DISCLAIMER: Please refrain from making uneducated assumptions about an individual's diagnosis. You are allowed to express concern of whether you believe someone is faking or not, however, please refrain from leaving harmful comments regarding them. Autism is a spectrum. Everyone is different and exhibits different traits. You may or may not relate to these individuals and that is fine but do not assume that because you have traits that differ from them, they are not autistic! If an individual is proven to be faking or they have a negative reputation in the community, please feel free to respond to this post or private message me on my socials! Also for clarification: Autism as well as any other neurodiversities represented in these videos are on a spectrum! Everyone is different! Do not use these videos as a means of diagnosing yourself or even questioning your diagnosis! Everyone will have different experiences and struggles! You are perfect the way you are and do not define yourself because a lot of autistic individuals don't like a food but you do, or you like wearing socks compared to those who don't! Be yourself and accept that we are all different!
People can be really weird. Like, flowers are decorative. Paintings also. Spoons are for eating!!! I showed the spoon to my fiancé and she loved it. I had to make her promise to never bring anything like that into the house. I’ve had to stop her before from buying gold plated cutlery - just looking at them makes by teeth feel sensitive and exposed and uncomfortably tingly…
Remember, even neurotypical people are not okay working 40 hours a week. 40 hours a week is an inhumane amount of time to work, and expecting anyone to work 8 to 10 hours a day is insane. So, if you are neurodivergent, you really shouldn't feel bad for not being able to work full-time because most neurotypical people shouldn't even be subjecting themselves to that, but we have convinced ourselves that it's normal and the most productive. I believe studies show that most people shouldn't be working more than 3 hours a day, and definitely shouldn't work more than 12 hours a week. Any more than that is not only just inefficient, but it's also often going to be physically and mentally demanding for most individuals. So, don't feel bad and check in on people you know who work full-time because they are probably also not doing it easily because society doesn't put a person's well-being first when it comes to making profit for companies ❣️
Too bad that in our society you have to work 8 hours to afford living with somewhat comfort. I'd rather be exausted than live in terrible conditions eating low quality food
That’s the problem. Massive corpos are running this bitch, so it’s often expected to prioritize working over your own physical/mental health, it really fucking sucks
I have ASD and ADHD. I got diagnosed earlier this year (2023) at 27 years old. My therapist said that it seems like it has been a healing process and that’s honestly the best explanation of what it feels like to get diagnosed as an adult. Also, it’s a journey and a process to figuring out who I actually am and it feels really difficult at times but at other times feels so rewarding and healing. I hope the best for you on your journey to getting an ASD diagnosis. It’s helped me so much already.
Imagine if people said "everyones a little bit black" the way they said "everyones a little bit autistic". Like, imagine a pale ass redhead saying shes a "little bit black" because she has freckles.
totally get the point here and agree, but wanted to share that, as a black person, this does happen. i have genuinely loss count of how many times a white person has pulled out their Ancestry results to justify some backwards stuff they’ve said, and it’ll say
For me the analogy of you don't have a little bit of HIV or a little bit of cancer to also make the parity of physical health conditions and mental health equivalents if that makes sense.
Something the nd_psych person missed in the bigger picture of employment (and why Functioning Labels are so freaking HARMFUL) is the fact that it's not that we *DON'T NEED* to be diagnosed or supports. It's more likely that we're being missed with (Or in the case of my anchor-partner straight up REFUSED) a diagnosis, because we're highly masking (hence the absolute exhaustion afterwards) and don't 'look or act Autistic enough'. My partner can't get a diagnosis because his parents are both dead and so are most of the adult people that knew him when he was a child. We've been together for 14 years, I spoke to the psychiatrist that he was referred to SPECIFICALLY for the ASD diagnostics by his ex-psych who moved to a different facility, for almost TWO HOURS. At the end of him jumping through months of hoops, she said 'It's highly likely you're Autistic, but I'm just going to put Social Anxiety Disorder in your file because I can't talk to anyone who knows what you were like as a child.'. Like, what???? He's been highly masking his entire life because he saw what the psychiatrists did to his mother (who was Autistic, but overmedicated with psych meds that broke her brain) with new meds every other month. There's a lot more nuance and complexity to the situation. But I agree that the statistics are inaccurate, and it'd be nice if we could have them be at least *more* accurate than they currently are.
💯 I just got my autism diagnosis. I'm 28. I work 6 hour days 4 days a week and can barely manage anything for /me/ the rest of the time because I'm so tired. I still need accomodations, I'm just working myself into the ground out of necessity until I get them. I have a biology degree but I've worked in housekeeping, retail, factory, and front of house because no job means no home and no food.
I was looking for a comment like this. I agree about the statistic thing but her way of describing "high functioning" people with Autism irked me a little.
This makes me so mad. I remember myself as a child and I surely know better what was going on inside my head than my family. Why do they need to ask our families? Ask us, we have brains and memory! My family never thought my autistic traits were in fact autistic traits and my mom actively denies that I'm autistic. She would say I was a perfectly normal child. And I'm sure I'm not the only one like this. Prioritising the relatives' opinions over the autistic person['s opinion can be very harmful.
@@sunshine-dz6xj Absolutely agree with you 1000000% It's absolutely ridiculous and the infantilization of Autists is far too common in the psych field unfortunately. I'm sorry your mother is invalidating your experience. You know yourself better than anyone else ever could. You are valid
Hi! Just a PSA on a developing trend: High-Support Needs Autistics in the community have been requesting that we use *Verbal Shutdown* or some variation of *Semi-Verbal,* *Demi-Verbal,* *Speech Loss,* or the like to describe what we've been typically calling "going nonverbal." This request comes about because *Nonverbal* is used to describe nonspeaking autistics who do not use verbal speech, and it muddies the water (so to speak) for speaking autistics to describe our verbal shutdowns with a word meant for people who do not speak at all. That's all! Thanks for reading.
this is lovely, thank you! i will take note of this and start using the proper terms because i never knew how to describe my verbal shutdowns as anything other than "nonverbal".
Just recently realized I'm autistic at the age of 37, watching this, come across the one about nesting, look at my bed I'm currently nesting in...I have 8 blankets, 5 pillows, and two plushies! I'm loving this!
Oh wait what? Is that why I do this? I didn’t realize it was a thing. I just want my bed to be soft and fluffy. Husband’s side is pillow sheet typical velvet topped blanket. Mine is many pillows many types of fabric all fluffy, down duvet, faux fur throw, weighted blanket, the “softest blanket in the world” down mattress cover. Sheets tangle and hurt my skin so I lay on top. All the way as in the blanket is velvet and that’s my bottom sheet. And my Chihuahua… Now I can be like seee I’m not extra or dramatic it’s a real sensory thing that calms my nervous system
So anyone else just LOVE when you find a stranger you think is super cool and you want to get to know them but your messages sound creepy because you over explain in hopes you don't come off as creepy, delete the message, have a mental breakdown and just say "So anyway I'm Autistic" at the end? .... Just me...?
No Omg it's not just you 😆 I recently had an experience like that and let me tell you I was anxiously dying over whether it sounded creepy or too much, like... idk.
So, about the autistics having jobs thing, I am autistic and professionally diagnosed. I can only work part-time. I HAVE to work because I would be homeless if I didn't. I am forced to work. I don't have a support system to take care of me. If I don't get enough hours, I probably won't get to eat enough. I cannot stand working. I cannot handle my job. I go home every night either in intense physical pain or in a horrible meltdown. Not every autistic who works is "able" to. Sometimes, we HAVE to.
All of the public AIs that have come out that have been allowed to interact with people "naturally" have become racist just from the interaction. The ones I've seen lately have safeguards in place that don't allow them to engage in "controversial" topics. It's honestly sad because we'll never see any progress towards believable AI if companies are literally censoring them from their inception.
It does help those intending to use it as an effective tool to say, generate cover art for example. Say i wanted to use this site to generate a picture of something simple, like a dog. I could take a few of those images of dogs that the ai generates, then go to an actual artist, assuming i had the funds, and say, "hey mr./mrs. Artist, i had ai generate a few example images of a dog that i liked for a piece of cover art. Can you dress them up in your own style and i can pick out the ones i like?" And it goes from there. Ai generating art is not a problem in and of itself, assuming that we know how to, as the video said, use it correctly. You wouldnt use a hammer to try and solve an electrical problem!
Personally I think it’s just because we don’t represent autistic people in a diverse way. Media shows autistic people this way. It’s not that the ai is racist, it’s that we as a whole don’t have representation. It’s not even the agregations problem, it’s our own. White, cis, boys are the most common representation.
Also, with ai you have to be specific. It will give you a black trans woman who is autistic if that’s what you ask for, it’s just that when you only ask for an autistic person, it pulls the most common example. Also, it’s kind of weird to ask for that, just because well autism doesn’t have a look. Any image you ask for of a person could be autistic.
People are -ist and -phobic. AI currently just takes the input from what exists/has been created already. From a human. It doesn't have the intelligence yet to take into account everything which might exist.
That shell spoon, I have one very similar, and I use it occasionally for when I want to feel fun and fancy! Maybe for mac and cheese or some small pasta or rice :]
Just learned this is actually a sugar spoon. It’s used to break up the lumps to then scoop out, and it’s traditionally stored in the jar so it doesn’t end up in the drawer.
I love that. I have one and it just sits in the drawer. But I often have a favorite spoon I only use and I do a different type and shape when it happens. But now I want to make the unused sugar spoon my macncheese spoon ❤
To the speaker at 5:40 - Truth!!! I don’t believe there’s anything ‘wrong’ with us. We are the small minority with specific skills that would have been extremely evolutionarily advantageous back in the caveman days
She was spitting fire, man. I'd say not only are people on the spectrum more likely to survive in an apocalypse, a disproportionate amount are probably actively preparing to do so.
I don’t think many people understand the true importance of this comment whenever any RUclipsr doesn’t posting in a while. But I haven’t seen any comment asking people to take a break. it’s important to realize your limits and when you need to take a break. And remember if anyone is pressuring you into posting more often whether it’s someone you know or a random stranger on the internet, you don’t have to listen to them. This is YOUR channel. NOT theirs
I agree about the autism work stats. Im an autistic analyst! For 4-6 years in my field and thriving because of my strengths in pattern recognition. Sometimes a full shift gets really difficult but working from home and being well supported by my team has made it really enjoyable and sustainable
Work for me is the opposite. I need a full time job - same hours, same work pattern, same pay. I'm stuck in a part- time job and having a roster that changes 3 times a week - I can't build any sort I'd routine around (not to mention it's completely customer facing). It's killing me.... and that is how I got diagnosed at 39yrs old.
Odd... i work 8 hours as normal... sometimes a little longer. I do manual labour involvong plumbing. So using pickaxes and shovels to lay pipes and soldering copper pipes together. Setting geysers up in tight roofs, climbing down manholes getting dirty as hell and I do fine. Still tired and shit but that's because I just worked like hell. Just done chatting with some mates from school and spending time with family... reallh wondering then if I am Autistic. I do act strange i guess sometimes. But mostly i act normal... dont know
@@KDZ_Prime People react differently to stuff. Autism isn't one size fits all so maybe that kind of work is fine for you. For me though, my options in life tend to be working with other people and customers two things that drain me hopelessly and make me feel miserable and hate life. Glad you found a job and support system you feel good with
I'm autistic, diagnosed and I work and have worked since I was 16 or before, mostly janitorial positions, though now I work in a factory.. and not having to talk to customers has been a huge blessing
since this talked about working a good bit i think i can be of use. i work 12 hr shifts in a loud and busy environment (hospital) so im on the more extreme end, lots of sounds and smells and lights and everything is just very abrasive. for a bit more added context, on the other hand my sensory sensitivities arent quite as extensive as some of my other autistic friends and im very high masking. the most relevant thing i can say is that im very careful about planning multiple periods throughout the shift where i can isolate myself and have a break from everything, as well as knowing places nearby that i can "retreat" to if need be. i also cleared with my supervisor that im able to wear earplugs/small noise cancelling devices for parts of the day if need be, without even having to mention a diagnosis or anything of the sort (i recognize some wont allow this but its worth a shot). another very helpful thing, particularly if youre high masking, was actively allowing and encouraging myself to engage in larger stims at work, bird sounds, flapping, etc., where before i would generally restrict myself to things like chewing my cheek. i also think jobs where you can make pretty regimented task lists and times that are constant from day to day are heavily preferrable. obvious emergencies in my particular workplace can shake this up, but largely speaking im performing the same set of tasks at the same time each workday (and equally importantly taking my breaks at the same time). further, i prefer to set aside time before and after my shift when im at home to follow certain rituals, especially when working multiple days in a row. it still can be extremely taxing, especially if i ever work more than 2 days in a row, but its much more manageable now. also, anecdotally speaking a lot of my autistic friends that have difficulty holding most jobs work at pet shelters, i dunno if theres something special about that or if its just a coincidence but theres that. anyways hope this helps a bit. ciao.
1:37 There's such a thing as the Broader Autism Phenotype, and other traits or full disorders or syndromes that people might have that share many of the same traits of autism E.g.: SPD, BPD, AvPD, OCPD, OCD ADHD, Schizoprenia's prodrome, Sensory Processing Disorder, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, etc. And any one person can have more than one. My sister has NPD, MDD and Sensory Processing Disorder, they were initially investigating Autism for her instead and it makes enough sense
one of these videos (too lazy to find the timestamp again lmao. it was one of the ones about unmasking) made me realize that me "only showing autistic traits before i get diagnosed" is not actually "only showing autistic traits before i get diagnosed". its me feeling more comfortable to unmask now that i have some answers for the things i do.
Sometimes watching all these amazing people, who are so clued into their diagnosis makes me cry. I'm so grateful that they explain everything to me but also so sad that Im not yet at that level of self-awareness. I'm just so grateful for everyone who makes these videos. I hope one day I'll have the same self-insight. I'm having a bit of a vulnerable day today and I'm a bit cry-ish but I'm also comforted by these brilliant people. ❤
The thing the person said about “not being able to be a little but on the spectrum”, and that if you’re a little bit on, then your autistic- When i was younger, i was like diagnosed with being “A highly sensitive person” because I was a little but of everything, but not enough of those little things to fully be in one of the autistic boxes, so but now I’m like “well wtf?” bdhdhdh
If you're an overthinker and sensitive to certain stimuli, you're most likely autistic. No one understands your emotional motivations, and thinks you're unemotional, or you're being logical and everyone thinks you're being overly emotional. Oh, and communication. Neurotypicals suck at it.
For anyone who is wondering what the Silicone Valley Effect is, there is no good reason for it to interfere with an autism diagnosis, in fact it should back up a diagnosis if anything. That isn't to say that all or even most diagnosticians properly understand what it is. Basically the idea is this: autism rates in the silicone valley area are soaring thru the roof; the question is why. The best answer anyone can come up with is that there's all these adults moving out there for the tech jobs- many are on the spectrum and many more simply have high spectrum traits and a genetic predisposition to autism but are not actually on the spectrum- but they get together and have babies who are. In fact the statistics on spectrum kids being born specifically to fathers who hold jobs as engineers are just outlandishly high. So if you have a parent, especially a dad who is an engineer, statistically the chances of being on the spectrum are much higher than someone with a dad who isn't an engineer. If you have 1 parent that works in silicone valley, then your statistical chances of having autism go up. Then if you have 2 parents working in silicone valley then the chances go up even further. If your dad works in silicone valley as an engineer and your mom works there as a coder or a Dr for example, then your statistical chances of being on the spectrum are higher than any I've mentioned so far. If your mom works in silicone valley as a Dr or something like that and your dad works in silicone valley as an engineer and you have an older brother who has an accurate autism diagnosis then the statistical chances of you being autistic become the highest I've mentioned thus far. Now here's where it gets REALLY interesting- if both your parents are janitors in Texas but you have an older sister who has a correct diagnosis of autism, your statistical chances of having autism go up so high its crazy, I think just having an older sister on the spectrum brings you up to a statistical 80-something% chance of being autistic yourself. So when you put it all together- if your biological father works as an engineer and silicone valley and your mom works another high end or especially high tech job in silicone valley, and you have an older sister with a correct autism diagnosis, then the statistical chances of you being neurotypical are almost nonexistent. So in case anyone was wondering, that's how that works. I really hope somebody corrects whatever diagnostician tried to tell that guy he wasn't autistic bc silicon valley. Bc I can tell you if my Dr said that to me and I was in his shoes, they would have had to defend it scientifically to me right there in their office and they wouldn't be able to. And then I'd prob hire a lawyer to sue him bc if I [or my parents] could afford to live in silicone valley then I could prob afford a lawyer too. But honestly that Dr clearly didn't understand what he was talking about. [Tbf it is also possible there may have been some sort of misunderstanding/miscommunication- since I wasn't there idk]
5:19 I didn't realize this was an autistic trait. I used to make my bed somewhat look like a pet bed (if that makes sense). Like I would fold over the edges of the dooner and then tuck it into itself. I would then put my pillows around as well. I used to find it super cool and comfortable. But also exhausting to make when it fell apart, lmao.
It’s not. It’s a spectrum and we all have our own individual traits. There can be two people on the same ends of the spectrum, with completely different traits, behaviors, and personalities. Especially considering that the person in the video stopped doing the action, and is considering starting it again, it’s simply not. Autistic people tend to like patterns for security, for me it keeps me from thinking back on trauma, and her behavior in the video does not reflect any patterns. Not saying she doesn’t have autism, but I am saying that “nesting” doesn’t make you autistic. There are so many autistic people who don’t build nests or sensory safe houses. I never needed a nest because I could go to my room and close the door to feel safe and comfortable. As for why she made that clip claiming it’s the most autistic thing ever she does, it’s just for views! Heck, I have neurotypical friends who loved to build nests as kids and still do them to this day!
I wonder if the not smiling aspect has anything to do with the lack of expression that sometimes comes up with autism? Like, I know a lot of the time I take a picture it is one of two things, zero facial tone or a fake smile. Because it a controlled environment and I don't have anything else to give. While we do smile, and can often, a lot of the pictures are without. Not because sad, but just no need for forcing emotion externally.
it's not really a trait, but its something the person (who has autism) does and feels like its the most autistic thing ever they did. Don't use it as an actual trait to back up research if you think you may have autism.
@@ahseymania ritualistic ordering of objects is an autistic trait. Seeking comfort after stressful circumstances, usually in a cozy, weighted or pressurised environment is also an autistic trait as it's a sensory seeking experience which will remain constant. Nesting is an autistic trait.
Guys, I’ve been questioning wether or not I have anxiety or I’m autistic. On one hand I exhibit some traits of autism but on the other, I present basically “normal”. I feel like because I present that way and have an understanding of emotions and people I’m not autistic and just looking for attention. I feel like I fluctuate too much to be autistic, like I could be very social but very quiet some days. I don’t remember anything from when I was a child which leads me to believe I’m autistic. I’ve always been very bubbly until recently, in my adolescence. Im scared nobody will take me seriously due to my inability of being able to explain how my traits show. Im scared that im just being over dramatic.
i feel the same as you do. i think im autsitic so i cant really explain how but (possibly) autistics support (possibly) autistics!!! you go yipeeeeeeeeeeee
I’m self diagnosed autistic and I was informed dumping about autism to my bestie bc it became my special interest and while I was explaining why I think I’m autistic and how I’m mad that people keep denying the fact that I’m autistic she was just like “I don’t think your autistic” just casually and it makes me so friggin mad I’ve already tried to get diagnosed by telling my parents I think I’m autistic and they said they think I’m neurodivergent but not autistic and getting my experience invalidated multiple times hurts,
I am autistic but also privileged enough to work without many supports. I work a 60+hour week and every day is completely draining but if you work very hard you can push thru the thresholds holding you back.
I love watching these so much and I relate to them all so much it hurts. I havent been diagnosed with anything but I'm pretty sure I'm autistic (I've done a lot of research), and I love seeing these and feeling like I finally belong somewhere and have a whole community of people like me :) also, the person at 5:40 basically described my entire life-
About that 15% employed statistic. This is one statistic that's going to be overly affected by people who pursue a clinical diagnosis -- or have it pursued for them -- vs. people who are late diagnosed or self-diagnosed. I'd like to emphasize that it's not the case that there is an 85% unemployment rate for autistic people. It's the case that there was an 85% unemployment rate for people who had been officially clinically diagnosed with autism in a 2016 study in the UK. Other studies have given wildly different numbers. But this one is the one people and organizations point to in order to solicit donations to pity the poor autistic people. This differentiation may sound ticky-tack and petty. But what I'd like to avoid is a situation were autistic people are automatically infantilized through the misunderstanding of this statistic. Most of all, people who may have suddenly understood that they are autistic after the year 2016 should not infantilize themselves as internalizing the idea that they are unemployable. Even in terms of getting an autism diagnosis, not only was 2016 ages ago, it was also before the covid pandemic when WFH was normalized, eliminating at least one major issue autistics have with employment. I will die on this hill. Especially if I'm asked to go back into the office. You can just forget that, Sharon.
Well I can’t work, tried it, almost unalived myself. But I gotta eventually because living in dirt ass poverty is no fun. Still don’t know how I’m gonna do it but I can’t kms because surprisingly enough some people actually love me and I just can’t do that to them. Funny how it’d ironically be easier if I wasn’t loved, I’d have no attachments and I’d be able to just go in peace. But what can you do? Anyway, what were we talking about?
I love the bug analogy and pet black widow thing so much!! I need to do everything in my power not to infodump about my love of arthropods and arachnids but just know that I love this! I think the whole "the relationship is just changing what it looks like" is harder because its more ambiguous than the objective metamorphosis where the logic and purpose of the changes become immediately understandable. Humans can have too many factors with details like social cues you could miss versus the change of a superworm larvae walking backwards when scared to the adult darkling beetle secreting a foul-smelling substance when scared.
I keep seeing other autistic people say that when they drink it makes them feel "normal" I don't understand what they mean by that could someone explain? 8:40
I have adhd, but I don’t know if I also have autism. I worked retail stocking shelves. When in my own department, I would get it done way before the computer estimation. But when they would stick me in an unfamiliar department, I barely got anything done. I would work my dept the same way every night and I had it organized, but man, put me in a place where I didn’t have a routine, and I failed so hard.
1:38 it can't be that brains can be sorted into autistic and neurotypical that easily. Since autism is a spectrum, being neurotypical is also a spectrum of different brains, and there's got to be some overlap where people are "just a little autistic".
I work full time and i cant have any bit of a life because I feel drained all the time im fully burnt out and cry most days before work. Its why i am finally getting a diagnosis so i can receive proper help so i dont feel like i have to work full time. So i can take better care of my family and myself and not feel like im a complete failure on the financial side
3:20 yep I am certain that I am autistic but the reason I will not get a diagnosis is that doing so would jeapordise the security clearance I require for the work I've been doing for 20 years. I cannot imagine working anywhere else. I feel very lucky to have full time employment that suits me. It's not easy but with lots of solitude outside of work, living close enough to work that I can walk at least one way so I don't have to deal with a long commute, it's manageable.
9:01 this hit so hard 😢 I’m 27 afab and I was diagnosed with adhd in early 2023. I’ve suspected that I may also be autistic for a few years now. I went for an ASD screening about two weeks ago. I was told insurance wouldn’t pay for testing because I smoke too much 🍁 it sucks having to wait months for a screening to be turned away for one reason or another.
It’s fairly common for adds to smoke because we crave the dopamine high. I will say reading the Alan Carrs easy way helped me tremendously and when I don’t smoke I don’t even notice I’m not smoking. Don’t give up.
I just realised that as a (probably) autistic person, with probably ADHD, I was following the genius subtitles of the last video with the word, at the time when is said, is colored. Subtitles that were actually helping me to keep attention on what was saying. I don't need them for understanding the video, but it helped me so much ! Waw, I just discovered my neuro-diversity a new time ! (I am a french who tries to learn english... Did I make some mistakes in my sentences ?)
I work 40 hrs and I have ASD. So I think the reason I’m able to work is due to my workplace and job itself not being mentally demanding. It’s retail and I interact with customers but the days are the same so they feel structured and predictable. I also value financial independence and one of my biggest fears is not being able to take care of myself or be seen as incapable of taking care of myself by my family. I think due to my circumstances, cultural background (Hispanic, mex-ame specifically), and the environment I was raised in (work hard for what you want and never be financially dependent on anyone else), I’m in a position where I have no choice but to work but I’m able to make the best of it. TL;DR: I don’t have a choice and I’ve crafted a hyper specific lifestyle to work around that.
0:00 I love this spoon as long as it’s smooth because the waves make my feel like it’s being petted and it’s amazing (in my opinion) Also they’re usually pretty small and I like that
@@ahseymania Nice. Means I’m not stuck here being asked why I do things that I swear are just what everyone else is doing every day (why do you walk like that? Who speaks like that? Etc.)
5:36 omg me and my brother would do this when I had nightmares. I've been really looking into the fact I might be autistic and just extremely good at masking/mimicking the people around me.
I’m getting an autism/ADHD assessment on next Tuesday!! I technically already had it, but everything at that appointment was iq testing, so idk if it really counted. I’m excited to see the results, I think I have both but who knows!
Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗
I already don't like silverware because they are metal and I hate the feeling of metal on my teeth, I hate the feeling of metal on my mouth in general. But that spoon!!! That spoon was a threat to me. 🥲
5:29 I kinda wanna try this but I don’t wanna hurt my plushies feelings :( like what if I hurt them in my sleep (even tho I don’t move much in my sleep,but like what if?)
6:00 ish minutes in they're talking about hearing things to an intense degree and I really vibe with that in a super weird hard of hearing way. like I got tubes and I have countless boring hours learning how to exist in a world that doesn't give a fuck if i can hear or not and learning how to talk when i can't hear properly, my hearing is NOT good, but I still am able to use what I've got extraordinarily well, to the point I was going into audio engineering before disability and genocide kinda killed my future
The spoon at the beginning may look cute as a decoration, but I absolutely DO NOT want to use it. I can feel my lips, teeth, tongue and cheeks shrivelling up 😭😭😭😭 Also, as a soon-to-be electrical engineer, the guy who explained the AI thing was just spot on
So, I have a serious question. I know that autism exists on a spectrum, but what terminology would someone use to differentiate less-visible vs more-visible/stereotypical autism? Sincerest apologies if my wording could have been better.
Thank you for asking. I consider myself low-needs autistic at this time, but others might find that off-putting as well. It may be best to just say autistic.
@@reut0094 Thank you, i realize now the best option may just be to ask people individually and take it on a case-by-case basis but thank you for your input regardless 😅
I think if a person is less visibly autistic they are sometimes called high-masking, but I’m not sure about all the terminology English isn‘t my native language.
@@lexitaylor8131 I don't think there is established terminology for less visible/more visible. What you're looking for seems like it would generally be used to describe us from an allistic perspective-i.e., how easily we're _detectible._ Since the language we create is used to describe our lived experiences from our autistic perspectives, I don't think you'll be able to find anything that autistic people would be comfortable being called while also fitting what you're looking for exactly. Moreover, those of us who are high-masking tend to dislike being told that we "don't look autistic," and it would be difficult to disentangle any potential vocabulary from that implication. In other words, calling any of us "less-visibly autistic" no matter how you phrase it would likely have the effect of insulting us, no matter how well intentioned. Not to mention, the idea of anyone-but especially neurotypicals-trying to detect us outside of a clinical setting makes me feel uneasy given our status as a heavily marginalized group and what the nazis did to us. That being said, we do have some terminology that may be helpful for your purposes. For example, low-masking/high-masking as used above, low-support/high-support needs, and undiagnosed/self-diagnosed come to mind. Of course, as you alluded to earlier, not every autistic person will be receptive to all of these terms. In general, however, I would encourage you to consider whether one of those terms would be more apt for communicating whatever you are trying to say. If not, and all you are trying to say essentially boils down to "you don't look autistic," it would probably be best to keep that to yourself. Otherwise, here are some examples for how you could approach some situations where you might be inclined to label certain autistics less visible/more visible: - Instead of "people with less visible autism often go undiagnosed," consider, "the medical community fails to diagnose autism in many individuals." (less visible traits is arguably somewhat implied by the medical community missing them) - Instead of "autistics who have less visible characteristics of autism often do not get the support/accommodations they need." consider, "Being a high-masking/undiagnosed autistic means that people either don't see that said individual has greater support needs or do not believe them when they request accommodations." Thank you for asking and being willing to learn :)
@@lexitaylor8131 Oh! Y'know what... On second thought, there may be a perfect term for what you're trying to communicate: "invisible disability." However, I have an important point to make... Despite autism _causing_ me to be disabled, I personally don't consider my autism to _be_ my disability. This is because of the model that I use to understand my disabilities, the *_social model of disability._* If you're not familiar, the social model of disability understands disability as being an external problem rather than an internal problem. More specifically, the disability is caused by the societal barriers that arise from society being built without disabled people in mind. For instance, consider a "normal" and "healthy" person. While they would not be considered disabled in any way in whichever society in which they reside, they would suddenly be disabled if even a small thing were changed. Suppose that they were transported to an alternate reality where everything was the same except everyone could see infrared light, and suppose that this new society uses infrared range lights for traffic lights, infrared inks for traffic signs or all manner of printed text, etc. Because this person would not be able to drive or read without assistance, they would be considered disabled in this theoretical society despite not being back home. It is the same for us. Society is built for neurotypicals. It does not have us in mind. Therefore, we are disabled. If, however, society were to take us into consideration and appropriately accommodate us, we might not be disabled at all. Anyways, all of that is to say that there is an important distinction between "invisible autism" (which doesn't exist) and "invisible disability" (which definitely does). I think the latter might be what you're trying to get. If that's not it, just let me know some more about what you're looking for, and I'd be happy to try to help you find a more appropriate term!
I didn't realize until yesterday that I was making eye contact wrong my whole life. Eye contact apparently means to look at someone's face and not just thier eyes. You never look in the same spot too long and you have to have all these convoluted little things that no one is really sure about or else people call you weird. I was making too much eyes contact this whole time in case that wasn't clear enough
4:07 I work, I survive, but I HATE it. And now I hate my parents even more for it (specifically my Dad). We found out towards the end of his life that he made $160,000 a year at his job...Yet, never even tried to offer to pay for college for us. He only had 3 kids. And when he died, there was no money. So a) I didn't go to college, and my grades were shit, because I was undiagnosed AuDHD until 41 years old as of this year, and b) I work for the same company he did now (for 20 years in November). I work onboard long distance trains, so I'm stuck for days at a time with my fellow coworkers and customers in metal tubes :/ I am NOT OK when I get home from work.
I'm going to a psychiatrist this month and they're checking me for ASD, ADHD, and terettes and my doc thinks that it is a very high chance that I'm autistic. I'm starting to realize that I "played along" with a lot and started to mask a lot at a very, very young age so now it feels normal but also uncomfortable at the same time and I'm starting to unmask sometimes and realize just how uncomfortable I am. For example, I realize that I make eye contact but I'm painfully aware of it and only do a good job at it if I know you, if you are a stranger it is a lot harder for me to make eye contact with you. There are so many other things but the second I "unmask" for a second and just try to be myself or something like that, a lot of people ask what's wrong with me. I've also been stimming SO much more lately, uncontrollably, way too often, which makes school and doing things and living very difficult.
As autism is assessed on traits, there are inevitably people with autistic traits who do not have quite enough, or are not sufficiently overtly expressed, for them to pass the diagnosis threshold. These people would be, obviously, 'a little autistic'. This is just logical. This does not mean that people can use this phrase to minimise the problems of people who are diagnosed, or diagnosable, autistics by claiming that 'everyone is a little autistic', because, no they are not. I have a clinical diagnosis of ASD, but I'm also a scientist and dislike illogicality. I worked full-time for 34 years, before early retirement, in scientific research and it is a remarkably autism-friendly environment.
Nesting is so comforting oh my gosh. I would do it in my closet with clothes and get yelled at for it all the time when I was a kid. Now If I can’t sleep I nest on my bed and end up sleeping SO well. It’s wonderful. My bed may be a mess in the morning but it’s my nest and it is perfect the way it is.
That third one Also 3:27 is something I've thought too The pressure of my full-time job has definitely brought out more traits that leads me to believe that I am autistic Masking helps you keep a job but doesn't help your overall mental health 4:07 is me rn 11:50 is actually wild but it's very true
The worst part about late-diagnosis is how you need to accept the sad facts that ADHD will prevent me from truly learning things that I need and autism preventing me from being able to have a full time job. It's true grief. And yes... I saw plenty of people on ADHD subreddits/Quora give advice to how to regulate it in connectiong to studying but the huge paragraphs only prove that its not something you can fix fast enough and shows through how many mental gymnastics we need to go through to accomplish the same results as others.
It depends on what brought on the meltdown for me. Sometimes it's overstimulation- when that happens, I put an eyemask on to block out my sight and headphones on to block out my hearing and try to reduce my stimulation as much as possible. Stimming helps because it lets my body reduce the energy that it's holding onto, and it's how we self-regulate. I'm trying to make sure to do it more often, because it can lessen the chance of or the effects of my meltdowns. It can be helpful to try to make a kind of 'trigger journal', after you're able to self-regulate enough to calm down, try to figure out what caused the meltdown. Knowing that can help mitigate or reduce exposure to those situations. I'm also ADHD with CPTSD, so to my brain, boredom=emotional distress which the Autism turns into meltdown territory, and I panic when I lose things, etc. The other thing that has helped me a lot is finding music that helps me switch my brain into a different mode. It's technically stimming, listening to the same song or songs but I like songs that have a good beat to it and either cheerful or empowering lyrics (if I can handle lyrics, sometimes just instrumental is good. There's a lot of good stimming playlists available on spotify and I'm sure youtube has some, too). Iniko and CHINCHILLA have been my favorite lately, but Jason Mraz has also been helpful for me in the past. It depends on your tastes =)
@@AuDHDVee omg I love Chinchilla! You might also like Kiki Rockwell if you like femme rage stuff, I listen to her on repeat when my body needs a break. Kiki is autistic ❤.
The back to the wall was so relatable, because when I go down to my grandma‘s house, the only TV is in her bedroom, and I almost always sit on the floor at some point in time and she’s always like you should come back up on the bed and watch it it’s cold on the floorbut I love it on the floor. The floor is the best but they can’t understand that. And I can’t explain it to them because they won’t understand.
the best part 5:40, hearing neurodivergentmermaid explain everything i go through as an autistic makes me feel so seen. i need a link to the original post
disclaimer : venting; a single curse word I'm not sure what to do. I've spent years wondering, doing research on what I could possibly have as a diagnosis. Nothing seemed to fit me. I want to find something that will make sense of the majority of my symptoms if not all of them, then i can work on finding the co-occurring disorder(s). Recently, since around a year ago I've been doing research on autism. I've just recently started to compile my research into a document(s) to show people. I've been so positive this could be it. Everything feels right to me, the research, the self-assessments, hearing other people's stories. But my mother along with other people in my life keep telling me I'm not autistic and that they don"t see it. Which is fine, I guess. But they aren't giving me an answer as to what else it could be. They aren't even giving it a second thought. I've been hyperfixated on my mental state for YEARS. But no one takes my thoughts or suggestions on what it could be seriously even when I thought it wasn't autism or it was something else. No one is helping me on this. They are just treating the symptoms, giving me pills, and assigning random shit to me that makes no sense. I want to know the source of the symptoms. I'm 17 years old now, soon I'll really have to do all this work on my own. All the neglect on the topic of what I have is really getting to me. I'm starting to have serious doubts. People keep telling me to stop focusing on my mental state and diagnosis, "it's not healthy for you", "I'd prefer you watching/researching other things on the internet", "I'm going to restrict your access to the internet". I'll admit i can be obsessed on the topic to the point it's very noticeable and interrupts things in life. But I'm the same way about Warrior Cats, Netflix's Arcane T.V series, and writing my own stories. I watch, read, and write so much it's noticeable by others as well and it's all i do. It's the same intensity i have for my research. So why is it any different? I genuinely don't understand. My mother says that I'm being stubborn and that I think other viewpoints and thoughts are wrong if they aren't aligning with my own. "You want people to agree not understand" Is what she would say. I don't feel like I think like that, but because she always says that, I wonder if she is right that I do think that way. I used to have a therapist, but they weren't kind to me so I'm in the process of looking for a new one. Should I keep doing research on it? Should I fight for it? Should I give up? What should I do? Looking for genuine advice! [Sorry if it's long]
gonna try and keep this short I also know the struggle of trying to figure out my mental state and just what is going on inside my brain. I'm not an expert, but if you think that autism fits you (after all this research), it probably does. You know your brain best. I'm also in the process of trying to get a diagnosis. My advise on the therapist would be to try and find one that really understands autism and neurodiversity, bc many don't, and are quick to be dismissive of you trying to bring it up with them. One question, have you tried looking at the autistic diagnostic criteria to show to your mom and comparing it to your own traits? Do your mom and people around you actually have an understanding of what autism is and not just stereotypes? (2 questions. haha). I recommend the subreddit r/AutismTranslated for this. Also, if you haven't checked them out already, youtube channels "I'm Autistic, Now What?" and "The Thought Spot" are really helpful (as well as many others.. but that's already another rabbit hole). Even if it doesn't turn out to be autism, the fact that you have been this concerned and doing this much research shows that something is up, once again, YOU are living with your brain. Even if those around you aren't so supportive, don't give up friend 😄
thank you @@haiyaaaxx8308 i haven't shown my mom a comparison. thats a good idea i will try to do that if she's willing to listen. also I'm pretty sure they only think of the stereotypes so it might be hard. I will check out the reddit you suggested. And I already watch those youtube videos, so I've gone down that rabbit hole! LOL. I will do my best to not give up, and I'm close to getting a therapist. So hopefully that goes okay. Even if it isn't this, at least I can say I already checked that research box and know it doesn't fit me.
1:45-1:50 I have a problem with this statement because it implies that all Autistic people internally have the same traits and differences in their behavior are only a result of their different masking strategies Edit: for example, I never have the internal struggle of making eye contact correctly 8:40 That’s an interesting experience. I have actually noticed an opposite trend, drunk people acting more autistic. 9:28 That is not a pie chart. A pie chart shows how the entirety of something (e.g. all the students in a school) is divided up into categories (e.g. means of getting to school). What you’re showing here is essentially a column chart that was squished to be a circle
When people say they are "a little bit autistic," I suspect that they think they have some traits they associate with autism, but do not meet the diagnostic criteria for an ASD diagnosis. For example, I have a friend with more intense sensory sensitivities than I have, but he lacks the other components of an ASD diagnosis. He has one autistic trait. I wouldn't be offended if he claimed he was "a little bit autustic," despite not having all the traits needed for a diagnosis.
I have a spoon like that from the beginning, I only use it for ice cream or soft things like that because it makes it look pretty and wavey when I scoop it :>
I've been employed... I loved it but it wasn't easy ever... I worked at many places but my longest time was at pizza hut where i worked wing street (i manned the fryer) every day that i could, for 3 to 5 hours (i started at 5pm and closed in the begining(them came the time cuts cuz i couldn't handle it)). I kept feeling so exhausted every day so there were days I called off(that and I was suffering from side affect of monthly antidepressant shot that caused me to get sick and vomit easily) the days I made it in to work were rewarding still and I had a couple of friends there. But after two years, I was so burnt out I couldn't do it anymore... I just wish I could have stayed and not felt so overwhelmed...😢 I regret leaving even though it isn't even my fault...
3:36 it’s also important to remember it’s not safe for everyone to get diagnosed. Me being diagnosed with autism could very quickly mean I lose access to my hrt. And as a trans person that hrt is a lifeline.
Everytime i hear someone mention lining up toys, i get chills. Is this really that common amongst the community? Sometimes i wish i was born today because when i was a kid, no one even thought anything other than its weird thing i do.
Also, i have a sleeping bag folded in half on the floor and its MY seat, like everyone knows it. When i first started doing it, everyone asked why i did it. I told him, i want to be comfy while not being on the bare floor. If i want to spread out, i can. They dont even think about it anymore. But yea...all these "weird" things i do that everyone just went with im weird. Im self diagnosed and feel like a poser saying that, but yea...too many coincidences.
@@Rhaenarys im sorry to hear that your mum thinks it's so strange and brings it up a lot. Like who cares as long as you're sleeping happy and safe? Odd! My parents never shamed me for plushies, thank god. And neither does my fiancé. I don't think i could be with someone who doesn't let me have plushies in the bed, or think my collection is super strange. Ye he may not understand 100% but he supports it. I actually recall being a teenager, surrounded by childish things in my room thinking "im never getting a boyfriend, am i?" XD but it didn't turn out true. Now me and my fiancé have a house full of childish things. Fuck it. I hope you find people who appreciate you for you and let your 'strangeness' thrive 😊 xx
@@vawkwardbat oh! My mistake, she didnt shame me for it. It was more a curiosity thing for her. I never felt shame for it. But i DID notice i was the only one of mt friends to do it. Just never clicked that i might be on the spectrum. I also grew up in the era where girls couldnt be autistic, or so rare only the visibly noticed were acknowledged.
What it is like to be autistic and working...you move slower than your coworkers, you cannot integrate with your coworkers, and you cannot handle the work loads. You've probably had a few jobs for a short amount of time, and never really felt like you were good at your job. If you're autistic like me, the working world is far to chaotic and fast for you.
You can just take your own plushie into the store! The greeter will just give you a sticker to put on them, or if your stuffy is really well loved, it's obvious that they aren't brand new, and therefore aren't stolen.
**Looks around at all of my plushies that are lined up around the parameter of my bed and my sofa in response to this point about the autistic trait of having plushies lined up and nods in agreement** That could be a trait of autism - a neurological difference I have about which I received a professional diagnosis all those years ago.
I hadnt heard of the nesting thing! Hahaha. My nickname is horse, and I always call my bed, my little “horse nest”/“horse cocoon”. I used to do it with stuffed animals too but now it’s more like, I really have two nests -one that’s like a little cubby of all the things I need, and the other is the outer layer, which is like blankets and pillows and things🎠🪺
Thank for the information 😊 now I have confidence (bc everyone tells me i don’t have Autism they said that abt my ADHD but guess what I have ADHD (diagnosed)
2:04... Wait, thinking about that isn't "normal", I mean I know I am autistic, I recently had 3 different medical professionals come to the same conclusion after my reaction to a hate crime against me, and I only just found out yesterday in my late 30s after talking to my transphobic dad for the first time in 9 months, because of his reaction when I came out at as trans last year, that they actually had me tested as a young kid and I had been diagnosed as being autistic when I was a young kid just they never told me because they didn't want to believe it, that was annoying to find out that I had been struggling for so long which could have been a lot easier if I had just known and they knew the entire time. But anyways yeah I thought that eye contact percentages was conscious for even neurotypical people just they aren't as awkward at it, you mean to tell me that it is just automatic for neurotypical people like breathing is? I guess that explains why when I mentioned the difference in eye contact ratio between listening and talking the person I was talking to was like "I would never even think to look up the ratio"
Simon Baron Cohen, a behavioral scientist out of Cambridge, specializing in Autism has stated that people who are part of the LBGQT community are not likely to be autistic but they're not sure why. I know it messed with estrogen & testosterone.
DISCLAIMER: Please refrain from making uneducated assumptions about an individual's diagnosis. You are allowed to express concern of whether you believe someone is faking or not, however, please refrain from leaving harmful comments regarding them. Autism is a spectrum. Everyone is different and exhibits different traits. You may or may not relate to these individuals and that is fine but do not assume that because you have traits that differ from them, they are not autistic! If an individual is proven to be faking or they have a negative reputation in the community, please feel free to respond to this post or private message me on my socials!
Also for clarification: Autism as well as any other neurodiversities represented in these videos are on a spectrum! Everyone is different! Do not use these videos as a means of diagnosing yourself or even questioning your diagnosis! Everyone will have different experiences and struggles! You are perfect the way you are and do not define yourself because a lot of autistic individuals don't like a food but you do, or you like wearing socks compared to those who don't! Be yourself and accept that we are all different!
Girl why there no replys?❤
It's sad that this disclaimer is necessary because of the fakers and the haters... Acceptance is vital...
Can I ask you something
@@johnhipp604 me?
@@johnhipp604 me? Sure.
The spoon at the beginning made my head sore.
Same, it looks like a living nightmare 💀
It made my teeth feel scrapy
Why on earth would such a thing even exist???
@@lost_boy I don't even know, maybe for decoration?
People can be really weird. Like, flowers are decorative. Paintings also. Spoons are for eating!!!
I showed the spoon to my fiancé and she loved it. I had to make her promise to never bring anything like that into the house. I’ve had to stop her before from buying gold plated cutlery - just looking at them makes by teeth feel sensitive and exposed and uncomfortably tingly…
Remember, even neurotypical people are not okay working 40 hours a week. 40 hours a week is an inhumane amount of time to work, and expecting anyone to work 8 to 10 hours a day is insane.
So, if you are neurodivergent, you really shouldn't feel bad for not being able to work full-time because most neurotypical people shouldn't even be subjecting themselves to that, but we have convinced ourselves that it's normal and the most productive.
I believe studies show that most people shouldn't be working more than 3 hours a day, and definitely shouldn't work more than 12 hours a week. Any more than that is not only just inefficient, but it's also often going to be physically and mentally demanding for most individuals. So, don't feel bad and check in on people you know who work full-time because they are probably also not doing it easily because society doesn't put a person's well-being first when it comes to making profit for companies ❣️
I don’t feel bad about not working. I do however feel bad about not being able to afford to live.
This is some information to be reckoned with. Thanks!
Too bad that in our society you have to work 8 hours to afford living with somewhat comfort. I'd rather be exausted than live in terrible conditions eating low quality food
Yes but how do we find jobs that allow such few hours, and then survive off the tiny amount of money coming in?
That’s the problem. Massive corpos are running this bitch, so it’s often expected to prioritize working over your own physical/mental health, it really fucking sucks
I'm a adult woman who at 25 just got diagnosed this year with ADHD and now I'm on a wait list to hopefully this fall get tested for autism.
Hi ! I got my autistic diagnosis two weeks ago at age 26. You can do this
I have ASD and ADHD. I got diagnosed earlier this year (2023) at 27 years old. My therapist said that it seems like it has been a healing process and that’s honestly the best explanation of what it feels like to get diagnosed as an adult. Also, it’s a journey and a process to figuring out who I actually am and it feels really difficult at times but at other times feels so rewarding and healing. I hope the best for you on your journey to getting an ASD diagnosis. It’s helped me so much already.
I was diagnosed autistic last year at the age of 36. It's never too late to learn more and understand your needs better. Good luck on your journey 💜
Imagine if people said "everyones a little bit black" the way they said "everyones a little bit autistic".
Like, imagine a pale ass redhead saying shes a "little bit black" because she has freckles.
totally get the point here and agree, but wanted to share that, as a black person, this does happen.
i have genuinely loss count of how many times a white person has pulled out their Ancestry results to justify some backwards stuff they’ve said, and it’ll say
Tbh that redhead with dreads seems like she'd say everyone was a little bit black
We are a little bit of all the colors of the rainbow
I have a skin mark on my pinky, so I guess that makes me 0.001% black
For me the analogy of you don't have a little bit of HIV or a little bit of cancer to also make the parity of physical health conditions and mental health equivalents if that makes sense.
Something the nd_psych person missed in the bigger picture of employment (and why Functioning Labels are so freaking HARMFUL) is the fact that it's not that we *DON'T NEED* to be diagnosed or supports. It's more likely that we're being missed with (Or in the case of my anchor-partner straight up REFUSED) a diagnosis, because we're highly masking (hence the absolute exhaustion afterwards) and don't 'look or act Autistic enough'. My partner can't get a diagnosis because his parents are both dead and so are most of the adult people that knew him when he was a child. We've been together for 14 years, I spoke to the psychiatrist that he was referred to SPECIFICALLY for the ASD diagnostics by his ex-psych who moved to a different facility, for almost TWO HOURS. At the end of him jumping through months of hoops, she said 'It's highly likely you're Autistic, but I'm just going to put Social Anxiety Disorder in your file because I can't talk to anyone who knows what you were like as a child.'. Like, what???? He's been highly masking his entire life because he saw what the psychiatrists did to his mother (who was Autistic, but overmedicated with psych meds that broke her brain) with new meds every other month.
There's a lot more nuance and complexity to the situation. But I agree that the statistics are inaccurate, and it'd be nice if we could have them be at least *more* accurate than they currently are.
💯
I just got my autism diagnosis.
I'm 28. I work 6 hour days 4 days a week and can barely manage anything for /me/ the rest of the time because I'm so tired. I still need accomodations, I'm just working myself into the ground out of necessity until I get them.
I have a biology degree but I've worked in housekeeping, retail, factory, and front of house because no job means no home and no food.
I was looking for a comment like this. I agree about the statistic thing but her way of describing "high functioning" people with Autism irked me a little.
This makes me so mad. I remember myself as a child and I surely know better what was going on inside my head than my family. Why do they need to ask our families? Ask us, we have brains and memory! My family never thought my autistic traits were in fact autistic traits and my mom actively denies that I'm autistic. She would say I was a perfectly normal child. And I'm sure I'm not the only one like this. Prioritising the relatives' opinions over the autistic person['s opinion can be very harmful.
@@sunshine-dz6xj Absolutely agree with you 1000000% It's absolutely ridiculous and the infantilization of Autists is far too common in the psych field unfortunately. I'm sorry your mother is invalidating your experience. You know yourself better than anyone else ever could. You are valid
@@AuDHDVee Thank you so much for your support :)
Hi! Just a PSA on a developing trend: High-Support Needs Autistics in the community have been requesting that we use *Verbal Shutdown* or some variation of *Semi-Verbal,* *Demi-Verbal,* *Speech Loss,* or the like to describe what we've been typically calling "going nonverbal."
This request comes about because *Nonverbal* is used to describe nonspeaking autistics who do not use verbal speech, and it muddies the water (so to speak) for speaking autistics to describe our verbal shutdowns with a word meant for people who do not speak at all. That's all! Thanks for reading.
thank you!!
THANK YOU THAT SOUNDS AMAZING I love specific and rigid terms sibisvisi WOOOOO
this is lovely, thank you! i will take note of this and start using the proper terms because i never knew how to describe my verbal shutdowns as anything other than "nonverbal".
I actually really like this distinction! It makes it more clarifying, noted :]
thanks for the PSA!!!
Just recently realized I'm autistic at the age of 37, watching this, come across the one about nesting, look at my bed I'm currently nesting in...I have 8 blankets, 5 pillows, and two plushies! I'm loving this!
Oh wait what? Is that why I do this? I didn’t realize it was a thing. I just want my bed to be soft and fluffy.
Husband’s side is pillow sheet typical velvet topped blanket.
Mine is many pillows many types of fabric all fluffy, down duvet, faux fur throw, weighted blanket, the “softest blanket in the world” down mattress cover.
Sheets tangle and hurt my skin so I lay on top. All the way as in the blanket is velvet and that’s my bottom sheet.
And my Chihuahua…
Now I can be like seee I’m not extra or dramatic it’s a real sensory thing that calms my nervous system
I nest when I am overly tired or stressed, or just feel like it. I build the walls really high and create a game.
So anyone else just LOVE when you find a stranger you think is super cool and you want to get to know them but your messages sound creepy because you over explain in hopes you don't come off as creepy, delete the message, have a mental breakdown and just say "So anyway I'm Autistic" at the end?
.... Just me...?
Do it😊
I hate to admit it
but for me this dilemma usually turns into a ghosting
🖤💜💙💚💙💜🖤
Much Love!
No Omg it's not just you 😆
I recently had an experience like that and let me tell you I was anxiously dying over whether it sounded creepy or too much, like... idk.
Yes!!!
I ghost a lot too.
And edit and delete a ton of things instead of sending because…
Yeah
Yep!
So, about the autistics having jobs thing, I am autistic and professionally diagnosed. I can only work part-time. I HAVE to work because I would be homeless if I didn't. I am forced to work. I don't have a support system to take care of me. If I don't get enough hours, I probably won't get to eat enough. I cannot stand working. I cannot handle my job. I go home every night either in intense physical pain or in a horrible meltdown. Not every autistic who works is "able" to. Sometimes, we HAVE to.
Last video, about how AI could be (honestly, just is) ableist and racist just blew my mind 😮
All of the public AIs that have come out that have been allowed to interact with people "naturally" have become racist just from the interaction. The ones I've seen lately have safeguards in place that don't allow them to engage in "controversial" topics. It's honestly sad because we'll never see any progress towards believable AI if companies are literally censoring them from their inception.
It does help those intending to use it as an effective tool to say, generate cover art for example. Say i wanted to use this site to generate a picture of something simple, like a dog. I could take a few of those images of dogs that the ai generates, then go to an actual artist, assuming i had the funds, and say, "hey mr./mrs. Artist, i had ai generate a few example images of a dog that i liked for a piece of cover art. Can you dress them up in your own style and i can pick out the ones i like?" And it goes from there. Ai generating art is not a problem in and of itself, assuming that we know how to, as the video said, use it correctly. You wouldnt use a hammer to try and solve an electrical problem!
Personally I think it’s just because we don’t represent autistic people in a diverse way. Media shows autistic people this way. It’s not that the ai is racist, it’s that we as a whole don’t have representation. It’s not even the agregations problem, it’s our own. White, cis, boys are the most common representation.
Also, with ai you have to be specific. It will give you a black trans woman who is autistic if that’s what you ask for, it’s just that when you only ask for an autistic person, it pulls the most common example. Also, it’s kind of weird to ask for that, just because well autism doesn’t have a look. Any image you ask for of a person could be autistic.
People are -ist and -phobic. AI currently just takes the input from what exists/has been created already. From a human. It doesn't have the intelligence yet to take into account everything which might exist.
That shell spoon, I have one very similar, and I use it occasionally for when I want to feel fun and fancy! Maybe for mac and cheese or some small pasta or rice :]
Just learned this is actually a sugar spoon. It’s used to break up the lumps to then scoop out, and it’s traditionally stored in the jar so it doesn’t end up in the drawer.
It hurt my mouth just to look at it.
No.
I love that. I have one and it just sits in the drawer.
But I often have a favorite spoon I only use and I do a different type and shape when it happens.
But now I want to make the unused sugar spoon my macncheese spoon ❤
To the speaker at 5:40 - Truth!!!
I don’t believe there’s anything ‘wrong’ with us. We are the small minority with specific skills that would have been extremely evolutionarily advantageous back in the caveman days
She was spitting fire, man. I'd say not only are people on the spectrum more likely to survive in an apocalypse, a disproportionate amount are probably actively preparing to do so.
You’ve been posting a lot lately thanks for the hard work and don’t forget to take a break!
Thank you! I’ll try!
Ditto
@@ealpacaf.7463omg I love your pfp ! it's so cuuuute !
I don’t think many people understand the true importance of this comment whenever any RUclipsr doesn’t posting in a while. But I haven’t seen any comment asking people to take a break. it’s important to realize your limits and when you need to take a break. And remember if anyone is pressuring you into posting more often whether it’s someone you know or a random stranger on the internet, you don’t have to listen to them. This is YOUR channel. NOT theirs
I agree about the autism work stats. Im an autistic analyst! For 4-6 years in my field and thriving because of my strengths in pattern recognition. Sometimes a full shift gets really difficult but working from home and being well supported by my team has made it really enjoyable and sustainable
Work for me is the opposite. I need a full time job - same hours, same work pattern, same pay. I'm stuck in a part- time job and having a roster that changes 3 times a week - I can't build any sort I'd routine around (not to mention it's completely customer facing). It's killing me.... and that is how I got diagnosed at 39yrs old.
I can only work 4-6 hours a week, it's really difficult and when I'm asked to work longer I feel completely demolished mentally and physically.
Odd... i work 8 hours as normal... sometimes a little longer.
I do manual labour involvong plumbing. So using pickaxes and shovels to lay pipes and soldering copper pipes together. Setting geysers up in tight roofs, climbing down manholes getting dirty as hell and I do fine. Still tired and shit but that's because I just worked like hell. Just done chatting with some mates from school and spending time with family... reallh wondering then if I am Autistic. I do act strange i guess sometimes. But mostly i act normal... dont know
@@KDZ_Prime People react differently to stuff. Autism isn't one size fits all so maybe that kind of work is fine for you. For me though, my options in life tend to be working with other people and customers two things that drain me hopelessly and make me feel miserable and hate life. Glad you found a job and support system you feel good with
AI can only be as "good" as society is....
I'm autistic, diagnosed and I work and have worked since I was 16 or before, mostly janitorial positions, though now I work in a factory.. and not having to talk to customers has been a huge blessing
Love this comp! The repetitive task loving really got me and the clear explanation of how someone can't be "a little" on the spectrum. Thanks❤
since this talked about working a good bit i think i can be of use. i work 12 hr shifts in a loud and busy environment (hospital) so im on the more extreme end, lots of sounds and smells and lights and everything is just very abrasive. for a bit more added context, on the other hand my sensory sensitivities arent quite as extensive as some of my other autistic friends and im very high masking.
the most relevant thing i can say is that im very careful about planning multiple periods throughout the shift where i can isolate myself and have a break from everything, as well as knowing places nearby that i can "retreat" to if need be. i also cleared with my supervisor that im able to wear earplugs/small noise cancelling devices for parts of the day if need be, without even having to mention a diagnosis or anything of the sort (i recognize some wont allow this but its worth a shot).
another very helpful thing, particularly if youre high masking, was actively allowing and encouraging myself to engage in larger stims at work, bird sounds, flapping, etc., where before i would generally restrict myself to things like chewing my cheek.
i also think jobs where you can make pretty regimented task lists and times that are constant from day to day are heavily preferrable. obvious emergencies in my particular workplace can shake this up, but largely speaking im performing the same set of tasks at the same time each workday (and equally importantly taking my breaks at the same time). further, i prefer to set aside time before and after my shift when im at home to follow certain rituals, especially when working multiple days in a row.
it still can be extremely taxing, especially if i ever work more than 2 days in a row, but its much more manageable now.
also, anecdotally speaking a lot of my autistic friends that have difficulty holding most jobs work at pet shelters, i dunno if theres something special about that or if its just a coincidence but theres that.
anyways hope this helps a bit. ciao.
Thanks for the video! I'm currently seeking a diagnosis (I'm a girl, so it's a little scary. I hope I don't have to face any ableists) Wish me luck!
good luck! :)
good luck! ^^
Wait… we’re the kawaii animals also good luck im a questioning AuDHD myself 👍
Good luck! I wish you all the best! ❤
"I hope I don't have to face any ableists" is always relevant
We should put that on a tee shirt
1:37 There's such a thing as the Broader Autism Phenotype, and other traits or full disorders or syndromes that people might have that share many of the same traits of autism
E.g.: SPD, BPD, AvPD, OCPD, OCD ADHD, Schizoprenia's prodrome, Sensory Processing Disorder, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, etc.
And any one person can have more than one. My sister has NPD, MDD and Sensory Processing Disorder, they were initially investigating Autism for her instead and it makes enough sense
one of these videos (too lazy to find the timestamp again lmao. it was one of the ones about unmasking) made me realize that me "only showing autistic traits before i get diagnosed" is not actually "only showing autistic traits before i get diagnosed". its me feeling more comfortable to unmask now that i have some answers for the things i do.
Sometimes watching all these amazing people, who are so clued into their diagnosis makes me cry. I'm so grateful that they explain everything to me but also so sad that Im not yet at that level of self-awareness. I'm just so grateful for everyone who makes these videos. I hope one day I'll have the same self-insight. I'm having a bit of a vulnerable day today and I'm a bit cry-ish but I'm also comforted by these brilliant people. ❤
The thing the person said about “not being able to be a little but on the spectrum”, and that if you’re a little bit on, then your autistic-
When i was younger, i was like diagnosed with being “A highly sensitive person” because I was a little but of everything, but not enough of those little things to fully be in one of the autistic boxes, so but now I’m like “well wtf?” bdhdhdh
If you're an overthinker and sensitive to certain stimuli, you're most likely autistic. No one understands your emotional motivations, and thinks you're unemotional, or you're being logical and everyone thinks you're being overly emotional. Oh, and communication. Neurotypicals suck at it.
For anyone who is wondering what the Silicone Valley Effect is, there is no good reason for it to interfere with an autism diagnosis, in fact it should back up a diagnosis if anything. That isn't to say that all or even most diagnosticians properly understand what it is.
Basically the idea is this: autism rates in the silicone valley area are soaring thru the roof; the question is why. The best answer anyone can come up with is that there's all these adults moving out there for the tech jobs- many are on the spectrum and many more simply have high spectrum traits and a genetic predisposition to autism but are not actually on the spectrum- but they get together and have babies who are. In fact the statistics on spectrum kids being born specifically to fathers who hold jobs as engineers are just outlandishly high. So if you have a parent, especially a dad who is an engineer, statistically the chances of being on the spectrum are much higher than someone with a dad who isn't an engineer. If you have 1 parent that works in silicone valley, then your statistical chances of having autism go up. Then if you have 2 parents working in silicone valley then the chances go up even further. If your dad works in silicone valley as an engineer and your mom works there as a coder or a Dr for example, then your statistical chances of being on the spectrum are higher than any I've mentioned so far. If your mom works in silicone valley as a Dr or something like that and your dad works in silicone valley as an engineer and you have an older brother who has an accurate autism diagnosis then the statistical chances of you being autistic become the highest I've mentioned thus far.
Now here's where it gets REALLY interesting- if both your parents are janitors in Texas but you have an older sister who has a correct diagnosis of autism, your statistical chances of having autism go up so high its crazy, I think just having an older sister on the spectrum brings you up to a statistical 80-something% chance of being autistic yourself.
So when you put it all together- if your biological father works as an engineer and silicone valley and your mom works another high end or especially high tech job in silicone valley, and you have an older sister with a correct autism diagnosis, then the statistical chances of you being neurotypical are almost nonexistent.
So in case anyone was wondering, that's how that works. I really hope somebody corrects whatever diagnostician tried to tell that guy he wasn't autistic bc silicon valley. Bc I can tell you if my Dr said that to me and I was in his shoes, they would have had to defend it scientifically to me right there in their office and they wouldn't be able to. And then I'd prob hire a lawyer to sue him bc if I [or my parents] could afford to live in silicone valley then I could prob afford a lawyer too.
But honestly that Dr clearly didn't understand what he was talking about. [Tbf it is also possible there may have been some sort of misunderstanding/miscommunication- since I wasn't there idk]
5:19 I didn't realize this was an autistic trait. I used to make my bed somewhat look like a pet bed (if that makes sense). Like I would fold over the edges of the dooner and then tuck it into itself. I would then put my pillows around as well. I used to find it super cool and comfortable. But also exhausting to make when it fell apart, lmao.
It’s not. It’s a spectrum and we all have our own individual traits. There can be two people on the same ends of the spectrum, with completely different traits, behaviors, and personalities. Especially considering that the person in the video stopped doing the action, and is considering starting it again, it’s simply not. Autistic people tend to like patterns for security, for me it keeps me from thinking back on trauma, and her behavior in the video does not reflect any patterns.
Not saying she doesn’t have autism, but I am saying that “nesting” doesn’t make you autistic. There are so many autistic people who don’t build nests or sensory safe houses. I never needed a nest because I could go to my room and close the door to feel safe and comfortable.
As for why she made that clip claiming it’s the most autistic thing ever she does, it’s just for views!
Heck, I have neurotypical friends who loved to build nests as kids and still do them to this day!
@CamilleLeon21 thanks for clarifying! It's cool to know that it's more of a sensory thing that a lot of individuals do, not just autistic people!
I wonder if the not smiling aspect has anything to do with the lack of expression that sometimes comes up with autism? Like, I know a lot of the time I take a picture it is one of two things, zero facial tone or a fake smile. Because it a controlled environment and I don't have anything else to give. While we do smile, and can often, a lot of the pictures are without. Not because sad, but just no need for forcing emotion externally.
kidna off topic but also topic but alos not, but i learned how to fake smile and now i dont look weird or stupid anymore in photos!!! yaayy
5:17 bro that’s a trait? No wonder why I did that I would get all my stuffed animals and surround myself with them and then I’d sleep
it's not really a trait, but its something the person (who has autism) does and feels like its the most autistic thing ever they did. Don't use it as an actual trait to back up research if you think you may have autism.
@@ahseymania ritualistic ordering of objects is an autistic trait. Seeking comfort after stressful circumstances, usually in a cozy, weighted or pressurised environment is also an autistic trait as it's a sensory seeking experience which will remain constant.
Nesting is an autistic trait.
@@audreydoyle5268 oh alright
Guys, I’ve been questioning wether or not I have anxiety or I’m autistic. On one hand I exhibit some traits of autism but on the other, I present basically “normal”. I feel like because I present that way and have an understanding of emotions and people I’m not autistic and just looking for attention. I feel like I fluctuate too much to be autistic, like I could be very social but very quiet some days. I don’t remember anything from when I was a child which leads me to believe I’m autistic. I’ve always been very bubbly until recently, in my adolescence. Im scared nobody will take me seriously due to my inability of being able to explain how my traits show. Im scared that im just being over dramatic.
i feel the same as you do. i think im autsitic so i cant really explain how but (possibly) autistics support (possibly) autistics!!! you go
yipeeeeeeeeeeee
I’m self diagnosed autistic and I was informed dumping about autism to my bestie bc it became my special interest and while I was explaining why I think I’m autistic and how I’m mad that people keep denying the fact that I’m autistic she was just like “I don’t think your autistic” just casually and it makes me so friggin mad I’ve already tried to get diagnosed by telling my parents I think I’m autistic and they said they think I’m neurodivergent but not autistic and getting my experience invalidated multiple times hurts,
I am autistic but also privileged enough to work without many supports. I work a 60+hour week and every day is completely draining but if you work very hard you can push thru the thresholds holding you back.
I love watching these so much and I relate to them all so much it hurts. I havent been diagnosed with anything but I'm pretty sure I'm autistic (I've done a lot of research), and I love seeing these and feeling like I finally belong somewhere and have a whole community of people like me :)
also, the person at 5:40 basically described my entire life-
About that 15% employed statistic. This is one statistic that's going to be overly affected by people who pursue a clinical diagnosis -- or have it pursued for them -- vs. people who are late diagnosed or self-diagnosed. I'd like to emphasize that it's not the case that there is an 85% unemployment rate for autistic people. It's the case that there was an 85% unemployment rate for people who had been officially clinically diagnosed with autism in a 2016 study in the UK. Other studies have given wildly different numbers. But this one is the one people and organizations point to in order to solicit donations to pity the poor autistic people. This differentiation may sound ticky-tack and petty. But what I'd like to avoid is a situation were autistic people are automatically infantilized through the misunderstanding of this statistic. Most of all, people who may have suddenly understood that they are autistic after the year 2016 should not infantilize themselves as internalizing the idea that they are unemployable. Even in terms of getting an autism diagnosis, not only was 2016 ages ago, it was also before the covid pandemic when WFH was normalized, eliminating at least one major issue autistics have with employment. I will die on this hill. Especially if I'm asked to go back into the office. You can just forget that, Sharon.
As someone who works in a highly technical field, can confirm plenty of us are autistic, LOL.
Well I can’t work, tried it, almost unalived myself. But I gotta eventually because living in dirt ass poverty is no fun. Still don’t know how I’m gonna do it but I can’t kms because surprisingly enough some people actually love me and I just can’t do that to them. Funny how it’d ironically be easier if I wasn’t loved, I’d have no attachments and I’d be able to just go in peace. But what can you do? Anyway, what were we talking about?
I love the bug analogy and pet black widow thing so much!!
I need to do everything in my power not to infodump about my love of arthropods and arachnids but just know that I love this! I think the whole "the relationship is just changing what it looks like" is harder because its more ambiguous than the objective metamorphosis where the logic and purpose of the changes become immediately understandable. Humans can have too many factors with details like social cues you could miss versus the change of a superworm larvae walking backwards when scared to the adult darkling beetle secreting a foul-smelling substance when scared.
I keep seeing other autistic people say that when they drink it makes them feel "normal" I don't understand what they mean by that could someone explain? 8:40
Maybe less anxious?
I have adhd, but I don’t know if I also have autism. I worked retail stocking shelves. When in my own department, I would get it done way before the computer estimation. But when they would stick me in an unfamiliar department, I barely got anything done. I would work my dept the same way every night and I had it organized, but man, put me in a place where I didn’t have a routine, and I failed so hard.
1:38 it can't be that brains can be sorted into autistic and neurotypical that easily. Since autism is a spectrum, being neurotypical is also a spectrum of different brains, and there's got to be some overlap where people are "just a little autistic".
I work full time and i cant have any bit of a life because I feel drained all the time im fully burnt out and cry most days before work. Its why i am finally getting a diagnosis so i can receive proper help so i dont feel like i have to work full time. So i can take better care of my family and myself and not feel like im a complete failure on the financial side
3:20 yep I am certain that I am autistic but the reason I will not get a diagnosis is that doing so would jeapordise the security clearance I require for the work I've been doing for 20 years. I cannot imagine working anywhere else. I feel very lucky to have full time employment that suits me. It's not easy but with lots of solitude outside of work, living close enough to work that I can walk at least one way so I don't have to deal with a long commute, it's manageable.
9:01 this hit so hard 😢 I’m 27 afab and I was diagnosed with adhd in early 2023. I’ve suspected that I may also be autistic for a few years now. I went for an ASD screening about two weeks ago. I was told insurance wouldn’t pay for testing because I smoke too much 🍁 it sucks having to wait months for a screening to be turned away for one reason or another.
It’s fairly common for adds to smoke because we crave the dopamine high.
I will say reading the Alan Carrs easy way helped me tremendously and when I don’t smoke I don’t even notice I’m not smoking.
Don’t give up.
I just realised that as a (probably) autistic person, with probably ADHD, I was following the genius subtitles of the last video with the word, at the time when is said, is colored.
Subtitles that were actually helping me to keep attention on what was saying. I don't need them for understanding the video, but it helped me so much ! Waw, I just discovered my neuro-diversity a new time !
(I am a french who tries to learn english... Did I make some mistakes in my sentences ?)
I work 40 hrs and I have ASD. So I think the reason I’m able to work is due to my workplace and job itself not being mentally demanding. It’s retail and I interact with customers but the days are the same so they feel structured and predictable. I also value financial independence and one of my biggest fears is not being able to take care of myself or be seen as incapable of taking care of myself by my family. I think due to my circumstances, cultural background (Hispanic, mex-ame specifically), and the environment I was raised in (work hard for what you want and never be financially dependent on anyone else), I’m in a position where I have no choice but to work but I’m able to make the best of it.
TL;DR: I don’t have a choice and I’ve crafted a hyper specific lifestyle to work around that.
0:00 I love this spoon as long as it’s smooth because the waves make my feel like it’s being petted and it’s amazing (in my opinion)
Also they’re usually pretty small and I like that
I find these SO helpful.
I feel as if there should be a planet for autistic people…. ✨the autism planet✨
Does it include self/undiagnosed?
@@Aroacerat yes!!!!
@@ahseymania Nice. Means I’m not stuck here being asked why I do things that I swear are just what everyone else is doing every day (why do you walk like that? Who speaks like that? Etc.)
5:36 omg me and my brother would do this when I had nightmares. I've been really looking into the fact I might be autistic and just extremely good at masking/mimicking the people around me.
I’m getting an autism/ADHD assessment on next Tuesday!! I technically already had it, but everything at that appointment was iq testing, so idk if it really counted. I’m excited to see the results, I think I have both but who knows!
How'd it go? 😮😊
oh my goodness, with the nesting thing I remembered how when I was younger I would ask my mom to make my blankets into a nest for me to sleep in
Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗
How’d you know? I haven’t done any of those tasks in the past 8 hours-
@@Aroacerat 💜💜🤗🤗
I already don't like silverware because they are metal and I hate the feeling of metal on my teeth, I hate the feeling of metal on my mouth in general. But that spoon!!! That spoon was a threat to me. 🥲
5:29 I kinda wanna try this but I don’t wanna hurt my plushies feelings :( like what if I hurt them in my sleep (even tho I don’t move much in my sleep,but like what if?)
6:00 ish minutes in they're talking about hearing things to an intense degree and I really vibe with that in a super weird hard of hearing way. like I got tubes and I have countless boring hours learning how to exist in a world that doesn't give a fuck if i can hear or not and learning how to talk when i can't hear properly, my hearing is NOT good, but I still am able to use what I've got extraordinarily well, to the point I was going into audio engineering before disability and genocide kinda killed my future
The spoon at the beginning may look cute as a decoration, but I absolutely DO NOT want to use it. I can feel my lips, teeth, tongue and cheeks shrivelling up 😭😭😭😭
Also, as a soon-to-be electrical engineer, the guy who explained the AI thing was just spot on
the spoon in the first one is so!!! i can imagine the fun texture and feel it'd have :D love it
So, I have a serious question. I know that autism exists on a spectrum, but what terminology would someone use to differentiate less-visible vs more-visible/stereotypical autism? Sincerest apologies if my wording could have been better.
Thank you for asking. I consider myself low-needs autistic at this time, but others might find that off-putting as well. It may be best to just say autistic.
@@reut0094 Thank you, i realize now the best option may just be to ask people individually and take it on a case-by-case basis but thank you for your input regardless 😅
I think if a person is less visibly autistic they are sometimes called high-masking, but I’m not sure about all the terminology English isn‘t my native language.
@@lexitaylor8131 I don't think there is established terminology for less visible/more visible. What you're looking for seems like it would generally be used to describe us from an allistic perspective-i.e., how easily we're _detectible._ Since the language we create is used to describe our lived experiences from our autistic perspectives, I don't think you'll be able to find anything that autistic people would be comfortable being called while also fitting what you're looking for exactly.
Moreover, those of us who are high-masking tend to dislike being told that we "don't look autistic," and it would be difficult to disentangle any potential vocabulary from that implication. In other words, calling any of us "less-visibly autistic" no matter how you phrase it would likely have the effect of insulting us, no matter how well intentioned. Not to mention, the idea of anyone-but especially neurotypicals-trying to detect us outside of a clinical setting makes me feel uneasy given our status as a heavily marginalized group and what the nazis did to us.
That being said, we do have some terminology that may be helpful for your purposes. For example, low-masking/high-masking as used above, low-support/high-support needs, and undiagnosed/self-diagnosed come to mind. Of course, as you alluded to earlier, not every autistic person will be receptive to all of these terms.
In general, however, I would encourage you to consider whether one of those terms would be more apt for communicating whatever you are trying to say. If not, and all you are trying to say essentially boils down to "you don't look autistic," it would probably be best to keep that to yourself. Otherwise, here are some examples for how you could approach some situations where you might be inclined to label certain autistics less visible/more visible:
- Instead of "people with less visible autism often go undiagnosed," consider, "the medical community fails to diagnose autism in many individuals." (less visible traits is arguably somewhat implied by the medical community missing them)
- Instead of "autistics who have less visible characteristics of autism often do not get the support/accommodations they need." consider, "Being a high-masking/undiagnosed autistic means that people either don't see that said individual has greater support needs or do not believe them when they request accommodations."
Thank you for asking and being willing to learn :)
@@lexitaylor8131 Oh! Y'know what... On second thought, there may be a perfect term for what you're trying to communicate: "invisible disability."
However, I have an important point to make... Despite autism _causing_ me to be disabled, I personally don't consider my autism to _be_ my disability. This is because of the model that I use to understand my disabilities, the *_social model of disability._* If you're not familiar, the social model of disability understands disability as being an external problem rather than an internal problem. More specifically, the disability is caused by the societal barriers that arise from society being built without disabled people in mind. For instance, consider a "normal" and "healthy" person. While they would not be considered disabled in any way in whichever society in which they reside, they would suddenly be disabled if even a small thing were changed. Suppose that they were transported to an alternate reality where everything was the same except everyone could see infrared light, and suppose that this new society uses infrared range lights for traffic lights, infrared inks for traffic signs or all manner of printed text, etc. Because this person would not be able to drive or read without assistance, they would be considered disabled in this theoretical society despite not being back home. It is the same for us. Society is built for neurotypicals. It does not have us in mind. Therefore, we are disabled. If, however, society were to take us into consideration and appropriately accommodate us, we might not be disabled at all.
Anyways, all of that is to say that there is an important distinction between "invisible autism" (which doesn't exist) and "invisible disability" (which definitely does). I think the latter might be what you're trying to get.
If that's not it, just let me know some more about what you're looking for, and I'd be happy to try to help you find a more appropriate term!
I didn't realize until yesterday that I was making eye contact wrong my whole life. Eye contact apparently means to look at someone's face and not just thier eyes. You never look in the same spot too long and you have to have all these convoluted little things that no one is really sure about or else people call you weird. I was making too much eyes contact this whole time in case that wasn't clear enough
4:07 I work, I survive, but I HATE it. And now I hate my parents even more for it (specifically my Dad). We found out towards the end of his life that he made $160,000 a year at his job...Yet, never even tried to offer to pay for college for us. He only had 3 kids. And when he died, there was no money. So a) I didn't go to college, and my grades were shit, because I was undiagnosed AuDHD until 41 years old as of this year, and b) I work for the same company he did now (for 20 years in November). I work onboard long distance trains, so I'm stuck for days at a time with my fellow coworkers and customers in metal tubes :/ I am NOT OK when I get home from work.
I'm going to a psychiatrist this month and they're checking me for ASD, ADHD, and terettes and my doc thinks that it is a very high chance that I'm autistic. I'm starting to realize that I "played along" with a lot and started to mask a lot at a very, very young age so now it feels normal but also uncomfortable at the same time and I'm starting to unmask sometimes and realize just how uncomfortable I am. For example, I realize that I make eye contact but I'm painfully aware of it and only do a good job at it if I know you, if you are a stranger it is a lot harder for me to make eye contact with you. There are so many other things but the second I "unmask" for a second and just try to be myself or something like that, a lot of people ask what's wrong with me. I've also been stimming SO much more lately, uncontrollably, way too often, which makes school and doing things and living very difficult.
As autism is assessed on traits, there are inevitably people with autistic traits who do not have quite enough, or are not sufficiently overtly expressed, for them to pass the diagnosis threshold. These people would be, obviously, 'a little autistic'. This is just logical. This does not mean that people can use this phrase to minimise the problems of people who are diagnosed, or diagnosable, autistics by claiming that 'everyone is a little autistic', because, no they are not. I have a clinical diagnosis of ASD, but I'm also a scientist and dislike illogicality. I worked full-time for 34 years, before early retirement, in scientific research and it is a remarkably autism-friendly environment.
5:13 I remember trying to do this as a child but I hated the fact that my stuffed animals would fall off the bed when I tried to sleep so I stopped.
The second one is TOO real
(I definitely did not do my flappy bird arms whilst watching it.)
4:08 my school days are 9 hrs long and i absolutely hate it and then my family wonders why im in such a bad mood
The music in the 2nd one made me sooooo happy
5:00 when I was younger I would get a bunch of small pillows and make a box around my head when I was falling asleep
Nesting is so comforting oh my gosh. I would do it in my closet with clothes and get yelled at for it all the time when I was a kid.
Now If I can’t sleep I nest on my bed and end up sleeping SO well. It’s wonderful. My bed may be a mess in the morning but it’s my nest and it is perfect the way it is.
That third one
Also 3:27 is something I've thought too
The pressure of my full-time job has definitely brought out more traits that leads me to believe that I am autistic
Masking helps you keep a job but doesn't help your overall mental health
4:07 is me rn
11:50 is actually wild but it's very true
The worst part about late-diagnosis is how you need to accept the sad facts that ADHD will prevent me from truly learning things that I need and autism preventing me from being able to have a full time job. It's true grief. And yes... I saw plenty of people on ADHD subreddits/Quora give advice to how to regulate it in connectiong to studying but the huge paragraphs only prove that its not something you can fix fast enough and shows through how many mental gymnastics we need to go through to accomplish the same results as others.
does anyone know some ways to calm down during an autistic meltdown
It depends on what brought on the meltdown for me. Sometimes it's overstimulation- when that happens, I put an eyemask on to block out my sight and headphones on to block out my hearing and try to reduce my stimulation as much as possible. Stimming helps because it lets my body reduce the energy that it's holding onto, and it's how we self-regulate. I'm trying to make sure to do it more often, because it can lessen the chance of or the effects of my meltdowns. It can be helpful to try to make a kind of 'trigger journal', after you're able to self-regulate enough to calm down, try to figure out what caused the meltdown. Knowing that can help mitigate or reduce exposure to those situations. I'm also ADHD with CPTSD, so to my brain, boredom=emotional distress which the Autism turns into meltdown territory, and I panic when I lose things, etc.
The other thing that has helped me a lot is finding music that helps me switch my brain into a different mode. It's technically stimming, listening to the same song or songs but I like songs that have a good beat to it and either cheerful or empowering lyrics (if I can handle lyrics, sometimes just instrumental is good. There's a lot of good stimming playlists available on spotify and I'm sure youtube has some, too). Iniko and CHINCHILLA have been my favorite lately, but Jason Mraz has also been helpful for me in the past. It depends on your tastes =)
@@AuDHDVee omg I love Chinchilla! You might also like Kiki Rockwell if you like femme rage stuff, I listen to her on repeat when my body needs a break. Kiki is autistic ❤.
@@reut0094 I love Kiki, too!!!
@@AuDHDVee aggh this is so cool ok what about Melanie Martinez (Milk of the Sirens esp) and Sevdaliza?!
The shell spoon activates my fight or flight
The back to the wall was so relatable, because when I go down to my grandma‘s house, the only TV is in her bedroom, and I almost always sit on the floor at some point in time and she’s always like you should come back up on the bed and watch it it’s cold on the floorbut I love it on the floor. The floor is the best but they can’t understand that. And I can’t explain it to them because they won’t understand.
the best part 5:40, hearing neurodivergentmermaid explain everything i go through as an autistic makes me feel so seen. i need a link to the original post
disclaimer : venting; a single curse word
I'm not sure what to do. I've spent years wondering, doing research on what I could possibly have as a diagnosis. Nothing seemed to fit me. I want to find something that will make sense of the majority of my symptoms if not all of them, then i can work on finding the co-occurring disorder(s). Recently, since around a year ago I've been doing research on autism. I've just recently started to compile my research into a document(s) to show people. I've been so positive this could be it. Everything feels right to me, the research, the self-assessments, hearing other people's stories. But my mother along with other people in my life keep telling me I'm not autistic and that they don"t see it. Which is fine, I guess. But they aren't giving me an answer as to what else it could be. They aren't even giving it a second thought. I've been hyperfixated on my mental state for YEARS. But no one takes my thoughts or suggestions on what it could be seriously even when I thought it wasn't autism or it was something else. No one is helping me on this. They are just treating the symptoms, giving me pills, and assigning random shit to me that makes no sense. I want to know the source of the symptoms. I'm 17 years old now, soon I'll really have to do all this work on my own. All the neglect on the topic of what I have is really getting to me. I'm starting to have serious doubts.
People keep telling me to stop focusing on my mental state and diagnosis, "it's not healthy for you", "I'd prefer you watching/researching other things on the internet", "I'm going to restrict your access to the internet". I'll admit i can be obsessed on the topic to the point it's very noticeable and interrupts things in life. But I'm the same way about Warrior Cats, Netflix's Arcane T.V series, and writing my own stories. I watch, read, and write so much it's noticeable by others as well and it's all i do. It's the same intensity i have for my research. So why is it any different? I genuinely don't understand.
My mother says that I'm being stubborn and that I think other viewpoints and thoughts are wrong if they aren't aligning with my own. "You want people to agree not understand" Is what she would say. I don't feel like I think like that, but because she always says that, I wonder if she is right that I do think that way.
I used to have a therapist, but they weren't kind to me so I'm in the process of looking for a new one.
Should I keep doing research on it? Should I fight for it? Should I give up? What should I do?
Looking for genuine advice!
[Sorry if it's long]
gonna try and keep this short
I also know the struggle of trying to figure out my mental state and just what is going on inside my brain. I'm not an expert, but if you think that autism fits you (after all this research), it probably does. You know your brain best. I'm also in the process of trying to get a diagnosis. My advise on the therapist would be to try and find one that really understands autism and neurodiversity, bc many don't, and are quick to be dismissive of you trying to bring it up with them. One question, have you tried looking at the autistic diagnostic criteria to show to your mom and comparing it to your own traits? Do your mom and people around you actually have an understanding of what autism is and not just stereotypes? (2 questions. haha). I recommend the subreddit r/AutismTranslated for this. Also, if you haven't checked them out already, youtube channels "I'm Autistic, Now What?" and "The Thought Spot" are really helpful (as well as many others.. but that's already another rabbit hole). Even if it doesn't turn out to be autism, the fact that you have been this concerned and doing this much research shows that something is up, once again, YOU are living with your brain. Even if those around you aren't so supportive, don't give up friend 😄
thank you @@haiyaaaxx8308 i haven't shown my mom a comparison. thats a good idea i will try to do that if she's willing to listen. also I'm pretty sure they only think of the stereotypes so it might be hard. I will check out the reddit you suggested. And I already watch those youtube videos, so I've gone down that rabbit hole! LOL.
I will do my best to not give up, and I'm close to getting a therapist. So hopefully that goes okay.
Even if it isn't this, at least I can say I already checked that research box and know it doesn't fit me.
1:45-1:50 I have a problem with this statement because it implies that all Autistic people internally have the same traits and differences in their behavior are only a result of their different masking strategies
Edit: for example, I never have the internal struggle of making eye contact correctly
8:40 That’s an interesting experience. I have actually noticed an opposite trend, drunk people acting more autistic.
9:28 That is not a pie chart. A pie chart shows how the entirety of something (e.g. all the students in a school) is divided up into categories (e.g. means of getting to school). What you’re showing here is essentially a column chart that was squished to be a circle
When people say they are "a little bit autistic," I suspect that they think they have some traits they associate with autism, but do not meet the diagnostic criteria for an ASD diagnosis. For example, I have a friend with more intense sensory sensitivities than I have, but he lacks the other components of an ASD diagnosis. He has one autistic trait. I wouldn't be offended if he claimed he was "a little bit autustic," despite not having all the traits needed for a diagnosis.
I have a spoon like that from the beginning, I only use it for ice cream or soft things like that because it makes it look pretty and wavey when I scoop it :>
That spoon is evil.
I work, and I definitely need to get diagnosed. I need support. Like, a lot of it. Someone please help. I love you all!
I've been employed... I loved it but it wasn't easy ever... I worked at many places but my longest time was at pizza hut where i worked wing street (i manned the fryer) every day that i could, for 3 to 5 hours (i started at 5pm and closed in the begining(them came the time cuts cuz i couldn't handle it)). I kept feeling so exhausted every day so there were days I called off(that and I was suffering from side affect of monthly antidepressant shot that caused me to get sick and vomit easily) the days I made it in to work were rewarding still and I had a couple of friends there. But after two years, I was so burnt out I couldn't do it anymore... I just wish I could have stayed and not felt so overwhelmed...😢 I regret leaving even though it isn't even my fault...
3:36 it’s also important to remember it’s not safe for everyone to get diagnosed. Me being diagnosed with autism could very quickly mean I lose access to my hrt. And as a trans person that hrt is a lifeline.
I mean people lose their kids and stuff during divorces and such because they’re autistic.
Wait how do u lose it? I’m autistic and nonbinary
0:14 does anyone know the song in the background please please please reply if you do *please*
Everytime i hear someone mention lining up toys, i get chills. Is this really that common amongst the community? Sometimes i wish i was born today because when i was a kid, no one even thought anything other than its weird thing i do.
Also, i have a sleeping bag folded in half on the floor and its MY seat, like everyone knows it. When i first started doing it, everyone asked why i did it. I told him, i want to be comfy while not being on the bare floor. If i want to spread out, i can. They dont even think about it anymore. But yea...all these "weird" things i do that everyone just went with im weird. Im self diagnosed and feel like a poser saying that, but yea...too many coincidences.
Was wondering the same but I only heard of this ONCE. You've heard of it multiple times??? 😮
@@vawkwardbat quite a few times now. Its the one thing my mom LOVES talking about thats so strange...yet she still doesnt see the link lol.
@@Rhaenarys im sorry to hear that your mum thinks it's so strange and brings it up a lot. Like who cares as long as you're sleeping happy and safe? Odd! My parents never shamed me for plushies, thank god. And neither does my fiancé. I don't think i could be with someone who doesn't let me have plushies in the bed, or think my collection is super strange. Ye he may not understand 100% but he supports it.
I actually recall being a teenager, surrounded by childish things in my room thinking "im never getting a boyfriend, am i?" XD but it didn't turn out true. Now me and my fiancé have a house full of childish things. Fuck it.
I hope you find people who appreciate you for you and let your 'strangeness' thrive 😊 xx
@@vawkwardbat oh! My mistake, she didnt shame me for it. It was more a curiosity thing for her. I never felt shame for it. But i DID notice i was the only one of mt friends to do it. Just never clicked that i might be on the spectrum. I also grew up in the era where girls couldnt be autistic, or so rare only the visibly noticed were acknowledged.
These comps give me more validation than real people ever could 😂
What it is like to be autistic and working...you move slower than your coworkers, you cannot integrate with your coworkers, and you cannot handle the work loads.
You've probably had a few jobs for a short amount of time, and never really felt like you were good at your job. If you're autistic like me, the working world is far to chaotic and fast for you.
0:02 i’m gonna go into a meltdown because of that spoon.
Hopefully going to get a diagnosis soon and having to deal with super masking because of ableist parents
You can just take your own plushie into the store! The greeter will just give you a sticker to put on them, or if your stuffy is really well loved, it's obvious that they aren't brand new, and therefore aren't stolen.
My brother with severe autism is Spanish, Okinawan, and Irish and smiles a lot.
**Looks around at all of my plushies that are lined up around the parameter of my bed and my sofa in response to this point about the autistic trait of having plushies lined up and nods in agreement** That could be a trait of autism - a neurological difference I have about which I received a professional diagnosis all those years ago.
I hadnt heard of the nesting thing! Hahaha. My nickname is horse, and I always call my bed, my little “horse nest”/“horse cocoon”. I used to do it with stuffed animals too but now it’s more like, I really have two nests -one that’s like a little cubby of all the things I need, and the other is the outer layer, which is like blankets and pillows and things🎠🪺
I might be a working autistic person. Me being able to work was a reason I thought I might not have it.
At a kid with ADHD I wonder if I have autism (because it one my special interest) and I see many Traits in me of Autism
At least half of people diagnosed autistic also have adhd, so maybe
Thank for the information 😊 now I have confidence (bc everyone tells me i don’t have Autism they said that abt my ADHD but guess what I have ADHD (diagnosed)
@@JaC.Animates good luck
2:04... Wait, thinking about that isn't "normal", I mean I know I am autistic, I recently had 3 different medical professionals come to the same conclusion after my reaction to a hate crime against me, and I only just found out yesterday in my late 30s after talking to my transphobic dad for the first time in 9 months, because of his reaction when I came out at as trans last year, that they actually had me tested as a young kid and I had been diagnosed as being autistic when I was a young kid just they never told me because they didn't want to believe it, that was annoying to find out that I had been struggling for so long which could have been a lot easier if I had just known and they knew the entire time. But anyways yeah I thought that eye contact percentages was conscious for even neurotypical people just they aren't as awkward at it, you mean to tell me that it is just automatic for neurotypical people like breathing is? I guess that explains why when I mentioned the difference in eye contact ratio between listening and talking the person I was talking to was like "I would never even think to look up the ratio"
Simon Baron Cohen, a behavioral scientist out of Cambridge, specializing in Autism has stated that people who are part of the LBGQT community are not likely to be autistic but they're not sure why. I know it messed with estrogen & testosterone.
7:30. Everything this woman is saying is everything I think all the time 😊
"but it really just points to us being descendants of hunters" gold 😂
8:41 wait… is being drunk as an autistic and suddenly feeling normal and comfortable around others what all of us experience?
OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF PICKING UP A PLUSHIE TO MAKE SHOPPING EASIER HOLY CANNOLI I WILL DO THAT FROM NOWWWWW
i love the last tiktok, it's very informational
The AI depiction at the end was genius