Stefan NRPred 4 týždňamiBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Don'ts: Don't say get over it... Don't be bent on fixing us... Don't take a negative response personally... And remember, you can be sad and okay Do's: Give a depressed person a sense of control-- Like: Can I check on you every day to see how you are? Get our permission. Talk about normal stuff, invite a depressed person to join you, like go to a movie or clean out the garage Talk to a person like they belong and are important Listen to a depressed person like a good friend and don't judge
A little, I have one friend who does some of the do's and tries to drag me away from the don'ts but I think I might have just pushed her away, which sucks, entirely my fault really
Every non depressed person should watch this. Too often people treat me like im, well odd. Making me feel like a freak, like I'm no good etc. If they just understood that expression is a release and that were not asking to be fixed just to be listened to. Just to have a connection with someone without being told that we are not normal, or treated like freaks, or just looked at like they have no idea what to do with us. I often express it as being in a room alone, with a two way mirror and the rest of the world is staring at me through the window judging because they simply dont understand. Thank you for your video, the struggle is real and it deserves attention.
The problem that we are encountering is that depressed types are attracting other depressed types because they "relate". The idea is to get out of that cycle, however, it is becoming somewhat of the norm to be in a depressive state because it is easier to relate to other depressive types. At the end, having someone around simply to feel normal, but without actually providing value to lead that person out of the depressive state is not empowering. That value can be in the form of referring that other person to a professional.... Gone are the days of just being a "shoulder to lean on" and allowing a friend to be in a depressive state because far too many mishaps are occurring.
MASHkicksass darling, I’ve been trying to connect with my friend who suffer from depression n she keep saying that I don’t understand and I will never be. She always said people judge her n so on. But I am invisible for her and she doesn’t see my compassion for her. Maybe look at closely if there are actually someone who care about you. Please don’t take this in hard way, I wish I can just tell my friend that I want her to actually see my love. But she haven’t cause she focusing on her pain. I hope you are doing good darling. Break my heart to read your comment. I wish I could just sit there with you n your mirrors. Xoxo
I wish you were my friend. Because i have no friend in school.. I treat everyone in school like its their last day on earth...! If you were in my class it would be a double-win situation
My friend is depressed and it started to wear off on me so I seperated from her for a little bit and she got angry.. I just keep wondering if I did the right thing?
My wife has depression. It took me years for my default to acknowledge that she even has it. It’s invisible unlike a broken leg, so I would always think she’s okay. It’s not so clear how I should support her, even now I don’t think I provide the right support system for her. It’s definitely the most challenging thing that I’ve ever faced, but I have hope. Love will power me through it and I think we’ll both become better for it
"Make them realize that their life is as valuable as yours" I never knew such words could turn around my whole point of view of people with clinical depression.
pray to God and soon he will bring some one to tell your family in Vietnamese . or you could write what he say and you could use google to put english to vietnamese. i make vlog aboput life and hope you could check it. subscribe plz thanks you
Bill is awesome! I agree with the whole “don’t adjust your emotions when talking to depressed people.” I always feel guilty when I say I have a bad day and people feel guilty for actually having a good day.
Lydia Grace I feel the same way, that feeling of not wanting to bring others down with you basically. Like I don't want to ruin their day because they have to be sad for me or something.
To me, when someone tells me a story about things they are going through, and I listen and acknowledge them, but then they ask me how I’m doing, I tell them I’m doing great, but also mention that I feel badly saying that because I don’t want them to think I don’t care about them. That is not my intention.
Dear reader of this comment, No matter who you are or what you are going through, I just want you to know that you are AMAZING! No matter what bad stuff somebody may do to you or say to you the reality is that you are worth it! You are loved! You are beautiful! You are special! You are a gift! I am so happy that you are alive because the world will never ever have another you! :)
I wanna be the best friend possible to my friend with depression but I never feel like I'm doing and saying the right things. I'm afraid that I'm not helping her in any way and I feel so useless.
I'm going through the same thing. I think it has a lot to do with my "people pleasing" personality. It feels like I have to have to prepare my answers or over think about what will go down next time I see them. I've been watching a lot of videos about depression recently and I've noticed that there's a lot of listening and caring. You have to show them that they are valued and that their feelings are valid. They are not alone (you aren't either :)). Keep boundaries and remember to have time for yourself. You cannot constantly worry about them because it'll mess with you. Hope this helps.
What made me depressed is the lack of views this video has. It is super helpful, and now I think I can do my best at making a true connection with my friend.
I’m crying in my mind with a monotone face 24/7. I’m screaming with a smile in perpetuity. My wife is growing impatient. My kids are growing older. The wheel of time turns and I can’t slow it down to fix myself.
"your depressed friends can be free labour"... its so true... its relate to me, as i have a very hard time to connect to others... and thats depressing for me... but when i can contribute, i feel so alive... and when they say thank you, the feeling is heavenly... a time that i can connect without anywords... hello to all my depressed friends... we all can be normal as we want to be... we are not dissfuntional... we are people who have talents, hearts and souls... we can enjoy life as we see fit, even with our depression... i pray to all you my friends the best that you can be...
I relate so hard to that. If a family member or friend asks for a favour or help, I focus all my physical and mental power on that task. It feels like my actions actually mean something, like its not in vain. If I cant do good things for my self, at least I can do things for other people and make their lives a bit better...... I need to think about this stuff more often.... thx mrghostman
Agreed. I love tagging along to get something done. Especially cleaning. I would have zero problems cleaning for a living because it makes the thoughts stop.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
I was seriously watching 'cause I want to understand someone who's feeling this but when he said, "Your depressed friend could be your free source of labor," it got me smiling.
I'm a person with depression with social anxiety.. who lives with a roommate - also with depression. Everything's so goddamn hard when we're both barely functional at best. But I'll try. Will start with 'stop suggesting things' because I know what works for me might not work for my roommate, but it's so frustrating to not do so when your communication skills are worse than even a five year olds. But I'm trying. Thank you for this presentation, sincerely.
Great talk Bill! You made a sometimes really heavy subject much lighter. Loved the concept of suicidal ideations as a pressure release valve, and that we're not bad people for being depressed, and that you can be sad and okay at the same time.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
I'm 3:22 into this amazing talk and can't wait to hear what else Mr. Bernat has to say. My thoughts are that if a person tells you they're depressed, they don't want a lecture about being positive, forgiveness, gratitude, nutrition, exercise, helping others, etc. They really just want to know that you care.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
One of my best friends is facing depression, and me being me, having an extremely social and strong personality don't really understand him and often get frustrated because of his constant whining. But this made me better understand his situation, the thing is that I really love him and want to help him but I just don't know how
He is not whining. He is trying to communicate his experiences. Things that may seem small for you, can be really big for him. Don't tell him what to do. Even if the advise itself were sound, you can't reach that part of his brain anyway. Just listen to their concerns. Let them know you love them, and that they are important to you. You may need to repeat that last part several times before it reaches them. Ask if there is something you can help with. If there isn't, that's fine. Know that you are not personally responsible for their hapiness. Your influence is limited. But try to use the limited influence that you have to the fullest. It might be enough to make a difference.
Thank you for putting these posts out here for people who suffer from depression have a glimmer of hope to ending the stigma around this darkness that consumes us.
As someone who has suffered MDD and who currently works at a psych ward, you nailed it. And it was good to have a refresher on not taking anything personally.
Just letting you know that this is exactly the words I needed to hear. You have no idea how much time I've spend looking for something like this. Now I understand so many things now and all because of you, thank you so so so much, now I'm going to try to be more helpful for my friend who has depression. Thanks a lot, you have opened my mind. Keep up like this, you're a genius!
I'm not depressed, but I have this friend that has been dealing with depression for months now and at first it was impossible to tell she was depressed until did my best to get closer to her, and now she seems to be under treatment and still runs in to complications, yet I'm doing my best to understand how depression works and how to help her, because I care for her and I would love to have someone by my side if I'm in her position, so thanks for this video its extremely helpful!
I and my bestfriend both are depressed. It's hard seeing your closest friend experiencing something so hard like you. Just want to help him and be happy again. He deserves all the happiness.
Thank you, Bill. I needed to hear this. Your sense of humor makes me feel better about life. Laughing relieves much tension. It helps to not take life so seriously all the time. I wish I could meet other depressed friends. And have conversations that we can help each other. The friends I have aren't depressed and don't understand what I'm going through.
Yup, they always say get over it, but it is really hard. I don't know what to do sometimes, I just wanna lay in bed and sleep all night. I'm always tired of everything.
i know the feeling, but i play guitar, i do art of alsorts, i write (anyone can write, just spew stuff out, no one else has to see, although that can help, a bit of argument never did anyone any harm) and i have many interests, i ought to cut and paste this but here is my favourite quote on the subject: the opposite of depression isn't happiness, it's occupation, keeping occupied to distract you from the dark. when i don't know what to do i just scribble,, art or writing, just that, that alone, gets my mind wandering onto other art and scribble, like the quote says, life is all about distraction.
Thank you, this is inspiring me. I have a friend who has depression, and I don't know how to be a good friend to her. I've been always telling her that I will always be there if she needs someone who can listen to her. But sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough to make her escape from that sadness. But after watching this video, i realise that I should just be myself and don't try too hard to fix her...
The talk to her in your natural voice suggestion is a good one. Just be a friend. You can send a funny meme or play cards of a board game or watch a movie in person or over video conferencing. Your friend will need to put forth a lot of effort to "be normal " but you making a comfortable and non judgmental space for her to work in will help her feel successful at it that day and if she has a bad day the next day she will remember the day before you and she played a game and watched a movie and behaved like normal people and she will be proud
Thank you. I'm a very happy person, but my friend is deeply depressed, and I have always felt that I don't do enough, but now I understand that I can just be myself and that I don't have to "fix him." I can just be his friend, and show him that I care about him.
I'm depressed, and I have good days where I laugh and feel happy, and I have suicidal days. I sometimes cry and for me it's normal and something I can't stop, and it helps me getter better soon, and I just hate when someone tells me to stop crying. Something made me sad, why shouldn't I cry? Should I feel even more sad and stressed as long as I don't show any emotions? Is that better? WTF? If you let me cry and talk about my suicide thoughts, I probably won't kill myself, and feel relief. Source of free labour? Lol, not me. On my worse days, what's best for me is if you visit me and make me some coffee (it'll help me get out of bed and stop my headache), play with my cat (will make me laugh), buy me chocolate :P
i can cry at the drop of a hat when i'm depressed - something as simple as dropping an item without necessarily breaking it will send me soaring into a deeper negative space. but i'm also an emotional person when i'm not in the throes of my depression - this video actually made me cry right towards the end and i'm in kind of a numb depressive state (where I don't feel like i'm feeling emotions). one of the best things someone can do for me when i'm less-than-chipper is talking to me as if nothing is any different. treat me like i'm behaving normally, rather than acting out my depression; talk about things that aren't related to my feelings; let me respond with ridiculously depressing things. i'm not saying that's easy for someone to take on - especially if they don't understand it. but it is how other with depression talk to each other in and out of our depressive states. like bill says, ideation of death/suicide is as casual for us as the weather; i'm not horrified when a friend makes a joke about dying just like i'm not horrified when a friend without depression talks about wanting to knock someone out over ... what it is people threaten violence over, lol.
Covfefe27PL you can’t rely on people to make you feel better. Only you can do that and relying on that from people leads to disappointment and builds toxic relationships. I know because I am here right now, now I have nobody just me, surviving everyday. Making my own coffee
Once someone found me crying and said to a bunch of people that I cry for attention. Thanks, you were the one that sent me to a therapist in the first place.
This is a really important subject. Thank you so much for sharing it. I felt that Bill was charismatic, broke up the heaviness of this subject with humour and talked in a meaningful way. Incredible talk.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Thank you for the nice talk. It makes me also a bit more helpless/hopeless because my environment is mostly pushing me to overcome my depression. I feel like i just want to be. It's so tiring. :(
This is amazing... Sometimes we are depressed and we can't even define it and so we see it through others and we don't know how to handle that but I'm getting some tips here so thank you
I learned so much from this video. “It’s possible to be sad and okay at the same time!” And “suicidal ideation” is a psychological release valve, not a plan to act. Thank you for the insight!
I'm glad he mentioned the ideation point, it's something i've found myself and a lot of people do that people without depression often don't understand.
For me I just miss my last few years in college. My friends, family, work, school all of it was great and rewarding. Now I just feel empty. I don’t think that much has really changed but I’m just not happy like I was then. I’m worried I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to get that feeling back and every day I get further from when I was happy
Interesting, some things very well put. I especially like the end point, a couple of these things I cringe that I have done the opposite of at some points. Thanks
This video made me realise that my husband and I are actually helping in some form with our sons depression! We always feel like we should be doing more but what we are doing already might just be enough! Thanks
Thank you for this. One of my very good friends, is currently living through a depression - and what I struggle the most with, is keeping in touch without pressuring him or making him feel worse. This really opened my eyes to what I've done wrong and what I've done right - and I would say it's about 50/50... Nevertheless, It has given me a direction that I can follow, and hopefully I can make up for my previous mistakes.
The epitome of my social validation last year was post op colonoscopy when the nurses yelled: That's what we want to hear!!. The wind came from my back side. That's as good as it ever gets. I have to wait 2 more years and go through the indignities associated with it to experience those few moments again, that moment when my placeholder on this planet means more than my aging bride's reassurances. Its enough to make one want to resort to hypochondria.
Telling someone that everything will be alright and its all in his/her head is the worst advice to give with a person suffering from depression. A big long hug and saying that you will always be there will be a big help not talks and advices. Just be there for them.
4 mins in and i am crying uncontrollably... i hope there will come a time or i will meet people in a place where i can just be depressed and feel comfortable that i am sad. I want this...
I used those suicidal ideations back when my personal problems and problems made my people I surrounded myself with really got out of hand and it did help me. I thought: "Hey, if I don't want this anymore, there is still the possiblity of leaving this life."
I’ve been down in this deep ocean again since 2 months and now I’m so low that I’m fighting with suicidal ideation. Additionally to that, I have an ED and the symptoms both of depression and Eds are: isolation and withdrawal. so, without even really noticing it, I started withdrawing and stopped talking altogether about myself. I don’t see the point anymore in doing so, because I only have the “same”’problems and there will always be the same responses which I’ll receive if I would actually tell them whats going on. My friends have been reaching out, got impatient and now stopped talking to me. “Depression doesn’t diminish the wish to be with people, just the ability to do so.” It irritates me that people will receive “get-better-soon” cards when they’re lying sick in their beds but when I have to outrun my own self I get impatient responses and that I “need to pull myself together.” i want to, it’s not my new hobby. but I’m strained out and I can’t.
Talking to depressed people is unsettling because we never know when we might trigger them… causing them to bear grudges on us and putting blames on us for the misunderstandings… it’s really mentally tiring and sometimes mentally abusive… problems are hardly resolved… problems either escalate disproportionately or dismissed superficially.
Thanks to this video i've finally understood what I was blaming my parents for. They are trying their best to help me, but I really feel ashamed to not feel better and it makes it even worse. It is a really great video, I wish my parents would understand english so I would show it to them. (by the way if my english is flawed, please tell me, it's not my native language)
I just love this video! It's so funny while inspiring. My mom is just like him. She's bipolar, has anxiety and depression and more things. So I have never really discriminated, but I've had a friend for 6 months and she is a beautiful, funny, caring person. Recently she's been venting lots and opening up to me. I really just don't understand why people discriminate between depressed people. If someone you had known for your whole life and was always fun, they identified they had depression. Would you suddenly alienate them? Your brother? Sister? Best friend in school? Neighbour? No. So why would if change how you look at them? Just treat them like a *normal human being*
lol at times like this i always say "you haven't met my girlfriend have you" she's schizophrenic, ASD, bi-polar, PTSD, something i know not what, but she drives me NUTS, i know where you're coming from, nothing will stop me loving her, but it's really, really not easy, i can forgive cos i have the most talented person on the planet who likes me, but most people have a real struggle on their hands, and with no reward (other than itself), and right now my son has just opened up that he is taking meds for depression, but he won't talk to me and i'm not sure what to do, so, i really hear what you're saying and well done for standing by family, but some people aren't equipped to look after other people, and some patients are so difficult it's impossible to be any help.
My boyfriend has depression because of his terrible family situation so we’re taking a break until he’s able to move out. Watching this so I can be the best girlfriend possible for him rn
I felt depression like not wanting anything in li e so i started wanting things before my live was over and now i can cope a little but have many fallbacks
On my journey there are two types of depression, legitimate depression and fake/attention depression.... I have had people admit they only say they have depression to make people give them less of a hard time or excuse them for not having a job or basically having a poor lifestyle while legitimate depressed people don't get believed or less likely to get the help coz of these time wasters.... There's a fine line being sad and depressed, life won't get better if the individual doesn't start taking the step to improve themselves, I've had years of therapy to help me "get over it" as looking at my life I have lived a very privileged life and I have no right to be depressed but also a found a new love of painting
I think all my now ex-friends who are depressed for decades and medicated up to the eyeballs, have both legitimate depression and a whopping doses of wallowing, milking it and they do NOTHING to help themselves. I'm finished with them. I'm leaving to save myself.
"Depression doesn't diminish a person's desire to connect with other people, just their ability."
So true
Stefan NRPred 4 týždňamiBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Said it perfectly
I must be an anomaly. Then again I’ve never wanted to have to look at anyone to begin with.
I read this comment in the moment he said it!😆
Don'ts:
Don't say get over it...
Don't be bent on fixing us...
Don't take a negative response personally...
And remember, you can be sad and okay
Do's:
Give a depressed person a sense of control--
Like: Can I check on you every day to see how you are? Get our permission.
Talk about normal stuff, invite a depressed person to join you, like go to a movie or clean out the garage
Talk to a person like they belong and are important
Listen to a depressed person like a good friend and don't judge
Thanks Bill! I’m 11 and my friend has depression, and I’m trying to understand her more.
Same I specifically watched this to better understand what my friend is going through (I'm also 11)
it must be so hard dealing with that at 11. i'm 17 and a few of my friends are depressed.. stay strong and continue supporting her! much love
DinoDerp247 get a life
Lol the "I'm more depressed than you" gang showed up to completely miss the whole point of the video he commented on.
Same. Almost all my friends are depressed and has lots of anxiety. I'm trying to help, understand, and listen to them.
"Sometimes people are sad but ok" I need to remember that
Anybody else watch this because you are depressed and wanted to see if anybody you knew did any of this stuff?¿?
Me.
Me
Me
most definitely not
A little, I have one friend who does some of the do's and tries to drag me away from the don'ts but I think I might have just pushed her away, which sucks, entirely my fault really
A guy with social anxiety and depression delivering such a beautiful, informative and funny Ted talk on the same, made me cry out of joy! 👍👍❤
Every non depressed person should watch this. Too often people treat me like im, well odd. Making me feel like a freak, like I'm no good etc. If they just understood that expression is a release and that were not asking to be fixed just to be listened to. Just to have a connection with someone without being told that we are not normal, or treated like freaks, or just looked at like they have no idea what to do with us.
I often express it as being in a room alone, with a two way mirror and the rest of the world is staring at me through the window judging because they simply dont understand.
Thank you for your video, the struggle is real and it deserves attention.
The problem that we are encountering is that depressed types are attracting other depressed types because they "relate". The idea is to get out of that cycle, however, it is becoming somewhat of the norm to be in a depressive state because it is easier to relate to other depressive types. At the end, having someone around simply to feel normal, but without actually providing value to lead that person out of the depressive state is not empowering. That value can be in the form of referring that other person to a professional.... Gone are the days of just being a "shoulder to lean on" and allowing a friend to be in a depressive state because far too many mishaps are occurring.
MASHkicksass darling, I’ve been trying to connect with my friend who suffer from depression n she keep saying that I don’t understand and I will never be. She always said people judge her n so on. But I am invisible for her and she doesn’t see my compassion for her. Maybe look at closely if there are actually someone who care about you. Please don’t take this in hard way, I wish I can just tell my friend that I want her to actually see my love. But she haven’t cause she focusing on her pain. I hope you are doing good darling. Break my heart to read your comment. I wish I could just sit there with you n your mirrors. Xoxo
"we're not asking to be fixed, just to be listened to..."
Man, that was deep
I wish you were my friend. Because i have no friend in school.. I treat everyone in school like its their last day on earth...! If you were in my class it would be a double-win situation
My friend is depressed and it started to wear off on me so I seperated from her for a little bit and she got angry.. I just keep wondering if I did the right thing?
The absence of the ability to get over it IS depression
My wife has depression. It took me years for my default to acknowledge that she even has it. It’s invisible unlike a broken leg, so I would always think she’s okay. It’s not so clear how I should support her, even now I don’t think I provide the right support system for her. It’s definitely the most challenging thing that I’ve ever faced, but I have hope. Love will power me through it and I think we’ll both become better for it
"Make them realize that their life is as valuable as yours" I never knew such words could turn around my whole point of view of people with clinical depression.
I wish all my family and friends could see this. Thank you, Bill...
Samira Chammas Send it to them.
i wish i could, but i'm Asian and only i can understand English well enough in the family to understand this talk.
pray to God and soon he will bring some one to tell your family in Vietnamese . or you could write what he say and you could use google to put english to vietnamese. i make vlog aboput life and hope you could check it. subscribe plz thanks you
@@zman642 feel Free to message me If you need to talk about it
Bill is awesome! I agree with the whole “don’t adjust your emotions when talking to depressed people.” I always feel guilty when I say I have a bad day and people feel guilty for actually having a good day.
Lydia Grace I feel the same way, that feeling of not wanting to bring others down with you basically. Like I don't want to ruin their day because they have to be sad for me or something.
Adam Goodnough Exactly!
To me, when someone tells me a story about things they are going through, and I listen and acknowledge them, but then they ask me how I’m doing, I tell them I’m doing great, but also mention that I feel badly saying that because I don’t want them to think I don’t care about them. That is not my intention.
Dear reader of this comment,
No matter who you are or what you are going through, I just want you to know that you are AMAZING! No matter what bad stuff somebody may do to you or say to you the reality is that you are worth it! You are loved! You are beautiful! You are special! You are a gift! I am so happy that you are alive because the world will never ever have another you! :)
Henil Shah thank you xx
This is beautiful, keep being a source of light in the world. Hope you had a good day
♥
Thank you.
Henil, thank you for this comment
I wanna be the best friend possible to my friend with depression but I never feel like I'm doing and saying the right things. I'm afraid that I'm not helping her in any way and I feel so useless.
I'm going through the same thing. I think it has a lot to do with my "people pleasing" personality. It feels like I have to have to prepare my answers or over think about what will go down next time I see them. I've been watching a lot of videos about depression recently and I've noticed that there's a lot of listening and caring. You have to show them that they are valued and that their feelings are valid. They are not alone (you aren't either :)). Keep boundaries and remember to have time for yourself. You cannot constantly worry about them because it'll mess with you. Hope this helps.
What made me depressed is the lack of views this video has. It is super helpful, and now I think I can do my best at making a true connection with my friend.
TheSpearton45 I so noticed that too!! Will def share!
sad * not depressed
I cannot believe you left this comment on this video
I found this video 3 years later and I’m doing research to do whatever I can to help this person that I love so much
I’m crying in my mind with a monotone face 24/7. I’m screaming with a smile in perpetuity. My wife is growing impatient. My kids are growing older. The wheel of time turns and I can’t slow it down to fix myself.
🫂
"your depressed friends can be free labour"... its so true... its relate to me, as i have a very hard time to connect to others... and thats depressing for me... but when i can contribute, i feel so alive... and when they say thank you, the feeling is heavenly... a time that i can connect without anywords... hello to all my depressed friends... we all can be normal as we want to be... we are not dissfuntional... we are people who have talents, hearts and souls... we can enjoy life as we see fit, even with our depression... i pray to all you my friends the best that you can be...
I relate so hard to that. If a family member or friend asks for a favour or help, I focus all my physical and mental power on that task. It feels like my actions actually mean something, like its not in vain. If I cant do good things for my self, at least I can do things for other people and make their lives a bit better...... I need to think about this stuff more often.... thx mrghostman
i wish we can be together, share to help each other... who else can understand us, better than us... welcome myfriend....
Agreed. I love tagging along to get something done. Especially cleaning. I would have zero problems cleaning for a living because it makes the thoughts stop.
I got promoted because I did this. I stayed at work longest and did everything constantly. Usually without complaint, too.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Man I’m literally watching every video about depression cause my girl is suffering from it and I’m trying so hard to understand it.
You the real MVP
Me too.
This is so beautiful, I hope for nothing but the best for you two
I don’t know how but this guy brings so much light to a dark place
I was seriously watching 'cause I want to understand someone who's feeling this but when he said, "Your depressed friend could be your free source of labor," it got me smiling.
I'm a person with depression with social anxiety.. who lives with a roommate - also with depression. Everything's so goddamn hard when we're both barely functional at best. But I'll try. Will start with 'stop suggesting things' because I know what works for me might not work for my roommate, but it's so frustrating to not do so when your communication skills are worse than even a five year olds. But I'm trying. Thank you for this presentation, sincerely.
Benny Bateman best wishes to you Benny. Have you tried counseling? It saved my life! And also feeding my spiritual side ie Bible reading 🌸
Great talk Bill! You made a sometimes really heavy subject much lighter. Loved the concept of suicidal ideations as a pressure release valve, and that we're not bad people for being depressed, and that you can be sad and okay at the same time.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
I'm 3:22 into this amazing talk and can't wait to hear what else Mr. Bernat has to say. My thoughts are that if a person tells you they're depressed, they don't want a lecture about being positive, forgiveness, gratitude, nutrition, exercise, helping others, etc. They really just want to know that you care.
Exactly
"People can be sad and ok at the same time." Yes!!
I have depressions because I am too sensible and care for the world. Love u my depro bors and sistas
your strong hold on man
So deep.
/s
do you mean sensitive?
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
U TOO, UR AWESOME *HUGS*
One of my best friends is facing depression, and me being me, having an extremely social and strong personality don't really understand him and often get frustrated because of his constant whining. But this made me better understand his situation, the thing is that I really love him and want to help him but I just don't know how
He is not whining. He is trying to communicate his experiences. Things that may seem small for you, can be really big for him. Don't tell him what to do. Even if the advise itself were sound, you can't reach that part of his brain anyway. Just listen to their concerns. Let them know you love them, and that they are important to you. You may need to repeat that last part several times before it reaches them. Ask if there is something you can help with. If there isn't, that's fine. Know that you are not personally responsible for their hapiness. Your influence is limited. But try to use the limited influence that you have to the fullest. It might be enough to make a difference.
Thank you for putting these posts out here for people who suffer from depression have a glimmer of hope to ending the stigma around this darkness that consumes us.
I feel so relate to this after what I've been through, and for what my friends had done to me. I wish they watch this video...
Thank you Bill you just made me realize what I can do for others, I hope you to have a good day
This man is probably a blast to hang out with, despite not being all that exciting. No wonder he knows how to fight depression.
This was an amazing talk. You really changed my perspective on how to best approach these sort of situations. Thank you!
Such a sweet guy! I didn't have the energy to watch all of it but those 11 minutes I did were amazing. Thank you
As someone who has suffered MDD and who currently works at a psych ward, you nailed it. And it was good to have a refresher on not taking anything personally.
one of the best talks about depression I listened to. Thank you!
Just letting you know that this is exactly the words I needed to hear. You have no idea how much time I've spend looking for something like this. Now I understand so many things now and all because of you, thank you so so so much, now I'm going to try to be more helpful for my friend who has depression. Thanks a lot, you have opened my mind.
Keep up like this, you're a genius!
Thanks for the talk, Bill.
I'm not depressed, but I have this friend that has been dealing with depression for months now and at first it was impossible to tell she was depressed until did my best to get closer to her, and now she seems to be under treatment and still runs in to complications, yet I'm doing my best to understand how depression works and how to help her, because I care for her and I would love to have someone by my side if I'm in her position, so thanks for this video its extremely helpful!
I and my bestfriend both are depressed. It's hard seeing your closest friend experiencing something so hard like you. Just want to help him and be happy again. He deserves all the happiness.
These videos help me calm down evertime im feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
Thank you, Bill. I needed to hear this. Your sense of humor makes me feel better about life. Laughing relieves much tension. It helps to not take life so seriously all the time. I wish I could meet other depressed friends. And have conversations that we can help each other. The friends I have aren't depressed and don't understand what I'm going through.
*Great* Speech ! Thank you for these uplifting 14 Minutes !
“She talked to him like he Belonged and Contributed...” 👍🏻🙋♀️🥰
This is the talk I now share with everyone to help them understand what I need. It's amazing and dead on! It doesn't hurt that it's also hilarious!
Yup, they always say get over it, but it is really hard. I don't know what to do sometimes, I just wanna lay in bed and sleep all night. I'm always tired of everything.
i know the feeling, but i play guitar, i do art of alsorts, i write (anyone can write, just spew stuff out, no one else has to see, although that can help, a bit of argument never did anyone any harm) and i have many interests, i ought to cut and paste this but here is my favourite quote on the subject: the opposite of depression isn't happiness, it's occupation, keeping occupied to distract you from the dark. when i don't know what to do i just scribble,, art or writing, just that, that alone, gets my mind wandering onto other art and scribble, like the quote says, life is all about distraction.
Thank you, this is inspiring me. I have a friend who has depression, and I don't know how to be a good friend to her. I've been always telling her that I will always be there if she needs someone who can listen to her. But sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough to make her escape from that sadness. But after watching this video, i realise that I should just be myself and don't try too hard to fix her...
The talk to her in your natural voice suggestion is a good one. Just be a friend. You can send a funny meme or play cards of a board game or watch a movie in person or over video conferencing. Your friend will need to put forth a lot of effort to "be normal " but you making a comfortable and non judgmental space for her to work in will help her feel successful at it that day and if she has a bad day the next day she will remember the day before you and she played a game and watched a movie and behaved like normal people and she will be proud
This depressed person LOVE THIS video! Thank you!
Thank you Bill for your humour and humanity.
Thank you. I'm a very happy person, but my friend is deeply depressed, and I have always felt that I don't do enough, but now I understand that I can just be myself and that I don't have to "fix him." I can just be his friend, and show him that I care about him.
I'm depressed, and I have good days where I laugh and feel happy, and I have suicidal days. I sometimes cry and for me it's normal and something I can't stop, and it helps me getter better soon, and I just hate when someone tells me to stop crying. Something made me sad, why shouldn't I cry? Should I feel even more sad and stressed as long as I don't show any emotions? Is that better? WTF?
If you let me cry and talk about my suicide thoughts, I probably won't kill myself, and feel relief.
Source of free labour? Lol, not me. On my worse days, what's best for me is if you visit me and make me some coffee (it'll help me get out of bed and stop my headache), play with my cat (will make me laugh), buy me chocolate :P
i can cry at the drop of a hat when i'm depressed - something as simple as dropping an item without necessarily breaking it will send me soaring into a deeper negative space. but i'm also an emotional person when i'm not in the throes of my depression - this video actually made me cry right towards the end and i'm in kind of a numb depressive state (where I don't feel like i'm feeling emotions).
one of the best things someone can do for me when i'm less-than-chipper is talking to me as if nothing is any different. treat me like i'm behaving normally, rather than acting out my depression; talk about things that aren't related to my feelings; let me respond with ridiculously depressing things. i'm not saying that's easy for someone to take on - especially if they don't understand it. but it is how other with depression talk to each other in and out of our depressive states. like bill says, ideation of death/suicide is as casual for us as the weather; i'm not horrified when a friend makes a joke about dying just like i'm not horrified when a friend without depression talks about wanting to knock someone out over ... what it is people threaten violence over, lol.
Meditation is key. Try it
Covfefe27PL you can’t rely on people to make you feel better. Only you can do that and relying on that from people leads to disappointment and builds toxic relationships. I know because I am here right now, now I have nobody just me, surviving everyday. Making my own coffee
Once someone found me crying and said to a bunch of people that I cry for attention. Thanks, you were the one that sent me to a therapist in the first place.
Hope you're alright, I wish I could play with your cat and make some coffee for you so you feel better.
This is a really important subject. Thank you so much for sharing it. I felt that Bill was charismatic, broke up the heaviness of this subject with humour and talked in a meaningful way. Incredible talk.
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven
Thanks so much Bill. Humbly given words of wisdom.
one of the ted talks ive heard thanks a lot
Thank you for the nice talk. It makes me also a bit more helpless/hopeless because my environment is mostly pushing me to overcome my depression. I feel like i just want to be. It's so tiring. :(
People have always put me down and made me feel terrible for struggling with depression
Thank you so much!! Just so so helpful, funny and reassuring!!
This is amazing... Sometimes we are depressed and we can't even define it and so we see it through others and we don't know how to handle that but I'm getting some tips here so thank you
I learned so much from this video. “It’s possible to be sad and okay at the same time!” And “suicidal ideation” is a psychological release valve, not a plan to act. Thank you for the insight!
The most beautiful talk I have watched
A man of substance.
Muito bom, adoro construtores de pontes! Melhor ainda quem se dispõe a nos ajudar a construir as nossas.
Thanks to this man!
I'm glad he mentioned the ideation point, it's something i've found myself and a lot of people do that people without depression often don't understand.
Oh my gosh thank you, i shall listen to this over and again ❤
For me I just miss my last few years in college. My friends, family, work, school all of it was great and rewarding. Now I just feel empty. I don’t think that much has really changed but I’m just not happy like I was then. I’m worried I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to get that feeling back and every day I get further from when I was happy
Interesting, some things very well put. I especially like the end point, a couple of these things I cringe that I have done the opposite of at some points. Thanks
Great video I really needed to hear this n share it!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you!!!
One of the best talks about depression I’ve heard.
Mare OB right! He’s a perfect speaker when it comes to this topic 💕
This video made me realise that my husband and I are actually helping in some form with our sons depression! We always feel like we should be doing more but what we are doing already might just be enough! Thanks
So glad it helped you guys!
Thank you for this. One of my very good friends, is currently living through a depression - and what I struggle the most with, is keeping in touch without pressuring him or making him feel worse. This really opened my eyes to what I've done wrong and what I've done right - and I would say it's about 50/50...
Nevertheless, It has given me a direction that I can follow, and hopefully I can make up for my previous mistakes.
Can’t be upset about some of the stuff you did wrong, we’re all trying our best even if it sucks
This is quite brilliant. Thank you.
Hello
My family thinks I need to express more gratitude, do more yoga, and drink more tea. The depression is all my personal failures.
The epitome of my social validation last year was post op colonoscopy when the nurses yelled: That's what we want to hear!!. The wind came from my back side. That's as good as it ever gets. I have to wait 2 more years and go through the indignities associated with it to experience those few moments again, that moment when my placeholder on this planet means more than my aging bride's reassurances. Its enough to make one want to resort to hypochondria.
I am clinically Optimistic... and Addicted to telling People to “get over it”... Thank You for this Video as I strive to learn more about others.
Telling someone that everything will be alright and its all in his/her head is the worst advice to give with a person suffering from depression. A big long hug and saying that you will always be there will be a big help not talks and advices. Just be there for them.
Thanks a lot bill appreciate your help
4 mins in and i am crying uncontrollably... i hope there will come a time or i will meet people in a place where i can just be depressed and feel comfortable that i am sad. I want this...
Hope this year (2022) will be better for you!
I really hate myself right now, but I'm looking at these kinds of videos to try to help.
I used those suicidal ideations back when my personal problems and problems made my people I surrounded myself with really got out of hand and it did help me. I thought: "Hey, if I don't want this anymore, there is still the possiblity of leaving this life."
I’ve been down in this deep ocean again since 2 months and now I’m so low that I’m fighting with suicidal ideation.
Additionally to that, I have an ED and the symptoms both of depression and Eds are:
isolation and withdrawal.
so, without even really noticing it, I started withdrawing and stopped talking altogether about myself. I don’t see the point anymore in doing so, because I only have the “same”’problems and there will always be the same responses which I’ll receive if I would actually tell them whats going on.
My friends have been reaching out, got impatient and now stopped talking to me.
“Depression doesn’t diminish the wish to be with people, just the ability to do so.”
It irritates me that people will receive “get-better-soon” cards when they’re lying sick in their beds but when I have to outrun my own self I get impatient responses and that I “need to pull myself together.”
i want to, it’s not my new hobby.
but I’m strained out and I can’t.
Talking to depressed people is unsettling because we never know when we might trigger them… causing them to bear grudges on us and putting blames on us for the misunderstandings… it’s really mentally tiring and sometimes mentally abusive… problems are hardly resolved… problems either escalate disproportionately or dismissed superficially.
Thanks to this video i've finally understood what I was blaming my parents for.
They are trying their best to help me, but I really feel ashamed to not feel better and it makes it even worse.
It is a really great video, I wish my parents would understand english so I would show it to them. (by the way if my english is flawed, please tell me, it's not my native language)
Subtitles
"you can be sad and okay at the same"
"you can be sad and okay at the same"
“ There’s no need to build a bridge between you (and the depressed person) because you have closed the chasm”. That’s deep!
Is that at-one-ment?
No matter what he says, his shoes are actually dank!!!
👏👏👏👏👏👏 Thanks so much for this video, much needed
Thank you for this :)
I just love this video! It's so funny while inspiring. My mom is just like him. She's bipolar, has anxiety and depression and more things. So I have never really discriminated, but I've had a friend for 6 months and she is a beautiful, funny, caring person. Recently she's been venting lots and opening up to me. I really just don't understand why people discriminate between depressed people.
If someone you had known for your whole life and was always fun, they identified they had depression. Would you suddenly alienate them? Your brother? Sister? Best friend in school? Neighbour? No. So why would if change how you look at them?
Just treat them like a *normal human being*
lol at times like this i always say "you haven't met my girlfriend have you" she's schizophrenic, ASD, bi-polar, PTSD, something i know not what, but she drives me NUTS, i know where you're coming from, nothing will stop me loving her, but it's really, really not easy, i can forgive cos i have the most talented person on the planet who likes me, but most people have a real struggle on their hands, and with no reward (other than itself), and right now my son has just opened up that he is taking meds for depression, but he won't talk to me and i'm not sure what to do, so, i really hear what you're saying and well done for standing by family, but some people aren't equipped to look after other people, and some patients are so difficult it's impossible to be any help.
Beautiful speech
"People can be sad, and okay at the same time."
Thank YOU
Came here so I could help a friend, realizing now that I may also be depressed. Laugh so I don't cry.
My boyfriend has depression because of his terrible family situation so we’re taking a break until he’s able to move out. Watching this so I can be the best girlfriend possible for him rn
Oh I wish they find a cure against depression. It´s such a threat to human wellbeing and happiness.
Awesome video Sir. Seriously.
thank you
Thank you
I felt depression like not wanting anything in li e so i started wanting things before my live was over and now i can cope a little but have many fallbacks
Bravo.
On my journey there are two types of depression, legitimate depression and fake/attention depression....
I have had people admit they only say they have depression to make people give them less of a hard time or excuse them for not having a job or basically having a poor lifestyle while legitimate depressed people don't get believed or less likely to get the help coz of these time wasters....
There's a fine line being sad and depressed, life won't get better if the individual doesn't start taking the step to improve themselves, I've had years of therapy to help me "get over it" as looking at my life I have lived a very privileged life and I have no right to be depressed but also a found a new love of painting
I think all my now ex-friends who are depressed for decades and medicated up to the eyeballs, have both legitimate depression and a whopping doses of wallowing, milking it and they do NOTHING to help themselves. I'm finished with them. I'm leaving to save myself.
@@kathykonkle1097 don't blame you, save yourself, some genuinely like the attention even when it's legitimate depression so they Sure milk it