The chokehold bts has on indian and Pakistani girls is really fascinating to me, considering how rampant toxic masculinity is among desi men. The disparity between what women want and what men think women want is growing every day
@@ihavermsthattypeofbrain8377 they should ask themselves then why millions of desi women would rather go after these so called " gay " men instead of desi men 🥱
@@boredkueen8784 exactly it's just that those toxic indian and so called masculinity savior guys don't know how to get a woman 😂💀 And also , I much rather would be a fan of the ' 7 gays in korea ' who respect everyone and especially girls rather than these so called masculine idiots .
I agree that this attraction to soft masculinity stems from the need that many girls and women have for sweetness, attention, respect and safety. The fantasy of K-dramas and k-pop is a sweet respite from a world filled with too much anger and ugliness.
There is no such thing as toxic masculinity. When a man is toxic, it's simply about his person and not about masculinity. Toxic masculinity is an offensive term, bc masculinity is a beautiful thing and men should be proud of it
Just because they look feminine doesn't mean they are not misogynistic, which is what toxic masculinity is referring to. South Korea is a WAY more patriarchal country than the US .
BTS aren’t afraid to show their emotions and are closer then any brothers I’ve ever seen and show their fans so much love and are just beautiful talented people who have saved many of their fans lives so who cares about make up, seen them without any and still beautiful inside and out 🥰
I am American and just discovered k-pop this year. I found Stray Kids by chance and became a fan, a Stay. I was amazed by their lack of toxic masculinity. In the US even teen boy singers these days have to be macho. They cant do anything cute, anything not seen as ultra masculine. What I love about Stray Kids is that they do really cute things at fan events but mostly love how freely they express affection for one another. They wear make up and jewelry and high fashion, yet they also have a lot of swagger when performing their music. They are definitely guys and exude guy energy but without the macho stuff and insecurity that we see with Western male singers and Western men in general. It's refreshing for a female who was only used to the latter. It is disappointing that the South Korean culture though is just as bad as in the West and most other countries.
Hollywood are better than Kpoop Idols aka two face snake aka devil in sheep clothing. Justin Bieber/Justin Timberlake have normal life/dating. Kpoop Idols keep hiding their victims/girlfriends. Kpoop Idols are two face snake like Yunho/Seungri/Taeil, etc.
Im from Argentina and I am also surprised by how weird Americans are, like here a guy kissing another guy on the cheek is just a greeting for us and no one would find it weird, same for acting cute
Don't underestimate those 'flower boys' I've seen plenty of them lose their temper and lay 'tough guys' flat. They are well known to be beautiful and will protect you with their life.
In skz alone, Lee Know has like 3 Black belts in different marshal arts, Felix did Taekwondo (?) and won a bunch of medals with it, a bunch of them do boxing...
Until his death I ‘m an American who was married for 31 years to a soft masculine man. I was very happy with him. My friends envied me. He didn’t wear makeup and such but he helped equally with household chores and childcare. I adored him and so did his children. My grown son had him as a role model is is a loving husband and father. He’s been gone and I still miss him terribly, 13:03 ❤
I'm from Pakistan and honestly being a kpop stans i can sure many man's and even somethimes women will judge you here for liking male kpop idols or actors, alot of time you see comments like "they are gay" or not masculine enough for their soft Masculinity. But as you said i like how they are ❤ and ofcourse I don't expect every korean men or even idols are as innocent as we think. Take Taeil for instant. Great video 👍
Thanks so much for sharing your perspective! It’s tough dealing with those judgments, but it’s awesome that you appreciate Kpop idols for who they are. And yes, not everyone is as innocent as they seem, taeil situation is definitely upsetting. Glad you enjoyed the video! ❤
@@UroojyKPop Idols are two face snake. They keep hiding their victims/girlfriends. Kpoop Idols are devil in sheep clothing. Just look at Yunho/Seungri/Taeil, etc. They have girly face but they are psyco.
Don't let their exterior fool you korean men are very resilient and tougher than Pakistani men. I'm not referring to kpop idols but just general population men.
I have totally changed my mind when I discovered kpop. At first I was shocked that the male idols wearing makeup. Now it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm use to it now.
Let’s not forget that David Bowie wore a ton of makeup but somehow that was okay in the west. I think it’s the emotional honesty that the idols and actors portray that hooks us. Now if they could infect their societal norms, Korea would be unstoppable!
But every people (mostly) who comes onscreen wear makeup. People forgets that beautifying is not the only use of makeup. It helps with lighting and to make face clearly visible in any environment. As we know kpop idols are supposed to film in different environments, overseas, day-night...so it's necessary for them to wear makeup. Like bro if men who wear makeup are gay, then most of the film actors are gay too🙄.
One of the reasons that BTS songs are so impactful is that the guys sing them with so much genuine emotion. Western male singers always have one of those ironic smirks on their faces to tell you that they don't really mean it. At least not the vulnerable emotions. Elevating my reply to Rosula D to repeat it here: Just look at the imagery of Western men who are supposedly sexy-- what expression is that on their face in that sexy picture? It's hard to differentiate it from hostility. Cold, fixed stare, tight jaw and a touch of contempt. It's not about being romantic, it's about being one up on other men-- I guess the idea is that women are attracted to the man who can protect you from the bad guys. Except who's going to protect you from him?
"he idea is that women are attracted to the man who can protect you from the bad guys. Except who's going to protect you from him?'' - SUCH A GOOD RESPONSE. It really is that. Also I find a lot of western men are more of the same like they drive their personality from 1 sourse which makes them boring whereas Kpop idols within the same group will have different personalities and having those unique qualities highlighted
I grew up in a rural american town and discovered k-pop and k-dramas about a decade ago, when I was in high school. When I tell people that I like korean music and shows I almost always get comments like "aren't BTS gay? They wear makeup" or "Asian men really aren't for me. They're so feminine" Which has led me to deeply question what traits universally define masculinity and feminity, and to ask my friends to do the same. It turns out that, apart from "men are generally stronger" and "women are generally more nuturing" there isn't much. Where many of the men in my hometown are classic examples of toxic masculinity, or some of them were simply never taught (or expected) to demonstrate gentleness or emotional awareness, I really appreciate how male k-pop groups (like Stray Kids, BTS, and Seventeen) are emotionally vulnerable, respectful of women, and write positive and empowering songs for their fans. I'm very aware that South Korea has a long way to go in pursuit of equality for men and women, but I find the puplic personas of k-pop idols and the wholesome relationships shown in k-dramas to be very refreshing. I honestly really hope that it influences men AND women in the west more.
It's also worth mentioning that pretty much every male performer and any man who works in front of a camera wears make up, it's not something exclusive to only women or kpop idols.
@@crystalsnow1138 It's also worth pointing out that make up was never made for women we just over the centuries had to fightt to wear it without being seen as women of the night eg women with no morals
@@eileencritchley4630 EXACTLY. Makeup, hair, fashion is all so subjective and really has nothing to do with gender. Long hair used to be considered masculine, and still is in many cultures. Men were the first to wear heels. Men have worn makeup for thousands of years. Pink didn't become a "girly" color until western advertisers decided it should be in the 1940s. The list goes on ..
"Kpop are idols show soft masculinity, the opposite of that narcissistic, macho, egoistic, bald, steroids, full of insecurity, masculinists masculinity." more accurate
Great video! The reason male k-pop idols are so popular, especially in countries where patriarchy is more prevalent, is the same reason so many het women enjoy BL: After millenia of violence, women want to feel safe! And guess what: Men have managed to equate masculinity with violence (either verbal or physical) against women. And that doesn't fly anymore. It's sad that instead of understanding how deep of a hole men have dug for themselves by refusing to show more emotional awareness and vulnerability, many of them double down and demand that women just accept their bs. As long as k-pop (and k-dramas honestly) keep presenting this alternative idea of masculinity, het women will keep flocking to it.
Exactly! Just look at the imagery of Western men who are supposedly sexy-- what expression is that on their face in that sexy picture? It's hard to differentiate it from hostility. Cold, fixed stare, tight jaw and a touch of contempt. It's not about being romantic, it's about being one up on other men-- I guess the idea is that women are attracted to the guy who can protect you from the bad guys. Except who's going to protect you from him?
I agree with you. Women want attention, safety, respect and love which rarely comes from toxic masculinity. But there are also some women who say "Men who express their emotions are corny and icky" AND THEY BREAK UP WITH THEM JUST FOR BEING VULNERABLE! While the bad guys keep being toxic, the decent real man stays away. I would die for a guy being comfortable enough to share their struggles and pain with me.
The majority of BTS don't care about what someone wears or if they use make up or not it's about that it's about music and tbh most of us aren't really kpop fans in the first place. Many of us aren't into K Drama's either. We want music with good lyric's and music that meets our differing musical tastes which we find with BTS we are have you understood BTS lyric the topic's they talk Rap and sing about? It's why am I rock fan and Rap fan because Rock music tends to have something important to say it's often politicial or socially aware subject matter. Rap is the same until you get some of the newer USA Rappers. BTS music and lyric's fit with my mindset while the rest of kpop doesn't.
Your friend was never an ARMY if he or she turned away from BTS because of something as trivial as, make up…. (which most men I n theatre, TV, and film also wear / use)
An ARMY made a comment that stuck with me. She said, the reason why Yoongi (Suga from BTS) is so popular is because he carries his masculinity. His masculinity doesn't carry him. I remember reading a piece regarding why the British men was so against the Viking men. It stated: "These men who take a bath every day are stealing our women" or something along that line. So women being interested in men who take care of themselves isn't a new thing. I know there are other reasons as well, like you stated. I just find the whole concept strange.
What many outsiders avoid opening their eyes to is that soft masculinity ain't in any way equated to weakness. A lot of these idols have black belts in martial arts. But outside that, many women find men who can process, articulate, and express emotions way stronger in real life. Suppressed emotions in men are if anything a sense of loss of safety for women. All that suppression is going to burst out one day and harm no one but that very woman. Take BTS's lyrics. Don't even bother about looks, personality, or skills. The lyrics are actually really profound in articulating emotions and livelihood changes that so often many in deep mental health declines find hard to express. So it becomes desirable because many women feel that at a time of distress, the man will be capable of navigating unlike those who put up a facade but often lose their temper and make things more triggering.
This the best-researched, most comprehensive and articulate description of these societal changes that I've seen so far. The role of gender stereotyping, and institutionalized misogyny in past as well as contemporary South Korean society is multi-faceted and complex. I deeply appreciate how careful this content creator was in his analysis and I applaud his scholarship and insight. As an older ARMY from America, I also enjoyed learning more about the historical and cultural contexts that BTS emerged from. Bravo!
0:18 It actually goes way further back then bishonen. All the way back in feudal china, the soft masculinity in men was highly sought after. Men like Pan An being known to recieve a lot of female attention while also being described to have delicate slender features. When you see girls gather in crowds for people like V or Eunwoo, they are very much in the same vein as people like Pan. Women in east asia seems to just have a naturally higher penchant towards these type of men historically, and it isn't some kind of recent phenomenon as bishonen. Even in the west, this has been going on way longer, and iirc, the bishonen aesthetic in anime/manga was largely inspired by Bjorn, who was once described to be the most beautiful boy in the world.
This topic was so interesting to me I saw one video of V a fan cam on Instagram and was so surprised I ended up becoming a BTS fan fast forward a few years I'm still here. And I do like k-dramas too. I feel as though there is more tenderness in them. Fascinating video thank you so much!
I never really thought about how they looked for me it was BTS music then their personalities and good looks came second. Funny thing is I remember when they were thought too ugly to be part of a kpop group, at the time I laughed and though whatever I'm here for their music. They are extremely good looking and extremely talented men but their looks could fade and I'd still be here for their music.
korean society is one way... and kpop world is a glossy candy wrapped version, that make things appear as they are not irl. But the actual men themselves in these boy groups... SURE some are bad and evil, like taeil... others are just misogynistic bc that's the society they live in, whilst others are maybe out of that mindset, and don't see the world like the previous generation do. But we have no real clue how they ACTUALLY view women. What we see is they themselves are not scared to look and appear soft. feminine. they are not scared to show emotional or physical affection with each other. so fans see how kind they are to their members, and how soft they appear in aesthetics and it is such a nice breath of fresh air, in contrast to the rest of the world with all it's tough guy bs. even if it's a facade or not as real as we hope, it's is what we we WISH and want. we want men to show affection to one another. we want kindness and softness as well as the more typical traits of masculinity. i think women jsut truly desire kindness and a sweet soft person who doesn't have such a hard shell and see femininity as weakness. but see it as power and beauty.
I used to watch all western films with lead characters that were older, stubbled, and highly masculine men. When I watched my first kdrama I was in shock that the lead male was young, slim, had perfect, clear skin and looked very feminine to me. I struggled to compute it and kind of watched with disbelief if nothing else. Fast forward a couple of years and loads of kdramas (during the peak of covid), and now I watch very little else but kdramas. I am a huge fan of the group "Stray kids", and listen to all kpop and no western music. I did recently watch the new Wolverine and Deadpool movie...but literally only because my kpop group was in the soundtrack! lol. Anyway, it's interesting to me that my taste adjusted to the korean look. I love the emotional intelligence of Stray kids. I could never understand how lots of women in the west seek out hyper- masculine men that treat them badly...I think that western culture has promoted ideals that are anti-feminist and women are so brain washed by the culture they don't even realise how down trodden they are (although it sounds even worse in South Korea for women). Honestly, when I saw that quote from that leader I actually thought that just bringing the good influences from the west and not the bad sounds like a good plan in principle. For example, I love rap but western rap is full of violence and extreme mysoginy. I'm so pleased I've found Stray kids that incorporate rap but with inspiring and empowering lyrics instead.
I like what you said. I'm also a fan of skz. My favorite k-drama is Vincenzo. My first one was Hometown Cha Cha Cha. The song I really liked turned out to be by a member of Stray Kids. I'm not delulu by any means. I just enjoy the lack of toxic masculinity that I grew up with. I'm 53.
@@Ivory35 Thanks. My favourite kdrama is Vincenzo too! I'm 55 and like to think I'm not delulu, but keep going deeper down that rabbit hole. Went to my first festival in many years to see Stray kids at Hyde Park and I like to annoy my kids by sending Stray kids gifs when I use Discord. Strangely, liking Stray Kids has really improved my life. I love their music and inspirational work ethic..but the best part is how heartwarming it is to watch their genuine light-hearted interactions. Those social skills are under-rated. If more guys interacted like that perhaps there would be less toxic masculinity around. Have you seen "Ravage Mike" reacting to Stray Kids? I recommend him from his first reaction to Megaverse. He's so funny because he coughs and almost falls asleep through half his reactions (poor guy has insomnia), but he's such a genuine guy and you can literally watch his mood improve across his reactions as he turns into a fully fledged STAY. Oops, went off topic. Proof of my delulu I guess. 😆
@@Ivory35 Really?! Lol. I wonder if you like these Stray kids reactors...Handsome Sausages, Roscoe, Katriinka, Max Beaumont, Chloe May Reacts and Jordon Orme. Hope that's not tmi, but we seem to have similar taste. Perhaps you could let me know if there's a great reactor I'm missing out on. I watch others too, but I like the variety of angles these reactors cover. Now I'm thinking about it, it makes me realise how my life has been taken over by Stray Kid's content!! Lol.
While soft masculinity is popular and has good qualities, in Korea itself, this is largely a Seoul phenomenon. Outside of Seoul, many men don’t agree with Korean men being portrayed in this way because it’s seen as emasculation. My husband is from Gyeongsangdo where Busan is, and he isn’t a huge fan either. He can display softer, caring characteristics too, but Gyeongsang men are not as keen on this trend and care more about traditional masculine looks. I like both types of men as long as they are good people. 👍🏻
I’m a European girl (woman) and I love soft masculinity and South East Asian men 💗I discovered this whole new world this year actually (K-drama, K-pop, J-drama, J-pop etc.) These type of guys are so hot and exactly my type. And so different from what I’m used to. Also I love BL😍
It isn’t surprising though… It isn’t a coincidence that the worst offence someone can do to a woman’s beauty is calling her “masculine”, while pretty boys are mainly judged for their seemingly lack of strength and looking gay (not really attacking their looks).
It’s true that societal standards often harshly critique women for any traits perceived as masculine, while men face different forms of judgment. This reflects deep-seated gender biases that shape how beauty and masculinity are viewed. Thanks for pointing that out!
What do guy men look like what activities hobbies, work do gay men do oh wait the same as non gay men. Same with women. Some people really like to stero type people into little boxes and judge people on what box they believe a person should belong to just for the way the look sorry but that's completely weird to me.
These outer looks are just the surface. What matters most is one's character. But of course how we carry ourselves is greatly influenced by our character so i guess looks matters to a certain degree. Honestly, both traditional-looking men and flower boy types have their charms but what matters most is that a man is capable, kind and cultured. Anyway for me, softness should contain hardness, and hardness should contain softness - this is how each person should be regardless of gender and sex. In short we all need both masculine and feminine qualities in right proportions to have a balanced personality which in itself is a very attractive thing.
I really enjoyed this video. Very insightful and informative. I tend to find Asian men more desirable for a somewhat odd reason: they are generally clean shaven. Nearly every other male in the world thinks that looking like they just rolled out of bed after a rough night is attractive. But give me a clean shaven man who combed his hair every time. He’s more likely to have good personal hygiene.
They do,but they still look like men and I haven't seen any other male celebrity to wear eyeshadow, bright bold lipstic. Men with this feminine makeup look weird.
They do,but they still look like men and I haven't seen any other male celebrity to wear eyeshadow, bright bold lipstic. Men with this feminine makeup look weird.
Haha, that’s so relatable! I think a lot of us have wondered the same thing at some point. Kdramas really set the bar high with their dreamy characters😅
Now regardless of wether they look sweet and innocent or tough and rebellious, YOU STILL DON'T KNOW THEM. Y'all need to accept the fact that you don't know them irl. You only know what they want you to know.
Like Oshi no Ko said: idols sell dream and fantasy we never had irl. So it would affected people much aside from young delulu fans. Many old kpoper fans like me follow them for their music or their aesthetic
i live in vietnam where a LOT of people (mostly boys) always hate it when they see a kpop fan. they always said something like 'theyre gay' or 'their music sounds the same', 'they look all the same'. id never understand why they said that cause the point of makeup is to define your features, make your face look more lively and suit the concept which theyre working with so basically its normal and even male models wear makeup?? and saying their music is trash despite the fact that you havent even heard 5 kpop songs is jst insane😭
Well, just ignore them. They might be envious since kpop males attract too many girls and females. What we see on TV seems like the majority likes kpop, but in reality when you enter the outside world, you’ll see people criticizing it.
@@TrinhNguyen-sh4fj Exactly. I'm tired of people trying to lump all k-pop idols together like they all are bad because one idol did something criminal.
Sending this to my mom so that she can finally stop asking “why do you like those Chinese guys? They look gay” I’ve told her so many times that just cuz they wear makeup they aren’t gay, but as always people think it’s funny and always laugh which makes me so mad, but when it’s someone who you love and they’re laughing and making fun of the only thing that sincerely makes you happy, it just hurts.
@@Quokkababygirlfanfics Yes, it's like they feel the need to tell me they think I have bad taste. Hey, jerks, how about saying, "I'm so glad that you've found something that nourishes you." Talking to you, Cousin Ed.
My uncle does this like wtf he didn't even know what k-pop was until last year 😢 But now if I even mention it in passing he's like 'oh u still have that disease" and "that's gaayy" like I wasn't even talking to u so if u could just shut up?? Also my boy bestfriend introduced me to BTS like three years ago, and at first I didn't like them (the only song I heard was butter) but then I got hooked and now I'm...... Yeah. I'm an ARMY and I'm proud of it. But as soon as I started liking them even a little bit he(the boy bsf) started hating them like wtf bro why? Now every time I see him he goes 'oh ur so obsessed ' and 'i hate BTS i hate K-pop i wanna bomb South Korea ' like dude please. I have a few ARMY friends and I've made my mom and dad into ARMY too, but still 90% of people look at me like "tf is wrong with u" when they see the BTS bracelet on my wrist or my BTS necklace. And they'll go "oh you like BTS? I hAaAtE BTS tHeYrE sO bAd" like have u even listened to their songs? Like *listened* properly? No. So don't talk shit. But I can't say that because then I'll get a lecture for being 'rude' like dude. Imo, nothing hurts more than someone putting down and dissing something or someone that you love and gives you the most happiness. Like u can diss me all u want but you say one WORD about BTS ima taekwondo kick your ass to Jupiter shut your big mouth. But now I'm tryna calm down bc I know that they don't matter. They don't know. They don't know anything. And you can't educate an idiot.
8:50 As a woman in her 20's I deeply agree with this fact that we appreciate men who don't hide their emotions while communicating. I said this to my male friend To don't hide how he feels because I'm not gonna judge you for getting emotional.
It’s a huge Industry- they know how to sell dreams perfectly. In a little Country where Sex sells , Surgeries normal & deadly Diets hyped. Youth is everything there….
1st of all this is such a well done video! I need to add that also for me when you see kpop idols in a group, their team dynamic is very much highlighted and you get to see how they work as a team and provide for one another. I find this very appealing because this give a sort of a glimpse to their abillity to see the other person and provide help and comfort which is what most modern women crave in a partner imo.
I think this might be why even I was just 5 I would look the most handsome man in the world and just look at them and be like "but their not even that handsome....😔" but then I saw who I now know is taehyung and jungkook mostly taehyung and I would be like "they should be at top 😓" , but let's fast forward to 2020 when I was 8 my big sister got until to kpop and I would always listen to their music with her and one group I always look forward to listen to was now what I know is called BTS but at the time my brain never click that one of then was the the some person I use to think was the most handsome man in the world no matter what the chart said when I was 5 and fast forward to 2023 I was 11 I was watching RUclips and pass this video called something like "bts being the funniest people ever" by sagaArmy and was like " I mean it's not like watching this video is going to hurt me... " so I click on the video and Caught my eye bc he's was so handsome and kind and funny I just loved everything about him. Can guess who made me want to get more until bts....! So I remember watching more bts videos from sagaArmy and I was like "I have to know this guys name!" So I look up all the bts members names and then I look up each member Individually and Implanted which name go to who and how they looked until I find him and leaned his name was....................... jungkook! and took me a week to listen to any song by them (by myself bc my sis use to play them " and it was fake love. Fast forward to now I'm a full time army my bias is jungkook and my bias wreckers are mostly taehyung and then yoongi and then jhope but what I'm trying to said is that Softness is what I like in men and many other women (or men) can Relate to this so I do think that is one of the reasons kpop is so Popular.
It’s amazing how your journey with BTS started so early and how you connected with their softness and personality! I think a lot of people relate to finding comfort and admiration in their gentle and kind nature. Thanks for sharing your story.
Just because idols show sensitivity, almost always related to winning or performing somewhere, just because they are pretty and wear makeup doesn’t meant they are progressive in how they see a woman’s rights and responsibilities. They hardly live in a world where they can have normal interactions with women in everyday life. I really can’t say I know how any of them think about women. They wouldn’t be allowed to discuss it by their companies. The best you can do is guess about them if they have sisters and mothers, or work with female professionals, who can vary from Rino to Min He Jin. Your premise is sound. Young women want safe, soft boys to crush one - if they’re too scared for that they can get into shipping. However, it’s a bit of a fantasy. When push comes to shove, every Korean man is still mostly full of male strengths and weaknesses. And desires to be seen as manly. Even the beautiful ones. Confucianism doesn’t help. Also, as we grow up, softness in men can present difficulties. Women tend to want strong men to protect them and their children when they are mothers with little kids. I even think it’s an evolutionary design. Personally, I like flower boys. But I’m way grown up and on my own.
Shipper's are delulu's and village gossips they need some mental health professionals. No we don't want that. we want men that are supportive and work as a team with us. Men we can trust and will be respectful of us as we are of them as fellow human beings. Knowing we have each other's backs and will defend each other as and when required we don't need men to fight our battles for us.
I have to say that Seo Taji & Boys weren't just about a "soft masculinity" so much as emulating American Boy Bands (like New Kids on the Block) who were also quite 'soft' and had more of a pretty boy concept. - Good, thorough video though! Thank you!
The video gave me lots of insights about my favorite k-pop idols. The guys are just great actors and work hard to meet marketing requirements, but they are criticized so heavily by people who are unaware about the rules of modern k-pop industry. You gave me so many clues about proper answers to haters and antis who disrespect my favorite idols. Thank you so much for your content.
Not only Kpop Idols. We have other examples in the west such as Harry Stiles and even Justin Bieber at his early years, or Timothe Chalamet (that 3 days older than V). I'm a 56yo Portuguese woman living in the UK for quite some time now and mother of 2 girls and 2 boys - my youngest son is 23 yo and reminds me of Jimin a lot even though my son is quite a bit taller. The oldest would have been 27yo but unfortunately didn't pass 9yo due to cancer, so there is no way to know how he would have became. My therapist friend says that I like K pop Idols (mainly BTS) because I'm projecting my lost son into them. Maybe he is right to some degree, probably more than what I would like to give in credit for, if I consider that V reminds me of him way too much... Or maybe because I was in a very complicated relationship for many years with my ex husband and father of my kids and want to believe that there is still some kind of hope for mankind with better, less complicated relationships, more love, more respect, less greed... And as much as I believe that my son is doing what he can to change his piece of the world, he doesn't have the reach or influence that BTS has. Or maybe this is expecting too much from the guys: after all this is not what they have sign up for... but one can only hope, isn't it?
Women are tired of war, anger turned toward them because of something that happened at work, and tired of doing all the heavy lifting. Women in just about every culture do the majority of house work and at least k-dramas show that no matter how rich or powerful the men are, they are still willing to cook, clean, and be an emotional support for women. They also show that no matter how feminine they look, they will protect women, even if it's just to protect her from rain (umbrellas are so important in k-dramas). In some regards, the k-pop or k-drama idol is the perfect man, non-violent unless it is needed, respectful of women, willing to open up with their emotions, attentive when they are feeling well, supportive of their work lives, shares in housework and child rearing, all while living a respectful life. Are their things that are undesirable, yes, but all women think that he will change for her. LOL
Yasss! Totally agree. I am sick of this toxic promotion of the manosphere/Kevin Samuels/BluePill Redpill that is rampant in American culture. I have been binging on Kdramas these past two weekends and I have never felt so safe and happy watching them!
i agree they are just very charming, not just physically to me with the lack of excessive facial hair, great fashion, but also the character of being wholesome, kind, non aggro and respectful, even tho is scripted to an extent, its just very appealing to me as a woman
This explained a lot that I have wondered about, particularly the effect of the economic crisis on men's appearance, shifts in censorship, and important people in the music industry. This is useful content that I hope many people will see. Thank you so much! I'm gonna hit that Subscribe button.
I literally hated most men, toxic masculinity, patriarchy and ridiculous strong tough macho guys before I discovered K-pop and BTS. And I'm not a 15 year old girl, I was 33 when i became a BTS fan and I had a whole life of experience of ugly patriarchal world. When I found BTS I couldn't believe it..I was like "so nice, kind, lovely, amazing men actually exist?!?!" I would never want/settle for anything else than men who are like them.
very good video on this topic! when you exclude the people who are attracted to them on a superficial level, i also think that the image a lot of those kpop boygroups give is a safe space for women. i don't think the fans are all naive on their parasocial relationship, I just think it feels nice having the 'fantasy' of men being understanding and emotionally open without getting backlash. especially since misogyny is on the rise in multiple countries all over the world again. i saw accounts shaming taeil fans after the recent event and that they 'should have known better than to believe those men are all good'. but i also don't want to live in a world where i have to assume every single man is a sexual predator from the start. most of us are aware that stage makeup is stage makeup, that certain outfits are for the stage only and just bcs they have a certain persona, they don't have to be this way personally.
When I was younger, Kpop members were interesting to me because the marketing was so well done. You have boybands and girlgroups who bring out catchy songs with elaborate fun choreography. Where in the west do you still see this kind of thing? As far as I'm concerned, it was more a thing in the 90s. Also the fact that they appear in variety shows, share many behind the scenes and rehearsal footages among other things, contributes to the popularity of Kpop. It's very interactive.
I am indian and i am more in bit tan, muscular men in my family beard is bit looked down upon so i had any issue with them not having bread it also reflects in my kpop idols too i stan seventeen where mingyu and other seventeen members are so masculine but he have to apply light shade of foundation n appear with soft makeup even though he looks best without makeup he's definitely not a normal kpop idol i would call him greek god (its a compliment here)but on stage they have to apply makeup and bows i feel happy seeing them without makeup on their yt channel and in going seventeen web series its not that everyone loves soft masculine idols everyone has preference i have seen girls dying over ma dong son too
Excellent thoughtful analysis! I appreciate the amount of research you put into yhis video. I learned much more than I anticipated. So thanks for educating us. I'm relatively new to k-pop, so I liked learning about the historicaI events in the industry. As well as the history of this particular male archetype in Asian sociolgy. I also hope that culture will improve to reflect characteristics we respect and love most, especially for women. ❤
I live in the U.S. and have made a 100% change in how I feel about soft masculinity. As a woman, this soft masculinity makes these k pop artists, ESPECIALLY BTS, absolutely huggable. Like a little kitty or puppy…you want to cuddle and protect it. They are strong, macho men…but unlike other parts of the world… they have a pure sweetness, kindness and humbleness that cause the desire to wrap our arms around them…and hold on tight.
just like this soft masculine image of male kpop idols is called flower boys in korea, india have the same kind of soft masculine image too in bollywood back in the early to late 2000s which was called chocolate boys which which was use to describe sweet, gentle and friendly looking guy with the most beautiful smile that would light up the whole town but with a clean shaven face and a masculine body with abs! and some of the bollywood actors who had this look were shahid kapoor, saif ali khan, hritik roshan, imraan khan among many other bollywood actors who's looks were on the hyper masculine side and these chocolate boys were literally the heart throbs of an entire nation of 1 billion people but as we entered the 10's bollywood male actors heavily started having beard and mustaches to look like that stereotypical tough masculinity thinking this is attractive looking and also to hide their weak ass looking jawline instead of hitting the gym and loosing fat they would hide it with their facial hair, when in reality they literally look so unkempt and shabby and even these original chocolate boys of the 2000's also unfortunatly followed the trend and succumbed to this growing tough looking guy stupidity and literally right now every single male bollywood actor have this kind of look making this chocolate boy look so uncommon now and honestly its so annoying i really dont like anyone in bollywood apart from sidharth malhotra who debuted in the early 10's, still despite the tough guy look trend maintains that chocolate boy look and he looks so handsome cuz he really is a very good looking guy and a talented actor too so he is the only one i like in bollywood now
What an amazing vid to stumble upon, I found a love for kpop later BUT used to get the same discussions around male J rock stars which I STILL listen to many of the og "androgynous" or SEXLESS men today❤. Amazing points and BACKING
Thanks for the very informative video! It's actually quite upsetting when you realise that the soft masculinity we adore in K-pop idols is still just a fantasy for the most part and not something society has ever actually encouraged. It's sad that the only thing that keeps healthy masculinity alive is the fact that it makes money just like any other product, it's basically used as a weapon when it could actually influence a healthy standard for the male gender because men are also victims of patriarchy and often don't even realise how much it harms them too.
This girl right here loves a man who works out and takes care of his health thats the type of masculinity i want 😂❤ and he protects me, you can cancel me if you want
Very good article! I was a bit puzzled in the beginning of my K-Pop time about the massive make-up at men too, but on the other hand every person working for public like a news speaker etc. wear make-up and why not, same right for all gender! I was and still I am impressed that they show feelings, discuss about nearly everything and that is what I admire the most beneath their great music of course! And yes, I still know that the Korean Society is far away from the habits of their idols, so sad! But hopefully it‘ll change slightly, the Machos and the Government gets punishment by the low birth rate…
There's definitely a difference in soft masculinity as it pertains to looks and to characteristics. The two don't have to coincide. Taking regular people, I think Nordic countries are probably the most equal countries in the world where men take on more and more of the traditionally feminine roles at home for example, but the visual ideal tends to be quite rugged. When it comes to kpop, you also have to remember that it's an industry, and the artists are usually coached for years and years down to the tiny details of facial expressions, why? To sell. What I'm interested in is how much of the stylistic change you can trace in the evolution of BTS, for example, has come from the artists themselves and how much from their company deciding that this kind of concept and look would sell the best.
@Uroojy Exactly. Plus, every country has those that have a secret side to them. Not everyone is who they seem. You just have to be careful and not throw your all into someone bc you never know. Good video.
I think part of the reason Korea and other Asian cultures can connect with and portray this "soft masculinity" is that they also have a stong collectivism mindset that is a part of their culture. In the more western ideal of individualism being tough, resiliant, and doing it on your own holds more value, but can also leave you more closed off. This is seen as more masculine. With a more cultural community mindset you give more to and rely more on your community. This cultural mindset also lead to a strong sense of community and unity within their fandoms (that can be and probably is exploited.). This focus on community can lead to a strong sense of higherarchy, status quo, and ristance to change or outside influence.
As an older, hetero woman, I can tell you "soft masculinity" has it's place. A strong man can have a soft side, still wear makeup (that is not obvious) and still be macho enough to satisfy a girl/woman's need for him. I personally find the overly feminine idols to not be attractive sexually, but still attractive as entertainers. For ex. Hyunjin and most of the Stray Kids members appear feminine and seemingly androgynous. As a real student of body language, and my age, IMO the Kpop overlords probably force the idols to act feminine due to this exact video topic. Most of the time, Lee Know and Felix of SKZ do not strike me as being overly feminine in ACTIONS and body language, only in appearance. When on stage, most of the idols I watch dance with a heavy dose of testosterone/power. When Hyunjin, Lee Know and Felix upload a dance trio.....there is nothing feminine and "girly" about their routines. Physically they may appear androgynous but they do not ACT androgynous. Bottom line: It's not what we say and appear that matters, it's what we DO that matters.
Apart from masculinity, aren’t they just beautiful, good for eyes, pleasure to look at? I would also appreciate masculine men with fine looks, like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise in their 20s. And why wearing makeup is not masculine? I don’t understand. Asian men are probably the most masculine males considering their accountability for family in the mainstream value.
It’s almost as if I flee to male idols in this place full of men who think they know what women want but are really the opposite of it. It’s so rare to find a man that radiates the same level of politeness, vulnerability and gentleness as male idols do. I want someone who seems willing to be close to me emotionally, takes care of themselves and has good manners. Being protective and providing is a secondary thought.
BTS, STRAY KIDS, NCT? the way he skips EXO! Tell me your are an Army, we all know how popular EXO were in Korea during 2015 - 2017 which was the timeline he talked about.
They may seem "softer" than masculine men, but they still are masculine and embrace that. For example, they still want a woman, they want to protect their woman, they want to be their strength. So to me it feels like the best of both worlds: want to look beautiful for their woman, be gentle and wholesome, but still embrace their role as men. Of course... We're talking about the facade we see these amazing actors and artists portray. Not sure how many Korean men actually are like this.
The chokehold bts has on indian and Pakistani girls is really fascinating to me, considering how rampant toxic masculinity is among desi men. The disparity between what women want and what men think women want is growing every day
Yessss you explained it perfectly
India is rape country. But south Korea males are red flag too.
They're still calling every Korean gay just because they appear soft so it's very true.
@@ihavermsthattypeofbrain8377 they should ask themselves then why millions of desi women would rather go after these so called " gay " men instead of desi men 🥱
@@boredkueen8784 exactly it's just that those toxic indian and so called masculinity savior guys don't know how to get a woman 😂💀
And also , I much rather would be a fan of the ' 7 gays in korea ' who respect everyone and especially girls rather than these so called masculine idiots .
I agree that this attraction to soft masculinity stems from the need that many girls and women have for sweetness, attention, respect and safety. The fantasy of K-dramas and k-pop is a sweet respite from a world filled with too much anger and ugliness.
Agree👍
take jaeil (taeil) as an exhample. soft looks but evil man
It's a pity that it hasn't translated better to the Korean society at large. Yes I'm referring to Nth room and its successors.
@@dotdotdotdotdotdotdottod1 person. Not 100. It can't be taken as a standart. Try again and better
@@tatianacabral4988 i gave one exhample.....sis like thats not generalizing thats just a reminder. cause it can happen
well soft masculinity is thousand times better than toxic masculinity
😂😂 p
There is no such thing as toxic masculinity. When a man is toxic, it's simply about his person and not about masculinity. Toxic masculinity is an offensive term, bc masculinity is a beautiful thing and men should be proud of it
Just because they look feminine doesn't mean they are not misogynistic, which is what toxic masculinity is referring to. South Korea is a WAY more patriarchal country than the US .
@@rainbowsubs2 bruh patriarchy doesn't have to be a bad or misogynistic lmao
@@niko5191 r u delusional?
BTS aren’t afraid to show their emotions and are closer then any brothers I’ve ever seen and show their fans so much love and are just beautiful talented people who have saved many of their fans lives so who cares about make up, seen them without any and still beautiful inside and out 🥰
Except v whos become so shameless and fake now....changed after his jennie relationship. Very inorganic to see....
@@TheShadowsFearXwtf r u on
@@yerii_z I'm wondering the same thing bc this just isn't true at all
You can call it soft masculinity but if you see them without makeup, they still are very attractive.
I am American and just discovered k-pop this year. I found Stray Kids by chance and became a fan, a Stay. I was amazed by their lack of toxic masculinity. In the US even teen boy singers these days have to be macho. They cant do anything cute, anything not seen as ultra masculine. What I love about Stray Kids is that they do really cute things at fan events but mostly love how freely they express affection for one another. They wear make up and jewelry and high fashion, yet they also have a lot of swagger when performing their music. They are definitely guys and exude guy energy but without the macho stuff and insecurity that we see with Western male singers and Western men in general. It's refreshing for a female who was only used to the latter. It is disappointing that the South Korean culture though is just as bad as in the West and most other countries.
A stayyyyy!
It's worse, there's a lot of se*ism, patriarchal structures etc.
couldn't have said it better myself !
Hollywood are better than Kpoop Idols aka two face snake aka devil in sheep clothing. Justin Bieber/Justin Timberlake have normal life/dating. Kpoop Idols keep hiding their victims/girlfriends. Kpoop Idols are two face snake like Yunho/Seungri/Taeil, etc.
Im from Argentina and I am also surprised by how weird Americans are, like here a guy kissing another guy on the cheek is just a greeting for us and no one would find it weird, same for acting cute
Don't underestimate those 'flower boys' I've seen plenty of them lose their temper and lay 'tough guys' flat. They are well known to be beautiful and will protect you with their life.
Agreed
Being a flower boy isn't about weakness in any way. I agree with what you said
Many are skilled in martial arts and will take you down if you need to be taken down!
In skz alone, Lee Know has like 3 Black belts in different marshal arts, Felix did Taekwondo (?) and won a bunch of medals with it, a bunch of them do boxing...
@@alinasmith5737 Add Changbin too, he's done martial arts as well. I don't think many people know this about him.
Until his death I ‘m an American who was married for 31 years to a soft masculine man. I was very happy with him. My friends envied me. He didn’t wear makeup and such but he helped equally with household chores and childcare. I adored him and so did his children. My grown son had him as a role model is is a loving husband and father. He’s been gone and I still miss him terribly, 13:03 ❤
I'm from Pakistan and honestly being a kpop stans i can sure many man's and even somethimes women will judge you here for liking male kpop idols or actors, alot of time you see comments like "they are gay" or not masculine enough for their soft Masculinity. But as you said i like how they are ❤ and ofcourse I don't expect every korean men or even idols are as innocent as we think. Take Taeil for instant.
Great video 👍
Thanks so much for sharing your perspective! It’s tough dealing with those judgments, but it’s awesome that you appreciate Kpop idols for who they are. And yes, not everyone is as innocent as they seem, taeil situation is definitely upsetting. Glad you enjoyed the video! ❤
People just judging them with their face.
Mean while their face: 🥰💖
Their body:💪🔥
@@UroojyKPop Idols are two face snake. They keep hiding their victims/girlfriends. Kpoop Idols are devil in sheep clothing. Just look at Yunho/Seungri/Taeil, etc. They have girly face but they are psyco.
I agree as a Pakistani
Don't let their exterior fool you korean men are very resilient and tougher than Pakistani men. I'm not referring to kpop idols but just general population men.
I have totally changed my mind when I discovered kpop. At first I was shocked that the male idols wearing makeup. Now it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm use to it now.
Let’s not forget that David Bowie wore a ton of makeup but somehow that was okay in the west. I think it’s the emotional honesty that the idols and actors portray that hooks us. Now if they could infect their societal norms, Korea would be unstoppable!
But every people (mostly) who comes onscreen wear makeup. People forgets that beautifying is not the only use of makeup. It helps with lighting and to make face clearly visible in any environment. As we know kpop idols are supposed to film in different environments, overseas, day-night...so it's necessary for them to wear makeup.
Like bro if men who wear makeup are gay, then most of the film actors are gay too🙄.
Same. I used to think BTS was too “girly” and other toxic masculine stuff but now it’s just normal
@@Be_kind_and_polite also Boy George. I will never forget that. We all didn't care about it.
@@Lunaarabhi exactly. That's what I said to my family, but to them it doesn't even matter.
One of the reasons that BTS songs are so impactful is that the guys sing them with so much genuine emotion. Western male singers always have one of those ironic smirks on their faces to tell you that they don't really mean it. At least not the vulnerable emotions.
Elevating my reply to Rosula D to repeat it here:
Just look at the imagery of Western men who are supposedly sexy-- what expression is that on their face in that sexy picture? It's hard to differentiate it from hostility. Cold, fixed stare, tight jaw and a touch of contempt. It's not about being romantic, it's about being one up on other men-- I guess the idea is that women are attracted to the man who can protect you from the bad guys. Except who's going to protect you from him?
Fraudhyung ruined all that....went so fraudulent and fake after his relationship jennie
"he idea is that women are attracted to the man who can protect you from the bad guys. Except who's going to protect you from him?'' - SUCH A GOOD RESPONSE. It really is that. Also I find a lot of western men are more of the same like they drive their personality from 1 sourse which makes them boring whereas Kpop idols within the same group will have different personalities and having those unique qualities highlighted
I grew up in a rural american town and discovered k-pop and k-dramas about a decade ago, when I was in high school. When I tell people that I like korean music and shows I almost always get comments like "aren't BTS gay? They wear makeup" or "Asian men really aren't for me. They're so feminine" Which has led me to deeply question what traits universally define masculinity and feminity, and to ask my friends to do the same. It turns out that, apart from "men are generally stronger" and "women are generally more nuturing" there isn't much. Where many of the men in my hometown are classic examples of toxic masculinity, or some of them were simply never taught (or expected) to demonstrate gentleness or emotional awareness, I really appreciate how male k-pop groups (like Stray Kids, BTS, and Seventeen) are emotionally vulnerable, respectful of women, and write positive and empowering songs for their fans. I'm very aware that South Korea has a long way to go in pursuit of equality for men and women, but I find the puplic personas of k-pop idols and the wholesome relationships shown in k-dramas to be very refreshing. I honestly really hope that it influences men AND women in the west more.
It's also worth mentioning that pretty much every male performer and any man who works in front of a camera wears make up, it's not something exclusive to only women or kpop idols.
I totally agree with you.❤
Same I agree
@@crystalsnow1138 It's also worth pointing out that make up was never made for women we just over the centuries had to fightt to wear it without being seen as women of the night eg women with no morals
@@eileencritchley4630 EXACTLY. Makeup, hair, fashion is all so subjective and really has nothing to do with gender. Long hair used to be considered masculine, and still is in many cultures. Men were the first to wear heels. Men have worn makeup for thousands of years. Pink didn't become a "girly" color until western advertisers decided it should be in the 1940s. The list goes on ..
"Kpop are idols show soft masculinity, the opposite of that narcissistic, macho, egoistic, bald, steroids, full of insecurity, masculinists masculinity." more accurate
What you just described is not even masculinity lmao🤣 These macho guys are soft af on the inside
Great video! The reason male k-pop idols are so popular, especially in countries where patriarchy is more prevalent, is the same reason so many het women enjoy BL: After millenia of violence, women want to feel safe! And guess what: Men have managed to equate masculinity with violence (either verbal or physical) against women. And that doesn't fly anymore. It's sad that instead of understanding how deep of a hole men have dug for themselves by refusing to show more emotional awareness and vulnerability, many of them double down and demand that women just accept their bs. As long as k-pop (and k-dramas honestly) keep presenting this alternative idea of masculinity, het women will keep flocking to it.
Exactly! Just look at the imagery of Western men who are supposedly sexy-- what expression is that on their face in that sexy picture? It's hard to differentiate it from hostility. Cold, fixed stare, tight jaw and a touch of contempt. It's not about being romantic, it's about being one up on other men-- I guess the idea is that women are attracted to the guy who can protect you from the bad guys. Except who's going to protect you from him?
I agree with you. Women want attention, safety, respect and love which rarely comes from toxic masculinity. But there are also some women who say "Men who express their emotions are corny and icky" AND THEY BREAK UP WITH THEM JUST FOR BEING VULNERABLE! While the bad guys keep being toxic, the decent real man stays away. I would die for a guy being comfortable enough to share their struggles and pain with me.
@@loneweenie You'll notice though that the type of women that don't want men who express emotions are not the type of women that like Kpop.
The majority of BTS don't care about what someone wears or if they use make up or not it's about that it's about music and tbh most of us aren't really kpop fans in the first place. Many of us aren't into K Drama's either. We want music with good lyric's and music that meets our differing musical tastes which we find with BTS we are have you understood BTS lyric the topic's they talk Rap and sing about? It's why am I rock fan and Rap fan because Rock music tends to have something important to say it's often politicial or socially aware subject matter. Rap is the same until you get some of the newer USA Rappers. BTS music and lyric's fit with my mindset while the rest of kpop doesn't.
Nice to meet u again 😅@@eileencritchley4630
Your friend was never an ARMY if he or she turned away from BTS because of something as trivial as, make up…. (which most men I n theatre, TV, and film also wear / use)
True that! ❤
True very true
An ARMY made a comment that stuck with me.
She said, the reason why Yoongi (Suga from BTS) is so popular is because he carries his masculinity. His masculinity doesn't carry him.
I remember reading a piece regarding why the British men was so against the Viking men. It stated: "These men who take a bath every day are stealing our women" or something along that line. So women being interested in men who take care of themselves isn't a new thing.
I know there are other reasons as well, like you stated. I just find the whole concept strange.
I am Irish and discovered Kdrama last year, i haven't been able to watch western movies since, I'm hooked. I also love stray kids and BTS .
I saw Taehyung I clicked 🤷♀️
Same 😂
same haha
FRR
same I'm a simp hands down 🧎♀️ lmao
Hes just JenniesBtch now lmfao....got dumped fr a reason. C0wardhyung
What many outsiders avoid opening their eyes to is that soft masculinity ain't in any way equated to weakness. A lot of these idols have black belts in martial arts. But outside that, many women find men who can process, articulate, and express emotions way stronger in real life. Suppressed emotions in men are if anything a sense of loss of safety for women. All that suppression is going to burst out one day and harm no one but that very woman. Take BTS's lyrics. Don't even bother about looks, personality, or skills. The lyrics are actually really profound in articulating emotions and livelihood changes that so often many in deep mental health declines find hard to express. So it becomes desirable because many women feel that at a time of distress, the man will be capable of navigating unlike those who put up a facade but often lose their temper and make things more triggering.
This the best-researched, most comprehensive and articulate description of these societal changes that I've seen so far. The role of gender stereotyping, and institutionalized misogyny in past as well as contemporary South Korean society is multi-faceted and complex. I deeply appreciate how careful this content creator was in his analysis and I applaud his scholarship and insight. As an older ARMY from America, I also enjoyed learning more about the historical and cultural contexts that BTS emerged from. Bravo!
I agree! I'm also an older viewer and appreciate the historical context.
0:18 It actually goes way further back then bishonen. All the way back in feudal china, the soft masculinity in men was highly sought after. Men like Pan An being known to recieve a lot of female attention while also being described to have delicate slender features. When you see girls gather in crowds for people like V or Eunwoo, they are very much in the same vein as people like Pan. Women in east asia seems to just have a naturally higher penchant towards these type of men historically, and it isn't some kind of recent phenomenon as bishonen. Even in the west, this has been going on way longer, and iirc, the bishonen aesthetic in anime/manga was largely inspired by Bjorn, who was once described to be the most beautiful boy in the world.
This topic was so interesting to me I saw one video of V a fan cam on Instagram and was so surprised I ended up becoming a BTS fan fast forward a few years I'm still here. And I do like k-dramas too. I feel as though there is more tenderness in them. Fascinating video thank you so much!
Same. I liked BTS through V's fancam
@@ST-qv3hn 💜💜💜
I never really thought about how they looked for me it was BTS music then their personalities and good looks came second. Funny thing is I remember when they were thought too ugly to be part of a kpop group, at the time I laughed and though whatever I'm here for their music. They are extremely good looking and extremely talented men but their looks could fade and I'd still be here for their music.
@@eileencritchley4630 Absolutely I would too! Their music is incredibly amazing! And they're genuine personalities make them even more special!
korean society is one way... and kpop world is a glossy candy wrapped version, that make things appear as they are not irl.
But the actual men themselves in these boy groups... SURE some are bad and evil, like taeil... others are just misogynistic bc that's the society they live in, whilst others are maybe out of that mindset, and don't see the world like the previous generation do. But we have no real clue how they ACTUALLY view women. What we see is they themselves are not scared to look and appear soft. feminine. they are not scared to show emotional or physical affection with each other. so fans see how kind they are to their members, and how soft they appear in aesthetics and it is such a nice breath of fresh air, in contrast to the rest of the world with all it's tough guy bs.
even if it's a facade or not as real as we hope, it's is what we we WISH and want. we want men to show affection to one another. we want kindness and softness as well as the more typical traits of masculinity. i think women jsut truly desire kindness and a sweet soft person who doesn't have such a hard shell and see femininity as weakness. but see it as power and beauty.
Another feminist comment
@@XxCørpsegirlXxso what? Wanna put her/him down to make you feel superior?
It is very interesting to know the psychology of this
Glad you found it interesting!
I used to watch all western films with lead characters that were older, stubbled, and highly masculine men. When I watched my first kdrama I was in shock that the lead male was young, slim, had perfect, clear skin and looked very feminine to me. I struggled to compute it and kind of watched with disbelief if nothing else. Fast forward a couple of years and loads of kdramas (during the peak of covid), and now I watch very little else but kdramas. I am a huge fan of the group "Stray kids", and listen to all kpop and no western music. I did recently watch the new Wolverine and Deadpool movie...but literally only because my kpop group was in the soundtrack! lol. Anyway, it's interesting to me that my taste adjusted to the korean look. I love the emotional intelligence of Stray kids. I could never understand how lots of women in the west seek out hyper- masculine men that treat them badly...I think that western culture has promoted ideals that are anti-feminist and women are so brain washed by the culture they don't even realise how down trodden they are (although it sounds even worse in South Korea for women). Honestly, when I saw that quote from that leader I actually thought that just bringing the good influences from the west and not the bad sounds like a good plan in principle. For example, I love rap but western rap is full of violence and extreme mysoginy. I'm so pleased I've found Stray kids that incorporate rap but with inspiring and empowering lyrics instead.
Well said. I feel the same and am a Stay too.
I like what you said. I'm also a fan of skz. My favorite k-drama is Vincenzo. My first one was Hometown Cha Cha Cha. The song I really liked turned out to be by a member of Stray Kids. I'm not delulu by any means. I just enjoy the lack of toxic masculinity that I grew up with. I'm 53.
@@Ivory35 Thanks. My favourite kdrama is Vincenzo too! I'm 55 and like to think I'm not delulu, but keep going deeper down that rabbit hole. Went to my first festival in many years to see Stray kids at Hyde Park and I like to annoy my kids by sending Stray kids gifs when I use Discord. Strangely, liking Stray Kids has really improved my life. I love their music and inspirational work ethic..but the best part is how heartwarming it is to watch their genuine light-hearted interactions. Those social skills are under-rated. If more guys interacted like that perhaps there would be less toxic masculinity around.
Have you seen "Ravage Mike" reacting to Stray Kids? I recommend him from his first reaction to Megaverse. He's so funny because he coughs and almost falls asleep through half his reactions (poor guy has insomnia), but he's such a genuine guy and you can literally watch his mood improve across his reactions as he turns into a fully fledged STAY. Oops, went off topic. Proof of my delulu I guess. 😆
@STAY.IKNOWYOUKNOWWEKNOW...
LMBO, I FOLLOW HIM TOO! Since his first skz video. Stray kids is why I'm a follower of his lol.
@@Ivory35 Really?! Lol. I wonder if you like these Stray kids reactors...Handsome Sausages, Roscoe, Katriinka, Max Beaumont, Chloe May Reacts and Jordon Orme. Hope that's not tmi, but we seem to have similar taste. Perhaps you could let me know if there's a great reactor I'm missing out on. I watch others too, but I like the variety of angles these reactors cover. Now I'm thinking about it, it makes me realise how my life has been taken over by Stray Kid's content!! Lol.
While soft masculinity is popular and has good qualities, in Korea itself, this is largely a Seoul phenomenon. Outside of Seoul, many men don’t agree with Korean men being portrayed in this way because it’s seen as emasculation. My husband is from Gyeongsangdo where Busan is, and he isn’t a huge fan either. He can display softer, caring characteristics too, but Gyeongsang men are not as keen on this trend and care more about traditional masculine looks. I like both types of men as long as they are good people. 👍🏻
Exactly. What matters most is that a man is kind, capable, cultured and not a brute. Rest is negotiable.
@@arien_000 Yes, you can be a nice, caring, good person regardless of what style you adopt 👍🏻
This is fascinating. Great video. And lol the editor is V-biased. 💜
@VishuZ1 he didn't, I'm just joking. 😄 There are just a lot of shots of V in this video.
This is my type of quality content, keep going bro ❤
Glad you enjoy it!
I’m a European girl (woman) and I love soft masculinity and South East Asian men 💗I discovered this whole new world this year actually (K-drama, K-pop, J-drama, J-pop etc.) These type of guys are so hot and exactly my type. And so different from what I’m used to. Also I love BL😍
It isn’t surprising though… It isn’t a coincidence that the worst offence someone can do to a woman’s beauty is calling her “masculine”, while pretty boys are mainly judged for their seemingly lack of strength and looking gay (not really attacking their looks).
It’s true that societal standards often harshly critique women for any traits perceived as masculine, while men face different forms of judgment. This reflects deep-seated gender biases that shape how beauty and masculinity are viewed. Thanks for pointing that out!
What do guy men look like what activities hobbies, work do gay men do oh wait the same as non gay men. Same with women. Some people really like to stero type people into little boxes and judge people on what box they believe a person should belong to just for the way the look sorry but that's completely weird to me.
These outer looks are just the surface. What matters most is one's character. But of course how we carry ourselves is greatly influenced by our character so i guess looks matters to a certain degree. Honestly, both traditional-looking men and flower boy types have their charms but what matters most is that a man is capable, kind and cultured.
Anyway for me, softness should contain hardness, and hardness should contain softness - this is how each person should be regardless of gender and sex. In short we all need both masculine and feminine qualities in right proportions to have a balanced personality which in itself is a very attractive thing.
I'm Australian and I am seeing Stray Kids in Sydney in October. CANT WAIT... Felix and bangchan are Aussies.
Lemme save this for later, cause i wanna know why i'm so attached to them..frl..lol
Take your time to explore what draws you to them it can be an interesting journey of self-discovery 😄
I really enjoyed this video. Very insightful and informative.
I tend to find Asian men more desirable for a somewhat odd reason: they are generally clean shaven.
Nearly every other male in the world thinks that looking like they just rolled out of bed after a rough night is attractive.
But give me a clean shaven man who combed his hair every time. He’s more likely to have good personal hygiene.
Believe it or not men in the entertainment world wear makeup when they go on TV.
They do,but they still look like men and I haven't seen any other male celebrity to wear eyeshadow, bright bold lipstic. Men with this feminine makeup look weird.
They do,but they still look like men and I haven't seen any other male celebrity to wear eyeshadow, bright bold lipstic. Men with this feminine makeup look weird.
When i got into kpop i used to Google are korean men really like kdrama actors AHKAKSK😅
Haha, that’s so relatable! I think a lot of us have wondered the same thing at some point. Kdramas really set the bar high with their dreamy characters😅
Brooo I did the sameee😮
I hope we all can realise that men in kdramas are men written by women and not representative of kr men irl.
Yes, kpop attracts people by their soft masculinity
It should be the music that attracts you to a group of musicians singers artists. The message the convey in their music.
Now regardless of wether they look sweet and innocent or tough and rebellious, YOU STILL DON'T KNOW THEM. Y'all need to accept the fact that you don't know them irl. You only know what they want you to know.
Like Oshi no Ko said: idols sell dream and fantasy we never had irl. So it would affected people much aside from young delulu fans. Many old kpoper fans like me follow them for their music or their aesthetic
no shit
i live in vietnam where a LOT of people (mostly boys) always hate it when they see a kpop fan. they always said something like 'theyre gay' or 'their music sounds the same', 'they look all the same'. id never understand why they said that cause the point of makeup is to define your features, make your face look more lively and suit the concept which theyre working with so basically its normal and even male models wear makeup?? and saying their music is trash despite the fact that you havent even heard 5 kpop songs is jst insane😭
'they look all the same' so.... basically youre jst either racist or lacking recognition ability🧍♀
Well, just ignore them.
They might be envious since kpop males attract too many girls and females.
What we see on TV seems like the majority likes kpop, but in reality when you enter the outside world, you’ll see people criticizing it.
Not me seeing this after the Taeil situation!!!!!
Same
Just because he may be bad means everyone is bad.
@@TrinhNguyen-sh4fj okay. And where in my statement did it warranty this defense mechanism????? Show me where. 😭😭😭
@@TrinhNguyen-sh4fj Exactly. I'm tired of people trying to lump all k-pop idols together like they all are bad because one idol did something criminal.
@@ccgrey8731it's not just one idol
Sending this to my mom so that she can finally stop asking “why do you like those Chinese guys? They look gay” I’ve told her so many times that just cuz they wear makeup they aren’t gay, but as always people think it’s funny and always laugh which makes me so mad, but when it’s someone who you love and they’re laughing and making fun of the only thing that sincerely makes you happy, it just hurts.
Ignore them, they just don’t understand or are envious of the artist or envious because you love who you love more 😢
@@doreencalderon1442 yeah that’s what I always tell myself but it’s hard to ignore them sometimes😢
@@Quokkababygirlfanfics Yes, it's like they feel the need to tell me they think I have bad taste. Hey, jerks, how about saying, "I'm so glad that you've found something that nourishes you." Talking to you, Cousin Ed.
@@mplahke fr
My uncle does this like wtf he didn't even know what k-pop was until last year 😢
But now if I even mention it in passing he's like 'oh u still have that disease" and "that's gaayy" like I wasn't even talking to u so if u could just shut up??
Also my boy bestfriend introduced me to BTS like three years ago, and at first I didn't like them (the only song I heard was butter) but then I got hooked and now I'm...... Yeah. I'm an ARMY and I'm proud of it. But as soon as I started liking them even a little bit he(the boy bsf) started hating them like wtf bro why? Now every time I see him he goes 'oh ur so obsessed ' and 'i hate BTS i hate K-pop i wanna bomb South Korea ' like dude please.
I have a few ARMY friends and I've made my mom and dad into ARMY too, but still 90% of people look at me like "tf is wrong with u" when they see the BTS bracelet on my wrist or my BTS necklace. And they'll go "oh you like BTS? I hAaAtE BTS tHeYrE sO bAd" like have u even listened to their songs? Like *listened* properly? No. So don't talk shit. But I can't say that because then I'll get a lecture for being 'rude' like dude.
Imo, nothing hurts more than someone putting down and dissing something or someone that you love and gives you the most happiness. Like u can diss me all u want but you say one WORD about BTS ima taekwondo kick your ass to Jupiter shut your big mouth.
But now I'm tryna calm down bc I know that they don't matter. They don't know. They don't know anything. And you can't educate an idiot.
I think bros bias is Taehyung 😭 /jjk
Who's bias isn't Taehyung?
@MaeMae888 same,,
8:50
As a woman in her 20's I deeply agree with this fact that we appreciate men who don't hide their emotions while communicating.
I said this to my male friend
To don't hide how he feels because I'm not gonna judge you for getting emotional.
It’s a huge Industry- they know how to sell dreams perfectly. In a little Country where Sex sells , Surgeries normal & deadly Diets hyped. Youth is everything there….
Very insightful, I actually learned quite a bit. Thank you for such a great presentation.
1st of all this is such a well done video! I need to add that also for me when you see kpop idols in a group, their team dynamic is very much highlighted and you get to see how they work as a team and provide for one another. I find this very appealing because this give a sort of a glimpse to their abillity to see the other person and provide help and comfort which is what most modern women crave in a partner imo.
Thanks for this! Learnt a lot.
Very welcome!
I think this might be why even I was just 5 I would look the most handsome man in the world and just look at them and be like "but their not even that handsome....😔" but then I saw who I now know is taehyung and jungkook mostly taehyung and I would be like "they should be at top 😓" , but let's fast forward to 2020 when I was 8 my big sister got until to kpop and I would always listen to their music with her and one group I always look forward to listen to was now what I know is called BTS but at the time my brain never click that one of then was the the some person I use to think was the most handsome man in the world no matter what the chart said when I was 5 and fast forward to 2023 I was 11 I was watching RUclips and pass this video called something like "bts being the funniest people ever" by sagaArmy and was like " I mean it's not like watching this video is going to hurt me... " so I click on the video and Caught my eye bc he's was so handsome and kind and funny I just loved everything about him. Can guess who made me want to get more until bts....! So I remember watching more bts videos from sagaArmy and I was like "I have to know this guys name!" So I look up all the bts members names and then I look up each member Individually and Implanted which name go to who and how they looked until I find him and leaned his name was....................... jungkook! and took me a week to listen to any song by them (by myself bc my sis use to play them " and it was fake love. Fast forward to now I'm a full time army my bias is jungkook and my bias wreckers are mostly taehyung and then yoongi and then jhope but what I'm trying to said is that Softness is what I like in men and many other women (or men) can Relate to this so I do think that is one of the reasons kpop is so Popular.
It’s amazing how your journey with BTS started so early and how you connected with their softness and personality! I think a lot of people relate to finding comfort and admiration in their gentle and kind nature. Thanks for sharing your story.
@@Uroojy 🥰💜✨
Loved this video so much that i watched it again.
You're the best!
Just because idols show sensitivity, almost always related to winning or performing somewhere, just because they are pretty and wear makeup doesn’t meant they are progressive in how they see a woman’s rights and responsibilities. They hardly live in a world where they can have normal interactions with women in everyday life. I really can’t say I know how any of them think about women. They wouldn’t be allowed to discuss it by their companies. The best you can do is guess about them if they have sisters and mothers, or work with female professionals, who can vary from Rino to Min He Jin. Your premise is sound. Young women want safe, soft boys to crush one - if they’re too scared for that they can get into shipping. However, it’s a bit of a fantasy. When push comes to shove, every Korean man is still mostly full of male strengths and weaknesses. And desires to be seen as manly. Even the beautiful ones. Confucianism doesn’t help. Also, as we grow up, softness in men can present difficulties. Women tend to want strong men to protect them and their children when they are mothers with little kids. I even think it’s an evolutionary design. Personally, I like flower boys. But I’m way grown up and on my own.
Shipper's are delulu's and village gossips they need some mental health professionals.
No we don't want that. we want men that are supportive and work as a team with us. Men we can trust and will be respectful of us as we are of them as fellow human beings. Knowing we have each other's backs and will defend each other as and when required we don't need men to fight our battles for us.
I have to say that Seo Taji & Boys weren't just about a "soft masculinity" so much as emulating American Boy Bands (like New Kids on the Block) who were also quite 'soft' and had more of a pretty boy concept. - Good, thorough video though! Thank you!
Great insights
Loved the video
One of the best vids about the subject I have seen for a long time.
Seo Taiji was my first celebrity crush! I guess you can say I've been on this KPop ride since the beginning when 'Balloon Wars' was a thing!🎈🎈
Excellent video. A small but important step for both men and women is acceptance……
8:16 yes just like they shouldnt insult kpop idols with nasty words or at least in front of someone who like kpop
Absolutely 💯
The video gave me lots of insights about my favorite k-pop idols. The guys are just great actors and work hard to meet marketing requirements, but they are criticized so heavily by people who are unaware about the rules of modern k-pop industry. You gave me so many clues about proper answers to haters and antis who disrespect my favorite idols. Thank you so much for your content.
Definitely. Immediately thought of Hwarang, and the idea is nearly as old as the country itself. (Hyperbole, guys.)
I appreciate the research that you presented here. It was very informative! Thank you
Not only Kpop Idols. We have other examples in the west such as Harry Stiles and even Justin Bieber at his early years, or Timothe Chalamet (that 3 days older than V).
I'm a 56yo Portuguese woman living in the UK for quite some time now and mother of 2 girls and 2 boys - my youngest son is 23 yo and reminds me of Jimin a lot even though my son is quite a bit taller. The oldest would have been 27yo but unfortunately didn't pass 9yo due to cancer, so there is no way to know how he would have became.
My therapist friend says that I like K pop Idols (mainly BTS) because I'm projecting my lost son into them. Maybe he is right to some degree, probably more than what I would like to give in credit for, if I consider that V reminds me of him way too much... Or maybe because I was in a very complicated relationship for many years with my ex husband and father of my kids and want to believe that there is still some kind of hope for mankind with better, less complicated relationships, more love, more respect, less greed... And as much as I believe that my son is doing what he can to change his piece of the world, he doesn't have the reach or influence that BTS has. Or maybe this is expecting too much from the guys: after all this is not what they have sign up for... but one can only hope, isn't it?
Hollywood ruined Justin Bieber
I love how much skz was included in this video lmao
Women are tired of war, anger turned toward them because of something that happened at work, and tired of doing all the heavy lifting. Women in just about every culture do the majority of house work and at least k-dramas show that no matter how rich or powerful the men are, they are still willing to cook, clean, and be an emotional support for women. They also show that no matter how feminine they look, they will protect women, even if it's just to protect her from rain (umbrellas are so important in k-dramas). In some regards, the k-pop or k-drama idol is the perfect man, non-violent unless it is needed, respectful of women, willing to open up with their emotions, attentive when they are feeling well, supportive of their work lives, shares in housework and child rearing, all while living a respectful life. Are their things that are undesirable, yes, but all women think that he will change for her. LOL
Yasss! Totally agree. I am sick of this toxic promotion of the manosphere/Kevin Samuels/BluePill Redpill that is rampant in American culture. I have been binging on Kdramas these past two weekends and I have never felt so safe and happy watching them!
i agree they are just very charming, not just physically to me with the lack of excessive facial hair, great fashion, but also the character of being wholesome, kind, non aggro and respectful, even tho is scripted to an extent, its just very appealing to me as a woman
I believe Changbin from skz and dongpyo from Mirae have talked about toxic masculinity before and I think that’s rlly cool
This explained a lot that I have wondered about, particularly the effect of the economic crisis on men's appearance, shifts in censorship, and important people in the music industry. This is useful content that I hope many people will see. Thank you so much! I'm gonna hit that Subscribe button.
Love bts v 💜
I'll just say: Seungri and Taeil
That was great mini doco….so interesting!!
Great video - very informative.
I literally hated most men, toxic masculinity, patriarchy and ridiculous strong tough macho guys before I discovered K-pop and BTS. And I'm not a 15 year old girl, I was 33 when i became a BTS fan and I had a whole life of experience of ugly patriarchal world. When I found BTS I couldn't believe it..I was like "so nice, kind, lovely, amazing men actually exist?!?!" I would never want/settle for anything else than men who are like them.
Actually, I do not care how exo looked like. I became a fan because of their talents, personalities and their sense of humor 😊.
No - I’m a woman & love them the way I loved the Glam Rock guys & Paul McCartney. Gorgeous guys, plus wonderful dancing & great music!!!
Also did you really list groups that made YG famous & leave off BIG BANG???????
That was really interesting and well made. I wish we can see soft masculinity being expressed in real life too.
very good video on this topic!
when you exclude the people who are attracted to them on a superficial level, i also think that the image a lot of those kpop boygroups give is a safe space for women. i don't think the fans are all naive on their parasocial relationship, I just think it feels nice having the 'fantasy' of men being understanding and emotionally open without getting backlash. especially since misogyny is on the rise in multiple countries all over the world again.
i saw accounts shaming taeil fans after the recent event and that they 'should have known better than to believe those men are all good'. but i also don't want to live in a world where i have to assume every single man is a sexual predator from the start. most of us are aware that stage makeup is stage makeup, that certain outfits are for the stage only and just bcs they have a certain persona, they don't have to be this way personally.
When I was younger, Kpop members were interesting to me because the marketing was so well done. You have boybands and girlgroups who bring out catchy songs with elaborate fun choreography. Where in the west do you still see this kind of thing? As far as I'm concerned, it was more a thing in the 90s. Also the fact that they appear in variety shows, share many behind the scenes and rehearsal footages among other things, contributes to the popularity of Kpop. It's very interactive.
I am indian and i am more in bit tan, muscular men in my family beard is bit looked down upon so i had any issue with them not having bread it also reflects in my kpop idols too i stan seventeen where mingyu and other seventeen members are so masculine but he have to apply light shade of foundation n appear with soft makeup even though he looks best without makeup he's definitely not a normal kpop idol i would call him greek god (its a compliment here)but on stage they have to apply makeup and bows i feel happy seeing them without makeup on their yt channel and in going seventeen web series its not that everyone loves soft masculine idols everyone has preference i have seen girls dying over ma dong son too
Excellent thoughtful analysis! I appreciate the amount of research you put into yhis video. I learned much more than I anticipated. So thanks for educating us. I'm relatively new to k-pop, so I liked learning about the historicaI events in the industry. As well as the history of this particular male archetype in Asian sociolgy. I also hope that culture will improve to reflect characteristics we respect and love most, especially for women. ❤
I came to love and watch these guys 4 years ago and i'm Still watching the videos movies and i love doing that!! 9/20/2024
I live in the U.S. and have made a 100% change in how I feel about soft masculinity. As a woman, this soft masculinity makes these k pop artists, ESPECIALLY BTS, absolutely huggable. Like a little kitty or puppy…you want to cuddle and protect it. They are strong, macho men…but unlike other parts of the world… they have a pure sweetness, kindness and humbleness that cause the desire to wrap our arms around them…and hold on tight.
just like this soft masculine image of male kpop idols is called flower boys in korea, india have the same kind of soft masculine image too in bollywood back in the early to late 2000s which was called chocolate boys which which was use to describe sweet, gentle and friendly looking guy with the most beautiful smile that would light up the whole town but with a clean shaven face and a masculine body with abs! and some of the bollywood actors who had this look were shahid kapoor, saif ali khan, hritik roshan, imraan khan among many other bollywood actors who's looks were on the hyper masculine side and these chocolate boys were literally the heart throbs of an entire nation of 1 billion people but as we entered the 10's bollywood male actors heavily started having beard and mustaches to look like that stereotypical tough masculinity thinking this is attractive looking and also to hide their weak ass looking jawline instead of hitting the gym and loosing fat they would hide it with their facial hair, when in reality they literally look so unkempt and shabby and even these original chocolate boys of the 2000's also unfortunatly followed the trend and succumbed to this growing tough looking guy stupidity and literally right now every single male bollywood actor have this kind of look making this chocolate boy look so uncommon now and honestly its so annoying i really dont like anyone in bollywood apart from sidharth malhotra who debuted in the early 10's, still despite the tough guy look trend maintains that chocolate boy look and he looks so handsome cuz he really is a very good looking guy and a talented actor too so he is the only one i like in bollywood now
What an amazing vid to stumble upon, I found a love for kpop later BUT used to get the same discussions around male J rock stars which I STILL listen to many of the og "androgynous" or SEXLESS men today❤. Amazing points and BACKING
Thanks for the very informative video! It's actually quite upsetting when you realise that the soft masculinity we adore in K-pop idols is still just a fantasy for the most part and not something society has ever actually encouraged. It's sad that the only thing that keeps healthy masculinity alive is the fact that it makes money just like any other product, it's basically used as a weapon when it could actually influence a healthy standard for the male gender because men are also victims of patriarchy and often don't even realise how much it harms them too.
i see felix, i click the video
interesting topic. thank you
It helps when you’ve had work done
This girl right here loves a man who works out and takes care of his health thats the type of masculinity i want 😂❤ and he protects me, you can cancel me if you want
Very good article! I was a bit puzzled in the beginning of my K-Pop time about the massive make-up at men too, but on the other hand every person working for public like a news speaker etc. wear make-up and why not, same right for all gender! I was and still I am impressed that they show feelings, discuss about nearly everything and that is what I admire the most beneath their great music of course! And yes, I still know that the Korean Society is far away from the habits of their idols, so sad! But hopefully it‘ll change slightly, the Machos and the Government gets punishment by the low birth rate…
While male idols wear plenty makeup...doesn't them all look feminine. They still look like men...just pretty
There's definitely a difference in soft masculinity as it pertains to looks and to characteristics. The two don't have to coincide. Taking regular people, I think Nordic countries are probably the most equal countries in the world where men take on more and more of the traditionally feminine roles at home for example, but the visual ideal tends to be quite rugged. When it comes to kpop, you also have to remember that it's an industry, and the artists are usually coached for years and years down to the tiny details of facial expressions, why? To sell. What I'm interested in is how much of the stylistic change you can trace in the evolution of BTS, for example, has come from the artists themselves and how much from their company deciding that this kind of concept and look would sell the best.
soft masculine boys will always be my weakness
All able bodied Korean men have to go to the Korean army. This is no joke. Harsh winters, sweltering summers, no to little rights.
Men aren't one size fits all. We are all individual people. It's not natural for everyone to be the same even if you believe it is.
Look at 8:05
Absolutely, expecting everyone to fit into a single mold is wrong
@Uroojy
Exactly. Plus, every country has those that have a secret side to them. Not everyone is who they seem. You just have to be careful and not throw your all into someone bc you never know. Good video.
I think part of the reason Korea and other Asian cultures can connect with and portray this "soft masculinity" is that they also have a stong collectivism mindset that is a part of their culture. In the more western ideal of individualism being tough, resiliant, and doing it on your own holds more value, but can also leave you more closed off. This is seen as more masculine. With a more cultural community mindset you give more to and rely more on your community. This cultural mindset also lead to a strong sense of community and unity within their fandoms (that can be and probably is exploited.). This focus on community can lead to a strong sense of higherarchy, status quo, and ristance to change or outside influence.
As an older, hetero woman, I can tell you "soft masculinity" has it's place. A strong man can have a soft side, still wear makeup (that is not obvious) and still be macho enough to satisfy a girl/woman's need for him. I personally find the overly feminine idols to not be attractive sexually, but still attractive as entertainers. For ex. Hyunjin and most of the Stray Kids members appear feminine and seemingly androgynous. As a real student of body language, and my age, IMO the Kpop overlords probably force the idols to act feminine due to this exact video topic. Most of the time, Lee Know and Felix of SKZ do not strike me as being overly feminine in ACTIONS and body language, only in appearance. When on stage, most of the idols I watch dance with a heavy dose of testosterone/power. When Hyunjin, Lee Know and Felix upload a dance trio.....there is nothing feminine and "girly" about their routines. Physically they may appear androgynous but they do not ACT androgynous.
Bottom line: It's not what we say and appear that matters, it's what we DO that matters.
Apart from masculinity, aren’t they just beautiful, good for eyes, pleasure to look at? I would also appreciate masculine men with fine looks, like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise in their 20s. And why wearing makeup is not masculine? I don’t understand. Asian men are probably the most masculine males considering their accountability for family in the mainstream value.
It’s almost as if I flee to male idols in this place full of men who think they know what women want but are really the opposite of it. It’s so rare to find a man that radiates the same level of politeness, vulnerability and gentleness as male idols do. I want someone who seems willing to be close to me emotionally, takes care of themselves and has good manners. Being protective and providing is a secondary thought.
BTS, STRAY KIDS, NCT? the way he skips EXO! Tell me your are an Army, we all know how popular EXO were in Korea during 2015 - 2017 which was the timeline he talked about.
To be fair this isn’t even new, yall rember DiCaprio jack from the titanic. It’s just a lot more of them.
They may seem "softer" than masculine men, but they still are masculine and embrace that. For example, they still want a woman, they want to protect their woman, they want to be their strength. So to me it feels like the best of both worlds: want to look beautiful for their woman, be gentle and wholesome, but still embrace their role as men.
Of course... We're talking about the facade we see these amazing actors and artists portray. Not sure how many Korean men actually are like this.
Good one!