How Masculine is Too Masculine?
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- Опубликовано: 10 окт 2014
- Guys who puff out their chests and crush your hand upon introduction - know one?
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I'm a woman, and I hate it when guys give me a flimsy handshake. I don't expect them to rip my arm off, but nothing is worse than a limp-wristed greeting; Guys, if you want to make an impression on a woman, give her a firm handshake!
There you have it folks!
According to body language stuff I've read, men (and women) with a soft / limp handshake tend to be more submissive / shy / lacking in confidence / like to be taken care of, or it could be a sign of having low energy levels in general. The stronger the handshake the more energy they have and the more important it is for them to dominate / be in control. And painfully strong handshakes can be a sign of a person with tendencies towards being a bit aggressive. If someone feels the need to take it too far and vice grip your hand, I'd say they're overcompensating for a lack of confidence in how dominant / important / in control they feel of a situation.
Interesting - that makes a lot of sense.
I've gotten a lot of bone-crushing handshakes before, especially in the church. What's worse is I'm the piano player, so I can't be getting my hand messed up just by greeting my neighbor. What I'll do sometimes is tuck my ring finger into my palm. The knuckle in between our hand keeps them from getting too hard a grip. And it confuses them in a hilarious way.
Ha, yeah, that's gotta be awkward!
The fact that your back makes me so happy!
Thank you so much for returning :D. I really enjoy your talks
Glad you're back!!
it's so cool that you're back. Looking forward to the next one already :)
Glad your back!
So glad I stayed subscribed, definitely worth the wait
I am so happy that you are back!!!!
Its good to see you back in action dude... Love the layed back down to earth content. Keep it up !
Nice to have you back!
we missed you. thank you for coming back.
so glad you're back :)
great video, happy you're back!
Welcome back man.
At long last! Good to have you back Matt :)
Glad you're back dude, missed you. Still funny as ever keep up the great work ^.^
Love your videos Matt! Welcome back😊
Matt is back!!!
You're such a good story teller, you always keep my 100% attention
Good to see you, Matt!
Hey Matt glad to have you back making videos, welcome back and cool video, always liked the topic you come out with
Good to have you back :)
Interesting topic, great to see you doing videos again! :)
Welcome back!!!
Well, I had a stroke when I was 3 months old, that affected my right side. Everything is pretty much "normal", except my right hand-- the hand everyone shakes with. So, right from the getgo, I can't squeeze too well or I sometimes miss their hand entirely. People need to forget masculine and feminine and just treat everyone with respect, without trying to one up another,
I liked this video, new and refreshing. Nice to see you back on the horse
awesomeeeee :) cant wait for more!
It looks like a good series... keep em coming :D
I love the fact that you are back! And the thing about men deepening their voices when they first meet! So true :)
AWESOME :D Another video from you, keep em coming, this was great :D :D
And Carol's wig haha.
I guess I am the only one who noticed "tressla" back there! I'm glad you are back!
Love your videos Matt, very unique:)
Horray. So glad your doing videos again!!
Hey look who it is! Thanks!
Hope your doing well!! Hope to see you soon Matt Koval
The only guy who ever did that to me when shaking hands was when my ex-girlfriend introduced to me her new boyfriend. I was totally cool with her and her new boyfriend but the dude immediately felt that he needed to compete with me. Kind of felt sorry for the guy. I was not in competition with him.
There are millions of videos on youtube and yet you always know how to come up with something original. That's what makes you the best! Great new material Matt :D
Hey thanks!
Welcome back Matt! Happy to see you back on RUclips! So I was playing football/soccer with a bunch of guys the other day (I'm a girl). At the end someone gave me one of those high-five-shoulder-bump-handshake hybrids that all guys seem to know how to do... It was only then that I realised I have no idea how to execute one, so in my panic I grasped his hand with a regular business-type handshake and stuttered "Good game!". So. Very. Awkward.
Love the "Tressla" :) Glad you're back Matt!
Also as an added game, you should change something about your office each episode and see who guesses it right. This will also help me with my script supervising skills.
Madeliene Rae Thanks Maddie. Good idea!
Aside from the intensity of the handshake, you can usually tell a lot about a guy if he says "Hi!" and then giggles while putting two fingers to his chin.
Your videos always make me happy! Thanks Matt :-)
1:41 ^^
yo i beg you bring back the fuplers!!! i've rewatched the series like 50 times and it still dosen't get old!!! UNACCTHEPTABLE!!!
Nice! Baby steps. Let me get back into the easier vids first.
Yeah that actually does make sense :) nice to have you back anyway, man!
Thank you for addressing this weird thing men do! I've witnessed my dad do that deeper voice crapola, and it drives me crazy! Haha.
Not sure if this counts as masculinity (it probably teeters closer to vanity) but my brother and his friend work out every single day after work. EVERY SINGLE DAY. I work with them and it's all they talk about. For 8 hours straight. "I can do more muscle ups than you", "Well that's because your form is wrong!", "Hey, Dan, who has harder abs". If there is a line between masculinity and vanity, it's a fine one with these guys.
BTW, always a fan Matt. Keep the vids coming.
Hey Matt I know exactly what you are talking about and I have been thinking about it. I think that for some people the firm handshake is a symbolic gesture of being open and friendly. For other people it could mean that he wants you to remember him. Of course you will remember him when you feel the lingering pain long after the handshake. For me it is a nice opportunity because the next time it is going to be me squeezing the hand and see if the person's face changes to reveal pain.
I've just started watching your videos and you really are brilliant. I love your jokes and just your overall personality. You are funny and from the things you cover I feel like you're a really good person too. I'm a female and I had no idea that men did that to each other. So, I thought this video was insightful. Thank you so much for making this.
Finally some original content on RUclips!!!!!! Loool
im definitely guilty of the handshake .. if i shake your hand, i am attempting to break it
Hi Matt! Good to see you back. I'm def the alpha. :)
I'd like to have a VHS, please...
I second that! My hipster needs haven't been fulfilled!
locoband Excuse me, hipsters don't own VHS thank you. ;)
Matt Koval
Agreed,Betmaxes,or laser disc?
Haha true stuff. Have you heard about having the back of our hand facing upward during a handshake to show your dominance? That can be pretty funny too when it is exagerated.
Interesting - I've experienced that, but never realized it was a dominance thing.
A lot of people in California are more laid back. Growing up on the East coast, it wasn't obvious until I lived out here for a while, but I'd agree that the NY-NJ-PA area has a lot of quick tempered people running adrenaline and testosterone full time.
i find that many people do not know how to give a firm handshake. these are the impressions i get:
flimsy = i hear what you're saying but i'd rather be anywhere but here
vice grip = i'll do all the talking b/c i'm not interested in anything you have to say anyways
Welcome to VA. Now I know where to move.
I've experienced the vice grip a few times; far from being a friendly gesture, it almost makes me want to slug every guy who uses it on me. What's wrong with shaking someone's hand with the same force you'd use to hold a mug? There are many other ways to leave an impression on someone that don't involve trying to break their hand.
I'm all for the firm handshakes, and hell, since I'm a man, I don't mind if there's that like, squeezing contest between two of us, but I am rather small, so of course I can't help it if a very large man does indeed CRUSH my hand, and THAT I don't like. It's pretty obvious large will crush small, so some guys just don't understand if they're taking it too far and actually hurt the other person.
Oh, on another note, women do plenty of things as well to prove they are the "alpha female". For example, between all of my female friends, we do have sort of playful flirting sometimes, and in one example, for instance, 2 of them are Russian. One time one of them wrote her name on my hand, in Russian. As soon as the other friend noticed my hand later that day, she almost IMMEDIATELY went to grab a pen to write HER name on my other hand.
Anyways, love that you're back with more videos :D
lol. Love this guy.
The office is full of references from his previous videos! I see TRESSLA. :))
I went to this church once and the pastor was greeting all the people.. When he got to me, I went to shake his hand. I was not expecting a vice grip from this pastor, but he crushed my hand! Maybe its because I am a guy with hair down to my back.. like "Get out of my church!"
Anyways, great to have you back Matt!
Haha, classic. How's that song go? "And the sign says long-haired-hippy people... need not apply."
Tressla!
Hey man! Missed your short stories. This is great. Keep em coming.
And I think when they get territorial over their girlfriends.. that always annoys me. Like dude, I just wanna be friends with her. I'm not gonna like marry her behind your back.
You know what I noticed?... TRESSLA!!!
Yeah! You win! ;)
Looks like Bill Macklebee saw this video.
I don't squeeze the life out of another mans hand, but I definitely it's solid...
Tressla in the background lol
i do much around with mates and we see who can crush whos hands i usually win
Do another Fuplers video!
Just to be safe when shaking hands with another man, be in the defensive. Flex your hands, keep form and don't leave a space for air. Estimate how big his hands are so you won't crush his hands with yours.
You are one of the most masculine men I know. It's not about muscle, but about aura.
It´s all about the chest hair, baby!
i give a firm hand shake but think i give the right amount of firmness people (mostly trades) have said i give a good hand shake
Yall should check out "the way of men" by jacl donovan. Dude knows his stuff
I think a happy medium is good - not too feminine, but not alpha male either. :) And thanks for posting - looking forward to seeing more new ones Matt :)
When I was a kid in high school I remember the minister for education at the time visited our school to give awards. He was one of those alpha males with an awfully strong handshake. I was getting two awards, so I thought on the second award I would try to match it with a firmer handshake and he nearly broke my hand! I was just a teen girl, it was ridiculous.
I try to adjust my handshake during mid grip so its about even with the other person. The bone crushing ones shock my system that i can't adjust my grip in time.
2:20 Rly missed that track :D
I match the handshake I receive. I live in California so I tend to have to back off fairly often so I don't squish the dead fish I'm shaking. I'm good from that to stopping just after the second cracking sound. I'm alarmed when I feel the pinky bones roll in someones hand. That happens far too often for my comfort and I'm not shaking that firmly when it does happen. I find that the 20 something crowd lack handshake understanding and etiquette. I started on the east coast, in farm country, if that gives you any point of reference.
Maxid1 Good point on matching firmness. Oh and "Alarmed at the feel of the rolling pinky bone" made me lol. Gahh!
Dude, that outro jingle totally sounds like some children's version of Metallica's One.
guys who squeeze too much when shaking my hand make me laugh lol
serious answer to your question - a) football b) virginia c) a handshake can be intended as an offering of peace or unneccessarily used as an agressive act meant to show dominance, yes? Tons of alphas strutting around - funny to watch. What's wrong with a hello and a smile? Did you google "feminine"? Namaste ;-)
that was hilarious
A couple of my bros act like alpha males around women, but around when its just us, they goof off and chillax. It doesn't so much bother me as it just makes me laugh on the inside whenever they pull the switch.
Hahaha, I love this.
"Really?" Hahaha
I'm a small, feminine woman and I've had my hand crushed by some of those guys! Not often, but it happens. I usually yelp and let them know they're squeezing too hard! I think it's partly carelessness and partly jerk-ness.
I always suspected guys were TRYING to make their voice lower sometimes!!
Haha. I don't do anything to try to out-girl another girl, like seriously. Ha!
Exactly! Women don't do anything like that.
Well actually, I do know some who do things like stick out their chest (!) or otherwise. More common than that is making their voice all high and baby-like...
It's rather generalised to say 'men do that' and 'women don't do that', but I personally don't feel the need to assert my femininity (ha ha ha...)
Matt, dude, they do actually do it to women. I had some guys crush my frickin bones while shaking my hands and I think they probably don't even realize just how hard they're doing it. Ouch. Check yourselves. u_u
Sometimes men forget that they shake girls hand and just squeeze it like there's no tomorrow. Why. Whyyy.
there are some women out there who can squeeze the crap out of your hand as well. Welcome back to the east coast! Yay for Virginia!
Do you live on Virginia?
I know what you mean about the firm hand shake, some men try way to hard.
I'm Imasofat, glad to BEEF you.
Like my cousin would say.
"I hope you don't shake my hand like you hold your dick"
Mind you, he's 65 years old lol
Why is this unlisted?
Whoops, thanks
The Mask You Live In - Trailer Check this out when you can, Matt Koval
lol. I love this Matt. You should do more about men/masculinity and how they carry on with that type of foolishness you described. How can one really describe masculinity anyways? You are masculine to me Matt, but you are not super "Macho". You are more like the European guys. I prefer that type of guy over the sliver backs, although the interaction is interesting to watch. lol
I don't shake hands with people, I've seen way to many men shoving their hands in to their pants to scratch their balls in the gym and streets, they don't even wash their hands either. And women prefer not to shake hands, at least not where I live. I just nod with my head for a hello or lift my hand up waving
Ha! Where's this?
Matt Koval Sweden, the land of shyness
Well, let me take it a bit further with a theory of mine.
I think when men love their body so much, spend days and nights in the gym trying to become like the dudes you saw on your google search, well... they end up loving "masculine" bodies in general. Or maybe they always did and didn't know.
So maybe masculine guys (with the 6-pack sense) are not so masculine after all...
I'm with Trump and other germophobes. No handshake, fist bump is okay. (whew, that was close, my spell check wanted to spell 'fist' 'dick') caught it in time.
Ha, whew!