I'm a cis male homosexual. "Do you want to go back to being straight?" I was never straight in the first place. My whole process of accepting myself as a gay man was the most difficult part of the whole process. Yeah, just don't ask those questions.
People with disabilities get a lot of the same comments/questions, like "you're so brave" and "how do you have sex?" It's incredibly frustrating as well
At least people are trying to be nice in a weird way, of course because they don’t really understand people who aren’t your run-of-the-mill person. So if you have any differences like you’re queer or disabled, etc most people who aren’t bigoted and don’t really know much, but are seeking to understand might say stuff like that.
@@acaciakapusta8921 and I agree with you unless you’re like a doctor or some thing dealing with a sex related injury so you gotta ask it happened. But some people tend to forget that just because the person is different than them does it mean if they aren’t person.
@@acaciakapusta8921 yeah but the point is that the person is likely not trying to be disrespectful and if you aren’t trying to be disrespectful and you don’t press something when somebody gets uncomfortable I say you’re fine in my eyes
one time my gf said that she likes cis males and she finds them attractive and i was right beside her but then she said but i love u and i still think about it every single day
What’s wrong with saying that somebody is handsome or tall but as soon as you say “for a ____” after any compliments, it makes it seem like it’s backhanded
Thank you for this , being from an "older" generation I'm always worried about saying something wrong or in a wrong way. I don't want to be rude in any way, I just don't understand everything... yet :) .
I agree and I’m trans , I’m old school it’s just a congenital birth condition to me ,medical not all this hoopla,but I see there must b change, I was used to the quietness
One thing I hate as a gay man is , when someone learns your gay, they ask are you a top or bottom? My answer is, It's none of your business. Would you ask your straight friends what they do in bed?
@@korvaamiko66 and that also depends I know some people who are very open about that type of stuff and they love talking about it and other people who are afraid to even use the autonomically correct word for genitals
Fabulous perspectives, well considered responses. As you point out, some of the questions may not be coming from a nasty place, but oh boy, lacking in sensitivity to be sure. Looking forward to the upcoming episodes you mentioned here.
I asked my friend if he was trans which I now know I shouldn't have. I also bought up some other sensitive questions like 'When did you know?', 'Who was the first one you told?' and 'Were you scared?'. I think me bringing up these topics hurt him and Idk what to do next.
Awww next time you can just say to them before asking “I want to be there for you and know more about your process and transition, so if you’re open to it I’d love to hear the parts your comfortable sharing” and that way it’s on them and you don’t go too far for what they specifically are comfortable with. Everyone’s different :) but you can just check in with them and be honest and say I wasn’t aware those might be sensitive questions and I’m sorry if I triggered you:) and thennn maybe say the thing above ^ just be honest and kind, you’ll be alright :))
@@SamSwitz Thank you. That's some very good advice. I'll keep that in mind but I don't think I'll ask him about his transition again because it seems like he would rather not talk about it.
I just came out, and I got the brave comment a lot. It didn't really bother me, but I do agree with what you said here. Luckily I haven't gotten a genitals/sex question yet.
The "YOu're so brave" indeed! It's like.... I didn't have a choice? I wouldn't have made it this far otherwise? Thank god I'm not the only one thinking this :D
I wish we could be friends. I relate to this so much! I have a rigid orientation and I am getting a lot of hate from the trans community because my orientation is very rigid and not fluid, but I feel this isn’t a choice for me and it just feels bad hearing that I’m not valid for it. The worse thing is, if I had a choice, I would choose a fluid orientation. It just doesn’t work that way for me. It’s like non-LGBT people feel if we are valid, it hurts or somehow threatens their own validity so they attack us for it and I feel like terfs and those who hate people with rigid orientations... it’s the same thing. It’s like somehow my personal truth isn’t valid because my validity somehow hurts or threatens their own validity and it’s the SAME B.S. and it’s NOT TRUE. Why can’t we just say, someone knows themselves best and someone else’s truth should simply be valid and their truth has nothing to do with my truth. Why can’t that just be the thing. Everyone’s personal truth should just be valid. I really don’t understand this inner-community prejudice against differences. It’s super unhelpful. So people should not say other trans people are “transphobic” for expressing the truth about themselves that they are stuck with a rigid orientation instead of a fluid one. That shit sucks and it’s hurtful.
Honestly, I think it depends on the context for some of these. Asking or saying these things casually when it’s not relevant to the conversation like how you would ask for someone’s name or where they’re from probably wouldn’t be the best though. Based on what I’ve learned, it’s more about context and connotation and less about what you say. Context could make anything appropriate and it could also make anything inappropriate. Everybody’s different, and some people might be fine with these questions while others might not. I feel like comment has taken on a bad connotation. Commenting isn’t bad in itself but commenting in a negative light is and if a trans person asks you how they can pass better. I think it would be fine to tell them. Commenting on someone’s appearance isn’t necessarily bad. It’s only bad when it’s negative or it’s in a bad taste. As an autistic person, I’ve learned that if you’re not sure just hold off and watch what other people do and just use your words carefully and think about how you think they’d be perceived, and how you feel if they were said to you. If you feel kind of iffy about something and you can’t find a good reason to say it then just don’t say.
And yet, the whole PURPOSE of the transition process is to become "cis passing', otherwise, there would be no reason to physically change anything because gender is supposed to be a "social construct."
Isn’t that the Volvo because if you look like you were assigned sex, people aren’t going to refer to you or treat you like how you want unless you tell them.
I have friends who never bring up the fact that I’m trans unless they’re drunk, and then they’ll say stuff about how “brave” I am. I get that they’re being supportive but it’s kinda cringe. I’d rather they just let me bring it up (I never bring it up) Edit: I typed this before Sam even got to the you’re so brave part of the video. LOL glad I’m not the only person who gets triggered by this phrase
I had a male college professor who transitioned from M2F. After transitioning, he began to date lesbian women. This, I cannot understand. I thought he would have dated straight men.
When I had first discovered the whole world of being queer, I had said some questionable things that make people think I was transphobic or something even though I was just naïve and the kid who didn’t really know anything about trans people I never really truly said anything like the things describe in this video, though even though I’m autistic and I’m not on the same level of social understanding as everyone else 😂
Yeah when I told my aunt she literally said. Why can’t you just be gay? And she said why can’t I wait til grandma dies?… yeah… she didn’t take this well. And I’m 34 and pre T but I also have Mild Intellectual Disability. So she’s my guardian.
Yeah, most of these people asking these questions are just trying to be nice and understanding and are generally curious and not trying to purposely offend you.
At least, most of the people who say these things are trying to be understanding and learn more instead of just being bigots and condemning you to hell💀
adding some more things not to say/ask to a transgender people 1. Do you menstruate? 2. Do you get pregnant? can you give birth? 3. Your voice sounds so feminine/masculine. 4. Are you biologically boy/girl? Are you a boy/girl? 5. You were not like this before. why did you change? 6. What bathroom do you use? 7. Aren't you just lesbian/gay? 8. You are just following a trend of cutting hair short and wearing boys' clothes. 9. Aren't you just a crossdresser? 10. what pronouns do you use?
Do you have a girlfriend? Do you get rejected by women often for being trans? If you do well with women that is a huge deal...many men are insecure about their man peice and technically you dont have one so it would be insperational if you are confident with the ladies...just saying. Its like if i can do it then whats your excuse kind of thing.
This is just a question for you, from a baby trans: are there any parts of your transition that you regret? If so, what are they? Ppl are telling me I'll regret transitioning and I'm kinda scared
Oh god…. Do you think you’ll ever “go back” ummmm let me think… NO NO nnooooooooo! Why would any trans man want to go back. Dear lord, these are the things nightmares are made of.
The way you look gives me euphoria because damn you are hot and so handsome. I want to look similar to you/ gives me an outcome I could achieve similarly
You’ve have a lot of ⚽️🏀🏈⚾️🎱 to put your life and pictures past and present online for others specially trans folk, and be helpful,subjecting yourself to hateful odious comments, 🦄💪💪💪
two things: what a cutie you are! This video makes it sound like the whole concept of being transgender should never be brought up at all until you become friends. Just never talk about it.
Not necessarily. Just don’t bring stuff up like that unless it’s relevant to the conversation or the context. Like I met a trans person once when I was waiting for my ride and they instantly began to talk to me about their identity. I think it just depends on the person.
Don't do this, don't do that, GOD why can't trans people just worry about themselves and stop trying to control what everybody does and says! Just be yourself and leave other people alone.
I'm a cis male homosexual. "Do you want to go back to being straight?" I was never straight in the first place. My whole process of accepting myself as a gay man was the most difficult part of the whole process. Yeah, just don't ask those questions.
Something that IS okay to say to trans people: would you like this slice of pie?
People with disabilities get a lot of the same comments/questions, like "you're so brave" and "how do you have sex?" It's incredibly frustrating as well
At least people are trying to be nice in a weird way, of course because they don’t really understand people who aren’t your run-of-the-mill person. So if you have any differences like you’re queer or disabled, etc most people who aren’t bigoted and don’t really know much, but are seeking to understand might say stuff like that.
@@blackqweenmars any stranger asking any person how they have sex is not nice or respectful in any way. Just my opinion
@@acaciakapusta8921 and I agree with you unless you’re like a doctor or some thing dealing with a sex related injury so you gotta ask it happened. But some people tend to forget that just because the person is different than them does it mean if they aren’t person.
@@acaciakapusta8921 yeah but the point is that the person is likely not trying to be disrespectful and if you aren’t trying to be disrespectful and you don’t press something when somebody gets uncomfortable I say you’re fine in my eyes
one time my gf said that she likes cis males and she finds them attractive and i was right beside her but then she said but i love u and i still think about it every single day
Geez... read the room lmao
I’m really sorry that happened to you.
so sorry man
you’re worthy never forget it
I love your channel Sam. I am a straight female, not trans and I think your channel is helping me learn how to be a better person so much! Thank you!
Old classmate: isn't it easier to be gay (thinks that i'm a lesbian).
Me ( a gay trans guy): uumh that not how it works🤨
jess dijkhuis omg same
You said it ALL!
Someone said that my long hair looks too female. That just makes me wanna grow it longer.
Also a thing not to say: you are tall/handsome ..... for a trans guy
Finn backhanded compliments
or short
What’s wrong with saying that somebody is handsome or tall but as soon as you say “for a ____” after any compliments, it makes it seem like it’s backhanded
Thank you for this , being from an "older" generation I'm always worried about saying something wrong or in a wrong way. I don't want to be rude in any way, I just don't understand everything... yet :) .
I agree and I’m trans , I’m old school it’s just a congenital birth condition to me ,medical not all this hoopla,but I see there must b change, I was used to the quietness
One thing I hate as a gay man is , when someone learns your gay, they ask are you a top or bottom? My answer is, It's none of your business. Would you ask your straight friends what they do in bed?
Idk some people are close to their straight friends like that
@@korvaamiko66 it’s crazy that y’all are just responding to my replies on this video like months later
@@korvaamiko66 and that also depends I know some people who are very open about that type of stuff and they love talking about it and other people who are afraid to even use the autonomically correct word for genitals
Your energy is contagious! And, thank you for making this video. More people need to know these things you shouldn't say.
Fabulous perspectives, well considered responses. As you point out, some of the questions may not be coming from a nasty place, but oh boy, lacking in sensitivity to be sure. Looking forward to the upcoming episodes you mentioned here.
I asked my friend if he was trans which I now know I shouldn't have. I also bought up some other sensitive questions like 'When did you know?', 'Who was the first one you told?' and 'Were you scared?'. I think me bringing up these topics hurt him and Idk what to do next.
Awww next time you can just say to them before asking “I want to be there for you and know more about your process and transition, so if you’re open to it I’d love to hear the parts your comfortable sharing” and that way it’s on them and you don’t go too far for what they specifically are comfortable with. Everyone’s different :) but you can just check in with them and be honest and say I wasn’t aware those might be sensitive questions and I’m sorry if I triggered you:) and thennn maybe say the thing above ^ just be honest and kind, you’ll be alright :))
@@SamSwitz Thank you. That's some very good advice. I'll keep that in mind but I don't think I'll ask him about his transition again because it seems like he would rather not talk about it.
I just came out, and I got the brave comment a lot. It didn't really bother me, but I do agree with what you said here. Luckily I haven't gotten a genitals/sex question yet.
I probably wouldn't say any of those but it's good to know what things not to say.
Thanks for sharing this Sam. Love hearing what you have to say. 🌿🙏🏿
Thanks Samuel! Very helpful. I love your emotional honesty and sense of humor.
There are RUclipsrs out there reverse transitioning, maybe that is increasing how often that question gets raised.
The "YOu're so brave" indeed! It's like.... I didn't have a choice? I wouldn't have made it this far otherwise? Thank god I'm not the only one thinking this :D
I wish we could be friends. I relate to this so much! I have a rigid orientation and I am getting a lot of hate from the trans community because my orientation is very rigid and not fluid, but I feel this isn’t a choice for me and it just feels bad hearing that I’m not valid for it. The worse thing is, if I had a choice, I would choose a fluid orientation. It just doesn’t work that way for me. It’s like non-LGBT people feel if we are valid, it hurts or somehow threatens their own validity so they attack us for it and I feel like terfs and those who hate people with rigid orientations... it’s the same thing. It’s like somehow my personal truth isn’t valid because my validity somehow hurts or threatens their own validity and it’s the SAME B.S. and it’s NOT TRUE. Why can’t we just say, someone knows themselves best and someone else’s truth should simply be valid and their truth has nothing to do with my truth. Why can’t that just be the thing. Everyone’s personal truth should just be valid. I really don’t understand this inner-community prejudice against differences. It’s super unhelpful. So people should not say other trans people are “transphobic” for expressing the truth about themselves that they are stuck with a rigid orientation instead of a fluid one. That shit sucks and it’s hurtful.
Don't stress your looks. You are a hot looking guy. Take it from a gay guy. Very attractive.
Thats kinda str8
Thank you for sharing; always seeking better ways to communicate with everyone. 🥰 Love spending time with you.
Honestly, I think it depends on the context for some of these. Asking or saying these things casually when it’s not relevant to the conversation like how you would ask for someone’s name or where they’re from probably wouldn’t be the best though. Based on what I’ve learned, it’s more about context and connotation and less about what you say. Context could make anything appropriate and it could also make anything inappropriate. Everybody’s different, and some people might be fine with these questions while others might not. I feel like comment has taken on a bad connotation. Commenting isn’t bad in itself but commenting in a negative light is and if a trans person asks you how they can pass better. I think it would be fine to tell them. Commenting on someone’s appearance isn’t necessarily bad. It’s only bad when it’s negative or it’s in a bad taste. As an autistic person, I’ve learned that if you’re not sure just hold off and watch what other people do and just use your words carefully and think about how you think they’d be perceived, and how you feel if they were said to you. If you feel kind of iffy about something and you can’t find a good reason to say it then just don’t say.
Thank you for making this video!!! I’m going to show this to some cis people who don’t quite understand! You are a godsend!!
I really don't like the whole "WOW I would've never known you were trans!" because it feeds into the whole cis passing culture.
And yet, the whole PURPOSE of the transition process is to become "cis passing', otherwise, there would be no reason to physically change anything because gender is supposed to be a "social construct."
tbh i think it’s essential to acknowledge that “passing” is an important factor for trans people
Isn’t that the Volvo because if you look like you were assigned sex, people aren’t going to refer to you or treat you like how you want unless you tell them.
Hey congrats on your years on T! I’m starting T VERY SOON! Super excited!!!!
I have friends who never bring up the fact that I’m trans unless they’re drunk, and then they’ll say stuff about how “brave” I am. I get that they’re being supportive but it’s kinda cringe. I’d rather they just let me bring it up (I never bring it up)
Edit: I typed this before Sam even got to the you’re so brave part of the video. LOL glad I’m not the only person who gets triggered by this phrase
I’ve been asked that about when I decided to transition… I didn’t think to say it’s not a decision. I just say I’ve known since I was a kid
“Wouldn’t it be easier to be gay?” Bitch I’m bi. Didn’t help shit
Damn your gorgeous!
I had a male college professor who transitioned from M2F. After transitioning, he began to date lesbian women. This, I cannot understand. I thought he would have dated straight men.
Just like cis people can be straight, gay, etc. trans. People can be the same.
When I had first discovered the whole world of being queer, I had said some questionable things that make people think I was transphobic or something even though I was just naïve and the kid who didn’t really know anything about trans people I never really truly said anything like the things describe in this video, though even though I’m autistic and I’m not on the same level of social understanding as everyone else 😂
Yeah when I told my aunt she literally said. Why can’t you just be gay? And she said why can’t I wait til grandma dies?… yeah… she didn’t take this well. And I’m 34 and pre T but I also have Mild Intellectual Disability. So she’s my guardian.
The only thing I agree with in this video is not asking about people's genitials
I also want to believe that most ppl are nice in their own way :>
Yeah, most of these people asking these questions are just trying to be nice and understanding and are generally curious and not trying to purposely offend you.
At least, most of the people who say these things are trying to be understanding and learn more instead of just being bigots and condemning you to hell💀
Pretty sure I’ve got a handle on it, still haven’t got the gist of “cis”
adding some more things not to say/ask to a transgender people
1. Do you menstruate?
2. Do you get pregnant? can you give birth?
3. Your voice sounds so feminine/masculine.
4. Are you biologically boy/girl? Are you a boy/girl?
5. You were not like this before. why did you change?
6. What bathroom do you use?
7. Aren't you just lesbian/gay?
8. You are just following a trend of cutting hair short and wearing boys' clothes.
9. Aren't you just a crossdresser?
10. what pronouns do you use?
why is asking someone their pronouns a no-go for you?
I would have to disagree with a few of these, such as the pronouns one, like isn’t that one of the first things you should ask a trans person?
So attractive 😍
Hey man youre really brave.and yes youre a very handsome guy.
Omg
Sam J Baker (if that still ur last name 🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️)
And
Sam J Collins
Lol not much but same first two initials and both trans youtubers.
Haha I love him!!!
i totally agree w you on the 2nd sentence
Ive got the well why dont you wait and explore one. Like i know their heart is in the right place but no duh thats kinda the idea.
Thank you Sam!
Do you have a girlfriend? Do you get rejected by women often for being trans? If you do well with women that is a huge deal...many men are insecure about their man peice and technically you dont have one so it would be insperational if you are confident with the ladies...just saying. Its like if i can do it then whats your excuse kind of thing.
Exactly
Thats informative!👍 I've learnt most straight men don't like being called Cis, it annoys the crap out of them!😉
Great Video Sam!!! Thank You!!! 👍😎💯
This is just a question for you, from a baby trans: are there any parts of your transition that you regret? If so, what are they? Ppl are telling me I'll regret transitioning and I'm kinda scared
You are valid and you know what is right for you. If you don't know yet, take your time. 🌊
Could you make a video on what to say to trans people?
Yesterday I was asked "why do you want to be a girl"...
how to send this to them without sending this to them
I missed this video-but when I see a trans person, then I'm comfortable with them. They are free to be themselves around me.
The hat looks much better forward 😊
Bro someone asked me if I had a birthday for my transness As a joke, and I said, "June 5th"
I've gotten "wouldn't it be easier to just be straight".
The person who told you this is next level of uneducated
So do I call you Mr Bates or Mr Bill or is it Norman or Buffelo?
im a transgender mtf non o.p. i think this applies to both ways,and i honestly attracted to transmen. i love this very informative video.
What is non o.p.?
@@danataylor9507 means I never took any surgery to get the female genetalia.
@@marjgonzales8521 thank you for the explanation.
I find you so appealing, if only I were 35 years younger!
Hey! Thanks for another video ☺️
Your and I have the same first name
Wow well your really handsome!🥰
Oh god…. Do you think you’ll ever “go back” ummmm let me think… NO NO nnooooooooo! Why would any trans man want to go back. Dear lord, these are the things nightmares are made of.
The way you look gives me euphoria because damn you are hot and so handsome. I want to look similar to you/ gives me an outcome I could achieve similarly
Only thing that made me mad is when was in Vegas, I had some cis ass hat have security stop me and ask where do you use the bath room
You are such a nice person
I couldn’t stop staring at the fish
Which fish?
Thanks for this handsome. I appreciate it. It's hard to date as a trans person
Ive just started a channel about being a young trans athlete is anyone is interested! Will be posting twice a week!!
I felt like i was in the body of a woman until i was born .
You are so handsome. ❤❤❤
YES. Don’t say these things to us! Lol I get at least on of these on the daily. Or they call me “it”. “YoU’Re GaY iF yOu dAte a TrANsGeNdErEd”
You’ve have a lot of ⚽️🏀🏈⚾️🎱 to put your life and pictures past and present online for others specially trans folk, and be helpful,subjecting yourself to hateful odious comments, 🦄💪💪💪
two things: what a cutie you are! This video makes it sound like the whole concept of being transgender should never be brought up at all until you become friends. Just never talk about it.
Not necessarily. Just don’t bring stuff up like that unless it’s relevant to the conversation or the context. Like I met a trans person once when I was waiting for my ride and they instantly began to talk to me about their identity. I think it just depends on the person.
This video is amazing! 🤣🤣🤣 people really ask this shit? What's your real name is crazy 😅🤣
Just like he said at the end of the video, most people are probably just naïve and don’t really know how to approach trans people
Plot twist: Sam's real name is Samuelicus.
Ok
saying Wow your hands are so big/small
YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE MEET KEVIN. Fr look up Meet Kevin on youtube.
I will say all of these
Ur cute
Don't do this, don't do that, GOD why can't trans people just worry about themselves and stop trying to control what everybody does and says! Just be yourself and leave other people alone.
Did you even watch the whole video? He’s just trying to tell people about how to be more respectful towards trans people.