Hey Ellen! Could you do a video on the pros and cons of writing in first-person and third-person respectively in regards to how the reader experiences the story as well as how it is presented? Thanks!
Perhaps you could talk about second-person as well? Very rarely talked about (or used) perspective in my experience, that some people don't even understand when they come across a story written in it...
What about starting with gibberish? Smiggle wiggle da da figgle! The reader will be captured wondering why you're writing in a bizarre language. They'll turn page after page to find out, but they won't be able to read a thing. As a bonus, it's an easy way to write a mystery novel.
Ellen is a great example of someone who knows what they’re talking about and can confidently express it without the arrogance and abuse that indicates insecurity and random success. When she uses examples they illustrate the point and more importantly, the function of the device or structure. She doesn’t need camera mugging or an ostentatious list of hack titles, she has well thought content and experience. Very refreshing.
When Hiruho Tanaka woke up that day, she knew it was going to be big. She reformed and rehearsed her arguments countless times. She was confident that her persuasion would finally work out. That finally, after two hundred and seventy-four years, the gate of Vault 2112 would open. ---- This is the opening for my short four chapter story. It was originally written in czech and on about 4 pages for my high school finals last year, but I've decided to rewrite and extend it in English. We were given a basic, clichéd premise (earth overtaken by aliens, humans underground etc) but I think I'm doing a good job with it.
Personally, I really like your story opening. I have a few minor quibbles with the phraseology, but that's probably due to the translation. I'd like to read the whole thing. Good job!
My first thought is the antecedent of "it" in the first sentence -- _what_ will be big? I wish I could read your story (novella?). It sounds interesting. I guess that means your "hook" and the "blerb" (the second paragraph, introducing the story), combined, are successful.
Your story is too long. Shorten your story by deleting the middle. Wait a few days. Read the shortened version again, and it will be obvious to you what is missing between the front and the back of your story, and you will know what to add back into the middle, if anything at all. It's a variation on, "you don't know what you have until it's gone."
Add three obstacles to your main character's path to the ending. Each obstacle should be more difficult and put the MC in a worse situation that they barely overcome. The last obstacle should very nearly end the MC's pathway/life all together. From this last obstacle the MC should be second guessing the way forward. Give them a brief respite/recovery then plunge on into the ending as the MC'S resolve is distilled and the necessity of persevering to the end is given a cost/benefit that compels them to go for it.
If the middle is boring, the author must have be side tracked. My most recent novel was originally thought to be worth 50,00 words--barely enough to be classed as a novel. When I got done writing it, it was almost 100,000 words. But each paragraph moved the story along, about two ordinary guys who become domestic terrorists. My novel has 24 chapters. Each tells its own smaller story, which adds to the main one. So, in effect there is no middle. Don't write anything that doesn't move the story forward.
hooking readers variable depending on setting - plot - genre (representative for your novel) 1- interesting setting (unusual elements) 2- interesting circumstance of the chch (invisible man) 3- raise question in the reader (why is she poising the soap) 4- conflict regarding desire or goal 5- conflict demonstrating the chch problem
I have watched many many videos on craft, and most are just words with no practical application. I learned more in the last hour of watching your videos than I did over the last year.
Here's another tip. They say, "find your voice!" But what they don't know, that they really mean, "develop voices". Style. It's about the voiceS you've developed and the dynamics between them, not a bout A voice. Beastmode marmaduke. You either get it or learning
Mr and Mrs Dursley of Number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. I'll leave to figure out where it comes from
I admit I started watching your videos years ago because you're adorable, and I am so glad because your videos are just the best. Direct and to the point, complete, and clear. But most of all you are able to convey the rules of convention in a way that doesn't make this anti-conformist off. You have a great way of explaining the "rules" as if they are Tools rather than being requirements. You have changed my opinion on all the things I was resistant to. Thanks for that. You inspire and push me to work and improve.
This video is extremely helpful. I always struggled with the opening hooks. That's why I usually write books in reverse (from the end to the beginning). Cheers
How to write good plot twists/reveals? How much information do you reveal, and maybe some tips on how to make something as unexpected or interesting as possible?
Hi there 🙂 There are a lot of you tube videos out there giving advice on how to get going on novel writing. Thanks for being the best of lot Ellen. Your presentation is clean and informative. But mostly it's concise!! No filth just effectively bringing the viewer the salient points and necessary insights. Thanks again 👍🙂
An excellent video that well prepared and presented. I believe my opening hook is a combination of #4 and #5. I plan on watching all of your videos. Great job.
Love all your videos! One request: more examples like your line from “The Invisible Man” from successful novel, to make your suggestions easier to understand. Like demonstrating a math formula with an actual problem.
Thank you, so much! This video gave me a brand new idea for the opening of my book! This will add a significant twist to the story and set a much better mood for the story!
@Maurits I wouldn't want to because it's not catchy And it doesn't tell me anything about the world they live in. And bc If you say "My Name is...btw" it Sounds like a diary
That helped. I'm about to write a novel actually and I know now how I'll start it: with the suicide scene. The catch is that my MC is immortal, quite literally. So it's not really a suicide. He just needs to "die" in order to live on with different personality. You wouldn't confuse a guy you met by chance with your former coworker who commited suicide even if their faces were pretty much the same, right? Much less if the guy is half the dead man's age. If he simply went missing, some people could be stubborn and look for him years later. Being immortal among regular humans can be tricky in modern society. Especially if being exposed as an immortal can have very nasty consequences.
It's a good hook idea, but I do warn you that I personally know several (and by inference there are probably many, many more) people who would drop a book starting with a suicide into a bonfire unless it's handled VERY carefully. Suicide impacts a lot of people in a lot of different ways (from people who have lost loved ones to suicide, to people who have witnessed suicide, to people who have unsuccessfully attempted it themselves, to people who have suicidal thoughts that scare the everloving fuck out of them) and therefore, like rape, it's VERY tricky to handle in a manner that's realistic and respectful. Good luck, but do tread carefully.
Those are great opening hooks! As the story goes on its important to leave cliff hangers at the end of each chapter. That way your reader won't feel satisfied, close the book, and leave it on the shelf to sit for months :P My story grabbed my friends so well that they begged me for more!
Mine starts with problem, question and situation. Wake up in a cellar, not knowing how he got there or where it is, feeling really bad and realizing he has changed. :) I hope it'll keep the reader hooked and wanting to know why he is in a cellar, how he got there, what happened to him and later, how to deal with it. :)
So I originally came to RUclips because I was hoping that someone would have posted something on this topic, and luck of all lucks, I found your page! Yay. So... I'm struggling with my own novel. I say "novel" very loosely because in all honesty, I've probably started dozens of stories over the years and they all trailed off due to work, loss of interest or whatever. Its like I get on a line and then SQUIRREL and suddenly I'm writing something else or I stop writing completely until months later when I can't sleep and I start writing something completely different. (I'm constantly getting my ideas out in Word.) What I'm working on now seems to have (in my opinion) dynamic characters that all have their own flaws, which I feel would be relatable to readers... the issue lies solely in the fact that I can't seem to figure out where my story is going, or even what genre I'm going for. Short of throwing a dart at a wall of genres and landing on "crime drama" or "sci-fi" or "mystery" and being forced to change the character dynamic to fit that genre, I want to know how you would steer your characters into a direction that doesn't seem forced and establish a reason to hold a readers interest. Honestly, I'm in the middle of fictional vomit right now, just pouring words on a page. Different segments of the same story but no hook as to why someone should be reading it. I don't want to just fall back on my usual "Supernatural" genre and make them all vampires or whatever. I'm lost. How do you base a story in reality and make it interesting?
When you say Invisible Man, the first book I think of is HG Wells’s book, and that wasn’t the first line, but there’s probably other books called that. I really like your channel so far! You’re informative, to-the-point, and have experience. Thank you for your hard work! ❤️
It's from "Invisible Man" a novel by Ralph Ellison about racism in the South. The main character isn't literally invisible but, being black, he might as well be. He's invisible because he's been so excluded and overlooked his entire life.
I love your content. As someone who has only recently decided to try writing, your information is invaluable! I will probably even inquire on your services (assuming I get that far lol).
Interesting. You have a good take on things and think the same as I do. I know this is an older video but I'm new here and looking for like minds. Think I found one.
Hey Ellen! Thank you for this great channel and your excellent advice! Little request here: could you do a video on how to write relationships between characters (both love interests, friendships, family...) in a way that feels not forced but genuine, satisfying in terms of characters arc's and psychologically coherent? I feel like it's sometimes a struggle though it's important for me to devellop strong and interesting relationships in my stories. Thank you!
Hi Ellen, it would mean very much to me if you could read the first three lines below to the book Im writing. Really curious what you think of it, and what questions it awakes in your mind: "As I raised my hand and stabbed him, my fathers screams and wide open eyes didn't affect me at all. It was obvious to me that he never expected his well taught son to cause him harm. He had taught me well." Does it make you want to continue reading? Thankful for your (and everyone elses answer), and please keep doing what you are doing, your videos are so great and inspiring! :)
Great insights, Ellen. Thanks. Have you considered doing any videos about writing memoirs or first-person narratives? What are specific tips for writing compelling first person stories?
Glad to see you back Ellen, its been awhile. Anyway, I hope to see lots more videos about writing and writing techniques cause there super helpful and lots of fun. By the way, this may sound strange but maybe you've got some tips on what to eat before writing (besides coffee and donuts) so that we can maintain energy and not put on too much weight. =]
I often have very detailed ideas for characters, but then don't know what obstacle or goal to give them to make a story interesting, apart from character development. The outside conflict is often missing.
It's actually "Invisible Man," by Ralph Ellison that begins with "I am an invisible man." "The Invisible Man," by H.G.Wells begins, "The stranger came early in February, one wintry day, through a biting wind and a driving snow, the last snowfall of the year, over the down, walking from Bramblehurst railway station, and carrying a little blackportmanteau in his thickly gloved hand."
Thank you for your help; I've read On Writing, Eudora Welty's pretty useless stuff, Jenna Bloom's really great advice; I intend studying everything you put out.
I feel like my opening is a bit generic, though it hits all the points of what the novel is pretty well. Standard medieval setting (with some added unique things) Main protag is an orphan. At around page 4-5 the story starts to divert and head down the interesting path, dunno if I should change this around or not. I really like how it starts and spirals off, but this might also push peopel away from it.
How about this? The match flared. It gave a slight rush of heat and warmth to Lux numb fingers. For a moment, she sat there, dazed and amazed. Being used to the coldness of the cage, it was rather shocking for Luxiana Kingsley. The wind suddenly blew, and the flame wavered, struggling and that was when Lux shivered and snapped out off her daze. Covering the small light with her other hand, she shielded the burning match from the cold, cruel wind. The flame caught. It burned the small weeds, leaving dark black trails as it passed by. But the fire was still weak. Lux blew it slowly until the flame bursted to life, flickering peacefully at the midst of the coarse teepee of wood; the broken twigs, weeds and sticks. Lux sighed, and sat on the van's passenger seat, covering herself with her old navy green cardigan. She glanced at her wrist watch; it was early in the morning, 3:14 a.m. and she haven't rested, not even a mere nap. Lux was a light sleeper and being an insomniac didn't help the matter either. To quote the Life 101: Sleep is for the weak. #Insomniacsrule. But she seriously needed to rest her weary body. Her arms ached for hunting earlier- it was a fine game, resulting two bunnies and a stag- her legs, quivering and shaking. Her whole body pleaded for mercy, for sleep. She sighed once more, and took out a vial of Sleeping Potion which she stole somewhere, and took a sip, gagging slightly at the taste. It was deadly bitter, like licking a tree bark. Don't ask how Lux knew that. But it was worth it; her eyelids became heavy, everything had became rather blurry. The potion is at work. Resting her head, she slept still sitting, mind still alert for any signs of movement. It was so.. weird, hearing no curses nor insults, no bloody tomatoes hurled at her as a nuisance. The trees seemed to dance, bursting with life. Birds chirped; an owl hooted above. It felt safe, silent, wild and free unlike the shuddering coldness of the cage. Lux breathed. So intent she had been on listening, she had forgotten to breathe. The fire flickered, giving Lux warmth like an invisible blanket. A nightingale sung a hum. After that, the world turned black and came silence.
Good opening but there are quite a few grammatical errors. Also, I think you need to figure out if this 3rd person narrative should be breaking the 4th wall or not. It's a bit jarring at the point that it does. But otherwise, good start.
"Patience was a virtue Tonya Wykowskya developed early in life. She developed patience among lines of citizens waiting for goods and services throughout the Soviet Union. In June 1966, on the collective farm called Derevna, the line consisted of two people waiting in the warm sunshine. Thankfully, as the sun climbed higher in the sky, the lengthening shadow from the awning protected them from the damaging rays." It may not be the most exciting hook, but this is a modern historical romance. A murder on the first page belongs in a detective story. This beginning expresses Tonya's character.
Hi Ellen...I would love to write a short story..right now I'm watching the 1999 film The Ninth Gate with Johnny Depp...Yes Ellen I would love to write something like Gustave Flaubert's Three Short Stories Something Like That.
This is mine: Sometimes the truth is the hardest to believe. If I told you I have been dead since I was born. That I have been on the run since I was five. Would you believe me? What if I said I haven't shared my first kiss, Or tried to take my life since I was thirteen? The truth is only relative to the person telling it.
I agree with the other comments. Your beginning sentences are the kind that I read that make me take the book off the shelf of the Library and buy it. I hope you're still writing. (I'd definitely read your book) God bless. :)
Your intro is kind of polarizing and schizophrenic, in that it breaks down into parts that I either love or hate. Here's my stab at editing out some stuff and giving steroids to just the parts I love. But regardless, thanks for sharing it and keep your story going~! ************** You know what the biggest lie is? It's that you should always tell the truth. Because sometimes, maybe even always, the truth is the hardest thing to believe. Would you believe I never shared my first kiss? Or the details of my suicide the year I turned thirteen? Would you believe I've been running ever since? Or would you think it's just more lies? If truth is only relative to the person telling it, then lies are like the truth to the person being told. That's why a lie is the easiest thing to tell: because the truth is the hardest thing to believe. I used to be like you. I used to believe the truth, too. ***************
Kaitlyn Watts said: if I told you I was dead since I was born! I love that line I can just imagine many things and going all sorts of directions with it. Wow! Great line.
HI Ellen, Thank you so much for all these videos and workshops. My question: When you have two situations happening at the very exact time, in two different locations... one with the protagonist and the other the antogonist... and one situation depends on the other to work... would you do two or three paragraphs and then skip to the other scenario and so on and so forth or would it be better to explain all of one and then jump to the other? Thanks a bunch! Anne-Marie
Hey Ellen I've been watching ur videos for some help on starting a book. But I'm struggling with making a hook for the first chapter. I'm new at writing so I'm practicing for when I start making books I'll really like ur advice.
Here is mine: She had finally done it. A she-cat with fur the colour of snow and fire fused together, with a blue eye like the sky when it was day, and another like the most intense flame. She had finally blamed her Clan for everything, everyone, and all her suffering. That was because it was their fault. EarthClan's fault that all the cats she loved were dead, and all she hated not punished in any way at all. There are so many things wrong with it, I know but whatever
finella døyle maybe a little late but whatever. I like it, I'd continue reading after this. Something in the middle around sentences 3 and 4 bug me though but I can't place it...
I have one chapter that sets a scene to show the MC in action; one that shows the magical abilities of the people on my world, and one that shows the interpersonal relationships to set up his inner core values. Which one to choose?
Ellen, I think I may have to start my story with a scene of mythical creatures fighting, even though for the rest of the it there aren't any more epic monster fights like that (its dominated by bronze age politics and humans fighting a war). The reason is, this fight really kick-starts the whole plot, with the main characters trying actively to make such a fight never happen again as it could destroy their civilization. What should I do?
Hey fellow writers! I had a question. Let's say I'm writing in first person and I want a sentence where my character is thinking a what if scenario. "If I could, I would wake up earlier." Is this right even if the story is first person?
What's the latest the hook can be? Does it have to be in the first paragraph or line? And are there recomendations for prologues? Are they really short chapters that don't need to be IMMEDIATELY related to the current/initial progress of the story?
she ye ye yit! Terry Pratchett might make it half way through his book before he hooks the reader (he's knighted by the queen of England for his services to literature) but everyone else needs to hook the reader in the first paragraph. Or, better yet, on the jacket. Good luck with delayed gratification!
Gerald Frost Thanks! So, I suppose prologues can be used to show a tension or interesting part of the setting that would be too far ahead following the story before starting the story itself, to have an early hook?
Hello from the uk ! i just want to ask how do you keep the people or person want to not put your book down and how can you make your books/book feel more realistic thank you brian
Great video! But, uh, the example about 'The Invisible Man'... my copy starts with "The stranger came early in February, one wintry day, through a biting wind and a driving snow, the last snowfall of the year, etc etc etc." Am I missing something here?
"Invisible Man" is a 1952 novel by Ralph Ellison "about an African American man whose color renders him invisible" (Wikipedia). "The Invisible Man" is the 1897 H.G. Wells novel you are thinking of. I believe she misspoke.
thanks Ellen this is great. can you please tell us if there's a preference about starting a novel with the protagonist rather than the antagonist and why? it seems the antagonist would have more action for the hook but I'm hearing otherwise. thanks!
"Just let me leave!" A jet of water shot through her hands at her mother. "I don't need your 'protecting' anymore!" "It's too dangerous out there!" Her mother cried. "You remember the last time you went out, don't you?" "Oh, I remember," Martha muttered with disdain. She remembered all too well. "Don't pretend, Mom," she said sadly. "I know what you really think of me."
could you do a video about editing. anything a "new" writer can find helpfull. i'ts the first time I finished my first draft and even though I did a lot of research, I would like to see your opinion about it.
Writing theories are conflicting. Michael Hauge's "6 Stage Plot Structure" says: Set up Hero's Identity". Cliff Pickover says: "Start novel with a bang..action, murder." It makes me dizzy reading and viewing all these Do's and Don'ts.
(a rather long suggestion from someone who isn't published yet, but hopes to be some day) It can be overwhelming, but remember that these are all just guidelines, not rules. You'll never be able to adhere to all of them and, if you try, you'll just be shooting yourself in the foot and artificially restraining yourself. Listen to a lot of advice, of course, because there's a lot to learn from it. But, at the end of the day, only take the advice that feels right and natural in the framework you're working within. If you're writing a contemporary, realistic, introspective coming-of-age novel, for instance, setting up the hero's starting identity makes much more sense than starting the novel "with a bang... action, murder" (since those aren't things that seem likely to exist in a modern American middle school). On the other hand, if you're writing some kind of action thriller, the "identity" of the hero may be less important than the events that hero is stuck coping with; in that case, start with a bang. Not only is every genre different, so is every work within that genre. Guidelines that work well for one may need to be completely thrown out the window for others. I've been reading books of writing advice for 20 years and really let myself get paralyzed by how much it's all conflicted. Now that I've given myself permission to say "that simply doesn't apply in this case", I find my writing is going a lot more smoothly most days. And, if it is all just too much for you, stop listening to writing advice, write from the heart, and worry about hammering it into something more consumer-friendly once you get to the editing stage. Everyone has a story to tell. Don't let others dictate what yours will be like. Good luck and good writing :)
It was a dark time. No one was safe, not even in their homes. The streets were filled with destruction and murder disguised as peacekeeping. But no one dared try to stop an Imperial Guard. You either turned a blind eye or were marked as a traitor. That was the hardest for Joshua to deal with. "I wish you were still here," he said as he knelt down by the ruins of his childhood home. "It's hard being on my own." He made a mound of dirt on the ground in front of him, then laid three things on top of it: a rock, a flower, and a handmade doll. "I wish I could change things," he said, bowing his head low. "Please, if you can hear me, help me know what to do. I'm afraid. You would've wanted me to do something. But how can I?" He couldn't stay here long. If someone saw, they'd know he tried to cheat death. He'd rather not be on the receiving end of the barrel of a gun. Or even worse, a torch.
Can you explain how to open your story, by first showing the ending, and later at the end getting back there. I'm working on a story about a timid middle aged banker who is pushed into becoming a bad ass vigilante after her daughter becomes entangled with a brutal gang. So I was thinking about opening with her holding a shotgun and drenched in blood, with an intense look and walking towards that only she can see. Then quickly go to her working at her bank months earlier. This is an attempt to show the contrast and have the reader itching to find out how she gets there. But, do I have to write 6 months earlier for the transition? How do you do that without having to clarify the time difference?
Does the circumstance need to be unique for the character or just for the novel? Would it be enough to introduce the reader to how the character copes with an interesting concept even though it applies to everyone in the world?
Love all your videos! My novel begins with my protagonist on her death bed. I know that opening a story with a character waking isn't a strong hook. Could this be an exception? Is there ever an exception?
I've read on a writer blog post somewhere that you may be able to open a story with the character waking up if they are waking up in a completely different way from how they normally do. Some examples: They could wake up to sirens wailing. They could wake up to find out that a friend/family member has died. They could be forced awake because they have to run away.
Hey Ellen! Could you do a video on the pros and cons of writing in first-person and third-person respectively in regards to how the reader experiences the story as well as how it is presented? Thanks!
I'm planning to do a video on this very soon! Thanks for watching!
Perhaps you could talk about second-person as well? Very rarely talked about (or used) perspective in my experience, that some people don't even understand when they come across a story written in it...
What about starting with gibberish?
Smiggle wiggle da da figgle!
The reader will be captured wondering why you're writing in a bizarre language. They'll turn page after page to find out, but they won't be able to read a thing. As a bonus, it's an easy way to write a mystery novel.
Dret Fosria This comment needs more likes
funniest comment ever
Ok you caught my eye, I'm waiting... ;-)
Fantastic idea! I'll try this one out myself in one of my upcoming works!
Know One lol go away
Ellen is a great example of someone who knows what they’re talking about and can confidently express it without the arrogance and abuse that indicates insecurity and random success. When she uses examples they illustrate the point and more importantly, the function of the device or structure. She doesn’t need camera mugging or an ostentatious list of hack titles, she has well thought content and experience. Very refreshing.
Double word score for using "ostentatious" in a youtube comment.
Ellen is a fount of useful knowledge!
Yes! She is phonomenal!
When Hiruho Tanaka woke up that day, she knew it was going to be big. She reformed and rehearsed her arguments countless times. She was confident that her persuasion would finally work out. That finally, after two hundred and seventy-four years, the gate of Vault 2112 would open.
----
This is the opening for my short four chapter story. It was originally written in czech and on about 4 pages for my high school finals last year, but I've decided to rewrite and extend it in English. We were given a basic, clichéd premise (earth overtaken by aliens, humans underground etc) but I think I'm doing a good job with it.
Personally, I really like your story opening. I have a few minor quibbles with the phraseology, but that's probably due to the translation. I'd like to read the whole thing. Good job!
My first thought is the antecedent of "it" in the first sentence -- _what_ will be big?
I wish I could read your story (novella?). It sounds interesting. I guess that means your "hook" and the "blerb" (the second paragraph, introducing the story), combined, are successful.
How to make a non-boring middle?? It's something I really struggle with.
Your story is too long. Shorten your story by deleting the middle. Wait a few days. Read the shortened version again, and it will be obvious to you what is missing between the front and the back of your story, and you will know what to add back into the middle, if anything at all. It's a variation on, "you don't know what you have until it's gone."
Add three obstacles to your main character's path to the ending. Each obstacle should be more difficult and put the MC in a worse situation that they barely overcome. The last obstacle should very nearly end the MC's pathway/life all together. From this last obstacle the MC should be second guessing the way forward. Give them a brief respite/recovery then plunge on into the ending as the
MC'S resolve is distilled and the necessity of persevering to the end is given a cost/benefit that compels them to go for it.
plot twist, character death, or action sequence.
If the middle is boring, the author must have be side tracked.
My most recent novel was originally thought to be worth 50,00 words--barely enough to be classed as a novel.
When I got done writing it, it was almost 100,000 words.
But each paragraph moved the story along, about two ordinary guys who become domestic terrorists.
My novel has 24 chapters. Each tells its own smaller story, which adds to the main one.
So, in effect there is no middle.
Don't write anything that doesn't move the story forward.
You need to plan a little more before you star to write. That used to happen to me.
hooking readers
variable depending on setting - plot - genre (representative for your novel)
1- interesting setting (unusual elements)
2- interesting circumstance of the chch (invisible man)
3- raise question in the reader (why is she poising the soap)
4- conflict regarding desire or goal
5- conflict demonstrating the chch problem
I have watched many many videos on craft, and most are just words with no practical application. I learned more in the last hour of watching your videos than I did over the last year.
Here's another tip.
They say, "find your voice!"
But what they don't know, that they really mean, "develop voices".
Style. It's about the voiceS you've developed and the dynamics between them, not a bout A voice.
Beastmode marmaduke. You either get it or learning
This video just gave the idea for my opening sentence. Thanks!
That's awesome! Thank you so much for your support!
"The city was in flames." - first line of The Blood of Elves in the Witcher series.
Last thing. You're a believable editor. I'm sure you're good at it. It's in the eyes.
I just noticed how blue her eyes are
Mr and Mrs Dursley of Number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.
I'll leave to figure out where it comes from
Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sourcer's stone? XD I'm not sure?.. ;-;
Ellen seems the most masterful with the craft of storytelling and writing out of all writers on RUclips.
I literally redid my opening scene/hook right after watching this video. Good Golly, what a difference a few tips can make.
I admit I started watching your videos years ago because you're adorable, and I am so glad because your videos are just the best. Direct and to the point, complete, and clear. But most of all you are able to convey the rules of convention in a way that doesn't make this anti-conformist off. You have a great way of explaining the "rules" as if they are Tools rather than being requirements. You have changed my opinion on all the things I was resistant to. Thanks for that. You inspire and push me to work and improve.
This video is extremely helpful. I always struggled with the opening hooks.
That's why I usually write books in reverse (from the end to the beginning).
Cheers
How to write good plot twists/reveals? How much information do you reveal, and maybe some tips on how to make something as unexpected or interesting as possible?
I love how you get straight to the point, and no extra stuff xx
Awesome topic.
If I may suggest a topic, writing with "good flow".
"I awoke to discover that the entire city had been covered in a layer of man-eating jam."
I’m interested.....
Please expand on this, I need to know more!
Strawberry flavored?
I love that book. It’s called “Jam” and it’s by Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw
@@MettleMadness Ah, thank you!
Hi Ellen. Because of this video, I am going to re-write the prologue of my middle grade novel.
Hi there 🙂
There are a lot of you tube videos out there giving advice on how to get going on novel writing. Thanks for being the best of lot Ellen. Your presentation is clean and informative. But mostly it's concise!!
No filth just effectively bringing the viewer the salient points and necessary insights.
Thanks again 👍🙂
thank you so much this helped me so much
Thank you so much for this! I just love your videos. You are very articulate and I like your honesty in the Q&As. Cannot wait for more!
Yes...
...and pretty, too!
An excellent video that well prepared and presented. I believe my opening hook is a combination of #4 and #5. I plan on watching all of your videos. Great job.
I don't know how I found this channel but I'm so glad I did. Such great, practical tips. Thanks!
Love all your videos! One request: more examples like your line from “The Invisible Man” from successful novel, to make your suggestions easier to understand. Like demonstrating a math formula with an actual problem.
The first scene in my book is a battle against Edward II. I hope it works! (and also sorry If my English is bad, i'm still learning)
Starting with a question: "Where's Papa going with that axe?"
Even with the little cut on your lip that consumed my attention more than I wanted, this was a great video. Very informative!
Thank you, so much! This video gave me a brand new idea for the opening of my book! This will add a significant twist to the story and set a much better mood for the story!
Oh Oh, I know, start the story with them waking up in a bed
But their tied up and the bed is hanging on the side of a building so the person is being crucified on the bed
@@joshuagalvez9678 would like to read it
Yikes
@Maurits Amen, brother
@Maurits I wouldn't want to because it's not catchy And it doesn't tell me anything about the world they live in.
And bc If you say "My Name is...btw" it Sounds like a diary
That helped.
I'm about to write a novel actually and I know now how I'll start it: with the suicide scene.
The catch is that my MC is immortal, quite literally. So it's not really a suicide. He just needs to "die" in order to live on with different personality.
You wouldn't confuse a guy you met by chance with your former coworker who commited suicide even if their faces were pretty much the same, right? Much less if the guy is half the dead man's age.
If he simply went missing, some people could be stubborn and look for him years later.
Being immortal among regular humans can be tricky in modern society. Especially if being exposed as an immortal can have very nasty consequences.
It's a good hook idea, but I do warn you that I personally know several (and by inference there are probably many, many more) people who would drop a book starting with a suicide into a bonfire unless it's handled VERY carefully. Suicide impacts a lot of people in a lot of different ways (from people who have lost loved ones to suicide, to people who have witnessed suicide, to people who have unsuccessfully attempted it themselves, to people who have suicidal thoughts that scare the everloving fuck out of them) and therefore, like rape, it's VERY tricky to handle in a manner that's realistic and respectful. Good luck, but do tread carefully.
Those are great opening hooks! As the story goes on its important to leave cliff hangers at the end of each chapter. That way your reader won't feel satisfied, close the book, and leave it on the shelf to sit for months :P My story grabbed my friends so well that they begged me for more!
Yes, I think it's like comedy: "Keep them wanting more."
That includes at the end.
Thank, Ellen, and please continue your success in releasing these insightful vids💥
You are very helpful.
Thanks alot. I like you remain general in this video but give excellent examples. :) Great video.
Mine starts with problem, question and situation. Wake up in a cellar, not knowing how he got there or where it is, feeling really bad and realizing he has changed. :) I hope it'll keep the reader hooked and wanting to know why he is in a cellar, how he got there, what happened to him and later, how to deal with it. :)
The plan I already had for my opening scene fit nicely into a couple of these tips. That gives me hope that I'm on the right track. :)
Useful and refreshing
I am so glad I found your channel! Your videos are helping me so much! I wish you were my editor or writing coach 😊
Bait!! Then a steady flowing current! Watch out for the bends
Your videos are very helpful. Thank you.
Thanks Ellen.
"As the sun graced the city of Belka, the watchers of the night shed their masks."
Dunno if it's going to hook people to my story.
While the sun welcomed the city of Belka with grace, watchers watching upon the night that shed on their masks.
I'm Hooked.
Interesting
So I originally came to RUclips because I was hoping that someone would have posted something on this topic, and luck of all lucks, I found your page! Yay.
So... I'm struggling with my own novel. I say "novel" very loosely because in all honesty, I've probably started dozens of stories over the years and they all trailed off due to work, loss of interest or whatever. Its like I get on a line and then SQUIRREL and suddenly I'm writing something else or I stop writing completely until months later when I can't sleep and I start writing something completely different. (I'm constantly getting my ideas out in Word.)
What I'm working on now seems to have (in my opinion) dynamic characters that all have their own flaws, which I feel would be relatable to readers... the issue lies solely in the fact that I can't seem to figure out where my story is going, or even what genre I'm going for. Short of throwing a dart at a wall of genres and landing on "crime drama" or "sci-fi" or "mystery" and being forced to change the character dynamic to fit that genre, I want to know how you would steer your characters into a direction that doesn't seem forced and establish a reason to hold a readers interest. Honestly, I'm in the middle of fictional vomit right now, just pouring words on a page. Different segments of the same story but no hook as to why someone should be reading it. I don't want to just fall back on my usual "Supernatural" genre and make them all vampires or whatever. I'm lost.
How do you base a story in reality and make it interesting?
When you say Invisible Man, the first book I think of is HG Wells’s book, and that wasn’t the first line, but there’s probably other books called that.
I really like your channel so far! You’re informative, to-the-point, and have experience. Thank you for your hard work! ❤️
It's from "Invisible Man" a novel by Ralph Ellison about racism in the South. The main character isn't literally invisible but, being black, he might as well be. He's invisible because he's been so excluded and overlooked his entire life.
Kat K thank you :)
You're very welcome :)
Pelase do a book saga stuff to take in consideration when making a book saga please
I love your content. As someone who has only recently decided to try writing, your information is invaluable! I will probably even inquire on your services (assuming I get that far lol).
Interesting. You have a good take on things and think the same as I do. I know this is an older video but I'm new here and looking for like minds. Think I found one.
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison? This is weird because I am reading that now.
Okay this makes sense, I was thinking the HG Wells novel with almost the same title and wondering why I recalled it opening very differently.
Hey Ellen! Thank you for this great channel and your excellent advice! Little request here: could you do a video on how to write relationships between characters (both love interests, friendships, family...) in a way that feels not forced but genuine, satisfying in terms of characters arc's and psychologically coherent? I feel like it's sometimes a struggle though it's important for me to devellop strong and interesting relationships in my stories. Thank you!
Hi Ellen, it would mean very much to me if you could read the first three lines below to the book Im writing. Really curious what you think of it, and what questions it awakes in your mind:
"As I raised my hand and stabbed him, my fathers screams and wide open eyes didn't affect me at all. It was obvious to me that he never expected his well taught son to cause him harm. He had taught me well."
Does it make you want to continue reading?
Thankful for your (and everyone elses answer), and please keep doing what you are doing, your videos are so great and inspiring! :)
Rickard Samuelsson in my opinion, that line is very catchy and a great first line. It really makes the reader to continue on. Do keep writing
Somi Panday
I would think “As a reader, would I be begging for more?”
For this, I say that fits my criteria for begging for more.
how to write a great prologue and why some stories need them
Great video--thanks for the tips!
Nice job! Helpful video!
Great insights, Ellen. Thanks. Have you considered doing any videos about writing memoirs or first-person narratives? What are specific tips for writing compelling first person stories?
Thanks for the spoiler about the invisible man! Now I already know there's an invisible man.
Thank you
finally some really good advice!
Glad to see you back Ellen, its been awhile. Anyway, I hope to see lots more videos about writing and writing techniques cause there super helpful and lots of fun. By the way, this may sound strange but maybe you've got some tips on what to eat before writing (besides coffee and donuts) so that we can maintain energy and not put on too much weight. =]
great advice
Loving these frequent videos. Great content as always Ellen. Any chance you can do a video on an effective beta reading process?
Thank you so much I think I skipped the day we learned how to write hooks back in highschool cause im clueless on them
I often have very detailed ideas for characters, but then don't know what obstacle or goal to give them to make a story interesting, apart from character development. The outside conflict is often missing.
another good one thanks for help
It's actually "Invisible Man," by Ralph Ellison that begins with "I am an invisible man." "The Invisible Man," by H.G.Wells begins, "The stranger came early in February, one wintry day, through a biting wind and a driving snow, the last snowfall of the year, over the down, walking from Bramblehurst railway station, and carrying a little blackportmanteau in his thickly gloved hand."
Thank you for your help; I've read On Writing, Eudora Welty's pretty useless stuff, Jenna Bloom's really great advice; I intend studying everything you put out.
Great video! Might i suggest adding your name in the title. It will help with SEO.
I feel like my opening is a bit generic, though it hits all the points of what the novel is pretty well.
Standard medieval setting (with some added unique things)
Main protag is an orphan.
At around page 4-5 the story starts to divert and head down the interesting path, dunno if I should change this around or not. I really like how it starts and spirals off, but this might also push peopel away from it.
From what I read, keep your story in the same direction, or keep it around the same storyline- otherwise you'll lose readers.
How about this?
The match flared.
It gave a slight rush of heat and warmth to Lux numb fingers. For a moment, she sat there, dazed and amazed. Being used to the coldness of the cage, it was rather shocking for Luxiana Kingsley.
The wind suddenly blew, and the flame wavered, struggling and that was when Lux shivered and snapped out off her daze. Covering the small light with her other hand, she shielded the burning match from the cold, cruel wind. The flame caught. It burned the small weeds, leaving dark black trails as it passed by. But the fire was still weak. Lux blew it slowly until the flame bursted to life, flickering peacefully at the midst of the coarse teepee of wood; the broken twigs, weeds and sticks. Lux sighed, and sat on the van's passenger seat, covering herself with her old navy green cardigan.
She glanced at her wrist watch; it was early in the morning, 3:14 a.m. and she haven't rested, not even a mere nap. Lux was a light sleeper and being an insomniac didn't help the matter either. To quote the Life 101: Sleep is for the weak. #Insomniacsrule.
But she seriously needed to rest her weary body. Her arms ached for hunting earlier- it was a fine game, resulting two bunnies and a stag- her legs, quivering and shaking. Her whole body pleaded for mercy, for sleep. She sighed once more, and took out a vial of Sleeping Potion which she stole somewhere, and took a sip, gagging slightly at the taste.
It was deadly bitter, like licking a tree bark. Don't ask how Lux knew that.
But it was worth it; her eyelids became heavy, everything had became rather blurry. The potion is at work. Resting her head, she slept still sitting, mind still alert for any signs of movement. It was so.. weird, hearing no curses nor insults, no bloody tomatoes hurled at her as a nuisance.
The trees seemed to dance, bursting with life. Birds chirped; an owl hooted above. It felt safe, silent, wild and free unlike the shuddering coldness of the cage. Lux breathed. So intent she had been on listening, she had forgotten to breathe. The fire flickered, giving Lux warmth like an invisible blanket.
A nightingale sung a hum.
After that, the world turned black and came silence.
Where is the book for this? - One reader hooked.
Good opening but there are quite a few grammatical errors. Also, I think you need to figure out if this 3rd person narrative should be breaking the 4th wall or not. It's a bit jarring at the point that it does. But otherwise, good start.
"Patience was a virtue Tonya Wykowskya developed early in life. She developed patience among lines of citizens waiting for goods and services throughout the Soviet Union. In June 1966, on the collective farm called Derevna, the line consisted of two people waiting in the warm sunshine. Thankfully, as the sun climbed higher in the sky, the lengthening shadow from the awning protected them from the damaging rays."
It may not be the most exciting hook, but this is a modern historical romance. A murder on the first page belongs in a detective story. This beginning expresses Tonya's character.
Hi Ellen...I would love to write a short story..right now I'm watching the 1999 film The Ninth Gate with Johnny Depp...Yes Ellen I would love to write something like Gustave Flaubert's Three Short Stories Something Like That.
So far my setting is really good, as my readers said but I need to introduce my characters in the scene, do you have any suggestion?
This is mine:
Sometimes the truth is the hardest to believe.
If I told you I have been dead since I was born.
That I have been on the run since I was five.
Would you believe me?
What if I said I haven't shared my first kiss,
Or tried to take my life since I was thirteen?
The truth is only relative to the person telling it.
I agree with the other comments. Your beginning sentences are the kind that I read that make me take the book off the shelf of the Library and buy it. I hope you're still writing. (I'd definitely read your book) God bless. :)
Your intro is kind of polarizing and schizophrenic, in that it breaks down into parts that I either love or hate. Here's my stab at editing out some stuff and giving steroids to just the parts I love. But regardless, thanks for sharing it and keep your story going~!
**************
You know what the biggest lie is? It's that you should always tell the truth. Because sometimes, maybe even always, the truth is the hardest thing to believe.
Would you believe I never shared my first kiss? Or the details of my suicide the year I turned thirteen? Would you believe I've been running ever since? Or would you think it's just more lies? If truth is only relative to the person telling it, then lies are like the truth to the person being told.
That's why a lie is the easiest thing to tell: because the truth is the hardest thing to believe. I used to be like you. I used to believe the truth, too.
***************
I feel like the first sentence isn't 100% needed.
Kaitlyn Watts said: if I told you I was dead since I was born! I love that line I can just imagine many things and going all sorts of directions with it. Wow! Great line.
That sure is strange.
can you talk about how to write a strong plot? Thank you
HI Ellen, Thank you so much for all these videos and workshops.
My question: When you have two situations happening at the very exact
time, in two different locations... one with the protagonist and the
other the antogonist... and one situation depends on the other to
work... would you do two or three paragraphs and then skip to the other
scenario and so on and so forth or would it be better to explain all of
one and then jump to the other? Thanks a bunch! Anne-Marie
Did you find a solution?
Hey Ellen! A lot of help you are! lol. Seriously.
That's the hook. Naw meen? Probably not. Maybe? There it is... ;)
Hey Ellen I've been watching ur videos for some help on starting a book. But I'm struggling with making a hook for the first chapter. I'm new at writing so I'm practicing for when I start making books I'll really like ur advice.
I like it!
Here is mine:
She had finally done it. A she-cat with fur the colour of snow and fire fused together, with a blue eye like the sky when it was day, and another like the most intense flame. She had finally blamed her Clan for everything, everyone, and all her suffering. That was because it was their fault. EarthClan's fault that all the cats she loved were dead, and all she hated not punished in any way at all.
There are so many things wrong with it, I know but whatever
finella døyle maybe a little late but whatever. I like it, I'd continue reading after this. Something in the middle around sentences 3 and 4 bug me though but I can't place it...
I have one chapter that sets a scene to show the MC in action; one that shows the magical abilities of the people on my world, and one that shows the interpersonal relationships to set up his inner core values. Which one to choose?
Ellen, I think I may have to start my story with a scene of mythical creatures fighting, even though for the rest of the it there aren't any more epic monster fights like that (its dominated by bronze age politics and humans fighting a war). The reason is, this fight really kick-starts the whole plot, with the main characters trying actively to make such a fight never happen again as it could destroy their civilization. What should I do?
Hey fellow writers! I had a question. Let's say I'm writing in first person and I want a sentence where my character is thinking a what if scenario.
"If I could, I would wake up earlier."
Is this right even if the story is first person?
Yes, but I’m confused on which part you’re asking about
What's the latest the hook can be? Does it have to be in the first paragraph or line?
And are there recomendations for prologues? Are they really short chapters that don't need to be IMMEDIATELY related to the current/initial progress of the story?
she ye ye yit! Terry Pratchett might make it half way through his book before he hooks the reader (he's knighted by the queen of England for his services to literature) but everyone else needs to hook the reader in the first paragraph. Or, better yet, on the jacket. Good luck with delayed gratification!
Gerald Frost Thanks! So, I suppose prologues can be used to show a tension or interesting part of the setting that would be too far ahead following the story before starting the story itself, to have an early hook?
For myself, I ask the question: "How far would I read without motivation to go further?"
In my case, it's maybe a page or two.
Hello from the uk ! i just want to ask how do you keep the people or person want to not put your book down and how can you make your books/book feel more realistic thank you brian
Good content
Great video! But, uh, the example about 'The Invisible Man'... my copy starts with "The stranger came early in February, one wintry day, through a biting wind and a driving snow, the last snowfall of the year, etc etc etc."
Am I missing something here?
"Invisible Man" is a 1952 novel by Ralph Ellison "about an African American man whose color renders him invisible" (Wikipedia). "The Invisible Man" is the 1897 H.G. Wells novel you are thinking of. I believe she misspoke.
thanks Ellen this is great. can you please tell us if there's a preference about starting a novel with the protagonist rather than the antagonist and why? it seems the antagonist would have more action for the hook but I'm hearing otherwise. thanks!
What do you think about the hook of "100 years of solitude" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez?
"Just let me leave!" A jet of water shot through her hands at her mother. "I don't need your 'protecting' anymore!"
"It's too dangerous out there!" Her mother cried. "You remember the last time you went out, don't you?"
"Oh, I remember," Martha muttered with disdain. She remembered all too well. "Don't pretend, Mom," she said sadly. "I know what you really think of me."
could you do a video about editing. anything a "new" writer can find helpfull.
i'ts the first time I finished my first draft and even though I did a lot of research, I would like to see your opinion about it.
"it real Water!!""Water in the Desert?' Dam it!"
Writing theories are conflicting. Michael Hauge's "6 Stage Plot Structure" says: Set up Hero's Identity". Cliff Pickover says: "Start novel with a bang..action, murder." It makes me dizzy reading and viewing all these Do's and Don'ts.
(a rather long suggestion from someone who isn't published yet, but hopes to be some day) It can be overwhelming, but remember that these are all just guidelines, not rules. You'll never be able to adhere to all of them and, if you try, you'll just be shooting yourself in the foot and artificially restraining yourself. Listen to a lot of advice, of course, because there's a lot to learn from it. But, at the end of the day, only take the advice that feels right and natural in the framework you're working within.
If you're writing a contemporary, realistic, introspective coming-of-age novel, for instance, setting up the hero's starting identity makes much more sense than starting the novel "with a bang... action, murder" (since those aren't things that seem likely to exist in a modern American middle school). On the other hand, if you're writing some kind of action thriller, the "identity" of the hero may be less important than the events that hero is stuck coping with; in that case, start with a bang.
Not only is every genre different, so is every work within that genre. Guidelines that work well for one may need to be completely thrown out the window for others. I've been reading books of writing advice for 20 years and really let myself get paralyzed by how much it's all conflicted. Now that I've given myself permission to say "that simply doesn't apply in this case", I find my writing is going a lot more smoothly most days. And, if it is all just too much for you, stop listening to writing advice, write from the heart, and worry about hammering it into something more consumer-friendly once you get to the editing stage. Everyone has a story to tell. Don't let others dictate what yours will be like. Good luck and good writing :)
It was a dark time. No one was safe, not even in their homes. The streets were filled with destruction and murder disguised as peacekeeping. But no one dared try to stop an Imperial Guard. You either turned a blind eye or were marked as a traitor. That was the hardest for Joshua to deal with. "I wish you were still here," he said as he knelt down by the ruins of his childhood home. "It's hard being on my own." He made a mound of dirt on the ground in front of him, then laid three things on top of it: a rock, a flower, and a handmade doll. "I wish I could change things," he said, bowing his head low. "Please, if you can hear me, help me know what to do. I'm afraid. You would've wanted me to do something. But how can I?" He couldn't stay here long. If someone saw, they'd know he tried to cheat death. He'd rather not be on the receiving end of the barrel of a gun. Or even worse, a torch.
Can you explain how to open your story, by first showing the ending, and later at the end getting back there. I'm working on a story about a timid middle aged banker who is pushed into becoming a bad ass vigilante after her daughter becomes entangled with a brutal gang. So I was thinking about opening with her holding a shotgun and drenched in blood, with an intense look and walking towards that only she can see. Then quickly go to her working at her bank months earlier. This is an attempt to show the contrast and have the reader itching to find out how she gets there. But, do I have to write 6 months earlier for the transition? How do you do that without having to clarify the time difference?
Does the circumstance need to be unique for the character or just for the novel? Would it be enough to introduce the reader to how the character copes with an interesting concept even though it applies to everyone in the world?
Love all your videos! My novel begins with my protagonist on her death bed. I know that opening a story with a character waking isn't a strong hook. Could this be an exception? Is there ever an exception?
I've read on a writer blog post somewhere that you may be able to open a story with the character waking up if they are waking up in a completely different way from how they normally do. Some examples: They could wake up to sirens wailing. They could wake up to find out that a friend/family member has died. They could be forced awake because they have to run away.
I think waking up in a deathbed is a pretty strong hook lol, that’s unique
This video is a 10.
Noises like that would have woken any ordinary person but not Mr and Mrs Draper of Appleyards Lane. - Mary Draper Dreams of Castles in the Sky