I lost all my closest friends during my last dealings with psychosis. Everyone kept thinking it was drug abuse no matter how many times I would tell them it wasn't. They didn't understand that I was litterally losing my battle with my mind and that I needed meds and support of knowing they were there to actually help me and not just trying to toss me into a rehab. Sadly that didn't happen. I became isolated which made the psychosis worse. Then my family kept calling the sheriffs on me to get me be involuntarily committed. Then that happend. And before that I had an ex come back into my life just to use me and make the psychosis that much worse. She liked untreated me because she could get what she wanted out of me and then just leave by coming up with a random problem and blamed me for it. It was a nightmare that I am so surprised I made it out of.
@@thenomothete oh no, I’m so sorry that all happened to you & the people in your life weren’t supportive. It is such a shame that people wouldn’t be there for you the way you needed them.
@@Psychotic.in.Seattle It's ok though. I recovered. I got better. I kept going till I had a better life. It helped make me far stronger than I could have imagined. Now my life is far better and I did the work to make it better. Now I know anyone can do the same if they apply effort and have faith in themselves. I see myself as amazing now and that same sort of amazing is in all of us. We can all recover from our mental illnesses and live better lives. :) I'm living proof
I'm having a really hard time because something traumatic happened to me as an adolescent which sent my mind into a state of delusional self beliefs. This lead me on a very complex and complicated path in life. Very dangerous, and extremely weird. Almost every morning I'd wake up and I'd need about an hour to ruminate over the previous day, sifting and sorting my memory. I'd often get reminded, via a friend or a text, things that I said or did. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, perplexed, and I'd apologize over and over. This was on repeat for YEARS. Schizophrenia is something I don't wish on anyone, ever. It's confusing, debilitating, embarrassing and I have a very hard time - now that I'm aware - deciphering who I really am.
This was an awesome video. And I think you are awesome for sharing all of it. For me during psychosis my auditory hallucinations caused me to self-harm really badly and that's the only thing that I've really done To hurt myself and those around me. You always make me feel less alone in my struggle and you do such a service to everyone out there who suffers like we do and I really appreciate that.
Great video and so ironic... I just started a new job recently and although I'm a night worker I have to train on 1st shift. Bc of this I'm not sleeping so it's been quite a ridiculous week. Starting a new stressful job with paranoia and panic attacks is wonderful...
@Psychotic.in.Seattle omg yes... it is! I will , you take care too! I'm trying to come up with ideas for video topics to suggest for you but it's hard lol.
I asked my first husband why he never thought I was mentally unstable, and he also said "I thought it was cute" - I don't think people understand the horror that lies beneath masking as an attempt to appear normal.
Oh man. I had told three guy friends I liked them (I only liked one and now he thinks I am able to communicate with God and animals). And then texted them in a group chat that "one of us had to die and I wasn't it." I thought in my psychosis that I had to kill myself and I didn't want to so texting random guy friends would somehow push that decision off of me... It was sooo painful and I was almost in full denial this all happened last year. Sadly I can't face them due to embarrasment anymore.
@@kitlitmitt oh wow, that sounds so stressful! I’m really glad you didn’t kill yourself. Those explanations we have in psychosis can really confuse things. There are some people I’m too embarrassed to talk to too, it’s hard to live with still.
My ex of 5 years went into psychosis and started live streaming all of the most embarrassing and personal information, opinions and delusions she has about me and all of her friends and fam. It's been a sickening and jaw dropping social suicide that got too hard to watch. Very very difficult to forgive. She spends half the time burning everyone and half the time trying to convince everyone she's Jesus, all while she smokes pot and laughs maniacally. It's so sad and sickening that people have stopped watching. She lost her job and every relationship accept for the imaginary FBI that she knows is watching and she seems to openly flirt with in the streams. I don't know that she can recover from this.
I wanna follow her. I am so glad I did not fucking LIVESTREAM my shit HOLY SHIT. I’m fine now and I quit weed because I know it probably caused it and would make me go back to it! I still have weird odd thoughts but I’ve come to love some of them (the spiritual ones and angel messages) however, The voices I do not love (voices of my ex bf and ex best friend who constantly put me down and destroyed me mentally spiritually and physically)
I hear my ex’s voice saying he’s gonna sue me if I write a book lol! Bold of him to think the book would be about him… lol our story was special (in one good way and MANY bad ways) but nobody needs to read it
@@Mpxyzm2by oh wow! That is so specific! Some of mine have been really specific too, like just so detailed that you wouldn’t think it was made up by your mind. I had a hallucination that my sister told me something really crass and it astonished me. If I hadn’t asked her about it years later, I’d still think she really said it because it seemed like there was no way my mind would hallucinate a sentence like that.
I know right from wrong but I know I'm not the person I should be i.e. I'm insane. I told someone at the clinic I'm getting help I'm a psychopath. It was my way of asking for help. I am a great actor and I can fool most doctors. If the doctor is old(experienced ) I am aware in her presence that I'm seen through. I don't want to do anything wrong. I'm safe and I don't mind the question if I am. I have an intellect and it should give hope to people insane that yes you can read.
(All those face piercing - it's quite difficult to look at them... like looking at wounds... it's really "piercing"... it's not a question of "nice" or "ugly"... please, consider...)
@@carlystinson8892 Since she wants people to watch her channel, I think it's a very important feedback! I'm sure she's not aware to the feeling it evokes in her viewers.
@@carlystinson8892 Since she wants people to watch her channel, I think it's a very valuable feedback. I guess she's not aware to the feeling it evokes in (some of) her viewers. (It = the piercing, of course.)
You are stunning. Thank you for speaking out! I wish more people talked about these things…
As always relatable 😊
I lost all my closest friends during my last dealings with psychosis. Everyone kept thinking it was drug abuse no matter how many times I would tell them it wasn't. They didn't understand that I was litterally losing my battle with my mind and that I needed meds and support of knowing they were there to actually help me and not just trying to toss me into a rehab. Sadly that didn't happen. I became isolated which made the psychosis worse. Then my family kept calling the sheriffs on me to get me be involuntarily committed. Then that happend. And before that I had an ex come back into my life just to use me and make the psychosis that much worse. She liked untreated me because she could get what she wanted out of me and then just leave by coming up with a random problem and blamed me for it. It was a nightmare that I am so surprised I made it out of.
@@thenomothete oh no, I’m so sorry that all happened to you & the people in your life weren’t supportive. It is such a shame that people wouldn’t be there for you the way you needed them.
@@Psychotic.in.Seattle It's ok though. I recovered. I got better. I kept going till I had a better life. It helped make me far stronger than I could have imagined. Now my life is far better and I did the work to make it better. Now I know anyone can do the same if they apply effort and have faith in themselves. I see myself as amazing now and that same sort of amazing is in all of us. We can all recover from our mental illnesses and live better lives. :) I'm living proof
I'm having a really hard time because something traumatic happened to me as an adolescent which sent my mind into a state of delusional self beliefs. This lead me on a very complex and complicated path in life. Very dangerous, and extremely weird. Almost every morning I'd wake up and I'd need about an hour to ruminate over the previous day, sifting and sorting my memory. I'd often get reminded, via a friend or a text, things that I said or did. I felt embarrassed, ashamed, perplexed, and I'd apologize over and over. This was on repeat for YEARS.
Schizophrenia is something I don't wish on anyone, ever. It's confusing, debilitating, embarrassing and I have a very hard time - now that I'm aware - deciphering who I really am.
Great video as usual! thank you so much!
This was an awesome video. And I think you are awesome for sharing all of it. For me during psychosis my auditory hallucinations caused me to self-harm really badly and that's the only thing that I've really done To hurt myself and those around me. You always make me feel less alone in my struggle and you do such a service to everyone out there who suffers like we do and I really appreciate that.
I relate to your story so much!
Great video and so ironic... I just started a new job recently and although I'm a night worker I have to train on 1st shift. Bc of this I'm not sleeping so it's been quite a ridiculous week. Starting a new stressful job with paranoia and panic attacks is wonderful...
@@cre8ivelife554 oof!! That sounds stressful!! I hope it goes well. Take good care of yourself when you can, and good luck.
@Psychotic.in.Seattle omg yes... it is! I will , you take care too! I'm trying to come up with ideas for video topics to suggest for you but it's hard lol.
Thank you for explaining the consequences of actions under psychosis 😊
I asked my first husband why he never thought I was mentally unstable, and he also said "I thought it was cute" - I don't think people understand the horror that lies beneath masking as an attempt to appear normal.
Oh man. I had told three guy friends I liked them (I only liked one and now he thinks I am able to communicate with God and animals). And then texted them in a group chat that "one of us had to die and I wasn't it." I thought in my psychosis that I had to kill myself and I didn't want to so texting random guy friends would somehow push that decision off of me... It was sooo painful and I was almost in full denial this all happened last year. Sadly I can't face them due to embarrasment anymore.
@@kitlitmitt oh wow, that sounds so stressful! I’m really glad you didn’t kill yourself. Those explanations we have in psychosis can really confuse things. There are some people I’m too embarrassed to talk to too, it’s hard to live with still.
Sending good vibes ur way 💓 I’m so sorry that happened. I embarrassed myself in psychosis too…
Ive been so humiliated. I can't bare to go back to a lot of places.
@@genesis631 I feel you, it is so humiliating. There are still a lot of people & places I avoid too.
My ex of 5 years went into psychosis and started live streaming all of the most embarrassing and personal information, opinions and delusions she has about me and all of her friends and fam. It's been a sickening and jaw dropping social suicide that got too hard to watch. Very very difficult to forgive. She spends half the time burning everyone and half the time trying to convince everyone she's Jesus, all while she smokes pot and laughs maniacally. It's so sad and sickening that people have stopped watching. She lost her job and every relationship accept for the imaginary FBI that she knows is watching and she seems to openly flirt with in the streams. I don't know that she can recover from this.
I wanna follow her. I am so glad I did not fucking LIVESTREAM my shit HOLY SHIT. I’m fine now and I quit weed because I know it probably caused it and would make me go back to it! I still have weird odd thoughts but I’ve come to love some of them (the spiritual ones and angel messages) however, The voices I do not love (voices of my ex bf and ex best friend who constantly put me down and destroyed me mentally spiritually and physically)
I think psychosis or not we have done some doozies in life! I know I have❤
I hear my ex’s voice saying he’s gonna sue me if I write a book lol! Bold of him to think the book would be about him… lol our story was special (in one good way and MANY bad ways) but nobody needs to read it
@@Mpxyzm2by oh wow! That is so specific! Some of mine have been really specific too, like just so detailed that you wouldn’t think it was made up by your mind. I had a hallucination that my sister told me something really crass and it astonished me. If I hadn’t asked her about it years later, I’d still think she really said it because it seemed like there was no way my mind would hallucinate a sentence like that.
@@Psychotic.in.Seattle it’s insane, mine is like that so often. I wish there were meds that worked that didn’t flatten my affect so completely.
@@Mpxyzm2by oof! Yeah I hear ya. I’m like a zombie the first few months that I’m on a new med.
I know right from wrong but I know I'm not the person I should be i.e. I'm insane. I told someone at the clinic I'm getting help I'm a psychopath. It was my way of asking for help. I am a great actor and I can fool most doctors. If the doctor is old(experienced ) I am aware in her presence that I'm seen through. I don't want to do anything wrong. I'm safe and I don't mind the question if I am. I have an intellect and it should give hope to people insane that yes you can read.
Why are you a small channel? Not a bigger channel?
@@tragedy_723_latviski oh idk, that would be nice if it happened but I think I’m still starting out.
Being familiar with "episodes" your stance lacks accountability.
(All those face piercing - it's quite difficult to look at them... like looking at wounds... it's really "piercing"... it's not a question of "nice" or "ugly"... please, consider...)
Rude. No one asked
@@carlystinson8892
Since she wants people to watch her channel, I think it's a very important feedback!
I'm sure she's not aware to the feeling it evokes in her viewers.
@@carlystinson8892
Since she wants people to watch her channel, I think it's a very valuable feedback.
I guess she's not aware to the feeling it evokes in (some of) her viewers. (It = the piercing, of course.)