how to be elegant - the only advice you need

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  • Опубликовано: 14 июл 2024
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    Drawing from her personal experiences and encounters with people, Elle asserts that elegance transcends appearance and cannot be confined to a specific aesthetic or social class. She emphasizes that true elegance lies in the ability to make others feel warm, welcomed, and at ease, rather than solely focusing on external appearances. By shifting the focus from superficial criteria to genuine human connection, Elle challenges listeners to rethink their understanding of elegance. Exploring the definition of elegance, Elle acknowledges that while the concept may seem generic, she proposes an alternative perspective that reframes the mindset surrounding elegance. She recommends a book titled "How to be a Lady" as a valuable resource, despite not fully aligning with all its teachings. Specifically, Elle highlights the book's emphasis on making others feel at ease and welcomed, which resonated with her own understanding of elegance. Moving on to the realm of fashion, Elle explores the current trends associated with elegance. She acknowledges the prevalence of online fashion content that portrays elegance through neutral colors, luxury-inspired designs, and high-quality fabrics. However, she cautions against the notion that elegance is exclusive to a particular social or wealth class. Instead, Elle argues that elegance can be embraced by anyone, regardless of their background or financial means. Elle concludes by reiterating that true elegance is a way of life, extending beyond mere style of dress. By embodying the principles of warmth, welcome, and ease, individuals can achieve their desired goals and attract people who align with their values. She encourages listeners to embrace elegance and start incorporating it into their daily lives, emphasizing that it is not limited to a select few but is accessible to everyone. Ultimately, Elle empowers her audience to pursue their aspirations and embrace elegance as a pathway to personal fulfillment.

Комментарии • 205

  • @AjwaB23
    @AjwaB23 9 месяцев назад +1172

    Personally I like to dress up, it’s just a part of my personality. If others feel bad because I’m dress up then that’s a sign for them to start dressing up too.

    • @PreppyPrincess777
      @PreppyPrincess777 9 месяцев назад +216

      I realized in this podcast that I’m in the wrong circle. I need to be around those who are at ease with dressing similar to me.

    • @therealmanifestelle
      @therealmanifestelle  9 месяцев назад +131

      thisss👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

    • @Babybunnyxox
      @Babybunnyxox 9 месяцев назад +49

      @@PreppyPrincess777 Stop, I feel the same! I was clearing photos last night and saw one of me and friend from over a year ago.
      I wasn’t even overdressed, I was simply well dressed. It was woman VS teen in terms of outfits. She was wearing what it’s only okay to wear if you’re still 16.
      If I had opened my eyes in the past, I wouldn’t be awkwardly trying to exit the friendship (for multiple other reasons) right now.
      We would have simply drifted away towards likeminded people by now! Not to mention the envy some of these women suffer from, which makes the “friendship” impossible! When you look “better” they try to tear you down.
      I hope you encounter only CONfident and self assured girlies from now on babe! Wishing you the best!❤

    • @401chel
      @401chel 9 месяцев назад +37

      i do the same too! my friends used to tease me for dressing up but as time goes on, they realized that they’re the ones who are actually underdressed and started making an effort whenever we hangout. because i’m not the one who’s feeling embarrassed for being underdressed, it’s them.

    • @maeduss
      @maeduss 9 месяцев назад +3

      9:21

  • @bootsmade4walking
    @bootsmade4walking 9 месяцев назад +780

    I agree! As a black women, my mom always told me to go back and look at archival footage of black folks at the March on Washington and other civil rights marches. Most of those people were poor (bus drivers, maids, garbage collectors, etc.) BUT they lived their lives with SUCH dignity. They dressed elegantly and they lived their lives with their head held high. Elegance =/= wealth!

  • @NimeetaA
    @NimeetaA 9 месяцев назад +1114

    doing an "elegance" video in a casual hoodie and preaching like nobody's business is a top-tier work of art. thanks Elle ☺️

    • @Ihavemadeit999
      @Ihavemadeit999 9 месяцев назад +10

      Hahaha love this comment. Love her fr❤

    • @erobinson5942
      @erobinson5942 9 месяцев назад +9

      I picked that up too 🔥🔥🔥

    • @wotifitwasyu
      @wotifitwasyu 9 месяцев назад +8

      Reeal! I was just about to comment this. She’s authentic and self assured ❤

    • @yanzi8543
      @yanzi8543 9 месяцев назад

      😂😂😂

    • @mpazinambao2938
      @mpazinambao2938 6 месяцев назад +8

      I feel like that hoodie looks elegant, to be honest.

  • @DominiqueFrancon
    @DominiqueFrancon 8 месяцев назад +431

    This video describes my mother. My mother was a young woman during the great depression. Despite her very humble childhood and poverty, mom was a soft, gentle woman who was the epitome of class and elegance. She never wore expensive clothes, and she only had costume jewelry, but she dressed herself up every day and fixed her hair and she looked adorable. She could start a conversation with anyone anywhere. Mom was a great listener and a welcoming hostess whenever someone came by her little apartment. Her apartment was decorated in a very feminine way, and was always clean and tidy. When my mother passed away, her funeral service was standing room only. She was a lovely and loving presence in the lives of all who knew her. She radiated joy and kindness. To me, she was the epitome of elegance.

    • @ETT329
      @ETT329 8 месяцев назад +17

      Beautifully said :) thank you for sharing

    • @cakesinthecity
      @cakesinthecity 8 месяцев назад +6

      Aww ❤

    • @squash6497
      @squash6497 7 месяцев назад +20

      This comment was pure poetry. Do you write regularly? I hope you continue to do so, as you have a gift for it. I can see and hear your mother through your words.

    • @DominiqueFrancon
      @DominiqueFrancon 7 месяцев назад +9

      @@squash6497 what a sweet compliment. Thank you so much. 😊

    • @sylviahunter-sr4is
      @sylviahunter-sr4is 6 месяцев назад +3

      Beautiful ❤

  • @VagabondAnne
    @VagabondAnne 9 месяцев назад +396

    Diana Vreeland, editor of Vogue, said, "Elegance is refusal." I took this to mean refusing anything that is not essential to who one is or wants to share. And when people speak of say, an idea or solution being elegant, it generally means that it is clever, and gracefully includes only the essential.

    • @therealmanifestelle
      @therealmanifestelle  9 месяцев назад +42

      I love this!

    • @aarongreenberg159
      @aarongreenberg159 7 месяцев назад +21

      In mathematics there’s a notion of elegance to describe a formula or proof that only says what is necessary

    • @squash6497
      @squash6497 7 месяцев назад +12

      ​@@aarongreenberg159Programming too. Just the right amount of code to make the process work. It reminds me of Coco Chanel's "Once you're dressed, take one thing off"

    • @rydiavalentine
      @rydiavalentine 8 дней назад +1

      That's why the most simple clothes are considered elegant. A simple black, long dress, is more elegant than wearing 870238 accesories and clown make-up, which is tacky. I do dress elegant AND tacky, though, depending of where I'm going or how I feel.

  • @AnikaAmlani7
    @AnikaAmlani7 9 месяцев назад +175

    "Instead of focusing on others and how we can make others feel warm, welcomed and at ease, we focus on what shade of beige is the most elegant" 🤣🤣🤣 I love your videos!!

  • @maymay.freitas
    @maymay.freitas 9 месяцев назад +157

    I was in fashion school a while ago, one of the most interesting things I've learned was that the people who don't seek the spotlight for themselves and bonded through the creative process were the best leaders of every brand.😊 the creative minds are not overdressed or judgemental, they flow between us and make us feel highlighted by ourselves cause they see beauty and inspiration everywhere❤

  • @Tinaablee
    @Tinaablee 8 месяцев назад +131

    I disagree on not overdressing. Overdressing just a tad will make people take you more seriously in every situation. It radiates confidence, just like confident body language. While I definitely want other people to feel good around me, as a woman it is extremely easy to be talked over/disrespected, etc. Overdressing is an extremely easy way to make people respect you more.

    • @ThetrueripaH
      @ThetrueripaH 18 дней назад +1

      It’s the same thing when women where blazers to assert power! Dress like the message you want to send

  • @katharinaharke6907
    @katharinaharke6907 9 месяцев назад +166

    The mindset shift is definitely true, I started my elegant transformation some years ago, not only my wardrobe, make-up and hygiene but also manners and an elegant perspective in total. You definitely get waaay more attention and recognition just by not typically overreacting like everyone else does. But - as people are super thirsty for attention and craving your presence I needed to build way stronger boundaries and walls to protect myself, not gonna lie.

  • @RachelLidya
    @RachelLidya 9 месяцев назад +129

    I can’t for the life of me go “underdress” and blend in with my surroundings, i’ll be totally miserable🫠 and dressing up really helps my inner self to handle life more positively everyday

    • @udachlivy
      @udachlivy 9 месяцев назад +8

      no same

    • @shreyachandrakar761
      @shreyachandrakar761 6 месяцев назад +10

      Same.. I always dress up for myself not for others.. so i really dont know where i fit in this elegance situation..

    • @mahidassanayaka232
      @mahidassanayaka232 5 месяцев назад +1

      Me too

  • @renialatrice
    @renialatrice 9 месяцев назад +58

    We also can't ignore the euro centric beauty standards that come with the elegance content online even from other POC

    • @MH-pj9qk
      @MH-pj9qk 9 месяцев назад +15

      Like what for example ?

    • @adjoahossou454
      @adjoahossou454 7 месяцев назад

      @@MH-pj9qkhair is a big one

    • @dw7896
      @dw7896 6 месяцев назад +24

      ​@@MH-pj9qk I've never forgotten that lady who was calling brown lipliner non elegant and was using almost exclusively examples of black women...woo that was a time

    • @pamayapaya
      @pamayapaya 3 месяца назад +7

      Like curly/coily hair been seen as unprofessional or messy in comparison to straight hair

    • @ThetrueripaH
      @ThetrueripaH 18 дней назад +1

      Dresssing elegant depends on your culture in. In my culture flowery long dresses are extremely elegant and being girly is seen as elegant and good mannered

  • @Shrilaraune
    @Shrilaraune 7 месяцев назад +14

    I've read a couple of really brillant comments here and together they have heleped me articulate elegance:
    Elegance is dignity, either held within oneself or extended to others. Elegance is refusal of anything that is not essential to that dignity. It is elegant only when it includes the essential.
    I haven't finished this video yet, but just for this new core principle, it gets a 10/10 from me.

  • @angierodriguez4729
    @angierodriguez4729 9 месяцев назад +48

    I watched a video long time ago from Jamila Musayeva in which she shares some of her views on what being elegant is about and something that resonated with me a lot was that in order to be elegant you must get rid of any sentiment of envy that you may have completely, because envy is a feeling that makes us ugly and unhappy and it shows in our interactions with other people, and this explanation reminds me of your video about femininity, where you say that a woman must be at peace with herself and the choices she has taken in life. I believe all this to be so true, and my mom is the best example I have, she is not a wealthy woman but she is extremely kind, welcoming and warm, people gravitate towards her because her personality is so sweet and easygoing, whenever I am around her I feel at peace and welcomed but she doesn’t hesitate when it’s time to set boundaries either, family members have often tried to take advantage of her generosity and kindness and once she stops them they have started rumors about her because they cannot longer benefit from her so they try to devalue her image, but have been unsuccessful in doing so. I believe elegance shows very easily when people show kindness, manners and consideration for others, by being respectful and overall feeling happy with our life choices, to me all this content of women eating a burger with silverware or wearing heels while saying someone else is trashy for wearing a pair of converse are not elegant at all, the impression they give me is of someone who is desperately trying to appear wealthy, someone who is elegant just exists in their reality without bashing other people who dress differently and a lot of content creators just fail at realizing that.

  • @southernrosetiadee
    @southernrosetiadee 9 месяцев назад +48

    It never fails: despite saying, “Use discernment” and imploring viewers to allow room for nuance, ppl heard you say, “underdress” and immediately leaped to defend their sartorial choices 😂 It is possible to dress well while still radiating a warm, inviting energy. Underdressing is all about the energy of ease and warmth, projected through your attire and into the spaces you occupy. Clothing can either help or hinder that projection, but it’s nuanced and nowhere near being a one-size-fits-all situation.

  • @agota1252
    @agota1252 9 месяцев назад +53

    I found you a week ago, and now I watched all videos a few times ❤️ what you sharing is eye opening

  • @caroliinec
    @caroliinec 7 месяцев назад +8

    Bestie, i was raised with this mindset and i care too much about it now that its become people pleasing 😭 would greatly appreciate your advice on people pleasing because bestie it is EXHAUSTING

  • @veronicachic
    @veronicachic 9 месяцев назад +61

    I don't know, I still refuse to succumb to the athleisure hivemind ethos. It's just way too drab seeing everyone in the same hoodies and sweatpants 24/7. I'm nostalgic about fashion from other decades and centuries and I'll never change that! There's just too much beauty in clothing from the past to only partake in sweatpant culture. Most people are interested in my clothing style and it often sparks conversation even!

  • @alohakeakua6749
    @alohakeakua6749 6 месяцев назад +7

    It’s so true - the right people and right network connections is all that matters in your life.

  • @Ivana_Ivanova
    @Ivana_Ivanova 9 месяцев назад +36

    I love watching elegance content. Sometimes I notice how it gets focused around dressing only in a certain way and behaving almost robotically, aspiring to look flawless and the focus being on yourself at all times.
    When I saw the notification, I raised my morning matcha in the air as it is time for the support group to gather❤
    'True elegance is making others feel walm, welcome, and at ease.' - I love this principle! And the whole viewing of elegance as a way of living, and how our life is changed by the people we connect with so we should be 'servants' to them if we want for them to do the same and multiply the abundance in our life.
    ❤Servant mindset❤ is making a comeback in this episode.

  • @lifebyaprilb
    @lifebyaprilb 9 месяцев назад +23

    I agree with what you said, I think elegance is acting appropriately in certain situations and making people feel comfortable, not necessarily being in a dress or in high heels ❤

  • @sunkissedchaos
    @sunkissedchaos 9 месяцев назад +10

    Elle in her hoodie & speaking facts is elegance by definition (in my book)
    it all starts within ;)

  • @oliviasmit2657
    @oliviasmit2657 9 месяцев назад +12

    I think it’s a balance between being true to your own taste and paying attention to how that makes others feel

  • @sher0712
    @sher0712 9 месяцев назад +33

    I agree with everything except the overdressing. I’m a firm believer on everybody should wear whatever they want to but for me, I’m definitely dressing up everytime because it makes me happy, when I look good I genuinely feel good. And even on the rare occasions that I dress down I don’t feel weird or uncomfortable when people dress up more than me.
    Being uncomfortable with that is a sign of insecurity. You are not responsible for how other people feel when you decide to dress up more (or less). You are only responsible for how you feel. If you feel your best when you look your best, go all out. If you feel your best in minimalistic styles do just that queen, the point is to be authentically you. If your friends try to make you feel bad for dressing up or dressing down, then are they really your friends? 🤍

    • @tnt01
      @tnt01 7 месяцев назад +2

      100% you can't please everyone.

    • @adjoahossou454
      @adjoahossou454 7 месяцев назад +6

      it’s like wearing high heels and a fur coat to a park picnic for a child’s first birthday. Instead of focusing on celebrating the kid, they will all be looking at you. That’s the message here. Thinking all the domino/residual effects of that. What’s not elegant is often times also not practical.

    • @adjoahossou454
      @adjoahossou454 7 месяцев назад

      “your destiny is brought by people”
      mic drop!!!!!

  • @isanva
    @isanva 7 месяцев назад +14

    the most unclear part about all of this is how not to become a people pleaser while being a servant, making people feel warm, welcomed and at ease

    • @eneleda
      @eneleda 7 месяцев назад +4

      i feel like its all about balance and boundaries, as long as you know you yourself what you’re comfortable with so you dont let people overstep your set boundaries and take advantage of you. too little boundaries will give a kinda desperate vibe; that youre willing to be subservient to anyone. at the same time, u cant have TOO many boundaries because if u begin to be bothered by everything everyone else does to you, youll just give off a nasty vibe. so be in the middle of this: know yourself and then once u start feeling so confident in knowing yourself, this confidence will just radiate onto others and therefore invite others towards you, thus u are giving a welcoming vibe. and the way u welcome these people - whether it be a little gesture like a smile or making those people feel heard - is how you come off as a warm person. from then on, if u nail the welcoming, warming vibe, you’ll be a person who anyone / majority can be at ease with. its hard to say ‘anyone’ in this case because part of gaining confidence within yourself is also acknowledging that not everyone will like you. and it is perfectly fine and so important knowing that not everyone will like you because that is how you protect your own peace, and that is how you dont fall out of the balance of being too much of a people-pleaser or too much of a people-hater.

  • @user-lb2bb1cd7w
    @user-lb2bb1cd7w 9 месяцев назад +25

    The vibes your channel gives is pure ELEGANCE 💗

  • @SaffyKaze
    @SaffyKaze 9 месяцев назад +21

    Well sometimes being elegant means raising the standard and being a shiny snowflake to remind others that they can achieve the same for themselves in a society that tries to dictate the current trend. If I want to look a certain way for an hour and then switch so can you. ❤🎉

  • @rydiavalentine
    @rydiavalentine 8 дней назад +1

    I was developed as an elegant person because of health issues with my back. I was taught how to properly walk, sit, get down & up, watching my postures. I even had to walk with small sacks of rice on my head carefully, so they wouldn't fall down. I was taught all of this in the rehabilitation area, in the hospital in which I spent half of my life as a patient. If you are able to do all of this and be an educated person (having manners, being cultured, etc.), you'll be perceived as elegant by others, even if you're a minor and wear alternative clothes (which was my case).

  • @Amyglowsup
    @Amyglowsup Месяц назад +1

    Elegance looks good on everyone - love that line

  • @senoradeloscielos
    @senoradeloscielos 8 месяцев назад +4

    In another video… it was said like charm is about how the person makes the other person feel “warm” or “blushy”… & that’s very pure & wholesome… the only thing I want ppl to feel when talking to me 😊❤

  • @ruelongcha
    @ruelongcha 9 месяцев назад +14

    adding some ✨nuance✨ to dressing for the vibe… it depends on the setting. i live in the suburbs of the midwest, and almost everyone here is middle if not upper middle class, yet most dress like they walked out of a dumpster. I never dress super bougie, but I don’t mind elevating the spaces I’m in (restaurants, shops, etc.) by looking presentable. when I’m dressed nice, people brighten up and compliment me, and it overall just brings the mood up. an example of NOT elegantly dressing for the setting is when my narcissistic mother wore a ball gown to our quiet wedding celebration, which we repeatedly stressed to her was a casual affair. everyone else, including myself as the bride, was in casual sun dresses, and she was in a sequin covered floor length gown which got so many side eyes😂

    • @ilianafotiou1006
      @ilianafotiou1006 7 месяцев назад

      why are you emphasizing the narcissicm so much??

    • @ruelongcha
      @ruelongcha 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@ilianafotiou1006 what?

    • @ilianafotiou1006
      @ilianafotiou1006 7 месяцев назад

      @@ruelongcha in your story a about your mum

    • @ruelongcha
      @ruelongcha 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@ilianafotiou1006 ok, and what about it? i don’t understand what ur asking

    • @ilianafotiou1006
      @ilianafotiou1006 7 месяцев назад

      @@ruelongcha considering a ball gown to a wedding being narcissistic is not quite right. People are brainwashed by social media into pathologizing things that are quite normal.

  • @aster_gray
    @aster_gray 9 месяцев назад +15

    yes !!! i love this. i really do hate to see girlies follow content that is made based on shame. oh you can't eat like THIS and be elegant, you can't talk like THIS and be elegant, you can't dress like THIS and be elegant. fuck that, elegance is a mindset. i love emphasizing how you make others feel vs. how you present yourself.
    i think the only thing i don't 100% ascribe to is the overdressing, because i don't even dress that crazy, just dresses most of the time, and I have a coworker who is CONSTANTLY asking me "why are you so dressed up??" and it's irritating every time, like i'm literally just existing in a dress lol. I think that sometimes people feel intimidated when you put a lot of effort into your appearance because they don't put a lot into theirs, which is fine, but i don't want to dim my light just because others are trying to, we have to stay true to ourselves to a certain extent. but i think the importance is in dressing a certain way because it makes YOU feel good and makes YOU feel elegant, not because you are trying to fit a certain ideal other people have set for you.

  • @kanay_norie
    @kanay_norie 4 месяца назад +2

    I’ve just discovered you recently, and I wished I discovered you sooner😍 I love your message: don’t take crap as a woman, but don’t be arrogant, either. ❤

  • @LysippeLee
    @LysippeLee 7 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you for this!!! I see so many videos focusing on how to look elegant. With the attitudes and demeanor of society today, it's like putting lipstick on a pig. The most important part is your behavior.

  • @lintang3232
    @lintang3232 9 месяцев назад +4

    The elegant mindset is the most inportant one. Thank you for this class❤

  • @nikitaamerie
    @nikitaamerie 11 дней назад

    I completely agree, well done.. a gracious attitude and making others feel more comfortable and welcomed can be seen in both wealthy and non wealthy backgrounds. This is your strongest asset. I met many people who are wealthy but lack elegance and think they can switch to being elegant easily but it can only last so long before they're truly their rude selfs and others pick up on it very quickly. Most influencers of elegance have none at all.

  • @NatashaS7
    @NatashaS7 9 месяцев назад +1

    I love how well-read you are!

  • @DJC819
    @DJC819 9 месяцев назад +1

    Thanks Elle, I really needed this.

  • @syuree
    @syuree 9 месяцев назад +4

    Girl I so so love your videos you're just so confident, beautiful, perfect and speak so well also supporting all the girlies here~! I am so glad I discovered your channel, you are my guiding angel to femininity now ❤

  • @royalistkellyjones5560
    @royalistkellyjones5560 8 месяцев назад +2

    You hit the mark. "Well said!!. I have that gift, to make people feel warm, welcome and at ease..

  • @politaaaaa
    @politaaaaa 9 месяцев назад +1

    Everybody is glowing up here 👏🏻😌 Thank you, bestie!

  • @fardawsayusuf4852
    @fardawsayusuf4852 9 месяцев назад +1

    You look so cozy and warm ✨✨✨ Thankyou for this 📚📚📚

  • @TiffanyinOklahoma
    @TiffanyinOklahoma 9 месяцев назад

    This is so important and Ive never heard anyone else explain it like you!

  • @NidzShah-ps6kr
    @NidzShah-ps6kr 9 месяцев назад +1

    I love it when you say "hey bestieeeee". I look forward to it ❤️

  • @AyaEgbuho
    @AyaEgbuho 9 месяцев назад +3

    Elle you're a gift. Stay UP!

  • @belleragazzaa
    @belleragazzaa 8 месяцев назад

    Gosh this video's really helpful. I had just recently found this channel and you're right, this WAS the only video I needed regarding elegance.

  • @PettyBlue1
    @PettyBlue1 9 месяцев назад +1

    One of your best videos, period

  • @kausha7135
    @kausha7135 3 месяца назад +1

    I actually love that you're wearing a hoody to further drive your point home. I haven't watch Anna Bey in awhile, but I recall in one of her more recent videos, even she said she's reassessing what it means to be elegant and that she wants to focus more on elegance as a trait than an aesthetic. Side-note: I'm happy for her, but have to admit I'm a little sad, too. I watched her channel as a source for fashion inspo.

  • @groolchick2
    @groolchick2 9 месяцев назад

    Great video! Your level up content is original and relatable.

  • @darlene_1998
    @darlene_1998 9 месяцев назад

    I love popflex too! Thank you for the video 🩵

  • @sakuraqueen1734
    @sakuraqueen1734 9 месяцев назад

    Excellent video, and great mindset to have!
    Thank you!! ❤

  • @aleksandralewinska8742
    @aleksandralewinska8742 9 месяцев назад +31

    I have a tip for the girlies how to not be too overdressed when you hang out with the girls. Always agree on dress code before the meeting. For example, all of you wear dresses 👗 or high heels. In that scenario you can all be dolled up ❤

    • @jibarabicha4853
      @jibarabicha4853 9 месяцев назад +38

      Am I the odd one who doesn’t take it to heart when someone is dressed better than me? I dress for my mood and the venue/activity. So when I step out, I am feeling and looking the way I wanted to no matter what. Coordinating outfits feels very highschool unless it’s a special event

    • @MoonshineBeauty
      @MoonshineBeauty 9 месяцев назад +22

      ​@@jibarabicha4853couldnt agree more. Its also a bit indicating that you always have to fear that others don't accept or like what you are wearing or even envy you...nope, wouldn't let my life dictate by that a bit!

    • @nelacaro57
      @nelacaro57 6 месяцев назад +6

      My girlfriends are at different stages in life. I can doll up if I want because I have the time for it, but some of my friends are married, one has kids. Believe me, when we hang out no one cares about what the other is wearing. We have different personalities, one prefers comfy, other chooses to dress up. Agreeing for a brunch just sounds too childish.

    • @MoonshineBeauty
      @MoonshineBeauty 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@nelacaro57 agreed. I don't get it either. It's just as if I have to fear the jealousy of my own friends. Maybe don't hang out with them in the first place if that were an issue

  • @theekshna
    @theekshna 9 месяцев назад +4

    make others feel warm, welcomed and at ease.

  • @intannurfatihahkhairuddin8427
    @intannurfatihahkhairuddin8427 9 месяцев назад +6

    Thanks for the words and advices, sis elle ❤❤❤

  • @Ihavemadeit999
    @Ihavemadeit999 Месяц назад

    Just talking about elegance makes me feel calm

  • @kgs2280
    @kgs2280 5 месяцев назад

    “Elegance looks good on everyone.” I love that line.

  • @alohakeakua6749
    @alohakeakua6749 6 месяцев назад

    Impeccable attitude as always Bestie sis . You’re incredible !
    I always had so many women that were jealous of me in my life that I always SHYED away from relationships with them bc I had so many BAD ones who broke my heart… even women in my own family!
    It’s truly an incredible Girlie Support Group. God Bless You Always

  • @Tallulahswonderland
    @Tallulahswonderland 7 месяцев назад

    i absolutely love, support and resonate with this information, values and content! helps me realize that the reason i’ve been drawn to elegance and some of the “girl, era” aesthetics and content, despite generally not particularly being involved or interested in trends, elegance and my pursuance of it goes hand in hand with being more feminine, learning to receive, have healthy relationships, enjoying a blessed life and positively impact others… as throughout my journey of transformation from traumatized, reckless young rugrat, to more fulfilled, refined, healthy woman i’ve had trouble being receptive to what is good and healthy as it has been in opposition to what my familiar and baseline had been conditioned to be. hope that made sense, thank you so much for this video. the best way i could’ve been introduced to your content!!

  • @userunknowns
    @userunknowns 2 месяца назад

    Yes and I’ve always lived by this quote: “Elegance, for me, is the manifestation of sophistication and tranquility of the soul, knowing how to beautify your life inside and out. To emanate grace, love, compassion, and wisdom that will touch those that surround you.” - Sylphantom

  • @Maria_Svetlana8847
    @Maria_Svetlana8847 9 месяцев назад +1

    I agree on everything plus overdressing . It has Huge advantages irl event or casual (in right places)

  • @prairiefaerie
    @prairiefaerie 9 месяцев назад

    Right when I saw the hood, I knew it was Popflex. Loved your advice. Thank you ☺️

  • @nikkihorvath3515
    @nikkihorvath3515 9 месяцев назад

    Thanks for the vid angel ❤

  • @87genia
    @87genia 9 месяцев назад +1

    I love Popflex! 😊

  • @1024sofia
    @1024sofia 9 месяцев назад

    she is right girlies! listen to Elle!

  • @Neurodivinityxo
    @Neurodivinityxo 23 дня назад

    The hoodie is still a serve. This video aged like fine wine. "elegance is the gateway drug to servant mindset" 🤯

  • @shanaesmith112
    @shanaesmith112 8 месяцев назад +3

    For everyone saying that if others feel under dressed or over dressed thats a "them" problem you missed the point of the video. Its okay if YOUR GOAL isnt always to be elegant. What your goal might be is to be "classy" not elegant. Or "put together'. Elle is saying that when your goal is to be elegant it is to be cognizant of other's and if youre not looking for that at this moment (or ever) your goal isnt to be elegant - its something else. Which is just fine. Get your bag however you want - but the goal of this video is for you to get what you want from others - so being the main character who dgaf isnt the purpose of this video.

  • @spacebar9733
    @spacebar9733 9 месяцев назад +5

    Im so glad ur here. I stopped watching femininity content because it was so ignorant, outdated, or robotic. Youre one of the few on youtube i watch.

  • @crystalnelson314
    @crystalnelson314 9 месяцев назад +9

    Manifestelle qt gray hat hacker vibes 💕

  • @Kovchegshtein
    @Kovchegshtein 9 месяцев назад

    Just love your voice it`s sooo soothing

  • @helloes6236
    @helloes6236 9 месяцев назад +4

    gurl, I need your book recommendation list, I've been writing down the titles that pop up from time to time, but it would be nice to have some go to list!

  • @angelcoyote9802
    @angelcoyote9802 9 месяцев назад +1

    Yours is my favorite show.♥️

  • @betsygirl488
    @betsygirl488 День назад

    Your restoring my faith in finding strong female friendships, ir is possible. As per universe sent you at exactly the right time x

  • @ujwalraina
    @ujwalraina 9 месяцев назад +8

    Make more videos on topics like elegance ,femininity ,dating♥️

  • @ThetrueripaH
    @ThetrueripaH 18 дней назад

    My English teacher used to call a girl in my class elegant/graceful because everytime she saw her sheld be smiling and expressive ( this was a school with a uniform she didn’t wear makeup and her hair was always in a ponysail) she used to say she could always know how she felt through her face and that she was polite to everyone plus she said she would never give one word answers she always had something to say and that her strong moral code made her seem extremely well raised everyone at school loved this girl to pieces (Mashallah)

  • @ipseum6907
    @ipseum6907 7 месяцев назад

    I think the focus of elegance is how a person carries themselves and not on the material matters. People tend to follow a variety of "rules" about fashion, house furnitures, etc., but elegance, as you said, looks good in everyone because everyone in all social class can. They're neat and graceful in the way they present themselves and without the need to stand out from the crowd, and they hold and speak their values with dignity. I think that's also why elegant people gives off a warm aura, because they don't see others as competition or a threat to who they are. It's hard to achieve natural elegance but it's possible.

  • @dolcisima___
    @dolcisima___ 5 месяцев назад

    Very interesting topic, i loved your point of view

  • @user-ji2tm8fq3k
    @user-ji2tm8fq3k 9 месяцев назад +1

    Queen posted let's watch

  • @halosunnah5446
    @halosunnah5446 8 месяцев назад +1

    thank you bestie for this video!! I agree that being elegance means not being vulgar. but I don't agree with elegance "guru" who said I have to have certain taste, certain style, certain hand gestures just to be considered elegance. no girl, I can wear my Jeans and casual walking shoes and I still am elegance. I don't want to complicate shit, my peace of mind is my top priority and being elegance should not be stressful and complicated. I will live my life with modesty and dignity, and gracefully mind my own business. this is the elegance I choose, and your video resonates well with me. love you bestie ❤️

  • @mirawann
    @mirawann 9 месяцев назад +1

    Elle could you pleaseee add to your Amazon storefront all the books you have recommended so far?? Need to read them!!

  • @tashlawson265
    @tashlawson265 9 месяцев назад

    great wisdom x

  • @Heyjennydee
    @Heyjennydee 9 месяцев назад

    Okay elle, so you were already my favorite, but the fact you quoted Stepbrothers just made me love watching you that much more 😂💖😎🏆 xoxo , from a spoile girlie in training

  • @sprite2555
    @sprite2555 9 месяцев назад

    goodness gracious I love your videos

  • @lovepurple9116
    @lovepurple9116 4 месяца назад

    💜From the deep side of understanding comprehension, Definitely well educated and very knowledgeable.

  • @JOYsmr
    @JOYsmr 9 месяцев назад +2

    Love the hoodie 😂 you can't realistically live a life of ease that these femininity gurus preach without one TBH

  • @SIMMIS_0316
    @SIMMIS_0316 6 месяцев назад +1

    Can you create a list of all the books you would recommend? Or maybe a playlist talking about them?

  • @user-dl5vm7gy5b
    @user-dl5vm7gy5b 8 месяцев назад

    My my my my she is so pretty ❤

  • @ruqayaal5889
    @ruqayaal5889 9 месяцев назад

    Queen

  • @curiousjuja
    @curiousjuja 9 месяцев назад +1

    Love this and love you 🫶🏼

  • @chiaramerlo9746
    @chiaramerlo9746 9 месяцев назад

    Popflex

  • @mercedesencinas9784
    @mercedesencinas9784 9 месяцев назад +2

    Love ur vids!! Would u make a time management vid? plss I need ur help

  • @noeliboeromaiorano
    @noeliboeromaiorano Месяц назад

    You are describing the crux of my life. I've always want to be this sweet child/girl/woman who is warming, welcoming and makes others sense at ease because as a social anxious, shy, introvert mess I love that kind of people. Do you see the problem here? I have to work out the courage to say hello to the neighbours/colleagues.

  • @splendidlife1176
    @splendidlife1176 9 месяцев назад +5

    One of the best channels I have found in 2023

  • @Ubi22
    @Ubi22 9 месяцев назад

    Hehe I luv tht ur reading French parenting books, so random but nonetheless inspiring ☺️❤️

  • @lllma___
    @lllma___ 8 месяцев назад

    I really loveeeeeee your intro.. I mean 😭😭😭❤❤❤❤

  • @ricepudding4809
    @ricepudding4809 9 месяцев назад

    love this 🩷, thank you!

  • @WildWomanAwakening
    @WildWomanAwakening 9 месяцев назад +8

    I so wanted to reject your take on this BUT you’re right. It used to bother me how people are a lot less open and warm towards me when I wear my hair natural (Afro) vs. straight.
    Sure, I’d get compliments but it’s typically followed by an awkward stillness after I thank them. I just didn’t get why my hair style influenced their behavior so much because most of them are generally respectable and well informed.
    I get it now. It’s not prejudice or discrimination so much as it is FAMILIARITY. Duh! Thank you 😊

    • @firstsunray
      @firstsunray 9 месяцев назад +4

      Honestly, your comment came at the right moment.
      I have 3C hair and I live in Germany. People compliment a lot on my hair but I do know that it is something exotic here. I was considering straightening my hair, just to feel more at ease myself (and maybe to manage it better).
      I am not very happy with the state of my natural hair now, to be honest. The dilemma I am facing is that even though straightening my hair would make my life easier in many ways, it also feels like giving up part of my identity.
      Once I straightened my hair and I was looking fine, but then I saw a girl with curly hair passing by and I admired her so much, I felt stupid for having straightened my curls.
      This situation was also a teachable moment because in a world of white people with blonde dull hair this girl passing by with her vibrant curls was like a highlight and therefore she got a lot of attention. I could see how people reacted to this in another perspective. It felt very special. People admired her and I am pretty sure that other girls wanted to be like her but a the same time, her uniqueness created some distance.
      Probably because of the familiarity factor.
      With me is a little bit different because I am not feeling confident with my hair lately, since it has not been behaving the way I wished it would. The expense products that I buy are not working the way I expected, my haircut is looking weird now and I am feeling a bit lost. I am always being patient with my hair and myself, but I feel tired already :/.
      Another difference between the amazing curly girl of the other day is that she was white and I am a black latina, have brown skin and where I live this is already another exotic characteristic.
      I don't know what to do. My relationship with my hair is toxic... I feel that I give so much love and attention to it and receive zero consideration back from it haha.
      Oh god, help.

  • @idunablack2592
    @idunablack2592 9 месяцев назад +3

    Girl, at this point you should write out all your videos into chapters and turn it into a book

  • @Foolescent
    @Foolescent Месяц назад

    Resume of the video: warm, welcome and at ease.

  • @prisibun
    @prisibun 5 месяцев назад

    My grandmother always told me she thought I was elegant. Same with other older ppl, and even some friends of my age. I didn’t think much about it until a few months ago… Me? Elegant? I’ve always feel goofy in a certain way because I’m much taller than the rest of the girls. But your video got me thinking further, thank you!

  • @shaunnarochelle
    @shaunnarochelle 7 месяцев назад

    interesting video, i think if someone dresses with beauty and creativity in mind in any situation i enjoy it, because that feels like it fuels everyone and not just them, as opposed to them just trying to look hot or wealthy, which is okay but like you said it doesnt have the same giving factor. a bit like a house that is more beautiful than the others around as opposed to a flashy mansion which is all about showing prestige but doesnt actually do anything for the street.

  • @sukithemoon
    @sukithemoon 9 месяцев назад +20

    I kindly disagree with the video… It’s kind of weird coming from you because I assumed you’re all for not people pleasing but at the same time you’re saying to dress down just so others feel comfortable. I can read the room and still dress classy according to the mood while others dress casually. I also think elegance it’s not mostly about what other people feel but more about how we behave, interact with others and present ourselves. Most people dress down or casually, so in that case we’ll always be dressing down because they’d feel insecure of me standing out.
    A hoodie is not considered elegant, in my opinion, it’s considered cozy.
    I think our generation tends to redefine the meanings of things that have been previously clearly defined just so we feel better about what we do or are.
    I saw someone saying one could wear sneakers, a sweatshirt and some sweatpants and still be classy visually, which is not true at all.
    Obviously, elegance it’s not just about looks - I agree we should all strive to become better people and making others feel good & welcomed, but I don’t think dressing down includes that. I actually think it can inspire people to present themselves as their best version.
    Just my opinion, please don’t take this as an attack or hate!