How to Get Over a Dance Phobia, PART 2: dancing will FREE you
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- Опубликовано: 21 ноя 2016
- Dance is a healing journey you need to go on-- ESPECIALLY if you are self conscious enough to have a dance phobia.
If you are self conscious like I was, your body is basically frozen, and you are a prisoner in it. You can't just loosen up and dance like everyone else. What's more you can't experience life like everyone else, because your body won't let you...it's too scared and too stiff.
Dance will fix that though. That's why your subconscious is telling you to DANCE and get on that dance floor and conquer your fear.
Dance will PUSH through your frozen body and melt through the stiffness and fear you have accumulated from all the mean things people said to you and all the dumb mistaken mean things you said to yourself causing you to be incredibly self conscious.
OH YES, I completely understand as I was probably one of the most self conscious people on the planet for a time. There was a time I was so self conscious things began to seem unreal and I learned it was a thing called depersonalization disorder, where people feel "divorced from their own personal self by sensing their body sensations, feelings, emotions, behaviors and etc as not belonging to the same person or identity." How is that for ultimate self consciousness!!!!
I needed the healing power of dance more than anyone! But if you can't dance, you NEED to dance too.
How will dance heal you? In order to improve you will need to break through different mental challenges and confront and find a way to conquer your fears. Dance provides the perfect method to do it all and all dancers must overcome these challenges. I see the stars on dancing with the stars struggling with the same dance challenges---to free their emotions, take up space, be powerful, be sexy, etc etc.
All this to say, I am rooting for you people with dance phobias. And know that you have this phobia because you need to free yourself. And you will. Like I did. And I am still improving.
I forgot to say the quote I wanted to say at the end:
"I loved best my students who raged against their fate because when they finally succumbed to their greatness they had the fire of hell in them."-Arthur Rubinstein (I think).
Basically, the more you FEAR dance, the better dancer you will be when you finally break free. You will have the fire of your struggles in you.
Love you my shy peeps!!! comment below with any questions or any way I can help. 
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You have no idea how much I needed this.
“The more you fear dance, the more you need to do it”
Do you have a fear of dance you want to get over? Tell me more. I'm wishing you so much joy, happiness and success on your dance journey
I am 27 years old, I have struggled with being comfortable with dancing for most of my life. I think I’m traumatized because my mom told me I couldn’t do it when I was younger so I have always been afraid of it now. It was hard growing up because throughout high school and college I would make excuses or never truly let any of my friends see me in dancing settings. There have been a few times that I can recall that I was able to be present and enjoy the moment. And it has been getting easier the older I get, as I just care less about what others think. However I still hold back a great deal. And i don’t want to. I have such an admiration for my friends who can let loose and enjoy themselves fully. I have just always had problems with self esteem and fear of embarrassment. I really want to overcome this fear because I think that I could one day be an alright dancer. I just need to get out of my own way and stop overthinking everything.
I relate totally. thank u for sharing ur story.
As a musician who listens to and plays jazz, funk, R&B, afrobeat, hip hop, etc, I often have the extreme urge to GET DOWN. At the same time, I have that bodily disconnect that you are talking about. So instead of getting down and funky, I stiffly bob my head up and down like the vanilla hipster that I am. I really appreciate you for posting these videos and I plan to conquer this situation head on. Thank you for sharing your life experiences!
Yes! The power is inside you! You just have to unlock it. You were born to be a dancer! Seriously. U are an artist...now u have to find a way to not stifle the art inside u and be brave enough to do it in public. please let me know how it goes and any updates or plans! I'd love to hear.
Sounds dope
hey, any updates? i have the same condition.. this video is very encouraging
I can’t even dance in front of a mirror by myself idk what to do but I deeply desire to dance.
you need to get over this. if you deeply desire to dance, you will be an incredible dancer and you will find pure bliss in dance. Do you live in NYC or LA by chance? If so I have an amazing place for u to go to learn to dance. Also, can u say more about why u can't dance in front of a mirror by yourself....or do u just mean u look awkward or feel awkward doing it?
I live in nyc
I feel awkward and I don’t necessarily know what to do I’m not sure how people calculate what they will do next I can make dance moves out of thin air
I can make music videos in my head but can’t get my body to do it I guess I’m not in tune with my body
I totally understand as I used to feel the exact same way. I just moved from NYC after living there for like ten years. The very best dance studio in all of the world for learning how to dance is there-- it's called sheila kelley's s factor. GO! It is life changing. If I hadn't gone I would NEVER have experienced the feelings I have of being able to really dance! You basically get to make your own music video every time you are there as you bring in your own song, your own costume, and you freestyle your own dance...no do not worry cause this does not happen in the beginning (after I think about 2 months they start this) and everyone is going through it together and everyone feels totally awkward at first...but they have the best way of slowly easing you into it. they take away all the fears of "performing" and "knowing what to do" and instead tell you to go inwards...it's in a dark room with NO mirrors and all women....i really really hope u try it cause u sound just like me and I got SO much from it. Your body is "frozen" because ur a sensitive person and your body kinda shuts down from one too many people telling you who u really are is too much or shameful or wrong....your body tries to protect you and keep you safe by going stiff and you lose your natural flow....you choke back all the true emotions that give u a lot of power and charisma in ur life...same thing happened to me. this studio slowly coaxes that back out of you until you feel more comfortable to come out of hiding so to speak....
Yes, you Just say what i need to listen... The worst in my case is that i'm graduated as a professional ballerina But i don'T like the way I dance. Or is not the dance style that best fit on me... In any case I'm always afraid about dance alone or show any movement. That really Hurst. Thank you so much.
that is so fascinating that a professional ballerina would still have insecurities about dance. Not sure why i never thought of that tho cause it totally makes sense. I once read a similar thing about a professional pianist who was so well trained in classical music but when her friends asked her to play something for them improvisationally, she panicked and realized she couldn't play anything that she hadn't memorized. Just because she was a pro didn't mean she had been encouraged or taught how to express herself. She now teaches how to improv on piano tho so happy ending. SO i guess in ballet they never encourage you to do much personal expression? You should totally try s factor or pole dance! Do you think you will?
Thank you for this
I couldn't stop crying watching this. Thank you a lot 💚
I'm extremely touched. Which part did u like and do u still have a dancing phobia or did u once have one?
@@mynonleatherlife around 4:50 I guess, and I'm just realising that I have a dance fobia. The crazy thing is that yesterday I danced freely by my self for the first time and right after that your video popped out in youtube. I was just realising all the things you said and watching your video was just at the right time. Onces again thank you a lot!
@@anibalaviles3705 Ok that's amazing that right after you danced freely for the first time my vid popped up. Please keep me updated on your progress. And please keep dancing and don't let your phobia stop you from overcoming it and dancing. On the other side of a dance phobia, are some of the most, if not THE most, profound and amazing experiences I've ever had in my life. If you have a phobia, you more than other people NEED dance and need to dance and are perfect for dance!!
Really like this. How can I contact you to discuss this further
Thank you so much
Relatable!
Hi! I have dance phobia and I'm 30 years old. I always felt jealous of people who can just dance at parties. I would dance alone and imagine myself dancing in the dance floor.
I know this video is old but this made me realize so much!
I hope I'm able to get a reply, it would really help if I could truly express it.
u can overcome this in so many ways. u need to overcome this cuz dancing is the most fun thing in life probably. it is as fun as it looks and YOU can do this. Just gotta make a plan. You could take lessons, you could go with a friend who knows what you're about to do--face ur fear no matter how dumb you look--or just go alone and force urself to stay out there no matter how long it takes for the anxiety to go down. U could even watch a video about basic dance steps on youtube and just make a resolution to do step touch step touch untill u feel the anxiety dissapating.
@@mynonleatherlife You don't know how much your reply impacts me. Whenever I'm in a setting where the "main" event is dancing in the dance floor, I'll immediately tense up. I'll be sitting quietly in my chair as I see everyone have a blast. Occasionally someone would invite me to dance but I'd just immediately shut that down. I do envy the expressive ones, the ones who seem that they can dance anywhere, anytime. I've been bullied in highschool which affected my self-esteem big time. I feel that my life is being run by self-preservation. I feel like I'm in a corner somewhere, somewhere dark, while other people seem to shine so bright. I want to shine and live...I want to dance to my heart's content.
yea i felt exactly the same way. No joke. I totally understand how it feels. I used to be extremely self conscious. I couldn't even walk accross a room at one point without an extreme feeling of every moment being watched. I was very shy with very bad social anxiety and never danced. But now I dance all the time. It is definitely possible to break thru this and i would bet BIG money that u will end up LOVING the freedom of dancing. Do u have any ideas yet for how u will break thru?
Please link part 1
The good thing for me is that I don't need to dance, I have the phobia, I have the complete ineptitude, I have the complete clumsiness, I have the social anxiety, I can do without having something else to worry about. So I don't do it. Simple.
I don't accept that. I had the phobia, the complete ineptitude, clumsiness, MASSIVE social anxiety...and yet I ended up loving to dance...one of the most profound experiences if not the most profound i have ever experienced in life is dance...i urge you not to give up on yourself if you have any inkling that u might like to try it. Do you ever have that inkling or do u just have no interest?
@@mynonleatherlife Never really had the inkling, I don't need to dance nor do I want to, I wish I could overcome the social anxiety but that is now what it is. I've fought with it for long enough to know it's not going to stop getting in my way so who am I to argue with it. And no it's not something I have ever had an interest in really. But then it's not my sort of thing and I am a bloke after all.
@@alif8884 you can get over social anxiety. I fought with mine for decades too. I recommend working with marni penner, a social anxiety coach who got over her extreme social anxiety. She is great. I worked with her and she helped me a ton. You can find her on fb. I've tried so many different things, she is the best. I hope you don't give up and get all the way down to the root of it...it is possible.
Fantastic
For Eastern the philosopher's their body is a temple, mine is a derelict greenhouse. Friends that i have mentioned this to are ok and want to help but they have no connection with the concept, it is a weird idea to them. I have spent the best part of a week in dance city Glastonbury fest to kick it, But that was with the aid of booz mushrooms ketamine ecstasy and god knows what else.Im pretty sure i had a good time but no lasting break through my phobia. Out of necessity (and with majic luck) but now choice i an 12 years abstinent from any mind altering subs.
So I've philosophized about the cause of my fear, If i get in a fight i worry about how stupid my moves look even if im getting a beating, but i would rather get in a ring nacked with mike tyson than dance in public, and i don't like dancing on my own either, it feels stupid and demeaning. I might have identified the child hood development of it and significant points but so what! then i come to the conclusion i have more pressing veils to lift and i don't need to practice my escapism. but the subject wont lie down completely. I was born (allegedly) in 1962.
As with many of significant blocks to clarity the cure began with the resonation of the malady, a true recognition, which i feel I just felt with your marvelously realistic video
thank you very much for your comment. Self consciousness......I had it so bad too. Now I am way way way less self conscious. You need to go to a place where no one knows you, preferably very dark, and simply get on a dance floor. You can youtube a simple dance step to do. Simply repeat that step till your anxiety goes down from 10-0. That is the first step in getting over your dance phobia. Do you think you could do it? Let me know!!!!
Do I talk to a shrink to get over the mental block or do I take lessons? When I'm alone I can move, but when there is a dance floor in public I get physically sick because I know someone is going to ask me to dance.
Marc Leon my method is you should go to a club where no one knows you. It will be dark. Go on the dance floor determined to make a fool of yourself and keep dancing till your anxiety goes from 10-1. Once you do that you can start learning some stuff from RUclips or taking lessons but the most important thing is u get on the damn dance floor and break your fear cause you don’t need to be good or know what you’re doing tho it can ease your anxiety a little... but there really are no rules. So the important thing is just getting the courage to look stupid and not know what you’re doing and Be ok NOT looking cool or suave or excellent.
That second part of your comment is why I do not put myself within a thousand miles of anywhere with a dance floor, or even the chance of having a dance floor. It's a hole in the ground I'd rather avoid.
In my country, girls always comment about their dance partners.
I never had a phobia for dancing. Just let go and dance.
Ah so the secret is to never have had the phobia in the first place...
As far as back that i remember, i started breakdancing and popblocking at age 5.
Stop showing off, we have the phobia 😢
what if I don't feel the rhythm? :(
you don't need to feel the rhythm to dance at a dance party. But if you are doing salsa or ballroom or some formal dance style then you can improve your rhythm a lot overtime by taking lessons. But you definitely don't need excellent rhythm to enjoy dancing and be allowed to dance. you are allowed to dance off the beat or to undertones of songs and just do what you feel maybe tapping into something else other than rhythm. Do not let this stop you. Rhythm is not important for free form dancing!
@@mynonleatherlife it's comforting and encouraging to hear. I'll try giving it a go. Thank you!
Thank you. I’m looking forward to just letting myself express who I am through just how I move. That’s the difficulty I have… who am I? I’m still getting used to being me