I was so worried 10 minutes in that this would turn into an “Obey your husband, serve his whims, submit to him unconditionally” spiel that I’ve heard too many times in my Christian upbringing. Thank Hashem, you are so much wiser and more intuitive and nuanced in your advice. Bless you so many times over.
I am not Jewish. I grew up in a Protestant church. I no longer attend a church because I don't feel a spiritual connection to it. That said, I utterly love your channel. I always learn something and find your dedication and wisdom inspiring. Thank you!
@@cheshirecatgrin7680 according to Judaism, you are ALLOWED to speak out against a religion that promotes idol worship and leading gods people away from him.
Thank you Rivka, I grew up in a Christian church. I left the church because of all the Pagan practices. My Christian family was very cold and cruel. I love the Torah. Thank you for your wisdom. You have no idea how much your teachings and insight bless me. You have truly been a light to my world. May the Father always bless you and may you be a light to the nations. The world needs you.
@David Spaf how did you find out? I'm wondering if i am or partially because of how much the Christian churches scared me as a kid and I cringed when I became a teen and now as an older man, Torah grabbed me within a few videos. I couldn't seem to watch enough of the 2 hour lectures. Now I'm almost 2 years watching the lectures on Torah, zohar etc. The way it gotu attention, I'm wondering if there's so sort of Jewishness about me "somewhere".
I'm not Jewish and I come from a place where there is no Jewish communities at all. But somehow I found your channel and I think what you are doing and words you are saying are incredibly important for all the women to know. Thank you.
That was SO SWEET for your brother to share so earnestly about men needing the support of their wives. I am truly touched and inspired to give my husband some extra encouragement today ❤️
I was really depressed and am on disability from it but I'm doing much better since I'm studying and discoverd I'm a Jewish man and have family I never knew. I'm trying to overcome the anxiety and depression and with the help of my people I will heal and begin to live a safe and prosperous life with my wife of 25 years this month.
As a Christian your teachiing on this point "men" is excellant. Points that a woman has power to make or break her man, Wow that alone is priceless. I have told several friends about your chanel. Because this teaching is one that every women can gain from. It would strengthen any relationship. Women do not want to be lead today. They think that they have it all and therefore they are the ones who should lead. Wrong, wrong, wrong. As you said , it will undermine a man's self assurance. Some call it ego, but I think it is more than ego. it is part of their core. just my thoughts.
I so identify with the truths you spoke about. It was difficult to hear some of what you spoke of as I was guilty of all the insecurity and everything you spoke of in the early years of my marriage. I just didn't appreciate what my poor man was doing right. I was lucky enough to be gently put right by my most favourite aunt. It took me a little time and a huge amount of work on myself to become constantly mindful and positive towards my husband. However it really was worth it and it turned my marriage around. So here I am at 64 years with a marriage of 46 years still married to my best friend and still biting my tongue sometimes and thinking first before I open my mouth but truly happy now.
In the end, both men and women are sensitive and can have their feelings hurt. I agree with most everything you said and although our lives are very different, your wisdom is universal and valid for all women regardless of faith or background.
I think it takes both a man and a woman to find their very own healthy balance in the relationship that works for them. I'm saying this as a girl with a strong assertive personality in leading position at the university, passionate about self-actualization. My boyfriend is my perfect opposite in this respect. He's one of the most caring people I know. He loves children and is great with them. He's much less ambitious than me, but has many fields in which he's better than me (even in traditionally feminine fields - please note that I'm not a traditional person). To make matters more interesting, I'm 2 years ahead of him in the same university, studying in the same course. He can really use my advice and experience and asks for it, too. However, it's REALLY hard not to cross the thin line between being the advisor and the step-mom I wouldn't like to become. Unhealthy behavioural patterns work in both of us and it takes a great amount of communication, self-examination and consciousness to make us thrive. We both need to grow, improve and give each other space and acceptance. We're really young and it's a hard job; I think we will be working on this our whole life. The only thing that has worked for us is learning from each other, searching for healthy role models and finding that balance I've mentioned before. Thank you so much for your video. I've already signed up for Chana's programme. Have a beautiful Shabbos! Love, Dóra
This is so on point my wife was awesome support but we had to take my mother in when she became unable to take care of herself. At that point my life changed and the stress and effects of trying to take care of my mom who did not protect me as a child and allowed abuse to go on. We tried but I was so depressed and tried to harm myself a few times. B,H he kept me safe and I am here to help others heal from negitive past experience. Working hard to recover and feeling I'mpowered by Torah and Hashem.
It's a big mitzvot to care for your mother and even more since she did wrong by you and you continued to do the right thing. You can do the best you can with what you have. They will learn to like and appreciate what you do for them, or they can do it themselves and take the stress with them. I know it sounds cold, but you also have to look out for yourself. How can you help anyone when you're down as well?
Thank you so much for this wisdom. I am currently working on repairing myself so I can help repair my broken relationship with my husband. He has currently separated his self from me. I am truly hurting listening to you because I did not know how big of a part I drove him away.
I just want to thank you so much for this video. Every word you said spoke to my neshama. Such hashgacha that you said this exactly this way. May HaShem bless you with shefa zechuyos to help all of klal Yisrael!
wow! this is packed with such awesome teachings, such Torah insight to being a wonderfully wife to our wonderful husbands. A chest full of golden treasures. Thank you!!
I am not Jewish but I will say that this video spoke to me. My partner and I have very traditional views and values. For the first time in my life, I've been allowed to be the woman I've always wanted to be and have the strong, male partner I've always prayed for. I cheer him on in everything and he comforts me and makes me feel safe and cared for. We both work (I work from our home), and truly have built a beautiful partnership. Our faith is at the top of our focus in our home and we try to instill the same morals and values in our five children. Thank you for validating that a woman can be strong in letting her husband be the head and leader that he is meant to be. There is no weakness in that and it's saddening to me that this tradition is being so frowned up nowadays. By the way, I'm 32 and he is 33 and we have been called "conservative, old school, and traditional". I fail to see the negatives in any of that! Love your videos! Blessings to you and your family!
If a woman humbles herself and builds her man up, the marriage will be blessed by the Most High. That woman will be the happiest woman on earth. Guaranteed.
To all the wonderful men! Just remember, it is not the end result but the journey that counts. Your worth can not be measured by dollars. You are priceless!
I am really amazed with the accuracy of your comments. I thought it was only me who had this difficulty in communicating my husband, but it seems that somehow men in general are rather feeble-or we make them feel like that. I keep all this in mind. It's not easy. It's easier to blame the other for not being enough. It's not easy either to forget and overcome past mistakes. However, there is no other way to nourish the marriage. Thanks so much for this beautiful video.
Thank you for sharing lots of sound, godly wisdom. N.E.T. is a real struggle...lol. One thing that helps me overcome is getting my validation from the LORD. Coming to Him for the love and validation I need because my husband is an imperfect person like the rest of us. I am a believer in Christ and what He's done for me gives me my worth. That helps me through seasons of drought when I may not be receiving love the way I hope or expect it.
What a great show, thank you. I see this in our society today. So true....God made us perfect, so stop trying to be something your not. Be proud and thankful the,wonderful gifts God has given you. It doesn't make you less, it makes you more.
You are a blessing to the women in your community and to the ones that seek to join your community. Keep up the GREAT work. I am looking and found your channel.
Wow thank you so much for this. I am also not Jewish however your words couldn't speak more of the truth. Thank you for your guidance and inspiration. I think that following your words of advice will help my marriage tremendously and lead to both myself and my husband being so much happier.
My great great grandmother was left in Panama with all of her children by my great great grandfather. She earned her own place there and got enough money to take her children back to the states.
I've watched this video several times and I always get something more from it. It has helped me a lot in my marriage and the way I see my husband. Thank you and a big hig to you :)
To be with my husband, I moved 8000km (countries and continents). I quit my job, sold my car, sold my belongings and now I'm learning a new language and I will have to re-do my formal education here once I have achieved the appropriate language level. Because of the language barrier, I can't find employment. My husband has become our sole provider and we didn't know it would be this way before I moved, I wanted to work and my husband supported that. I go to school, I plan meals, I cook, I pack his lunches, I launder his clothes and I've never been happier. Friends and family view our relationship as very 1950's and anti feminist. I view what I do for him as an act of love and service, a way of caring for him and contributing to our life and home together (as I can't contribute financially for now). It's not so much about gender roles as it is about caring for each other and our marriage more than caring what others think. If he had of moved to my country, I would have had to support him until he was established. I believe marriage is for giving. If you don't want to work together and do what needs to be done (whether it's working outside the home or within) then you are not ready for marriage.
Thank you for the wise words and guidance. I am still learning how to be an effective wife and mother and feminist in this world, and it is very difficult to navigate -- especially when one does not have any religious friends or friends who value our tradition as I do. Thank you for being a mentor to me.
Hi Rivka, discovered your channel today and absolutely love it. You are such an inspiration. This message about men (and women) is so timely and true. Thank you
The books by Rab Shalom Arush :Garden of Wisdom ( for women only ) and garden of Peace ( for men only) is the perfect guide to put in place a plan to understand each other. After reading the Garden of Peace, I understood what I did wrong in my marriage that ended in divorce.
This is so awesome! Great add having your brothers input!! I'm so glad I found you! I live with my partner without much support around me and hearing this reminder of my journey gives me strength. You are a good friend even though I don't know you but I truly admire your courage.
Such wise words from you! You have great wisdom and understanding of how men are being dehumanized by modern society and today's liberized female wives, mothers, daughters, neighbors, and even friends. May G d bless and prosper your ministry! I am a widow, now, and I made so many mistakes in the past! I have had many years to repent.
This is so great; you are so right! I have been saying this for the longest time and I am so glad that you are bringing this into the open, for all women to hear. Specially about the control thing.
Hi! My fiance and I just watched this video. We loved what you said so much. We are so grateful for any role models and mentoring in the roles of husband and wife. Could you share your lecture on strong women and gentle men with us?
This transcends religion. Millions (not thousands) of women face these issues in their relationships whereupon they have looked for leadership from their husbands and the husband has failed their expectations (sometimes without even consulting his wife in many of his decisions) a countless number of times. It is in the woman's nature, as the one who raises the children, to assert control (not to be confused with dominance) to ensure that her and her children's needs are being met. That is the dichotomy of the roles (religiously) between men and women - that the expectation of provider and head of the household - is placed upon the husband whilst the wife is the homemaker. The norm of society is surpassing these traditional roles, stressing equality in the role of raising the family and working as a team, and it is often times very confusing to know how to manage your relationship - from which perspective that is more productive or satisfying. Women do have a lot of control - we are the backbone of society - and knowing how to maintain that balance is not easy. It is good advice for women to trust in The Almighty first and then her husband but it is not easy especially in difficult relationships and where the husband has disappointed his wife or has made her to feel useless or inferior (it can go in two directions). I do agree that women have to create their own happiness and self-fulfillment; that is good advise. I hope you have more of these topics in the future. Thank you.
As a Traditionalist Catholic where I do have conflicting feelings about Judaism, Zionism, and the cultural and religious aspects of the Jewish religion, I love this channel. I love seeing how much we have in common. I have especially so much respect for your ability to be empowered in femininity. I wish the women at Mass would embrace the full headscarf rather than the thin veil. You embody the traditional moral values as well that the Lord GOD (Adonai Elohim) commands. I know that YHVH is giving you Wisdom.
I am a new subscriber to your channel Rivka. I am so glad because you give the best advice and solid down to earth reasoning. May God bless you and your family. You are a beautiful gift. I will, of course, continue to follow you.
Excellant information. Not being negative at all. Makeing a point. Good to hear and to face facts. Information shared here is new to me in so many ways. The depth of your teaching is enlighting to the eyes, unstopping my ears and touching my hard heart as it relates to my husband. How you came to this understanding I would love to know. I could have used it many many years ago. TY.
What was the book for men called? I am desperate that our children be more prepared for marriage than we were. Thank you and please keep the videos coming!
I grew up with a gevurah mother who had me doing "boy's work" (yard work, fixing broken doors, chopping wood) from a young age. It didn't damage me, in fact it did the opposite - it made me realize I was capable of more than what the gender box ascribed to me. I have never fit into a stereotypical "feminine" role, which is why I question a lot of things Jewish metaphysics says about women. I have never been a "mother" or a passive "receiver"; I have always been an intellectual and a fighter. I'm not someone who willingly agrees to "shut up and let the man do his thing". Even if you disagree with feminism and its goal of dismantling the gender hierarchy, you can't just condescendingly ignore centuries of historical struggle. Even before the 1960s women were fighting against the constrictions placed on them. Even if you believe these movements failed or were mislead, they still happened for a reason.
My wife was beyond the stereotypical "feminine" as well, and I appreciated it, how ever, the catch in this for some women may be finding a balance as to allow the husband to play his own role as well, in away it may turn into "clipping his wings". It may become competitive in some women, pushing men aside in a subconscious affirmation that men are not needed and this causes a doomed reaction in marriage.
Wow 😳 I learnt so much from this thank you. It's helped me see we're I'm going wrong as a wife. I'm not Jewish I would love to be. But if I can learn good things from your faith il take it.
March,,2019 Given my interest in Hasidic life, the insular style of life that is led, I have watched video after video and even found an Israeli film ...The Women's Balcony....That touched on the nuances of being Hasid.....Such a rich Culture and History ! Were I not Catholic, I find myself wanting to embrace some, if not many; parts of what it means to be Hasidic. The spirit of Community and connectiveness is so alive, so strong. And yet, because of what many may say is almost a nonexistence of individuality or independent thinking...One can be shunned, for not ''toeing the Judaic line ''. That once one leaves the community, they are without the means to care for themselves, etc...And, it is THAT very fear; that maintains the community. The fear of being shunned, and missing out on that network that they have relied on, because, they knew nothing else. I'm trying to - and I'm getting there - to understand the whys and hows, of the many restrictions set in place, And, as much as I learn; for an unknown reason, I'm drawn towards a culture that I find warmth.
My question is when Sarah kicked Yismael out of the house...H-Shem said she was right. Also when Rivka said said to trick yitzchak to give Yaakov the blessing instead of Esav, she was right. So there is an aspect of female leadership that is legitimate...how do we utilize this properly?
Thank you ..just came across your videos today ..tough times today many women are lost when it comes to there roll as a wife and men too,,A passage from a famous rabbi always sticks in my mind ..he said the older women should teach the younger women how to love there husbands...these older women obviously loved there husbands and were experienced how to teach the younger..but I remember always thinking I read and learn torah all the time..but thinking about this I knew the world the way it is now so corrupted with tv internet ungodly women and men..there are few equipped women who could fulfill this task teaching the younger women to love there husbands obviously from a emuna prospective we cannot properly know real love without hashem..and many younger women do not have mothers or older women to give them the example they need or direction. I could talk for hours on this its eternal..but keep doing what your doing and reach as many women as you can be an example and pray always shalom/..pray for me too if you remember me ..
yes men in addiction yes amen so true. and if not depressed and many because of problems caused by their immaturity and addictions. yup. and women have to step up in may ways taking in roles of men and women both.
Deedee Neri that's so sad you look like such a young beautiful girl it's definitely too early to give up the right man for you is out there you just haven't met him yet there is nothing more complete for a woman and a man to be married but I don't blame you it's the society that we are living in today it sends out such a negative and defeatist message to our young people so sad I hope my words enter your heart all the best and good luck! Oh and just one more thing you said that you trust God then trust that God has prepared for you a special man just for you when you were born!
Do the men also support the women the same way we are expected to support the men? In my experience, this never happens. and THAT is the real reason for discord in marriage.
a phone addiction would be minor. I think I may be but I don’t have any other form of getting news or enlightenment or even communication with others. I have no family or friends near.
ok you are puting way too much blame on women. Many women have no choice but to step up because their husbands have neglected them or have left them or even have passed away. You have got to realize that women step up because they have to in most cases and they are not to blame for their husbands not being the men God would have them be.
I married a catholic mentally challenging man very late in life when I was 56 and now found the truth of G-d. Do I let him lead,I am afraid to we are very poor on disability and he went to live with his parents because he had a panic attack and lost the family car so he went home to moma and I live in a nursing home waiting for him to save so he can come back and we get a new apartment. It's crazy and we miss each other. We talk every night. Can you give me advise?
Hi Linda! I don't have any advice to you but I do know that God listens to the prayers of a sincere heart and I hope and pray things are better now or very soon. Hugs
Would it be possible to, in addition to using the Hebrew terms and names, use the English terms and names? I lose you because I don’t know Hebrew. Thank you.
Yes, I do my best to do that. I hope that you can follow along. Sometimes I'm so used to the Hebrew that I dont even know the English name that is the translation. Thanks for being here learning with me.
My name is Benyamen Aaron ben Nechama hentcha I need all the prayers I can get I’m in a lot of pain from an accident I can’t walk eat or sleep while your davining slip my name in
Here is my two cents and it will not necessarily be popular in this forum. Don't waste time praying nor asking for prayers. You need to find the right team to help you out and heal yourself. I was on an unloader brace for my right knee for eight months, my knee's cartilage is shot two separate areas and wasted $5K on a stem cell treatment. What got me back is I found an incredible sports medicine doctor who got me in physical therapy and I no longer need the unloader brace and hopefully kicking the can down the road for partial knee surgery for at least 5 years. My back is also not doing well, but I'm in physical therapy again. Because of this, I have to do a dual workout where I first do the strengthening exercises for an hour and then swim for 30 minutes. Also, for swimming it's pretty easy to be tznius by wearing a surfers rash guard and an excellent tool not to use your legs till you build up your strength swimming is getting a bouy. I get my swimming supplies from swimoutlet.com.
I was so worried 10 minutes in that this would turn into an “Obey your husband, serve his whims, submit to him unconditionally” spiel that I’ve heard too many times in my Christian upbringing. Thank Hashem, you are so much wiser and more intuitive and nuanced in your advice. Bless you so many times over.
I am not Jewish. I grew up in a Protestant church. I no longer attend a church because I don't feel a spiritual connection to it. That said, I utterly love your channel. I always learn something and find your dedication and wisdom inspiring. Thank you!
You aren't alone.
I don't think this is the place to demean anyone else's faith.
Cheshirecat Grin is there a proper place to demean another human being ?
@@cheshirecatgrin7680 according to Judaism, you are ALLOWED to speak out against a religion that promotes idol worship and leading gods people away from him.
You can become a Jew!
Thank you Rivka, I grew up in a Christian church. I left the church because of all the Pagan practices. My Christian family was very cold and cruel. I love the Torah. Thank you for your wisdom. You have no idea how much your teachings and insight bless me. You have truly been a light to my world. May the Father always bless you and may you be a light to the nations. The world needs you.
@David Spaf how did you find out? I'm wondering if i am or partially because of how much the Christian churches scared me as a kid and I cringed when I became a teen and now as an older man, Torah grabbed me within a few videos. I couldn't seem to watch enough of the 2 hour lectures. Now I'm almost 2 years watching the lectures on Torah, zohar etc. The way it gotu attention, I'm wondering if there's so sort of Jewishness about me "somewhere".
So sorry, hope you find your way back to a loving church family.
I'm not Jewish and I come from a place where there is no Jewish communities at all. But somehow I found your channel and I think what you are doing and words you are saying are incredibly important for all the women to know. Thank you.
That was SO SWEET for your brother to share so earnestly about men needing the support of their wives. I am truly touched and inspired to give my husband some extra encouragement today ❤️
That needless emotional turmoil is called NOT HAVING CONSIDERATION. Consideration is needed for both in the marriage
I was really depressed and am on disability from it but I'm doing much better since I'm studying and discoverd I'm a Jewish man and have family I never knew. I'm trying to overcome the anxiety and depression and with the help of my people I will heal and begin to live a safe and prosperous life with my wife of 25 years this month.
As a Christian your teachiing on this point "men" is excellant. Points that a woman has power to make or break her man, Wow that alone is priceless. I have told several friends about your chanel. Because this teaching is one that every women can gain from. It would strengthen any relationship. Women do not want to be lead today. They think that they have it all and therefore they are the ones who should lead. Wrong, wrong, wrong. As you said , it will undermine a man's self assurance. Some call it ego, but I think it is more than ego. it is part of their core. just my thoughts.
I so identify with the truths you spoke about. It was difficult to hear some of what you spoke of as I was guilty of all the insecurity and everything you spoke of in the early years of my marriage. I just didn't appreciate what my poor man was doing right. I was lucky enough to be gently put right by my most favourite aunt. It took me a little time and a huge amount of work on myself to become constantly mindful and positive towards my husband. However it really was worth it and it turned my marriage around. So here I am at 64 years with a marriage of 46 years still married to my best friend and still biting my tongue sometimes and thinking first before I open my mouth but truly happy now.
In the end, both men and women are sensitive and can have their feelings hurt. I agree with most everything you said and although our lives are very different, your wisdom is universal and valid for all women regardless of faith or background.
I think it takes both a man and a woman to find their very own healthy balance in the relationship that works for them. I'm saying this as a girl with a strong assertive personality in leading position at the university, passionate about self-actualization. My boyfriend is my perfect opposite in this respect. He's one of the most caring people I know. He loves children and is great with them. He's much less ambitious than me, but has many fields in which he's better than me (even in traditionally feminine fields - please note that I'm not a traditional person). To make matters more interesting, I'm 2 years ahead of him in the same university, studying in the same course. He can really use my advice and experience and asks for it, too. However, it's REALLY hard not to cross the thin line between being the advisor and the step-mom I wouldn't like to become. Unhealthy behavioural patterns work in both of us and it takes a great amount of communication, self-examination and consciousness to make us thrive. We both need to grow, improve and give each other space and acceptance. We're really young and it's a hard job; I think we will be working on this our whole life. The only thing that has worked for us is learning from each other, searching for healthy role models and finding that balance I've mentioned before.
Thank you so much for your video. I've already signed up for Chana's programme.
Have a beautiful Shabbos!
Love,
Dóra
This is so on point my wife was awesome support but we had to take my mother in when she became unable to take care of herself. At that point my life changed and the stress and effects of trying to take care of my mom who did not protect me as a child and allowed abuse to go on. We tried but I was so depressed and tried to harm myself a few times. B,H he kept me safe and I am here to help others heal from negitive past experience. Working hard to recover and feeling I'mpowered by Torah and Hashem.
It's a big mitzvot to care for your mother and even more since she did wrong by you and you continued to do the right thing. You can do the best you can with what you have. They will learn to like and appreciate what you do for them, or they can do it themselves and take the stress with them. I know it sounds cold, but you also have to look out for yourself. How can you help anyone when you're down as well?
Thank you so much for this wisdom. I am currently working on repairing myself so I can help repair my broken relationship with my husband. He has currently separated his self from me. I am truly hurting listening to you because I did not know how big of a part I drove him away.
My Sister - In - law became the man in my brothers marriage, she literally began to look like a man. Her behavior broke the marriage causing divorce.
I just want to thank you so much for this video. Every word you said spoke to my neshama. Such hashgacha that you said this exactly this way. May HaShem bless you with shefa zechuyos to help all of klal Yisrael!
wow! this is packed with such awesome teachings, such Torah insight to being a wonderfully wife to our wonderful husbands. A chest full of golden treasures. Thank you!!
I am not Jewish but I will say that this video spoke to me. My partner and I have very traditional views and values. For the first time in my life, I've been allowed to be the woman I've always wanted to be and have the strong, male partner I've always prayed for. I cheer him on in everything and he comforts me and makes me feel safe and cared for. We both work (I work from our home), and truly have built a beautiful partnership. Our faith is at the top of our focus in our home and we try to instill the same morals and values in our five children. Thank you for validating that a woman can be strong in letting her husband be the head and leader that he is meant to be. There is no weakness in that and it's saddening to me that this tradition is being so frowned up nowadays. By the way, I'm 32 and he is 33 and we have been called "conservative, old school, and traditional". I fail to see the negatives in any of that! Love your videos! Blessings to you and your family!
If a woman humbles herself and builds her man up, the marriage will be blessed by the Most High. That woman will be the happiest woman on earth. Guaranteed.
To all the wonderful men! Just remember, it is not the end result but the journey that counts. Your worth can not be measured by dollars. You are priceless!
you are so blessed to be able to express these things with such wisdom & love. Thank you!!!
I am really amazed with the accuracy of your comments. I thought it was only me who had this difficulty in communicating my husband, but it seems that somehow men in general are rather feeble-or we make them feel like that. I keep all this in mind. It's not easy. It's easier to blame the other for not being enough. It's not easy either to forget and overcome past mistakes. However, there is no other way to nourish the marriage. Thanks so much for this beautiful video.
I’ve had so many epiphanies during this brief video. Thank you so much! I wish I had gotten some of this advice when I got married.
Thank you for sharing lots of sound, godly wisdom. N.E.T. is a real struggle...lol. One thing that helps me overcome is getting my validation from the LORD. Coming to Him for the love and validation I need because my husband is an imperfect person like the rest of us. I am a believer in Christ and what He's done for me gives me my worth. That helps me through seasons of drought when I may not be receiving love the way I hope or expect it.
What a great show, thank you. I see this in our society today. So true....God made us perfect, so stop trying to be something your not. Be proud and thankful the,wonderful gifts God has given you. It doesn't make you less, it makes you more.
You are a blessing to the women in your community and to the ones that seek to join your community. Keep up the GREAT work. I am looking and found your channel.
Wow thank you so much for this. I am also not Jewish however your words couldn't speak more of the truth. Thank you for your guidance and inspiration. I think that following your words of advice will help my marriage tremendously and lead to both myself and my husband being so much happier.
My great great grandmother was left in Panama with all of her children by my great great grandfather. She earned her own place there and got enough money to take her children back to the states.
wow! very tamely. thank you so so much for this message. God bless you sister!
BTw...thank you for having your brother on there on such short notice. Great to hear from a guy on this
I've watched this video several times and I always get something more from it. It has helped me a lot in my marriage and the way I see my husband. Thank you and a big hig to you :)
To be with my husband, I moved 8000km (countries and continents). I quit my job, sold my car, sold my belongings and now I'm learning a new language and I will have to re-do my formal education here once I have achieved the appropriate language level. Because of the language barrier, I can't find employment. My husband has become our sole provider and we didn't know it would be this way before I moved, I wanted to work and my husband supported that. I go to school, I plan meals, I cook, I pack his lunches, I launder his clothes and I've never been happier. Friends and family view our relationship as very 1950's and anti feminist. I view what I do for him as an act of love and service, a way of caring for him and contributing to our life and home together (as I can't contribute financially for now). It's not so much about gender roles as it is about caring for each other and our marriage more than caring what others think. If he had of moved to my country, I would have had to support him until he was established. I believe marriage is for giving. If you don't want to work together and do what needs to be done (whether it's working outside the home or within) then you are not ready for marriage.
Thank you for the wise words and guidance. I am still learning how to be an effective wife and mother and feminist in this world, and it is very difficult to navigate -- especially when one does not have any religious friends or friends who value our tradition as I do. Thank you for being a mentor to me.
Hi Rivka, discovered your channel today and absolutely love it. You are such an inspiration. This message about men (and women) is so timely and true. Thank you
Your videos are such a blessing - they help make me a better women
I hope my wife thinks like you. i agree with everything u have said.
The books by Rab Shalom Arush :Garden of Wisdom ( for women only ) and garden of Peace ( for men only) is the perfect guide to put in place a plan to understand each other. After reading the Garden of Peace, I understood what I did wrong in my marriage that ended in divorce.
Wow, wise folks. Great hearing from your husband, yes...perfect timing.
This is so awesome! Great add having your brothers input!! I'm so glad I found you! I live with my partner without much support around me and hearing this reminder of my journey gives me strength. You are a good friend even though I don't know you but I truly admire your courage.
Such wise words from you! You have great wisdom and understanding of how men are being dehumanized by modern society and today's liberized female wives, mothers, daughters, neighbors, and even friends. May G d bless and prosper your ministry! I am a widow, now, and I made so many mistakes in the past! I have had many years to repent.
You are a very sweet, sincere, delightful person. I love your videos. Thank you for making them!
This is so great; you are so right! I have been saying this for the longest time and I am so glad that you are bringing this into the open, for all women to hear. Specially about the control thing.
Wow this was so spot on and just what I needed to hear! Thanks Rivka Malka!
You have a good heart and I really like that this is set outside on your porch. Terrific aesthetic. Very organic & welcoming.
Hi! My fiance and I just watched this video. We loved what you said so much. We are so grateful for any role models and mentoring in the roles of husband and wife. Could you share your lecture on strong women and gentle men with us?
This transcends religion. Millions (not thousands) of women face these issues in their relationships whereupon they have looked for leadership from their husbands and the husband has failed their expectations (sometimes without even consulting his wife in many of his decisions) a countless number of times.
It is in the woman's nature, as the one who raises the children, to assert control (not to be confused with dominance) to ensure that her and her children's needs are being met. That is the dichotomy of the roles (religiously) between men and women - that the expectation of provider and head of the household - is placed upon the husband whilst the wife is the homemaker.
The norm of society is surpassing these traditional roles, stressing equality in the role of raising the family and working as a team, and it is often times very confusing to know how to manage your relationship - from which perspective that is more productive or satisfying. Women do have a lot of control - we are the backbone of society - and knowing how to maintain that balance is not easy. It is good advice for women to trust in The Almighty first and then her husband but it is not easy especially in difficult relationships and where the husband has disappointed his wife or has made her to feel useless or inferior (it can go in two directions).
I do agree that women have to create their own happiness and self-fulfillment; that is good advise. I hope you have more of these topics in the future. Thank you.
My marriage is failing and tonight is Rosh Hashanah I needed this suggestion thank you and thank Hashem
Such a valuable and insightful discussion!!
As a Traditionalist Catholic where I do have conflicting feelings about Judaism, Zionism, and the cultural and religious aspects of the Jewish religion, I love this channel. I love seeing how much we have in common. I have especially so much respect for your ability to be empowered in femininity. I wish the women at Mass would embrace the full headscarf rather than the thin veil. You embody the traditional moral values as well that the Lord GOD (Adonai Elohim) commands. I know that YHVH is giving you Wisdom.
I Love your videos. You are such a gift. Thank you for sharing your insightful videos. I truly enjoy and learn from them.
I am a new subscriber to your channel Rivka. I am so glad because you give the best advice and solid down to earth reasoning.
May God bless you and your family. You are a beautiful gift. I will, of course, continue to follow you.
Thank you great video it was like a eye opening . I will keep watching your videos .
Love this! Found your channel yesterday and am loving all your videos!!! Thanks for sharing!
Excellant information. Not being negative at all. Makeing a point. Good to hear and to face facts. Information shared here is new to me in so many ways. The depth of your teaching is enlighting to the eyes, unstopping my ears and touching my hard heart as it relates to my husband. How you came to this understanding I would love to know. I could have used it many many years ago. TY.
What was the book for men called? I am desperate that our children be more prepared for marriage than we were. Thank you and please keep the videos coming!
I have so much respect for you Rivka.
This is fantastic! Thank you!
I grew up with a gevurah mother who had me doing "boy's work" (yard work, fixing broken doors, chopping wood) from a young age. It didn't damage me, in fact it did the opposite - it made me realize I was capable of more than what the gender box ascribed to me. I have never fit into a stereotypical "feminine" role, which is why I question a lot of things Jewish metaphysics says about women. I have never been a "mother" or a passive "receiver"; I have always been an intellectual and a fighter. I'm not someone who willingly agrees to "shut up and let the man do his thing".
Even if you disagree with feminism and its goal of dismantling the gender hierarchy, you can't just condescendingly ignore centuries of historical struggle. Even before the 1960s women were fighting against the constrictions placed on them. Even if you believe these movements failed or were mislead, they still happened for a reason.
Yes to your idea of a strong women. This video highlights the complementing grace.
My wife was beyond the stereotypical "feminine" as well, and I appreciated it, how ever, the catch in this for some women may be finding a balance as to allow the husband to play his own role as well, in away it may turn into "clipping his wings". It may become competitive in some women, pushing men aside in a subconscious affirmation that men are not needed and this causes a doomed reaction in marriage.
Great work sister, Im not jew but I believe what you say is so important that everyone should hear.
Thanks.
Great insight for such a young woman. I have a off subject question I have been wanting to ask you, what is the remote mic you are using?
Wow 😳 I learnt so much from this thank you. It's helped me see we're I'm going wrong as a wife. I'm not Jewish I would love to be. But if I can learn good things from your faith il take it.
Thank you for your nice video, If most of ladies think like you do, Most of the problems in the world would end. Thanks again.
Great vid. Very well said.
This is brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom.
Thank you. I must tell you I enjoy your knowledge and love of faith and family. You are very helpful.
The book "Garden of Wisdom" by Rab Shalom Arush, adds richly to the message of this video
Excellent talk. So inspiring. Thank you.
March,,2019
Given my interest in Hasidic life, the insular style of life that is led, I have watched video after video and even found an Israeli film ...The Women's Balcony....That touched on the nuances of being Hasid.....Such a rich Culture and History ! Were I not Catholic, I find myself wanting to embrace some, if not many; parts of what it means to be Hasidic. The spirit of Community and connectiveness is so alive, so strong. And yet, because of what many may say is almost a nonexistence of individuality or independent thinking...One can be shunned, for not ''toeing the Judaic line ''. That once one leaves the community, they are without the means to care for themselves, etc...And, it is THAT very fear; that maintains the community. The fear of being shunned, and missing out on that network that they have relied on, because, they knew nothing else.
I'm trying to - and I'm getting there - to understand the whys and hows, of the many restrictions set in place, And, as much as I learn; for an unknown reason, I'm drawn towards a culture that I find warmth.
This is imazing! I love you.
A smart woman will alway compliment your man, and that goes both way.
So much wisdom.
My question is when Sarah kicked Yismael out of the house...H-Shem said she was right. Also when Rivka said said to trick yitzchak to give Yaakov the blessing instead of Esav, she was right. So there is an aspect of female leadership that is legitimate...how do we utilize this properly?
Love this so much! thank you Rivka♡
Stephanie Marie 😡😧😮😮😮😥🤢🤧🤮🤑👺👹☠️🎃💀☠️👽👾🤖🐶🐻🐽🌚🥐🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶🤬😂😂😧😃😧😧😧😧😧😧🕛🕛🕛🕛😄🕛🕛🕛🕛🕛🕛🕛😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😃😮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤑🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
Great lesson. Kol HaKavod. Thank you.
B'H
Thank you!😊 Blessings to you and your family. Be well.
This is so absolutely amazing. Thank you.
I needed to hear this. Thank you.
What if you already lost trust?
Thank you ..just came across your videos today ..tough times today many women are lost when it comes to there roll as a wife and men too,,A passage from a famous rabbi always sticks in my mind ..he said the older women should teach the younger women how to love there husbands...these older women obviously loved there husbands and were experienced how to teach the younger..but I remember always thinking I read and learn torah all the time..but thinking about this I knew the world the way it is now so corrupted with tv internet ungodly women and men..there are few equipped women who could fulfill this task teaching the younger women to love there husbands obviously from a emuna prospective we cannot properly know real love without hashem..and many younger women do not have mothers or older women to give them the example they need or direction. I could talk for hours on this its eternal..but keep doing what your doing and reach as many women as you can be an example and pray always shalom/..pray for me too if you remember me ..
What was the book you were going to recommend on this topic?
yes men in addiction yes amen so true. and if not depressed and many because of problems caused by their immaturity and addictions. yup. and women have to step up in may ways taking in roles of men and women both.
I am done with the entire aspect of marriage. I was never treated right. Therefore being single is a better option. I only trust God
Deedee Neri that's so sad you look like such a young beautiful girl it's definitely too early to give up the right man for you is out there you just haven't met him yet there is nothing more complete for a woman and a man to be married but I don't blame you it's the society that we are living in today it sends out such a negative and defeatist message to our young people so sad I hope my words enter your heart all the best and good luck! Oh and just one more thing you said that you trust God then trust that God has prepared for you a special man just for you when you were born!
Thank you.
Do the men also support the women the same way we are expected to support the men? In my experience, this never happens. and THAT is the real reason for discord in marriage.
Never is a big word. Most husbands who love their wives are trying to take care of them even if it's not perceived.
Love you videos!
a phone addiction would be minor. I think I may be but I don’t have any other form of getting news or enlightenment or even communication with others. I have no family or friends near.
ok you are puting way too much blame on women. Many women have no choice but to step up because their husbands have neglected them or have left them or even have passed away. You have got to realize that women step up because they have to in most cases and they are not to blame for their husbands not being the men God would have them be.
Thank You...
Please do a video on how you do your head coverings (ties) Thank you.
I know Jehovah leads you, i believe it is so important on how to treat your husband. I know I was never taught.
Thank you for this….
I married a catholic mentally challenging man very late in life when I was 56 and now found the truth of G-d. Do I let him lead,I am afraid to we are very poor on disability and he went to live with his parents because he had a panic attack and lost the family car so he went home to moma and I live in a nursing home waiting for him to save so he can come back and we get a new apartment. It's crazy and we miss each other. We talk every night. Can you give me advise?
Hi Linda! I don't have any advice to you but I do know that God listens to the prayers of a sincere heart and I hope and pray things are better now or very soon. Hugs
Thank You!
GD Bless You😊😘
¡Shalom!❤❤❤
Would it be possible to, in addition to using the Hebrew terms and names, use the English terms and names? I lose you because I don’t know Hebrew. Thank you.
Yes, I do my best to do that. I hope that you can follow along. Sometimes I'm so used to the Hebrew that I dont even know the English name that is the translation. Thanks for being here learning with me.
What are the odds.. it’s this weeks Parsha
she found shalom
4:30, facts.
Please please talk about Noahides and why they matter. Please!! M. IL.
USA. 🇺🇸
24min
She coughed! Run!
C19! Run.
M. IL
My name is Benyamen Aaron ben Nechama hentcha I need all the prayers I can get I’m in a lot of pain from an accident I can’t walk eat or sleep while your davining slip my name in
Here is my two cents and it will not necessarily be popular in this forum. Don't waste time praying nor asking for prayers. You need to find the right team to help you out and heal yourself. I was on an unloader brace for my right knee for eight months, my knee's cartilage is shot two separate areas and wasted $5K on a stem cell treatment. What got me back is I found an incredible sports medicine doctor who got me in physical therapy and I no longer need the unloader brace and hopefully kicking the can down the road for partial knee surgery for at least 5 years. My back is also not doing well, but I'm in physical therapy again. Because of this, I have to do a dual workout where I first do the strengthening exercises for an hour and then swim for 30 minutes. Also, for swimming it's pretty easy to be tznius by wearing a surfers rash guard and an excellent tool not to use your legs till you build up your strength swimming is getting a bouy. I get my swimming supplies from swimoutlet.com.
Lovely (:
sorry had to laugh too about the tile thing poor guy though lol
You know, her basic method is infantilizing the clueless man and pitying him.