Yes, it's only when a wounded heart heals that the person begins to be receptive and see's other's who have healed and are ready for a healthy relationship. Thanks for watching. Robert Jackman
@@theartofpracticalwisdom3683 Oh dear Robert, may we all be free from the suffering of our childhood conditioning and continue to meet souls who understand the art of loving, respectful, creative relationships. This is my deepest prayer 🙏🌹😇
This is me. For years, I thought I was the abuser...but I was really just trying to put healthy boundaries in place and he didn't want to abide by them and then we would fight, and fight, and fight. I kept blaming myself but it's only been in the last couple of months that I realized that he actually didn't respect my boundaries.
My mother needed me to fail at everything. She withheld communication, emotional support, and placed me in a psychologically empty environment. What a mess.
Yes, your healed heart is welcoming in others who are like minded. It's harder to make yourself smaller once you've done your healing work. thanks for watching. Robert Jackman
This problem is so fundamental! Meanwhile I am working on it for YEARS; every now and then I need a brake only to continue after a while because meanwhile I can spot the broken pieces of my distroyed inner child. It´s hard work, and very difficult to do all by oneself!
My 23 yr old daughter is trauma bonded to her narcissist Father, he & psychopath girlfriend abused her brother & she completely ignores it... it's scary. Her Father could burn down a house full of little kids & she would say.. oh they must have been bad kids. It's the most disturbing behavior I ever witnessed a complete psychosis state of mind. I should have seen signs like how she would try to act like every girlfriend he had over the years when he would finally show her a little attention. Well she joined the narcissist family cult that she would complain about for years. My son & I think she is unrecognizable. If we so much as say a truth about them she will say its abuse. She was never abused a day in her life living with me for over 10 years her father would barely see her. I think she is mentally unstable especially in using the Abuse card.. who does this to a loving Mom & brother?? We think there is nothing we can do.. we fear how much worse she will get living with them.
We teach people how to treat us but it's a journey when you have an addicted parent & a parent diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, both codependent. You do the best you can to teach people how to treat you but you almost have to start over if you are raised with so much dysfunction. I have chosen to keep many of the relationships, just stick to my new & evolving boundaries as best I can. Most of us have some dysfunction so it's up to us how much we want to tolerate from others. I am realizing I was going after really exciting but maybe narcissistic females as friends because the nice ones were boring to me. Such an odd thing to realize in my middle age years after my mom passed away and I was able to get away from being tied to such dysfunctional relationship patterns.
Wow. Those profiles of the types of childhood psyches we were groomed into, i identify so strongly. The good parent fantasy.. that is exactly it. The root of the double bind, impossible position the child is in (and adult child if the dynamic is allowed to continue). Your validation is really life saving, I’m so grateful.
Thank you for this you don’t know how helpful it is! I hope that people will listen to this, you can’t stay in this kind of relationship it only gets worse! Please leave me. Get out!
Great informative video! Mr. Rosenberg, you would really enjoy looking more into Dr. Margaret Paul’s work. There is a lot of similar overlap with her insights & the program Inner Bonding. You might have already heard about it.
Thank you gentlemen - excellent book. (Was introduced to it in previous video). I appreciate both of you and many others for the excellent work. 🦄⭐🦄✨🦄✨🦄⭐🦄✨🦄⭐🦄
This is me. My dad was alcoholic, saw my mom be beaten, no one wants to hear from a child...grow up to marry a narc. He took 16 years of my life and our child away from me...when will justice prevail?
Where can I find those posters that flashed up later in the video? About children who are codependents. There was about a dozen of the posters. They looked really solid!
I agree, they went by quite quickly. I paused and rewound several times to get to read them, they went by much too fast for me. You could always take screen shots and then paste them into Word or Google documents to print for yourself (with proper attribution of course.) They would make great posters, yes.
Thanks & good job! I'm on this path to recovering from toxic relationships. I came across evolutionary psychology. Is it possible that narcissism is a more adaptive coping strategy? It seems that from an evolutionary perspective that narcissism works. Thoughts? I want to be happy. How do I compete with narcissists and win the evolutionary game?
Be warned, you get yourself but at the expense of family and a large portion of "friends." I am just saying I am adopted and being adopted sets one up to be narc bait, and once you bow out of that dance, you potentially can lose your adoptive family. That is what happened to me. I have a family of my own now but my adoptive mother died disappointed in me, my dad talks about "your family" meaning not his...and my sister is a malignant narc sociopath who kicked me out of the family with family court(she has millions and I had no chance). My aunt and uncle took my sister's side and treat me like I am not in the family. They are rich also. Essentially I had no choice. I could no longer live a lie and survive but I was not aware of the tremendous cost. The life I've built is rickety...and not as grounded(I've been kicked out of two families for those who are non-adopted) as it was. So...Let my story be a lesson on the cost.
My daughter is trauma bonded to her narcissist Father, she enables his behavior. Her Father abused her brother & she doesn't want to know she avoids talking about it, she doesn't care she is a 23 yr old young lady who runs from her problems. If my son talks about the truth or I do she says its abuse. Her narcissist Father could burn down a house full of kids &she would say.. well they were bad kids. Its very disturbing behavior, I don't know how to help her. She lies so much she isn't even the same person anymore, very self centered. Its sad.
I'm so sorry I are going through this. I understand as my daughter is much the same,distorted beliefs from her dad that is impacting her now.lets pray for all involved.
Hurt people hurt people. She honestly only cared about tje paycheck abd who they could use in the group....I couldn't take the abuse anm.ore do I chose to leave.. It different for everyone I guess. In many ways I. Surprised I'm alive.I use to watch it almunfokd in the courthouse. I feel like a split person. Half a person left ...nothing more nothing less.I had hope to ve farther diwn along this road.its taken a huge toll on my life s d health.
Ok. What about a child born to a widow with co dependency, who goes to work...I had a narcissistic sibling. I unknowingly married narcissists...divorced, remarried I'm suggesting it happens due to any familial distortions...dynamics. My story is hair raising.
Same dynamic, regardless of the family member who is narcissistic. (It doesn't have to just be parents, but they tend to form the deepest wounds/programming in us since they are also our authority figures and assigned "protectors" from birth.) If you are walking on eggshells around anyone whether family members, friends, etc., you are entrenching the fawning / people pleasing trauma-driven dynamic. (Or "training others how to treat you" as they said here.) In all cases, loving yourself and setting good boundaries are key to true happiness and success in your own relationships, regardless of your origin story. Best of luck to you.
A Wounded Heart cannot connect to a healed heart. That's powerful!
Yes, it's only when a wounded heart heals that the person begins to be receptive and see's other's who have healed and are ready for a healthy relationship. Thanks for watching. Robert Jackman
@@theartofpracticalwisdom3683 Oh dear Robert, may we all be free from the suffering of our childhood conditioning and continue to meet souls who understand the art of loving, respectful, creative relationships. This is my deepest prayer 🙏🌹😇
@@kimberlymccracken747 thats absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
This is me. For years, I thought I was the abuser...but I was really just trying to put healthy boundaries in place and he didn't want to abide by them and then we would fight, and fight, and fight. I kept blaming myself but it's only been in the last couple of months that I realized that he actually didn't respect my boundaries.
I can't afford theraphy right now, and these online conversations and books suggestions are phenomenal!
Thank you so much Ross.
My mother needed me to fail at everything. She withheld communication, emotional support, and placed me in a psychologically empty environment. What a mess.
Totally agree. It is about understanding, responsibility,acceptance and boundaries.
Love this conversation. It’s so true once I healed my heart I only attract healthy people now. Loved healing my childhood trauma
Yes, your healed heart is welcoming in others who are like minded. It's harder to make yourself smaller once you've done your healing work. thanks for watching. Robert Jackman
This so resonate with me, My dad is narc and My ex too. I remember as i kid how i use to be 'good kid' and now i understand this Path of codependency
This problem is so fundamental! Meanwhile I am working on it for YEARS; every now and then I need a brake only to continue after a while because meanwhile I can spot the broken pieces of my distroyed inner child. It´s hard work, and very difficult to do all by oneself!
Checking in. Glad to be here!
I think about this every day, this is why I connected with your videos, anyway I can't wait to see this video.
My 23 yr old daughter is trauma bonded to her narcissist Father, he & psychopath girlfriend abused her brother & she completely ignores it... it's scary. Her Father could burn down a house full of little kids & she would say.. oh they must have been bad kids. It's the most disturbing behavior I ever witnessed a complete psychosis state of mind. I should have seen signs like how she would try to act like every girlfriend he had over the years when he would finally show her a little attention. Well she joined the narcissist family cult that she would complain about for years. My son & I think she is unrecognizable. If we so much as say a truth about them she will say its abuse. She was never abused a day in her life living with me for over 10 years her father would barely see her. I think she is mentally unstable especially in using the Abuse card.. who does this to a loving Mom & brother?? We think there is nothing we can do.. we fear how much worse she will get living with them.
We teach people how to treat us but it's a journey when you have an addicted parent & a parent diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, both codependent. You do the best you can to teach people how to treat you but you almost have to start over if you are raised with so much dysfunction. I have chosen to keep many of the relationships, just stick to my new & evolving boundaries as best I can. Most of us have some dysfunction so it's up to us how much we want to tolerate from others. I am realizing I was going after really exciting but maybe narcissistic females as friends because the nice ones were boring to me. Such an odd thing to realize in my middle age years after my mom passed away and I was able to get away from being tied to such dysfunctional relationship patterns.
Wow. Those profiles of the types of childhood psyches we were groomed into, i identify so strongly. The good parent fantasy.. that is exactly it. The root of the double bind, impossible position the child is in (and adult child if the dynamic is allowed to continue). Your validation is really life saving, I’m so grateful.
Thank you very much for these wisdom bites. I’m excited to share with the wounded souls in my life.
Thank you for this you don’t know how helpful it is! I hope that people will listen to this, you can’t stay in this kind of relationship it only gets worse! Please leave me. Get out!
Great informative video! Mr. Rosenberg, you would really enjoy looking more into Dr. Margaret Paul’s work. There is a lot of similar overlap with her insights & the program Inner Bonding. You might have already heard about it.
Thank you gentlemen - excellent book. (Was introduced to it in previous video). I appreciate both of you and many others for the excellent work. 🦄⭐🦄✨🦄✨🦄⭐🦄✨🦄⭐🦄
Thank you so much Kimberly and all the best on your healing journey. Thanks for watching. Robert Jackman
This is me. My dad was alcoholic, saw my mom be beaten, no one wants to hear from a child...grow up to marry a narc. He took 16 years of my life and our child away from me...when will justice prevail?
Gold star rated conversation. Absolutely fantastic ❤🙏🏻
Hello @Ross Rosenberg 👋🏾
Thank you for the wonderful work you provide for this community of Self Love Defficients. Getting better at it by the day
I've been destroyed by my narcissistic parents, we are not allowed to express sadness or anger. Because I'm emotional, my dad says I'm different, 😢
This is fantastic 👏👏. Wish the slides were slower. 👍
You can rewatch and pause on those to take notes.
@@nancyb.231 I’m aware
@@cathy_clarinet same. I had to rewind and rewatch about 3x to get them all. Frustrating. I wish he would have held them on screen longer.
Thanks for this wonderful interview about a hugely important issue, it resonated so much..
Thankyou for these videos 🙏🏻 Following from Scotland 🏴. Excellent!
Where can I find those posters that flashed up later in the video? About children who are codependents. There was about a dozen of the posters. They looked really solid!
I agree, they went by quite quickly. I paused and rewound several times to get to read them, they went by much too fast for me. You could always take screen shots and then paste them into Word or Google documents to print for yourself (with proper attribution of course.) They would make great posters, yes.
@@JanGroh I forgot the video is still up and that it wasn't just a live one time video. Good idea!
Interested in the posters too.
Thank you 🤗hearing this is gonne help my allot in my Healing procces 😊😉🤗🤗🤗
Great video!
Thank you
Thanks & good job! I'm on this path to recovering from toxic relationships. I came across evolutionary psychology. Is it possible that narcissism is a more adaptive coping strategy? It seems that from an evolutionary perspective that narcissism works. Thoughts? I want to be happy. How do I compete with narcissists and win the evolutionary game?
thankyou both
Thank you so much for watching
Be warned, you get yourself but at the expense of family and a large portion of "friends." I am just saying I am adopted and being adopted sets one up to be narc bait, and once you bow out of that dance, you potentially can lose your adoptive family. That is what happened to me. I have a family of my own now but my adoptive mother died disappointed in me, my dad talks about "your family" meaning not his...and my sister is a malignant narc sociopath who kicked me out of the family with family court(she has millions and I had no chance). My aunt and uncle took my sister's side and treat me like I am not in the family. They are rich also. Essentially I had no choice. I could no longer live a lie and survive but I was not aware of the tremendous cost. The life I've built is rickety...and not as grounded(I've been kicked out of two families for those who are non-adopted) as it was. So...Let my story be a lesson on the cost.
Thank you. 🦄💗
Ross! Reading human magnet syndrome for Audible for the 100th time
My daughter is trauma bonded to her narcissist Father, she enables his behavior. Her Father abused her brother & she doesn't want to know she avoids talking about it, she doesn't care she is a 23 yr old young lady who runs from her problems. If my son talks about the truth or I do she says its abuse. Her narcissist Father could burn down a house full of kids &she would say.. well they were bad kids. Its very disturbing behavior, I don't know how to help her. She lies so much she isn't even the same person anymore, very self centered. Its sad.
I'm so sorry I are going through this. I understand as my daughter is much the same,distorted beliefs from her dad that is impacting her now.lets pray for all involved.
Hurt people hurt people. She honestly only cared about tje paycheck abd who they could use in the group....I couldn't take the abuse anm.ore do I chose to leave.. It different for everyone I guess. In many ways I. Surprised I'm alive.I use to watch it almunfokd in the courthouse. I feel like a split person. Half a person left ...nothing more nothing less.I had hope to ve farther diwn along this road.its taken a huge toll on my life s d health.
how can you tell the difference between a female narcissist and a female codependent. Raised by a single parent and I am codependent.
Ok. What about a child born to a widow with co dependency, who goes to work...I had a narcissistic sibling. I unknowingly married narcissists...divorced, remarried I'm suggesting it happens due to any familial distortions...dynamics. My story is hair raising.
Same dynamic, regardless of the family member who is narcissistic. (It doesn't have to just be parents, but they tend to form the deepest wounds/programming in us since they are also our authority figures and assigned "protectors" from birth.) If you are walking on eggshells around anyone whether family members, friends, etc., you are entrenching the fawning / people pleasing trauma-driven dynamic. (Or "training others how to treat you" as they said here.) In all cases, loving yourself and setting good boundaries are key to true happiness and success in your own relationships, regardless of your origin story. Best of luck to you.
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕