The Autistic dialect | Madeline Narkinsky | TEDxVCU

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  • Опубликовано: 27 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 151

  • @annasvensson2123
    @annasvensson2123 2 года назад +85

    The worst thing is when people make assumptions based on your lack of non-verbal communication. Somehow your words hold less weight just because they're not accompanied by facial expressions. "I can't breathe" means my life's in danger even if I don't sound all theatrical when I say it.

  • @TerrinX
    @TerrinX 2 года назад +60

    Ok but I cried a little. Bridging the gap between people are different takes effort on both sides "Understand us, we're trying so hard to understand you" - Quote, by me

  • @SimonHuggins
    @SimonHuggins 2 года назад +116

    Great talk, the stumbles just made the talk even more engaging for me. Totally agree about respecting each other’s communication styles - and the dialects within the autism community are as varied as those within a city! Great message and just the right tone to help everyone stop, think, and consider “Am I making assumptions here?” And good on your Mum for asking. That a teacher couldn’t do that before calling her into school I hope made that teacher think again next time!

  • @sparrow8072
    @sparrow8072 Год назад +32

    I once shared a meal in Japan with a local girl and a NT foreign guy (who was very much interested in dating her). It absolutely shocked me how much he complained about how vague Japanese communication is and how ridiculous it was to just expect everyone to guess what is being hinted at. There’s some level of irony there that he was definitely not aware of 😂 but I also found it shocking, as someone who had struggled with this my entire life, the sheer entitlement of thinking that it was the Japanese people who were the problem. When I first studied in Japan, I obviously didn’t understand the language or the culture, and I harshly judged myself for my inability to adapt (because being kind to myself was never a strong suit of mine but I’m working on it!) but I learned over time. I still have trouble sometimes-I probably always will-but I always *try* to improve my understanding. I think neurotypical people are just so used to communication being easy that they have difficulty accepting it when they have to put in effort to accommodate someone else.

  • @adahbinti7103
    @adahbinti7103 2 года назад +35

    Everyone is uniquely special. Be open to discover them individually

  • @derms718
    @derms718 10 месяцев назад +4

    That was one of the few Teds that reached beyond superficiality. Thank you

  • @laneatkinson6441
    @laneatkinson6441 2 года назад +117

    I found this talk very refreshing! Not just the topic, but their way of speaking as well. It was engaging so I found it easy to pay attention, which is special because I have ADHD. Good job Madeline!! 👍

    • @SmallSpoonBrigade
      @SmallSpoonBrigade Год назад +3

      Yep, a lot of this, especially the special interests stuff, definitely applies to ADHD as well. I wonder if there's going to come a time where they stop artificially separating ADHD from ASD and just make it a subtype.

  • @7lilly5
    @7lilly5 2 года назад +20

    Madeline, you rock! I am a late in life diagnosed ADHDer on the Autism Spectrum. And you have further empowered me to continue speak out about my amazing traits too! Much peace to you. Namaste!

    • @kt1696
      @kt1696 9 месяцев назад

      Namaste.

  • @enclosedkiss
    @enclosedkiss 10 месяцев назад +2

    It’s pretty phenomenal how many people in various corporations lack this understanding. It minimizes opportunities for our brilliant Autistic community. I am thankful to have this understanding to know how to protect and support my neurotypical friends, family and neighbors.

  • @jleon6x
    @jleon6x 2 года назад +28

    This is my favorite thing ever! Thank You Madeline. I feel like my whole life I’ve been like this but have had to forcibly learn to work between the lines of communicating with the different types of people. Now in my 30s I’m starting to feel normal for the first time because I’ve learned to maneuver these conversations well (even though I’m an introvert).

  • @dandycadent
    @dandycadent 2 года назад +12

    What a refreshing talk! I loved Madeline’s authenticity…. And as neurodivergent with ADHD I felt this talk soothing, because i felt heard and understood… thank you 🙏

  • @alejandroverdin6709
    @alejandroverdin6709 2 года назад +111

    Great video. I think autism needs more people talking about it.

    • @Colonies_Dev
      @Colonies_Dev 2 года назад +2

      I've dealt with a lot of violence and just completely psychotic seeming behavior so i talked a lot about it so far 🙄 autistic girl i wanted to give a chance ended up hitting me and stalking me because she was incapable of having a normal relationship and still wanted to force it on me.

    • @Colonies_Dev
      @Colonies_Dev 2 года назад +1

      im just watching this video to know what to avoid

    • @Lukas-fq9lp
      @Lukas-fq9lp 2 года назад

      @@Colonies_Dev No offense/Insult against you buuuuuuut I am an Autist......
      And if you get Stalked by an Autistic Girl.....
      It was***Your Fault****because you didn't know how to interact without making her:Your ArchENEMY^^:-).
      Like I said......No Offense aginst you.....
      You just didn't know it,and thats ok(Thumps Up)
      Autistisc People are Strange,*even for Autists^^
      Autistic greetibgs frome Vienna:-)

    • @deinodinosuchus
      @deinodinosuchus Год назад

      agreed! however it needs more autistic voices talking about it, not allistics (non-autistics) speaking over us!!

    • @deinodinosuchus
      @deinodinosuchus Год назад +5

      ​​​​@@Colonies_Dev just because she was autistic doesn't mean all autistic people are like that. that mentality is one of the reasons autistic people are outcast. she might've been a bad person and a stalker, but it's not BECAUSE she was autistic, it was because she was just a bad person and a stalker. she could've had something else, too. don't blame an entire group of people on one experience with one person who happens to be part of that group - it only does harm to the innocent people within it.

  • @ohissnunu
    @ohissnunu 2 года назад +13

    I LOVE THIS!! Thank you for shedding light on your authentic expression. I work with children with autism and I strive to understand from their perspective. Thank you.

  • @noadsplease2737
    @noadsplease2737 Год назад +3

    Thank you so much for having the courage to talk about such a personal and vulnerable topic. I had a recent break up because my ex didn’t understand that when I ask her clarifying questions, I’m not trying to suggest she doe something differently. I just want to know EXACTLY what it is that we’re talking about.

  • @ddpwe5269
    @ddpwe5269 2 года назад +25

    Great talk Madeline! I'm glad there's more like you trying to get the message out about us neuro-diverse people!

  • @dommartin1318
    @dommartin1318 2 года назад +20

    This is a phenomenal Ted talk and an even more phenomenal person

  • @ejc9858
    @ejc9858 Год назад +4

    I struggle a lot with what I consider to be “candid” communication but doesn’t seem to fit the “acceptable” level of polite especially in work settings. It’s very hard to fake that bee dance for me and I wish some days people would value me enough in those settings to ask me what I mean or why I’ve said something without concluding things based on their own rigid understandings. Thank you for being brave and genuine and encouraging others to reevaluate what is “correct” about communication between types of people ❤️

  • @JennaHarris001
    @JennaHarris001 2 года назад +3

    Thank you! Madeline Narkinsky's video has helped me better understand how my autistic friends and business partners think and communicate, and that is helping me to adjust my communication style to mesh better with theirs in both my personal and business life. I love that I'm now able to make my friends and coworkers feel more comfortable and better understood, but I'm also better able to show how very much I value them and my relationships with them! This also makes business meetings with newly hired neurotypicals so much easier because it's helping me to more easily recognize, understand, and fix the communication barriers and/or misunderstandings that occasionally arise during those first few meetings while our new hires are build trust and establish relationships with their coworkers. The high diversity of backgrounds, cultures, strengths, skills, ideas, and thought processes in our team make us incredibly effective, but it also makes misunderstandings more common. Thank you so much for this additional knowledge and sharable tool to help us all communicate better. ❤

    • @rawxane
      @rawxane Год назад +1

      You're an amazing coworker and friend for taking time to better understand those around you and truly wanting to make things better around you ❤

    • @JennaHarris001
      @JennaHarris001 Год назад

      @@rawxane Aw. Thank you!

  • @Chrystianxo
    @Chrystianxo 2 года назад +10

    Very enjoyable Ted Talk! I loved listening to her speak about this topic. I like how fast she talks, that’s how I wish I could speak all of the time but people tell me to slow down and take pauses 😭🤣

    • @AmberAmber
      @AmberAmber 2 года назад +2

      Same 🤣 My earnestness, verbosity, excessive compassion, obsession with a few topics, & the utter inability to lie properly (or at all) makes it a 'task' to live with me. XO 💗

  • @beverleycarpenter8481
    @beverleycarpenter8481 Год назад +1

    Madeline, Thank you. I am an atypical, but am keen to find common ground in communication with everyone. I so appreciated the clarity on communication that you presented.

  • @GfnWiz
    @GfnWiz 2 года назад +8

    That is an amazing description of the truth and reality of the egocentric existence of a human. As someone who is very empathic, it can be so hard to understand why everyone in the world can’t be better at putting themselves in someone else’s shoes. People who are empathetic like me will never understand the view of the world through an Autistic Patient’s eyes, but will never stop trying to get a glimpse. Whereas the majority of people don’t have enough energy or time, or inherent drive to understand someone else’s perspective of something because the only true view a person can see is through the interpretation of the world through all of their own personal senses, which is exactly what your brain perceives as what is truly real. Therefore inevitably, when a communication breakdown occurs, patience and work is required to reveal what is really being said. I have treated many different illnesses, and time and again, I see patients who tried and worked for years without improvement because the doctor or other provider never even interpreted the patient’s view of the world. In reality those doctors or providers aren’t ignoring things, they simply do not comprehend any other reality than what is sensed, perceived and translated, in their minds. Which is exactly where I burned so much energy and got uselessly frustrated related to providers that seemed to be ignoring patients. why can’t you hear what is being said?” Let’s pretend that many doctors/providers will never be able to understand another person’s reality AND if you imagine that many good doctors have the inherent and often necessary ability to turn off those pesky emotions and feelings and only see the concrete reality in front of them. Similar to an Autistic Patient who is desperately trying to understand why other people seem to have so much enjoyment in something that makes no sense, medical providers are similarly not perceiving something that basically doesn’t exist in those providers’ reality.

  • @MetalRush666
    @MetalRush666 2 года назад +19

    My son has his own borderline non-verbal language and I understand him probably better than myself sometmes. It takes a lot of time but is worth the extra effort and attention to details.

  • @Lotusblue234
    @Lotusblue234 2 года назад +12

    The stuff at 5:53 really had me spitting out my cereal, goddamn!!! This is so true!! And I don't think I've ever heard it put to words so perfectly!! Just understanding that different people communicate differently is HUGE not only for autistic folk but for people of differing cultures, different ages, everyone really! All it takes is a little bit of empathy, and the people you're describing really baffle me with their lack of it 😂

  • @dylankeppler3542
    @dylankeppler3542 2 года назад +1

    I've started working as a support worker with teenagers on the spectrum and this has helped lots. Thank you.

  • @maybellineravencroft6271
    @maybellineravencroft6271 2 года назад +34

    Such a great speech. Really explains a lot for only a 7min video.

  • @debbiewrazen5233
    @debbiewrazen5233 2 года назад +6

    Thank you for pegging the statement ,’There’s more than one way to go with communicate’. I am going to have a shirt with this message printed upon it. Great talk👍🏼👏🏼

    • @johnfrancis4877
      @johnfrancis4877 2 года назад

      Am really impressed with your comment... please can we be friends if you don’t mind, where are you located?

  • @Paulsmuse
    @Paulsmuse 2 года назад +6

    Late diagnosed autistic. Thank you 💕

  • @PlantsAndInsects
    @PlantsAndInsects 2 года назад +1

    This is one of the best videos on how to speak with somebody who is on the spectrum.

  • @maverickmissile801
    @maverickmissile801 2 года назад +11

    Wow, that actually explains me so perfectly wtf. Really enjoyed this one!

  • @gehanosama88
    @gehanosama88 2 года назад +3

    She stated books in 7 minutes. Love it!

  • @Keystone98
    @Keystone98 2 года назад +9

    I have ADHD and this is so refreshing to listen to .

  • @DrNancyLivingCoCreatively
    @DrNancyLivingCoCreatively 2 года назад +2

    Assumptions are very important and challenging. I stumble often.

  • @LSDUniversity
    @LSDUniversity 2 года назад +7

    Picture a world where everyone and everything communicated the same way. Same facial expressions, say word choices, same tones, same body language...Okay now stop picturing it because it'll end up in the ether! That would be one boring world to live in. It's beautiful meeting others who communicate differently than you. The power you can learn from them and what they can learn from you is insane. It's like reading a book in 3D.

  • @SamWhatever00
    @SamWhatever00 2 года назад +3

    This talk basically comes down to: use your words, people. That really shows how much people assume instead of asking questions 🙃

  • @ursaltydog
    @ursaltydog 2 года назад +8

    My little cousin is on the autism spectrum and Madeline's speech speaks to me a lot. The non-eye contact, talking endlessly on things he likes, including foods. Except, particular foods prepared in the same way, with the same ingredients are the only things he'll eat, because they're the best. No second rates. Certain games are the best, so this one or that one is the only one he'll play. And he will endlessly engage you of why it's the best, and doesn't accept any derogatory suggestions of how it's not. We love him to pieces and engage with him as often as we can, because he's such a joy.

  • @Kaltag2278
    @Kaltag2278 2 года назад +18

    When I was in 3rd grade we were making paper lions. I made mine anatomically correct. Learned a harsh lesson that day.

  • @andruxa197927
    @andruxa197927 2 года назад +6

    Dear Lady, I listened to your lecture for 3 minutes, I didn't see myself at that moment in the mirror, but my eyes must have sparkled, thank you very much for your culture and knowledge. As they say in Ukraine: Glory to the Heroes!

  • @annataiwellness
    @annataiwellness 2 года назад +29

    Amazing talk. We need to learn accept different communication skills. She’s so intelligent. Thank you for the amazing talk. ❤️❤️❤️

  • @TheChipmunk2008
    @TheChipmunk2008 2 года назад +1

    I am so bookmarking this, thank you Madeline

  • @oliviatiwaladeadedokun2929
    @oliviatiwaladeadedokun2929 Год назад +3

    I hate making eye contact. Always have. When i am forced to, it's painful. I feel like my eyes are burning. Being forced to do it is stressful.

  • @myopinionsarefacts
    @myopinionsarefacts 2 года назад +5

    Oh my gosh they have a tedx patch on they right sleeve

  • @stevecavanagh8033
    @stevecavanagh8033 Год назад +2

    Watching this was like getting into a hot bath, I feel so heard.

  • @lupinvivian
    @lupinvivian 2 года назад +1

    Absolutely adored this talk!!!!

  • @stephanies718
    @stephanies718 2 года назад +5

    Wow. Amazing. Well done. Thank for sharing and being you because I learned today and thank you

  • @berthaantoinettamason9207
    @berthaantoinettamason9207 2 года назад +1

    In the modern world, we talk about social inequality, and I agree that mental illness should be next for acceptance or social rights. It would be the next step to being inclusive of differences.

  • @DS-zo8xs
    @DS-zo8xs Месяц назад

    She sounds so nervous but did a great job!

  • @memeyou241
    @memeyou241 2 года назад

    I really enjoyed listening to this. They make a good point about dialect.

  • @janemacdonald6936
    @janemacdonald6936 Год назад +1

    Awesome and so easy to relate to . Thank you Madeleine 🙏🏽💕

  • @stephanieblahbiddyblah
    @stephanieblahbiddyblah Год назад +1

    Thank you for this

  • @violet_skrs
    @violet_skrs 2 года назад +19

    i loved the subtle nonbinary flag on the cuff of their jacket.
    also great TedTalk/video, i finally recieved a formal diagnosis in march this year, for ASD (autism spectrum disorder) as well as ADHD.

    • @rawxane
      @rawxane Год назад

      Where on her jacket exactly?
      I hope your diagnosis will help you better understanding yourself and/or others be more considerate towards you

    • @violet_skrs
      @violet_skrs Год назад

      @@rawxane 00:52 her left sleeve along the cuff (right side of screen from our pov)

    • @zootzbootz
      @zootzbootz Год назад +1

      these comments are kinda old but based on the description I believe they use they/him pronouns ^^; /info/lh

  • @Msbuddy08sej
    @Msbuddy08sej 2 года назад +1

    I learned some things. Will assist me in dealing with some family members. yayyyy

  • @ApollonianShy18
    @ApollonianShy18 2 года назад +2

    Great Ted.. was searching for sth abt autism 😊 this came in just so handy
    Thanks a bunch!

  • @kimberlypaulson4545
    @kimberlypaulson4545 Год назад +1

    What a great talk!

  • @BCSchmerker
    @BCSchmerker 2 года назад +1

    +TEDx *I've a concept for a thesaurus for the neurotypical w/r/t neurodivergent jargon; too incomplete to publish a preview, but the more data I obtain, the shorter time a preview can be released.* As a recent subscriber to the Personal Development School channel, I've viewed, née studied, a vid on Codependency and the AP and FA Attachment Styles, and I'd made a new term applicable to the topic: Emodump; viz., emotional infodump, applicable to subconscious stories associated with childhood trauma.

  • @PlantsAndInsects
    @PlantsAndInsects 2 года назад +1

    I loved this talk!

  • @KaaliTV1
    @KaaliTV1 2 года назад +2

    Amazing talk

  • @tuckernarkinsky9480
    @tuckernarkinsky9480 Год назад

    Awesome stuff cuz, so proud!

  • @krobson17
    @krobson17 Год назад

    She did a great job! Nerves and all

  • @GamerKru1996
    @GamerKru1996 2 года назад +2

    This was a good TED Talk

  • @doll2607
    @doll2607 2 года назад +1

    This was great! Thank you!

  • @Idea_Polymath
    @Idea_Polymath 2 года назад +7

    How I wish to perform here one day..
    My spoken word 🥰

  • @bukurie6861
    @bukurie6861 2 года назад

    Thank you for your talk!It is a great work to do with teen and to plaiyg in free time.Congratulation!😍🖐

  • @daltongrowley5280
    @daltongrowley5280 2 года назад +1

    Amazing talk!

  • @stereotype_p
    @stereotype_p 2 года назад +2

    This channel have my whole heart>>❤️

  • @danab3591
    @danab3591 2 года назад +1

    Fantastic! Insightful and funny.

  • @maureenmomof3
    @maureenmomof3 2 года назад +3

    Love it thank you 🙏🏻❤️

    • @johnfrancis4877
      @johnfrancis4877 2 года назад

      Am really impressed with your comment... please can we be friends if you don’t mind, where are you located?

  • @ItsHeelzMudafukaz
    @ItsHeelzMudafukaz 2 года назад +1

    Brilliant

  • @daveys
    @daveys 8 месяцев назад

    Excellent talk, and great points made.

  • @gaflor44
    @gaflor44 2 года назад +1

    I loved this!!

  • @Noah-ir3os
    @Noah-ir3os 2 года назад +1

    Nobody has said yeet since 2015.

  • @veronicamccarrison8131
    @veronicamccarrison8131 2 года назад +1

    very interesting

  • @annettealexander882
    @annettealexander882 2 года назад +2

    Thank you .very informative, learnt as lot from you 🎃

    • @johnfrancis4877
      @johnfrancis4877 2 года назад

      Am really impressed with your comment... please can we be friends if you don’t mind, where are you located?

  • @willyjilly9684
    @willyjilly9684 2 года назад +2

    If you read this I hope you are having a wonderful day 💙

  • @christinestockdale5768
    @christinestockdale5768 2 года назад +1

    Very astute

  • @candisfirchau3810
    @candisfirchau3810 2 года назад +1

    Lovely, well spoken

  • @DeclanFeeney
    @DeclanFeeney 2 года назад +3

    This talk is awesome, but it feels like you have so much more to say. The ending (at least to me) felt abrupt. I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to search for other stuff you’ve said on the internet. Your talk was refresh and informative, but a little lacking in concrete advice on understanding each other. Hopefully given more time in a different format you’ll get to say more.
    I hope this doesn’t feel negative. What I mean it to say is the talk was brilliant but I want to know more.

    • @calloganvoyaterre
      @calloganvoyaterre 2 года назад +2

      TED Talks are short on purpose and even if she had had twice as much time she wouldn't have had enough to go into the detail you would like. It's best to use it as a jumping-off point as you have. She used it to address one point: 'just ask instead of assume.' Going into any other points would have taken too much time. You're right, though, hopefully given more time in a different format she could get to say more. It's a topic that one can take hours going into and explaining.

    • @felinoidrose
      @felinoidrose 2 года назад

      @@calloganvoyaterre just so you know, i dont think madeline uses she/her. from the description i think they use he/they :)

    • @Msbuddy08sej
      @Msbuddy08sej 2 года назад

      She could teach a class.

  • @mnelson9057
    @mnelson9057 2 года назад +2

    Excellent video 💗 👍

  • @ilovebeingmereminders.9722
    @ilovebeingmereminders.9722 2 года назад +1

    💙

  • @EokaBeamer69
    @EokaBeamer69 7 месяцев назад

    this video just clicks.

  • @hellofuturehealing
    @hellofuturehealing 2 года назад +1

    💜💜💜💜💜 Amazing!!!!

  • @mrcoolguy0591
    @mrcoolguy0591 2 года назад

    Elie from borderlands 2

  • @timrasulov5678
    @timrasulov5678 2 года назад +3

    Nice story! Well said statement!

  • @SpiritualityofScience
    @SpiritualityofScience 2 месяца назад

    Jokes on you! I'm always uncomfortable 😂

  • @howtoaca7504
    @howtoaca7504 Год назад

    💝💝

  • @sumdumbmick
    @sumdumbmick Год назад

    for some context there's a famous person who's an absolute legend of a posterchild for neurotypical psychology.
    Adolf Eichmann.
    so... why don't we ever talk about how psychologically disordered neurotypicals are?

  • @amaraakakios1030
    @amaraakakios1030 10 месяцев назад

    Wait, treating everyone the same way regardless of their job or whatever isnt normal?

  • @zanapplepie
    @zanapplepie 2 года назад

    🔥🔥🔥👏👏👏

  • @siljrath
    @siljrath 2 года назад +2

    re: 1:51-1:58 the expression "Britain divided by a common language" speaks to the diversity of dialects and accents across Britain. far from "one".

    • @siljrath
      @siljrath 2 года назад

      also... thankyou thankyou thankyou. great talk. so psychelogically reassuring to hear the depiction around the 4th minute.

  • @GSR711GAMING
    @GSR711GAMING 2 года назад +1

    Helpful for us

  • @mr.amitdwivedihere
    @mr.amitdwivedihere 2 года назад +1

    Great video 👍👍👍👍

  • @GodbeeVlogs
    @GodbeeVlogs 2 года назад +1

    good morning I am from Africa Senegal , I am enjoying your videos , I have problem of laptop  please buy for me ASUS X102BA 10.1 inch Laptop 💻 help me the gift 🎁

  • @Noah-ir3os
    @Noah-ir3os 2 года назад +2

    I just don’t like her for whatever reason. Its like we were destined by god to be mortal enemies.

    • @wiegraf9009
      @wiegraf9009 Год назад +1

      She is trying to mask for her audience but isn't very good at it so you get an uncanny valley effect. That would be my guess. She's trying to speak in a neurotypical "dialect" so maybe pay attention to the message?

    • @juliane2102
      @juliane2102 Год назад

      Wow dude, that's rude. You can keep that to yourself. She did not do any harm to you

  • @chipchop9067
    @chipchop9067 2 года назад +2

    Yuck

    • @gooselacey1718
      @gooselacey1718 2 года назад +15

      Ok neurotypical

    • @chipchop9067
      @chipchop9067 2 года назад +2

      @@gooselacey1718 don’t attack me! 😭

    • @chrislewis6030
      @chrislewis6030 2 года назад +4

      @@chipchop9067 you just attacked an entire group of people for no other reason than you don't like them it sounds like something the Nazis did now if you're going to disrespect a whole group of humans and then expect to just get a bunch of praise you're very wrong you need to learn how to grow up and accept that humans are different if you can't do that then learn how to take a hit oh boohoo somebody called you out and you just had to cry about it

    • @chipchop9067
      @chipchop9067 2 года назад +2

      @@chrislewis6030 😂 You seem to be confused but I hope that made you feel better. Have a good one! 😚

    • @chrislewis6030
      @chrislewis6030 2 года назад +3

      @@chipchop9067 well I am a man of reason so I'm willing to listen what was your reasoning for commenting yuck I am willing to listen as to why because that's the kind of person I am and no it didn't make me feel good I hate the anxiety it gives me when I have to make comments like that