WFAA Original: Their lives were turned upside down because of a DNA test. Family secrets can't stay
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- One woman thought she was alone in finding out through a DNA test that her 'father' wasn't her real father. Turns out, it's more common than you think.
Good to see the truth coming to light and the importance of knowing where you are from and who you are, thank you!
It's really easy to be an armchair quarterback when it didn't happen to you. If this wasn't impactful, I wouldn't have 100 people a week coming to me asking for refuge from something that has absolutely devastated them to their core. I can easily forgive the indifferent comments here, because before I found out it happened to me, I would have probably felt the same as all of these calloused commenters. There but by the Grace of God go you. You don't have to understand. But, how about showing some kindness to those who are genuinely hurting? If you can't be kind - BE SILENT.
Sometimes I wonder... People tell me I look like I could be 'this' and 'that' all the time.
My oldest brother and sister are mix vietnamese and mexican.
And I'm mexican, as far as I know.
I’m sorry, but does it really matter who the biological father is? Because there’s so much time lost that it really doesn’t seem to matter in the end. It’s about who’s been there from the beginning. Remember when people used to live their lives privately? I do. And this just screams “pitty me”.
The sheep have been trained by socialized media to give up their privacy.
It does matter. I'm an NPE. We have the right to know our health histories and our lineage. We need to know about immediate relatives to avoid inadvertent consanguineous relationships. And many of us, including myself, grew up in families where we don't "fit in". We look different, we don't have the same talents and personalities, and we often feel like black sheep since childhood and assume there is just something wrong with us.
My relationship with my birth certificate father hasn't changed. But finding my biological father was, in a surreal way, like coming home. I finally LOOKED like someone. I found out where many of my personality traits and interests, the ones that made some in my birth certificate family refer to me as a "weird bird", came from. And I discovered that there was a reason I had always felt an affinity for the language and culture of a different ethnic group than the one in which I was raised--because it was literally in my blood.
The simple answer is YES. It REALLY matters. Imagine going to your doctor and having to tell her/him that half of your medical history is now erased.
Imagine discovering that you were actually stolen and sold into an illegal adoption ring. It is not that uncommon.
Imagine you spent your entire life being treated differently than your siblings by the man who raised you and always feeling like you were unworthy. These NPE's actually feel a sense of relief in a way because they have a valid explanation now for their dad's treatment. And, they have peace now knowing it was TOTALLY beyond their control.
I'm sorry if it screams pity me to you. The last thing any of us want is pity. We aren't victims. We are simply wanting to know WHO we are... where we came from... where is our tribe. Until this happened, I took for granted that I was my parent's biological child. To have one's identity shattered knocks you off your feet. All we want is to know who we are. But, because of social indoctrination about the sanctity of marriage and monogamy and the image of the perfect family, so many biological families run the other direction - frightened - "what will others think about dad?!?" It already happened, and that was 50 years ago. Let's focus not on "stigma" or "image." Let's focus instead on reality. I exist. I'm a wonderful member of society. I am not going away. I deserve to know my origins - something that I PROMISE you - you take for granted as easily as you do oxygen to breathe. Instead of viewing the presence of a newly discovered relative as something to be embarrassed about, how about instead seeing this as an opportunity to meet someone you have a real connection with? Someone who just might end up being one of your closest friends for the rest of your life. That's up to you.