CPTSD and Romance: Why SLOW is Better
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- Опубликовано: 20 янв 2019
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One reason people with Childhood PTSD (or Complex PTSD) so often have a hard time in relationships is "DWD" -- Dating While Dysregulated. In this video I talk casual sex and how it can SEEM like it's going to help us get re-regulated, but in the long term, it doesn't always go that way.
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I have the opposite issue. I’m terrified of intimacy because of feelings of self worth. If I don’t connect, I can’t be hurt. But this only hurts me and her. My subconscious has sabotaged relationships that should have been amazing but instead just became a stressful trigger of all my perceived worthlessness.
I am sorry, I have had the same issue.
Hang in there, I was there too. Please try the daily practice, please know you are lovable and full of love to give.
LOOK FOR DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE......THAIS GIBSON IS THE BEST EXPERT.........AND OF COURSE GET CLOSER TO GOD.......IM CATHOLIC AND JESUSCHRIST HAS SAVED AND TRANSFORMED MY LIFE IN EVERY SINGLE WAY.....BLESSINGS!
The somatic ex narcissist used sex as a way to get me attached. I’ve learned a lot from the extremely painful encounters with him. I wasn’t ready to have sex with him so soon, however back then I didn’t see that it was ok to say no. It’s ALWAYS OK TO SAY NO 💕
been with my husband for almost 20 years and i only now am feeling a sense of , like, an emotional safety. Its was tough to go through this and finally get there, and its not like its perfect - i still have issues. Always feels like Im a late bloomer, or maybe that I (we with cptsd) are just slow learners. BUt i will mention that you are so correct about the hugs! I need constant contact, like a baby elephant that is always looking to touch another family member. And thank goodness my husband is pretty much like me in always requiring physical contact, so we match there. The guy I was in a serious relationship with previously was not really like that, and Im pretty sure we wouldve divorced by now had we married. I got LUCKY with my husband, and still almost messed things up early on.
I’m going through a potential separation from someone who isn’t matched in emotional or physical connection. It was great to hear your story
@@keepmoving1185 Im sorry to hear that. I hope something good comes out of your difficult trials you are going through right now.
* hugs *
Your channel is helping me to no end. May I make a suggestion? Use the term healthy people vs. Normal people. I am normal but because of my PTSD I am not healthy.
Or, non-traumatized vs traumatized.
I just had an intimate relationship with a PSYCHOPATH. It was horrible. I was already a victim of psychopathic and narcissistic abuse. I thought I had been doing better because I dated a man who wasn't disordered for the first time in years and then sure enough I met another one. I am so tired of people telling me to love myself and take time to myself and to stop looking for a relationship. I DESERVE a healthy relationship with a NON disordered man who will give me the intimacy, affection and love I DESERVE. I normally do take my time, but the Psychopath that just discarded me moved fast. I welcomed it because I dealt with SO much betrayal trauma the last few years, it was so nice being close with someone that adored me, even though I realize it was all fake. He didn't love me and he just damaged me more when I didn't even think that was possible. I will not give up. I DESERVE LOVE and I DESERVE INTIMACY and I don't need to wait, I can find that tomorrow if there was a worthy man. I'm just not going to let someone tell me one thing and do another. If someone says they love me and then doesn't act like it, I will run.
Thats incredibly validating. I've been intensely craving touch, hugs, to be held for a while, but suuuuuuper single. And struggling to get maself together. Mind blown. Ive always wanted to get a weighted blanket, or a compression vest or something.
Hope you did. You can hug yourself as well. Been doing that a lot recently. There are some EMDR techniques that help too xx
@@skyejacquesabsolutely, we can actually fulfill that craving for touch ourselves, although it takes practice and time
Think I'll stick with cats at this point, but thanks.
Lol! I'm pretty codependent on my cat...
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy I would, but I'm freakin' allergic! I want to get a hairless one or a peterbald.
please don't have sex with your cat :D
August - snakes are hypoallergenic :)
Nowhere else I've heard this explained so well. This is a true revelation to me, and so freeing. I will watch this over and over again until it sinks in. Thank you 💕💕
Oh God these videos are so helpful. This one really hit home, and matches my own conclusions at the moment.
It’s actually pretty enlightening to hear all that from the mouth of another person, this “Ok it’s not just me” feeling. Helps understanding there is somehow a mechanism behind those bad choices and struggles at making good ones.
I really enjoy the clear and warm tone of your presentations. Thanks for the work you’re doing here.
Also the melody at the end sounds like the breakdown in “I‘d Do Anything For Love“ - Meatloaf (was this intentional? Kind of appropriate I thought hehe)
Thank you.
There’s a lot in this brief video; for me, slow, steady and deliberate is definitely the path.
No physical intimacy quickly; getting to know one another; me assessing her as she does me and so on.
☀️
I agree. Am trying to get this message across to my daughter... with or without ptsd- it still works better to wait and know who they are before developing that bond.
I think so too!
Thank you! Love the way you broke it down! You are the first person who has actually given me hope to overcome my dis-regulation and my symptoms mirror what you described in your other videos. Thank you for your devotion and keep the videos coming, you are helping people that the healthcare system in the US have failed miserably! "CRAPPY" access to qualified therapist, or seen by unskilled therapist. I have struggled and paid a huge price in my life for decades because someone did not ask me the right questions. I have been medicated and referred to group therapy but now I am better equipped with the knowledge so that I can demand the appropriate therapy.
Thank you Monica, this means a lot to me.
I love you Anna! You hv been a God Send to help us figure out all this nonsense out coping with a Crappy Childhood tht caused some crappy adulthood! ❤️ We are figuring this all out! Thank u
Yes, in it all together!
This was really validating to hear. I've come to the same conclusion now that I'm single again after another difficult break up. I still don't know exactly how to do this buy not introducing sex into the equation right away seems like the best idea I've heard so far .....for exactly the reasons you said....Thank you.
Glad to find another woman who can relate. If it makes sense for you, you may want to check out my dating course. It's got a big section on common negative patterns, and another big section on "structured dating," which helps get past the negative patterns! crappychildhoodfairy.lpages.co/dating-course-from-youtube
Crappy Childhood Fairy the link is broken :(
thank you so much for your videos. please keep them going. this is so helpful. I'm really thankful for the work you're doing here
Thank you! Glad you are here!
This is really informative.
Please I'd like you to make more videos like this.
Would really help.
Thank you
Thank you, Anna. This was so helpful!
There's so much wisdom here. I wish I had seen this 10 years ago!
Thank you for really helping me to realise why I can't get close to my husband we have been married 27 years this Valentine's Day and I can't even approach him for a cuddle especially if I'm overwhelmed activated and can't regulate its heartbreaking for us. I have DID/CPTSD I have 12 parts who have been severely traumatised in childhood re-traumatised in teenage years and again as a young adult my husband has been my rock all of these years and I can assure everyone its been really difficult for us both. Real love can cure and comfort a lot of my hurts. However since a car accident 3 years ago I have become more and more dysregulated more activated and stuck in back brain for months, I am also in the menopause and still grieving for both parents and my beloved brother, I have lost so many people I love and if it weren't for the love I share with my husband and daughter and help from some amazing trauma experts I would not have survived but my sheer determination passion and drive to keep going comes from all my 12 traumatIsed parts whom I love dearly and have saved me when I fall. Trauma demands respect and the work involved in recovery which can take 10 years is gruelling to say the least I'm 8 years into my recovery and I have many resources but the most help you can give a person who has trauma is kindness and compassion it goes a long way and I amount my hard work to that of going to university to sit a degree that's the effort we must put in to recover. so I thank and respect anyone who feels they can help by sharing there valued time support and kindness you have no idea the bravery and strength it takes just to open our eyes in the morning and thank goodness we didn't have a flashback or dissociate and come round in a hospital and not know why is terrifying enough never mind all the other gruelling days we have to go through constant soothing and dialogue and reassuring parts they are safe and no one will harm you is utterly exhausting I have to travel 4 hours on a bus and 4 hours back to receive the therapy I need. We should never judge anyone we will go through trauma at some point in our life so please love one another show empathy for the lost souls who aren't as lucky as me and thank God for people who do actually help and save people like me every day. my therapist has dedicated his time to help me the first book he gave me to read was Waking The Tiger by Peter Levine brilliant book and the next one a book called Recovery is my best revenge by a truly inspiring survivor Carolyn Spring who helped me realise yes I can recover but I have to do the work needed and thank goodness I am still here surviving. With the right people around you to support there is hope and I'm living proof of that and one day soon I too will be helping to heal other people who have these conditions. Compassion is the best healer of all.
Thank you for this beautiful post, and reminder that love is the healing power. Everything we do is to grow in our capacity to love and be connected. I hope you continue to improve and master regulation. Let me know how it goes.
Could you tell me more about those 12 parts or where I can get more information about it?
Best to you, sounds like you've done a lot of hard work ❤
Give time to heal !!! Thank you for the info. U are helping me a lot !! Sometimes I just want to scream out loud so the pain can go out 🙁
Thank you for helping me understand
so i met my gf in july of last year. we talked for three months before making it official. at times i wish we could have waited a little longer but it was a choice that i was happy to make. i have huge abandonment wounds and trauma and withdraw when it comes to intimacy building. almost of all of my relationships, including that with my gf, are long distance. she and i have similar relationship histories and we have communicated our traumas with onr another, and are both committed to personal growth inside and outside of the relationship and i can see and feel the progress within both of us.
we encorage each other in our healing and try our best to be emotionally present with one another. i have never been in a relationship like this before so all of this is new to me, working to build a healthy relationship is something new to both of us. she really is the woman i asked the universe for all these years but lately i have found myself doubting my feelings for her and withdrawing, i didn't realize that was what i was doing until i watched a video about fantasy bonds a few days ago.
my question is how do i work out my abandonment fears & withdrawing so that i can be emotionally present in the relationship? i know that this takes time and patience is a difficult thing for me. thank you for reading and i look forward to your reply, my crappy childhood fairy. 🙂
Hi, I hope you'll try my techniques for re-regulating. And if you like them, consider taking one or both of my courses. You can learn more about first course here:
Crappy Childhood Fairy
• 2 days ago
I hear you. I hope you'll check out more of my videos and articles, here and on crappchildhoodfairy.com. Follow the blog so you get updates too...
In particular, have a look at techniques: crappychildhoodfairy.com/2018/12/27/how-i-healed-from-childhood-ptsd-free-techniques-that-help-re-regulate-your-brain-and-emotions
Healing Childhood PTSD course: crappychildhoodfairy.lpages.co/fairy-course-from-youtube
Dating Course (coming out early Feb): crappychildhoodfairy.lpages.co/dating-course-interest-sign-up
Hope to connect with you further through all this!
Anna
pup party hi if you can find a way to separate the feelings of abandonment wounds to your trauma and know that this is my trauma speaking its not my true feelings for this amazing person who wants to share your life and not to get completely lost in the wounds which make you withdraw then this may help you realise that yes it's my trauma talking to me if you can really separate and stand back and not get lost in. Could help it's just a suggestion I have huge abandonment issues also and this one of the ways I help myself your true self loves the person and sounds like the love is there it is our fears that make us doubt our true honest feelings the fear that caused the wound originally your partner needs to know how you are feeling so you don't fall too far into the wound a true love will heal a wound far quicker when the wound is shared I hope this helps 🙂
Yup, that was me. Then I just started avoiding romantic relationships altogether.
We don't have to avoid if we have some strategies for healing :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
This is so me. My love and platonic relationships have been messy, moreover they of my love life. Never had a satisfying and loving connection woth someone.
There's still time!
I struggle with the time issue because I'm now 60 and seeing the time go by much faster, in addition to the effects of aging on my body. I'd really like to have a good sex life and marriage while I still can, so I get into things too quickly sometimes, though I have gotten better at weeding out the bad ones over the last 3 years. I just went through this with someone that *seemed* like a great woman for me, but in the end it was a disaster. I've made a lot of the mistakes that are talked about in the videos and desire a "one flesh" relationship (as the Bible calls it) more than anything else in my Earthly life. Going "slow" is tough!
You are not alone in this struggle. If you're interested, there is a 'dating and relationship's' course bit.ly/39sfsgZ
-Cara@TeamFairy
Think this is great advise. I truly believe in taking it slow, especially if you didn't know the person before you entered into a romantic relationship with them. My question is what is too young or too old? You talk about getting lucky and finding the right partner. Perhaps that will stay through all the dysregulation and other issues CPTSD causes and remain supportive. My wife and I have a 24 year age gap, we've been a couple for over 22 years married 20. At one point it did go off the rails, (a direct result of the relationship difficulties CPTSD can cause) but we stayed together. We are very happily married, but to the young females beware of the psycho/sociopath in an age gap relationship. I've seen this over and over again in age gap groups. Your 2 part series on CPTSD & attraction to unavailable people really explains it well.
Thanks so much for listening and commenting!
Wow....you are speaking my truth....luckily I am married to a man who tries his hardest to deal w me. The intimate part makes so much sense!!!!
So happy for you that your husband can stand by you. It can be so helpful. Healing is possible and it'll be a great gift for you and for him!
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy My whole family have turned against me, except my husband..and trust me, Idk why he hasn't left me. I've been acting out very erratically. Not even sure why. But, I just started Cognitive therapy. My life has just been one tragic event after another. I really want to recover though. I'm so blessed I found your channel. Thank you for all u do!
Its difficult to feel intimacy when I'm in survival mode at all times.
Here's hoping you can get past that survival mode! Keep on healing!
Wow....this is exactly my problem. You summed it up perfectly. I'm always worried about the next thing in my life. And I don't know how to balance my romantic life with everything else. So I don't....i just exclude romance altogether. Even though I want it.
Do you do work around the opposite problem? I have the issue of wanting healthy intimacy but basically just self-isolating because any time that I'm in an intimate situation with someone that I like and know for a fact would be a good match for me, I go into total shut down mode and can't function and/or have a meltdown. I find in dating that I'll take things slow in order to put off intimacy, and then the person eventually loses interest and moves on because I'm so guarded. So, basically, I'm trying to do the opposite thing of diving in and letting myself work through all the fear and anxiety whilst in it (because I'll never get around to it any other way), but sometimes it's so bad that it's debilitating. I'd be very interested if you did a video on some tips for how to navigate this, and/or have course that adresses it.
You are so right. I've heard this called social (or sexual) anorexia. My observation is that some people do this overtly, and others in a veiled way -- avoiding intimacy through choosing unavailable people, cheating, etc. I will do a video. Thanks! I hope you go to the blog and connect somehow. I hope to get more feedback from you!
AE1P hi I really feel your struggle on the the issues you are clearly doing all you can to find a solution and I totally understand and see your difficulty. I cannot even cuddle my husband and its really very heartbreaking because the bond and love is there. I just can’t always reach out to him for no other reason than he is a man and men hurt me and now 8 years into my recovery from DID/CPTSD I’m sure if we can make it and we have been married 27 years next month on Valentine’s Day we both need each other so very much though I cannot get close my walls are so high and made of steel because of the traumatic experiences I endured, and no one will ever harm me again though we try it’s not easy though over these past few days we are talking more and understanding the complexity that is my conditions and his too he is my rock and would not be in this world today if we hadn’t met. And I have never heard of “intimacy anorexia” but new right away yes this is me right now I’m starving myself off affection I realise it now after reading your post I am the one who can’t reach out and all the parts of me just don’t want or need it anymore it’s me present Rosie that craves Ito be just held in the arms of my lovely man my parts do sometimes want a cuddle but mostly not just now and my lovely man is missing out on the intimacy he deserves and needs to have, I pray we can work it out though I have 12 parts and there could be more hidden in the protection of amnesia it’s very scary for me and him what our future holds hopefully in time we can repair the damage these awful conditions cause. I truly hope you find the love you so deserve to have we all need love to survive. Love heals all things difficult. Anne is an amazing woman who can help to explain a lot of how I’m feeling which can change from second to second I believe people cross our paths for no other reason than to offer help support kindness and understanding with out stigma of any kind. I feel your pain and understand your plight I hope you find inner resolve 🙂
@@AE1P.
I have the exact same problem. It is excruciating
Me too
i think there is a difference between the anxious attachment approach and avoidant attachment approach, both born of childhood trauma and disregulation but totally different approaches and views on people/sex/relationships. what you described (instant bond) sounds more like anxious attachment folks
I've always believed there is someone for everyone it depends on how much you're willing to put up with.
I don't think that is a helpful mindset, to "put up with" things...
@@coralecho2485 That’s it how much are you willing to put up with some people would rather be with an abuser then be alone with the parasite that lives with in.
It took me years to learn more how much safer it can be to slow down and use more discernment, patience, and higher standards about who to be sexual with and how much. There is definitely something to be said for really solidly building a natural flow of authentic friendship, really getting to know each other and building trust, without involving the bond and complications and NRE love blindness of sexual connection at all or too quick. At least for me. But that can help many people I think. Sexuality is wonderful and needs to be treated with the respect for its power. Of course sexuality is deeply personal and its healthy expression can take many forms. Just saying in general it seems most likely to be safest and deepest when the emotional intimacy is given plenty of attention and space to thrive too, not just objectified physical connection or a race to casually hook up as a "score" or little thought put into true compatability. More full-bodied connection.
In identifying when sex is a good thing, people fall on a continuum, somewhere between random hookup and lifelong commitment. CPTSD tends to pressure us toward the hookup end, just to get some semblance of love and connection. For some of us, including me, healing required moving WAY over toward the commitment end. It was remarkable how setting the bar at what I really wanted caused my whole life to rapidly reconfigurations into... what I really wanted!
Thanks.
Men and Women are entirely different. Truth and trust are key.
Being as honest and open as humanly possible can create intimacy. Love comes from the heart.
Thanks for watching :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Do you have a website ?
Terrifically practical advice
Do you have Google? type in Crappy Childhood Fairy.
OMG!!! this is me!!!
I am really invested in my healing but sometimes I lack patience. I just want to get on with life. However, it's so obvious that if I don't do the work I will just keep making messes. I married someone who didn't really love me and I chased love and validation for 10 years. Overlapping that relationship was a fantasy relationship with someone who gave me love and validation but was entirely unavailable. Now, after being separated from my husband for 2 years, 2 months ago fantasy man also hit the bricks. I haven't been so sad in forever. I'm doing much better now but I feel like a true connection might be only a dream.
It's hard work to retrain our brains, but it's not hopeless
-Cara@ Team Fairy
I wish you videos were longer, 5 mins just isn’t enough. You are fabulous!
Thank you! If you liked this video, I have a whole course on dating and relationships for people with Childhood PTSD. You'll find it on my courses page courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com
Crappy Childhood Fairy How uncanny, I was just watching another one of your vids about the cab light and thought, I must check out the dating and relationships course, then I saw your comment! Thanks 😊
Ohh yes… now I believe I’m finally in contact with a good man …we chat literally hours and text over 4 months , yes we live 400 miles apart , but in my eyes that’s good SLOW movement that helps us both , I’m widowed of many years but walked into a ‘ crumbs’ relationship as he as married ..wasted years there ..then tragically walked into a narcissistic verbal abuse relationship which I embarrassingly couldn’t leave ..it was a horrible part of my life that I felt ashamed of ..I DIDNT LEAVE when I should of left years ago . Finally after 7 years ( and many failed attempts) I left the shit show . Resulting in a Two plus year out reflection, healing, self forgiveness time … My now current slow relationship with a beautiful man also on a healing mission…. Thus is something I’ve never experienced…loyalty, honesty, consistency, stability, total openness, truthful, sensitive, emotional, steady, good family support and love, and really important to me have the ability to TALK LEARN RESPECT WAIT GO SLOWLY XX THANK GOODNESS XXXX
Man!! You keep it hella real sister...
What about hyper sexuality and promiscuity?
I venture to think that this is implicitly acknowledged in the video. It is behaviour that stems from the same source but it would probably be good to have this covered in a separate video.
I have the problem of going _too_ slowly. Or, not at all. I do want a romantic relationship with somebody, but every time someone is actually interested in me, I have anxiety and then shut down and try to avoid them. And everyone I am interested in, they're not interested in me... I've liked one person now for years, and I am consistently terrified of being rejected, so I have stayed in limbo over it instead. My self-negative thoughts (and a past experience of a seriously painful rejection from someone else) have me convinced that it's safer to keep my feelings subdued and just...be lonely.
I love it!
Thank you so much!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yeeeeeeeeessss!
I agree wholeheartedly Anna!
Thanks for supporting the channel!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yeah I've been a mess forever. I had the best wife in the world but I couldn't be intimate with her because I was hanging on to her for dear life trying to get from her what my mother didn't give me. So after twenty years, she left.
Shortly after my wife left, I got into this nightmare of a relationship where she and I projected our insecurities all over each other. She was exactly my narcissistic mother and I knew I was in danger right from the get go. And I don't think I liked her at all yet I loved her and the sex was amazing. Really strange dichotomy. It was just an awful five years of cheating and lying on both parts. It's something that she started though. Once she cheated on me, it seemed like it became a game of one upsmanship as I kept trying to heal my hurt through finding another partner to take away the pain. I don't even recognize who I was with her. Really strange. I was nothing like that with my wife.
We both suffered childhood ptsd so it was probably a disaster in the waiting
💯 %🙌
Whats considered slow. 6months 1 year, 2years??..I hear this all the time without much clarification.
Ah, I talk about this in the course, but I guess left it out of this post! You get to decide what slow is; I think a year is enough time to make a commitment. And it's not just having the commitment, it's having ALL that communication that happens when you can't bandage-over everything weird with sex. What's your opinion?
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Is that something that CPTSD sufferers do? Bandage-over communication issues with sex? I have noticed that pattern in myself too. Didn't know it was related to CPTSD but it makes sense that it would be.
18 months i think was the old fashioned way wasn't it?
I've never rushed into romance...I've been actually very slow and have second-guessed me a lot in the past. I think slow doesn't work for me. Not that I have to rush into anything, but taking things too slowly has been for me probably the reason why my attempts at relationships have failed. The potential partner simply lost patience with me.
Glad you're here!
OMG!!!This is me.
Yay, you're here!
former house thinks he is the only 1 that is around for me, but that's just not true .I have many available to me
real love
real friends...
thank you helpful people who love..helped me. all week..
Glad you found us!
-Cara@TeamFairy
This is an old video so this probably won't be seen but I struggle with taking things slow because if it's not working with someone and I want to have another child, there isn't a whole lot of time to figure it all out. I feel like I put too much pressure on men so I have just given up altogether. It feels like my needs don't matter unless someone else wants me. I can meet my own needs and not have someone make me feel ashamed about it or having to play games to keep the "mystery."
You would be a perfect candidate for my Dating and Relationships course. If you haven't yet, you might want to check it out at courses.crappychildhoodfairy.com.
I will check it out.
How can i prevent my children from getting Cptsd? We have been living with a sociopath who mistreated them so much and I am worried about the outcome
Hi Pat, it's hard to know from this little message what you mean by "mistreated", but if your kids are being abused, then it's time to get them out of there. To do this safely, I encourage you to get support from police, a shelter or counselor without delay!
What about being attracted to that person . ? How does that work? I was married for 24 years (3 adult children) and our sex life was no fun, i tried for years to show him what I needed and he wouldn't so I asked a man if he knew what he was doing with a woman and he said he would rock my world , and he did. For 8 years but I had no idea it was a trauma bond and that he was a narcissist I CAN DO THIS emotional rollercoaster because i needed to physically feel wanted . I still miss how he feels , our bodies, I grew so much, but he started using marijuana and i wasn't doing that path again as my husband was a user, I became done. I am sad and i hate fooling around and won't just sleep with any one for sex. Sheesh. This is really frustrating .
How do you fix it in a current situation?
Oh my God will you stop. Lol. This is so me. I am now 60 and on my third marriage,
I’m very good looking mixed person but I never been in a relationship and I’m 23 now ... maybe I’m just better off alone and with my dog lol
How do you find your course on structured dating?
crappychildhoodfairy.com/
courses on dating and relationships on this website :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Why is she being pg13? Im not offended by a deeper discussion.
She means RUclips will censor her otherwise.
❤️👍🏾
This is a good video. I prefer sex flings and push away good relationship people because of the pain of losing someone who might be good. So I push them away. After watching this video I have decided to ask out this girl who is really sweet.
What to do if your partner has an enormous fear of intimacy and paralyses during sex?
How to leave and release them after bonded?
With healing! crappychildhoodfairy.com/lp/daily-practice
I waited to have sex with my ex until we were in love and he still turned out to be a covert narc sociopath who cheated with multiple people and emotionally and mentally abused me. However, I'm a Christian and know I need to wait until marriage anyway. I'm going to take the valuable lessons from that relationship
and never again compromise on my values again. There's too much risk to my emotional well being otherwise.
AND NEVER USE THE INTERNET..... massively bad for cptsd people
Yes, so many things about the internet -- the habit, the loss of real life connections, the content and the outrage factory. You are so right.
Crappy Childhood Fairy they also tell lots of lies. 😏
Yep.
Spent my entire childhood isolated in my room on the internet. It was my only escape.
Moe E I meant specifically to meet men. I spend all day on it too, absolutely is a life saver. But just don’t meet people on there. 😃
I’m not willing to put up with
Oops, looks like your message posted before you completed the thought..
I’ll just throw away premarital sex all at once lol, I know where my trigger is, I am smart about it. Red pill community and manosphere may be misogynistic and hyper vigilant, but I managed to kick the toxic part out of it. By far I’m still a virgin, but when people ask me why have you date so many girls and haven’t slept with them, like why do you still hold your v card? I am nonchalant about those thing.
Will this comment go through
I see you commented :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I don't like that just because you suffer with CPTSD you get labeled as faulty. We have good reasons for being how we are. Being nomal what is nomal? ? No one is perfect everyone has some sort of hang up of some kind. The thing I believe why so many people get in bad relationship is they just want to feel safe and loved. I have watched people for many years some mistake sex as they are being loved specially when Sexual Abuse at a very early age. Depending on the person I have watched siblings and others do this because to something is better than nothing, it has fascinated me for years watching them changing from partner to partner only to end up in the same sort of relationship. I have remained single as I don't trust anyone that walks this earth. I did have a brief relationship a few years ago with a amazing man timing was wrong and what you said I pushed him away as I didn't trust how he was towards me as a life time of abuse does that to you and I didn't feel I was good enough for him either his happiness was more important to me than my own. I don't regret it as I did right by him and I will always have the memories of our time together that I will always treasure at least I got to feel it at least once in my life and I am grateful to have experienced it.
That's your own self-inflicting labelling, normal people don't call others faulty. Everybody has things to deal with.
As a MGTOW man, I'd love to find that ONE person but these days it's too dangerous for men with how women are and the courts are stacked against men. All a woman has to do is accuse a man of wrong doing, whether true or not, and hes screwed.
It's safer for men in general to just walk away from relationships and women in general
No sex before marriage! Do it right or don't do it at all. You'll be sorry!
Agreed.
You can’t have opinions on how others choose to live their lives. It’s their lives to do as they choose. I don’t believe in marriage as it’s a man made illusion I only believe in nature so should I never have sex?
I'm my 53 years of life experience I truly believe premarital sex is one of the most destructive things that can happen to men and women.
I totally agree.