answering questions i've been avoiding...
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Don't sweat the rumors. If you showed him on camera, people would pick apart your relationship. If you don't show him, people pick apart your relationship. The people who know you know the truth. Your subscribers do not need to know ANYTHING about your personal life. I get that rumors are upsetting, but at the end of the day it's just speculation from people who don't know what they're talking about.
It's ok to clear things up though
You naturally have “old money blonde” “salted caramel blonde” or whatever the trendy name for it is! It’s so flippin cute!
It’s almost the exact same as Taylor swifts I think!
Unfortunately, people are far too “online”, so if they can’t see a certain aspect of your life being plastered everywhere, they assume a lot. It’s very disturbing to think that way in my opinion. Privacy can and should still exist even for those who are very open online. It’s great that when he’s home, you’re with him! That’s NORMAL lol
1) I really respect that you keep your relationship with your hubby so private. I can tell you really value and respect your relationship.
2) thrifted mystery box giveaway/content would be super fun!!
3) my hands also create monstrosities.
Hi Alexa, for a sewing class, ask your local mom pop shop seamstresses. They won't necessarily put up an ad for a sewing class but one could be open to give you one, it can help them get a salary when not enough customers come to their store! And they have great experience
Same with sewing machine repair places or sellers. There is a Husqvarna Viking store within the Joanns I work at and they provide lessons when you buy a machine. They often will sit with you if you have trouble with things too. Most of the time they just sit around waiting for people to stop by
Hey Alexa I work in an independent small yarn store and I'd say that would be your best bet for fixing your sweater. We often have people bring in sweaters with hole for us to mend as mending a knitted object is different than a tailor like you said. I'd google to see if there's any small yarn shops in your area and call to ask them if they have services. And if not, a lot of small yarn shops are super community connected (the amount of farms, hand dyers, etc. I now know) and could probably help refer you to someone.
Thank you so much!!!! Never thought of that!
Alexa I know I don't know you personally, but I am so proud of you! I have been watching you for years now, and you continue to be full of light and love~ I hope you find a new therapist that is a good fit for you ♥️
For the gum surgery, highly recommend doing it after December, missing out on Christmas treats and dinner ect is the worst!
I need to get my wisdom teeth addressed but I really don't want to
@@sarahkinsey5434 Not sure if this helps but two years ago all four of my wisdom teeth needed be removed and I was horribly scared!! I asked my dentist if she could recommend a surgeon and she found an incredible woman who owns a clinic for people that are anxious about these sorts of things. Small details like keeping the instruments out of sight, giving anesthesia plenty of time to work, covering my eyes with a blanket really helped me. She also talked me through it by telling me what she was working on (and she asked in advance if I wanted to know or not). In the end, it was not a negative experience like I expected. The aftermath was not painful at all for 1 side of my mouth, the other side hurted big time for two weeks but it was really managable with painkillers. I hope you found the courage to go and that your recovery will be fast
@@sarahkinsey5434I could eat normally after about 2 weeks of getting all 4 of mine surgically removed. first week was lots of eggs and soup and such. second week was slightly more solid food like slow cooked meat. the biggest issue for me was cost, it ate up (haha) all my savings at the time.
@@Abby_Liu I’ve had baby teeth pulled, braces, and gum removed (but it grew back because of course it did) so I know. My dentist thinks the top ones won’t be a problem but the bottom are growing sideways. I still have to call about the referral
@@sarahkinsey5434 ah ok. my bottom ones were sideways. they really weren't a problem until they were half way out and the angle was trapping food under them in like a triangular space between the wisdom teeth and the backest molars.
I appreciate you talking about your mental health issues and OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD many years ago and it's something a lot of people don't understand. Especially when they don't deal with it themselves. I hope you are able to find a therapist that gets you very soon!
I also have OCD and it's very relatable to hear your story! HUGE recognition for the anxiety of voicing how your OCD works, I've literally prefaced things I've talked about with "I know this sounds crazy, but"
I think it's great that you keep your private life private as much as you can.
Keep things personal to you private, don’t give the haters ammunition, because they are not constructive criticism just being nasty
I was watching a tik tok regarding fixing holes in sweaters which I will try.
Wow, this video was truly amazing. I clicked on it for background noise while I did yard work and I ended up stopping to listen to your incredibly brave vulnerability and honest discussion of mental health. You are truly amazing and you are giving more people a voice and a partner in mental health struggles than you will ever know!!! Thank you for choosing to be brave even when it’s hard and the internet can suck. I 100% respect your privacy, but I also 100% am blown away and honored you would choose to be so honest and incredibly vocal about your mental health. You rock!!
Paused the vid to comment....
Your wedding video is splendid, seeing you two choose each other when the world is on fire is beautiful. I cried tears of joy for you both. I know I definitely needed to see that in a dark time. Thank you for all you share. Also, if you are having a difficult time finding somewhere to take your fun cat sweater to be repaired, I suggest maybe reaching out to a knitting craft group and ask them for assistance.
I cried reading this comment. 🥲
Be careful about winter surgery. Less sun and SADS can make recovery very stressful! Take some vitamin d and try to plan a couple nice things, meals or crafts or cute things your friends or family recommend? So you feel connected and not alone while healing
For hobbies outside of the house maybe photography (nature or just the world around you even), definitely find small sewing shops and ask about lessons or if they know of anyone in the community willing to give lessons! Ceramics are so much fun and tbh you never know until you try (also you won’t be perfect the first time! It takes practice!). Maybe dance lessons, or cooking classes. There’s definitely a good amount of hobbies and skills that our brains think should be common knowledge but really aren’t.
If you do end up going to NYFW, I'd love to see you meet up with and/or collab with Maddie Dragsbaek! I feel like you two would vibe and mesh so well 💜
I love your natural hair color! But highlights are good. Like you, I was really blonde as a kid but when to a more ashy blonde as an adult. I did highlights for years, but now it's more like the sun does it (because of where I live). We have similar coloring.
You have made me feel so seen about your fear of throwing up. I have a severe fear of it and didn't understand what went wrong in my childhood with that because it has been since I was a kid. Now I have full on panic attacks with it. I'm always told it's part of life, and I have to get use to it. I know that, but everything else in my body freaks out. Thank you so much for making me feel less confused.
Everyone who's suggesting to reach out to yarn stores/knitting groups for help with the cat sweater is great! Darning or Swiss Darning (a special kind of darning used to repair the stitches of a knit) might be your best option if you're searching terms online. I love the visible mending movement and there's some fantastic repair creators out there.
Learning to darn and visible mending are great skills and it is so empowering to be able to mend your own clothes 😊
I have two graphic novel recommendations for you. The first is about OCD it's called "Buzzing" and the second is about Emetophobia and that one is called "Guts" I also wanted to say you already do hard things! I hope you'll be able to achieve your goals this year.
Also, you are artistic! Styling clothes is an artistry, you are matching colors and textures into a final look. That's art and you're so good at it.
I’m so proud of you for sharing everything you did in this video!!! Love you 🥰🫶
I'd love a thrifted mystery box giveaway..it would be so fun.
The fact you and Carrie are both moving makes me excited for the wild and rare possibility you guys could be neighbors 💓
They need to collaborate on a podcast!
@@leaharte3901 I would watch/ listen to that❤
as far as classes - look into your public school rec department! I'm a public school teacher and it's usually always free for community members to register for the rec department, where you have access to sign up for different classes. I live in a medium-size city and there's constantly classes being offered for things like sewing, knitting, crocheting, glass blowing, ceramics, decopage, etc. generally there's a fee that will pay for materials / the teacher's time :)
Honestly I took a ceramics class and while nothing I made was all that great it was a lot of fun. One option for just getting out of the house might be to go to your local library and pick a book to read there, or see if they have any other activities you can do. I'm not much of a reader but I enjoy doing that just as a way to get out and be in a different atmosphere
sooo much respect for you to take your quality time with your guy and separating work from personal relationships!! it’s hard to do in a world that revolves around social media so props to you!! i think it helps relationships a lot to step away from the phone when you are together!!! awesome job Alexa!🥰🥰🥰
I really appreciate you taking time to open up and be vulnerable about your mental health struggles. I also have emetophobia and anxiety and it often feels like I'm going to be stuck like this forever but it's so encouraging hearing how you've struggled but how you've made progress and taken back some control. Sending you so much love ❤
Sending you all the love! Thank you for talking about your therapy and exposure journey. You describing your intrusive thought patterns reminded me of myself before starting therapy. It feels so liberating to making progress.
Gum grafting isn't fun, but it's quick (maybe 45 mins tops probably, I had two teeth at the bottom in the front done) and you'll be very numb. Recovery takes about a week, and only the first day is bad, but you'll have pain meds. My doc offered me a sedative, but I didn't take it. You can do it!
Man I relate so hard to all the ocd things you talked about. I have OCD too and sometimes I wish it was a real physical being so I could slap it on the face for making me think the way I do.😂
I have a hard time believing there are people out there that don’t like you. You are an absolute breath of fresh air. Your positive outlook is contagious. I love your videos! 🥰
Sewing classes! I go to a weekly adult class in Los Alamitos, (don’t think that’s too far from you?) I’ve been going for 2 years and its changed my life, SO FUN! Happy to share info if you’d like!
Thank you so much for opening up about your OCD and other mental health struggles. It’s so helpful to hear. Keep doing the hard work.
I really could relate to the shame and embarrasment you feel when talking about your thought process. I was having a terrible day and you made me feel very understood. Xxx
I was also diagnosed with OCD 7 years ago. It has been a journey, as each day is. I appreciate you sharing your experience with it! I feel very seen. You are doing great!! ❣️
Swiss darning is a good and easy way to fix knits, I do it all the time with socks and thrifted sweaters
I love your outfit!! It looks adorable🥰
Look up local yarn stores!! They can point you in the direction of people who come there who might be open to being paid to fix it!
Thank you so much for this video. It really makes me feel seen as a person who has OCD and who struggles to make sense of it. I haven't been able to go back to therapy since my diagnosis yet because I have been busy with life but it feels so nice to know that you have and that you are making progress. I am so so proud of you.
Yes we would love a thrifted mystery box giveaway ! 😊 and i understand a lot of your feelings because i have similar ones! 💛
Late to the party here, but want to thank you for being so vulnerable and honest about your mental health journey. I also have had my struggles with anxiety, depression, hormones, therapy work, medication...it's hard. So just thank you for sharing. I seriously hope you can find another therapist to support you as you go forward. Keep climbing, girl!
I was diagnosed with OCD a few months ago, which was actually a big surprise to me. I've had anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, but after beginning to have panic attacks last year, my OCD made its presence VERY known. Suddenly it was like "oh, that's why I do that? Oh... now it all makes sense."
Exposure therapy has been very difficult, but we are very strong people!!!
I 100% respect your privacy and feel no need to see your husband featured on your channel 💛 I also really connected with what you shared about OCD and phobias... I have a very extreme fear of throwing up as well and I recently spoke to my psychiatrist about my OCD tendencies. I felt so validated that my psychiatrist also thinks I have OCD and now I'm looking to get a formal diagnosis. The freedom of choice that you talked about... Touched me right in the heart.
*I also relate so SO much with the decision rabbit holes and guilt and shame! I personally also have some germaphobia that took over my life during the pandemic but I've come a long way with exposure!
P.S. I LOVE THE SIMS SO MUCH 😍
Girl, I had gum graft surgery this year and it really wasn’t that bad at all! Seriously! You can do this! You will be so glad that you did!
My surgeon had a whole convo with his assistant the whole time so I focused on that and played All Too Well 10 minutes Version in my head the whole time to distract myself and it worked so I suggest just get a good song stuck in ur head, try to relax, and distract yourself however you can!
as someone with ocd i really appreciate you talking about your journey so openly❤
Your natural hair is amazing!
I actually am recovering from gum graft surgery right now! I actually had to get two done because I had a lot of damage but the first time I got exactly what you’re describing! Just wanted to send some encouragement - no horror stories here! It took a few weeks to heal fully so I recommend January when you’re less busy (and you don’t have to worry about eating soft foods during the holidays) and just take all work off the table since your job is so much talking! Give yourself the time and space and grace. It’s not so much painful but just mentally a little challenging not being able to work as much. And the fact that you have to be on soft foods and that’s boring lol. I was petrified for this surgery but once you’ve done it, you’re done for life so hopefully that’s a little encouraging at all 💖
hey Alexa! i just got a gum graft done and am actually getting my stitches out today! I’m not going to sugar coat it, it was not a fun experience at all but you will be fine! I def recommend getting some anxiety medication before hand and just making sure you have some time to let yourself heal. I listened to an audiobook the whole time with my eyes shut and let the dentist know beforehand about how anxious i was! It’s not as bad as wisdom teeth removal but the healing is similar
I have diagnosed anxiety and OCD too, and chronic migraines. The struggle is real! Hang in there, Babe. 🖤
Also I love your thoughts on vlogging and showing your spouse online. That’s something I’ve been trying to figure out myself.
I feel like you articulated your feelings about privacy and setting social media boundaries so well, you have every right to keep things private 🙌! I actually feel happier watching your videos because of how you keep certain things private? It stresses me out so much when people post lots of their private details online, I wish we lived in a better world but it worries me to see folks who could be targeted by weirdos posting things that could be used to track them. I just want people to be safe 🤣
These sit down videos are some of my favorites
As for hobbies that get you outside, I can really recommend people watching! You can take a walk, or sit in a café or on a park bench, depending on weather and your personal energy level, and just watch the people around you interact with each other. You can really do a lot with this, you could just watch and try to be aware of your surroundings in the moment, or you could try and come up with background stories for the different characters crossing your path! You could even start writing those stories down and create your own little fantasy world. It's a great mindfulness practice! And NO, you don’t have to stare at people, just a short glance or an attentive ear is all you need! You can do this anywhere anytime, as long as there's another living soul around (yes, you can absolutely do this with animals, too!)
Personally, I think the idea of you doing a thrift mystery box as a giveaway is such a lovely idea! And it would be so cool to watch the process for the mystery box! ❤
I hope you do make a podcast, I really enjoy your talkative videos. I totally relate to the guilt and overthinking, I had an interview yesterday and I totally bombed it. I keep thinking about it and couldn’t even sleep last night. It’s hard to let go
i loved getting to know you more! also thrift mystery boxes would be so cool!
Omg a thrifted mystery box styled by you is my dream! I’d love if you did a giveaway, especially if you show the whole thrifting process! But only if it’s not stressful for you 💗
My boyfriend did a gum graft last year. He actually got a good checkup recently where they told him it seems that it helped and that his gums look much better! He wasn't in much pain at all and healed pretty quickly!
Such a great video 🩷 thanks for being so vulnerable in sharing. Also sims is a valid hobby lol
❤ I love the boundaries you set and hold for your personal life!! Maybe instead of a vlog, you could do a "behind the scenes" video? Like, how you plan your videos, set up, edit, etc... 😊
Wow thank you for being so open about your ocd. I have very similar phobias! It's funny you mentioned Alcohol that's why I don't drink it either. I know how personal this is so thank you so much for sharing truly ❤❤❤❤
NY you should definitely go, you can do it ❤
looove the scrunchie !
I also learned about gum grafts from Mia Maples! When I went to the dentist and they saw my receding gums, they were like "you have to floss more, otherwise your gums will recede more and your teeth will fall out!" and I had a panic attack right there :/ they never even mentioned that such a surgery existed. Unsurprisingly I'm looking for a new dentist lol.
I would love a thrift mystery box! I found you in thriftmas and love those videos. I feel like those boxes would make amazing videos too!
I had a gum graft a few years ago and wasn’t put under. I brought some headphones and listened to a podcast! recovery wasn’t too tough but you’re correct to plan some time off from talking to rest up!
you are so brave talking about your mental health❤ i’m in school to be a mental health counselor so i really loved hearing the insight 💕 best wishes to find a new therapist
Cmon girl you know your audience we would LOVE a mystery box giveaway 😭💖🥰
Alexa!! I had the gum recession surgery about 8 years ago when I was 19. It’s not fun and healing the roof of your mouth where they take the tissue is the hardest part, but I’m so glad I got it over with!! And will probably be set indefinitely according to my dentist and periodontist 🤞🏻 Good luck ❤
switching therapists is always stressful! I feeeeel you. In the same boat as you as my OCD has flared tf up! hahaha. NOT fun. I love these videos and these updates about you. So much love
I had kinda the opposite done Alexa. Had extra gums cut after having braces.they gave me a strong pain med and I never used it. It didn't hurt at all during or after. The only thing that hurt was the anesthetic shot
Oooo for hobbies ive started reading:) it sounds strange that i use it as an excuse to leave the house but i pick a park, find a bench and enjoy the good weather and dive into a new world :).
You can also maybe grab a scetch book or adult colouring book and do the same 😊
I second this! Also you can make a habit of going to the library! It’s become one of my favorite activities
Hey! I had the same gum surgery about a year ago and it wasn’t as bad as it seems. Definitely worth getting it out of the way
always love seeing your videos 🥰
You have such a great and bubbly personality. I look forward to seeing you.
I personally would love the thrifted mystery box!!🌼💛
I just had gum graft surgery last month. It is a bit weird to know what they are doing when it's happening but it's honestly pretty fast. Recovery is a bit more than I expected but manageable. When I found out I had to do it, it freaked me out because I'd never heard of it but it seems to be so common. I saw someone in the comments advise to wait until after Christmas and I agree, eating can be tough for a bit. Best of luck for when it happens!
Loved this video, can relate to so much of what you said! I have been looking a lot into autism recently as I suspect I might be on the spectrum and some of the things you mentioned could possibly be autistic traits. I’m not an expert in any way or saying you are - just something to look into as looking into it myself has really helped me understand myself better and make adjustments for myself so I don’t constantly end up in crisis.
Also about the whole therapy thing - now that I’ve found the right therapist after years of searching, I’m so scared that they are going to leave me 😭 Wishing you the best of luck with finding someone new! I know how hard it can be but feeling hopeful that you’ll find the right person soon.
A hobby I have when it's warmer is, I like to go out to the nearby park and sit and read. It gets me out of the house, it's a walk there and back, and I get some reading done. I do not know whether that is feasible for you, but there you have it.
And I am very interested in a potential mystery box giveaway. I think I probably speak for a lot of people in saying that.
I’ve had gum surgery for my lower teeth because of my receding gums. They did exactly what you said and took skin from the roof of my mouth. I was nervous but it was actually way easier and much faster than I thought it would be. The healing time was actually very easy too. You can do it!
I remeber when I first saw your strawberry cardigan in a thumbnail and decided to click and now you've been my favorite youtuber! Thank you for this video and being so real and genuine
ah means so much 😭💘
Love your video keep them coming, there is nothing wrong with having a personal life and not wanting to share everything on line !!❤
Personally I only have Snapchat I don’t regret not having a lot of social media!!
I think your boundaries wrt to your private life are just right. You’re authentic but you keep your relationship private. Good for you! People get invested like it’s a soap opera and even try to to bully those they watch into the plot developments they want, when it’s someone’s actual life.
Only just started my own exposure therapy to treat my emetophobia and you make me feel like I can do it ❤❤
Awww, it’s so great to get another catch-up video from you, Alexa! Wishing you good vibes for finding a new therapist - it can be so hard to find one you really vibe with, especially since the process involves so much vulnerability. Wishing you luck on the move as well! I’ll be moving soon too so I know it’s a whole Production.™️ I wanted to say that I have so much respect for your desire for boundaries re: your personal life! People have different boundaries and obviously it’s fine if they’re open to sharing more, but the way the internet is nowadays it can be easy to forget that no one is obligated to share anything they don’t want to! And I think it’s sweet that you want to make sure to be present with John. 🙂 Also I love how both you and Laini are living out the “RUclipsr/significant other who doesn’t even have social media” trope, haha.
This may not be something you’d like so obviously disregard if so, but your two points about being nervous about starting a podcast and having to talk to people for the first time in that format (very valid!) and also wanting to try out more hobbies got me thinking. I actually am not familiar with your podcast idea (I must’ve missed that somehow), but maybe there’s a way to address both of those things at the same time so you can build your confidence? Like idk, would collaborating with another RUclipsr who has a hobby you’re interested in be a possibility? Not the same as being in person or getting out of the house, but having a baseline understanding of whatever it is you want to do could help with any anxiety about physically going somewhere to try something? Since you mentioned sewing, that got me thinking of how you’re friends with Jenna Phipps, Leena Norms is doing her year of make do, Rachel Maksy does a lot of art and costuming projects, etc.
Ok definitely NOT a replacement for therapy but We Can Do Hard Things podcast has given me so much to reflect on and just feels like a warm hug to my ears. Also iWeigh with Jameela jamil. Ugh I would teach you to sew if I was home in socal but Im away at school 😢 Also, would highly recommend pickle ball. Take advantage of the weather!
I got gum grafting done! You can do it!!! Just check to see if you can pick up your pain meds right before the procedure, because the worst part for me was the drive from the dentist to the pharmacy to get pain pills in me. I couldn’t pop it in fast enough. And the sore part isn’t really the gums, it’s the roof of the mouth where they had to harvest the graft from. I wore headphones with loud music during it so I didn’t have to hear what’s going on so much. Best of luck ❤ it’s not the worst. Just a week or so of relaxing and ice cream.
10 years wow God bless you both don’t ever break up 😢 watching you since 2019
If you do come to NYC, don't miss the Housing Work thrift shops. There are many, including a small one on the Upper West Side, where my friend frequently donates. Proceeds support people with HIV/AIDS. You might need to mail things back home.
I love your honesty and also respect what you want to keep private. I found out early on how great and awful the internet can be.
Keep looking for a sewing class. I used to make and alter my own clothes, but I've lost my skills. You'd love being able to make more thrifted pieces work for you with alterations, or using thrifted fabric and scarves.
It's so nice to hear you talking about your emetofobia. It's something only my closest friends know about me but takes up such a big part in my life. Last week I was able to eat normally outside of the house while having a cold and that was a big achievement for me (eating outside of the house always triggers me and being ill makes it even worse)! I also don't drink alcohol hahah! I have very bad intruisive thoughts about the phobia. This probably is the first time ever I heard someone with a similar experience so thanks for being open about it. Whenever I hear someone else say they have the phobia it's not even close to what I have 😅
Eating outside of the house is one of my triggers as well so big claps you were able to do it!!!! ❤️ I didn’t even know it had a phobia name until a couple years ago even though I’ve been dealing with it since I was 13 and always just thought I was “weird” mainly because the way I would react to things related to the phobia would be so extreme to other people that they’d just make fun of me so I totally feel you!
@@alexasunshine83 yes! I never talk about my triggers to people 😅 thanks for being so open
I got a gum graft in 2023, and while it's TOUGH, it isn't that bad! just don't think too much about it while they are doing it haha you'll be great! just don't book it near any kind of public event for a few weeks! I downloaded podcasts and had my headphones in and just practiced some deep breathing.
I can totally identify with how your brain works!! As a fellow anxiety sufferer, my brain has become very skilled at explaining how literally everything that goes wrong is my fault. It's something I'm working on in therapy, too. Hopefully we can learn to be more gentle with ourselves 💕
Interesting video and I appreciate that you shared some of your struggles with us!!💛
I would love to see your wedding video! ❤
Love ur natural hair colour
For sweater repair, have you thought about contacting a local knitting group, or finding a local yarn shop to see if they do sweater repair. I know that there is an organization called Loose Ends that finishes people's craft projects, so maybe they would be willing to help with repairing a knit sweater.
potentially for the cat sweater you could find a local small business yarn store and call to see if they would fix it for you or know of someone that would!! Yarn store owners are always nice and very talented and they're usually very connected in the knitting world!! Not from Cali but I'm sure there are some around!
I'm similar to you with my OCD issues and anxiety - I'm really surprised you can be a RUclipsr. I would not be strong enough to do it with all my anxiety/OCD. You must be stronger than you know. Good luck with a new therapist - hope it all works out well.
You are amazing
Keep being you ❤
I love your videos and I teach about mental health and it’s good to hear how people’s minds works. Like me you might have a running voice in your head lol only 33% people do and when I ask people only one will raise their hand out of 16. Others just stare at me. I have autism and a TBI and to go to art therapy it’s very soothing. I’m 40 and highly recommend. I’m late diagnosed and also hey migraines. I was getting three a day and have been taking a monthly shot it was called aimovig but not it’s anjovy. Typically with out mental health migraines are comorbidities. You are doing great! Finding a therapist is so so hard too. I wish you all the best.