5 Ways We Live Unconventionally + Nontraditionally in Marriage

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  • Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024

Комментарии • 87

  • @suzetteoosthuizen1446
    @suzetteoosthuizen1446 Год назад +19

    "Every marriage is its own culture, and even within it, mystery is the environment." Richard Hell.
    Just read this and had to share: your marriage is a prime example. Stay blessed 😊

  • @danieladeutsch1708
    @danieladeutsch1708 Год назад +12

    Amen you two! Sleeping in two different beds saves relationships! Btw. about the children - I am 45, divorced, no children and people are constantly asking me, why I don´t have any....why is nobody asking them: Why DO YOU HAVE ANY? :) Thank you for this video, love my Mermaid and her Mermaid-man! XX

  • @nicklegg61
    @nicklegg61 Год назад +12

    Nothing is incorrect. Live and let live.

  • @TJ-kz1ul
    @TJ-kz1ul Год назад +10

    This was so refreshing. I have been married for 24 years on May 15th. We bought a home 2 years into our marriage and we still live here. The house is paid off and we have no debt. We worked extremely hard to get to this point, and it does help that we live in a cheaper area of the world. I wanted to comment on your 2nd point. Although we have not done this, it appeals to me at times. My husband has to work very hard to support us and our two kids. He is an accountant and basically, that is the equivalent of a full-time plus a part-time job. He comes home some days exhausted. I work part-time as well, but my main job is to be a homemaker, which I love. This also makes his home life easier as he comes home to much of the housework, cooking, etc already done. However, when I hear you and your husband talking about the no-strings attached to one place....if I could live my life over again I would consider this. Especially with how the cost of living has skyrocketed. I just hate seeing my husband have to work so hard and I do everything I can to help support him and make things as easy for him as I can, but it wears on both of us physically and mentally.
    p.s.--we've slept in separate beds for about 18 years lol he snores like a steam engine and apparently I am a bed hog. We are still happily married =)

  • @lynn9935
    @lynn9935 Год назад +10

    Helena I love that you are so true to yourself. I am learning to be more so by reading your wonderful book. Marriage is a union of two souls. . . no symbols needed. Your wear your rings around your hearts. 😗

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад +1

      Awwww!! “Wear your rings around your hearts” 😭😭🥰🥰 that is the sweetest thing ever! I adore this. Thank you for sharing your love with me!

  • @Michelle-bk5uq
    @Michelle-bk5uq Год назад +10

    You two have such a great energy together. Individuals choosing each other on the daily is a healthy relationship.

  • @oxanakoritsas1944
    @oxanakoritsas1944 Год назад +6

    Hey, my dear kindred spirit. I whole heartedly agree with your mindset and I totally believe in letting go of unnecessary attachments and stereotypes identity. Just like going to the church on Sunday doesn’t make you a Christian. What value and purpose we follow daily - that’s what matters the most. A pleasure to see you and Alex being so connected and so in tuned with one another. Two beautiful free spirits living human experience together. Big hugs and lots of love to you both from UK. Oxana xxx 😁❤️🙌🏼☘️

  • @nicklegg61
    @nicklegg61 Год назад +4

    Helena I love your spirit for life.
    Living life is amazing.
    Personally if you are rich financially or you have no money I treat the human race exactly the same.
    Nothing financially impresses me.
    what a subject Living life is.MASSIVE.
    I will stop at this moment because if I start I won't stop,and I have to do the washing up.OH DEAR MY HUMOR.
    PEACE.
    NICK

  • @sakinastraveldiary4562
    @sakinastraveldiary4562 Год назад +3

    We both own a place that we bought before getting married, we may not necessarily retire there. But it's just a backup. I would suggest doing that because you don't want to pay rent when you are older. You don't have to take a loan to buy a small place somewhere. Do it when you have some money saved up which you don't need for daily life expenses.

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад +1

      Why not pay rent? I know plenty of adults in their 50s/60s that don’t want to own and are happy paying rent. It’s not for everybody.

    • @sakinastraveldiary4562
      @sakinastraveldiary4562 Год назад +3

      @@helenawoods because I consider paying rent a waste of money 😂
      I don't want to waste money on rent which I might need for healthcare and I would not want to prioritize anything over my health especially at that age!! This can only be a discussion when you have enough money saved up for buying a property before that this discussion is pointless.
      Also those 50-60 year old adults might not have enough money to buy a place upfront or never had! You don't know people's financial situation. Sometimes people are happy renting only because they cannot afford buying!!

  • @yuliamargolin7856
    @yuliamargolin7856 Год назад +6

    I absolutely love your openness and that both of you think unconventional! Oh and I totally share your views on everything: wedding rings, travel, sleep, moving around the world. My husband is very conventional, it is so rare to find people here who are less programmed by the society.

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад

      Totally!! So happy to share! 🥰🤗

  • @lindascheffer1973
    @lindascheffer1973 Год назад +3

    Why buy wedding rings if you aren’t interested in wearing one? Couldn’t you have skipped it completely if you didn’t feel it was something you value?

  • @BlueAngel-ci9zm
    @BlueAngel-ci9zm Год назад +1

    First of all I love your videos just to my taste. I'm also a Taurus in my horoscope :D I like your stories and your Venus energy, you're far more creative than other RUclipsrs. Second, you and your husband are a very cute couple and you can tell from the plane that you are very compatible. Greetings from Bosnia :)

  • @everydayprojector
    @everydayprojector Год назад +5

    Love your relationship so much, kindred spirits! Stay authentic to your own path. We waste so much time and energy trying to live up to other people's expectations and examples instead of finding out what might really make us happy, and taking the leap into that life. I'm glad you've discovered that none of that matters. I never wore a wedding band either (my ex-husband and I eloped and actually never even got wedding bands for 12 years). Funnily, the feedback I always got was other women asking me if it bothered me that he didn't wear one. It literally never did. Not once. People are so insecure in general, I honestly couldn't care less, lol. Love these sit downs, hope you're both well. I'm loving your book!

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад +1

      I love that!!! 💕😍 And totally agree with you! Isn’t it curious how easy it is for people to project their fears / desires onto others? It’s always so interesting to me. Love that you did your own thing! 👏 thank you for all the love and encouragement! 🤗🤗🤗 big hugs to you!

  • @suzetteoosthuizen1446
    @suzetteoosthuizen1446 Год назад +3

    I just love you guys and your open mindedness. You are such an inspiration and beautiful couple. Stay blessed

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад

      Aw thank you Suzette! So kind and generous of you to say 🥰

  • @MeditationTea
    @MeditationTea Год назад +4

    Love Alex's wisdom! When you were both discussing getting a home and he elaborated that difference in what freedom means to different people. It's so true! I am a bit of both. I LOVE travel and have been an expat in different countries for the last 10 years. But in recent years, I yearn for the grounding that a stable home of my own provides for me. My perfect combination would be to have that anchor in my home and travel whenever I want always coming back to my sanctuary! This feels like freedom to me! Great video!

    • @ms1295
      @ms1295 Год назад +1

      Where in the world would you like to have your home base? As I’m giving up my current apartment, I’m wondering where it would feel like home…

    • @MeditationTea
      @MeditationTea Год назад +1

      @@ms1295 I'm currently an expat in Split, Croatia and i just LOVE my life here! I would love to stay here. But I also dream of owning property in Florida to rent out and live half the year and then live the other half in Europe. That's the plan. Life in Europe has always been easier for me. Perhaps the slower pace and definitely lower cost of living. Where are you from?

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад

      He’s such an intelligent man! Always learning so much from him 🥰

  • @beverleyroberts1025
    @beverleyroberts1025 Год назад +3

    I love yours and Alex's relationship. It's what makes you happy, not what's expected of you! I think your energies really compliment each other. And a good night's sleep 😴 definitely your own bed, there's nothing like it! x 😚

  • @MamaCocaSF
    @MamaCocaSF Год назад +2

    At some point of your life you’ll want to settle down somewhere. Would be hard to imagine 60-70 y.o. couple moving around the world every couple of years 😅

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад +3

      Sure, in our 60s we’ll rent a place and settle somewhere haha. I’m in my 20s. Not really thinking about where I’m going to retire just yet ;)

    • @MamaCocaSF
      @MamaCocaSF Год назад +1

      Fair enough 😊

  • @septembergirl7766
    @septembergirl7766 Год назад +2

    Great video, very inspiring. Thank you for sharing, both of you.❤

  • @KristenMelissa
    @KristenMelissa Год назад +2

    That fairy light was so Beautiful! ✨️ I just love how in tune you two are with each other and I see that you respect and trust each other so much. The energy is beautiful! As usual, I feel we are such kindred spirits! We also have no plans for a mortgage or to settle down and only dream of/ intend to travel long term. We also have no interest in having kids either. My wedding ring was $27. A simple sterling silver with tiny etched on flowers. I love it and picked it out myself! I also picked out my labradorite engagement ring which was only $70. We do enjoy wearing our rings, it feels special. 💕 But they are inexpensive and easily replaceable. And I'll be honest- I get the Best sleep whenever my husband is out of town. We have such different sleep patterns! I think most people would be so well rested and happy if they slept separately. I love that you embrace that and have no insecurity about it! Good sleep is just so crucial. I really love this video and hearing both of your perspectives! 💖

  • @DheandraNicolette
    @DheandraNicolette 8 месяцев назад

    This video is so refreshing! Thank you for sharing your POV. As someone who is single but imagines a marriage that’s a little more unconventional, I loved hearing that it’s quite possible to meet other people who share similar views!

  • @MoniquefromTheNetherlands
    @MoniquefromTheNetherlands Год назад +1

    It's so wonderful to see you both living the life you want and not what society thinks you should live 😊💖

  • @carmensloh9825
    @carmensloh9825 3 месяца назад

    When my boyfriend and I attended events, we attracted a lot of attention. This is because we are a couple while others at the event were singles or they came alone. Some single women like to chat with him even though I was right there beside him. One even passed him a mineral water bottle for him to open for her when in fact, the bottle's seal was already opened. He found her behaviour annoying and disrespectful toward me. And my divorced neighbour tried to chat him up when I wasnt around. He hastily told her he was in a hurry. It is abrupt to tell these women "are you flirting with my man? Hands off!" So we bought cheap wedding bands with the intention to wear at social events. Now that we are engaged, I have an engagement ring to deter such women.

  • @barbaras5874
    @barbaras5874 3 месяца назад

    I love you guys, you are so cute together and so authentic! ❤

  • @danielcreveuil9811
    @danielcreveuil9811 Год назад +1

    Nice smart adorable couple. Love your channel... Pls continue 👌🙏 From Menton, border city with Italy... ❤

  • @bellafiore3283
    @bellafiore3283 Год назад +1

    Excellent very realistic. Communicating is so key.

  • @caseyhassall9491
    @caseyhassall9491 Год назад

    How do you find places so easily to rent and move in? I find it’s so difficult and different in Australia 😂 Like do you do normal rentals or is it long term air bnbs? Would be super helpful to know ☺️💕

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад

      I don't know what it's like in Australia. But in France, we rent. Not airbnbs. We find them on a site called Leboincoin, which is like Craigslist. Apartments are often furnished and the rentals are yearly. Some places are seasonally rented (September - June). It's easy here in France! It has been very simple for us to find apartments since we moved abroad. Way easier to find places than in the U.S.A.

  • @margothattingh5911
    @margothattingh5911 Год назад

    I love your videos, have a slightly alternative perception of choosing not to have a permanent home of some sort. I have lived as a traveller when I was younger and married, but now I’m older, single - love and depend on my tiny, intimate community of friends that I can get together with IRL whenever we want.
    Extended trips away are treasured, but love coming ‘home’ to my circle.
    It’s wonderful that you’re conscious and relishing this season of your lives - santé🎉

  • @michellemachesney1487
    @michellemachesney1487 Год назад

    i loved this video!
    i would love to hear about uranus in 2025! i love to hear both of your ideas on things!
    ive (unintentionally) not lived in most places for more than 4yrs, i lived in the same area for 5 years in my adolescent schooling, but not the same house, the longest place i lived somewhere was the same house i grew up in for elementary school, but now ive lived in my current place for 5 yrs but didnt intend to be here so long! ive enjoyed the places ive lived though and want to see more places!
    i also love the ideas of work visas like NZ!
    in human design (i’m a projector) & i’ve heard about the pros of sleeping separately (im single tho)😆 ive also not wanted kids or a mortgage 😆

  • @Bonnieuxful
    @Bonnieuxful Год назад

    Jesus loves you two soooo much❣️🥰💕🙏🏻🙏🏻💕💕💕💕💕💕

  • @nancyesposito1020
    @nancyesposito1020 Год назад

    Love this video! My husband and I were living in the same house for twenty years and just felt stuck! So we just moved from New Jersey to Maine and it's the best thing we could have done! De-cluttering everything moving from a house to an apartment has been so amazing! It just feels like a totally new life! We also made the decision not to have children we both knew it early in our marriage! No regrets yet after 26 years! I wish we had thought sooner about moving and not staying in the same place! It's very stressful to work so many hours just to pay for a house and taxes! I think you guys are smart and very wise for your age! Having the freedom to move every couple years to a different place and experiencing all the things that you learned from travel is just amazing! I love the sit-down with Alex videos!

  • @Karen-nq8du
    @Karen-nq8du Год назад

    Thank you for this, Helena and Alex. It's interesting that we even have "conventional" and "unconventional" in our society. Convention is really just a belief system. We had a house and mortgage for many years and when we sold and started renting it was going to be "temporary" until we got our bearings. We've been so happy renting that buying became unappealing. We'll deal with the future as it unfolds. There's no real "security" in the infrastructure of the world anyways. Love and hugs to you both. xo karen

  • @Prizzy999
    @Prizzy999 Год назад

    Never been married but I had a 10 yr relationship, never had a ring and never asked for one. In Italy you don't have to be officially engaged or married to wear a ring, having a relationship is enough to wear one if you wish, to show you're "taken" 😂 and like you guys, I live the way I want & feel and I'm 52. Don't wanna settle down and as long as I'm healthy enough to move and live places I will, I wanna feel free from mortgages myself.
    My next home will be extremely minimalist, I am getting too lazy to even think about dusting weekly and mop floors daily 😅

  • @wendyplear82
    @wendyplear82 Год назад

    I love y’all together!! 🎉 you challenge my 51 years that I’ve been living and I welcome it! It’s a beauty thing!

  • @ilianaboheme
    @ilianaboheme Год назад

    You guys are the best! Thanks for sharing! 💕

  • @FrolickingandFree
    @FrolickingandFree Год назад

    I LOVE this conversation!

  • @Soapydishpotatoes
    @Soapydishpotatoes Год назад

    British men aren’t like Alex 😭😭😭😭😭

  • @LiveFree123
    @LiveFree123 Год назад

    Absolutely loved this! ❤💙

  • @CrystleDragon
    @CrystleDragon Год назад

    I don't travel, but I really get the part about wanting flexibility with your home. I can't afford a different place, and love where I live, but I never want to feel forced or trapped into living anywhere, which is what I think I'd feel if I had a more permanent home.
    I also relate to liking kids but not wanting them. Really, everything you two mentioned in this video resonated with me in some way. I'm single right now, so it's not like I can *completely* relate, but I hope I can find someone as fitting for me as you two are for each other. I'm glad for you guys :)

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад +1

      ❤️❤️❤️ this made me so happy!! So wonderful to connect with you. It’s hard to find kindred spirits who are so similar honestly!! Sending you so much magic!

  • @melindaferreira9879
    @melindaferreira9879 Год назад

    Haven't couples traditionally slept separately? Like in different rooms or in twin beds in the same room? I'm talking in past eras... So.. I can see the reasoning for sure.. to each their own..

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад

      I’m not sure! But that sounds amazing! They knew what they were doing - it’s a great lifestyle 🥰

  • @breatheinsimple5369
    @breatheinsimple5369 Год назад

    We don't wear our rings either 😊

  • @ms1295
    @ms1295 Год назад

    You two are an inspiration! I’ve always rented up till now, but at times I wonder if having my own dwelling somewhere (even if very modest) would give me greater peace of mind as I’m getting older and might not be able to earn enough to cover increasing housing costs in the future. What are your thoughts?

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад

      I can’t say! I don’t know enough about the housing market. I would recommend asking your intuition (writing or communing with it) and notice which feels like an answer of peace and relief.

  • @chrisoulalakkas7935
    @chrisoulalakkas7935 Год назад

    Peace of mind is priceless.

  • @jennabonnichsen
    @jennabonnichsen Год назад

    You two are cute as a button!!

  • @persephone213
    @persephone213 Год назад

    I can definitely relate to some of these, especially the one about not having children-I literally got my tubes removed to ensure it wouldn’t happen! We’re also working on selling our house now to have more freedom to travel and less financial obligations. As for the wedding rings, I do wear mine when I leave the house mostly because they’re a pretty good creepy guy repellent! 😂

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад +1

      Love this Amber! 😍 Alex has had a intro appointment for that and we’re seriously considering it - giving it a few more years to think about. And yes - That’s so true! It’s a great repellent!

  • @viridianacarreon7203
    @viridianacarreon7203 Год назад

    Happy Sunday to you two😘😘

  • @tanja6271
    @tanja6271 Год назад

    It`s a perfect match😃

  • @andreahuss3156
    @andreahuss3156 Год назад

    Beautiful ❤

  • @msseasailor5731
    @msseasailor5731 Год назад

    Helena-in good time, yes you want 2 children

  • @soulful_poetry
    @soulful_poetry Год назад

    Just ❤

  • @justadudeintheworldman.120
    @justadudeintheworldman.120 Год назад

    Thought you lost an arm. Good to see that’s not the case

  • @MamaCocaSF
    @MamaCocaSF Год назад

    Alex, you still don’t want kids with Helena?

  • @StephanieJoRountree
    @StephanieJoRountree Год назад +1

    One day when you are older, you will regret not having children.

    • @bibipey9854
      @bibipey9854 Год назад +15

      I disagree. I hold people in high regard who know this about themselves. Not everyone wants children and that is truly okay.

    • @jessica0321
      @jessica0321 Год назад +8

      I have been told (threatened) this my entire life. I chose to not have kids and am very grateful I didn't do something as life-altering as having kids out of fear or guilt (and other peoples' projections), because I am very happy and still do not want to have kids (I have never had the want or urge). I am 41. This outdated way of thinking needs to not be projected on others. To each their own.

    • @StephanieJoRountree
      @StephanieJoRountree Год назад

      @@jessica0321 At 41, you're still just a puppy. I stand by my words.

    • @StephanieJoRountree
      @StephanieJoRountree Год назад

      @@bibipey9854 To each his/her own; however, when they are in their 70s or 80s, they will get it.

    • @helenawoods
      @helenawoods  Год назад +2

      Lol!