ErrEff He clearly took lessons from Barry about exposition "Jill. Here is a lockpick. it might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, took it with you"
psychotrip right?! I was going back through the classics and this game looks positively masterclass next to the most egregious garbage that came out via Steam Greenlight and Direct nowadays. It's still fucking awful, but at least it's a game. That's more than you can say for the worst of the worst steam games these days
My impression of the conversation between developers: "Ok, the game opens and the player is tasked to find a key then use that to find a sword". "No, no, no. That is too easy. They must find a key (an invisible key!), use that to open a door to find a torch, but no oil for the torch." "A torch?" "Yes. Then they must find the oil for the torch, then use the torch to find a key in an unlit room, use that key to open a chest that contains......a key." "This is a lot of keys." "Exactly! Then the player uses that key to open a door that has the sword they need behind it." "Sounds like the player will need a map." "Ain't no one got time to make a map."
I personally love the phrase "they stole all the gold and all the weapons," as they completely glance over it in favor of the dude's sister who you love. Care to explain how [i]anything[/i] could take all of the wealth from any given area and take away every sword, polearm, knife, hunting bow, and sufficiently sturdy stick onto which one could feasibly affix a pointed bit of iron and call a spear? Were these monsters in disguise so that people wouldn't notice they were particularly ruthless accountants and lawyers?
anaalinaama Reading on things such as "how to avoid negative people" and such, and now revisiting this video I finally found why that quote bothered me: it's thrown in the game without any context! When you read on any subject, if quotes are used(even if you don't specifically agree with the author or don't find them really useful) at the very least it refers directly to the main theme! Here, it could have been written on a mug that it would have the same impact...
I've got other quotes for the devs: "Lick me in my arse" - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1765 - 1791) "...your mother..." Matthaeus 12 : 47 "you must help me find my sister! You are in love with her!" Richard Burian (propably 2014)
Veetard1985 This doesn't sound too bad to me(the sound design is quite good) but the animation... Dear God! When you must walk or look around it ain't so bad but the cutscenes and combat are so ugly and broken it makes me feel sad inside!
"The monsters and their scary get up". Amazing writing. Give this man a Golden Globe or an Oscar or some shit. Whatever you give to smart people with this level of writing talent. A golden sandwich maybe.
I remember when this game came out, they pulled Slaughtering Grounds kind of, I had the misfortune of playing it and I tried to warn people about how bad this game is in youtube and desura and few other sites. What they did is that they removed ALL the content that was negative towards the game, so if you were not praising the game you were silenced.
***** that may be true, but as a vital part of our species we've given every form of water a different name to differentiate its various forms: Water(liquid), Ice( frozen solid), moisture, steam, mist, fog, cloud, evaporation, vapor, humidity, etc... So saying liquid water is redundant since the liquid form is what water commonly refers to.
"... their scary getup." I had some suspicion about this line, and yes, "getup" is defined as "A style or arrangement of dress, especially an elaborate or unusual one"... I am quite speechless...
I remember seeing someone play this years ago and thought "You know, this doesn't seem too bad for an early 2000's game" Then I found it was released in 2014.
Not only was this video acceptable, but as far as I'm concerned it was one of your most amusing ones to date Jim. When a game drives you to despair your commentary and sarcasm hit their all time high. Well done for turning shit into fun!
I love watching you play these shitty games. Usually at work when I'm eating in, I'll put on a comedy show and watch that while I eat. The last few weeks now I think, I've been watching these videos and they honestly make my afternoon.
Graphics remind me of N64 games. Also, why did they feel the need to have a long quest for the sword, why not just start you in the castle, with the sword, and fight your way out to the exit to the king??? Have these developers ever played a video game before?
Oh my god, when he was jumping for the oil, I was like "this seems like a place where people would quit", but lord.... it was about halfway through the video.... Jim, you are too patient.
The funny thing is that there is no autosave in the game, so if Jim wanted to continue playing the game, he would have to start from where he last saved the game, which was when he got that oil from the top of that silly shelf. Amazing level design lol
So far - Unearthed, Guise of the Wolf, Rambo the Video Game, Deus Ex the Fall, Desert Gunner, Dark Shadows, and the list goes on with it being only the first quarter of the year. What the hell is going on with video games this year?!?!
People are actually defending this on Steam, saying "oh well it was basically made by one guy" (apart from the music which was made by 10 different people). Seems like people will defend any old shite these days, I've had shits that were more entertaining than this and I'm just one guy too, give me money.
Here's a tip for one-person game devs: Adjust your ambition. Don't make a project that's too ambitious for one person to usually make. Unless you're _really_ good at game development, your project will either end up as a pipe dream that never got past its concept stage, or it will end up like Dark Shadows here.
+sockpuppetkingdom I agree. It's much better to make a small but polished game than a big unfinished lackluster one. Also, 3D games are hard to do right; much better to start off with 2D games to learn the ropes.
When an RPG asks you to look for mundane shit like keys and oil you'd expect the world that you have to travel through to get them to at least be populated with interesting stuff to see and do in the meantime, see the Fallout serious or the Elder Scrolls or Dragons Dogma or Dark Souls or anything half decent. What's with all these games coming out on Steam, it's as if they all looked at Day One or 2012 and thought, "Yeah looks good, get me a slice of that, repackage it and ship it out", some of these games aren't even early access, they're full games. I often say that games are subjective, down to ones personally tastes and opinions and that most games aren't factually good or bad, that most games will have an audience that loves it but man it's hard to see that with games like these.
It's a common misconception that such games prevail these days - there have ALWAYS been a ton of shit games around for decades. Mind you, it is easier to get public attention if only briefly, partly because of the ease of finding true feedback. In the dare I say, olden days, it could be nothing short of a pure gamble. This game is a prime example of the sort of game which prevailed in the early 80s - a game where someone had learned to code proficiently, and thought "hey, I can make games", and decided to bash together a workable engine, and even a company, overlooking the simple fact that they have ZERO talent for making a game, and indeed what a game is - fun. Why such people keep making the same old mistakes of old is frankly embarrassing.
Daniel Linger Oh I know and I agree with you, it pisses me off when people say that so and so decade or generation was better for games, when there have always been good and bad games, oh and good and bad business practices too, the crash in the 70's and the crash in the 80's are enough to prove that. This reminds me of hearing stories of people making crappy ZX Spectrum games and games for similar computers at the time or the countless bootleg or unlicensed NES games that were made and put into circulation. I agree, if we can put antiquated design philosophies behind us when it comes to difficulty and the like, I don't see why we can't avoid stuff like this, all it takes is Steam, Valve to take responsibility and do some quality control. Mind you this shouldn't be there to scare off every one man developer, because sometimes single individuals can produce great games.
Ryan Morton A couple of points - firstly there has only been one crash; in the 80s. Secondly, I disagree there should be much in the way of quality control on Valve's behalf. All they need to do is prevent the sale of broken games, although even they are covered under consumer laws for places such as us in England and Europe.
Daniel Linger Nope there has been two, a minor one in the 70's, 1977 to be precise; it came near the end of the first generation of consoles due to the influx of Pong consoles, this lead to a change and the start of the second generation of consoles where Atari became big with the 2600. The other was in 1983 at the end of the second generation of consoles, this was due to a high volume of poorly produced games, lack of respect from other industries and parties and a flawed distribution oh and arguably Atari being a shitty company but that's just conjecture, this crash lead to the third generation and the rise of Nintendo with the NES. I don't see how your second point differs from my own, I said that Steam needs quality control but then you said you disagree but then go onto say the same thing.
Ryan Morton Ah fair point about the Pong influx - it was minor though, so it does tend to get overlooked (plus it didn't really affect us in England). No, my second point was an elaboration. I disagreed with PART of what you said.
This is like watching someone's slow descent to madness. Still waiting for the "army of evil" i guess haven't seen a single monster from that "army" in the first 28 minutes of the video.
for some reason my favorite part was when jim said; 'i certainly hope we get the action going along soon, so we can fight the monsters in their scary get up.' XD
"Textures and Skins by ..." Someone who decided to pull his/her name off this project? Graphics: 🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽/10 Gameplay: 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩/10
So, before the game even properly begins, you have to get a key to get a torch to get oil to light the torch to get a key to get another key to get a sword. Before the game begins. I can't even forgive it for literally being Conwy Castle.
There seems to be a common theme with these awful games whereby developers make these really large areas full of models, characters and assets, but then don't put anything in them. Like open woods that allow you to walk wherever, but your target is an axe imbedded in a tree stump...over there somewhere. Or like this castle where you're looking for two items, but they've put in rooms and stairs and courtyards and *nothing* is signposted.
Because there's nothing saying it can't be on there. It's free reign for whatever group of cretins vomits their game on to steam for a ridiculous price when compared to the quality of the product. Like a game that's barely even playable and the developers are like "yeah it's $30 for early access but we'll totally have more stuff in it soon we swear".
Daniel Linger Point taken. But the way they are doing it right now is totally fucked up. It's like going to some random supermarket into the games section where you have to climb over hundreds of boxes of.. X Gunner, Farming Simulators and... Japanese Schoolgirls vs.Tentacle Zombies just to get to the one game you were looking for... Just because they simply toss their shovel ware on the floor. Hell, Thief is almost already kicked off the front page and that isn't even one month old. And btw pretty much the only AAA title on the new release tab right now - the only one with a decent budget.. out of 100 titles! That's not an ok thing for your local mall to do. But for steam it's alright? Yeah, bullshit. I'm fine with having shovel ware on steam.. but DON'T put them on the main page where it's shoveling away the games that devs put some real effort into. The only thing that's missing right now are thousands of Flappy Bird clones flooding steam. You don't want that, me neither and even valve should be smart enough to realize that this will certainly damage their reputation quite hefty in the long run. 9 years on steam, 250+ games and this is the first time I am that pissed off with Valve. Steam is an apocalyptic mess and Valve needs to fix that ASAP!
Nightstalker Gaming this game was probably inspired by Guise of the Wolf. You can recognize the majestic design decisions. Shame that they didn't put instant death traps near the keys.
Sweeping crap. Indies include Valve themselves, so how's that analogy work now? What about Level-5 who make the brilliant RPGs, predominantly on Playstation? You're making the all too often flawed assumption that indie means shit or small game. It doesn't - it means one thing only - the status of the developer's business and that they develop free from major publisher input and assets.
The...the sound design...It literally sounds like kitchen knives and pots and pans getting smacked. I like to use the "pots and pans" thing as an analogy for sound design but I've never seen it literally used for sound design.
I normally have a good sense of direction in videogames, even just watching someone play them I get an idea of where is what, but here I seriously feel lost.
The worst part about this game isn't the tedious key-collecting. It's not the poor graphics. It's not the confusing level design. It's not even the bad voice acting. It's that there wasn't even a single appearance by Barnabas Collins. :V
"Alright sir, we have the loading screens done, they look great so far." "Alright good, How much did it cost?" "Uh... " The boss looks at the amount. "Holy shit! You idiot! Now we don't have enough to make the game!" "Wait a minute, we were making a video game?" :l
19:53 etc. "This is the pits" Watching this is literally, the most frustrating thing I've ever experienced. The only thing that even comes close was repeatedly trying to enter the apocryphal code in the original Tomb Raider on the Playstation that everyone claimed made Lara Croft's clothes come off.
The little story blurb kinda sounds a bit like the beginning of DLC Quest. Things just keep being tacked on as if to show you why the antagonists are evil, because the game itself probably has no subtle explanation for it. "That Bad Guy just stole Princess MacGuffin! You have to rescue her!" "Also, he murdered your uncle! You must get revenge!" "I think he might have peed in the town's water supply too!" However, DLC Quest was being comedic with it, while this seems to be doing anything but.
"Various weapons will be available. They can be found in different levels." Recently, I had my mind blown by stuff that does not even manage to be "bad". This. I like how you're speechless.
"You must help me find my sister. You are in love with her, after all."
Masterful exposition.
ErrEff He clearly took lessons from Barry about exposition
"Jill. Here is a lockpick. it might be handy if you, the master of unlocking, took it with you"
+SuperSpawnofhell At least Resident Evil has the excuse of originally being in Japanese.
***** Fair enough. Either way, both of them from this game and RE sounded hilarious
You aren't wrong there
you were almost a... JILL SANDWICH
"... they took all of the weapons."
Whilst every guard holds a sword and a shield.
Apparently the "monsters" ALSO took all the game's budget while the Dev team were so busy with the whole intro credits deal.
"they took all the taxes"
....how?
PraiseTheSun20 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT THE TAXES!!!!!
PraiseTheSun20 THEY ALSO TOOK ALL THE DEBT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
PraiseTheSun20 With a very big bag.
+Forrest Roberts I resent that. I also laughed. I'm a bad person
+PraiseTheSun20 Literally went down here as soon as I heard that XD
I have no idea why, but I always end up coming back here. It's like a comfort video for me. Can't believe it's been eight fucking years already.
This video and the video where the security guard dances are fucking hilarious.
same bro)
the first level. THE FIRST LEVEL. you need a fucking walkthrough guide AND youre being put to sleep. top notch game design.
Remember the good old days when THIS was considered unbelievable?
psychotrip right?! I was going back through the classics and this game looks positively masterclass next to the most egregious garbage that came out via Steam Greenlight and Direct nowadays.
It's still fucking awful, but at least it's a game. That's more than you can say for the worst of the worst steam games these days
Watching this video, I mourn for the loss of Jim's innocence. Soon he will learn just how bad a game can be.
yeah, and Jim videos are so good and funny that i actually rewatch some old gems like this one
Et Cogito Ergo Sum the sad part is Jim's vids aren't like this (raw/uncut usually) anymore.
Fast forward to today...
10 out of 10, game launched with .exe and is not a hentai sliding puzzle full of stolen art.
The game does have one thing right; there's lots of dark shadows in it....
Lots.
Spike Rose *Rimshot* Buh Dum Tss!
Thumbs up for the pun and the Volnutt icon.
My impression of the conversation between developers:
"Ok, the game opens and the player is tasked to find a key then use that to find a sword".
"No, no, no. That is too easy. They must find a key (an invisible key!), use that to open a door to find a torch, but no oil for the torch."
"A torch?"
"Yes. Then they must find the oil for the torch, then use the torch to find a key in an unlit room, use that key to open a chest that contains......a key."
"This is a lot of keys."
"Exactly! Then the player uses that key to open a door that has the sword they need behind it."
"Sounds like the player will need a map."
"Ain't no one got time to make a map."
You're a goddamn genius son......
I personally love the phrase "they stole all the gold and all the weapons," as they completely glance over it in favor of the dude's sister who you love. Care to explain how [i]anything[/i] could take all of the wealth from any given area and take away every sword, polearm, knife, hunting bow, and sufficiently sturdy stick onto which one could feasibly affix a pointed bit of iron and call a spear? Were these monsters in disguise so that people wouldn't notice they were particularly ruthless accountants and lawyers?
Conspiratorium Well, taxes seems to particularly interest them, so probably.
Runaway Whores sounds like a fantastic band name.
How about "Ol' Wild Willy"?
flim-flam gangbang
♫ *DARK SHADOWS!* ♫
♫♪ MONSTERS IN DISGUISE! ♫♪
♫ *DARK SHADOWS!* ♫♪
♫ MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE! ♫♪
♫ *DARK SHADOWS!* ♫
Jim, you're a good lad. Thanks for this video, all the gold, all the taxes and, of course; the weapons.
"You are in love with her, after all." That was a delightfully Darkplace-esque bit of exposition.
Does anyone else get the feeling that the only reason there isn't autosave is that the devs couldn't work out how to code it?
of course they didn't lol
Actually, if you note the credits it's DEV, not DEVS, which speaks volumes.
Daniel Linger what ? a single dev did that ?
Fluffy The Destroyer Yes, do Google it.
Late Game Reviewer Still, could have waited a little until the game was more polished, then released it!
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
HOW DOES THAT RELATE TO ANYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING?!
Welcome to pretentious games 101
It's an untrue joke.
anaalinaama Reading on things such as "how to avoid negative people" and such, and now revisiting this video I finally found why that quote bothered me: it's thrown in the game without any context!
When you read on any subject, if quotes are used(even if you don't specifically agree with the author or don't find them really useful) at the very least it refers directly to the main theme! Here, it could have been written on a mug that it would have the same impact...
I've got other quotes for the devs:
"Lick me in my arse" - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (1765 - 1791)
"...your mother..." Matthaeus 12 : 47
"you must help me find my sister! You are in love with her!" Richard Burian (propably 2014)
Looks like all of the budget went into the soundtrack.
*Intro. Ftfy.
Adrellisartar Novalrus Yeah you're right. The rest of the soundtrack in the game was not up to par.
All the budget went into the monsters scary getup.
they didnt make it
The dude's sister looks like she was taken out of the Sims 2
This is physically and emotionally draining. The sound of the wind makes me sick to my stomach and the whimpering dog just makes me sad.
Veetard1985 This doesn't sound too bad to me(the sound design is quite good) but the animation... Dear God! When you must walk or look around it ain't so bad but the cutscenes and combat are so ugly and broken it makes me feel sad inside!
I guess you should rescue her. You ARE in love with her after all.
Oh. My. God. They killed the king! I guess that means that I'll have to rescue my sister now! Bye!
"The monsters and their scary get up".
Amazing writing. Give this man a Golden Globe or an Oscar or some shit. Whatever you give to smart people with this level of writing talent. A golden sandwich maybe.
Or a golden shower.
I remember when this game came out, they pulled Slaughtering Grounds kind of, I had the misfortune of playing it and I tried to warn people about how bad this game is in youtube and desura and few other sites. What they did is that they removed ALL the content that was negative towards the game, so if you were not praising the game you were silenced.
UndefinedGamer "The shadows were indeed dark" 10/10
-IGN
Wardrobe Humping Simulator 2014
Rule #34 strikes again.
I never in a million years thought a dark medieval fantasy game would make me nostalgic for Candice DeBébé's Incredibly Trick Lifestyle.
This is why mini maps were invented
helps to have a mini map.
Helps to have actual devs lel.
Direction signs wpuld be better more impersive
To be fair, those shadows *were* quite dark.
Dark Shadows... That's like saying Hot fire or Absurd insanity.or even liquid water.
Appraxsis :l To be fair,water can become solid or gaseous.
***** that may be true, but as a vital part of our species we've given every form of water a different name to differentiate its various forms: Water(liquid), Ice( frozen solid), moisture, steam, mist, fog, cloud, evaporation, vapor, humidity, etc... So saying liquid water is redundant since the liquid form is what water commonly refers to.
meavor Yeah,sure.
"The key for it is locked in a chest" so your first quest is to get a key so you can get a key.. Thrilling.
This "thing" makes me want to hug every single game in my collection, tell all of them how much I love them and how glad I am, that they are here.
"... their scary getup." I had some suspicion about this line, and yes, "getup" is defined as "A style or arrangement of dress, especially an elaborate or unusual one"... I am quite speechless...
Music is by Adam Skorupa? Oh. He's an AMAZING Polish composer. Gorky 17, The Witcher, Painkiller among the many others
"You must help me find my sister! You're in love with her, after all."
Woven in there like a quilt...
Yup, one of those patchwork jobs that are made out of rags...
I think Jim went through all the stages of grief in this video.
Pop Culture Primer Mostly anger and depression I think... Maybe some denial but not bargaining and surely not acceptance! 😏
I want to see the bit in the strategy guide where it tells you to hump the cabinet to get the lantern oil.
"I can't see sh*t " : the game
I remember seeing someone play this years ago and thought "You know, this doesn't seem too bad for an early 2000's game"
Then I found it was released in 2014.
BME Digital Studios... does the BM stand for "Bowel Movement"?
"Bowel Movement Extreme" Digital Studios
Bowel Mass Egress
Not only was this video acceptable, but as far as I'm concerned it was one of your most amusing ones to date Jim. When a game drives you to despair your commentary and sarcasm hit their all time high. Well done for turning shit into fun!
Wow, Jim...great moves, keep it up...proud of you
Diskhate
I'M ROBERT ROMINBERRY.
I love watching you play these shitty games. Usually at work when I'm eating in, I'll put on a comedy show and watch that while I eat. The last few weeks now I think, I've been watching these videos and they honestly make my afternoon.
Graphics remind me of N64 games. Also, why did they feel the need to have a long quest for the sword, why not just start you in the castle, with the sword, and fight your way out to the exit to the king??? Have these developers ever played a video game before?
Oh my god, when he was jumping for the oil, I was like "this seems like a place where people would quit", but lord.... it was about halfway through the video.... Jim, you are too patient.
The funny thing is that there is no autosave in the game, so if Jim wanted to continue playing the game, he would have to start from where he last saved the game, which was when he got that oil from the top of that silly shelf. Amazing level design lol
So far - Unearthed, Guise of the Wolf, Rambo the Video Game, Deus Ex the Fall, Desert Gunner, Dark Shadows, and the list goes on with it being only the first quarter of the year. What the hell is going on with video games this year?!?!
People are actually defending this on Steam, saying "oh well it was basically made by one guy" (apart from the music which was made by 10 different people). Seems like people will defend any old shite these days, I've had shits that were more entertaining than this and I'm just one guy too, give me money.
Cave Story
record em and sell em. maybe youll make some money then mate
This.... this is hell. This is how hell will be to the sinners.Repent now, before it is too late!
John Marston didn't. :(
i think even satan would be offended if his hell would be portrayed by this.
is the oil in a mountain dew bottle?
Here's a tip for one-person game devs: Adjust your ambition. Don't make a project that's too ambitious for one person to usually make. Unless you're _really_ good at game development, your project will either end up as a pipe dream that never got past its concept stage, or it will end up like Dark Shadows here.
+sockpuppetkingdom
I agree. It's much better to make a small but polished game than a big unfinished lackluster one. Also, 3D games are hard to do right; much better to start off with 2D games to learn the ropes.
it's great that the first person you see has to tell you, that you love the person who you are supposed to be saving.
When an RPG asks you to look for mundane shit like keys and oil you'd expect the world that you have to travel through to get them to at least be populated with interesting stuff to see and do in the meantime, see the Fallout serious or the Elder Scrolls or Dragons Dogma or Dark Souls or anything half decent. What's with all these games coming out on Steam, it's as if they all looked at Day One or 2012 and thought, "Yeah looks good, get me a slice of that, repackage it and ship it out", some of these games aren't even early access, they're full games. I often say that games are subjective, down to ones personally tastes and opinions and that most games aren't factually good or bad, that most games will have an audience that loves it but man it's hard to see that with games like these.
It's a common misconception that such games prevail these days - there have ALWAYS been a ton of shit games around for decades.
Mind you, it is easier to get public attention if only briefly, partly because of the ease of finding true feedback. In the dare I say, olden days, it could be nothing short of a pure gamble.
This game is a prime example of the sort of game which prevailed in the early 80s - a game where someone had learned to code proficiently, and thought "hey, I can make games", and decided to bash together a workable engine, and even a company, overlooking the simple fact that they have ZERO talent for making a game, and indeed what a game is - fun.
Why such people keep making the same old mistakes of old is frankly embarrassing.
Daniel Linger Oh I know and I agree with you, it pisses me off when people say that so and so decade or generation was better for games, when there have always been good and bad games, oh and good and bad business practices too, the crash in the 70's and the crash in the 80's are enough to prove that.
This reminds me of hearing stories of people making crappy ZX Spectrum games and games for similar computers at the time or the countless bootleg or unlicensed NES games that were made and put into circulation.
I agree, if we can put antiquated design philosophies behind us when it comes to difficulty and the like, I don't see why we can't avoid stuff like this, all it takes is Steam, Valve to take responsibility and do some quality control. Mind you this shouldn't be there to scare off every one man developer, because sometimes single individuals can produce great games.
Ryan Morton A couple of points - firstly there has only been one crash; in the 80s.
Secondly, I disagree there should be much in the way of quality control on Valve's behalf. All they need to do is prevent the sale of broken games, although even they are covered under consumer laws for places such as us in England and Europe.
Daniel Linger Nope there has been two, a minor one in the 70's, 1977 to be precise; it came near the end of the first generation of consoles due to the influx of Pong consoles, this lead to a change and the start of the second generation of consoles where Atari became big with the 2600. The other was in 1983 at the end of the second generation of consoles, this was due to a high volume of poorly produced games, lack of respect from other industries and parties and a flawed distribution oh and arguably Atari being a shitty company but that's just conjecture, this crash lead to the third generation and the rise of Nintendo with the NES.
I don't see how your second point differs from my own, I said that Steam needs quality control but then you said you disagree but then go onto say the same thing.
Ryan Morton Ah fair point about the Pong influx - it was minor though, so it does tend to get overlooked (plus it didn't really affect us in England).
No, my second point was an elaboration. I disagreed with PART of what you said.
This is like watching someone's slow descent to madness.
Still waiting for the "army of evil" i guess haven't seen a single monster from that "army" in the first 28 minutes of the video.
I love the James T Kirkesque line delivery from that guy at the start. I get a very Unearthed feel from this game.
When Jim Sterling laughs, we all laugh.
for some reason my favorite part was when jim said; 'i certainly hope we get the action going along soon, so we can fight the monsters in their scary get up.' XD
This is what you got(back in the day) when your pc wasn't strong enough to play Oblivion.
"oh my god they killed the king I must rescue my sister".... bruh
I don't know why but after seeing this video I had the sudden urge to own this game and now I have a migraine from the disgusting FOV. Thanks Jim! :D
Lost it at 18:37 when Jim tries to get the oil.
Oh dear, this game is great for all the wrong reasons.
Watching this video one thing keeps going through my mind "It helps to 'ave a map". This looks like it MAY be worse than Guise of the Wolf
The skeleton laughing at the end - it really needed an 'IN ME POWER!'
Plot twist, the blood stains are still on the screen even after quitting to your desktop.
I doubt the Sinister Blade of Noxus could be kidnapped to easily...
"Textures and Skins by ..."
Someone who decided to pull his/her name off this project?
Graphics: 🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽🚽/10
Gameplay: 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩/10
They took all the weapons. As he holds a sword and shield. What.
You suffer wonderfully, Jim Sterling.
That torch looks like a burning piece of rebar
So, before the game even properly begins, you have to get a key to get a torch to get oil to light the torch to get a key to get another key to get a sword. Before the game begins. I can't even forgive it for literally being Conwy Castle.
There seems to be a common theme with these awful games whereby developers make these really large areas full of models, characters and assets, but then don't put anything in them. Like open woods that allow you to walk wherever, but your target is an axe imbedded in a tree stump...over there somewhere. Or like this castle where you're looking for two items, but they've put in rooms and stairs and courtyards and *nothing* is signposted.
I'm surprised you didn't have to get a key to unlock the gate to leave the castle.
There actually was a really small, hard to spot key that disappears when you approach it.
How come this shit gets green lit on Fcuking Steeeeeeaaaaaaam!!
Because there's nothing saying it can't be on there. It's free reign for whatever group of cretins vomits their game on to steam for a ridiculous price when compared to the quality of the product. Like a game that's barely even playable and the developers are like "yeah it's $30 for early access but we'll totally have more stuff in it soon we swear".
Steam is just a store brah, Gamestop is full of shovelware.
Steam isn't some curated pinnacle of artistic merit. It is a store - they stock what they are offered.
Daniel Linger Point taken. But the way they are doing it right now is totally fucked up. It's like going to some random supermarket into the games section where you have to climb over hundreds of boxes of.. X Gunner, Farming Simulators and... Japanese Schoolgirls vs.Tentacle Zombies just to get to the one game you were looking for... Just because they simply toss their shovel ware on the floor. Hell, Thief is almost already kicked off the front page and that isn't even one month old. And btw pretty much the only AAA title on the new release tab right now - the only one with a decent budget.. out of 100 titles! That's not an ok thing for your local mall to do. But for steam it's alright? Yeah, bullshit. I'm fine with having shovel ware on steam.. but DON'T put them on the main page where it's shoveling away the games that devs put some real effort into. The only thing that's missing right now are thousands of Flappy Bird clones flooding steam. You don't want that, me neither and even valve should be smart enough to realize that this will certainly damage their reputation quite hefty in the long run. 9 years on steam, 250+ games and this is the first time I am that pissed off with Valve. Steam is an apocalyptic mess and Valve needs to fix that ASAP!
Xytr3x Ignore the shitty games, get the good ones. Pretty simple if you ask me.
By the way, sorry I'm too months late.
NOT THE TAXES! DONT TAKE THE TAXES!!!! ;_;
ther was a key there u could see the round part sticking over the edge of the desk.
"I must get away and rescue my sister! If you recall, you are in love with her."
If you look closely you might be able to see one whole polygon on the screen
I planning to play Dark Souls 2 tonight but Jim Stirling's self-flagellation was unmissable.
Reminds me of Guise of the Wolf for some reason.
Nightstalker Gaming this game was probably inspired by Guise of the Wolf. You can recognize the majestic design decisions. Shame that they didn't put instant death traps near the keys.
The first combat encounter had me laughing so hard I nearly cried. This game is a masterpiece of awful design.
Indies are most definitely the future of gaming
I'd still rather play this than Gone Home.
Perkustin You can play gone home?
Sweeping crap.
Indies include Valve themselves, so how's that analogy work now? What about Level-5 who make the brilliant RPGs, predominantly on Playstation?
You're making the all too often flawed assumption that indie means shit or small game. It doesn't - it means one thing only - the status of the developer's business and that they develop free from major publisher input and assets.
Daniel Linger um...it was a joke
+daniel Linger whooosh
The...the sound design...It literally sounds like kitchen knives and pots and pans getting smacked. I like to use the "pots and pans" thing as an analogy for sound design but I've never seen it literally used for sound design.
I normally have a good sense of direction in videogames, even just watching someone play them I get an idea of where is what, but here I seriously feel lost.
omg they killed the king wtf
The monsters took all the HD textures!
That loading screen with the wipes was just too amazing... and by amazing, I mean campy.. and by campy, I mean terrible.
The worst part about this game isn't the tedious key-collecting. It's not the poor graphics. It's not the confusing level design. It's not even the bad voice acting.
It's that there wasn't even a single appearance by Barnabas Collins. :V
"Alright sir, we have the loading screens done, they look great so far." "Alright good, How much did it cost?"
"Uh... " The boss looks at the amount.
"Holy shit! You idiot! Now we don't have enough to make the game!"
"Wait a minute, we were making a video game?" :l
the game has a fov slider!!!!
TB would love this game
Shinobu I think TB would get another cancer from playing the game.
rangingaway92 hay that could be a easter egg! after ten hours of play you develop a brain tumor!
Love that pic man.
It's funny how they literally just pulled the camera back, exposing the end of the arm models
19:53 etc. "This is the pits"
Watching this is literally, the most frustrating thing I've ever experienced. The only thing that even comes close was repeatedly trying to enter the apocryphal code in the original Tomb Raider on the Playstation that everyone claimed made Lara Croft's clothes come off.
The little story blurb kinda sounds a bit like the beginning of DLC Quest. Things just keep being tacked on as if to show you why the antagonists are evil, because the game itself probably has no subtle explanation for it.
"That Bad Guy just stole Princess MacGuffin! You have to rescue her!"
"Also, he murdered your uncle! You must get revenge!"
"I think he might have peed in the town's water supply too!"
However, DLC Quest was being comedic with it, while this seems to be doing anything but.
A first person hack-and-slash made with the sensibilities of a point and click adventure game... nice.
It's no Dark Messiah... :/
"Various weapons will be available. They can be found in different levels."
Recently, I had my mind blown by stuff that does not even manage to be "bad". This. I like how you're speechless.
The king died because Jim stole his sword.
game of the year material right there folks.
Man Oblivion has aged more poorly than I thought.
This game is so beautiful, in 97, I used my time machine and I can attest to that.
I’m getting more uncharted feels from that intro music
Dark Shadows! Monsters in Disguise!
Dark Shadows! More than meets the Eye!
That's all I've got.
I really think the game should be titled Dark Shadows: The Quest for More Fetch Quests.
"You can use all 3 mouse buttons now" ... but ... my mouse has 5 buttons?
ive just found your channel, and i love it!
this game though, all i can say is that you have the patience of a saint. its fucking terrible.
+Sad Onion
I'd like to direct your attention to his TWO HOUR 'playthrough' of Mountain. Maybe have it running in the background.