Small Soldiers - Nostalgia Critic

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  • Опубликовано: 8 июл 2016
  • Dumb things come in small packages. The Nostalgia Critic reviews 1998's Small Soldiers. Originally aired on August 12th, 2014.
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Комментарии • 4,1 тыс.

  • @Chaserbeastofblades
    @Chaserbeastofblades 4 года назад +579

    You know what would've been the perfect line for when he killed Chip? "Consider this your dishonorable discharge!" That works sooooooo much better.

    • @FatherTime89
      @FatherTime89 4 года назад +40

      That’s a pretty good one liner for the situation, I honestly don’t know if anyone could top that

    • @adamloga3788
      @adamloga3788 4 года назад +30

      @@FatherTime89 Closest I've got is a play on "Batteries not Included."

    • @sleepykitty8918
      @sleepykitty8918 4 года назад +16

      O_O
      That was gold!

    • @djivoodoo1751
      @djivoodoo1751 3 года назад +26

      If they would've left out the "You stupid toy!" it would've been perfect. Chip kicks Archer to the ground and says "Victory is ours!" then Allen says "Have I got a shock for you!" grabs Chip and places him in the transformer. Would've been a great one liner pun but "You stupid toy!" ruined it.

    • @jackcutter2
      @jackcutter2 3 года назад +9

      Gross. Discharge

  • @NoTodoEsArte1
    @NoTodoEsArte1 8 лет назад +4433

    This is the kind of movie you watched as a kid and tried to remember its name for the rest of your life

    • @biff.
      @biff. 8 лет назад +115

      Lol just remembered the movie by reading the title.

    • @bergonath8851
      @bergonath8851 8 лет назад +13

      God damn, Kurosawa looks like a giant.

    • @themarvin01
      @themarvin01 8 лет назад +92

      It was one of my favorites. I had two of the gorgons and like three of the soldiers.
      God did the marketing work and I wanted them all of course.

    • @sammcdonald8407
      @sammcdonald8407 8 лет назад +12

      I can't agree with you anymore

    • @EVO6-
      @EVO6- 8 лет назад +9

      EXACTLY

  • @bryanegelhoffsanimationtec257
    @bryanegelhoffsanimationtec257 4 года назад +512

    R.I.P. Dick Miller.
    Also, one detail the movie made was that the Commando toys, (except for Tommy Lee Jones), were voiced by actual veterans of the army, navy, etc.

    • @fockingreat1125
      @fockingreat1125 4 года назад +37

      That's actually some good trivia

    • @hansruhlmann454
      @hansruhlmann454 3 года назад +46

      It was also the last performance from Phil Hartman.

    • @karma92sims14
      @karma92sims14 3 года назад +3

      Interesting

    • @mibevan
      @mibevan 3 года назад +20

      RIP phil heartman. this was his last movie

    • @surferguy1974
      @surferguy1974 2 года назад +2

      Jim Brown served in the military?

  • @TheQuashingoftheTub
    @TheQuashingoftheTub 5 лет назад +617

    Not gonna lie, the animation and puppetry still impresses me to this day.

    • @sonnygivens4549
      @sonnygivens4549 3 года назад +24

      Yea I thought coming into this video I would be surprised at how bad it looked even tho I still loved the movie as a kid ...but you're totally right it looks really good even in 2021 like I said I was expecting something closer to how the first toy story looks today,. But it definitely isn't like that at all...when small soldiers first came out it scared the shit out of me it wasn't until a few years later that i watched it again and it became my favorite VHS I owned. Also that barbie being chipped and tying the kid down scene made 7 or 8 year old me feel very at the time unexplainably weird ... LOL I now know what was happening to me hahaha I think those scenes were the first time 10 year old me really started to see girls in a little bit of a different way lol

  • @vicenteortegarubilar9418
    @vicenteortegarubilar9418 6 лет назад +738

    I honestly love the ending when the gorgonites are in their ship trying to find their home. I always felt it was an emotional moment for me.

    • @EmpireRamzes
      @EmpireRamzes 4 года назад +13

      agreed, if only we all could have such a moment

    • @d3ltaris83
      @d3ltaris83 4 года назад +19

      I always just thought that they eventually sank and short circuited ,and to this day still rest at the bottom of the river

    • @LegitMan335
      @LegitMan335 4 года назад +8

      Vicente Ortega Rubilar me too it’s a beautiful scene, Archer and the Gorgonites are pure hearted toys

    • @SupportGamin2024
      @SupportGamin2024 4 года назад +1

      @Bad Cattitude you can't really use the word die when it comes to toys/robotic like beings.

    • @nicktechnubyte1184
      @nicktechnubyte1184 3 года назад +5

      This is a perfect movie to me!
      Nothing can convince me otherwise!

  • @bolbyballinger
    @bolbyballinger 5 лет назад +562

    I absolutely loved the contraptions the soldiers made.
    A nail gun turned into a machine gun?
    Freaking AWESOME!

    • @tacoman6293
      @tacoman6293 4 года назад +31

      I honestly dont like how he went in on this movie it was far from being bad. I always thought the design for the remote control cars with all the weapons on it was really cool. Also the Barbie scene was so clever idc what anyone says

    • @RequiemPoete
      @RequiemPoete 4 года назад +14

      @@tacoman6293 It's still a severely flawed movie. It's still highly entertaining though.

    • @ChimeraMK
      @ChimeraMK 4 года назад +11

      @@tacoman6293 Can you elaborate on how the Barbie scene was clever? I found it a little odd that the soldiers painted on camo underwear and how they were somehow able to mass produce the military chips.

    • @spectredeadgaming7874
      @spectredeadgaming7874 4 года назад +4

      Tacoman The main bulk of the video is to make fun of the movie just take it with a grain of salt it’s entertaining. But at the end of the video he summarized how he really feels about the movie all jokes aside. He even does this with movies he loves a lot it just jokes for the most part.

    • @thescottishgiant855
      @thescottishgiant855 3 года назад +3

      They nailed it

  • @Wertsir
    @Wertsir 5 лет назад +1578

    I unironically love this movie.

    • @wowgek7
      @wowgek7 4 года назад +45

      same

    • @tacoman6293
      @tacoman6293 4 года назад +86

      This was my favorite movie growing up so im a little salty that he has issues with it

    • @apex2000
      @apex2000 4 года назад +18

      That's fair, but it has it's flaws & lost potential.

    • @RequiemPoete
      @RequiemPoete 4 года назад +27

      @@tacoman6293 The movie is awful, but it's the good kind of the awful.

    • @brandonbonett6416
      @brandonbonett6416 4 года назад +5

      Same

  • @hayo_hru
    @hayo_hru 5 лет назад +295

    The Commando Elite vs Gorgonites idea would've been a great cartoon show and would have spawned dozens of toy opportunities if done right

    • @TheNoble117
      @TheNoble117 3 года назад +23

      Honestly as a kid it felt like He-man vs gi joe .

    • @TheSweetser69
      @TheSweetser69 3 года назад +2

      What is Avatar?

    • @LittleAl016
      @LittleAl016 2 года назад +4

      @@TheNoble117 More like He-Man vs COBRA.

    • @powerist209
      @powerist209 2 года назад +12

      We call that Warhammer 40k.
      Especially if you have Space Marines and Imperial Guard against Orks, Eldars, or Tau.

    • @hayo_hru
      @hayo_hru 2 года назад +1

      @@powerist209 true, but i was more thinking something made for kids, 40k definitely isn't made for kids lmao

  • @cheezemonkeyeater
    @cheezemonkeyeater 6 лет назад +280

    "They're not shielded from EMP. A nuclear blast would wipe them out."
    I'm pretty sure a nuclear blast would wipe out everything.

    • @mugsmctuggs1318
      @mugsmctuggs1318 3 года назад +19

      "They're not shielded from EMP. A nuclear blast would wipe them out."
      So you mean we should use an EMP then?
      "Oh uh, yea that's what I meant."

    • @trix10101
      @trix10101 3 года назад +5

      Twinkies would survive...

    • @DanteKrystal
      @DanteKrystal 2 года назад +2

      Roaches tho

    • @cheezemonkeyeater
      @cheezemonkeyeater 2 года назад +3

      @@DanteKrystal Roaches would die in a nuclear blast. It's just the fallout they'd survive.

  • @johnalogue9832
    @johnalogue9832 8 лет назад +659

    Fun fact: The original Toy Story was almost canceled because Woody was originally a horribly unlikable and mean character. Pixar had to rewrite the movie before Disney would continue funding it! I think this movie is what it would be like if Pixar never rewrote Toy Story.

  • @wizagab
    @wizagab 5 лет назад +183

    This movie had everything. Amazing looking characters to get as figurines, your first girl crush, action scenes with battles, what do you want more ? Also, the concept started by "The Indian in the cupboard" was so enticing to me, having been a lone child who spent so many hours playing with figurines and making up dialogues and plots in my head.

    • @calebmauer1751
      @calebmauer1751 4 года назад +5

      Same, even the Indian in the Cupboard part.

    • @Zerpderp0
      @Zerpderp0 2 года назад +5

      Unironically me too. Loved this movie and the battle at the end was the cherry in my opinion. Though I do agree with NC that it was a missed opportunity to have other Major Chip Hazards commanding squads with the main one being the general of the army. I mean they already ripped off Patton

    • @Aethryx
      @Aethryx 2 года назад +6

      I can't wait for the modern reboot, "The Indigenous Person of Color in the Cupboard"

  • @ScruFaceJeanOfficial
    @ScruFaceJeanOfficial 3 года назад +334

    They explained why the Gorgaknights were so Timid it’s a pretty big part of their whole creation story. 🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @jinhunterslay1638
      @jinhunterslay1638 3 года назад +15

      Which is?
      (I’m too lazy to look it up and read through the plot)

    • @vanburnjackson
      @vanburnjackson 3 года назад +5

      This is random M

    • @futurehistoryarchaeologist4480
      @futurehistoryarchaeologist4480 3 года назад +83

      @@jinhunterslay1638 they were supposed to be kid friendly educational toys, but when they were assigned the role of the soldier's enemy, they were literally designed to hide and lose.

    • @jinhunterslay1638
      @jinhunterslay1638 3 года назад +33

      @@futurehistoryarchaeologist4480 oh, so it's programmed into their personality?

    • @futurehistoryarchaeologist4480
      @futurehistoryarchaeologist4480 3 года назад +20

      @@jinhunterslay1638 More or less

  • @TheApoke
    @TheApoke 8 лет назад +657

    *I've always hated these things*
    "Then why do you collect them"
    Ever heard of Amiibos?

    • @Karoku2100
      @Karoku2100 8 лет назад +38

      It's the opposite for me: I love amiibos, but I hate collecting them (cause some fall into scalper's hands).

    • @DantesGrill
      @DantesGrill 8 лет назад +1

      +Karnera Mythos It's not like they're that rare though. A lot of the amiibos scalpers bought i order to earn money are still available in stores for standard prices.

    • @ssjichigo666
      @ssjichigo666 8 лет назад +6

      but the ones karnera is refering to is the limited release once like lucario, marth, etc, I'm still trying to find a mega man

    • @yugoxgc
      @yugoxgc 8 лет назад +13

      her parents bought them for her. Seriously shes in her early teens of course she didn't buy any of them not hard to guess mommy wanted her daughter to have a set. So that collection says a lot about her mother. ... I kinda want to meet her

    • @Karoku2100
      @Karoku2100 8 лет назад +2

      Ssj Ichigo Right, and I happen to have Mega Man, as well as his gold version (but that's because I love the classic series and I have the collection for the 3DS). I also have Rosalina, Wii Fit Trainer, and Lucina, to name a few. I nabbed Callie & Marie on release day. Surprisingly, they were available for pre-order. They won't be for long, so I'm glad I secured my purchase.
      Amiibo-hunting is a dangerous game, lemme tell ya.

  • @mickdipiano8768
    @mickdipiano8768 3 года назад +88

    Are you fucking kidding? Small soldiers was amazing. It's a beloved classic.

  • @charliedawson4877
    @charliedawson4877 5 лет назад +440

    Are you scared?
    We're all scared.
    You'd have to be crazy not to be scared.
    This went Apocolypse Now real quick.

    • @Jozhster
      @Jozhster 4 года назад +8

      I actually use that quote many times

    • @TheHalflingLad
      @TheHalflingLad 3 года назад +4

      @@Jozhster Questions, so many questions...

    • @Jozhster
      @Jozhster 3 года назад +4

      Vsevolod Shipitcyn I just like using random movie quotes in my vocabulary

    • @justanobadi6655
      @justanobadi6655 3 года назад +6

      you'd think it was a reference, but oddly enough it's not

    • @kruller
      @kruller 2 года назад +3

      I LOVE how fucked up this entire sequence is.

  • @bigbaddawg101
    @bigbaddawg101 5 лет назад +270

    In the movie it was kind of explained how the Gorgonites got put as the enemy. The Gorgonites were the first toy pitch and the CEO didn't really go for it, but decided that the Commandos needed something to fight. I guess when programming the toys they kept the original story and personality for the Gorgonites which comes off as passive.
    And I just realized I'm beginning to care way to much about this movie.

    • @lethargictroll6788
      @lethargictroll6788 4 года назад +9

      I thought the same thing, thank you for typing it out

    • @hardcoreking52
      @hardcoreking52 4 года назад +15

      That's fine, I like Doug, but this was a weak review.

    • @TheHalflingLad
      @TheHalflingLad 3 года назад +22

      That's the thing: this movie is way too endearing, I feel the exact same way. The script may be unfocused, but I'll be damned if I ever cared, because the art design is too cool and the supporting cast has way too much personality. The main characters may be dumb even, but the commandos are just too much fun to watch, so I barely even noticed anything else.

    • @hardcoreking52
      @hardcoreking52 3 года назад +7

      @@TheHalflingLad As a kid, I loved the Commando's, still do. They steal every scene they're in.

    • @kylemendoza8860
      @kylemendoza8860 3 года назад +2

      @@hardcoreking52
      I like the movie. Maybe I'm giving it some free passes because my childhood. But I think he made some good points. The whole Barbie thing is a little weird.

  • @MasterAnakinSkyWalker
    @MasterAnakinSkyWalker 6 лет назад +489

    Fun fact:
    Kirsten Dunst appeared in the Spider-Man trilogy, while Denis Leary appeared in The Amazing Spider-Man series.

    • @ATSaale
      @ATSaale 5 лет назад +12

      Relevant

    • @endergeek236
      @endergeek236 4 года назад +9

      @Iafiv Iv bet you're fun at parties

    • @endergeek236
      @endergeek236 4 года назад +3

      @Iafiv Iv touche. I can respect that. Though technically, I'm an adult.

    • @ExistencialistaAntiHumanista
      @ExistencialistaAntiHumanista 4 года назад +1

      We all did recognize her later in the Spider-Man movies

    • @ronweasley9001
      @ronweasley9001 3 года назад

      16 year old kristen dunst seems- oh no, the fbi is here

  • @ChannelAwesome
    @ChannelAwesome  8 лет назад +1222

    Devil Boner Hype!

    • @Shad_Amon
      @Shad_Amon 8 лет назад +16

      yes the hype of DEVIL BONER!!!!!!

    • @Derpsider
      @Derpsider 8 лет назад +5

      mine always shrinks after I see a re upload ):

    • @ilcool90
      @ilcool90 8 лет назад +28

      He needs he's own series

    • @lavornewilliams413
      @lavornewilliams413 8 лет назад +1

      lol yeah hypee!!

    • @jaccuse4086
      @jaccuse4086 8 лет назад +5

      One time we threw a firework into the firepit that lets out a "snake" of ash ascending towards the heavens. However, seeing as it was growing out of a firepit it looked more like hell so I called said firework "Satan's Boner".

  • @JustinStinoStamosZamora42
    @JustinStinoStamosZamora42 5 лет назад +139

    19:06 "I've always hated these things!"
    Nostalgia Critic: "Then why the hell do you collect them?"

    • @jonathanshields7414
      @jonathanshields7414 4 года назад +23

      Parents forcing their normative behavior on kids? I’m no SJW but I didn’t think this was that modern of a conflict. I think the OP misses the mark on this, not that it matters.

    • @kookycoconut
      @kookycoconut 3 года назад +5

      Yeah I watched the video too

    • @Eidolon1andOnly
      @Eidolon1andOnly 3 года назад +9

      To be fair, as a small kid I was into old Superman cartoons and my parents thought I was really into Superman so told all my relatives and their friends that if they couldn't think of a good gift idea they can always go with something Superman related and I'd love it. As a small kid it worked out fine, but as I grew older I wasn't into the character as much any more. Now I'm in my 30s and I still get gifted Superman shit. I can see the same lazy type of gifting leading to this teen girl having a Barbie collection. Although I never hated Superman, I did get tired of Superman gifts. I had other interests, but I was reduced to "the kid who loves Superman".

    • @keshiaanders6452
      @keshiaanders6452 3 года назад +7

      Must've been either hand-me-downs or unwanted gifts from relatives.

    • @tarfielarchelone2674
      @tarfielarchelone2674 3 года назад +2

      My sister has my grandmom and moms collection.
      My daughter has my wife's dolls but she doesn't like them either.

  • @Jell-E
    @Jell-E 4 года назад +93

    This was one of my favorites growing up. I had most the gorganites. I had the really big Archer that said his movies quotes lol. I had no idea this was considered a bad movie. It’s a childhood classic in my mind.

    • @zellrang
      @zellrang 2 года назад +10

      Same, there are still a lot of people who loves it, don't let other people change your mind :)

  • @ZoeyStarLady
    @ZoeyStarLady 8 лет назад +597

    Yess, Small Soldiers is a childhood favourite of mine.

  • @KimberlySchwartz1
    @KimberlySchwartz1 6 лет назад +233

    I used to get collector Barbie dolls from a relative when I had never asked for them. I would have them up on a shelf in my room mainly because I didn’t know what else to do with them. So I completely understand why she has them up in her room without liking them.

    • @cjwrench07
      @cjwrench07 4 года назад +17

      Kimberly Schwartz My sister had that happen to her too. It wasn’t until she was 17 that the Barbie collectables stopped.

    • @annesmith280
      @annesmith280 4 года назад

      I’m assuming your barbie Dolls never tied you up and stuffed a sock in your mouth though?😂

    • @SjofnBM1989
      @SjofnBM1989 4 года назад +13

      @@jemofthe80s18 yeah my grandma bought me a new porcelain doll every year for my birthday and I had to keep them because my parents told me if I didn't have them displayed prominently when Grandma came to visit it would hurt her feelings.

    • @Eidolon1andOnly
      @Eidolon1andOnly 3 года назад +7

      When I was a small boy I was really into Superman, so my parents told all my relatives and friends that they could get me anything Superman related and I would love it, and despite outgrowing that character, and despite being a grown adult in his 30s, I still get gifted Superman stuff. Albeit it transitioned from toys to clothing, I still get Superman stuff to this day. My mom still swears by it, and I really don't have the heart to tell her to stop. Honestly her reaction to me receiving the gift is more precious than the actual gift itself.

    • @floppsymoppsy5969
      @floppsymoppsy5969 2 года назад +2

      Yup collectables forced on us by relatives wanting to live vicariously through toy purchases... I guess that was mainly a girl's experience. My mom was obsessed with getting my sister and I porcelain baby dolls. (shiver)

  • @mackfarlainethebarenakedau5113
    @mackfarlainethebarenakedau5113 Год назад +35

    This was one of my childhood favorites. Hard to believe it's been 25 years

  • @VanguardJester
    @VanguardJester 5 лет назад +39

    7:22
    you know, the skit at this timestamp here could actually be done very cleverly for a hero-villain dynamic. The villain is deceiving and putting on this facade of being harmless, if not downright charming. While the hero, though not exactly a knight in shining armor, is honest with who he is and holds no shame in presenting himself for you to fully see and judge on your own terms.
    i wouldn't mind a show or book about that kinda concept!

    • @cj854
      @cj854 11 месяцев назад +7

      Berserk

    • @nickthepick8043
      @nickthepick8043 10 месяцев назад +1

      That'd be an interesting concept for a comic adaptation of the war between the Gorgonites and the Commandos.

  • @demonssinglosongs
    @demonssinglosongs 6 лет назад +513

    'Normal Good Looking Boy Who for some Reason is still an Outcast'
    The sad reality of high school.

    • @blackdiamond9636
      @blackdiamond9636 6 лет назад +12

      That Generic Smash Player tru dat

    • @jacksongibbs8998
      @jacksongibbs8998 6 лет назад +25

      I was that kid, except I had a mouth bigger than Tyrion Lanister and a sense of humor that was at best a combination of Adam Sandler, and Bugs Bunny.

    • @kameronhall4448
      @kameronhall4448 6 лет назад +6

      Jackson Gibbs You too?!

    • @angeleaterstudios1004
      @angeleaterstudios1004 5 лет назад +8

      Being currently in high school, i can confirm this statement exactly. Except I'm kinda chunky in the gut area. But other than that I'm a general freakishly tall teenage boy who has been outcastes for no real reason other than I make dark humor memes.

    • @chrishansen8119
      @chrishansen8119 5 лет назад +9

      Yall are probably outcasts because you dont talk to anyone. Confidence is key

  • @jagarcia0705
    @jagarcia0705 6 лет назад +346

    7:28 Awesome! Devil Boner's first appearance! *HE'S CHILD FRIENDLY!!*

    • @lordkarasu2263
      @lordkarasu2263 4 года назад +1

      jagarcia0705 is it?

    • @victorconway444
      @victorconway444 4 года назад +6

      *I'M SOFT AND CUDDLY!!*

    • @LegitMan335
      @LegitMan335 4 года назад +1

      jagarcia0705 put me on a cereal box!

    • @I_am_Mazki
      @I_am_Mazki 4 года назад +1

      i would legitimately watch a show with the hero being devils boner kinda like a hero nobody likes but he is a hero anyway kinda thing

  • @chloegoodwin2482
    @chloegoodwin2482 11 месяцев назад +19

    "It's not good to take something marketed as innocent and cute and make it tortuous and scary"
    I love that Doug managed to get to the point that the movie is trying to make but tripped into it in the most insane, ignorant and backwards way possible and without actually realizing that was the point of the movie.
    In case anyone doesn't realize, the filmmaker is satirising marketing war and violence for consumerism, that's why the soldiers are the bad guys and why the movie is intentionally creepy and off-putting with surprisingly realistic violence being inflicted on the toys.

    • @TIMMUT17
      @TIMMUT17 4 месяца назад +1

      You hit the nail on the head with that one (No pun intended)

  • @briangardner7180
    @briangardner7180 4 года назад +63

    Not gonna lie...... This was my favorite movie as a kid and still is one of my favorites.

  • @dakotakade3547
    @dakotakade3547 8 лет назад +137

    I honestly loved Small Soldiers when I was little. It was like a more toned down Gremlins, other than that insane barbie scene. That shit was traumatizing.

    • @tdkfangirl
      @tdkfangirl 8 лет назад

      Exactly!

    • @noahcampbell8785
      @noahcampbell8785 8 лет назад

      +Callutts same!

    • @Neseirik
      @Neseirik 8 лет назад +7

      I always loved the movie. the barbie scene never bothered me. I still have it on VHS :) none of my friends had any idea that the movie existed. I tried talking to htem about it and they would always tell me I must have made it up

    • @Wolfmoonsword
      @Wolfmoonsword 8 лет назад +6

      I'm glad I'm not the only one whom, upon seeing this review, remembered the fucking creepy barbie doll scene shit lol.

    • @ciminod
      @ciminod 7 лет назад

      i liked this movie too i like having the toys destroying shit in movies

  • @0123renee
    @0123renee 6 лет назад +462

    Because I have to make this joke...
    YOU! ARE! JUST! TOOOOOYYYYS!!!! You aren't the real Small Soldiers, you're... DAAAH, you're just action figures! You... are a _child's... playthings!_

    • @98953812
      @98953812 5 лет назад +23

      @Tim Henke Oh yeah?! Well, good riddance, ya loonies!!

    • @t.lanfield1936
      @t.lanfield1936 5 лет назад +8

      24AMPER you are a sad strange little man. And you have my respect.

    • @nine_tails137
      @nine_tails137 5 лет назад +4

      +Lucas Pospeshil It's a Toy story reference.

    • @noahblair3020
      @noahblair3020 5 лет назад +2

      Good riddance ya loonies!

    • @noahblair3020
      @noahblair3020 5 лет назад +4

      YOU. ARE. A. TOY!!!!!

  • @noahblair3020
    @noahblair3020 5 лет назад +25

    Devilboner: the movie
    Rated r starts this friday
    “Sometimes appearances can be deceiving, yet he’s the hero”

  • @megamovieman101
    @megamovieman101 4 года назад +49

    With Small Soldiers I thought there was more mileage to be had from the soldier characters, they actually ended up being more popular than the Gorgonites.

    • @hardcoreking52
      @hardcoreking52 2 года назад +3

      They stole so many scenes, the little war card they made were awesome.

  • @Salmon_Samurai
    @Salmon_Samurai 8 лет назад +191

    Genuinely surprised Devil Boner isn't a Borderlands character or boss.

  • @purpleemerald5299
    @purpleemerald5299 6 лет назад +140

    Are you scared?
    We're all scared...
    *...You'd have to be crazy not to be scared.*
    Me: "Oh, good. So my new-found nightmares are justified then..."

    • @alexestrada2757
      @alexestrada2757 5 лет назад +7

      Label this under "Things not to say in bed"

    • @LadyOnikara
      @LadyOnikara 2 года назад +2

      Yep, and I thought my Teddy Ruxpin doll in 1985 was scary. If I had a toy like Chip back then, I would STILL be living in a padded cell writing home with crayons. (Well, sometimes I do, but it's completely voluntary.)

    • @LadyOnikara
      @LadyOnikara 2 года назад +1

      Yep, and I thought my Teddy Ruxpin doll in 1985 was scary. If I had a toy like Chip back then, I would STILL be living in a padded cell writing home with crayons. (Well, sometimes I do, but it's completely voluntary.)

  • @mikehenderson7907
    @mikehenderson7907 5 лет назад +42

    The new Child's Play has the same plot as this, with the military chip bullshit.
    This did it better though. Somehow...

  • @kelvingoce7587
    @kelvingoce7587 5 лет назад +17

    “So Archer goes into the DANGER ZONE!!!, you were all waiting for it I caved in” 😂 that line always cracked me up

  • @woodwoo9466
    @woodwoo9466 7 лет назад +258

    'like, oh my god, this is totally Sparta.'- Nostalgia Critic 2016

    • @useless2232
      @useless2232 6 лет назад +4

      wood woo This review came out in 2014

    • @stefanm.734
      @stefanm.734 6 лет назад +4

      I honestly think that would have been a great line if it had been included.

  • @gamerhero9559
    @gamerhero9559 7 лет назад +9

    14:46 That horrified look on NC's face is priceless!

  • @rooster5146
    @rooster5146 5 лет назад +65

    NO small soldiers was great

  • @bryanrizzo9377
    @bryanrizzo9377 4 года назад +25

    Allens dad-"How do you explain this?!"
    Allen-"I was dusting it and it fell over."
    Allens dad-"Oh you were dusting with what a Crokay Mallet?"
    This is in the scene where Allens dad goes to check on him at the store and he notices something wrong with the wooden sailboat and the sail snaps off. The dad cracks me up in that scene.

    • @Eidolon1andOnly
      @Eidolon1andOnly 3 года назад

      *Allen's dad (apostrophe)
      *croquet mallet

  • @pastelsunset
    @pastelsunset 7 лет назад +53

    I have one thing that came from Dreamworks to counter this movie
    The Road to El Dorado

  • @dnaidentheperson6497
    @dnaidentheperson6497 6 лет назад +287

    The Barbie part was like something from the dark web.😂

  • @notmakingcontent
    @notmakingcontent 5 лет назад +42

    YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE RODEO BURGER!

    • @316whatupz
      @316whatupz 3 года назад

      BUT WHAT'S BEYOND THAT? 😂🤣

    • @Puki9117
      @Puki9117 3 года назад

      @@316whatupz [INSERT CLICHE HERE]

  • @bulbasaur1534
    @bulbasaur1534 5 лет назад +13

    7:40 around: "PUT ME IN A CEREAL BOX"!
    I would do that, if in power sir, that sounds incredibly dope, perhaps instead we give you a movie instead?

  • @Bobman-ml5qf
    @Bobman-ml5qf 7 лет назад +54

    21:32 I loved the extra soldier that said: "Great balls of fi-" *dies*. That made me laugh, more of chuckled.

  • @MovieLover1995
    @MovieLover1995 7 лет назад +109

    This movie is Gremlins, Toy Story, and Child's Play all put in a blender.

  • @emmathestonedspider8676
    @emmathestonedspider8676 4 года назад +48

    I love how the mom sees this and automatically assumes he is on meth

  • @breffaloco
    @breffaloco 5 лет назад +55

    my top 5 favorite movies as a kid No joke....this movie had everything haha
    1. toys
    2. Toys vs toys
    3 Toys turn into a army and begin there world domaination plan lol.

  • @TheKML777
    @TheKML777 8 лет назад +7

    22:57 I have a better bad-ass finishing line for that situation:
    "You are dishonorably discharged."

  • @mazdaford8547
    @mazdaford8547 8 лет назад +136

    i assumed all the barbies were made the same to be cheaper to animate i guess, not sure why they had to be in their underwear tho, maybe just shove them in some military camo

    • @johnalogue9832
      @johnalogue9832 8 лет назад +34

      Well, if they wanted to put them in army-themed costumes...they probably would've given them army costumes because there are probably Barbie outfits like that already and it would look pretty awesome. They DEFINITELY just wanted underwear Frankenstein Barbies for some weird reason.

    • @010203109
      @010203109 7 лет назад +4

      Well gee, clothes that give no protection and hinder movement unlike the painted on ones on the action figures? Sure, put those back on to make a scene that's supposed to be just plain freaky attempt to be funny and end up confusing.

    • @HushpuppyJas
      @HushpuppyJas 6 лет назад +2

      Matt Lionrider you're putting too much thought into it

  • @Comrade_Jason
    @Comrade_Jason 5 лет назад +63

    To review this film fairly, you need to go be a 90s kid again. It was pure fun, didn't treat kids with kids' gloves and had a rather serious (and unintentional?) message about AI and not abusing technology. I thoroughly enjoyed the movie as a kid, and I still had some of the toys till not too long ago. As an adult, yeah it's gonna be shit. But as a kid? It's everything I wanted in a movie

    • @Emisop
      @Emisop 5 лет назад +5

      Treating it fairly means not acting like a 90's kid. Because kids liked everything.

    • @maxieprimo2758
      @maxieprimo2758 4 года назад +2

      To review this film fairly, you have to ignore it's flaws.

    • @yanuchiuchihaanimegamesand3907
      @yanuchiuchihaanimegamesand3907 4 года назад

      @@Emisop no, i remember being a kid and watching godzilla final wars...
      that shit was horrible

    • @cthulhufhtagn2483
      @cthulhufhtagn2483 4 года назад

      *thinks of Barbie dolls* You liked some straaaange things as a kid.

    • @theitfactorjameswheezer2852
      @theitfactorjameswheezer2852 4 года назад

      Brianna Chiavetta i watched movies like Robocop and Halloween as a kid for fun. Guess im different

  • @gageperuti5519
    @gageperuti5519 3 года назад +5

    One thing he doesn't bring up is this was Phil Hartman's last role before his murder. There's even a dedication to him at the end.

  • @cancerousgaminginc.6956
    @cancerousgaminginc.6956 7 лет назад +92

    What a coincidence my grandma's name is Devilboner

    • @realkz3324
      @realkz3324 7 лет назад +5

      Cancerous Gaming Inc.
      Strange, my third sons name is devilboner.

    • @useless2232
      @useless2232 6 лет назад +4

      2ndUltimo Weird, my stepaunt's cat's name is Usingthesamejoke

    • @EternalStorm796
      @EternalStorm796 6 лет назад +3

      Hm....that's funny..
      My step-nephew's name is, Frank.

    • @c.lawnmower_
      @c.lawnmower_ 6 лет назад +2

      Cancerous Gaming Inc. Hey! What a coincidence! So's my cousin!

  • @MrFredstt
    @MrFredstt 7 лет назад +36

    This movie was my shit as a kid. I'm so glad my grandpa introduced it to me

  • @SofaPop.
    @SofaPop. 5 лет назад +67

    I thought small soldiers was great,it’s a classic,an obscure classic but still good!

  • @mrowley7300
    @mrowley7300 5 лет назад +10

    I loved this movie as a kid and still love it now

  • @danielisnotafluid4175
    @danielisnotafluid4175 6 лет назад +99

    Oh my god... the toy maker is Ian from Alvin and the Chipmunks...

  • @BigDylan66
    @BigDylan66 6 лет назад +13

    I completely loved this film and wished it had a sequel. When I first saw it I bought a bunch of the gorganites and I still have my archer one on my shelf.

  • @matthewxbradley7102
    @matthewxbradley7102 5 лет назад +7

    0:41 I think Doug predicted the new child’s play reboot movie. Including the red eye thing.

  • @mjwatts1983
    @mjwatts1983 5 лет назад +10

    20:50
    This film was released after Hartman’s death

  • @Goofygooberston
    @Goofygooberston 8 лет назад +129

    Ugh I loved this movie as a kid. TBH: I saw this before I saw toystory.

    • @Toxin___InterHalfer
      @Toxin___InterHalfer 8 лет назад +6

      I think all ripoffs are counting on these people who did not see the original.

    • @milkoflegends
      @milkoflegends 8 лет назад

      +James A ooooo I heard about that mortal combat, in buy it, Lou Cane is the best XD, I don't know why I never played games before, :)

    • @Brevincampbell12
      @Brevincampbell12 8 лет назад

      After watching the reviews I kinda want to see this movie

    • @Zejgar
      @Zejgar 8 лет назад +1

      But aren't you "locked" onto the original once you familiarize yourself with it, lessening the chances of being "fooled" by knockoffs? I think they depend on people who haven't familiarized themselves with the original, but are vaguely aware of the original's idea.
      Mind you, if something's a knockoff, it does not automatically make it bad.

    • @abigaillane5995
      @abigaillane5995 8 лет назад

      I loved it. It's a really fun watch. I think the Critic's getting too old.

  • @MeliWoW
    @MeliWoW 6 лет назад +58

    Still got this on vhs

  • @lordneraxis8051
    @lordneraxis8051 5 лет назад +6

    This is still one of my all time favorite movies from my childhood.

  • @JurassicRod
    @JurassicRod 5 лет назад +18

    I find this a really enjoyable film, great practical effects too.

  • @amadmadmadhatter276
    @amadmadmadhatter276 6 лет назад +79

    I loved this movie as a kid. and I even thought the barbie part was ok, and a bit funny when they attack the main character and the boyfriend.

    • @TheDRODOR
      @TheDRODOR 3 года назад

      This movie is great, don't feel ashamed lol

  • @gamebrielthegreat8027
    @gamebrielthegreat8027 6 лет назад +56

    And thus, on this day. A recurring character was born.

  • @lordkarasu2263
    @lordkarasu2263 4 года назад +8

    14:40-“you know, for kids”

  • @SlewedBoot25934
    @SlewedBoot25934 5 лет назад +16

    *YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE RODEO BURGER*

  • @scottkrafft6830
    @scottkrafft6830 7 лет назад +156

    2:18 "Advanced battlefield technology" *shows 1950s tanks*

    • @rayhan_2k841
      @rayhan_2k841 7 лет назад

      Scott Krafft were they m41a1 bulldogs?

    • @theauiditor9720
      @theauiditor9720 7 лет назад +1

      Scott Krafft lol

    • @addadu8031
      @addadu8031 7 лет назад +5

      Scott Krafft next you'll be saying we have automatic rifles

    • @Gamingturtle090
      @Gamingturtle090 6 лет назад

      Scott Krafft how didn't I notice that

  • @burgrmeister9224
    @burgrmeister9224 7 лет назад +28

    "Burger King, We're fucking scary"

    • @buda9652
      @buda9652 7 лет назад +3

      Burgrmeister your profile picture fits your comment

  • @goldenblue8991
    @goldenblue8991 5 лет назад +13

    I remember the Small Soldiers Burger King commercial as well.

    • @kylemendoza8860
      @kylemendoza8860 3 года назад

      Where the commandos actually marketed as the good guys?

  • @CvltCrypt
    @CvltCrypt 5 лет назад +6

    Loved it as a kid and now I am in my early 30s and still love it. Can't wait to show this movie to my children.

  • @AdmiralBison
    @AdmiralBison 6 лет назад +124

    RIP Phil Hartman.

    • @kasrakhatir
      @kasrakhatir 5 лет назад +2

      His last movie 😢

    • @rdphoenix07
      @rdphoenix07 5 лет назад +4

      This was his last movie? I never knew that. I really miss his characters on The Simpsons. No more Troy McClure or Lionel Huntz.

    • @CvltCrypt
      @CvltCrypt 5 лет назад +6

      RIP Dick Miller, also.

  • @851852093114208513
    @851852093114208513 6 лет назад +152

    I honestly can't believe the soundtrack to this movie. How the fuck did they get Zeppelin's permission for Communication Breakdown? Zeppelin are like, FAMOUSLY conservative about licensing their music. They wouldn't even let Wayne's World use the first four notes of "Stairway to Heaven." Jack Black had to get an auditorium of thousands to beg for their permission to use "Immigrant Song" in School of Rock, so how the fuck did Dreamworks get the license to an entire song?!

    • @mylesprevost8752
      @mylesprevost8752 6 лет назад +7

      The f2p Pyro t
      It's the classical word

    • @leftyjoness
      @leftyjoness 6 лет назад +2

      You make some excellent points, good sir.

    • @RoScFan
      @RoScFan 6 лет назад +2

      Eric Bishton It s that hard to get permission for immigrant song? What about Thor Ragnarok? Howd they get it for that?

    • @masterofthecontinuum
      @masterofthecontinuum 5 лет назад +4

      lol it's Thor. how couldn't they?

    • @Shakes-Off-Fear
      @Shakes-Off-Fear 5 лет назад

      I’m not sure but I think they might not be Communication Breakdown (even if it does sound a lot like it).

  • @ridesharingservices5548
    @ridesharingservices5548 4 года назад +5

    At 15:10 he both says and shows on screen "Sexually Confused Arousal Therapy" or SCAT which is a fetish to do with feces right after saying FE TISH MO VIE.
    Took me 2 mins to catch my breath from laughing.

  • @Regular_1094
    @Regular_1094 Год назад +2

    "Are you scared? Were all scared. You'd have to be crazy, not to be scared" cmon I remember that quote, its burned in my memory.

  • @tdkfangirl
    @tdkfangirl 8 лет назад +84

    This movie disturbed me when I was little...

    • @nickwalco
      @nickwalco 8 лет назад

      the trailer disturbed me!

    • @NickZephyr
      @NickZephyr 8 лет назад +3

      ME TOO!!! I had it on VHS but I never watched it cause I was too scared.

    • @uguubella
      @uguubella 8 лет назад +2

      OMG SAME!! here's hoping that critic can overcome my nostalgia fears =v=;;;

    • @TetsuoSlade
      @TetsuoSlade 8 лет назад +1

      The soldier with the huge green creeped me out

    • @NN-zj2jq
      @NN-zj2jq 7 лет назад +2

      Callutts Pussy

  • @andrewmontgomery5621
    @andrewmontgomery5621 6 лет назад +49

    Those deformed Barbie dolls look and sound like Frau Engel in Wolfenstein: The New Order and New Colossus.

  • @dannigro8794
    @dannigro8794 Год назад +8

    I loved this movie as a kid it was a bit dark but I enjoyed playing with the toys

  • @_grievous_the_epok_gamur_7140
    @_grievous_the_epok_gamur_7140 3 года назад +5

    *”You have to be crazy to not be scared..”*

  • @bountydoodles7791
    @bountydoodles7791 7 лет назад +334

    I realy like the looks of the toys

    • @monsterhunter66
      @monsterhunter66 7 лет назад +4

      bountydoodles me too.

    • @RandomCorvid
      @RandomCorvid 7 лет назад +11

      when the movie came out they brought the toys out if I remember correctly.

    • @CJCroen1393
      @CJCroen1393 7 лет назад +13

      Ocula (the little walking eyestalk alien) was always my favorite. I found him bizarrely adorable when I first saw him...and I _still_ do now.

    • @alexsilva28
      @alexsilva28 7 лет назад +19

      The animatronics on this movie are superb. By the one and only Stan Winston

    • @InoMercy
      @InoMercy 6 лет назад +3

      Alex Silva Too bad the movie built around the animatronics was shit. I'd actually watch a movie about the world created for the toys. but obviously with the Gorgonites being the good guys and the Commando Elite the bad guys.

  • @freak0n182
    @freak0n182 8 лет назад +115

    that trump reference... if only he knew.

    • @Toxin___InterHalfer
      @Toxin___InterHalfer 8 лет назад +33

      I've seen NC mentioning Donald Trump in some really old videos, like from 2008
      It was during that era when Trump was buying everything and seemed just a strange millionaire, not a psycho candidate for president of the US

    • @JesusProtects
      @JesusProtects 8 лет назад

      why do you think is a psycho?

    • @JesusProtects
      @JesusProtects 8 лет назад +6

      matt sweatgast Well, i want to know what people see so upsetting about Trump. People call him racist, homophobe, mysoginistic, xenophobe, etc. and i didn't hear anything from his own mouth that could even suggest something like that. I am just confused about why some people hate him so much. Looks like they are just twisting his words just like the media does.

    • @Toxin___InterHalfer
      @Toxin___InterHalfer 8 лет назад +12

      ArminMeiwes23
      Find another guy to interview and let me just have my opinon without explanation thank you

    • @JesusProtects
      @JesusProtects 8 лет назад +5

      matt sweatgast Ok, i will continue to be confused i guess. Don't you think this is an irracional fear of yours? if not, please, explain.

  • @thomaslatimer571
    @thomaslatimer571 Год назад +3

    I’m 28 still love this movie. Good cast & a lot of fun!

  • @goob_goob_gooby_goob
    @goob_goob_gooby_goob 4 года назад +10

    “It’s a small world after all”
    Hmm... best not show Some Jerk with a Camera that scene... he may get war-like flashbacks

  • @hanibalking7841
    @hanibalking7841 6 лет назад +62

    I loved this movie to the point when I seen it on Netflix I had. My kids watch it lol

  • @ragejoona431
    @ragejoona431 6 лет назад +45

    7:33 and that's how the greatest Nostalgia Critic character got started.

  • @cjwrench07
    @cjwrench07 5 лет назад +9

    I really liked Innerspace from Joe Dante, but it is really influenced by nostalgia. I watched it with my first GF on VHS, the first time we just hung out at her parents place.
    Ended up weirdly watching the movie with her mom giving me a back massage, because I pulled a muscle in a basketball tournament. Lol.

  • @Batchall_Accepted
    @Batchall_Accepted 4 года назад +23

    Say what you want about this movie, Tommy Lee's delivery is spot on the whole time.
    His character alone makes this movie watchable.

  • @darrellng7617
    @darrellng7617 6 лет назад +17

    that line in the lab, with the microchips..surprising after 20years, it's not even sci-fi anymore.

  • @TheRedneckRoman16
    @TheRedneckRoman16 6 лет назад +45

    .... The creepy thing about that Buzz was that you just moved its eyes ONLY SLIGHTLY.

    • @MarthaRoseQuartz
      @MarthaRoseQuartz 6 лет назад +1

      TheRedneckRoman16 I know, right? And it made me laugh!

  • @donovanriley123
    @donovanriley123 11 месяцев назад +4

    R.I.P. Phil Hartman. His final film before his tragic death.

  • @cjhs2006
    @cjhs2006 4 года назад +4

    The 1st Time I Ever Saw David Cross Was in The Drew Carey Show

  • @akshaykumar_r
    @akshaykumar_r 6 лет назад +45

    "PUT ME ON A CEREAL BOX!"

    • @98953812
      @98953812 5 лет назад +7

      HE'S CHILD FRIENDLY!!

    • @LegitMan335
      @LegitMan335 4 года назад +4

      Akshay Ravi Kumar PART OF THIS COMPLETE BREAKFAST, BUY MY TOYS!

    • @jamesgilbert6023
      @jamesgilbert6023 3 года назад +1

      "My mother never loved me" and i would buy his cereal

  • @Swenglish
    @Swenglish 7 лет назад +116

    Instantly recognized Sarah Michelle Gellar as one of the Gwendy doll voices. Seemed a bit random, so I had to look it up to be sure, and it turns out I was right. Christina Ricci is the other one, apparently.

    • @alexmelik4030
      @alexmelik4030 7 лет назад +7

      What a hellish combo...

    • @chinococoa6743
      @chinococoa6743 7 лет назад +19

      Wow. Buffy as a toy...

    • @evanallen5377
      @evanallen5377 7 лет назад +13

      "the dirty dozen" are the commando elite and "spinal tap" are the gorgonites, this movie really had strangely great voice acting

    • @alexsilva28
      @alexsilva28 7 лет назад +2

      Holy creppy out of place cameos Batman!

    • @rags-t-richards
      @rags-t-richards 6 лет назад +2

      Wednesday Addams?

  • @rossdiamondthief6627
    @rossdiamondthief6627 4 года назад +3

    Small Soilders: “It’s a small world after all.”
    Toy Story: “This town ain’t big enough for the two of us”

  • @rossdiamondthief6627
    @rossdiamondthief6627 5 лет назад +7

    1:49 I laughed more than I should’ve at that🤣😂

  • @bookcookie3907
    @bookcookie3907 7 лет назад +56

    I remember when I was little and after me and my brother watched this he got a Chip Hazard action figure and it scared the crap out of me

  • @dandomin8585
    @dandomin8585 8 лет назад +68

    I REALLY hated this movie when I was younger. Those Barbies scarred me for years...

  • @justygilberts4336
    @justygilberts4336 5 лет назад +15

    2016 Me: Oh this devil Bonner seems dumb. He won't come back.
    2019 Me: Damit I love Devil Bonner. Where is he?

    • @Vamoss39
      @Vamoss39 4 года назад +3

      You don't miss him enough to spell "Boner" right....

  • @DaBuddhaHMz
    @DaBuddhaHMz 3 года назад +9

    Watching this reminds me how f-ing awesome this movie is. And I still absolutely love Insaniac.