Professor, thank you for sharing your knowledge. I'm going to start a master's degree in psychology and the topic is narcissism. With the entire study, I would like to say that its content is among the most enlightening and thought-provoking. I read every indication of text/articles and videos that you mention. I do intend to delve into this complex and divided universe. I don't want to proclaim myself knowledgeable or an expert, I just want to not proliferate nonsense. Grateful
It's probably one of the best descriptions of this mechanism. It is the second time I have been listening, and I need this pad and scribble this information. Thank you, professor
Wow did my ears perk up from this introduction! Anyway, thank you Sam, for the comprehensive yet clear information on defense mechanisms. I don't trust any channel, other than yours, for clarity on these concepts.
Yes I done things out of my character. I dismissed my supervisor with BPD. Avoidance copy is my stumbling block - I procrastinate by delaying to deal with an issue .? .. I wanted to talked about and sincerely apologize ; admitting I was wrong I did but I could not blur the words she expected me to say. Begging her -I needed to give myself permission . A second confusing acting out , it went like so” I was disrespectful and I showed her I can be much worse with improper responses . If someone elite was mean to me I would confront this individual and spell out to she/he being insensitive towards me. She gave me such a look she could not believe it. Today my new roommate projecting , she goes “ I expect something from her but she insists - she is suffocating me with her excessive attention : she repeatedly tells me she has my back ,she is so good to me and welcomes me in her world.? She is fake ,uses charm to confuse and expects reciprocity and take advantage asking you to buy her something and does not pays you . I can’t stand it. From my end a second time I will not give her favors. She is playing the victim blame shifting .
This explains why my MIL would drop her poison on me every now and then, she felt relieved when she projected on me. When I stopped visiting, she found someone else.
Yeh, and we hope that they will learn where they went wrong, *see* that your reaction to their comment was a logical predictable consequence. But they don't, they don't need you to be still in their life to continue with the process of attributing bespoke failings to you. Funnily enough your alleged failings *perfectly* disguise their selfishness and lack of empathy.
Yes, she kept sending poison from afar. Imagining new offenses and using flying monkeys to convey her message. Even on her funeral, she found someone who conveyed all the grievances I had caused her.
Dear Prof. Sam Vaknin, normally I don´t like to use titles, but in your case I like doing it, you deserve your title in my humble opinion. If it is possible, is there a video out there, about going on ghost mode traveling to another country and leaving everyone behind to start fresh and would you recomend this for a person who beliefs that he is sourounded by a sick family system and sees no way to break free?
@@Dystopia2024 Thanks. I am really considering it. Could you give some advice on how to do it best? Did you go totally no contact to all your old friends and family or did you still keep one or two contacts and how was it to start all over? Looking back would you have done it again? And after a time, a fex years or so, did you start having contact again or did you leave everyone behind for good?
@@kellyhaggett3978 I am already in the planing stage. I tried to explain things for years to my parents but I finally realized that there is no way to change anything except to change myself and that is easiest done in a totally new environment.
I really appreciate the clarity with which you described the various defense mechanisms outlined. It was both interesting in and of itself and informative. One question I had related to the unconscious, which you mentioned.. I have never thought of the unconscious housing solely "bad" experiences. I thought of it in part as housing perhaps untranslatable experiences possibly because one was too young to be able to decipher events or experiences or emotions at the time. Is it the general consensus in the field of psychology that it is the repository of solely negative experiences?
Brilliant and fascinating. Makes me ask 'Is there such a thing as wholeness, which appears to be the opposite of splitting? Or is the quest for wholeness a quixotic windmill itself a byproduct of splitting? Is rhe best we can hope for a consonance of parts and a kind of humility in the face of dissonance or conflict?
So professor this makes sense and correct me if im wrong. When considering splitting and dyad. When in a relationship the more you love and treat a person with BPD good, the more they feel bad internally. And sooner or later they split and project in order to get away from that anxiety of feeling bad. So they make you the bad person?? And im trying to figure out the equivalant of when someone treats them bad. Seems as if there is a threshold either way of when they are treated good and bad. But the bad treatment is probably more tolerable because of the fear of abandonment
Good morning. I would like to ask a question in case you can and want to help me. I realized that everything I think, feel and do, has a positive and negative impact. Having said that, how can I know anything. Thanks.
Thanks for the video, do you have any recommendations regarding Fairbairn suggestions of splitting? Because that description rings so true of my childhood experience.
Interesting topic...wondering when u speak of splitting in children or adults with adverse childhood?is these what others call reparenting those divided states....is there possibility to merge through theraphy those didided parts of libido xxxxxxxx parts...?
I hate to bring up a certain presidential candidate from Queens, NYC, but can he be truly projecting when he doesn’t seem to feel any guilt whatsoever? Same thing for rationalization . He is “always right”. How can we know how much guilt or shame he ( or anyone else) secretly feels when it seems he feels none? The terms projection and rationalization seem to fit him to a tee. In fact, he seems to be a textbook example. But is it possible that without the guilt defense element he isn’t really projecting in the classic sense? Maybe just in the expedient sense only? Anyway, just curious. Enjoying your channel and your sense of humor and delight.
The process isn't consciously reached decision, like realizing the trash of his secret feelings has piled up and scheduling a speech to get rid of them. It's continual and proportionate to the level of inner dissonance, or so I think.
"Daddy is back" 😂😂😂 the best. Love your videos, you are the best. Thank you for your gift of expert knowledge and humor
Professor, thank you for sharing your knowledge. I'm going to start a master's degree in psychology and the topic is narcissism. With the entire study, I would like to say that its content is among the most enlightening and thought-provoking. I read every indication of text/articles and videos that you mention. I do intend to delve into this complex and divided universe. I don't want to proclaim myself knowledgeable or an expert, I just want to not proliferate nonsense. Grateful
Thanks sir, for quality councelling and setting our psychological healing on right path...
It's probably one of the best descriptions of this mechanism. It is the second time I have been listening, and I need this pad and scribble this information.
Thank you, professor
Wow did my ears perk up from this introduction! Anyway, thank you Sam, for the comprehensive yet clear information on defense mechanisms. I don't trust any channel, other than yours, for clarity on these concepts.
You're the only online psych professional I trust 😊❤
Thank you, professor. For sharing the valuable knowledge about projection, rationalization, and splitting.
Wow. That was a brilliant finish. Thank you, Sam. Pick right back up here please in a part 2.😊
This is really good and im wondering too.A example is not confronting them with this cause they cant see it.
Excellent
You are very super intelligent. Thank You.
Thank you, Professor. Appreciate your deep knowledge and insight.
As they say in Nursing
Little knowledge is dangerous.
Thank you Prof Sam.
Very informative
Yes I done things out of my character. I dismissed my supervisor with BPD. Avoidance copy is my stumbling block - I procrastinate by delaying to deal with an issue .? .. I wanted to talked about and sincerely apologize ; admitting I was wrong I did but I could not blur the words she expected me to say. Begging her -I needed to give myself permission . A second confusing acting out , it went like so” I was disrespectful and I showed her I can be much worse with improper responses . If someone elite was mean to me I would confront this individual and spell out to she/he being insensitive towards me. She gave me such a look she could not believe it. Today my new roommate projecting , she goes “ I expect something from her but she insists - she is suffocating me with her excessive attention : she repeatedly tells me she has my back ,she is so good to me and welcomes me in her world.? She is fake ,uses charm to confuse and expects reciprocity and take advantage asking you to buy her something and does not pays you . I can’t stand it. From my end a second time I will not give her favors. She is playing the victim blame shifting .
This explains why my MIL would drop her poison on me every now and then, she felt relieved when she projected on me. When I stopped visiting, she found someone else.
Yeh, and we hope that they will learn where they went wrong, *see* that your reaction to their comment was a logical predictable consequence. But they don't, they don't need you to be still in their life to continue with the process of attributing bespoke failings to you. Funnily enough your alleged failings *perfectly* disguise their selfishness and lack of empathy.
Yes, she kept sending poison from afar. Imagining new offenses and using flying monkeys to convey her message. Even on her funeral, she found someone who conveyed all the grievances I had caused her.
God I just love you so much 😂😂😂
Thankiess for this video Professor!
Dear Prof. Sam Vaknin, normally I don´t like to use titles, but in your case I like doing it, you deserve your title in my humble opinion.
If it is possible, is there a video out there, about going on ghost mode traveling to another country and leaving everyone behind to start fresh and would you recomend this for a person who beliefs that he is sourounded by a sick family system and sees no way to break free?
Been there, done that. Yes, it is possible and beneficial in my experience. The ultimate no-contact.
@@Dystopia2024 Thanks. I am really considering it. Could you give some advice on how to do it best? Did you go totally no contact to all your old friends and family or did you still keep one or two contacts and how was it to start all over? Looking back would you have done it again? And after a time, a fex years or so, did you start having contact again or did you leave everyone behind for good?
Best idea you have ever had. ❤
@@kellyhaggett3978 I am already in the planing stage. I tried to explain things for years to my parents but I finally realized that there is no way to change anything except to change myself and that is easiest done in a totally new environment.
I really appreciate the clarity with which you described the various defense mechanisms outlined. It was both interesting in and of itself and informative. One question I had related to the unconscious, which you mentioned.. I have never thought of the unconscious housing solely "bad" experiences. I thought of it in part as housing perhaps untranslatable experiences possibly because one was too young to be able to decipher events or experiences or emotions at the time. Is it the general consensus in the field of psychology that it is the repository of solely negative experiences?
In Psychoanalytic schools, it is.
MASTERFUL !
Brilliant and fascinating. Makes me ask 'Is there such a thing as wholeness, which appears to be the opposite of splitting? Or is the quest for wholeness a quixotic windmill itself a byproduct of splitting? Is rhe best we can hope for a consonance of parts and a kind of humility in the face of dissonance or conflict?
Integration.
So professor this makes sense and correct me if im wrong. When considering splitting and dyad. When in a relationship the more you love and treat a person with BPD good, the more they feel bad internally. And sooner or later they split and project in order to get away from that anxiety of feeling bad. So they make you the bad person?? And im trying to figure out the equivalant of when someone treats them bad. Seems as if there is a threshold either way of when they are treated good and bad. But the bad treatment is probably more tolerable because of the fear of abandonment
That intro😅😭😂
Good morning. I would like to ask a question in case you can and want to help me. I realized that everything I think, feel and do, has a positive and negative impact. Having said that, how can I know anything. Thanks.
Professor Vaknin, could you make a video about the biggest misconceptions regarding IQ?
Search the channel.
I'm dead. I can't with you. 🤣
Thanks for the video, do you have any recommendations regarding Fairbairn suggestions of splitting? Because that description rings so true of my childhood experience.
Interesting topic...wondering when u speak of splitting in children or adults with adverse childhood?is these what others call reparenting those divided states....is there possibility to merge through theraphy those didided parts of libido xxxxxxxx parts...?
Search the relevant playlists.
I hate to bring up a certain presidential candidate from Queens, NYC, but can he be truly projecting when he doesn’t seem to feel any guilt whatsoever? Same thing for rationalization . He is “always right”. How can we know how much guilt or shame he ( or anyone else) secretly feels when it seems he feels none? The terms projection and rationalization seem to fit him to a tee. In fact, he seems to be a textbook example. But is it possible that without the guilt defense element he isn’t really projecting in the classic sense? Maybe just in the expedient sense only? Anyway, just curious. Enjoying your channel and your sense of humor and delight.
The process isn't consciously reached decision, like realizing the trash of his secret feelings has piled up and scheduling a speech to get rid of them.
It's continual and proportionate to the level of inner dissonance, or so I think.
If you look at their behavior as DARVO, it because scarily obvious - every accusation is a confession.
Get your head out of the gutter so mine can roll by