SEVERE AVOIDANT BREAKUP RATIONALISATIONS
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
- What rationalisations have you been told 🫠?
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Disclaimer: This is NOT a sponsored video. All opinions expressed are wholly my own.
I never knew the "I love you as a friend/family member" was a rationalisation.
It all makes bloody sense now!
They are a bag of crazies.
ratonalizations of my ex:
- you remind me too much of my family
- the way you dress
- you are too clean
- you are the neediest person in the world
- I can't give you what you want
- we are just incompatible
- you are not adventurous
and before I heard:
- you are the perfect partner I imagined
- you are the most adventurous person I ever met
- we will grow old together
- picked a place where we could get married
- talked about rasing kids together
screw them... avoidants are soul parasites, most people had some childhood issues, not an excuse to torture people with fake future projections or to keep people around you for years even when you know you can't love them back but you are too much of a coward to communicate or to face uncomfortable emotions. run avoidant, hide in your safe spaces, you need to be safe at all costs you poor babies, emotions are scary, so scary...
I can relate to that
They keep you around for years till it suits them then they run away leaving us with questions and traumas
You almost summarized my 10-year relationship. The breakup reasons were: she wanted to find herself, we were incompatible, I was a good person, she trusted me, but she had a feeling she had to do this for herself, and she was unhappy. I asked her why she did not bring these up earlier to address them. She said she did not feel she could convey that to me. I was so confused and blindsided.
@@a-pq4xj so sorry this happened to you, i only spent 3 years and it traumetized me, i can't even imagine 10 :(
"It's not that there is something wrong with our interaction, there isn't. I am happy being together. I just didn't have any feelings since the disintegration of my relationship 8 years ago (which I caused). I value your friendship and we can keep seeing each other but not be in a relationship"
text book
Crazy in their heads
Hahahahah that’s so accurate re: my last relationship 😅 he was like I like adventure and you don’t. Then he goes and book a solo trip to Namibia while I was on a family holiday. Wtaf
LOL ... Spot on! His exact words and thoughts🙄😄
Crazy making
from my DA ex:
when I picked up things I had in his apartment and told him he could have just broken up with me or let me do it when I wanted to, instead of ghosting: It wasn't ghosting! I did not block you!
And bonus: you are one of the most important people in my life, I love you, but I can't be in a relationship right now (he was for 4 months, then he jumped on Tinder less than 2 weeks after), I cannot give you what you want, I don't want to work on myself and you've been a threat to my independence (whatever that supposed to mean). But hey, do not pick up all your things (like my nightgown), it's not the last time you are here, we can still be something! Why don't you want to go on this thing we have planned just 3 days from now? It wouldn't be an issue since we won't be a couple anymore!
"That connections you always talk about ( which I always told you was amazing but im going to ignore that now) was just you and never me. I love yourfriendship, but im in a relationship now with a guy I just I just met immediately after I stopped seeing you ( even though I hate the word relationsip and never wanted to use it ever ) but I need my space and I m sooooooo busy. You always contact me twice in a week and its soo suffocating.... blah blah blah." gtfo.
Im surprised a severe avoidant can say the L word... Mine couldnt lol
The worst thing about these relationships isn't even not being able to say more than "I like you". What destroys a relationship with avoidants is the inability to take responsibility and say the golden word: (I'm) Sorry.
The inability to deal with mistakes and preferring to remain resentful all their lives -- the majority.
Mine couldn’t say love either, except to his mom on the phone and it seemed forced. He couldn’t say please or thank you either🙄
I love your videos. It’s like all the avoidance, get together and agree what they’re going to tell all the people they get together. It’s amazing, the words seem to be rehearsed over and over…
That was so funny, and to be honest, so very true when it's not the right person. I was expecting you to receive a phone call toward the end of your skit from a person you want to meet to set up a date. Gotta' go...bigger name on the other line. LOL
Thank you thank you thank you! After 2 years of begging he finally said I could kiss him. He didn't lean in so I was confused as hell so I just started kissing his cheek...which eventually turned into me practically making love to his face....and I paused before kissing his mouth and he looked around like it was a wine tasting or something...I had tears in my eyes because I haven't loved in 10 years since my terrible divorce and I got so flooded with realizing I COULD love again...and I let it slip I whispered "I love you"... And I got back I love you too...and I began to weep and he looked so freaked out and then added, BUT LIKE A SISTER.
Needless to say my soul fell out of my body and I was flooded with hurt, insult, questions about what kind of family asks a sister to kiss him....I mean If I had the power to apparate I would have poofed out of there so fast.
This sounds absolutely bloody horrific to experience - I am so so sorry you experienced this, you deserved so much better.
Anyone elses avoidant person say “Im looking for the spark”. Whats yheir obsession with spark, are they chemistry obsessed for the initial thrill ?
Meee lol
We were together for a whole year talking and spending time daily then 2 days before meeting my family he was like (idk if we have chemistry) while telling me he loves me everyday
Yes! Mine told me, “The spark is gone.”🙄
@@Cindy-g5y 😆😆😆
I was told “I don’t think you’re my type; there isn’t that spark; you need that spark.”
"Its not a loop its a spiral."
WHAT THE F DOES THAT MEAN?!
I was like this, more can we be friends.. because the DA couldn't offer real commitment , as a FA,whom has been working on myself, felt more drained in it tbh..the push, pull
“I assumed we were just friends”
You… told me you loved me. Repeatedly. I don’t have sex with my friends.
I feel this. I’m so sorry.
I’m starting to think avoidant people have a warped sense of reality
@@rupertperiwinkle4477 They have to make a grandiose lie because the truth is so big and in their face but they can't handle it.
I had to send my avoidant screenshots from the dictionary to explain the differences between between a friend and a lover. After lovebombing me for a few months then pulling away and me learning about his cheating in the meantime, I found out that for him if the person you're dating isn't the one you are 100% sure you want to marry, then it's just a friendship.
@@lann7669 holy shit, that’s terrifying
too accurate
The rationalisations out of nowhere:
- There’s no spark and you clearly love me much more than i love you and it’s not fair (she being the first one saying things like: so what are we? A couple right?, you’re my soulmate, we’re gonna spend our lives together, i’ve never fallen in love like this, you’re my bff, you’re the love of my life, can’t wait to live together, i’ve never felt more safe in my life)
- i can’t be thinking about good morning text every day. (Girl… what?)
- I need to work on myself (2 weeks after the break up she was already flirting with someone else)
- I used to think we were like twins.. but we’re not… (because i didn’t like a movie she liked 🫠)
- you’re too perfect it makes me feel bad.. (which made me “perfect” was me not neglecting her feelings and needs like absolutely everyone else in her life, taking care of her, solving things with open communication instead of reacting… i mean THE BARE MINIMUN IN ANY HEALTHY HUMAN BEING)
I saw my ex today whilst shopping. And i didnt even know it was him consciously, subconsciously i did. But i was to occupied to really notice. About 30mins later something told me to reach out. So i did. And i find that he blocked me. Would anybody have any reason for that. I didnt say anything to him for years.
Sometimes they may block you to avoid conflict or just to avoid thinking about you
Do Avoidants tend to dissociate if they feel rejected or humiliated????
It is within the scope of possible reactions
I can't give you what you need 🤦🏼♂️ Seriously, WTF