Why I Film When I'm Not Feeling Good // Vlogmas 2019 Day 13
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
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"If I waited until I was well I'd never get anything done." Oooo. I feel that.
Omg she said the sentence just as i read your comment xD
Yep, definitely felt that.
@@deniselisboa1 same here!
I don't even have a pgysical disability, but that's where I am at in my brain.
So I fundementally don't, and can't understand. But I can make at least some sense of it.
So relatable
I'm for Jessica streaming her playing the sims when she feels a "little sick" if she is up to it.
THAT WOULD BE AN AMAZING IDEA!
THERE IS ONLY YES
Yes!!! The editing process seems to be so tough for her sometimes :( I would totally supports streams of Sims or even just chatting with Claudia
I’m a year late but I’d love this
I love how real you are. Living with chronic illnesses is awful and so many people pretend that they feel ok when they don’t.
I have to constantly pretend that my back doesn't hurt (I have a spine injury) and that I can do my day to day and help out others. They get frustrated when I say no I cant do something so I pretty much just push through any way to avoid judgment. It really sucks
Bella Joella me too. I have pain everywhere post stage 4 cancer but people constantly expect me to be ok now that I am in remission.
Too many surgeries and health/pain issues from being a preemie, I can empathize with everyone in these threads. A “healthy” person can not understand how pain can screw with one’s mental/emotional health as well as the physical. Illness takes a toll even if someone can’t see it visually.
My most not favorite not helpful remark in reference to dealing with chronic pain...”Try not to think about it.”
My least favorite thing a doctor has done..decided to take me off oral pain meds in conjunction with my pain med implant without asking me how I felt about it, not caring that I was able to actually get out of bed and actually live my life.
I’m sure everyone has their favorite horror stories as well, anyone care to share?
@@AC-gb7do first doctor said here's these stretches let's see of they help. Mark down if any cause pain. The next time I went in i was complaining about how all the exercises made me back hurt worse. They did some exrays on a whim and lol and behold I jad a type of fracture that causes one spine segment forward. Things that shouldn't get squished. And it causes leg pain and fatigue. Who knew. Turns out I'm not lazy after all like what my family thinks
Forgot to say it's called spondylolisthesis. I'll find out what grade it is when I go in next time.
"I don't remember how a normal body feels." hit me like a train. It's only been ~3 years.
I've had mine (multiple illnesses that feed into each other) for a decade and I also feel that
@@ladyredl3210 , I'm really sorry you're hurting. I would never wish any of this destructive chaos on anyone.
Most of it is mental illness, which then feeds into chronic panic disorder and stomach issues. I can't take vacations or anything because of it, and jobs are hard. I don't wish it on anyone either. Good luck to you too.
What has only been 3 years?
@@unicorn1655 , I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease 3 years ago, and it's surreal to think it's been that long...
"It doesn't like to stay on me, it recognizes i was born too late" XD not feeling well is OK, physically or mentally. thank you for making this video. xx from Germany
"I work when I can because there are days where it will not be a choice." Felt that hard.
I would always get yelled at by my family, my partner, and my friends for taking naps during the day (especially in winter) and it made me feel guilty for doing it. But I have seasonal depression and my body needs to take a nap halfway through the day especially when I go to school or work because my body gets exhausted faster than usual and the only way I can do homework, cook dinner, or just watch RUclips i need to take a nap so i don't feel like i haven't slept for days. So I've learn to ignore the people who say you shouldn't let your depression control you because it's not my depression controlling me it's me taking care of my body and mind.
It's a bit odd, really. Lots of places have mid-day breaks / siestas / afternoon tea and science has done studies showing it really helps... and yet.
Same my mum always tells me off ☹️
SAD hit me early this year and I can’t get through most days without napping or at the very least resting for a while. Its hard explaining that to people.
I work for myself and live where I work so I can lounge on a couch watching some RUclips or whatever while cuddling under a heated blanket. I am so sore omg ouch.
I like that you say you take care of yourself. You don't have to fit others' view of the world. You just have to deal with and be fine with yourself in the first line.
Congrats for your courage, even if it hurts when family and friends aren't empathic.
I think that when somebody films himself only when he's feeling well people might get the wrong impression that this person's disability is 'not that big of a deal'. I admire your courage for showing the bad days.
Videos where I can see people I love to watch on good days have bad days make me feel so valid. You always looking stunning and upbeat and just all around lovely and still having days like this where you show us this side reminds me that it's ok to have the bad days and still be seen and wonderful.
I related a lot to when you said "if I waited until I was feeling well I would never get anything done", but in regard to my mental health. If I only was productive when I felt completely fine, I would never leave my bed, you know? And that's not a knock on people who can't--I was absolutely in that boat for a while, but I've been very lucky to find medication and therapy that has been really beneficial for me. Despite all of that, though, I still have anxiety attacks at least once a week and I have to make the conscious choice to get out of bed and start my day. I'm never going to be completely "better". And like, that sucks, but I've learned to work with it.
And this is how come I've never been productive in my life up until this year. I totally feel this.
For sure, the same here. I have battled Major Depressive Disorder since I was 12, chronic sciatica since I was 15, and somewhere in there my right knee started collapsing.
I'm now 46. I've had a very spotty employment history because of my health. I lived with my parents until I was 39, except for 3 years that I tried to launch into independence and lived in apartments, which all ended in disaster.
When I finally married at 39 I thought I was finally going to free my parents from the "burden" of caring for me. They never, ever said that, but it's how I felt.
The ex turned out to be abusive, so at 44 I was on my own again and not only dealing with MDD, but C-PTSD. I lost my job, I'm living in a house I can't afford, and for nearly 2 yrs I've been trying to push myself toward a level of wellness that would allow me to return to work. I am very blessed to have a generous mom who is blessed with an amazing career, so she bought my house and is pretty much paying for my life.
Despite my health issues I have a ton of hobbies, my favorite of which is remodeling houses. Because I absolutely love remodeling I am more prone to push thru the MDD to do it. Sometimes I cry while getting ready, but I know that I will feel better once I get my hands on some tools. Due to my risk of a sciatic flare up I always work from a rolling chair. I have to divide my work up between things I can do while seated, things that I have to stand up to do, and things on ladders for which I need someone else. I also never work 2 days in a row otherwise I become overly tired and painful, which is when the MDD flares up and I'm at a higher risk of a sciatic pinch. It's hard to find people willing to pay for that kind of service, so my hobby stays a hobby. Now that I'm battling C-PTSD it's much harder to leave my house, so I'm always late and I often sob on the way there. But, I'm choosing to push past my issues to have an occasional life that I enjoy. I have also lived the last 12 years with a chronic limp, so add that to the mix of my struggle to get stuff done.
In April 2019 a tumor was discovered on my sciatic nerve. It was removed in August 2019 (benign). 9 days later I got out of bed and walked around like a normal person. A few days later I realized that my bad knee was no longer weak or unstable. I never once thought to associate the sciatica and the knee problem, but it made absolute sense when they got better at the same time.
I got 4.5 months to be more mobile and flexible than I've ever been in my adult life, but in mid January 2020, for some reason I can't explain, the sciatica came back, worse than it's been since 12 yrs ago when the limp started. I went to the ER, was admitted to the hospital, sent to a rehab facility, and taken back to the ER within 22 hours of being discharged from rehab. I was admitted to the hospital again but opted for in-home rehab the second time. Earlier this week I was finally released to drive again after 10 days of being homebound. The last month has been pretty traumatic, and I'm essentially back to my old "normal" physically, only I'm using a walker 100% of the time.
Now I'm battling the physical difficulty of getting out of bed along with the MDD lack of motivation to get out of bed. I'm battling the struggle to leave the house with the walker and the C-PTSD that makes me not to want to leave at all. I had just landed a job, at a daycare, which I am no longer physically able to do, so I've had to excuse myself from that. I was just getting excited about being able to pay for my own existance.
People think I'm just lazy and a moocher. They have no idea how hard it is to continually rely on their parents financially and physically. It's embarrassing to ask for money. It's disheartening to have to call and inform my mom that I've fallen again, or in the hospital again. It seems everyone I meet has had sciatica and feels the need to tell me they had it once and it was painful but they still went to work. They don't understand that my sciatica causes me to lose feeling in my legs. That it's not just back pain, I've fallen on the ground and I can't get up because the nerve pinched unexpectedly and is not letting go. In my pain I have to force myself to turn toward a position that will help relieve the pinch enough for me to get off the floor. I've had it happen at almost every job I've had. It makes employers question my ability to do my job but also if I'm a legal liability. I assure them that I know this is my problem and I won't sue them for falling down in the office due to my problem.
This is not a fun way to live. Maybe I should start vlogging about doing home repairs from a chair? Would people watch that?
Literally, this is my life most days. When I was talking about coping mechanisms someone recommended that the best thing for me in the long term is to learn to live with discomfort. And I didn't think of it until later, but I am literally in discomfort one way or another almost all the time. Hopefully it won't always be like that, but right now it is. So when I turn to coping mechanisms and distractions (which I've found this channel wonderful for ❤❤❤) it's because I've hit my limit in ability to tolerate it and just need to block it out for a while.
@@SesshyLoverLioness I hear ya! I do not take painkillers when I'm in pain because that would be the max dose every day and I'd rather not destroy my liver or kidneys that way. I exist at a pain scale level of 3-5 every day. You won't even see me cry until I hit a 10. It's just my life to be in pain all the time.
On the upside, today I had to have blood drawn but my veins were being uncooperative. I was poked in 6 different places before we had success. It hurt about as much as a mosquito bite. The rest of me hurts so much that small pains like them digging around in my arm with a needle hardly phases me now. That's a positive, right?
This is not negative. This is a positive video
I Feel Like An Animal Has Died Inside Me, a memoir.
Okay but like, as a person who also has chronic illness I fully understand what she means.
@@hannahscott463 me too, and I wish I didn't
When she said “when was the last time I ran somewhere?” I felt that.
I found this video really inspiring because even though you felt utterly awful you still chose to make a video to show the you when you’re not feeling 100%. I could listen to you talk for hours. Keeping being amazing. We’re all here for you xxx
If I'm your boss does that mean I can give you a promotion and a raise? Because you deserve it.
I suppose technically that means buying her merch, joining her club etc, or just watching the adverts based on our available income.
I watch all her adverts but I will try and give a little after xmas. She and her content have meant so much ❤
"Do you ever get that feeling sometimes where you just feel like one of your organs has decided to vacate?"
[Me, a type 1 diabetic]: Yes
Me, an autoimmune thyroiditis person: also yes 😂 🤝
Jessica having a 'sick day' still looks 1000% more put together than me on a normal day 😂
Same. I've never looked that good. :)
Damn yes... and everything looks so clean and nice.. my house is a MESS
@ In your defense you probably don't have a carer to help clean stuff up when you feel like a sack of potatoes
@@kieleyevatt2232 you are right. But some day hopefully.
I've always loved how "Lemsip" sounds so incredibly British, yet is also very accurate. Sounds way cuter and actually palatable than our "Theraflu".
We have NeoCitran in Canada
Yes, Lemsip sounds far better than either Theraflu or Neocitran. Lemsip sounds like the name of an actual drink with lemon. Neocitran is second best because at least it alludes to something citrusy. Also, I'm Canadian, so I have some bias there.
Me: that nightie looks like the one my grandmother kept from her honey moon.
Jessica: “this is an original 1950s night dress.”
Me: ah yes. That’s the right time period...
My grandmother was married in 1912 😂 I'm 35.
I’m inspired to just do my best, whatever my best is at that particular time. Thank you.
You're Brave, Miss Jessica. I'm an Autistic blogger... But i Also hace depression. Sometimes i feel "Why do this? No one Will listen!!". But i know, maybe, someone else feels that way. That someone needs me. I can save a life. I can make a Day brighter.
Autistics are 9 times in more risk of taking their own lives.
So... In the name of those who had enough... I Will still stand.
Mentally/ Chronically ill people may not have much spoons. But we share the tiny ones we have. And hey, It's almost Christmas!! Time to share!!
Some of us Will never donate blood. But we can still save lives.
Yo merengues ❤️You’re a hero
So very true! 🤗🤗
I absolutely love how she can stay laughing and joking when she's ill. I haven't been chronically ill for very long so I struggle to be anything but grumpy when I'm at my worst. It really makes me feel bad that I push people away for being so frustrated. I hope one day I'll be better at accepting what's going on with my body. Very good video :)
Crazy Llama Lady I’ve been dealing with chronic illness for 16 years, it’s part of the process to go through the angry stage. You are basically going through the stages of grief, you’re mourning the body you had and it’s difficult. I’m not going to lie, it’s a very rough period to be in, I was in it for the first few years of my own illness and occasionally slip back a bit when new stuff pops up, but it does get better. Not necessarily physically, we all kind of know where our own illnesses are taking us, but mentally you learn to cope and grow into who you’re meant to be.
If you’re able to I’d recommend speaking with a counselor who specializes in chronic illness, they can help you process and learn coping skills. They can really help to get you to a better place mentally faster. Even just a few sessions can be super beneficial.
Wow...I never thought about it that way. That’s an excellent point. I have a chronic illness and it was finally a relief to have a diagnosis and explanation for feeling like crap all the time. But I still really judge myself for being “lazy” and “weak” and I get mad that I’m not like normal, healthy 20-something year olds.
And the weird thing is....while I’m lucky enough to have a viable treatment plan that will get me to remission and back to mostly normal health, I am still angry and bitter about my current health and feel totally defeated and ashamed. It’s very strange to have this pessimism when in theory I will be feeling better in a year or so! I don’t know that I could/will ever be as positive as Jessica, but I appreciate hearing your guys’ perspectives because it’s quite eye opening to me....
That was long and rambly but thanks for sharing & listening. 💕
@@laurat2509 Partly it's a good point of you. But for me it's not the solution...
I tried to explain it once to abled people. Becoming disabled is not just like losing a loved one, because you can let go of a person and period. There is no chance of anything hitting you hard when the person is gone.
Becoming deaf (or otherwise disabled) means letting go of the person you imagined you would become *while* you are often overwhelmed, exhausted or sth alike in the present.
For me that's often the hardest, most bitter part. There is no exit. Sometimes it just feels like a living nightmare without end.
Luckily I learnt that this is only a snapshot, one tiny little thought amongst many other. But the pain it causes sometimes feels like hell.
For me, becoming disabled is a constant struggle to accept what is still possible without overdoing it because of my extraterrestrial motivation of being like I used to be...
Does that make sense to anyone here? 🙈
Hi love. Same here. I go through the angry and grief stage regulary. I agree with the person before saying seek counceling or look for online. Themighty.com has great resources and chronicbabe.com. Im tired and not a good writer today but remember all your feelings are valid. Loads of love and be soft on yourself. Sending love from Iceland, stuck in bed but trying my best
It's not easy to accept change, and realising one part of your life is forever altered . Kelle611 is correct , you are grieving . For me it's been "officially " 14 years and there are days when I still get angry /down at the situation . I found that information is your friend , Less surprises ! If you know what could happen and it doesn't you've got a win. If it does , oh well, another thing to work out . Be kind to yourself . You will get to a place when you realise you are feeling happy at that moment . Maybe you completed a goal you'd set yourself . Beware the push and crash . You push past your limits then spend 3 days recovering . You'll have to pace yourself . This probably makes you feel worse, but life can be good even if it's different . Hugs
Bernadette Banner has sewing livestreams with patreons, like a meetup where everyone works on their handicraft. She said it is very good for productivity, because she would have to prepare her project (cutting pinning etc) so she is ready to handstitch everything during the streamand her viewers say tey feel motivated to set aside that time to work n their projects. Maybe you can make something similar as a reciprocal motivation :)
I like that idea.
Or maybe gaming could be fun. There's so much to choose from. Story driven games like life is strange,silly games like that Lego stuff, multiplayer like Dead by daylight or overwatch or whatever and absolute masterpieces like the last of us. I dunno I just enjoy the variety of games there are and who knows maybe she and the community will enjoy that as well
Yes THIS
Writers do it all the time. Streaming what they call a live write-in. They time themselves and just watch each other write to encourage
Ooo I am a Bernadette banner subscriber and now I so want to do patreon
Dear generous Jessica: Of course friends want to spend both the good and the less good days with you. Thank you.
People who have nice bed clothes have achieved a level of togetherness I can only dream of.
Watching this as I'm a puddle in bed struggling to even be able to lift my head up from pain/nausea.
But in an hour I have to get up put clothes on and go to work.
You talking about this helps so much. I always keep trying to work and do things no matter how non functioning my body has decided to be.
I also have hEDS
Questioning if these sentences even make sense....
Gonna stop now
I really like the idea of the writing live stream! And 100% I think it would be good to watch while I'm doing homework. I'm a grad student who has to write so many freaking papers and need the motivation to keep writing.
Update:
Missed the bus I was trying to get that would of meant I wouldn't of had to switch buses part way, but hey, still gonna make it to work on time
Just with significantly less energy cause switching busses is rough on me
Teague N i hope you Will have a good day. You are strong for getting out of bed!
My 3 year old daughter keeps saying "oh mommy she as a headache! I hope she feels better ". So we are hoping you are feeling better soon from Alabama, USA!!
such a sweet little anger 😘
I think when people say when you feel well, we mean when you get back to your baseline of functional chronic illness
This is why I started crocheting. Even on days when I can't do anything else, I can usually get at least a few rows done. It has made my quality of life so much better to have something that I can do and have something tangible at the end. Also thank you for posting this, because it really does help to see the reality of it played out in someone else to validate the feelings in yourself. I hope I worded that okay. My brain is tired.
I agree so much. I knit and crochet and it has helped me so much. Also, when I have a day that is so bad I cannot knit my family notice and acknowledge how bad I must be feeling.
Thank you, Jessica. I believe that you put into words what my husband has tried to tell me for 22 years. I will say that I will still be upset when he overdoes things just before vacation and we are unable to do things together because he isn’t well. Now, if he overdoes things on vacation, I have no problem with that.
I know that people don’t understand how sick he has been because they only see him when he is feeling “well”; not when he can only make it to his chair in the living room.
I know that we both felt alone. Him being so young with heart failure and I with a chronically ill husband.
Wishing you a speedy recovery from this dip in your wellness spectrum.
"If I waited till I was feeling well, I'd never get anything done" SO relateable. Thank you for creating content like this, as while I love seeing us disabled content creators looking glamorous etc (in our respective ways), it's also really nice and I think really important to show these low spoon days too (spoons willing)
"I don't remember how a normal body feels." Hits Home. Perfectly said. Chronic Pain (back & pelvis) for 15 years.
This video feels like I'm looking into a mirror today. A mirror that gives me perfect hair, mind you.
Word
I feel this. I will often spend my energy/spoons on things other people don't see the sense in. I have control over so little that this seems like such an important choice.
Thank you for making this video.
Yay, spoon theory!
Sick, and your hair is still drop-dead perfection! My best days, I look like I fell out of a tumble dryer.
im having a bad day too and watching this reeally cheered me up and made me feel less alone
I admire and appreciate your honesty, and your drive. This is a conversation many people try to outright avoid because it can be so difficult/sensitive a subject.
Honestly I love ur eyebrows haha. Whenever I doodle that’s usually how my OC’s eyebrows end up looking like. They’re cute. imo ^_^
LOL “it recognizes that I was born too late” 😂
"If I don't have a distinction between generally ill and really, really ill, what is my life coming to?" Sing it, sis
I will bookmark this video and send it to everyone who asks why I stay in bed the whole day sometimes. When I'm feeling that bad, it's not only pain that keeps me from moving around, but also the fear of hurting myself because my brain doesn't work correctly and I'm bloody CONFUSED! Thank you for making this video. 💙
Thanks for the accurate description of chronic fatigue. It makes me feel less alone in the suffering. 💜🤗
Oh my god, that is the best description of running with EDS that I’ve ever heard. Before I was diagnosed I ran cross country as a kid(stupid I know) and I always knew it was harder but that feeling where everything just seizes up and your hands are numb and oh god thank you for sharing that!! It helps make me feel more normal.
I usually get extreme migraines and I cant move for days so I completely understand
Renia Reads I’m same been in hospital 3 times this year cos they got so bad, can take me about 4 days to recover xx
watching this as a chronically ill person who struggles with similar things to you made me feel so much less alone. i don’t think ive ever seen another chronically ill person on their ‘bad days’, and knowing my bad days aren’t too dissimilar to yours brings me comfort. i relate heavily to not knowing what it’s like to have a healthy body, i’ve been ill for 8 years now and i can’t remember what it’s like to not be. knowing it’s a shared experience is really nice. thank you for this
I wish I looked this glamorous on my bad days
Word
I wish I was as generous and giving on my bad days.
As a person with no significant medical condition, I truly admire and appreciate your sincere, poetic, and on-going effort of depicting how you feel to others who cannot fathom what you are going through. Thank you for continuing the conversation on your hard days, and up-lifting those who needs solidarity
I'm currently watching you while one eye is closed due to post stroke fatigue I had a shower for the first time in 2 weeks now in bed
Well done on the shower!! Enjoy your rest x
Christine. hope yr recovery is quick and steady!
Sending lots of positive vibes
May your recovery be shockingly fast and delightfully uneventful! And may all your doctor appointments be productive.
🤗🤗🤗🤗💜💜
I have had migraines for over 30 yrs and hate them especially when trying to explain to folks what they are like to have. In 2008 I was diagnosed with an intra ocular melanoma and due to the treatment for it and bi lateral glaucoma I have lost a lot of sight. I told my eye doc that having the migraines have been my apprenticeship for my sight loss
You’re my hero. That’s all.
P.S. As a person who also suffers from chronic illnesses, I thank you for you making these videos and bringing awareness in a way that I never could and just being you.
I think that with a disability one of the most frustrating issues is always being told what to do with your life, time, relationships, and even the clothes you wear, without anyone giving the slightest thought or consideration of finding out what you want! Finding a “purpose” of any sort is a key to having a more complete and happier life!!
Well done, insightful, and well needed in any community struggling with a disability or aspect where they feel less than others.
Omg this made me cry, I feel so validated. I do my best every day and most days I'm not able to do as much as I want to. Thank you for showing this ❤
It is difficult when your loved ones believe that they have your best interest at heart by wrapping you in cotton wool. They do not realise that their good intentions can actually be debilitating you further. My loved ones often ‘suggest’ what I should not do because whatever it may be - carrying some shopping bags, sweeping the floor, going out and photographing the beautiful seasonal changes- tomorrow the pain level will mean being trapped in bed. They don’t understand that being further limited only leads to more pain, emotionally, and physically if you don’t move at all.
Life with chronic illness is nothing I would ever wish on another. Watching your videos always bring s a smile to my heart because I can empathise as I too have HNPP, rheumatoid arthritis, complicated by spinal injuries suffered in a car crash, and my life is one day some times one hour at a time. Thank you for sharing your life with us all. You are truly brave and inspirational
Thank you for being so raw and honest.
Seeing something like this does help make me feel less alone. Today happens to be an ok day, but I do have plenty of days in bed.
This perfectly describes how I’m feeling today. Exhausted, generally ill, but still wanting to live and share that life with others, even if I am somewhat miserable. There’s no perfect way to describe the feeling of being ill upon chronically ill but you do a good job. Thanks, Jessica.
Really enjoyed seeing this more raw side of you. Your personality is still just as sharp, but now your brain seems to trail off often like mine. Very, very relatable. Love your channel!!! Thank you for still posting.
Jessica & I yawning at one another - true emotional support - while I sit on my couch having a migraine ! Thank you so much , Jessica !
What even is a normal body? What even is normal?
My whole experience of having a flesh vessel has been a strange one.
'normal' is to be able to care for yourself and others most of the day.
Normal bodied people aren't in pain everyday.
Normal is declarable
@@singingintherain4750 Not really. People have different pain tolerance for example. Some have chronic illnesses and do not even know about it. And even if there is no illness involved: Our bodies and minds are so different from each other that everyone feels life in a different way.
Being disabled is of course on another level.
You are wonderful. Thank you for your integrity on both good and bad days.
I hope I speak for the community when I say that my comments on bad day posts like "oh no I hope you feel better soon take a day off and look after yourself!" are intended to remind you there is no external pressure and that we all support you! Working is always your choice :) We'll all be here for you whether working is a good thing or a bad thing for you to be doing that day, and send you good wishes for feeling less bad as soon as possible!
I completely understand, I too often forget other people can move that fast. 😃
My friends favourite saying is “ Sorry! The life & body you ordered is currently out of stock, you’ll have to make do with that faulty one. “ oh how true. Lol
If I waited until I was feeling well I would never get anything done.
Living with chronic migraine I felt THAT! Appreciate you sharing your good days and bad. You’re a beautiful soul.
Right there with ya girl! Pelvis and spine are killing me! I love your dark sense of humor, gotta be able to laugh off the pain sometimes and the ridiculousness of our symptoms. Hang in there love xxx
I know your main goal is to help others that share in having a chronic illness but you do so much more than that. My wife has a chronic pain disorder and it can be a little overwhelming for me at times because I feel absolutely helpless when I can't make her feel better. Your videos really help from the opposite side as well, so thank you. Really truly from a soul deep level, thank you.
I started following you during your Christmastide posts last year, specifically on your migraine day video. I stuck around because you're charming and informative, but I especially appreciate your candor regarding bad days as well as the good. Thank you!
This video speaks to me, so much. I don't have a chronic illness, but I do have a chronic mental illness. I completely agree, with you. I have to noticed if I'm feeling horrible staying at home or not doing something productive makes me feel ten times worse. Even if it's just going to a cafe to getting a cup of coffee. Thank you so much for posting this video. I love how open you are about yourself and your struggles. It makes me feel less alone.
Chronic mental illness is still chronic illness. The symptoms, and how they are exacerbated or relieved, may be different - but it is still illness. And can still be a flaming hellscape to live with and manage.
And I agree. Even getting a teeny tiny task done can help. Especially in giving you momentum. Baby steps are still steps! ❤
The lemsip starts kicking in at around 14:14 😂 we've all been there feeling like this. You just have added extra bonus feeling crummy. I hope you feel better for you soon. I also hope that you get as revenues for lemsip. It's greatly deserved! Xx
You are stellar at making people aware of disabilities and coping. You show people how attitude is all important when facing disabilities, or actually, any hardship in life. You show that so well and it gives others such hope and a guide that helps. I love your tenacity, humor, resilience, intelligence, honesty and generous nature. I think you'd have all those attributes whether you had a disability or not. You help, you inspire and I'm grateful.
I appreciate when you're filming on bad days because I feel like I'm not alone feeling the way I feel. Also, the scab metaphor was great! Using it from now on!
my health has been going steadily downwards again for the past year, and it's really hard at times to hold on to your optimism and acceptance of how things are etc. It's hard to remember it goes up and down when you cant get out of bed for a week, or can't talk to your friends for over a month. But your channel really helps me, and especially videos like this.
Seeing someone feeling similar to yourself can sometimes be enough to feel seen yourself, so thank you
Watching this from bed. I totally understand. I am in the middle of a flair.
My chronic illness started in adulthood so I have childhood memories of what it was like to not be in pain everyday or have your body misbehave randomly. It amazes me to realize some people live that way everyday.
Me: *Studying for finals but taking a break to eat a sandwich and watch Jess*
My friends: *sees my computer screen* OH! Is this the vintage lesbian?!
Me: Why yes, yes it is.
Most days i find it hard to get out of bed, not for the same reasons as Jessica, but it is a struggle. I find your content so comforting. Feeling seen both through a queer lens and through one of daily struggle, and seeing you persevere with all you go through motivates me. Thank you.
I hope this year is as wonderful as you deserve.
Love to all the Kellgren-Fozard family
I love this, not enough people show the bad days.
Literally two seconds before you said something about “you can share this video with others” I was thinking that I might share it because it feels like such a true explanation/illustration of so many days of my life.
What you said about having a purpose, too, is most of why I’m working on starting a RUclips channel. I’m calling it my part time job, because it’s hard for me to have a regular one. I don’t know. I feel like the things I’m typing are coming out sort of trite or something, but just... this video was the perfect thing for me to see today, and I’m really grateful for your presence on the internet. Thanks for making me feel less alone. ❤️
"When one of your organs has decided to vacate"
Me, on dialysis: yep, I feel you friend
I so much appreciate that you film these videos when you aren't feeling the best. I have chronic pain from arthritis and other issues, and end up feeling rather alone on my bad pain days especially since I am still relatively young (less than 30). When I watch your videos I feel a little less alone and that allows me to more easily manage my pain and function slightly better. So thank you for sharing your experiences so eloquently and so freely. Thank you, I can't really say how much your videos help me and how much I truly appreciate it, so thank you.
I feel your pain. The cold is really testing my pain tolerance levels. Arthrogryposis and winter do not mix . Hope your better very soon xxx
I have only very recently found your channel, and I find you to be an amazing human being. How you continue to push through everything despite how you feel is utterly incredible. You offer such honest insight into chronic pain and illness, it makes it a bit easier to bear for others who share you misfortune. I wish you well and hope there is something that may ease your discomfort in future.
I research people's family trees for them. It's something I can do when I'm not well and I love doing it.
It is wonderful to see someone showing the effects of chronic fatigue on the brain. I find this is the most frustrating and hard to cope with aspect of my chronic illness. I totally understand what you mean about training your brain to see the positives in life. It’s a coping mechanism that is so necessary. A life wallowing in self pity is not a life. You are so inspirational to me to keep on finding the positives! Thank you Jessica! XO
I cried while watching this. Today I hit that “wall”. I recently got a job as a florist but it’s funny, the terms I was hired on is not at all what I’m doing. I’m a clerk basically. Lifting over my drs note of the 10lbs that I can only do. I have a neuro disorder that sends my muscles into spasms- I do not feel well when the days are over and in fact are normally almost paralyzed when coming home. I guess I need to reassess what I’m doing and find the florist job I was hoping for. I just can’t do this. I called out today. I was crying on the way home from work yesterday because my muscles were spasming out of control. My gastroparesis was acting up too. But this job gives me a reason and feeling of being needed that I enjoy. But you have made it so clear to me that it’s okay to hit that wall you speak of, and that it’s okay to do this kind of thing but not exceed your limitations. I have a lot to think about.
Good luck to you ❤
Good luck from me too!
I'm stupid enough to be a nurse, although becoming deaf for 15 years now. I often argue with "having the heart of a real nurse", but in fact it is killing me. The tensions of normal communication, for example lip reading all day, I probably never will get relaxed again, which causes exhaustion, which leads to more need of sleep and so on...
Actually I am always learning to let go of pictures and imaginations I create over myself. It won't ever help to get along with my burdens when I keep fighting against them instead of accepting everything I am and have. Not focusing on what I lost or cannot achieve. Cherish little successes. Two hours without pain, having left the bed, what fits for you. :-)
This felt like when I was in my late teens and spending days with my mum taking care of her when her chronic pain would flair up and a migraine would kick in. Just a person living their life the best way they can in an uncomfortable period of time. Thank you for sharing.
In bed today as well and your video felt like a reassuring friend paying a visit.
I have several chronic illnesses and a broken ankle and am learning to do stuff while I am in pain, you are my example that it can be done. Thank you for sharing your life and sharing that being ill and in pain does not mean that everything is over and you can find your own normal. ❤️
*stares dramatically into the horizon* 'I shall drink this Lemsip now.'
I feel that distinction of 'true' rest days for when you really need it so much. Recently I've been listening to my body a lot more and set up a few adjustable habits to do everyday. So I can make them as 'easy' as I need on bad days (e.g. going for a walk but just for one minute, writing a sentence) and then I make myself do them even when I feel bad and don't want to because I know it makes me feel better.
The times where doing it doesn't make me feel any better or I can't do it at all are when I know it's really bad. It's validating, in a way? For someone who often doubts themself and their perception of their health after a lovely doctor told me I didn't know what being healthy felt like anymore :) it's nice to have 'proof' almost. It allows me to truly give myself a break rather than telling myself off for not doing things when I feel bad.
Thanks for this, multi-flare has really hit today, yes, you’ve helped me feel less alone.
I totally understand the whole distracting yourself from the constant aches and pains with productivity and work especially to balance those days where you're able to do something even just work from bed vs the days where you just can't.
It's kind of nice to listen to this video, having a pretty awefull time rn myself, I'm lying in bed with my cat, my body says "not today thanks am dead."
I cant tell you how much I appreciate these videos. I'm also Chronically ill and often forget there are other people out there who struggle like me. Thank you ❤
oof, I feel you with the pelvis grinding against itself… Gotta love the sensation of big important bones just free-floating around…
I suffer from Depression and Anxiety. and I work constantly. It helps my state of mind to feel like im doing something useful, or to be helping someone. I tell myself constantly that work will set me free. and in my mind, it does!
You are a rockstar!❤ I appreciate when you make videos when your not 100% because then I feel that I'm not alone, and I am sure loads of other people do too. Get better soon(well, as better as you can)!❤❤
I have a husband with a chronic illness that makes daily life very unpredictable. I would love to get the perspective of Claudia on how she keeps her chin up when the bad days hit hard. I absolutely love this channel and get a lot of stress reduction watching your beautiful faces! Thank you for sharing the good and the bad with us!!
“So much of your life feels like it’s just taken away from you” ... that hit really hard.
Watching the honesty, love and that big dose of snarkiness in your videos has helped me look at my own health issues. I have rheumatoid arthritis, sjogren's syndrome and possibly fibromyalgia. Thank you so much for sharing your stories with us. Much love to you
I spent so much time the past few months in bed, *because* I can still remember being completely fine.
A few months ago I was completely painfree, but the past few month my migraines/headaches went from twice a year to twice a month to 14 pain free days a month, to 11 pain free days a month, to 3 pain free days a month... to 0 pain free days a month... to 0 pain free hours in 4 weeks,..
I was/am so used to the "just wait until you're feeling fine again" mode, that you'd use normally, that I waited and stayed in bed waited and waited and that lead to me having tension headaches now, instead of migraine headaches... At least the tension headaches will get better, once the physiotherapists gets out all of the knots in my neck and shoulders and arms and back, haha.
Anyways, what I wanted to say is: Because I was categorizing almost EVERY day for months as "not feeling well enough to do something" and thought I just had to wait it out, like you'd do with a normal mgraine,, because I was so well aware what "being well" is, that I made it worse for myself.
Thanks for being so real about being ill. I struggle with being honest about how bad things are sometimes, as if I constantly have to pretend to be well- or at least as close to well as I can be. You remind me that it's okay to feel bad and just say that I feel bad. I love you!!
Oooh do a Write-A-Long for sure!! Sounds like something I’d be down for.
Thank you for doing this. I often have brain fog with word finding problems. Allowing others to see your moments of struggle is hard, and brave and so appreciated.