You Have To See This If You Have Anxiety
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- Опубликовано: 24 сен 2022
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WHO AM I:
I'm a clinical psychologist. I am here to share insights from therapy and psychology research so that you can make use of it in your daily life to understand how your mind works and optimise your own mental health. I cover all things from confidence and motivation to mood and anxiety. I look forward to chatting with you in the comments.
Hi I'm Dr. Julie subscribe & follow me for lots more videos on mental health and psychology.
For more on this see my new no.1 bestselling book - Why has nobody told me this before?
👉 @t
I feel so called out lol
Dr. Julie, i wonder if the opposite is also true. If one is like i won't talk to liars, i won't deal with the deceptive, i won't work with unethical etc, layers build around that one. Then does one actually become an easy shooting target to those looking to take advantage of the one? You know, because of predictability and gullibility.
Dr Julie thank you and please do a weekly video for like 15 minutes to talk to kids have a kids session just like in person kids need some help
⁰
@Chidinma Ezekwere Thank you so much! glad to hear 👌👌👌
Wow, I feel exposed. This is what i have been doing since I was 18 years old. I have started to get rid of the things that made me anxious bc I was thinking like why not. And I’m 33 right now, and I have no friends, no relationships, no social life, I do not go anywhere, and the only thought of being out in public makes me scared
May I suggest minecraft?
You'd be surprised how good it can be once you find a good server.
I'm not an adult and I don't have severe anxiety, but I am autistic and playing has helped me develop social skills quite a lot.
Plus minecraft can be very fun and relaxing even if you play singleplayer.
@@abgacha1247 thats just too cute
@mari please, get help.
It is not a way to continue to live life, to live your life. You’re young, have so much you could be experiencing, stop avoiding those experiences, even if they aren’t all 100% enjoyable, you can at least feel proud of getting out and trying.
Medication has changed my life, surrounding myself of people I know I can trust, and do trust, has helped a lot too, fixing some small goals, small steps, one at a time and BE PROUD of yourself for that step!! Celebrate yourself.
I’m on the spectrum, with adhd, and rn I’m struggling with severe ptsd and anxiety, it’s started to eat me alive, but I couldn’t take care of myself because my kid is at the center of this trauma, so I cared for him all this time, but it hit me hard afterwards.
You will make it! You are so valuable and strong, even if you may not think like that of yourself. I suffer from severe anxiety as well, you are not alone
Try ANC headphones with your favourite music or audio that calms you down. Or maybe light shade sunglasses
Just go for a walk.
People are overrated
Triggered my anxiety when she started putting back 2 layers at a time 😅
Mah triggered just by the amount I have to get back I feel you💀
😂😅😂😅for real for real-me too!
eh you all here stay strong stay haaappy im over anxiety too i slowly correct my mistakes too you can do that too
Same!!😁
exactly what i was thinking
This visual representation also reminded me of how depression can set in. Once you’re removing or forgetting to do the things you love then your world starts to shrink down to this darker version of it
i actually did this. i did one baby step at a time. starting with driving my car around the neighborhood, which turned into me going into public places alone, then i started driving to trails everyday on my own to walk, then i started hanging out with a new friend after 3 years of not seeing any friends, then driving 30+ minutes from home, then taking myself to the doctors for the first time ever (im 21) and i was so thrilled to be gaining my independence back after years of isolation in my room…. but then i randomly started to develop panic attacks for the first time ever. the scariest feeling. it’s completely isolated me and brought me back to a even more isolated spot than i was. i can now hardly go to the grocery store with my mom. that alone is a diffuse task. it’s slowly getting easier but it’s so hard for me to imagine doing the things i was just a few months ago again.
You can do it. Jesus came to set the captives free . Reject the lies of the enemy
One step at a time 🙂 sending you a internet hug 🫂🩷
Why is this the most accurate representation of how anxiety leads to self-isolation and destroying your own life I’ve ever seen
Dr. Julie your visuals really bring your lessons to life; which helps to make them so much more relatable and understandable. 💛
I moved. Very dramatic and a big decision. I was having a lot of anxiety. But the people where I lived were rich, entitled, impatient, stuck up, and rude. Working customer service, I was yelled at multiple times a day. Now where I live, the personality change is immense, and people are so nice to me, and they treat me like a real human.
I moved too, I was in a place that I still hate with all myself, before moving I could barely step out the door. Once I dropped of the airplane most of the anxiety that I had kinda of disappeared, I work in customer service too and make lots of mistakes but I’m working on myself to achieve something bigger. Fortunately where I live (Sofia) people aren’t that rich as taxes are low so it’s chill for me, I’m happy for you.
I wish you the best in life . Pray to God for help. Hes always with you. Prayers your way. 🙏📿
A great and hard decision! Glad you did it. Hope you are happier now
God is good. Glad he turned your situation around ❤he can and will when you follow him
She really doesnt know how much she helps me throughout trying to survive. At one point i was so depressed i stayed in my room alone for 52 hours and now shes slowly helping me get my life back
You are different.... thank you
Dr Julie, I have just stumbled across your page after a very very rough couple of weeks. Between school, personal life, and sports I had shut down. I was failing classes, becoming close minded, always feeling angry and jittery. I did exactly what u had explained here. Slowly working back up. Now I'm a straite A student, am competing at the top of my sport, and am learning to cope with my anxiety after years of therapy. I just wanted to say thank you for sharing because you help one person at a time. ❤️❤️❤️
Aw thank you so much for sharing this. It makes my day to know that what I am doing can make a real difference to real people in their real lives. Keep up the great work and best of luck on your continued journey. 😃
Straight
Me too school is bringing alot of anxiety and plus, most of my classes have over 30 students
@@DrJulie could you please help to stop negative thinking always and having fear of something bad will happen and doubt and thoughts like nothing good remaining for future. How to see past reality and hope and think positive always and make sure not to let negative thoughts thrive and manifest 🙏
This definitely works
I started taking psychology classes (wanted to be a psychologist but now I’m a social worker) and started to apply what I learned to myself
And I had to do this about my confidence
I had none
I wore a jacket all the time and couldn’t not wear it
So I started bringing it but tied it around my waist
Then I would take it off to run to the bathroom
Then I started having it put on the chair
Then I was able to leave it home
After that I talked myself up using similar steps to get me more confident
I’m still not where I would like to be but I can now accept compliments and can look in the mirror and say I look cute some days but I don’t say I look ugly anymore which is a step in the right direction
❤️✨🌹
Your comment actually gave me an idea of what I can do . Thanks and all the best for future.
@@munny3027 I’m glad I could help :) it does take time so don’t be discouraged if it takes a while to get it done
I’m literally going through this right now 😢. My wedding is coming up and I’m super anxious about being the center of attention. I even had to put makeup on for the first time in my life for wedding photos recently. I was so self conscious, but when I looked at the photos, I actually started thinking I was pretty and that maybe my mind was playing tricks on me all these years telling me I’m ugly. I’ve just had such low self-confidence my whole life and I’m just barely starting to get more comfortable in my skin, especially after losing over 35 pounds in the past 4 months 🎉. So I totally relate to what you said and hope your confidence keeps improving everyday.
Nikki if I may, what made you change from being a psych to a social worker?
The very first therapist I had did this with me when I was 19. She called it the ladder and each rung was something that I desperately wanted to accomplish.
The first thing was having a conversation with my grandparents, then raising my hand in a college class, then conversing with a stranger, then talking on the phone- and on and on. And at the top of my ladder was for me to go on a date.
I'm about to turn 26 and haven't seen that therapist in six years because I had to move. She was amazing and changed my life and I've kept working up my ladder all this time. Two months ago, I went on my first date. It was really fun :)
I'm a behavioral therapist and this is really good advice!
Anxiety is like chronic pain. The stretches that hurt to do can be good for your body overall. It just takes time. When you stop doing them suddenly, your body hurts worse so you don't want to start back up again and risk that pain.
It's important to keep stretching. Because if you don't stretch, you shrink. And I think that's more terrifying.
Basically, it's better to face your fears every now and then to keep yourself open to opportunity and happiness than to avoid your fears and make it nearly impossible to pursue future goals.
Love this! ❤
Yesss. And what's worse is when you have both. It's like no rainbow rings left at all. >
Simply genius the way you show and describe the issues, helping to contextualise them. Super thanks!
I have really bad anxiety and am very grateful that I have people who support me. They help make me less anxious in various situations. I'm still working on doing those things alone though. It's difficult, because as a perfectionist, I want to fix everything immediately. That won't happen, and that's okay! For anybody else out there, know that you're not alone and that you can take your time. Just keep moving forward!
Yes, I agree with you 💯%. 🙂
I have Adult Situational Anxiety Disorder. Every day has its challenges. We have to keep taking a step forward, even if it's a little one. It's still a step forward.
Thsi is what I’ve been going through… you made me realize so much.
The reduction happens without really realizing it. Thank you for this!!!!
It literally happened to me a couple of hours ago cuz during school me amd my friends would always talk about hanging out but now that it holidays I don't even want to plan going pit cuz im too anxious
Dr. Julie, you don't know how much ypur videos means to me. I'm a 20yo student dealing with anxiety, OCD and depression all at once. I've stopped talking to people, going out and have stopped enjoying the smallest things in life. Your videos give me so much comfort. Thank you.
This helps a lot. I have social anxiety and usually I stay away from going to the store, so usually I'm on my phone to distract me from whatever is going on
thank you! so so true. i used to be so scared of everything, stopped answering the phone or door like you said. i told myself just do it and see what happens and everytime i overcame my fears one by one i collected more evidence that nothing bad happens even good things do sometimes
I have actually applied this in my life almost 5 years ago... I felt suicidal, and depressed, and locked myself from the outer world. But now I have got back the hold of my life.
you got this, never give up!!
@@LillyMalfoy394 😭this one sentence can mean so much sometimes, thank you
@@azk4sheikh yw love ❤❤❤😊
yes! i have recently started doing this and so far it has been working. it's hard to keep pushing myself but after weeks of trying, i finally have become able to go to school regularly again. i hope more things get better soon. 😄💜
I want to study psychology and be a therapist her ways are so easy and creative I don't think I can ever be this good
her visuals are AMAZING. Sometimes i dont understand what my therapist is saying, but she does it in a way that is PERFECT
Her:"the anxiety arrives when you are out with your friends"
Me knowing I am lonely and have no friends:"I am 4 parallel universes ahead of you"
Ahead or Away from.....?
@@sonialune it's a reference of a Sonic and Mario video.
Spacetime is one entity. Being ahead of someone also means you are away from them...
As someone that struggles with social anxiety, this honestly helped
It's got to the point that sometimes I feel relieved to think that the friends I used to have left me or distanced themselves from me, they can now have all the fun in their lives without having a person like me around who could ruined it for them, I just don't know how to have fun, , also watched a lot of videos of about the type of friend people should avoid and it all seemed like those points were attributed towards to me😞
I hope you feel better soon. Like the video, working on adding one thing at a time is so important. Maybe you’ll find people that are going through a hard time and you won’t feel so alone.
That’s what I do when I feel incapable of having fun or fitting in with the “fun” people. I look for the quieter people that look uncomfortable like I feel in social settings. They’re usually much more interesting to talk to anyway.
Just my experience…
She talks such a lot of sense. It's depressing to see it all laid out so clearly of course, but it's also calming to see it all laid out so logically.
True! This is how it all started, It took much effort, but now I can finally go out and have the food I once had almost daily. It's sad to see that now it's me alone (we used to go together, all the friends together) but they'll soon join as I'm progressing forward.
She is always amazing
She is
Thank you so much ❤
Thank you so much ❤
She is
Truly! She's like a breath of fresh air when I found her. I read a lot of mental self help articles and books but nothing made me feel understood or helped as she did, waaayy simplified too. #💯savinglives💖
thank you so much for this ❤
This is exactly what happen to me since my first panic attack 6 years ago. I've started taking my life back recently but it feels so different now. Thank you for your videos of encouragement.
This is what I am trying to do for those past 3 months without knowing this. I just thought to myself that " I should take small steps and I will try to solve my problems 1 by 1" and guess what , it worked! And I am much more happier than before 💗
This is what I’ve been doing unconsciously to become less introverted and more confident after Covid took it all away- not that I wasn’t introverted before.
I hate talking on the phone to even order a pizza. I get so inside in my head that the person will laugh at me if I stumble over my words. A stranger at a pizza shop that I can't even see is what causes me to freeze up
Phone anxiety is a real thing! I really struggle with this too. I constantly put off for months just calling in to schedule drs appointments and such. But, sometimes I get wave of relief after I’ve done so. Please take the time to enjoy your achievement every time you are able to make that call! ❤
What do you do for living ?
I get it too. The trick is to beat your mind from getting anxious. Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll call the pizza place in an hour”, do it spontaneously sometime within that hour. That way, you don’t work yourself up and anticipate the call.
I subscribed to this wonderful lady, and all of my problems are starting to be less problematic. I am very thankful
I stay inside a lot, I only really leave the house to go to college or see one specific friend. Today I spent a little bit reading at the park and I feel so great about it. It was less than an hour but it's still a step forward
Wow... I didn't know I had anxiety until she described exactly what has been happening to me my whole life in the span of a few seconds, I just thought I really don't like communicating 😂
What people don’t talk about is how many times you have to build and remove layers throughout your life. The cycle gets old fast. I swear you’ll do this over and over again. Trying to remember it’s not ideal but it’s okay whatever phase you’re in and love yourself enough to take your time wherever you are is the key. This way you are approaching your unhealthy coping habits with a healthy mindset and that makes all the difference.
As someone who is planning on learning psychology your videos have been very informative and helpful. Thank you
I'm only 12, but your videos make me want to become a psychologist. Your so inspiring.
That's what I am trying to do. I completed 5 layers and 6th will be complete soon.
Setting my heart ablaze. 🔥
Proud of ya, stranger. Keep at it 👍🏼
My son is 15 and has autism and anxiety. He has taken an interest in your channel and subscribed. I think he likes you cause you explain things so well and you use visual representations that make it easy for him to understand. It's very nice to see and knowing he can watch your shorts and learn how to cope better brings me a lot of comfort because as a mum, I dont know everything and there is a extremely long wait for therapy on the nhs
I'm slowly reclaiming my life from anxiety that had crippled me for the last one year! Reclaiming so so many parts!
Love getting my rainbow of life back. 🙏
WOW!! This is me! I feel like I’m procrastinating everything!🤦🏽♀️
Thank you, I needed to hear this. A lot has gone on in my life recently and I'm struggling to handle any of it. Between college studies, dealing with a professor, family problems, and unable to keep up with a relationship. It just feels like I am asking for more help and I don't feel like I can help myself get out of the holes. I know that I can, but with a family that doesn't believe in me, a long distance relationship, and finally making friends, it just doesn't feel like I will be enough. Then, I watch these videos and remember these things: 1. I'm not alone, 2. I can ask for help, and 3. it's ok to start over and try again. A mistake is only the end if you let it be. Good luck to anyone else out there needing their story to be heard!
Wow you're the absolute best therapist I've ever heard. I've literally spent the last two hours listening to your videos. My soul has been touched. I've spent decades looking for healing and what I'm doing wrong. No one has been as knowledgeable and wise as you. Thank you.
The main problem is communication which i lack ,i just don't know how to start a conversation or respond to someone who's in need or help so i usually avoid going out of my home , Home is like heaven to me
Thank you. I needed this. Im realising how my life has shrunk and feels pointless. Im working my way out of it with therapy. But this video and one you did the other day about avoiding things really have helped me work out how my anxiety has taken over and given me another way to work through it all. So thank you. 💜
It helps to only do it for a short period so it doesn't get too overwhelming, reward yourself when you do it so you connect it to something positive, and give yourself a few days break afterwards to decompress
This was something I unintentionally started doing during the pandemic, my parents are already very controlling so I don't get many interactions outside my family, but during lockdown it got so bad I couldn't even talk to my friends on the phone without feeling anxious purely because I hadn't had a conversation with other people in a while. Since then I've met some really supportive people and have slowly been building back confidence in social settings, just today I went to University physically (classes are online) and easily talked to all the people there without feeling anxious or overwhelmed
I started crying I didn't even notice that this is happening to me right now
Woooow, everytime I think, you can't be more accurate, you are like: "Hold my rainbow..." 😍😊
You are beyond awesome! You make so many people feel, that they're not alone and that they belong. 🌈 Thank you :)
That's just so true. I had my life shrunk to a level where i was terrified when someone called me. It took me years to get my life back.
I absolutely love the simple and effective way you convey messages and your use of visuals. Perfect! Thanks so much 🤗
Allowing yourself to avoid them is the issue. Just giving into your anxiety and getting deeper and deeper in your comfort zone is one of the worst things one can do to themselves
That's definitely not me for the last few years 😅 I wouldn't say tho that it's all my fault or anything like that. It started during my childchood as a way of adapting to my environment. I started avoiding because; you can't do anything wrong if you don't do anything; you won't be critized if you never say what you think. You won't be punished for your emotions if you hide them.
Maybe these conclusions aren't logically perfect but they pretty much sums up my way of thinking as a child
I'll always be grateful for your efforts! These videos helps me in ways that I can't express in words.♥️
The fact that I actually started feeling better every time she threw the layers and anxious for every layer she added back.
Thank you dr for explaining complex topics so easyly
You throwing perfectly fine wooden toys on the floor is giving me anxiety 😥
Love your content
You have the greatest way of describing psychology i couldn’t thank you more for your videos
Wow. I really needed this. Had it all before Covid, seem to have nothing now. Trying to claw it back, one step at a time.
your anxiety isnt just gonna go away, it's gonna start attacking anything it can get, that's why my therapist says its very important to just do things you're afraid of sometimes
Tell me why I’m crying right now. I think ima go to bed now. Btw thank you
I'm taking my life back. I'm 55 and going back to college. I've been volunteering and now have no problem with public transportation. I AM on my path to well-being. I appreciate your visual guides.
This hit me so deeply. I think I've been going through this for over a year now and i didn't even realise.
You help me so much! I suffered from anxiety and my sisters aswel but With all your advice we are so happy!
I felt that. To be honest, it's not the anxiety that isolates me from all these events but rather all the fake social media bs that comes with it. All those perfect couples, romances, lifestyles, daily routines.. scrolling through it and seeing it everywhere made me more anxious and depressed. I chose to quit social media for good (no insta, fb, Twitter, or TikTok) just RUclips for entertainment. Life is much simpler now without uploading what I ate, where I went out, what I'm doing today, etc. No pressure in keeping up with the rest. Lost lots of friends since then, but they weren't real friends to begin with.
I feel like we all got a bit distant since the pandemic. It takes time and willingness to go out there and meet people. Life is too short, don't sit around and hope things will work themselves out. It's all in your hands and only your hands. Great video as always 😊
This is beautiful, thank you. I experience this nowadays - removed myself from many people and situations. However, life is not happening, and there are missed opportunities to learn. Have to find a suitable approach and bring those layers back.
Just listening to you speak is a sign of meditation. Thank you!. AND well explained. I totally agree because that was me until i started taking one thing a time.
Awesome visual demonstration. Also encouraging.
I did that to stop my anxiety rising and rising im living my life now with my friends their are the ones who help me. im eleven yrs old im grade 6
I feel called out.....your my new therapist😊
Thank you i needed this. I stay at home all the time, i only get out of my house only if my mom is with me. I never calls anyone too. They scolds me a lot regarding those and i always said "i just need fewer people in my life, my parents my siblings a few relatives and my two besties." I tried believing I'm making a boundary that'll feel good. But all this time i was just scared to step out of it. I'm 21. I need to face the fears.
I had to do this after the pandemic and living in another country. I lived in Japan for a year and while it was amazing, I was very self-conscious that my Japanese wasn't perfect so I avoided going out. Suddenly going back to normal college life when I got back along with the stress of graduating and being on my own kicked me into a mental breakdown. I got sort of better and went to grad school and then the pandemic hit and I was a total shut in outside of class. When I moved in with my partner of 7 years afterwards, he had to slowly reintroduce me to going out and even just going to the store again without getting overwhelmed. I really appreciate the patience he had for me in those days and now I can handle all those things again after years of work. Now my only trigger is my mother, like everyone else
Shes the best therapist ive ever seen
Thank you, Doctor Julie!
That transition from yellow to green. I felt that.
This made me cry. Remembering what ruined my life at a young age from a simple thing of theripy.
I think about anxiety/discomfort similarly: I imagine a "comfort bubble" that surrounds you. You have to keep stretching it out a little bit or it tends to shrink up on you until just doing little things is uncomfortable. I really like this rainbow layer imagery as well! Thanks for sharing. 😊
That hasppend to me, panic attacks have take everything even changed my personality.
Seeing this made me so sad bc it's the exact same thing going on for me, but it also made me incredibly proud of myself bc I started working on taking back things. Having no anxiety attacks without headphones in crowded stores is incredibly amazing.
Dr. Julie I love the way how you explained. Your voice is enough for me calm it's so relaxing
"Layer by layer" - one layer at a time - thank you
I have been watching your videos for a while and i feel really confident now because back then i used to me so anxious and I got tired of being scared but now am happy i coped with it. Thank you docter julie
😊🥰Thank you so much Dr Julie for sharing caring…💖💐
I come here just to listen to her voice,
Voice itself is so soothing.
All the advice is bonus ❤❤❤
Love from India
This is me right now. Spot on. Thank you for your content
Geez. I didn’t even realize that was happening until watching you take those layers away. Thanks for the much needed visual.
The visuals are just brilliant. So simple but so brilliant.
Not only have I heard this advice before but I also tried listening to this short without the visuals.
But the removing of the parts really stuck with me, its strange cause I was left contemplating on something I had already listened to before.
Thanks for the advice ❤😊 I'm feeling overwhelmed about how the future is going to be like and working on my fear that way seems much easier than trying to erase it all at once. I don't want my anxiety to ruin all my dreams before they have even started
Im a student and had a lot of anxiety and spent most of my time to myself. But after i shifted my school my friends over hear really helped me overcome that. They showed me who i truly am and how i should strat socializing. I took slow steps and now i can talk to people without any fear or anxiety.
I started doing this. Since Covid my social anxiety is horrible, I am on medication but still struggle in any public setting. It’s gotten to a point I only go to work or home, stores, or anything else set me off. I’ve realized how much isolation this is causing. On Friday I went to a movie theater and struggled getting there but was fine after a while, then Saturday I took my son to a pumpkin patch that had rides, there was tons of people and it was really hard for me but I got through it. Progress 😊
Thanks for breaking it down like this. It’s helpful.
This is the first psychologist who actually is genuine
I never realised that so much people had this I thought I was left out I really needed this thanks❤
😮Dr. Julie just...damn. Listen to her, please. I've been this broken for like 47 years. There were always glimpses of happiness and potential.
But she just revealed the past intensely sad, isolated, painful 4 years of my life (2019-2023).
I do feel that I'm on the mend through counseling, prayer and meditation, but it's been slow, embarrassing and frustrating. And it's like 80% a self-imposed prison.🥀 I'm praying for the best for you all🙏🏾🌹
This helps explain the burnout and also where I struggle to set boundaries or limits both with myself and others. It's very helpful. Thank you 😊