I hear different things..even a priests saying to ask what God want but here we are saying to just hone in on our natural desires...which is really refreshing
I think it's a cultural thing. It depends on the child. If you want alot of kids and are responsible. But as you said dating is for marriage. My daughter started dating maybe courting not sure what to call it. But first serious relationship being exclusive at the age 25, 26. The guy 28. Both have a rich faith. They are now 10 months dating talking marriage. I have been advised engagement is coming up October November. She did go through healing, lots of discernment talking to so many nuns and priests and the sacramental beauty of marriage before she started dating. I am so proud of her. Happy sad. Still processing, but have worked hard to let her go.
I’m the same age as Liam, and I’ve never had a boyfriend (or social media). I’ve always had guy friends, and I think just being open to seeing the opposite sex as our brothers/sisters in Christ helps us to create holy relationships. I definitely do not think I am ready to date yet.
I think 16 is totally fine for simple dating. I don't think dating is just for marriage. That puts waaaaay too much pressure on young people. I saw this at Franciscan where my daughter attended. It became SO fraught with stress and pressure. Not suggesting tons of casual dating but it's like first steps of just getting comfortable with the opposite sex in a low-pressure environment. Obviously, lots of limits on those situations to keep them safe, but it's fine to just get used to that first flush of romantic experiences and even know that this feeling doesn't necessarily equate to a long-term relationship. A good lesson to learn. I dated my now-husband of 36 years in high school but wow, that would have totally stressed us out if we approached it as, "you are auditioning to my spouse". Yikes! Catholicism, like God, trusts we can make good decisions within some basic laws but not that level of control or scrutiny. It's the way Catholicism, despite knowing about addictions, doesn't prohibit alcohol, smoking or gambling.
It's not about putting pressure on someone or yourself. It's about protecting yourself from making emotional attachments to people that aren't invested in your long-term future. It is truly just a waste of your time and emotional investment. Being vulnerable and opening yourself up to people that only see you casually is a set up for heartbreak. I've been fortunate to meet adults later in life who did have this knowledge taught to them and approached dating the way these two ladies speak of. Their marriages are what we want, but very few prepared for it. I met a man who would not kiss any woman that wasn't his wife...as in he literally saved his first kiss for his wedding day. 😮 I was so opposite of the friends I have made now and I completely see the wisdom and protection their choices gave them. I want my children around people like this. The world had everyone thinking it's okay to kiss anyone, break up multiple times until you "find the one" while disregarding all the damage and baggage these broken bonds produce. If I could have been my mother to my 16 year old self, I would have said, "Only hang out in groups with boys. Never alone. There's no reason to be alone with a boy anywhere. You are built to attach emotionally and their hormones are at an all time high at this age. Protect yourself and him from being hurt and disappointed. When you feel in your heart that you are ready to give yourself to someone, that is the time to allow your heart to open up to a man whose intentions are to get to know you first. If there's any pressure to perform, audition, or lower your standards to make him happy, then he is not the one. You should feel no pressure from him. The right man will wait for you and build up trust with you. He will respect your boundaries and see it as a gift for his life." 🎉 😇
@@Ana_Cecilia615I totally agree with you I come from a culture where people don’t really date unless they’re looking for marriage and it’s totally normal we don’t feel the pressure. Our divorce rate is also lower. I will say though I feel like people feel more pressure TO DATE in the west and like you said you might have the occasional person who would court and not get too attached but I think the general rule is once you date someone especially girls they become emotionally invested unnecessarily. I think being carefree and having fun without being emotionally involved prematurely can really help with self esteem and confidence in the long run especially in a relationship where you don’t have baggage.
As you said it's 36years ago, today things and different and low pressure environment are no longer applicable or safe again.. Things have changed and appropriate measure must be put in place, dating for marriage is now the only safe way.
I think teaching our children the purpose of dating and how to view the other sex is very important especially for boys. To first be friends and protect the girls heart. Overbearing mothers will push their sons away and in the opposite direction. Don’t be a mom like this.
Define dating? Mother Mary was about 15 when she became the Mother of God. It is better to marry than to burn (the Bible). I think 18 is a good age to marry while the woman is at peak fertility (18-22). Science.
Really like the discourse on dating. It comes across as openness to God working differently in everyone, versus a one size fits all
I hear different things..even a priests saying to ask what God want but here we are saying to just hone in on our natural desires...which is really refreshing
That just made me cry! Beautiful
Definitely not beginning in middle school like so many American parents foster and encourage.
I think it's a cultural thing. It depends on the child. If you want alot of kids and are responsible. But as you said dating is for marriage. My daughter started dating maybe courting not sure what to call it. But first serious relationship being exclusive at the age 25, 26. The guy 28. Both have a rich faith. They are now 10 months dating talking marriage. I have been advised engagement is coming up October November. She did go through healing, lots of discernment talking to so many nuns and priests and the sacramental beauty of marriage before she started dating. I am so proud of her. Happy sad. Still processing, but have worked hard to let her go.
I’m the same age as Liam, and I’ve never had a boyfriend (or social media). I’ve always had guy friends, and I think just being open to seeing the opposite sex as our brothers/sisters in Christ helps us to create holy relationships. I definitely do not think I am ready to date yet.
I think 16 is totally fine for simple dating. I don't think dating is just for marriage. That puts waaaaay too much pressure on young people. I saw this at Franciscan where my daughter attended. It became SO fraught with stress and pressure. Not suggesting tons of casual dating but it's like first steps of just getting comfortable with the opposite sex in a low-pressure environment. Obviously, lots of limits on those situations to keep them safe, but it's fine to just get used to that first flush of romantic experiences and even know that this feeling doesn't necessarily equate to a long-term relationship. A good lesson to learn. I dated my now-husband of 36 years in high school but wow, that would have totally stressed us out if we approached it as, "you are auditioning to my spouse". Yikes! Catholicism, like God, trusts we can make good decisions within some basic laws but not that level of control or scrutiny. It's the way Catholicism, despite knowing about addictions, doesn't prohibit alcohol, smoking or gambling.
It's not about putting pressure on someone or yourself. It's about protecting yourself from making emotional attachments to people that aren't invested in your long-term future. It is truly just a waste of your time and emotional investment. Being vulnerable and opening yourself up to people that only see you casually is a set up for heartbreak. I've been fortunate to meet adults later in life who did have this knowledge taught to them and approached dating the way these two ladies speak of. Their marriages are what we want, but very few prepared for it. I met a man who would not kiss any woman that wasn't his wife...as in he literally saved his first kiss for his wedding day. 😮 I was so opposite of the friends I have made now and I completely see the wisdom and protection their choices gave them. I want my children around people like this. The world had everyone thinking it's okay to kiss anyone, break up multiple times until you "find the one" while disregarding all the damage and baggage these broken bonds produce. If I could have been my mother to my 16 year old self, I would have said, "Only hang out in groups with boys. Never alone. There's no reason to be alone with a boy anywhere. You are built to attach emotionally and their hormones are at an all time high at this age. Protect yourself and him from being hurt and disappointed. When you feel in your heart that you are ready to give yourself to someone, that is the time to allow your heart to open up to a man whose intentions are to get to know you first. If there's any pressure to perform, audition, or lower your standards to make him happy, then he is not the one. You should feel no pressure from him. The right man will wait for you and build up trust with you. He will respect your boundaries and see it as a gift for his life." 🎉 😇
@@Ana_Cecilia615I totally agree with you I come from a culture where people don’t really date unless they’re looking for marriage and it’s totally normal we don’t feel the pressure. Our divorce rate is also lower. I will say though I feel like people feel more pressure TO DATE in the west and like you said you might have the occasional person who would court and not get too attached but I think the general rule is once you date someone especially girls they become emotionally invested unnecessarily. I think being carefree and having fun without being emotionally involved prematurely can really help with self esteem and confidence in the long run especially in a relationship where you don’t have baggage.
As you said it's 36years ago, today things and different and low pressure environment are no longer applicable or safe again.. Things have changed and appropriate measure must be put in place, dating for marriage is now the only safe way.
Cameron this is random, but are you wearing a shinola watch? I’m from Detroit 🥰
I think teaching our children the purpose of dating and how to view the other sex is very important especially for boys. To first be friends and protect the girls heart. Overbearing mothers will push their sons away and in the opposite direction. Don’t be a mom like this.
❤❤❤🧸🙋🏾♀️
Define dating? Mother Mary was about 15 when she became the Mother of God. It is better to marry than to burn (the Bible). I think 18 is a good age to marry while the woman is at peak fertility (18-22). Science.
Sick