My Niece left her home in the Midwest and all by herself moved to Los Angeles. Because of bad family support. She was only 18 years old. But she Made it! Your best bet is to save some money and when you have what you think you'll need for 2-3 months. Just go make your own future as You see fit. The best advice will come from people who are already doing what you'd like to do. People are more Generous than you might think. Ask them for a few minutes of their time and have your questions ready. Or try going to see a College student counselor and ask them for some help. You are a handsome young man and once you are out on your own, the Need for advice will push aside what you call social shyness. Go with what you feel the most passion about, and your mind and Your heart will make your goals a Reality! May God bless you! Keep us posted! Hope this helps!
@@andyheideman5618 Your home life experience has been primarily negative. But, they may also love you so much that they don't want to see you leave home. As the saying goes, "If you keep repeating the same actions ( like with your family) you can't expect a different response." Stay true to Yourself, it's Your life now, to make of it what you will. As you grow into your choice of profession, you will meet others and make friends. There are more guys like "Andy" out there, just be yourself and chose wisely. You Know your own mind, keep your focus and the future is Yours to grab! Best of luck 🍀🍀🍀 God bless you on your journey! Thanks for your reply! 😃
I feel you on this. My parents were the same, saying I couldn't do something, I'm not the person who can do this. I cut them off at some point, because I'd rather be alone than being exposed to the poison they spew,,over and over again. It was hard, but I've never been happier in my life. Go do you man, may you find that happiness in life.
There is no need to cut them off ,it's just he can have relationship with them and at the same time learn to ignore their advices about how he can't handle something new he wants to start and learn to live without their encouragements which he needs and they can't give .
I can relate to your pain caused by ineffective, toxic parents. I chose a college 250 miles away from my home to escape the destruction they were causing me. After graduation, I moved even farther away. I surrounded myself with people who were positive, caring & had their acts together. I learned how to live life on my own terms, make my own decisions, & find success. I am thankful for the good people who have helped me along life's journey. Andy, it is possible for you to move own & make a great life for yourself. A guy who expresses himself as well as you do, and has good insight into the problems of his family, has the potential to make the improvement you desire.
Some family need to be loved from a distance. You need to face some real truths, maybe they can't give you the guidance you need. Bless you and good luck. Don't stagnate, you need just one person to believe in you, find them. xx
Hey man I’m in the same boat as you and I’m creeping in my mid 30s. Just take it a day at a time and know you are not the only one. I have been dealing with social anxiety and have no friends which has occurred at a young age because of minor developmental difficulties in school which held me back a lot and kept me from fitting in with groups so I know it’s hard.
You’ve got to do you bud ! You have to live your own life - try everything that you want .. enjoy your 20’s - it’s not for then , it’s for you , they should be happy for you to be happy
My parents have been doing this a lot to me recently. I Can’t get work after graduating university and they do bring you down sometimes I can totally relate. It gets to a point when they pile tons of pressure on you and it does really get to you ripping away your confidence. There are times when they are supportive but I think they get so worried that they do lash out at the wrong times.
Your final words are spot on. You’ll have negatively throughout your life but you just have to ignore it and do you, because yes you can. It worked for me, I used to listen to the negativity and it got me nowhere. Then one day I decided not to tell the nay sayers what I was going to do and now I have a house and my own business. I never thought I could do it because of miserable assholes telling me I couldn’t.
I so feel for you and my experiences with my parents were very difficult. Like you, I felt stuck. One day, I got so fed up and I walked away from my father. I didn't speak with him for 3 years (until my grandfather was in the hospital, and even then I restricted the discussions only to my grandfather's updates). I knew going to college was super important to me. So I got out a couple of the college and university catalogues, ran through the indexes, made mental notes as to what I kept coming back to...signed up to start my education, loved what I was learning, made a bit of an adjustment of the diploma (not to science and math based)... I was studying for my anatomy and physiology exam; my father asked to see the book/subject I was studying...he was floored! He then said he would never doubt my abilities again - he was blown away as to what I was learning. I finally felt vindicated. Sometimes one has to walk away from the negative people and negative thoughts...push through it and you will succeed.
I think you're experiencing what many young people find out - parents are flawed and don't have all the answers. Sometimes when you feel like you need them the most that's when they let you down, not on purpose, but because they can't make decisions for you. Perhaps the lack of support you're feeling is one of the first real tests of who you are as a man and whether you can stick to the goals you set for yourself. Your parents will be gone one day whether you fail or succeed. Follow your interests in hobbies, college, career path. You'll be proud to stand on your own two feet and be a rock of support to wife and kids.
Aww! Seeing you cry made me want to hug you through the screen. You seem like such a sweetheart! I know how hard social anxiety can be (I still haven't figured mine out yet haha), but it's nice to see that you still have the drive to try
I just found your channel, and this video made me feel so bad. I am sorry you are feeling like this, and I hope things get better for you. You can do anything you put your mind to, have confidence in yourself and like you said you can make your own happiness. You're young, nice looking and have a great personality. I am rooting for you ✌🙂
Andy, we grew up with many beliefs like family has to be there for you and they have to support you, family can also be people not relate to you. Like many comments in here you know what the answer is go and find it own your own, make your own path and you will discover your strengths, new ways to see life, meet other people that will help you in different ways. Andy you have a good vibe about yourself and in the future you will know that you made the right decision, and how you are feeling right now it will be just the past. I will really like to help you with some guidance and encouragement if you like. You can do and be anything you want. When you are ready make the first step. Armando
Hey Armando, thanks for watching, I really appreciate it! You're right, I can find my own path and just starting to realize that now at 25 and with people like you reaching out and sending encouragement it goes a long way so thank you!
@@andyheideman5618 anytime. Dont be hard on yourself, we come to this life to learn and figure things out. Live the moment one day at a time. If you have anything you want to ask, get out of your chest, guidance, etc take care.
Sometimes, when i feel down and lost , just talking about it with my therapist helps . It's awesome the fact that you are saying all out loud , but i think it would be good for you to have someone who can help you understand yourself and say things that confort you and that you need to hear . Stay strong . I am rooting for you !
Hi hey Andy! Hope things are starting to go better and better for you just like they are for me! You and I are still in the very same boat when it comes to something like this. Big hugs! 🤗🤗❤️❤️
You're very very welcome! 🤗🥰😌🥰 Aww thank you for all of the very very kind words! I knew you would be glad to hear that about me! I will do my best to remember that no matter what! You're always a very sweet and caring and awesome guy! I'd love to be a friend of yours!
Well, what is it that you enjoy doing? What are your hobbies. It’s so hard to make it in these times without parental support. It’s hard, but sometimes it’s best to create a separation between yourself and your parents and live life on your own terms.
Hi Andy, your parents are probably very worried and don’t know how to help you, I’m sure it’s not their intention to hurt you but they probably are trying to protect you. I don’t know where you live and if it’s a small community, but maybe it’s time to have a go at making a life for yourself, sometimes parents always see you as a child and not a young adult ready to make your own decisions and mistakes. I too struggled with a lot of the things you have spoken about and it does get better, it just seems insurmountable when you are starting out. You are already taking a step forward by doing these videos, one step at a time.
Feel you ...no one identify us.... lonely and useless....but hey,try to prove they are wrong, being positive,you are the best,we are all the best!!!Come on!!!
I'm just an absolute stranger who's just passing by but if there's anything you think I can help, let me know. I'm only 37 and I don't claim to have any wisdom but I sure can listen :)
Sorry if I see in a too simple manner here... If your parents do not support you when it comes to fulfilling yourself, why don't you just not care whatever your parents may think. Be the boss of yourself and do not attach so much importance in anyone's opinion whoever they may be. This is your life and only YOUR life. You can still be there for your parents and love them as much, but it is fundamental to also live for you. Time flies and you do not want to one day have regrets because you didn't try because you stopped yourself because of others. You need to dare and try doing what you like, you know where your interests are, go towards sthg you want to do. Then professionally you may fail a few times before you succeed and this is fine, a lot of successful people have failed many times before being successful. Because for most of us it takes time to finding what truly fulfils us. But with every fail you learn and develop, either personally or professionally or both, and each fail turns into a success as long as you have tried. No regrets of not trying. But who doesn't try doesn't get. It is so fine not to know what you want at 25, but it takes trying. Dude I want you to be happy, please push yourself to build your life without thinking too much, the more you do the more things will come into place naturally, and the more you will be proud of what you achieve and get to know what you want.
there are 2 of us here to help guide you. If you want the help I do not know how this shit works but let us know.we can tell you our stories which will make your head spin.but we are here together with no family support.survive.it can be.awaken.put the parents on a ship and send it away.they think we are crazy and they are the misguided generations.and know 2021 is the worst.they did it to me my entire life.you are 25,do not take the abuse and move on.FUCK THEM.DO YOU.YOU HAVE THE AWNSERS IN YOUR HEART.THEY LEFT ME TO STARVE IN THE CITY WITH ILLNESS and they are rich.
“You” are “me” twenty years ago at about the same age. There are a lot of answers I figured out on my own. If you want to talk, go ahead and send a short response to this. If not, I wish you the best.
It sounds like you have bought into negative messages from your parents. You don't need your parents' approval. Maybe one or both are narcissists. If you live with them, that can be destructive. Having even a basic job that allows you to rent a studio apartment or even a room is crucial. You cannot get blood from a stone! You're a grown man now--not a child. They shoot you down to keep you dependent on them. It's a sick cycle that only you can break and the first step is becoming financially independent if you still live at home so you can get away from that toxic influence.
Andy!!! their you are! :) sorry if I haven't reply back to you, I had really bad internet connect for some reason I last it :( so yeah sorry! how are you doing by the way! :) you said you had a instagram account that I could find you and chat there?
no it gets harder as we get older there’s nothing easier than being a kid/teen not having to worry or think about how we’re going to survive and grow as adults
Sounds like your parents are toxic people. Limit the time you are spending with them and find people who support you. It is going to be hard at first but you will grow from that and eventually will feel better.
My Niece left her home in the Midwest and all by herself moved to
Los Angeles. Because of bad family support.
She was only 18 years old. But she
Made it!
Your best bet is to save some money and when you have what you think you'll need for 2-3 months.
Just go make your own future as
You see fit. The best advice will come from people who are already doing what you'd like to do.
People are more Generous than you might think. Ask them for a few minutes of their time and have your questions ready.
Or try going to see a College student counselor and ask them for some help.
You are a handsome young man and once you are out on your own, the
Need for advice will push aside what you call social shyness.
Go with what you feel the most passion about, and your mind and
Your heart will make your goals a
Reality! May God bless you!
Keep us posted!
Hope this helps!
Thank you so much for reaching out and for the advice and encouragement, I appreciate it more than you might think!!
@@andyheideman5618
Your home life experience has been primarily negative. But, they may also love you so much that they don't want to see you leave home.
As the saying goes, "If you keep repeating the same actions ( like with your family) you can't expect a different response."
Stay true to Yourself, it's Your life now, to make of it what you will. As you grow into your choice of profession, you will meet others and make friends. There are more guys like "Andy" out there, just be yourself and chose wisely. You Know your own mind, keep your focus and the future is Yours to grab!
Best of luck 🍀🍀🍀
God bless you on your journey!
Thanks for your reply! 😃
Can totally relate. Parents that don't want to parent. They only want to be a critic.
I feel you on this. My parents were the same, saying I couldn't do something, I'm not the person who can do this. I cut them off at some point, because I'd rather be alone than being exposed to the poison they spew,,over and over again. It was hard, but I've never been happier in my life. Go do you man, may you find that happiness in life.
There is no need to cut them off ,it's just he can have relationship with them and at the same time learn to ignore their advices about how he can't handle something new he wants to start and learn to live without their encouragements which he needs and they can't give .
@@alexG-xj7ff that’s right. I don’t believe in cutting the cord between others, I just limit my time with them.
I can relate to your pain caused by ineffective, toxic parents. I chose a college 250 miles away from my home to escape the destruction they were causing me. After graduation, I moved even farther away. I surrounded myself with people who were positive, caring & had their acts together. I learned how to live life on my own terms, make my own decisions, & find success. I am thankful for the good people who have helped me along life's journey. Andy, it is possible for you to move own & make a great life for yourself. A guy who expresses himself as well as you do, and has good insight into the problems of his family, has the potential to make the improvement you desire.
You should try therapy mate. It’s unconstitutional for anyone to grow up in a toxic environment.
Some family need to be loved from a distance. You need to face some real truths, maybe they can't give you the guidance you need. Bless you and good luck. Don't stagnate, you need just one person to believe in you, find them. xx
I think your the man. Keep your head up and make yourself proud brother.
Thanks for reaching out, I appreciate it more than you might think!
Hey man I’m in the same boat as you and I’m creeping in my mid 30s. Just take it a day at a time and know you are not the only one. I have been dealing with social anxiety and have no friends which has occurred at a young age because of minor developmental difficulties in school which held me back a lot and kept me from fitting in with groups so I know it’s hard.
You should try therapy.
You’ve got to do you bud ! You have to live your own life - try everything that you want .. enjoy your 20’s - it’s not for then , it’s for you , they should be happy for you to be happy
Thanks for reaching out and for the advice!!
My parents have been doing this a lot to me recently. I Can’t get work after graduating university and they do bring you down sometimes I can totally relate. It gets to a point when they pile tons of pressure on you and it does really get to you ripping away your confidence. There are times when they are supportive but I think they get so worried that they do lash out at the wrong times.
You should try therapy. It’s unconstitutional for your parents to be lashing out at you like that.
hey andy..............your not alone.....many young adults have this....its a crazy time...adding covid to the mix...
Keep your head up. You are awesome!!
Thanks for the encouragement, I appreciate it more than you think!!
Your final words are spot on. You’ll have negatively throughout your life but you just have to ignore it and do you, because yes you can. It worked for me, I used to listen to the negativity and it got me nowhere. Then one day I decided not to tell the nay sayers what I was going to do and now I have a house and my own business. I never thought I could do it because of miserable assholes telling me I couldn’t.
I so feel for you and my experiences with my parents were very difficult. Like you, I felt stuck.
One day, I got so fed up and I walked away from my father. I didn't speak with him for 3 years (until my grandfather was in the hospital, and even then I restricted the discussions only to my grandfather's updates).
I knew going to college was super important to me. So I got out a couple of the college and university catalogues, ran through the indexes, made mental notes as to what I kept coming back to...signed up to start my education, loved what I was learning, made a bit of an adjustment of the diploma (not to science and math based)...
I was studying for my anatomy and physiology exam; my father asked to see the book/subject I was studying...he was floored! He then said he would never doubt my abilities again - he was blown away as to what I was learning. I finally felt vindicated.
Sometimes one has to walk away from the negative people and negative thoughts...push through it and you will succeed.
You should try therapy.
@@judgeholder8112 You're hilarious!
@@oceangirl18 Yes I am!
I think you're experiencing what many young people find out - parents are flawed and don't have all the answers. Sometimes when you feel like you need them the most that's when they let you down, not on purpose, but because they can't make decisions for you. Perhaps the lack of support you're feeling is one of the first real tests of who you are as a man and whether you can stick to the goals you set for yourself. Your parents will be gone one day whether you fail or succeed. Follow your interests in hobbies, college, career path. You'll be proud to stand on your own two feet and be a rock of support to wife and kids.
Aww! Seeing you cry made me want to hug you through the screen. You seem like such a sweetheart! I know how hard social anxiety can be (I still haven't figured mine out yet haha), but it's nice to see that you still have the drive to try
I just found your channel, and this video made me feel so bad. I am sorry you are feeling like this, and I hope things get better for you. You can do anything you put your mind to, have confidence in yourself and like you said you can make your own happiness. You're young, nice looking and have a great personality. I am rooting for you ✌🙂
Thanks for reaching out, I really appreciate the encouragement!!
Andy, we grew up with many beliefs like family has to be there for you and they have to support you, family can also be people not relate to you. Like many comments in here you know what the answer is go and find it own your own, make your own path and you will discover your strengths, new ways to see life, meet other people that will help you in different ways. Andy you have a good vibe about yourself and in the future you will know that you made the right decision, and how you are feeling right now it will be just the past. I will really like to help you with some guidance and encouragement if you like. You can do and be anything you want. When you are ready make the first step.
Armando
Hey Armando, thanks for watching, I really appreciate it! You're right, I can find my own path and just starting to realize that now at 25 and with people like you reaching out and sending encouragement it goes a long way so thank you!
@@andyheideman5618 anytime. Dont be hard on yourself, we come to this life to learn and figure things out. Live the moment one day at a time. If you have anything you want to ask, get out of your chest, guidance, etc take care.
remember....never give up on yourself ok....touch base ok.............
Sometimes, when i feel down and lost , just talking about it with my therapist helps . It's awesome the fact that you are saying all out loud , but i think it would be good for you to have someone who can help you understand yourself and say things that confort you and that you need to hear . Stay strong . I am rooting for you !
Hi hey Andy! Hope things are starting to go better and better for you just like they are for me! You and I are still in the very same boat when it comes to something like this. Big hugs! 🤗🤗❤️❤️
Thanks for reaching out! Glad to hear things are going good for ya! Just remember you're never alone!
You're very very welcome! 🤗🥰😌🥰 Aww thank you for all of the very very kind words! I knew you would be glad to hear that about me! I will do my best to remember that no matter what! You're always a very sweet and caring and awesome guy! I'd love to be a friend of yours!
@@andyheideman5618 You are always a really good guy Andy! Hope you're doing okay!
Well, what is it that you enjoy doing? What are your hobbies. It’s so hard to make it in these times without parental support. It’s hard, but sometimes it’s best to create a separation between yourself and your parents and live life on your own terms.
Hi Andy, your parents are probably very worried and don’t know how to help you, I’m sure it’s not their intention to hurt you but they probably are trying to protect you. I don’t know where you live and if it’s a small community, but maybe it’s time to have a go at making a life for yourself, sometimes parents always see you as a child and not a young adult ready to make your own decisions and mistakes.
I too struggled with a lot of the things you have spoken about and it does get better, it just seems insurmountable when you are starting out. You are already taking a step forward by doing these videos, one step at a time.
Andy I'm the same age and word for word I'm the same as you, I dont have the answers but what I will say is ur not alone bro
Thanks for reaching out and for the encouragement!!
Hope you're feeling better,
Still not where I want to be but each day gets a little better!
you're a good dude, do more videos mate.
Feel you ...no one identify us.... lonely and useless....but hey,try to prove they are wrong, being positive,you are the best,we are all the best!!!Come on!!!
I'm just an absolute stranger who's just passing by but if there's anything you think I can help, let me know. I'm only 37 and I don't claim to have any wisdom but I sure can listen :)
I would suggest checking out Gary Vee , Alain de botton , Jordan Peterson these 3 helped me a lot figuring things out
Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it!
Sorry if I see in a too simple manner here... If your parents do not support you when it comes to fulfilling yourself, why don't you just not care whatever your parents may think. Be the boss of yourself and do not attach so much importance in anyone's opinion whoever they may be. This is your life and only YOUR life. You can still be there for your parents and love them as much, but it is fundamental to also live for you. Time flies and you do not want to one day have regrets because you didn't try because you stopped yourself because of others. You need to dare and try doing what you like, you know where your interests are, go towards sthg you want to do. Then professionally you may fail a few times before you succeed and this is fine, a lot of successful people have failed many times before being successful. Because for most of us it takes time to finding what truly fulfils us. But with every fail you learn and develop, either personally or professionally or both, and each fail turns into a success as long as you have tried. No regrets of not trying. But who doesn't try doesn't get. It is so fine not to know what you want at 25, but it takes trying.
Dude I want you to be happy, please push yourself to build your life without thinking too much, the more you do the more things will come into place naturally, and the more you will be proud of what you achieve and get to know what you want.
Thanks for reaching out and for the positivity and words of encouragement, I really appreciate that!
Same situation here brother. Wat to do, all i can do is cry in my bedroom. Am also 25
there are 2 of us here to help guide you. If you want the help I do not know how this shit works but let us know.we can tell you our stories which will make your head spin.but we are here together with no family support.survive.it can be.awaken.put the parents on a ship and send it away.they think we are crazy and they are the misguided generations.and know 2021 is the worst.they did it to me my entire life.you are 25,do not take the abuse and move on.FUCK THEM.DO YOU.YOU HAVE THE AWNSERS IN YOUR HEART.THEY LEFT ME TO STARVE IN THE CITY WITH ILLNESS and they are rich.
“You” are “me” twenty years ago at about the same age. There are a lot of answers I figured out on my own. If you want to talk, go ahead and send a short response to this. If not, I wish you the best.
Hey thanks for reaching out, I really appreciate it!!
God bless you buddy! Allow savior JESUS to guide you! We have authority in Jesus name!
Bruh
Amen
It sounds like you have bought into negative messages from your parents. You don't need your parents' approval. Maybe one or both are narcissists. If you live with them, that can be destructive. Having even a basic job that allows you to rent a studio apartment or even a room is crucial. You cannot get blood from a stone! You're a grown man now--not a child. They shoot you down to keep you dependent on them. It's a sick cycle that only you can break and the first step is becoming financially independent if you still live at home so you can get away from that toxic influence.
just dont let it consume you ok...........try and focus on things that interest you...or a talent ...ok
You can do it. Just dont tell them. Go do it. Your an adult now.
Thanks for reaching out! And that's what I've learned is just going and doing things and I've been happier that way!
maybe a field helping others.............
You're not alone, you should watch Garyvee content. It will change your life
Andy!!! their you are! :) sorry if I haven't reply back to you, I had really bad internet connect for some reason I last it :( so yeah sorry! how are you doing by the way! :) you said you had a instagram account that I could find you and chat there?
Hey Kimberly! No worries, it's all good! Yeah my username thingy is heidandr on instagram if you wanna find me there! :)
@@andyheideman5618 ok i found you on instagram
let me know if you want to connect...ok.....................dan
❤️❤️❤️
It gets easier bro as get older
no it gets harder as we get older there’s nothing easier than being a kid/teen not having to worry or think about how we’re going to survive and grow as adults
Sounds like your parents are toxic people. Limit the time you are spending with them and find people who support you. It is going to be hard at first but you will grow from that and eventually will feel better.
Thanks for reaching out and for the advice!!