Katrin Berndt idk why pple say stupid shit ..I’ve had kids young I’m now 43 but everyone makes the choices for themselves.You are beautiful and you have a glow or a light about you .
I know right? I have a beautiful niece and nephew. I watched him grow up into a fine man graduating college now and my niece is almost 15. My sisters been married now for about 28 years because they enjoyed their marriage before having children. In my humble opinion anyway they waited 4 years. Same with a friend of mine they waited three years to enjoy themselves and their marriage and they’re going on 19 years married. Just makes me wonder. They were both child free when meeting in college.
@Duke of Istria As a Norwegian, Scandinavia will always belong to the Nords not matter how many middle easterners reproduce they will live in our countries by our rules if they didn’t like it they can go back where they came from.
I told my mom that I'm childfree by choice, but she kept telling me that she wanted a baby. Then I JOKINGLY said "If you love baby so much, why don't you just get a baby by adoption?" A year later, my mom adopted a baby. The baby and I have age gap like 25+ years old xD
I always had this feeling like I wanted to throw up when I imagined myself raising a baby, just a nasty feeling in my stomach. I still do and I am 53. Lol
@Cody Co Same here. Never wanted kid's. Now almost 60, and lovin life! A lot of people our age are financially bailing out their grown kid's and/or raising grandkid's!
Reminds me of my aunt. She’s currently living it up in Las Vegas, eating great food, hanging out with cool people, traveling wherever and whenever she wants, has freedom like no one else. She also has the money to be generous like no one else, recently gave me her old car since I was having trouble getting my own. Just because you don’t have your own children doesn’t mean you can’t help another life.
As a man not wanting kids, I get written off as immature and a man-child. It's degrading and pisses me off, sure, but it's not even close to the BS woman in the same position as I am face. I'm happily married and I have a cat (see picture), so, happy life 🙂
I don't have children and never said I didn't want them, I've just never really so far felt a yearning, want or a void. Marriage on the other hand, yes that has always scared the sh#% out of me and has always been a HELL NO! You can't IMAGINE the pure look of disgust I get especially for women and especially conservative Christian women!
My partner always drops hints about wanting kids and I don't. He is a massive man child. Part of the reason I won't have kids with him is because he is immature and needs help from his parents to look after his child with his ex. If anything I'd say you are mature as you find it's the people who have kids unplanned usually put the responsibility of their own child onto other people. Not all the time this happens but in some cases. I wish my partner didn't want any more kids because he is not mature enough to admit that he is not financially and independently ready too. I know for a fact because me and my partner still live at home, there is no way on earth I would have kids. I may add as well how I have been treated like a child because I don't have kids, so people do get the wrong assumption. A relative once said to me 'you mature more when you have kids'. That pissed me off because I've seen so many immature parents around, it just depends on the individual.
it dawned on me when i was 11 i was never marrying or having children. the night my older brother brought home his girlfriend. i stared at them in the VW van and i recall clearly to this day (54) i whispered more to myself than anyone "i'm never getting married... i'm never gonna marry, i'm never gonna marry and i'm never gonna have kids..." clear as a bell to this day (they did). in my 20's and early thirties people ragged on me for being single and child-free as something shameful. everyone who ever mentioned it asked me to explain myself and I recall telling a boss to fuck off. HR had some sense and told him any more invasive questions and I'd be able to sue. co-workers tell me "Gotta bun in the oven!" - nauseating euphemism. Beaming at me, standing there expectantly. i stare blankly as if to ask "...and...?" they get pissed off i'm not congratulating them. You want kids, marriage? G'head. Just don't bring it to me and get bent when I don't care.
i can't imagine having a baby for attention. It's wayyy too much work and I see too much attention as negative anyway. I have 2 kids but never posted any pics of them.
I'm 56 and happily childfree. I've always known I didn't want kids, despite 40 years of hearing, "it'll be different when you have kids...". I've never had a twinge of regret. I'm so glad you and others are speaking out. Maybe your generation will be the one in which people finally realize that living childfree is a healthy, positive choice for those of us who don't want kids.
I’m 27 and I don’t want children, and don’t ever want to become pregnant. It’s a legit fear of mine! What sucks is that when I tell people this they just say aww you’ll change your mind or they low key wish pregnancy on me to like teach me some kind of fucked up lesson. It’s so screwed up that people would want to force a child to be born when their mother didn’t even want them in the first place, it’s just horrible.
I've gotten the "well that shows you need to have kids to learn a lesson" response, too! It's so weird that in the same breath they'll call you irresponsible AND say the solution is to be charged with the care of a helpless human being
This is SUCH an interesting topic to me. My whole life I have loved kids and thought I wanted children. Everyone talks about how great it is. Then I had a child and regretted it the first 3 months. I love my child, but I realized loving other people’s children and having your own child is SO different. I was one who didn’t ever realize being child free was a choice. Thanks for sharing your perspective on the topic!
Wow, what a brave soul you are! This is actually an epidemic in the (US) but moms are too afraid to speak up. On a childfree blog it was mentioned to Google "I hate being a mom" you get something ridiculous like 300 million results! A lot of moms expressed being hoodwinked and bamboozled by motherhood and regretted it. They also expressed dark feelings of depression and suicide but were afraid to speak up out of fear of being crucified for it. Suicides have exploded for women especially WW, 60% increase in less than 20yrs! This is being ignored because it's a women's issue and women still don't have enough support.
bhmoore182 This is exactly why I work in childcare. I adore kids, but by the end of the day I'm absolutely exhausted and so happy to send them back home to their parents. 😂
I hear you! I have 2 kids, love them with all my heart, but if i could turn back time, i wouldn’t be a mom. I don’t like it, it changed my life, it changed me as a person and i don’t really like who i became and every time i dare to say anything like this out laud it’s like sacrilege!
@@emmabunch-benson7922 Yes! I hate that people assume that if I say I don't want kids I must dislike kids, or that if people realize I like kids they double down on the assumptions that I want kids!
My dad is very quick to anger and when I was growing up, during angry episodes he would frequently tell me that he wished he never had kids. We never had a real discussion about it beyond that, but it was extremely hurtful and has always stuck with me. I don't want children and I never want anyone's children to have to feel the way I felt and still feel.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've gone through similar things. My parents always said that they would have had way better careers if they didn't have kids (they had 3). I know that they still cared for me but I understand that their lives definitely would have been better if they didn't have so many kids (or any kids at all). I don't take it personally in any way, but I have learned from them and I'm choosing to not have kids ever.
@@emmabunch-benson7922 AGREED! Any parent who makes you feel guilty for simply existing probably shouldnt have had kids. You hold your child accountable for their mistakes and disrespect. What you DON'T do is make them feel guilty because you feel your life is over.
I worked in an old peoples home. Several residents had shrines to children and grandchildren in their rooms but none of their families names were ever in the visitors book. So just because you have kids doesn't mean you won't end up alone and no one visiting. We had a few people with no children, they got a ton of visitors, so many friends! I asked them why and they told me because they didn't have to put their energy into children, they put it into their friendships. So ended up with a lot of strong friendships from all different times in their lives. The people who raised kids had less friends it seemed. Kids tend become the center of your world and everything else gets neglected as you try to keep them alive. They also had more friends because of a stronger social life they had before they got to the home. E.g they had the time to join several clubs thus meeting more people.
My mom worked in a nursing home too! She mentioned similar stuff where some elderly people never had family visit and it was just a way to get rid of them. Pretty sad. Childfree elderly tended to be happier because they never had to wait and hope for family to visit, they're already pretty independent and were never disappointed about their predicament because they're usually the ones who put themselves in a nursing home in the first place lol.
Yes! Culture and society needs to catch up quick! This is a non married adult population (US) and we have a declining birth rate? During your life you will have many different relationships with so many people, related or not. Don't just put all your energy into your spouse and kids, they may not have your back, if they do great. Balance things out so if you have kids or not married or not you've got a network of people who've got your back, namaste.
This is so true. I worked in a nursing home for 8yrs and i could not believe how people with large families had absolutely nobody visit them. We would only see these supposed families when the person would die. They knew money was coming along through inheritance. On the other hand, there was this 95yr man who never had kids. He used to have a lady visit him every week and she swould buy him every thing he needed for his care. The week he passed away, that woman stayed with us day and night. We even got her an extra bed in hisroom and he died in her presence. She held his hand and comforted him. Come to find out later, she was not even his daughter. She was his bestfriend's daughter!!!!
I love seeing more childfree people in the media! I don't want kids for a large variety of reasons that I could talk about for hours. It's so frustrating to hear people tell me that i'll "regret it later". I can bet money that I've done 10x the research when it comes to childbirth, child rearing, congenital diseases that may occur in early childhood and the environmental damage that having kids does. But I'M the one that's going to regret my decision for not wanting them. I call bullshit. I'm a 23 year old women with a bachelors in science who plans to get my Masters Degree and I get called childish, immature, and foolish or selfish for not wanting a kid and that "I don't know any better". However, an 18 year old drop out popping out a kid is somehow "amazing" and "heroic" and "brave" and overall celebrated and never really questioned. How does that make any sense to anyone? Am I the weird one here??
@@emmabunch-benson7922 I think so too! Theres no way a person would still want kids if they knew everything involved when it comes to child rearing lmao. Ignorance is "bliss" I guess?
I think you are the smart one, I’m 28 and I keep hearing a friend on “how hard is to take care of her kid” and that she never have money and ask me for some, and that She is jealous that I’m always traveling and having fun and she has to take care of her kid. Soooo I’m guessing not having kids it’s a good idea, apart that I don’t imagine having to sacrifice my live to take care of another person :S
I get you man it’s rough for people not wanting to be a mom or dad your just selfish in there eyes which you should be with your own life yet there trying to be selfish at your own expense
The morning after my wedding my husbands grandmother said “so when are you getting pregnant?” I said “maybe never” and all the family members around practically gasped. Rude questions get rude answers, I don’t care who it is. Later on people were like why did you say that to grandma?! My worst fear is pregnancy and I can’t even imagine that happening.
Yeah, but respect the culture too. It takes nothing to swallow your pride for the old lady who grew up in a different time, and answer "maybe later.." my husband loves his grandma, I would never answer so rudely. I know everyone in the comments is saying you were right, but know your audience, and measure the impact of your words.
My friend is currently pregnant and I'm so excited to be able to help her with the baby and for her to have a child but I'm still sure I never want kids of my own. Super ready to be the cool aunt for the rest of my life
The way people constantly ask ”so when are you having kids?” etc really bothers me. It’s so stupid. What if having kids is my biggest dream but I can’t have kids? What if I’m trying and have been for years but it’s just really difficult? What if I just don’t want kids and here you are assuming, putting pressure on me and disrespecting my choice by saying I will change my mind. The obsession about other people having kids or not needs to stop.
This I had this too. And 5 years ago i had a miscarriage. And never been pregnant again. But also when my sister in law was pregnant i got comments like "when will you start"😠
I relate so much to your feeling that life ends when you have kids (for you). I've always known I don't want children, but I used to think I HAVE to have them, so there I was at 12 stressing about doing everything I want with my life by 25. Realizing I can be childfree was amazing for me.
I've been hearing "you're too young to know what yu want, you will change your mind" since I'm 20. I'm 32 now and when I talked to my doctor about replacing my coil when it's time, she tried to discourage me because I would start to "run out of time" and pregnancy could be harder/less safe and I'm like o_0 I don't careeeee replace my coil!
Yep, a woman's worth is apparently only dependent on whether or not they want to be an incubator. It's pretty gross. Like, people still support it when a 16 year old girl gets pregnant but if a well educated girl in their 20s/30s doesn't ever want to have children, it means that they're just "too immature" to understand. like wtf.
"You're running out of time" Yes, that is the idea. We keep hoofing this in the baby maker till it stops making babies. That is entirely the point of the device.
I had a similar experience to this. I went to have a coil and the doctor who recognised me from previous visits said 'oh, still not ready for kids yet? '.... Umm yet? I don't want them at all 😂 so rude.
I’m a 45 yr old Mother of 2, saying that, I don’t judge anyone’s decision in life. I respect your decision and I’ll never judge you. I am pro choice. I would respect the decision of my children if either of them decide not to have children of their own. You do you
I'm always confused about the "Do you fear growing old alone?" question cause my only answer is: nope. There's a difference between being alone against your will and making the active decision to be alone. I mean yeah, company is nice and all but I prefer being alone. I can get company elsewhere than with a child or a partner, I rather fear not being alone.
Yeah I agree with that. I guess I just assume it gets depressive when you’re 80 and everyone you know and love has died haha. Might be lonely. But it’s NOT a reason to have kids.
@@Katrinberndt totally get that, it might be scary to a lot of people to "be alone for such a long time" (basically meaning forever) and to maybe not have the choice of company anymore at a certain age. But children aren't toys that solely exist to give you company when you need one just as your partner doesn't exist for that single purpose. I also find that the choice of not having children is one of your standpoint on education and children's rights. I prefer not to have children because I don't want children to grow up under circumstances where they're not treated as the individuals they are amongst other reasons and that's nothing I can guarantee for them.
@@REGINLEIIF I think a problem is that age 80+ is obviously when your body is deteriorating and it's very hard to do things by yourself. I know a couple that had no children and the wife is also an only child. Her husband now has Alzheimer's and is in hospital and she can't get out very often. I can imagine it must be very lonely for her, and having a close family would mean she would have someone to help her as she grows older. Still doesn't convince me to have children though but I can also imagine growing old alone with no one is sad.
I know more people "alone" with kids. Having kids is NO guarantee of being cared for in old age. In fact, just about every person with adult children (20-40s) are alone with no hope of having the loving family member care. The kids only care about themselves. Sad but true.
I agree. And some people (like my ex) can make you feel so unhappy and unloved, and make your life so miserable, that I am more afraid of spending my life with someone like that then alone.
I'm 20 and NEVER wanted kids. Everytime I tell this to someone they disregard my opinion with the usual responses (you know them). Like did you even listen to my words?
I'm 23 and I get the same response. It's a lack of respect for women in general and treating us like children. So our choices and opinions dont mean anything because we're too "childish" to understand what we're doing. It's extremely disrespectful.
Im 24 and I get that too. Mostly from older people and people having kids. The worst were my ex (we were both around 20-21 at the time) who said "yeah lets see about that when the time comes" as if i do not have a choice. I do have a choice and that is one of the reasons that he is an ex
@@emmabunch-benson7922 Yep, I've seen this first hand and it always shocked me another reason why I would never marry it's too hard, I'll date until I die.
With the state the world is in right now I feel like it is actually kinder to not bring a child into this mess (plus there's the fact that we are over-populated).
I absolutely love and when you talk about this topic. At the age of 16 I was obsessed about having a child as soon as possible. Whenever I saw a pregnant woman, a baby or anything related my heart was aching. Now at 25 I know it was for the wrong reasons and when I finally realized that and opened my eyes it's completely the opposite. Whenever I see a child or whatever it increases the fact that I actually don't want a child and most importantly for the good reasons now. Thank you for making these kinds of videos !
Appreciate that you mentioned that adoption and surrogacy are very problematic and I hope those who are unaware will look into those industries beyond what the lobbyists and companies that profit on it say.
Amen. I didn’t feel comfortable going into too much detail in this video, but they are extremely problematic and it frustrates me when people say “well there’s always adoption or surrogacy if you end up changing your mind”... no
@@Katrinberndt Katrin, could you maybe make a video on that? I get the surrogacy issue, but adoption? Would have never thought there might be a problem. I will definitely look into that, but your insight would be appreciated.
L T. I didn’t intend for this to be a discussion thread (and I won’t make it one). I’m glad you had a good experience with the adoption industry, unfortunately that’s not the case for a lot of others.
I've known that I wanted to be childfree since I was nine years old. I'm 24 today and had sterilization surgery three years ago. I feel more sure about my decision every single day.
You’re lucky to be able to get that surgery. In some countries women’s body doesn’t belong to them 😒 Fear of any unplanned pregnancy scares the hell out of me.
I didn’t want kids for so long, then there were a few short years that I did want kids. I’m 35 now and I’m happy I didn’t have kids. I was forced to babysit my siblings when I was younger and it really ruined my childhood. I’ve recently found out I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), basically abnormal mensural cycles that make it super hard to get pregnant, but I’m ok with that. So now I just feel that if I get pregnant then I get pregnant. And if I don’t then I’m fine with that too! My husband and I like to travel and sleep in, so we really love being able to do whatever we want, when we want. Maybe that’s selfish, but I’d rather be selfish and know it then have kids and have that affect the child’s life.
Not selfish at all! In fact, I would argue that having children is a selfish act. It's a way for people to deal with their existentialism. Some people have kids cause they're bored or use them as retirement plans. All pretty selfish. I've discussed with people that having kids in this day and age is actually sort of unethical considering the amount of environmental damage that a human inflicts in their lifetime. So choosing to have kids now, when we're wildly over populated is pretty selfish in my opinion. However, I've gotten the response "if anyone deserves to have kids, I think it's me" from numerous amounts of people. Sounds pretty egotistical and selfish to me lol.
Never even thought of being jealous of the 9 month attention while pregnant. Never was with a man that was interested in kinds. And finally this decision was totally taken away from me at 26 with hysterectomy. I was adopted and it did not work out well. Adoptive mother was furious when I HAD to have a hysterectomy so young. Never forgave me. Like I had a choice in the decision.
@@sinlobo84 Thank you. I do not really look at it that way it is just life . So many have it much worst. I never was sorry I never had kids though. Even at 70 and totally alone. I LOVE life. My house plants animals yard. Not in this order. Happy to wake up each morning to see what kind of hell I can raise. Today I hope to finally finish putting back together a love seat I bought in a hurry one time when company was coming and could not find what I wanted. Always hated it. The arms were big fat ugly. So I peeled back the fabric cut down the wood part of the arms. Rebuilt where needed with pieces I took off. Painted what I needed to. Later will mosaic maybe. And finally will get the love seat back into place and reclaim my living room dining room space. OMG I have made a mess in here even using drop cloths. So proud of myself I have finally done this and now love seat is 6 inches shorter all because of the fat arms are gone. Nice modernish looking ones now. Thanks so much for your comment. You are very kind.
@El Hoffman Oh I did just that the day after I graduated high school I left home never to return with out a protection person with me. See she was mostly covert narcissist so in front of another butter would not melt in her mouth. Thankfully later in my life my then hubby read her like a book. She did come to visit us once in our humble little log cabin in the mountains on the river we built just the two of us a one of hubbies friends. She died in 2002 and the rest of the adoptive family got all her money. But I came out so far ahead as I earned the money I have now. Even though I cried poor mouth to her I was building a nest egg that now is supporting me well. Live is good. Last man/woman standing wins.
I love your honesty. in two months I will be 37 years old and for the last 25 years of my life i know that I dont want to have kids. every time when I say that I dont want to marry and have children, people don't believe me. .. they look at me like i've fallen from Mars ... or laugh politely and say " OOoooo... but you don't really mean that.. hahahhaha..." but.. YES I DO!!! I have lots of nieces and nephews and all are dear to my heart... but I prefer cats. :D
Childfree by choice 33 yr old over here - been with my boyfriend 11 years. 💚💚💚 I want to thank the women that selflessly choose not to reproduce for the sake of the environment 🙌
I've known for a long time that I didn't ever want to have kids (I'm 26), but I've never really met anyone in real life who felt the same way that I do. I've been listening to the Barnfrihet podcast since you mentioned being on one of the episodes and it's been so nice to hear about the experiences and perspectives from other childfree people (especially ones that are from a similar culture). I'm Danish though so I don't always understand 100 % of it, but still enough that I can follow along lol. I just wanted to thank you for talking about this topic, I feel like it doesn't get talked about nearly enough.
i really agree with what you said. just wanted to point out since you mentioned having kids for 18 or more years. if you're a parent, you're a parent forever (unless some accident happens with your child). you may only be required to take care of a child for 18 years, but you will take care of them in one way or another for much much longer
My boyfriend (of 6 years) and I are also child free by choice. We have 3 pets going on 4 and that’s all we need. I just don’t have that motherly instinct towards humans and animals equally give me that satisfaction and I’m okay with that.
This is so incredibly helpful to hear. Everything you’ve expressed is what I feel but can’t sort out in my head. I’m 31 and have never felt a maternal desire my whole life. Now that everyone is having kids, i feel like i keep getting asked when my turn is and it almost had me questioning it whether i should do it just to not get left behind. This was super helpful!
I'm currently 25 right now and currently struggling with moderate to severe depression and anxiety and I do know that parenting is not for me. The mental part of it though is just accepting it and that I was given a gift of Djing and producing music as my way to calm myself down and just being around other people. I'm truly thankful to be doing this in my life and to be honest I cannot complain. Its my way of staying happy, peaceful, and more spiritual.😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you so much for your video. I'm about to be 30 and I made my decision when I was 13. Since I'm from latin América I felt regected my all life by my family, either making fun of it or making unnecesary coments. This has cost me lossing "the love of my life", my relationship with my father and so on. And non of those actions has made me changing my decision. I'm so glad everyone around you Is so ok with it, its a matter of time for us as women can get to the point, where we don't have to explain and defend our decisions so much.
I'm 58 years old and knew from middle school that I never wanted kids. My middle school teacher did a talk on exponential population growth - this was waaaay back in the 70's - when most of you weren't even a twinkle in your parents' eyes! Anyway, he explained that even having "only" 2 children (assuming a very low death rate) contributes to exponential growth. I also was never a huge fan of kids (don't hate them - just don't dig them) - and definitely not a fan of babies. I'm shocked that so many didn't even realize you don't HAVE to have children! Yeesh. I guess I'm super lucky that both of my parents never put ANY pressure on me to have kids - and we were all of like minds that there are too many people on this earth. Thank you, Katrin for talking on this subject! 💞
Life is actually full of suffering. Too many people forget about that, because they are not going through it right now, they will probably feel it only when they become very old and very ill. But I had depression since I was 14, so I know it already... That is also why it is people who decide to have kids should think twice, because how can you predict what their life will be like? What if they have mental illness and suffer a lot? People, who do not have kids do not put anyone else in danger, but when someone decides to have a child, they should consider risks for the child
Hello, I came across to your video just awhile ago. “I don’t give a nothing about what people think “ Loved it 😊 ❤️💐 I believe people will always have their opinion. Life is how you make it. At the end of the day I am responsible for myself, unlike being codependent with../dependent on, someone else.
I’m child free by choice. I knew as a teenager that I didn’t want children. I’m almost 55 years old. I had a uncle and aunt who chose to be child free so I had an example. People ask if I miss having kids, the answer is still no. Being child free isn’t about being selfish, my husband and I feel it is a blessing.
4 года назад+5
I worked @ a "rich ppl's" school for 2y (still have nightmares about the place, and my connection with them ended in 2016, just so you know), where parents talked openly about having their children to "save their marriages", which is completely empathy-free, mindblowing, selfish and disgusting to me. This is what cemented my undesire for having a child. A child isn't an object to save anything, it's a human being, and bringing it to this world with the sole purpose to "save" anything is not only wrong, but dumb and it will cause life-long problems to said child. Another point I want to make is that even if some of us who are child-free today regret our decisions later, there is always adoption, and I think is a more humane decision than putting yet another person in this planet. So, probably not gonna get someone growing in my body (which is gross). Edit: about parents' expectations, I'm currently in a relationship with someone who's parents are very conservative and didn't even let us sleep in the same room while visiting them; recently, we went on a family trip together and they reserved us a room to spend the nights together. I told bf that this is their way of saying "we want grandkids"; little do they know... Edit #2: about governmet support of poor/miserable families, I'm brazilian and I have some close friends who needed (and got it, thanks to the "lefty" government we had a few years ago) support and help to eat and attend school properly, without worrying too much about their finances, and those are the ones who educated me to the need that people have; it turns out that living in a mostly catholic/evangelical society that preaches "multiplying" is needed that the gov. provides such help, bc marginalized groups get screwed over very easily. So, even though is not ideal that this kind of help be needed, it is the reality of those people.
I’m so grateful for your honesty about being child free by choice - I am pretty much 100% sure I don’t want kids and I know that’s a perfectly valid wish, yet I still find myself feeling guilty and somewhat ashamed of it. Your unapologetic discussions are so refreshing and reassuring, as well as being able to see so many comments I can relate to ❤️
Youve been a childfree influence in my life before i knew what childfree means or if it was even an option. Thank you for educating other people about the free of choosing to be or not to be a parent !
I'm on the other side of the road. Always wanted children and still do. Just found out a week ago that I need to have a hysterectomy done soon. I now try to cope with this big life changing news by looking into why people decide not to have kids to get all the perspectives in. Thank you for you talking about it so openly, really helps!
You are so mature, I am impressed. What you are saying is just so right and it is so great to hear it. I’m 37 and child free by choice and it is not always easy to explain to friends and family... my husband and I laughed so much when watching the video of you and your niece. Amazing! Thanks for that! 😊 And you are gorgeous by the way, love your hair!
you have literally read my mind with every word you spoke ! I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I've always felt that my life would end and I would have no purpose If I had kids. Thank you ! ! !
I just have to say the new frequent uploads are giving me life! I always enjoy watching your videos and I love hearing your thoughts on being child-free as it's something I can relate to. I think you word things very well! :)
I love this videos!! Im child free by choice too and i feel the same way about so many things, im so glad im not the only one that doesn’t think it’s disrespectful to say im gonna change my mind and im an idiot
I've always known I didn't want kids, and finally at age 30 people have stopped telling me I'll change my mind Also I may just be a huge loner/introvert but getting super old/dying alone sounds great please >.< Don't want anyone around for that - maybe a dog/cat
I pray I meet someone like you. I couldn’t agree more with everything you spoke about. I’m 35 and single because apparently in New Jersey there are no women that want to be child free. I lost 2 long-term relationships with because they swore they could get me to change my mind. Last one told me “have fun being alone forever”. What’s wrong people
It's so nice to hear all these thoughts. My mother was vehemently against my choice not to have kids for a long time, and it was hard to deal with sometimes. I'm glad I've finally found people who feel the same way I do.
Gurl you rock... not only your tattoo video's but just putting out this topic. I am not childfree by choice.. but i know some people who are childfree by choice. I have a lot of people ask me when I GET kids or if i get kids. But it isnt even a choice and people are so rude on this subject like we need to put children into this world..
Have been looking for a lot of child free videos and this one's the best. I liked the part where you said it doesn't matter when you decided to go child free. And appreciate the points you put up here. Great video. Thank you.
I just subscribed to your channel, this is the very first video and I just finished watching it like 2 seconds ago! I absolutely love this! I’m 34 and child free and will keep it like that forever! I’m happy with my life!
I knew at a very young age I didn't want babies and I used to say so but people would always say I'd change my mind...I haven't, I love being childless. One of the annoying questions I used to get was "but you'd have beautiful babies." 🤷♀️ As I recall, it takes two people to make a baby. Look at the kids of ugly rich men with beautiful wives...😬
Omg I hear myself talking. I am 36 now and knew like forever that I wouldn't want to be a mum. Tomorrow I have my hospital appointment for a steralisation. Maybe I should post that on social media like others post their pregnancy. For me this decision is like giving birth to ultimate freedom. Never ever having the anxiety of being or getting pregnant for me is the greatest gift.
You are a boss ass lady and it's brilliant. I shaved my head after watching a video of yours. This video is articulating a bunch of stuff that I have thought to myself for ages. Been told so may times when I say I don't think I want kids 'oh you'll change your mind when you get older'. Yes I might but also if I don't its perfectly valid!
I have never met anyone who thinks and feels so similar to me. Your videos really help me feel not alone. Feeling this way is not the “norm” in our society. It can be overwhelming sometimes.
Im very blessed that i have a supportive family. I have always known that i want to be a mom and i have 5 kids. My sister has always known she doesn't want to have kids. Our family has always been supportive of both decisions and it frustrates me that other people are judged for making a very personal decision
I do also feel like a child would ruin my life right now, but I'm also just 20 years old and I feel like I have a lot of life left to live, which is why I think that I actually will change my mind eventually (even though I would never suppose that of other people). I've also never been in a serious relationship before and I feel like that - for me, again, not supposing other people will - if it's the right person, then I will want to have a child with them.
Love ur channel. I didnt change my mind i have 1 child and got my tubes and my ovaries out so yes i made the choice to just have 1. And i get people telling me he needs a sibling and a play mate No He doesnt
Yeah it’s called all the other kids at school and the neighborhood.. People love to pretend like a only child cannot function alone I’m an only and .. well look at that I survived.
Deborah Clarke I love that! I’m the same. As being an only child I like being alone. We get to avoid the sibling codependency we never had the ability to learn.
I was told multiple Times that i must be biologically Broken or that i am in some way sick caus i must be missing hormones because i dont like kids dont want them and dont have the urge so say aaaaawew so cuteeeee when i see a newborn potatoe. my love is with the animals, sorry. Why is it so hard to accept other views on the world. Urgh
Actually you probably are not producing these hormones others produce when interacting with little ones, that's what makes them feel the way they feel, hormones And you probably simply don't, that's why you don't feel that motherly instinct So actually it is biological to an extent
When I was around 20-22 I really wanted to have kids. I turn 30 this year and for some time I do not ever want to have kids and I am glad I was responsible at 22 and decided it would be too early (uni, career ambitions and so on). Yes, people change their minds. I did too, but not in the way people asume.
I’ve always, known I would be child free. I got pressured and bullied until I went into menopause at 35. I was so thankful I could give a medical reason to back up what was my personal choice forever. I never wanted to poison a future person with my genetic nightmares. I’ve never regretted it. When I met the man I have now been with for 31 years, I told him if he wanted kids, he should just leave our relationship. As he was 18,and I was 23, I was then made to feel guilty for ‘taking his,choice away’ by my choosing not to have kids. Bottom line - humans have a single body and should be the only one making choices for it. PERIOD. End of story. I live in the USA which has the horrible historic colonizer history of Puritanism. They used to put to death anyone who did not believe in Puritanism. Especially the native peoples, but it extended to Quakers who were the next wave colonizers of the USA. Women are not equal humans here. That nightmare is showing in the reversal of all female protections to reproductions choices state after state. It is causing nightmares for Trans people, Native people and people of all colors and religions. Sperm, fetuses and babies are valued, adult females are not - especially after childbearing or sexually desired age is passed. Native women have been kidnapped and missing and nothing has been done about it for DECADES- sex trafficking and child trafficking is huge business. What you have said about Adoption and Surrogacy hit a real bell for me I had not thought about in this context of USA and human valuation. The USA has concentration camps for migrant people, and all of the children, women and most of the men in these camps have been violated and abused. Corporations have more rights than children do. We in the USA need to fix our environmental impact and civil rights in this country as soon as possible. We have been going frighteningly backwards rather than forwards. I am envious that in your country you even have safe places to discuss being child free by choice.
I’m 30 years old, married for 4 years and I have always wanted to be a mother. I have asked my husband a few times if he would still like to pursue having children someday. I ask because his job takes him away several days out the week. His answer is yes, but that he wants more time to figure out us and our home, etc. I’ve found that I am more patient waiting to have children then I thought I would be. And now after reading comments on this discussion I have gained deep peace in waiting. I’m not in a hurry and if we don’t pursue it at all, I’m ok with that too. So beautiful to see so many women embracing their freedom of choice! 💕
I’d rather regret not having children and suffer by myself than to regret having them and making them suffer with me Edit; now you said the same thing 😁
It’s so nice watching this video and reading the comments. I’ve always felt that having kids would literally be giving up my entire life, interests, desires etc. for someone else - and the only way I could justify this to other people was saying “maybe I’m just too selfish.” But it’s NOT selfish to not want kids and to have my OWN life. It’s a choice that is valid. I’m just glad there are other people that feel the same way I do. I’m recently engaged and both sets of parents ask and insinuate all the time about me having kids, my best friends are having kids and won’t stop talking about the days our kids can play together and I don’t want to have kids just because I feel like it was expected of me. I don’t want to even take the chance of feeling that kind of regret. It’s not that I hate kids, I love my best friends’ child. I just have a hard time imagining having my own in the future. Anyway I don’t even know what I’m saying the point is I’m glad I’m not the only one
I've known I dont want kids since I was 17. It sounds horrible to say but my little brothers have completely put me off having kids, they're really well behaved kids I just hate the responsibility of nurturing small humans, it's really stressful. Since I've been home stuck with mental health problems since finishing highschool(16 years old, i'm now 23, 24 in May) i've basically been stuck as my little brothers' step-dad since our mum and their dad work full time. So I've had my fill of parenting for a lifetime. I also dont see the point in having kids since we're a few decades away from starting to make the planet uninhabitable for humans.
Also, my sister has been in a pretty serious relationship for a few years and i'm dreading the day she has a kid because I just know that since they also work full-time and I have nothing going on, ever, that i'll be asked to babysit and i'll be made the bad guy for saying no. I cant wait...
The Phoenix Yeah the problem we’re causing with Earth is why I don’t want children. People are making this planet go downhill, adding another child will also add to that tbh
Soo glad to see I'm not alone with the decision of not having kids 😭 I'm even good with the idea of a sterilisation, so i don't have to worry about gtting pregnant by accident; because nothing is 100% secure. My family didn't accept my bisexuality or my choise if beeing childfree, they always compared me to my married sister and her daughter. You have found the most fitting words to describe everything about that. Thank you 💜
With every child I meet, I stand more firm in my not wanting children 😂. I love being an aunt and god mom, but I do not feel the need to ever have a child around me 24/7 that needs me 24/7. I like being needed occasionally I guess but I LOVE my time alone and just doing what I want with that time.
I have one baby and I love her with all my heart. I’m not really wanting a second. I enjoy putting all my time and energy into her while still making time for the things I love. I really don’t think I would be able to do that with a second kid and it can be really frustrating to have people tell me that I should have a second kid. I need to have a second kid. It’s better for her if I have another one. She will be so lonely. It’s not their choice it’s mine and it’s frustrating that they ask and then don’t actually listen to my reasons why. I totally understand not wanting to have a kid. I have some friends who don’t want kids and guess what, they are amazing aunties! Do what’s right for your life always.
It’s not really a topic I want to dive into in a video but I recommend this page for a lot of education and info: facebook.com/changingtheadoptionnarrative/
I am also childfree (I ALWAYS knew I don't want children, I even said that to my parents around 12 years old). I am married for 4 years now (I'm 30 years old), and very happy about my decision.
I haven't seriously thought about having or not having children. I think I have always wanted a family but I've not had luck with having a partner I feel comfortable having kids with. I'm 31 now and have a steady relationship that hopefully will last a long time if not till my end. Now I'm just puzzled what do I actually want from life. I struggle with depression and anxiety and even if I would want kids I don't want to make a baby just for the sake of it. I believe if you have kids you should be able to provide safe environment for them to grow up in. This is starting to sound like a kind of pointless ramble... So that being said time will tell what happens. I wouldnt want to be much older to have kids but right now I have to focus on sorting out my life before I can take responsibility of another human. Totally respect your choice.
You have become so much more mature since i have started watching your videos! And, as a person who is also child free by choice, you are so so so right in every answer you give. I admire you even more, well done!
Women are not solely baby makers! In which case it shouldn’t be a shocker if we don’t want them! And I’m saying this as a pregnant woman. It’s sad we have to beg for body autonomy. God damn. OUR BODY OUR CHOICE.
Risk of growing old alone is not enough for me to have a child. I'd rather spend my last 20 years lonely, than spend 20 years of my youth raising a child.
Every time someone says "you'll come around" "you'll change your mind" "but you need to have kids, you gonna be lonely in the future" "you just saying that cause you 20". I just answer " I would never be so selfish to put a child in this cruel world just because people think I should or need. There's so many kids out there who are desperate for love and a home, so many kids for adoption, and putting another being in the world the way it is its just selfish and meaningless." my mom supports my decision, she wanted to be child free too she was the first to accept my ideas and opinions, we are best friends, love you mom.
Regardless of what anyone thinks about reproduction, disrespect for someone's choice to do/not do something is beyond me. I think the most important thing is, where it is appropriate (with people you have a good relationship with), open communication and asking questions to understand instead of condemning. Not being defensive or rude on either side. Being okay having the conversation, and also being okay with someone saying "I prefer not to discuss this."
I think you really touched on what I think about the most when I'm figuring out how to explain that I don't want kids: sometimes I want the experience of having a cute baby in my life and going through the bonding experience it might bring with my partner, but never do I actually want to raise a child. Those desires-- knowing sweet babies, getting closer to my partner-- are ones that can be met in so many other ways that do not involve creating the foundation of another person's life or having to give up a lot of mine. I would regret having children just for the sake of meeting those small desires when there is so much more than comes with it. It seems like so many people have children because they want something out of it, rather than because they want to invest in raising a good human being. Unless I become willing to put in that work and do it for their sake, I know children are not in my future.
Thank you! You are the only person I know in my life that I can relate to on this topic. You really helped me to organize my thoughts, because i have the same opinion about children as you but I couldn't express it to other people without getting really anxious and angry when they would say that I will change my mind and other staff
I'm 28 and I thought that I should have a child, well, because that's the norm. But after talking with my doctor, like 5 years ago, who said that it would be very hard, because I'm epileptic, I have been thinking.. I'm really not in to being a mom 🤷🏻♀️ children are sweet, yes, but I think I would regret it. So like you said, I will rather regret not having children, than regret having children.
Want to hear the storytime of my first time babysitting... ever? Watch this video: ruclips.net/video/rwmq09OdrWE/видео.html
Katrin Berndt idk why pple say stupid shit ..I’ve had kids young I’m now 43 but everyone makes the choices for themselves.You are beautiful and you have a glow or a light about you .
@@EvilTink1_ She's an elf 😘
U want the attention? TRAVELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... lolol post those photos.
my 1st time babysitting was when i was almost 9 & my days of being an only child ended. this is why i'm happily child free!
@@thechubbypuertorican917 well, at least she's self aware, unlike many narcissists that do have 'em.
"I would rather regret not having children than regret having children" Yas ! Now I know what to answer if I get this question asked, thanks Katrin !
I know right? I have a beautiful niece and nephew. I watched him grow up into a fine man graduating college now and my niece is almost 15. My sisters been married now for about 28 years because they enjoyed their marriage before having children. In my humble opinion anyway they waited 4 years. Same with a friend of mine they waited three years to enjoy themselves and their marriage and they’re going on 19 years married. Just makes me wonder. They were both child free when meeting in college.
EXACTLY!
@Duke of Istria As a Norwegian, Scandinavia will always belong to the Nords not matter how many middle easterners reproduce they will live in our countries by our rules if they didn’t like it they can go back where they came from.
@@patricksaxon3983 no.. It's not
This is what I say:, I rather regret not to have children when I'm old then regret having them my whole life......
I told my mom that I'm childfree by choice, but she kept telling me that she wanted a baby. Then I JOKINGLY said "If you love baby so much, why don't you just get a baby by adoption?" A year later, my mom adopted a baby. The baby and I have age gap like 25+ years old xD
she sounded bored
Hahaha your mom is lovely!
I'm 60. I decided in my early 20s not to have children. Great life, great choice. I have no regrets.
I feel exactly the same. I am often a subject of envy and even hate because of this.
I always had this feeling like I wanted to throw up when I imagined myself raising a baby, just a nasty feeling in my stomach. I still do and I am 53. Lol
@Cody Co Same here. Never wanted kid's. Now almost 60, and lovin life! A lot of people our age are financially bailing out their grown kid's and/or raising grandkid's!
Reminds me of my aunt. She’s currently living it up in Las Vegas, eating great food, hanging out with cool people, traveling wherever and whenever she wants, has freedom like no one else. She also has the money to be generous like no one else, recently gave me her old car since I was having trouble getting my own. Just because you don’t have your own children doesn’t mean you can’t help another life.
I like you
As a man not wanting kids, I get written off as immature and a man-child. It's degrading and pisses me off, sure, but it's not even close to the BS woman in the same position as I am face. I'm happily married and I have a cat (see picture), so, happy life 🙂
I don't have children and never said I didn't want them, I've just never really so far felt a yearning, want or a void. Marriage on the other hand, yes that has always scared the sh#% out of me and has always been a HELL NO! You can't IMAGINE the pure look of disgust I get especially for women and especially conservative Christian women!
My partner always drops hints about wanting kids and I don't. He is a massive man child. Part of the reason I won't have kids with him is because he is immature and needs help from his parents to look after his child with his ex. If anything I'd say you are mature as you find it's the people who have kids unplanned usually put the responsibility of their own child onto other people. Not all the time this happens but in some cases. I wish my partner didn't want any more kids because he is not mature enough to admit that he is not financially and independently ready too. I know for a fact because me and my partner still live at home, there is no way on earth I would have kids. I may add as well how I have been treated like a child because I don't have kids, so people do get the wrong assumption. A relative once said to me 'you mature more when you have kids'. That pissed me off because I've seen so many immature parents around, it just depends on the individual.
it dawned on me when i was 11 i was never marrying or having children. the night my older brother brought home his girlfriend. i stared at them in the VW van and i recall clearly to this day (54) i whispered more to myself than anyone "i'm never getting married... i'm never gonna marry, i'm never gonna marry and i'm never gonna have kids..." clear as a bell to this day (they did).
in my 20's and early thirties people ragged on me for being single and child-free as something shameful. everyone who ever mentioned it asked me to explain myself and I recall telling a boss to fuck off. HR had some sense and told him any more invasive questions and I'd be able to sue.
co-workers tell me "Gotta bun in the oven!" - nauseating euphemism. Beaming at me, standing there expectantly. i stare blankly as if to ask "...and...?" they get pissed off i'm not congratulating them. You want kids, marriage? G'head. Just don't bring it to me and get bent when I don't care.
I wish your cat a merry Christmas
“ I will not have a baby just for attention. I will probably go to therapy instead “ why do u make me die of laughter
Heheh 🤓
Cracked me up too XD
i can't imagine having a baby for attention. It's wayyy too much work and I see too much attention as negative anyway. I have 2 kids but never posted any pics of them.
I'm 56 and happily childfree. I've always known I didn't want kids, despite 40 years of hearing, "it'll be different when you have kids...". I've never had a twinge of regret. I'm so glad you and others are speaking out. Maybe your generation will be the one in which people finally realize that living childfree is a healthy, positive choice for those of us who don't want kids.
I’m 27 and I don’t want children, and don’t ever want to become pregnant. It’s a legit fear of mine! What sucks is that when I tell people this they just say aww you’ll change your mind or they low key wish pregnancy on me to like teach me some kind of fucked up lesson. It’s so screwed up that people would want to force a child to be born when their mother didn’t even want them in the first place, it’s just horrible.
I have constant nightmares about being pregnant and almost wake up in a panic attack😅😅
I've gotten the "well that shows you need to have kids to learn a lesson" response, too! It's so weird that in the same breath they'll call you irresponsible AND say the solution is to be charged with the care of a helpless human being
f*ck society
I just found out today that a fear of pregnancy and childbirth (yes it’s real) is called tokophobia.
EXACTLY.
This is SUCH an interesting topic to me. My whole life I have loved kids and thought I wanted children. Everyone talks about how great it is. Then I had a child and regretted it the first 3 months. I love my child, but I realized loving other people’s children and having your own child is SO different. I was one who didn’t ever realize being child free was a choice. Thanks for sharing your perspective on the topic!
Wow, what a brave soul you are! This is actually an epidemic in the (US) but moms are too afraid to speak up. On a childfree blog it was mentioned to Google "I hate being a mom" you get something ridiculous like 300 million results! A lot of moms expressed being hoodwinked and bamboozled by motherhood and regretted it. They also expressed dark feelings of depression and suicide but were afraid to speak up out of fear of being crucified for it. Suicides have exploded for women especially WW, 60% increase in less than 20yrs! This is being ignored because it's a women's issue and women still don't have enough support.
@@emmabunch-benson7922 That is very profound!
bhmoore182 This is exactly why I work in childcare. I adore kids, but by the end of the day I'm absolutely exhausted and so happy to send them back home to their parents. 😂
I hear you! I have 2 kids, love them with all my heart, but if i could turn back time, i wouldn’t be a mom. I don’t like it, it changed my life, it changed me as a person and i don’t really like who i became and every time i dare to say anything like this out laud it’s like sacrilege!
@@emmabunch-benson7922 Yes! I hate that people assume that if I say I don't want kids I must dislike kids, or that if people realize I like kids they double down on the assumptions that I want kids!
My dad is very quick to anger and when I was growing up, during angry episodes he would frequently tell me that he wished he never had kids. We never had a real discussion about it beyond that, but it was extremely hurtful and has always stuck with me. I don't want children and I never want anyone's children to have to feel the way I felt and still feel.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I've gone through similar things. My parents always said that they would have had way better careers if they didn't have kids (they had 3). I know that they still cared for me but I understand that their lives definitely would have been better if they didn't have so many kids (or any kids at all). I don't take it personally in any way, but I have learned from them and I'm choosing to not have kids ever.
@@emmabunch-benson7922
AGREED! Any parent who makes you feel guilty for simply existing probably shouldnt have had kids. You hold your child accountable for their mistakes and disrespect. What you DON'T do is make them feel guilty because you feel your life is over.
I worked in an old peoples home. Several residents had shrines to children and grandchildren in their rooms but none of their families names were ever in the visitors book. So just because you have kids doesn't mean you won't end up alone and no one visiting. We had a few people with no children, they got a ton of visitors, so many friends! I asked them why and they told me because they didn't have to put their energy into children, they put it into their friendships. So ended up with a lot of strong friendships from all different times in their lives. The people who raised kids had less friends it seemed. Kids tend become the center of your world and everything else gets neglected as you try to keep them alive. They also had more friends because of a stronger social life they had before they got to the home. E.g they had the time to join several clubs thus meeting more people.
My mom worked in a nursing home too! She mentioned similar stuff where some elderly people never had family visit and it was just a way to get rid of them. Pretty sad. Childfree elderly tended to be happier because they never had to wait and hope for family to visit, they're already pretty independent and were never disappointed about their predicament because they're usually the ones who put themselves in a nursing home in the first place lol.
Yes! Culture and society needs to catch up quick! This is a non married adult population (US) and we have a declining birth rate? During your life you will have many different relationships with so many people, related or not. Don't just put all your energy into your spouse and kids, they may not have your back, if they do great. Balance things out so if you have kids or not married or not you've got a network of people who've got your back, namaste.
Wow. That is incredibly sad yet enlightening.
It's common...... They wait for them to die.... Then once they find out they won't inherit anything they have this Pikachu face
This is so true. I worked in a nursing home for 8yrs and i could not believe how people with large families had absolutely nobody visit them. We would only see these supposed families when the person would die. They knew money was coming along through inheritance. On the other hand, there was this 95yr man who never had kids. He used to have a lady visit him every week and she swould buy him every thing he needed for his care. The week he passed away, that woman stayed with us day and night. We even got her an extra bed in hisroom and he died in her presence. She held his hand and comforted him. Come to find out later, she was not even his daughter. She was his bestfriend's daughter!!!!
I love seeing more childfree people in the media! I don't want kids for a large variety of reasons that I could talk about for hours. It's so frustrating to hear people tell me that i'll "regret it later". I can bet money that I've done 10x the research when it comes to childbirth, child rearing, congenital diseases that may occur in early childhood and the environmental damage that having kids does. But I'M the one that's going to regret my decision for not wanting them. I call bullshit.
I'm a 23 year old women with a bachelors in science who plans to get my Masters Degree and I get called childish, immature, and foolish or selfish for not wanting a kid and that "I don't know any better". However, an 18 year old drop out popping out a kid is somehow "amazing" and "heroic" and "brave" and overall celebrated and never really questioned.
How does that make any sense to anyone? Am I the weird one here??
@@emmabunch-benson7922 I think so too! Theres no way a person would still want kids if they knew everything involved when it comes to child rearing lmao. Ignorance is "bliss" I guess?
👌🏾
I think you are the smart one, I’m 28 and I keep hearing a friend on “how hard is to take care of her kid” and that she never have money and ask me for some, and that She is jealous that I’m always traveling and having fun and she has to take care of her kid. Soooo I’m guessing not having kids it’s a good idea, apart that I don’t imagine having to sacrifice my live to take care of another person :S
I get you man it’s rough for people not wanting to be a mom or dad your just selfish in there eyes which you should be with your own life yet there trying to be selfish at your own expense
@Liz He AMEN sista! I cannot agree with you more on EVERYTHING you said! 👌👌👌 I feel the same 1 million percent 💕👍
The morning after my wedding my husbands grandmother said “so when are you getting pregnant?” I said “maybe never” and all the family members around practically gasped. Rude questions get rude answers, I don’t care who it is. Later on people were like why did you say that to grandma?! My worst fear is pregnancy and I can’t even imagine that happening.
Good, that's what you get for poking your nose where it shouldn't be!
@@dinamarieart lol too real and funny lol
It's non of their business anyway
Yeah, but respect the culture too. It takes nothing to swallow your pride for the old lady who grew up in a different time, and answer "maybe later.." my husband loves his grandma, I would never answer so rudely. I know everyone in the comments is saying you were right, but know your audience, and measure the impact of your words.
@@annabelle2760 She hasn't asked again so the impact was exactly what I wanted
My friend is currently pregnant and I'm so excited to be able to help her with the baby and for her to have a child but I'm still sure I never want kids of my own. Super ready to be the cool aunt for the rest of my life
Oh yes, I have it on my bucket list to be the cool aunt to my friends' kids but also remain childfree 😄
You can buy her kid all those nice clothes and toys few times a year.
I've never pictured myself as a mother. I don't think i can take full responsibility of raising another human being and i don't want to.
The way people constantly ask ”so when are you having kids?” etc really bothers me. It’s so stupid. What if having kids is my biggest dream but I can’t have kids? What if I’m trying and have been for years but it’s just really difficult? What if I just don’t want kids and here you are assuming, putting pressure on me and disrespecting my choice by saying I will change my mind. The obsession about other people having kids or not needs to stop.
It's a baby crazy world out there. Super scary
This I had this too. And 5 years ago i had a miscarriage. And never been pregnant again. But also when my sister in law was pregnant i got comments like "when will you start"😠
@@MagicalSam89 ugh, im so sorry :(
@@magdasofie5065 thanks I have peace with it now. I dont have to have children to life a complete life.
I relate so much to your feeling that life ends when you have kids (for you). I've always known I don't want children, but I used to think I HAVE to have them, so there I was at 12 stressing about doing everything I want with my life by 25. Realizing I can be childfree was amazing for me.
I've been hearing "you're too young to know what yu want, you will change your mind" since I'm 20. I'm 32 now and when I talked to my doctor about replacing my coil when it's time, she tried to discourage me because I would start to "run out of time" and pregnancy could be harder/less safe and I'm like o_0 I don't careeeee replace my coil!
Uurrggghhggghghh “run out of time”. Jesus........ 😒😒😒
Yep, a woman's worth is apparently only dependent on whether or not they want to be an incubator. It's pretty gross. Like, people still support it when a 16 year old girl gets pregnant but if a well educated girl in their 20s/30s doesn't ever want to have children, it means that they're just "too immature" to understand. like wtf.
Nancy Pifer Change doctors!
"You're running out of time"
Yes, that is the idea. We keep hoofing this in the baby maker till it stops making babies. That is entirely the point of the device.
I had a similar experience to this. I went to have a coil and the doctor who recognised me from previous visits said 'oh, still not ready for kids yet? '.... Umm yet? I don't want them at all 😂 so rude.
I’m a 45 yr old Mother of 2, saying that, I don’t judge anyone’s decision in life. I respect your decision and I’ll never judge you. I am pro choice. I would respect the decision of my children if either of them decide not to have children of their own. You do you
I'm always confused about the "Do you fear growing old alone?" question cause my only answer is: nope. There's a difference between being alone against your will and making the active decision to be alone. I mean yeah, company is nice and all but I prefer being alone. I can get company elsewhere than with a child or a partner, I rather fear not being alone.
Yeah I agree with that. I guess I just assume it gets depressive when you’re 80 and everyone you know and love has died haha. Might be lonely. But it’s NOT a reason to have kids.
@@Katrinberndt totally get that, it might be scary to a lot of people to "be alone for such a long time" (basically meaning forever) and to maybe not have the choice of company anymore at a certain age. But children aren't toys that solely exist to give you company when you need one just as your partner doesn't exist for that single purpose.
I also find that the choice of not having children is one of your standpoint on education and children's rights. I prefer not to have children because I don't want children to grow up under circumstances where they're not treated as the individuals they are amongst other reasons and that's nothing I can guarantee for them.
@@REGINLEIIF I think a problem is that age 80+ is obviously when your body is deteriorating and it's very hard to do things by yourself. I know a couple that had no children and the wife is also an only child. Her husband now has Alzheimer's and is in hospital and she can't get out very often. I can imagine it must be very lonely for her, and having a close family would mean she would have someone to help her as she grows older. Still doesn't convince me to have children though but I can also imagine growing old alone with no one is sad.
I know more people "alone" with kids. Having kids is NO guarantee of being cared for in old age. In fact, just about every person with adult children (20-40s) are alone with no hope of having the loving family member care. The kids only care about themselves. Sad but true.
I agree. And some people (like my ex) can make you feel so unhappy and unloved, and make your life so miserable, that I am more afraid of spending my life with someone like that then alone.
I'm 20 and NEVER wanted kids. Everytime I tell this to someone they disregard my opinion with the usual responses (you know them). Like did you even listen to my words?
I'm 23 and I get the same response. It's a lack of respect for women in general and treating us like children. So our choices and opinions dont mean anything because we're too "childish" to understand what we're doing. It's extremely disrespectful.
@@lizhe2914 I'm sorry it happens to you to
Im 24 and I get that too. Mostly from older people and people having kids. The worst were my ex (we were both around 20-21 at the time) who said "yeah lets see about that when the time comes" as if i do not have a choice. I do have a choice and that is one of the reasons that he is an ex
@@emmabunch-benson7922 Also it would just waste the time of both partners !
@@emmabunch-benson7922 Yep, I've seen this first hand and it always shocked me another reason why I would never marry it's too hard, I'll date until I die.
With the state the world is in right now I feel like it is actually kinder to not bring a child into this mess (plus there's the fact that we are over-populated).
I absolutely love and when you talk about this topic. At the age of 16 I was obsessed about having a child as soon as possible. Whenever I saw a pregnant woman, a baby or anything related my heart was aching. Now at 25 I know it was for the wrong reasons and when I finally realized that and opened my eyes it's completely the opposite. Whenever I see a child or whatever it increases the fact that I actually don't want a child and most importantly for the good reasons now. Thank you for making these kinds of videos !
I cannot think of anything worse than having kids either 😂🍻🍻🍻
Appreciate that you mentioned that adoption and surrogacy are very problematic and I hope those who are unaware will look into those industries beyond what the lobbyists and companies that profit on it say.
Amen. I didn’t feel comfortable going into too much detail in this video, but they are extremely problematic and it frustrates me when people say “well there’s always adoption or surrogacy if you end up changing your mind”... no
Katrin Berndt yeah I get it, it can be a sensitive subject for a lot of people. Just acknowledging it is plenty imo.
@@Katrinberndt Katrin, could you maybe make a video on that? I get the surrogacy issue, but adoption? Would have never thought there might be a problem. I will definitely look into that, but your insight would be appreciated.
Katrin Berndt I was adopted but I wasn’t bought so for me adoption saved my life & I’m grateful.
L T. I didn’t intend for this to be a discussion thread (and I won’t make it one). I’m glad you had a good experience with the adoption industry, unfortunately that’s not the case for a lot of others.
I've known that I wanted to be childfree since I was nine years old. I'm 24 today and had sterilization surgery three years ago. I feel more sure about my decision every single day.
You’re lucky to be able to get that surgery. In some countries women’s body doesn’t belong to them 😒 Fear of any unplanned pregnancy scares the hell out of me.
I didn’t want kids for so long, then there were a few short years that I did want kids. I’m 35 now and I’m happy I didn’t have kids. I was forced to babysit my siblings when I was younger and it really ruined my childhood. I’ve recently found out I have PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome), basically abnormal mensural cycles that make it super hard to get pregnant, but I’m ok with that. So now I just feel that if I get pregnant then I get pregnant. And if I don’t then I’m fine with that too! My husband and I like to travel and sleep in, so we really love being able to do whatever we want, when we want. Maybe that’s selfish, but I’d rather be selfish and know it then have kids and have that affect the child’s life.
Not selfish at all! In fact, I would argue that having children is a selfish act. It's a way for people to deal with their existentialism. Some people have kids cause they're bored or use them as retirement plans. All pretty selfish.
I've discussed with people that having kids in this day and age is actually sort of unethical considering the amount of environmental damage that a human inflicts in their lifetime. So choosing to have kids now, when we're wildly over populated is pretty selfish in my opinion. However, I've gotten the response "if anyone deserves to have kids, I think it's me" from numerous amounts of people. Sounds pretty egotistical and selfish to me lol.
If that's selfish then eating is selfish and that word has no meaning
Ever since I was little I didn't like children, its always been there and its still there. I enjoy my freedom and that's that
Never even thought of being jealous of the 9 month attention while pregnant. Never was with a man that was interested in kinds. And finally this decision was totally taken away from me at 26 with hysterectomy. I was adopted and it did not work out well. Adoptive mother was furious when I HAD to have a hysterectomy so young. Never forgave me. Like I had a choice in the decision.
You've been through a lot, sending love to you
@@sinlobo84 Thank you. I do not really look at it that way it is just life . So many have it much worst. I never was sorry I never had kids though. Even at 70 and totally alone. I LOVE life. My house plants animals yard. Not in this order. Happy to wake up each morning to see what kind of hell I can raise. Today I hope to finally finish putting back together a love seat I bought in a hurry one time when company was coming and could not find what I wanted. Always hated it. The arms were big fat ugly. So I peeled back the fabric cut down the wood part of the arms. Rebuilt where needed with pieces I took off. Painted what I needed to. Later will mosaic maybe. And finally will get the love seat back into place and reclaim my living room dining room space. OMG I have made a mess in here even using drop cloths. So proud of myself I have finally done this and now love seat is 6 inches shorter all because of the fat arms are gone. Nice modernish looking ones now. Thanks so much for your comment. You are very kind.
@El Hoffman Oh I did just that the day after I graduated high school I left home never to return with out a protection person with me. See she was mostly covert narcissist so in front of another butter would not melt in her mouth. Thankfully later in my life my then hubby read her like a book. She did come to visit us once in our humble little log cabin in the mountains on the river we built just the two of us a one of hubbies friends. She died in 2002 and the rest of the adoptive family got all her money. But I came out so far ahead as I earned the money I have now. Even though I cried poor mouth to her I was building a nest egg that now is supporting me well. Live is good. Last man/woman standing wins.
I love your honesty. in two months I will be 37 years old and for the last 25 years of my life i know that I dont want to have kids. every time when I say that I dont want to marry and have children, people don't believe me. .. they look at me like i've fallen from Mars ... or laugh politely and say " OOoooo... but you don't really mean that.. hahahhaha..." but.. YES I DO!!! I have lots of nieces and nephews and all are dear to my heart... but I prefer cats. :D
Haha people can be so ridiculous!!
You are like me. Only I am 30 years old woman. 😎
Childfree by choice 33 yr old over here - been with my boyfriend 11 years. 💚💚💚 I want to thank the women that selflessly choose not to reproduce for the sake of the environment 🙌
I've known for a long time that I didn't ever want to have kids (I'm 26), but I've never really met anyone in real life who felt the same way that I do. I've been listening to the Barnfrihet podcast since you mentioned being on one of the episodes and it's been so nice to hear about the experiences and perspectives from other childfree people (especially ones that are from a similar culture). I'm Danish though so I don't always understand 100 % of it, but still enough that I can follow along lol.
I just wanted to thank you for talking about this topic, I feel like it doesn't get talked about nearly enough.
i really agree with what you said. just wanted to point out since you mentioned having kids for 18 or more years. if you're a parent, you're a parent forever (unless some accident happens with your child). you may only be required to take care of a child for 18 years, but you will take care of them in one way or another for much much longer
My boyfriend (of 6 years) and I are also child free by choice. We have 3 pets going on 4 and that’s all we need. I just don’t have that motherly instinct towards humans and animals equally give me that satisfaction and I’m okay with that.
This is so incredibly helpful to hear. Everything you’ve expressed is what I feel but can’t sort out in my head. I’m 31 and have never felt a maternal desire my whole life. Now that everyone is having kids, i feel like i keep getting asked when my turn is and it almost had me questioning it whether i should do it just to not get left behind. This was super helpful!
I'm currently 25 right now and currently struggling with moderate to severe depression and anxiety and I do know that parenting is not for me. The mental part of it though is just accepting it and that I was given a gift of Djing and producing music as my way to calm myself down and just being around other people. I'm truly thankful to be doing this in my life and to be honest I cannot complain. Its my way of staying happy, peaceful, and more spiritual.😊😊🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you so much for your video. I'm about to be 30 and I made my decision when I was 13. Since I'm from latin América I felt regected my all life by my family, either making fun of it or making unnecesary coments. This has cost me lossing "the love of my life", my relationship with my father and so on. And non of those actions has made me changing my decision. I'm so glad everyone around you Is so ok with it, its a matter of time for us as women can get to the point, where we don't have to explain and defend our decisions so much.
I'm 58 years old and knew from middle school that I never wanted kids. My middle school teacher did a talk on exponential population growth - this was waaaay back in the 70's - when most of you weren't even a twinkle in your parents' eyes! Anyway, he explained that even having "only" 2 children (assuming a very low death rate) contributes to exponential growth. I also was never a huge fan of kids (don't hate them - just don't dig them) - and definitely not a fan of babies. I'm shocked that so many didn't even realize you don't HAVE to have children! Yeesh. I guess I'm super lucky that both of my parents never put ANY pressure on me to have kids - and we were all of like minds that there are too many people on this earth. Thank you, Katrin for talking on this subject! 💞
Life is beautiful & fulfilling with AND without kids 💓
As long as you choose what’s right for you, yes!
Life is actually full of suffering. Too many people forget about that, because they are not going through it right now, they will probably feel it only when they become very old and very ill. But I had depression since I was 14, so I know it already...
That is also why it is people who decide to have kids should think twice, because how can you predict what their life will be like? What if they have mental illness and suffer a lot? People, who do not have kids do not put anyone else in danger, but when someone decides to have a child, they should consider risks for the child
Correction, life is beautiful and fulfilling without kids.
@@brettvukovich6220 to many it's ultimately fulfilled with kids
Hello,
I came across to your video just awhile ago. “I don’t give a nothing about what people think “ Loved it 😊 ❤️💐
I believe people will always have their opinion. Life is how you make it. At the end of the day I am responsible for myself, unlike being codependent with../dependent on, someone else.
I’m child free by choice. I knew as a teenager that I didn’t want children. I’m almost 55 years old. I had a uncle and aunt who chose to be child free so I had an example. People ask if I miss having kids, the answer is still no. Being child free isn’t about being selfish, my husband and I feel it is a blessing.
I worked @ a "rich ppl's" school for 2y (still have nightmares about the place, and my connection with them ended in 2016, just so you know), where parents talked openly about having their children to "save their marriages", which is completely empathy-free, mindblowing, selfish and disgusting to me. This is what cemented my undesire for having a child. A child isn't an object to save anything, it's a human being, and bringing it to this world with the sole purpose to "save" anything is not only wrong, but dumb and it will cause life-long problems to said child.
Another point I want to make is that even if some of us who are child-free today regret our decisions later, there is always adoption, and I think is a more humane decision than putting yet another person in this planet. So, probably not gonna get someone growing in my body (which is gross).
Edit: about parents' expectations, I'm currently in a relationship with someone who's parents are very conservative and didn't even let us sleep in the same room while visiting them; recently, we went on a family trip together and they reserved us a room to spend the nights together. I told bf that this is their way of saying "we want grandkids"; little do they know...
Edit #2: about governmet support of poor/miserable families, I'm brazilian and I have some close friends who needed (and got it, thanks to the "lefty" government we had a few years ago) support and help to eat and attend school properly, without worrying too much about their finances, and those are the ones who educated me to the need that people have; it turns out that living in a mostly catholic/evangelical society that preaches "multiplying" is needed that the gov. provides such help, bc marginalized groups get screwed over very easily. So, even though is not ideal that this kind of help be needed, it is the reality of those people.
LOL I just had a difficult day and the whole "heaven" joke just made me laugh so hard I don't know why. Thanks though!!
I’m so grateful for your honesty about being child free by choice - I am pretty much 100% sure I don’t want kids and I know that’s a perfectly valid wish, yet I still find myself feeling guilty and somewhat ashamed of it. Your unapologetic discussions are so refreshing and reassuring, as well as being able to see so many comments I can relate to ❤️
I love how you stand for your individuality and freedom
Rewatching this vidéo and can’t believe I missed a fucking gem “ yeah getting hit by a car wouldn’t be very nice. I would rather not” 😂😂😂
Youve been a childfree influence in my life before i knew what childfree means or if it was even an option. Thank you for educating other people about the free of choosing to be or not to be a parent !
I'm on the other side of the road. Always wanted children and still do. Just found out a week ago that I need to have a hysterectomy done soon. I now try to cope with this big life changing news by looking into why people decide not to have kids to get all the perspectives in. Thank you for you talking about it so openly, really helps!
You are so mature, I am impressed. What you are saying is just so right and it is so great to hear it. I’m 37 and child free by choice and it is not always easy to explain to friends and family... my husband and I laughed so much when watching the video of you and your niece. Amazing! Thanks for that! 😊 And you are gorgeous by the way, love your hair!
As someone with 3 kids I did find this video interesting to watch. It's good to understand others perspectives
you have literally read my mind with every word you spoke ! I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I've always felt that my life would end and I would have no purpose If I had kids. Thank you ! ! !
I just have to say the new frequent uploads are giving me life! I always enjoy watching your videos and I love hearing your thoughts on being child-free as it's something I can relate to. I think you word things very well! :)
That’s great to hear! 😃😃 Thank you! 🙏🏻
You can't truly regret not having children because you have no idea how the child(ren) will turn out. Now you can certainly regret having children.
I love this videos!! Im child free by choice too and i feel the same way about so many things, im so glad im not the only one that doesn’t think it’s disrespectful to say im gonna change my mind and im an idiot
Yes omg what a great point! It will bring more hurt to have a child and regret it. Than regret not having one.
I've always known I didn't want kids, and finally at age 30 people have stopped telling me I'll change my mind
Also I may just be a huge loner/introvert but getting super old/dying alone sounds great please >.< Don't want anyone around for that - maybe a dog/cat
I pray I meet someone like you. I couldn’t agree more with everything you spoke about. I’m 35 and single because apparently in New Jersey there are no women that want to be child free. I lost 2 long-term relationships with because they swore they could get me to change my mind. Last one told me “have fun being alone forever”. What’s wrong people
It's so nice to hear all these thoughts. My mother was vehemently against my choice not to have kids for a long time, and it was hard to deal with sometimes. I'm glad I've finally found people who feel the same way I do.
I absolutely love your hair in this video, it lookes great. And the blue in your tattoo is popping really beautifully as well
Gurl you rock... not only your tattoo video's but just putting out this topic. I am not childfree by choice.. but i know some people who are childfree by choice. I have a lot of people ask me when I GET kids or if i get kids. But it isnt even a choice and people are so rude on this subject like we need to put children into this world..
Have been looking for a lot of child free videos and this one's the best. I liked the part where you said it doesn't matter when you decided to go child free. And appreciate the points you put up here. Great video. Thank you.
It’s my worst nightmare too. I fear getting trapped into pregnancy and marriage.
August 1 Happy International CHILDFREE Day
I just subscribed to your channel, this is the very first video and I just finished watching it like 2 seconds ago! I absolutely love this! I’m 34 and child free and will keep it like that forever! I’m happy with my life!
I knew at a very young age I didn't want babies and I used to say so but people would always say I'd change my mind...I haven't, I love being childless. One of the annoying questions I used to get was "but you'd have beautiful babies." 🤷♀️ As I recall, it takes two people to make a baby. Look at the kids of ugly rich men with beautiful wives...😬
I wonder how pissed people would be to see a parking space labeled as only being for people without children like " child free parking"
Omg I hear myself talking. I am 36 now and knew like forever that I wouldn't want to be a mum. Tomorrow I have my hospital appointment for a steralisation. Maybe I should post that on social media like others post their pregnancy. For me this decision is like giving birth to ultimate freedom. Never ever having the anxiety of being or getting pregnant for me is the greatest gift.
You are a boss ass lady and it's brilliant. I shaved my head after watching a video of yours. This video is articulating a bunch of stuff that I have thought to myself for ages. Been told so may times when I say I don't think I want kids 'oh you'll change your mind when you get older'. Yes I might but also if I don't its perfectly valid!
I have never met anyone who thinks and feels so similar to me. Your videos really help me feel not alone. Feeling this way is not the “norm” in our society. It can be overwhelming sometimes.
Im very blessed that i have a supportive family. I have always known that i want to be a mom and i have 5 kids. My sister has always known she doesn't want to have kids. Our family has always been supportive of both decisions and it frustrates me that other people are judged for making a very personal decision
I do also feel like a child would ruin my life right now, but I'm also just 20 years old and I feel like I have a lot of life left to live, which is why I think that I actually will change my mind eventually (even though I would never suppose that of other people). I've also never been in a serious relationship before and I feel like that - for me, again, not supposing other people will - if it's the right person, then I will want to have a child with them.
Love ur channel. I didnt change my mind i have 1 child and got my tubes and my ovaries out so yes i made the choice to just have 1. And i get people telling me he needs a sibling and a play mate No He doesnt
Ugh yeah I know the sibling pressure is crazy as well. So stupid!
Yeah it’s called all the other kids at school and the neighborhood..
People love to pretend like a only child cannot function alone
I’m an only and .. well look at that I survived.
@@Katrinberndt he just laughs now and says no thanks
@@brighteyes962 sure is he is has 3 cousin he hates the noise when they call over
Deborah Clarke I love that! I’m the same. As being an only child I like being alone. We get to avoid the sibling codependency we never had the ability to learn.
I was told multiple Times that i must be biologically Broken or that i am in some way sick caus i must be missing hormones because i dont like kids dont want them and dont have the urge so say aaaaawew so cuteeeee when i see a newborn potatoe. my love is with the animals, sorry. Why is it so hard to accept other views on the world. Urgh
Actually you probably are not producing these hormones others produce when interacting with little ones, that's what makes them feel the way they feel, hormones
And you probably simply don't, that's why you don't feel that motherly instinct
So actually it is biological to an extent
I’m childfree because it’s the best lifestyle and I’m really happy so I don’t care what the jealous people are going to say my life remember
When I was around 20-22 I really wanted to have kids. I turn 30 this year and for some time I do not ever want to have kids and I am glad I was responsible at 22 and decided it would be too early (uni, career ambitions and so on). Yes, people change their minds. I did too, but not in the way people asume.
I enjoyed this video a lot. Also, your makeup is absolutely beautiful!
I’ve always, known I would be child free. I got pressured and bullied until I went into menopause at 35. I was so thankful I could give a medical reason to back up what was my personal choice forever. I never wanted to poison a future person with my genetic nightmares. I’ve never regretted it. When I met the man I have now been with for 31 years, I told him if he wanted kids, he should just leave our relationship. As he was 18,and I was 23, I was then made to feel guilty for ‘taking his,choice away’ by my choosing not to have kids. Bottom line - humans have a single body and should be the only one making choices for it. PERIOD. End of story. I live in the USA which has the horrible historic colonizer history of Puritanism. They used to put to death anyone who did not believe in Puritanism. Especially the native peoples, but it extended to Quakers who were the next wave colonizers of the USA. Women are not equal humans here. That nightmare is showing in the reversal of all female protections to reproductions choices state after state. It is causing nightmares for Trans people, Native people and people of all colors and religions. Sperm, fetuses and babies are valued, adult females are not - especially after childbearing or sexually desired age is passed. Native women have been kidnapped and missing and nothing has been done about it for DECADES- sex trafficking and child trafficking is huge business. What you have said about Adoption and Surrogacy hit a real bell for me I had not thought about in this context of USA and human valuation. The USA has concentration camps for migrant people, and all of the children, women and most of the men in these camps have been violated and abused. Corporations have more rights than children do. We in the USA need to fix our environmental impact and civil rights in this country as soon as possible. We have been going frighteningly backwards rather than forwards. I am envious that in your country you even have safe places to discuss being child free by choice.
I’m 30 years old, married for 4 years and I have always wanted to be a mother. I have asked my husband a few times if he would still like to pursue having children someday. I ask because his job takes him away several days out the week. His answer is yes, but that he wants more time to figure out us and our home, etc.
I’ve found that I am more patient waiting to have children then I thought I would be. And now after reading comments on this discussion I have gained deep peace in waiting. I’m not in a hurry and if we don’t pursue it at all, I’m ok with that too.
So beautiful to see so many women embracing their freedom of choice! 💕
I’d rather regret not having children and suffer by myself than to regret having them and making them suffer with me
Edit; now you said the same thing 😁
It’s so nice watching this video and reading the comments. I’ve always felt that having kids would literally be giving up my entire life, interests, desires etc. for someone else - and the only way I could justify this to other people was saying “maybe I’m just too selfish.” But it’s NOT selfish to not want kids and to have my OWN life. It’s a choice that is valid. I’m just glad there are other people that feel the same way I do. I’m recently engaged and both sets of parents ask and insinuate all the time about me having kids, my best friends are having kids and won’t stop talking about the days our kids can play together and I don’t want to have kids just because I feel like it was expected of me. I don’t want to even take the chance of feeling that kind of regret. It’s not that I hate kids, I love my best friends’ child. I just have a hard time imagining having my own in the future. Anyway I don’t even know what I’m saying the point is I’m glad I’m not the only one
I've known I dont want kids since I was 17. It sounds horrible to say but my little brothers have completely put me off having kids, they're really well behaved kids I just hate the responsibility of nurturing small humans, it's really stressful. Since I've been home stuck with mental health problems since finishing highschool(16 years old, i'm now 23, 24 in May) i've basically been stuck as my little brothers' step-dad since our mum and their dad work full time. So I've had my fill of parenting for a lifetime. I also dont see the point in having kids since we're a few decades away from starting to make the planet uninhabitable for humans.
Also, my sister has been in a pretty serious relationship for a few years and i'm dreading the day she has a kid because I just know that since they also work full-time and I have nothing going on, ever, that i'll be asked to babysit and i'll be made the bad guy for saying no. I cant wait...
The Phoenix Yeah the problem we’re causing with Earth is why I don’t want children. People are making this planet go downhill, adding another child will also add to that tbh
12:53 this hit home. Same age here, same thoughts. I don't think I will ever change my mind.
Soo glad to see I'm not alone with the decision of not having kids 😭 I'm even good with the idea of a sterilisation, so i don't have to worry about gtting pregnant by accident; because nothing is 100% secure.
My family didn't accept my bisexuality or my choise if beeing childfree, they always compared me to my married sister and her daughter.
You have found the most fitting words to describe everything about that. Thank you 💜
With every child I meet, I stand more firm in my not wanting children 😂. I love being an aunt and god mom, but I do not feel the need to ever have a child around me 24/7 that needs me 24/7. I like being needed occasionally I guess but I LOVE my time alone and just doing what I want with that time.
I have one baby and I love her with all my heart. I’m not really wanting a second. I enjoy putting all my time and energy into her while still making time for the things I love. I really don’t think I would be able to do that with a second kid and it can be really frustrating to have people tell me that I should have a second kid. I need to have a second kid. It’s better for her if I have another one. She will be so lonely. It’s not their choice it’s mine and it’s frustrating that they ask and then don’t actually listen to my reasons why. I totally understand not wanting to have a kid. I have some friends who don’t want kids and guess what, they are amazing aunties! Do what’s right for your life always.
I am curious in your view about adoption! You briefly mentioned it and i would be very interrested to learn more
It’s not really a topic I want to dive into in a video but I recommend this page for a lot of education and info: facebook.com/changingtheadoptionnarrative/
@@Katrinberndt I respect that! Thanks! I'll check out the link
I love this so much. Thirty-two and childfree here!
4:30 preach 👏
This is the motto of my life
🙏🏻⭐️♥️
I am also childfree (I ALWAYS knew I don't want children, I even said that to my parents around 12 years old). I am married for 4 years now (I'm 30 years old), and very happy about my decision.
I haven't seriously thought about having or not having children. I think I have always wanted a family but I've not had luck with having a partner I feel comfortable having kids with. I'm 31 now and have a steady relationship that hopefully will last a long time if not till my end. Now I'm just puzzled what do I actually want from life. I struggle with depression and anxiety and even if I would want kids I don't want to make a baby just for the sake of it. I believe if you have kids you should be able to provide safe environment for them to grow up in. This is starting to sound like a kind of pointless ramble... So that being said time will tell what happens. I wouldnt want to be much older to have kids but right now I have to focus on sorting out my life before I can take responsibility of another human. Totally respect your choice.
I think that it is a good thing to give up having children to aim for a higher purpose
I don’t think higher purposes are necessary. 😊 One can give up having kids for any reason!
You have become so much more mature since i have started watching your videos! And, as a person who is also child free by choice, you are so so so right in every answer you give. I admire you even more, well done!
I guess it depends when you started watching but I think it’s a natural evolution when becoming an adult. 😁🙏🏻
Women are not solely baby makers! In which case it shouldn’t be a shocker if we don’t want them! And I’m saying this as a pregnant woman. It’s sad we have to beg for body autonomy. God damn. OUR BODY OUR CHOICE.
Risk of growing old alone is not enough for me to have a child. I'd rather spend my last 20 years lonely, than spend 20 years of my youth raising a child.
Every time someone says "you'll come around" "you'll change your mind" "but you need to have kids, you gonna be lonely in the future" "you just saying that cause you 20". I just answer " I would never be so selfish to put a child in this cruel world just because people think I should or need. There's so many kids out there who are desperate for love and a home, so many kids for adoption, and putting another being in the world the way it is its just selfish and meaningless." my mom supports my decision, she wanted to be child free too she was the first to accept my ideas and opinions, we are best friends, love you mom.
completely off topic BUT I couldn’t stop looking at your amazing ring there 👀💛
Had it custom made for myself with a diamond left to me by my grandmother. ☺️
Katrin Berndt very pretty from what I can see!
Regardless of what anyone thinks about reproduction, disrespect for someone's choice to do/not do something is beyond me. I think the most important thing is, where it is appropriate (with people you have a good relationship with), open communication and asking questions to understand instead of condemning. Not being defensive or rude on either side. Being okay having the conversation, and also being okay with someone saying "I prefer not to discuss this."
I think you really touched on what I think about the most when I'm figuring out how to explain that I don't want kids: sometimes I want the experience of having a cute baby in my life and going through the bonding experience it might bring with my partner, but never do I actually want to raise a child. Those desires-- knowing sweet babies, getting closer to my partner-- are ones that can be met in so many other ways that do not involve creating the foundation of another person's life or having to give up a lot of mine. I would regret having children just for the sake of meeting those small desires when there is so much more than comes with it. It seems like so many people have children because they want something out of it, rather than because they want to invest in raising a good human being. Unless I become willing to put in that work and do it for their sake, I know children are not in my future.
Thank you! You are the only person I know in my life that I can relate to on this topic. You really helped me to organize my thoughts, because i have the same opinion about children as you but I couldn't express it to other people without getting really anxious and angry when they would say that I will change my mind and other staff
I'm 28 and I thought that I should have a child, well, because that's the norm. But after talking with my doctor, like 5 years ago, who said that it would be very hard, because I'm epileptic, I have been thinking.. I'm really not in to being a mom 🤷🏻♀️ children are sweet, yes, but I think I would regret it. So like you said, I will rather regret not having children, than regret having children.