Hey lovely peeps, I normally don't comment. But I was reading all the comments and thought maybe I can help some of you. For the people who don't know how to hold a conversation: the very best tip I can give you is be actually interested in the person you are talking to. That's it! Be actually interested in who this person is, what he/she likes, why they do what they do, how do they feel about that, what is their actual dream if they were really honest and why, etc... Believe me, everybody can talk about themselves for a whole night when they feel like the other one is actually interested. Just be interested in who this person is without judging beforehand. And if you have a commonality, bond on that part tell your own story about it. And then after just go back to asking them about their life, their childhood, favorite holiday spot (and why). If someone says I love spain -> ask why etc.. This also will make you less scared to have a conversation because you don't have to worry about having an interesting personality (which is the main reason people are scared when talking to people). Just try it out, it will change your lives, hopefully😅
Use your everyday opportunities to get better at talking. One of the easiest ways I got over my shyness was strinking up convos with people in line, be store, restaurant, whatever. Cashiers... every opportunity to practice
My Best Tips: 1. Act as if you’ve known the person for years and they know a lot about you, even your awkward moments. That way, you’re not “proving” anything to them, just casually talking, blocking out the fear of judgement. (This is the best one) 2. Overthinking is our enemy. Just say whatever comes in mind immediately. 8/10 it’s your natural charisma before overthinking interrupts it. 2/10 you may say something awkward or something you shouldn’t have said, but it’s always worth the risk. Either you say something good, bad, or you freeze from overthinking. 3. Act as if your best friend is with you or in another room close by. Me personally, I feel more charismatic when I’m talking to someone with my friend(s) by my side or in groups rather than by myself. Having this thought in the back of my mind sometimes eases off the awkwardness. 4. Act as if you genuinely want to know this person or kindly acknowledge them, not just forcing small talk. 5. Be a good listener. Have good eye contact, sounds, expressions, etc. but PLEASE do not over do it or do it consciously.
Working in retail as a teenager was an education on how to interact with various personalities. But it’s something that you constantly learn and develop over your lifetime.
I once came across these great tips that really helped me become more likeable and social: 1. Make eye contact and appear interested in what theyre saying 2. Ask them at least 3 open ended questions so that they talk more about themselves 3. Find at least one thing in common with the person 4. Say their name back to them at least once and before you leave 5. Give them at least one compliment
the problem with me is my self awareness and awareness in general. I catch the micro expressions when people give that "why is this guy here (or still here or why is this guy here at all)" look but i try to ignore things like that and not let it get to me. I know most of this stuff is "in your head" but sometimes its really how it is.
So what if that is what they actually think? The people who react negatively will react that way no matter what. You don't need validation from people who don't appreciate you. Get it from people who actually do appreciate you for being you.
I just learned to talk to people how I talk to a close friend instead of putting them on a pedestal and trying to prove my worth to them. Did the trick for me
i firmly believe that being self conscious about your conversation skills will always make u awkward. Just act naturally and joke whenever a joke pops up in your head.
YES! This is something I’ve learned too. Just say whatever comes in mind immediately. 8/10 it’s your natural charisma before overthinking interrupts it. 2/10 you may say something awkward or something you shouldn’t have said, but it’s always worth the risk. Either you say something good, bad, or you freeze from overthinking.
Haha I've been there before. The best way I have found to be comfortable around them and to get them comfortable around you is to IMMEDIATELY introduce yourself when you meet them and to try your best to jump into conversation instead of sitting there quietly
@@Avidcommentor32 well you are trying to insert yourself into them. In the scenario the original comment is talking about you are there because you have a friend in the group so you are meant to be there. If they are talking you shouldn’t feel worried about hopping in the conversation
talked about my desire to be more open and less worried about people's judgements with my therapist today, and here comes this video of a neat trick to achieve just that. our phones do be listening lol
No joke the exact same thing just happened to me. Not even an hour ago I was telling my fiancé how I feel like I have no friends since moving and don’t know how to talk to people lol
That’s old news. Phones can read your mind now. I’ve had random thoughts that I have never spoke or searched on the internet pop up as an ad immediately after. This has happened multiple times and it’s not a coincidence
It’s moments like these- when I’m scrolling on RUclips and come across a smaller channel - it reminds me that there are good people out there still , just waiting to be found and have their art appreciated. In this case it’s you and your advice videos. I hope no matter how many subs you get one of these days, that it doesn’t change the types of genuine messages you wanna give. Thanks for such a deep and powerful video. Would love to see even more on the subject of social anxiety/ insecurities that hold people back from just living their life
One of the best comments I've gotten. I am grateful you took the time to leave it. I plan to keep posting videos like this and I hope it doesn't change from that as well. I am sure they will change with time, but the overall structure and intent I plan to keep the same! I have a good bit of other videos on insecurity in a playlist called "Confidence and Mindsets" and social skills videos in one called "Social Skills" if you want to check some out.
@@devmaurello sounds like I’ll be a regular viewer every week 🤟🏻 I’ve seen a few others of your videos on the subject of confidence , and you really do have every video mean something to you. It’s something you can feel through the screen- that you aren’t being fake and really wanna help people. Keep it going, not everyone has that selflessness
I always say I'm not scared to do this "flirt with the world" tactic but as soon as the moment strikes, and I actually have a plan of what I want to say, part of me just says "naaaaahh". I think the positives far outweigh the negatives, so I'm not gonna let those thoughts get in the way. Thanks man, subbed!
That's part of the process. It can be pretty intimidating at first so your brain tries to convince you not to. Do it 2-3 times and it'll be like nothing for you! Hope you try it.
i think an important part you mentioned is how it makes other peoples day better when you “flirt with the world” or engage with them. often i’d feel uncomfortable like a nuisance but in reality you’re often doing good for others and yourself. Almost owe it to the world to make other peoples days just a little bit better. Flirting to me is really just showing interest and putting out feelers to see if they like you back. Flirting is zero risk because worst case they show no interest and you can let them be. In my opinion this is much better than being super direct and asking for a number or asking someone to be a friend without easing into it. Great video, i like how you showed a real example of you putting it into practice in a little way!
Just start talking to people. You get better as time goes on. I got a job recently where I’m on the phone a lot and it has helped me exponentially. You can’t think your way out of an overthinking problem. Take action.
As a teen in high school at the minute with minimum friends, as well as not being able to make any new friends or conversations, I have found this video very motivating to try harder and relax more, so thank you bro
yep this is all so damn true. Great vid. Talking is a brain a muscle that you need to train so you should practise on everyone at all times, even the easy targets like 80 plus year olds. You can learn so much from them as you're levelling up. Win win.
Don't know why this popped in my RUclips world but I'm glad it did. It's a great short on very important advice. I flirt with the world naturally and have done since I could speak but realise some people find it hard. I think my 16 year old son could use this as a great tool. My family always say I'm extra(too much info and interaction ) but I love making people smile and it's definitely made life easier in difficult times. It helps me in my job of working with children because communication is absolutely essential and I love building rapport with them and seeing them communicate their opinions and feelings especially the ones who initially find that hard. Thank you from England.
hi everyone, I started commenting on vids since today lol. This kind of videos make me feel empowered, I feel like I can do it. The thing is that I live in a small town and everyone knows everything about every person of the city and I feel scared about going out and about. anyway thanks Devin for sharing this content, you have a new subscriber!
This is so true, particularly if you're trying to attract and flirt with a girl you like. If you don't practice with other people you're not attracted to then you're less likely to pull it off with that girl you like.
I am an introvert who turned into and sociable person and all he said is right. Even if some people reject you it doesn't mean everyone does that because from my experience most people like to socialise whenever they get the chance and only few people are the ones who hate talking to people. one incident was when I was in a sports shop and a woman came with her son buying swimming goggles and as I had some experience I told her of a certain type which I tried and was good but she replied "who asked for your opinion?". My younger self would have thought that I'm awkward and been scared from taking to people for a whole year after that incident but my new self knew that that woman was rude and the problem wasn't that I was awkward, and literally less than 2 minutes later I befriended a foreign guy in the exact same shop.
Big ups, Devin. I've always been someone who's good with talking, but bad with starting the conversation. What you've said is incredibly valuable, thank you.
From what ive learned with practicing to be better at socialising is that nobody truly cares about you, they care about themselves, so ur only objective is to ask them questions and act genuinely interested in them even if ur not. They dont want to know about you, unless they notice somethjng of value such as big muscles they might be interested in how u attained that but its still from a selfish perspective because they only want to know so they can use the advice for themselves. Nobody cares about you. Which is good because most of us are boring af and if we had to talk about ourselves we'd be socially screwed. So just ask questions and let the extroverts talk away
Same here I used to be the quiet kid in the back of the class and played video games by himself Now after working frontend retail for a year I've already made insane progress
that is correct using term "shy" because being quiet or introvert is not wrong. we tryna improve the character not change "personality". im introvert but the reason i dont socialize is not because im shy but because human drains me slot specially assholes. but when i talk with others i have confidence most but not always. keep up as long you enjoy and helps you, it is not being extrovert but being confident with talking with others
The thing is that I’m not “shy” I’m just a socially awkward extrovert. Like I love talking to people and meeting new people, just when it gets to conversation, uh oh, you know.
as a person who worked behind the counter at a gas station, I have been in that same interaction 50+ times. Reality is they hear the same shit all day and they just want a quick interaction unless you actually come in drunk and give them a laugh. Motivational though, big ups!
I can relate to this and I’ve been using the same strategy for a few years now without even realising it and how I talk to people in public has improved a lot, not everyone is out there to get you people are actually quite nice haha
This just summed up 'Quiet'', the book I'm reading right now. The world just can't stand introverts and let them be. You have to mold your personality, train yourself, put on a mask etc., just to ''fit in''. Advice itself is very well worded and definitely works, but I'm kind of over this narrative that I have to chase this social approval, that I'm not allowed to mind my own business without being viewed as ''a weirdo'''.
As a late diagnosed autistic guy that learnt socializing. Its hard as fuck. I learnt that alot of people just dont like me and learing and accepting that helps me socializing.
To be fair though, this guy is really really good looking, and that really helps build confidence and makes it easier to talk to people. Not everyone is so lucky unfortunately, lol.
Like you said, it’s tough to not let it affect you and not take it personally if sometimes the other person isn’t vibing or giving you anything back but it’s important to keep doing it. Need to keep in mind people are gonna be having a bad day, or just not on your wavelength, and of course plenty of people are shy just like you are! When you get those good interactions it massively outweighs the bad ones.
When I worked as a cashier I was definitely a bit more social. But when I left retail I became quiet again lol. So yeah consistency and practice is def key
Energy is in everything, everywhere. Energy is a part of nature, and we are nature. I feel like you shouldn’t have to force yourself, but just be aware of how your energy is and how might the other individual might feel.
the gas station interaction was so wholesome omg.. flirt with the world.. great advice I find myself fearing that people will get the wrong impression if i'm too "flirty" ??
Hmm I could see that. If that happens just let them know they took it the wrong way. But flirty doesn’t necessarily have to be in that sense, it’s really just being playful and lighthearted and being yourself. Bring a positive energy basically
working as a cashier actually helped me talk to people more freely and not feel shy i do feel it sometimes but its not as much as in the past, id say challenge yourself take small steps
one of my problems is not being able to come up with something to say that'd be playful like how you did with the cashier. I think I can come up with some random general questions but there’d be no “flirtatiousness” to them
I’d say it’s more about how you say it than what you say. I said something playful because being playful is a big part of my personality, but as you do it more often you come up with things to say easier. It doesn’t necessarily have to be flirtatious, the main thing here is that you are actually having a social interaction when you usually wouldn’t. As you do it more just say whatever comes to mind and be experimental with it.
My coworker always ended his phone calls with "Did anyone tell you you're doing a great job today?" they'd say no and he'd say "Well you're doing a great job." and it always put a smile on my face. Crazy positivity. Maybe a good line for when someone is serving you at a gas station or restaurant
That’s like exactly what I do I literally flirt with everyone and seeing it through that lens helps me so much. I love seeing someone that gets it, and knowing that someone is carrying the purpose to inspire others 🤘subscribeeeed
The issue I have is that I don’t have anything to say. Seriously, I have nothing to talk about and end up just staying quiet till people go away. I’m not shy I just don’t have anything to say.
I'm in the same boat. It sucks because other people seem to so easily have spontaneous thoughts while I just have none. And when I do try to let some out they just come off as out of context and awkward, whereas other people seem to light up a whole room with their spontaneous thoughts. I don't get it.
Why am I just seeing this after a firework show I went to alone with a bunch of people near me who I didn’t say a thing to lmao. Walked up confident and just stood like a weirdo waiting for fireworks to start. I gotta watch this everyday to remind myself to try to interact more
One of the most attractive things to people is confidence. That’s why dickhead/douchebags are able to attract women. Look at them. Not all of them are really physically attractive to society’s standards.
Honestly I’m just worried about people knowing too much about me. I do really bad with judgement when people make fun of me, if I’m not prepared for it I usually get crushed, which is why I probably come off as standoffish
@@MotoRem99 how many strangers you're talking to every day. And about what topics your conversation based on if you're meeting the person for the first time?
because of my shyness, when I go out I wear a very closed and cold face like a shield. I though every one guess "that guy is inconfortable" but people think "he has a bad day, he has no time, he is angry" And this face is like a closed door. You have no interaction with it. But if someone do a little joke or start small talk with a little humor, all disapear ^^ those social skills... hard to work on it at the beginning. Thanks for the motivation.
Yes just be more playful when talking, doesn't mean you need to be so weird but just however you can talk and be okay with laughing and just have a good time and don't worry about rejection
i feel pathetic because i dont have alot of homies to hang out with. i have alot of girl friends and i cant just brush them off, their chill people. but i just wanna do dude things and be a dude with dudes. shit i find myself being scared to even ask “hows your day” after someone even asks me. ill say “im good” then ill go on. im also horrible at roasting people back, so i chuckle and tell them to shut up in a funny way. what do we think gang, am i cooked for life? edit: shit thanks for the advice guys, im late but thanks dev
You're not cooked bro don't worry lol. You pretty much gave yourself the answer to your problem. You said you find yourself being scared to even ask someone how their day is. All you need to do is push yourself out of your comfort zone and overcome that fear. Go about your day with the intent of talking to some guys that you feel like you'd want to be cool with and just say whatever comes to mind. I meet most of my new friends at the gym and I will walk up to guys I have never even seen before and be like "Damn bro, your arms are massive" and boom, basically friends now. Talk to them every time I see them.
Nah bro you’re in a good position. For most dudes it’s way harder to talk to girls than guys. Just ask a dude about sports or video games straight up and you’ll find friends. Literally ask someone to play your favorite game with them online and boom u probably got a friend lol.
Hey man I liked the video a lot. It kinda felt like I was getting custom tailored advice even though it’s just a RUclips video. The whole flirting with the world thing seems like a really good idea and I’ve been trying it out a bit since watching. That part where you ask the guy “you ever tried these before” and tell him “I’ll blame you if I don’t like them” and he laughs really appealed to me and made me want to get better at talking to people. I have a few questions I wanted to ask you though. One thing I wanted to know is how do you come up with these things to talk about? That was just small talk, but it seemed a million times better than “enjoying the weather?” I never really know what to say when I try to approach people, but that conversation seemed perfect and like it just came to you naturally. Another thing I wanted to ask is how to control the tone of your voice better. I could relate to you when you mentioned that you barely ever spoke in school and you lost your social skills a bit. I wondered if you ended up with the same problem as me where you start to lose control over the tone of your voice and it ends up being monotone all the time. For that reason every time I try to joke around with people or etc. they just kinda go “what?” or “huh?” like I was making a statement or asking a question or something.
Those are some good questions. I'll probably make a video soon on the first question you asked about how I know what to talk about. In short, I guess I'd say to just be in the moment and don't sit there and overthink what to say. Just say whatever comes to mind. If you sound dumb, then oh well, it's not like you aren't about to leave anyway lol. Talking to people is just like any other skill. The more you do it the better you will get at it, so if you keep practicing the whole flirting with the world thing, eventually things to say will just come to you like it did to me in the video. Me saying, "I'll blame you if I don't like them" was me just being me. I am a very playful person and tease my friends a lot, so even though he was a stranger I still acted like myself and teased him, that's one of the biggest pieces of advice I can give you is to be yourself and let your personality shine even if it's a stranger. As for the tone of voice thing, I actually did struggle with that a good bit. I didn't have a problem with it around my friends, but when I was talking to people I didn't know I was very monotone. Honestly the only way to fix that is by being consciously aware of it when you are talking to people and forcing yourself to change tone while you are speaking. Eventually it will become a habit and you won't have to think about it. Also, it's pretty hard to be monotone when you are smiling so don't be afraid to show emotion in your face when you are talking.
i have social anxiety, i feel like i’m not interesting enough to talk with people & honestly scared of someone being mean if i ever tried to talk first with them
Another point is that whenever you talk to someone and it feels a bit awkward try adding some humour (or better to start the whole conversation with a bit of humour). Like he did in the gas station he made a small joke and made that guy laugh. If someone laughs and talks back he is probably interested in taking so you may keep going if you would like but if they are not they might fake a smile or even joke a bit but not talk. That's when you know you should stop.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
Hey lovely peeps, I normally don't comment. But I was reading all the comments and thought maybe I can help some of you.
For the people who don't know how to hold a conversation: the very best tip I can give you is be actually interested in the person you are talking to. That's it! Be actually interested in who this person is, what he/she likes, why they do what they do, how do they feel about that, what is their actual dream if they were really honest and why, etc... Believe me, everybody can talk about themselves for a whole night when they feel like the other one is actually interested. Just be interested in who this person is without judging beforehand. And if you have a commonality, bond on that part tell your own story about it. And then after just go back to asking them about their life, their childhood, favorite holiday spot (and why). If someone says I love spain -> ask why etc..
This also will make you less scared to have a conversation because you don't have to worry about having an interesting personality (which is the main reason people are scared when talking to people). Just try it out, it will change your lives, hopefully😅
it really makes senses, thank you
Then they didnt even ask me, they just answered the question, it made me feel boring
*what they like, not “he/she”.
realll
@@20000dinoit’s he/she that’s it, what else is there?
Its the tiny ass channels that feel like the real hidden gems
Its the tiny ass ̶c̶h̶a̶n̶n̶e̶l̶s that feel like the real hidden gems
@@gravelor78 😂😂
True, I've had the same realization
@@gravelor78😭😭😭
Facts
Try and talk to people like you’ve known them for years. Don’t be too afraid of what they’ll think of you
That’s what I do
This is great advice. Thank you
@@coltonc8894To an EXTENT. But be authentic, because then it makes life easier in the long run.
That’s a great advice, you should make your own channel 😂.
@@nanayawmain I’ve thought about that. But I like spreading info in the comments. My video making skills are not exactly sharp
“Flirting” with the world is being joyful and trying to bring that joy out of others.
Use your everyday opportunities to get better at talking. One of the easiest ways I got over my shyness was strinking up convos with people in line, be store, restaurant, whatever. Cashiers... every opportunity to practice
Love this
My Best Tips:
1. Act as if you’ve known the person for years and they know a lot about you, even your awkward moments. That way, you’re not “proving” anything to them, just casually talking, blocking out the fear of judgement. (This is the best one)
2. Overthinking is our enemy. Just say whatever comes in mind immediately. 8/10 it’s your natural charisma before overthinking interrupts it. 2/10 you may say something awkward or something you shouldn’t have said, but it’s always worth the risk. Either you say something good, bad, or you freeze from overthinking.
3. Act as if your best friend is with you or in another room close by. Me personally, I feel more charismatic when I’m talking to someone with my friend(s) by my side or in groups rather than by myself. Having this thought in the back of my mind sometimes eases off the awkwardness.
4. Act as if you genuinely want to know this person or kindly acknowledge them, not just forcing small talk.
5. Be a good listener. Have good eye contact, sounds, expressions, etc. but PLEASE do not over do it or do it consciously.
Idc what you say man you got that gas station worker blushing, giggling and kicking his feet 🤣
😂
lol you got that man blushing 🥰😂😂😂
LOL he's the homie now. I've gone back and talked to him a couple of times haha
@@devmaurelloyou should go on a date.
If he made me pay 4$ for a protein bar imagine how much I’d be spending on a date ☹️
@@devmaurellothat’s fine.. it doesn’t have to be fancy date..😁
@@devmaurelloI will pay if are the date😂❤
Working in retail as a teenager was an education on how to interact with various personalities. But it’s something that you constantly learn and develop over your lifetime.
Working in retail made me not want to deal with people at all lol
@manzer41 lol gave me the skills but took away the desire
@@manzer41 tbh I didn't care abt talking to customers, most of the time if I was on the register I just tried to get them out as fast as possible.
Same but if it’s a bad day or im feeling bad all those skills just go out the window, esp on those days that im not working or going out somewhere😭😭
Working in fast food wasn’t that bad honestly people were really nice more often than not
I once came across these great tips that really helped me become more likeable and social:
1. Make eye contact and appear interested in what theyre saying
2. Ask them at least 3 open ended questions so that they talk more about themselves
3. Find at least one thing in common with the person
4. Say their name back to them at least once and before you leave
5. Give them at least one compliment
No one:
Literally, No one:
Me: "have you went to krispy kreme? is it krispy?"
😂 good question tbh
is it kreamy?
@@Kontaras987 and a bit salty.
OH MY GOSH I LITERALLY JUST DID THIS TO SOMEONE 😭 what a coincidence
@@David.124 I hope that someone you don't know.
I’m 23 with low self esteem social anxiety all that bs and im sick of it. Thanks for this
the problem with me is my self awareness and awareness in general. I catch the micro expressions when people give that "why is this guy here (or still here or why is this guy here at all)" look but i try to ignore things like that and not let it get to me. I know most of this stuff is "in your head" but sometimes its really how it is.
That's insecurity caused when brain is rotted, mostly due to consuming porn.
But if we continue with what Devin’s saying that’s cuz you’re far with 100. Once charismatic, less and less will respond that way
real
So what if that is what they actually think? The people who react negatively will react that way no matter what. You don't need validation from people who don't appreciate you. Get it from people who actually do appreciate you for being you.
The key is it doesn't matter what people think , do whatever you want , say what ever you want
I just learned to talk to people how I talk to a close friend instead of putting them on a pedestal and trying to prove my worth to them. Did the trick for me
Yep
What cured my shyness was just trying new things and improving my life like working out making changes like that.
i firmly believe that being self conscious about your conversation skills will always make u awkward. Just act naturally and joke whenever a joke pops up in your head.
YES! This is something I’ve learned too. Just say whatever comes in mind immediately. 8/10 it’s your natural charisma before overthinking interrupts it. 2/10 you may say something awkward or something you shouldn’t have said, but it’s always worth the risk. Either you say something good, bad, or you freeze from overthinking.
Always feel awkward being the 1 guy of a friend then being introduced to all his people that know each other for years
Haha I've been there before. The best way I have found to be comfortable around them and to get them comfortable around you is to IMMEDIATELY introduce yourself when you meet them and to try your best to jump into conversation instead of sitting there quietly
@@devmaurello I have had similar problems jumping into convos. I'm worried it'll look like I'm trying to insert myself into them.
@@Avidcommentor32 well you are trying to insert yourself into them. In the scenario the original comment is talking about you are there because you have a friend in the group so you are meant to be there. If they are talking you shouldn’t feel worried about hopping in the conversation
I love small RUclips channels like this. There’s such great people out there making solid content
talked about my desire to be more open and less worried about people's judgements with my therapist today, and here comes this video of a neat trick to achieve just that. our phones do be listening lol
I’m about to start getting ads for a therapist now
No joke the exact same thing just happened to me. Not even an hour ago I was telling my fiancé how I feel like I have no friends since moving and don’t know how to talk to people lol
That’s old news. Phones can read your mind now. I’ve had random thoughts that I have never spoke or searched on the internet pop up as an ad immediately after. This has happened multiple times and it’s not a coincidence
Be flirty and playful with the world... good wisdom bro!
It’s moments like these- when I’m scrolling on RUclips and come across a smaller channel - it reminds me that there are good people out there still , just waiting to be found and have their art appreciated. In this case it’s you and your advice videos. I hope no matter how many subs you get one of these days, that it doesn’t change the types of genuine messages you wanna give. Thanks for such a deep and powerful video. Would love to see even more on the subject of social anxiety/ insecurities that hold people back from just living their life
One of the best comments I've gotten. I am grateful you took the time to leave it. I plan to keep posting videos like this and I hope it doesn't change from that as well. I am sure they will change with time, but the overall structure and intent I plan to keep the same! I have a good bit of other videos on insecurity in a playlist called "Confidence and Mindsets" and social skills videos in one called "Social Skills" if you want to check some out.
@@devmaurello sounds like I’ll be a regular viewer every week 🤟🏻 I’ve seen a few others of your videos on the subject of confidence , and you really do have every video mean something to you. It’s something you can feel through the screen- that you aren’t being fake and really wanna help people. Keep it going, not everyone has that selflessness
"Flirt with the world" is putting it pretty well. Thank you!
I always say I'm not scared to do this "flirt with the world" tactic but as soon as the moment strikes, and I actually have a plan of what I want to say, part of me just says "naaaaahh". I think the positives far outweigh the negatives, so I'm not gonna let those thoughts get in the way. Thanks man, subbed!
That's part of the process. It can be pretty intimidating at first so your brain tries to convince you not to. Do it 2-3 times and it'll be like nothing for you! Hope you try it.
i think an important part you mentioned is how it makes other peoples day better when you “flirt with the world” or engage with them. often i’d feel uncomfortable like a nuisance but in reality you’re often doing good for others and yourself. Almost owe it to the world to make other peoples days just a little bit better. Flirting to me is really just showing interest and putting out feelers to see if they like you back. Flirting is zero risk because worst case they show no interest and you can let them be. In my opinion this is much better than being super direct and asking for a number or asking someone to be a friend without easing into it. Great video, i like how you showed a real example of you putting it into practice in a little way!
Just start talking to people. You get better as time goes on. I got a job recently where I’m on the phone a lot and it has helped me exponentially. You can’t think your way out of an overthinking problem. Take action.
As a teen in high school at the minute with minimum friends, as well as not being able to make any new friends or conversations, I have found this video very motivating to try harder and relax more, so thank you bro
my man's grinning like a cheshire cat!!
Great video
yep this is all so damn true. Great vid. Talking is a brain a muscle that you need to train so you should practise on everyone at all times, even the easy targets like 80 plus year olds. You can learn so much from them as you're levelling up. Win win.
Don't know why this popped in my RUclips world but I'm glad it did. It's a great short on very important advice.
I flirt with the world naturally and have done since I could speak but realise some people find it hard. I think my 16 year old son could use this as a great tool. My family always say I'm extra(too much info and interaction ) but I love making people smile and it's definitely made life easier in difficult times. It helps me in my job of working with children because communication is absolutely essential and I love building rapport with them and seeing them communicate their opinions and feelings especially the ones who initially find that hard. Thank you from England.
This is a good habit to be in, i also like making observations, "well you seem in good spirits today" etc. people love opening up
hi everyone, I started commenting on vids since today lol. This kind of videos make me feel empowered, I feel like I can do it. The thing is that I live in a small town and everyone knows everything about every person of the city and I feel scared about going out and about. anyway thanks Devin for sharing this content, you have a new subscriber!
i wish I knew more guys open this about shyness
You made that man smile inside
This is so true, particularly if you're trying to attract and flirt with a girl you like. If you don't practice with other people you're not attracted to then you're less likely to pull it off with that girl you like.
I am an introvert who turned into and sociable person and all he said is right. Even if some people reject you it doesn't mean everyone does that because from my experience most people like to socialise whenever they get the chance and only few people are the ones who hate talking to people. one incident was when I was in a sports shop and a woman came with her son buying swimming goggles and as I had some experience I told her of a certain type which I tried and was good but she replied "who asked for your opinion?". My younger self would have thought that I'm awkward and been scared from taking to people for a whole year after that incident but my new self knew that that woman was rude and the problem wasn't that I was awkward, and literally less than 2 minutes later I befriended a foreign guy in the exact same shop.
Big ups, Devin. I've always been someone who's good with talking, but bad with starting the conversation. What you've said is incredibly valuable, thank you.
From what ive learned with practicing to be better at socialising is that nobody truly cares about you, they care about themselves, so ur only objective is to ask them questions and act genuinely interested in them even if ur not. They dont want to know about you, unless they notice somethjng of value such as big muscles they might be interested in how u attained that but its still from a selfish perspective because they only want to know so they can use the advice for themselves. Nobody cares about you. Which is good because most of us are boring af and if we had to talk about ourselves we'd be socially screwed. So just ask questions and let the extroverts talk away
all you need to do is work in retail, as much as I hated it, I'm able to talk to people very easily now
worked in retail for 3+ years and still have this guys exact problem lol but i’m working on it as well and making progress thankfully
@@michaeltawadrous1862 well what position were you working at? i worked as a bagger and a cashier which consists of talking to people all day
Same here I used to be the quiet kid in the back of the class and played video games by himself
Now after working frontend retail for a year I've already made insane progress
im gonna work in retail hopefully it helps my social skills
The way u got that guy all flustered n shit like...😁🙄😏 he was low key in to it 😂
that is correct using term "shy" because being quiet or introvert is not wrong. we tryna improve the character not change "personality". im introvert but the reason i dont socialize is not because im shy but because human drains me slot specially assholes. but when i talk with others i have confidence most but not always. keep up as long you enjoy and helps you, it is not being extrovert but being confident with talking with others
The thing is that I’m not “shy” I’m just a socially awkward extrovert. Like I love talking to people and meeting new people, just when it gets to conversation, uh oh, you know.
as a person who worked behind the counter at a gas station, I have been in that same interaction 50+ times. Reality is they hear the same shit all day and they just want a quick interaction unless you actually come in drunk and give them a laugh. Motivational though, big ups!
I can relate to this and I’ve been using the same strategy for a few years now without even realising it and how I talk to people in public has improved a lot, not everyone is out there to get you people are actually quite nice haha
This just summed up 'Quiet'', the book I'm reading right now. The world just can't stand introverts and let them be. You have to mold your personality, train yourself, put on a mask etc., just to ''fit in''. Advice itself is very well worded and definitely works, but I'm kind of over this narrative that I have to chase this social approval, that I'm not allowed to mind my own business without being viewed as ''a weirdo'''.
I'm obsessed with the influx of channels giving life-changing advice
As a late diagnosed autistic guy that learnt socializing. Its hard as fuck. I learnt that alot of people just dont like me and learing and accepting that helps me socializing.
I don't know why this video appeared in my recommended feed, but maan, I really needed it. Thanks, sir!
To be fair though, this guy is really really good looking, and that really helps build confidence and makes it easier to talk to people. Not everyone is so lucky unfortunately, lol.
Like you said, it’s tough to not let it affect you and not take it personally if sometimes the other person isn’t vibing or giving you anything back but it’s important to keep doing it. Need to keep in mind people are gonna be having a bad day, or just not on your wavelength, and of course plenty of people are shy just like you are! When you get those good interactions it massively outweighs the bad ones.
When I worked as a cashier I was definitely a bit more social. But when I left retail I became quiet again lol. So yeah consistency and practice is def key
I certainly don't have a problem with socializing I just realized that some people are very picky with who they conversate with.
Energy is in everything, everywhere. Energy is a part of nature, and we are nature. I feel like you shouldn’t have to force yourself, but just be aware of how your energy is and how might the other individual might feel.
Talk about the universe sending me exactly what was needed when needed. Thank you for this bro. ❤😁
Fr bro a day later but seriously
the gas station interaction was so wholesome omg.. flirt with the world.. great advice
I find myself fearing that people will get the wrong impression if i'm too "flirty" ??
Hmm I could see that. If that happens just let them know they took it the wrong way. But flirty doesn’t necessarily have to be in that sense, it’s really just being playful and lighthearted and being yourself. Bring a positive energy basically
Floating with the world.
Damn. Thanks buddy, I'd definitely try this out soon
he said flirting
This is absolutely golden advice. Great video man. Thanks for this.
working as a cashier actually helped me talk to people more freely and not feel shy i do feel it sometimes but its not as much as in the past, id say challenge yourself take small steps
one of my problems is not being able to come up with something to say that'd be playful like how you did with the cashier. I think I can come up with some random general questions but there’d be no “flirtatiousness” to them
I’d say it’s more about how you say it than what you say. I said something playful because being playful is a big part of my personality, but as you do it more often you come up with things to say easier. It doesn’t necessarily have to be flirtatious, the main thing here is that you are actually having a social interaction when you usually wouldn’t. As you do it more just say whatever comes to mind and be experimental with it.
@@devmaurello Alright thank you Devin, much appreciated!
keep doing it non stop, you're gonna start getting creative trust me
My coworker always ended his phone calls with "Did anyone tell you you're doing a great job today?" they'd say no and he'd say "Well you're doing a great job." and it always put a smile on my face. Crazy positivity. Maybe a good line for when someone is serving you at a gas station or restaurant
@yesteryearr i'll def be using that one. Thanks for sharing!
That’s like exactly what I do I literally flirt with everyone and seeing it through that lens helps me so much. I love seeing someone that gets it, and knowing that someone is carrying the purpose to inspire others 🤘subscribeeeed
How do you start?
My problem is I’m not good at small talk. I never know what to say so then I feel like it’s just awkward silence
Same
Listen to other people talk/small talk, it helps so so much. It gives you ideas on how to respond(:
good talk man. our generation needs this
The issue I have is that I don’t have anything to say. Seriously, I have nothing to talk about and end up just staying quiet till people go away.
I’m not shy I just don’t have anything to say.
I'm in the same boat. It sucks because other people seem to so easily have spontaneous thoughts while I just have none. And when I do try to let some out they just come off as out of context and awkward, whereas other people seem to light up a whole room with their spontaneous thoughts. I don't get it.
You earned yourself a follower
Great video
Bro that guy was really liking it 😂😂😂😂
Why am I just seeing this after a firework show I went to alone with a bunch of people near me who I didn’t say a thing to lmao. Walked up confident and just stood like a weirdo waiting for fireworks to start.
I gotta watch this everyday to remind myself to try to interact more
i will walk by faith and not by sight
This is great if you want ppl to talk to you. I don't so I will stick to please and thank you, have a good day.
This is good advice- I enjoy your channel! Thanks!
It’s good advise, I have social anxiety bad
One important point is that you are very good looking dude and people don't assume you're awkward. Try being ugly lol.
You only think you’re ugly.
You are beautiful no matter what you look like ❤
One of the most attractive things to people is confidence. That’s why dickhead/douchebags are able to attract women. Look at them. Not all of them are really physically attractive to society’s standards.
Prob is … I don’t care if ppl like me or not , don’t need lots of friends to feel good about myself
Honestly I’m just worried about people knowing too much about me. I do really bad with judgement when people make fun of me, if I’m not prepared for it I usually get crushed, which is why I probably come off as standoffish
Im going to start doing this tomorrow, thanks for the info bro.
How's the progress man?
@@Erenyy Life changing
@@MotoRem99 how many strangers you're talking to every day.
And about what topics your conversation based on if you're meeting the person for the first time?
I can relate and love that rule too. It makes interactions and life in general so much more fun. Still an ongoing process for me but a worthwhile one
Ok so true about the zero to a hundred thing. Thanks for this video!!
Be yourself. Being introverted isn’t bad or good, neither is being extroverted.
this was a lovely video to come across, well said and actually trusty good info from a good place
And you create your own reality
Most important point.
And then you can twerk for mission accomplishment
Either live other peoples reality or live in your own its your choice… follower or leader?
thanks devin
Thank you devin
the fact that im watching this
because of my shyness, when I go out I wear a very closed and cold face like a shield.
I though every one guess "that guy is inconfortable" but people think "he has a bad day, he has no time, he is angry"
And this face is like a closed door. You have no interaction with it.
But if someone do a little joke or start small talk with a little humor, all disapear ^^
those social skills... hard to work on it at the beginning. Thanks for the motivation.
Yes just be more playful when talking, doesn't mean you need to be so weird but just however you can talk and be okay with laughing and just have a good time and don't worry about rejection
What also works is Learning to not give a damn what other think
It's easier than you think, when your that good looking
Awesome content mate. Hope you grow a lot :)
hahaha that was a god interaction man, I also went until 25 not ever starting a convo with a stranger. Great idea, I'll start implementing it.
Thank you for this video and advice! I appreciate your honesty and transparency!
Just be born 8/10 bro it's easy
i feel pathetic because i dont have alot of homies to hang out with. i have alot of girl friends and i cant just brush them off, their chill people. but i just wanna do dude things and be a dude with dudes. shit i find myself being scared to even ask “hows your day” after someone even asks me. ill say “im good” then ill go on. im also horrible at roasting people back, so i chuckle and tell them to shut up in a funny way. what do we think gang, am i cooked for life?
edit: shit thanks for the advice guys, im late but thanks dev
You're not cooked bro don't worry lol. You pretty much gave yourself the answer to your problem. You said you find yourself being scared to even ask someone how their day is. All you need to do is push yourself out of your comfort zone and overcome that fear. Go about your day with the intent of talking to some guys that you feel like you'd want to be cool with and just say whatever comes to mind. I meet most of my new friends at the gym and I will walk up to guys I have never even seen before and be like "Damn bro, your arms are massive" and boom, basically friends now. Talk to them every time I see them.
You’re probably a chad 😂 with females orbiting around you waiting for their chance to date you bro.
@@raineyday6908there are no other girls that have those same common interests where you are?
Nah bro you’re in a good position. For most dudes it’s way harder to talk to girls than guys. Just ask a dude about sports or video games straight up and you’ll find friends. Literally ask someone to play your favorite game with them online and boom u probably got a friend lol.
Great video! I'm trying to up my social skills in general and become a more charismatic and sociable person, thanks brother!!
You look like someone who's lived in new Jersey
Awesome video and I love the clip added too! 😌
Doing a good thing big dawg💯
Well this is great advice man. Btw I like your beard it looks good on you. It probably works for the ladies in your life .
I started going to techno and now I am fucking great at talking
Hey man I liked the video a lot. It kinda felt like I was getting custom tailored advice even though it’s just a RUclips video. The whole flirting with the world thing seems like a really good idea and I’ve been trying it out a bit since watching. That part where you ask the guy “you ever tried these before” and tell him “I’ll blame you if I don’t like them” and he laughs really appealed to me and made me want to get better at talking to people.
I have a few questions I wanted to ask you though. One thing I wanted to know is how do you come up with these things to talk about? That was just small talk, but it seemed a million times better than “enjoying the weather?” I never really know what to say when I try to approach people, but that conversation seemed perfect and like it just came to you naturally.
Another thing I wanted to ask is how to control the tone of your voice better. I could relate to you when you mentioned that you barely ever spoke in school and you lost your social skills a bit. I wondered if you ended up with the same problem as me where you start to lose control over the tone of your voice and it ends up being monotone all the time. For that reason every time I try to joke around with people or etc. they just kinda go “what?” or “huh?” like I was making a statement or asking a question or something.
Those are some good questions. I'll probably make a video soon on the first question you asked about how I know what to talk about. In short, I guess I'd say to just be in the moment and don't sit there and overthink what to say. Just say whatever comes to mind. If you sound dumb, then oh well, it's not like you aren't about to leave anyway lol. Talking to people is just like any other skill. The more you do it the better you will get at it, so if you keep practicing the whole flirting with the world thing, eventually things to say will just come to you like it did to me in the video. Me saying, "I'll blame you if I don't like them" was me just being me. I am a very playful person and tease my friends a lot, so even though he was a stranger I still acted like myself and teased him, that's one of the biggest pieces of advice I can give you is to be yourself and let your personality shine even if it's a stranger.
As for the tone of voice thing, I actually did struggle with that a good bit. I didn't have a problem with it around my friends, but when I was talking to people I didn't know I was very monotone. Honestly the only way to fix that is by being consciously aware of it when you are talking to people and forcing yourself to change tone while you are speaking. Eventually it will become a habit and you won't have to think about it. Also, it's pretty hard to be monotone when you are smiling so don't be afraid to show emotion in your face when you are talking.
i have social anxiety, i feel like i’m not interesting enough to talk with people & honestly scared of someone being mean if i ever tried to talk first with them
How old are you ?
Thank You random guy in the white t-shirt!!
Subscribed, I have antisocial tendencies but I understood all these answers to my problems. Literally
You're amazing man
Wow wow wowwwww
Wait for mondayyyyy Imma talk to everyyyy single class fellow
Another point is that whenever you talk to someone and it feels a bit awkward try adding some humour (or better to start the whole conversation with a bit of humour). Like he did in the gas station he made a small joke and made that guy laugh. If someone laughs and talks back he is probably interested in taking so you may keep going if you would like but if they are not they might fake a smile or even joke a bit but not talk. That's when you know you should stop.