Can’t believe that men’s mental health is discouraged to talk about. Seen guys be laughed at and made fun of online because they talked about their problems. I hope there’s a day where guys can be vulnerable without having to be scared
Its treated like a hush hush topic. In school for me they say "dont name names but look at who you belive is facing depression" and i always get lookrd at by everyone. Then when you try to talk to people about your weak it fake or it doesnt matter
"There is nothing manly about suffering in silence". Profound! Braving your own internal struggles is one of the hardest and most masculine qualities I can imagine.
Thanks Jeremy. Agreed. Working through our internal pain is incredibly challenging, and yet it is also beautiful and rewarding. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts!
Men are seen as weak, especially by women, so very rarely do they let their guard down. Allan's fantasy world and the reality for most men are polar opposites. Men are seen as disposable to society, when they are hurt, injured, or permanently disabled they are dismissed, mocked, and treated as less than. This has been my experience. I was poisoned by an FDA approved drug in the military, the VA won't help and because my symptoms are not visible, few people take me seriously and the government refuses to help. Your sentiment, while noble, is not what men face.
"I'd rather die than ask for help". This sentence makes absolutely no sense to people use logic to explain it. There is no logic. If you haven't experienced this kind of pain, you simply don't know. Very powerful video, thank you
I love the continuing conversations surrounding mental health , especially as it concerns men. I lost my husband to suicide 6 years ago , I wish I was as educated then as I am now. I will also continue to try to raise my voice for the sake of our sons! Thank you for all that you do!
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your husband to suicide. Thank you for raising your voice and teaching your children the value of being vulnerable and reaching out for help. They have a great mom.
The take home message for me, "Surround yourself with people who speak the same language'. Those who have had the same experiences are your best friends.
You are a great man Tyson and a constant advocate for men and mental health. Your story continues to inspire me, and has helped countless men. I appreciate you!
This man has helped me to raise my voice, and to continue to break down the walls around mental health issues. I consider myself extremely lucky to not only have met Al, but to call him a mentor and a friend... truly one of the most heartfelt and inspirational TED talks I've had the chance to watch.
Aw. I sure appreciate you Brad. You have enriched not only my life, but the lives of so many others. Your story and the way you choose to navigate through life is a constant source of inspiration. Much respect!
I wanted to say thank you Allan for this message. I feel more motivated than ever to talk about my mental health and get help. There's something that saddens me to the highest degree. The world waited the suicides of millions of men to finally aknowledge their struggles. It makes me sooo sad...
Grateful to hear that you are motivated to speak openly about mental health. Love it! There's nothing more powerful than your story, and it will no doubt impact many individuals.
Hey guys, I have been struggling with my mental illness my entire Life... I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD Depression and Anxiety. I took a step back from working so I get can get better and work on my self to be more competent when I get back to work. Now i got a call today from my Immobilien agency that i have to get out of my Apartment in 1 week even though we agreed that i can stay. But now she told me I have to leave because I am unemployed... But I told her the reason for its because of my mental health and I have do have the money for the rent because or my savings ... She laughed and said "its not my problem" i started crying because I dont want to be homeless right now when everything is going up hill with my mental health. It seems she was enjoying my pain on the phone and was playing games with me and being passive aggressive. I dont know what to anymore... I cant be homeless its my down fall and i tried to get help but nobody will take me seriously. I guess i have to just punch through being homeless for a while until i get my new job. Thanks for reading my friend and greetings from Germany!
What stands out for me is that fact that while you have been struggling with mental illness your entire life, you have always chosen to fight. While it appears life has thrown you more curve balls, I have no doubt that you will rise once again just like you always have. Keep fighting. You got this!
Thankfully, many men are joining this conversation to make sure that the next generation of men doesn't have to fight so hard. We are definitely stronger together.
Thank you! We have a man's group started and I can say this has made such an amazing impact in their lives....and that means in the women who loves them as well
Agreed. That first step of reaching out and putting a voice to your pain is often the most difficult. However, like anything else, it gets easier over time. Keep talking!
It takes so much courage and bravery to be vulnerable and open with your emotions and when men are capable of doing that it is incredibly attractive. I wish more men understood this.
This is why it's so important to encourage open and honest communication with all the men in your life, regardless of age. Let them know you can be the confidant they need.
There is so much strength in vulnerability though, and the sense of connection and joy that comes with opening up to a person and being heard by them is truly wonderful.
This is such an important message - for all men and boys (and, really, for all of us!). Thank you, Alan, for your vulnerability - and for your hope! Together we will rise! The time is now!
I feel so sorry for those who have had the kinds of experiences that leave them with such little trust in the humans around them that they could never open up and explore their feelings or even who they truly are.
This is such an important message to bring to men. Talking is so very important. I wish my brother was here to listen to what you are saying. You are absolutely right when you say the time to talk is now!!
If we saw someone with their head on a table crying in despair we would offer a shoulder to cry on, no matter what.. Simple human kindness towards another is so needed right now
I love your perspective, and the fact that you would take the time to offer that support to someone. Our world could always benefit from more kindness.
Yes absolutely take every opportunity to let someone know you can be their safe space. They might not take you up on it right away but when they're ready, they will.
I love saying "I see you" to people I work with when they've done something really cool but I've never thought about saying it to someone whose not having the best time. I think I will from now on.
I think the divide between men and women has really ramped up over the last decade or so too... Both sides acting like they have it worse than the other without ever acknowledging the difficulties the other has and it's just causes so much animosity that neither want to support the other anymore.
I struggle with my mental health. Everyday is a battle. When Allan said “i never wanted to be fixed, I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be heard” I felt that heavily. Being alone with no one to understand me is the worst feeling
I appreciate and respect the fact that you keep fighting. You are definitely not alone, and I hope you can continue to reach out in times of need. You take real good care!
Attitudes to mental health are changing for the better and the stigma around depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder is not what it was five or ten years ago.
While there is still much work to be done, I couldn't agree with you more. We are definitely moving in the right direction, and more people are starting to share their own experiences. When we can hear our story through the stories of others, we no longer feel alone.
I had never told anyone about my mental state and about my depression. I was watching these videos yesterday to gain motivation to keep going. And I can’t explain it other than a sign from god because today out of the blue my friend texted me that he had noticed I wasn’t myself lately. He did a checkup which no one ever had before. Thank you for your video you saved my life.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share this powerful experience. I hope that from this point forward you can give yourself permission to use your voice in times of need, and that you can embrace the fact that vulnerability equals strength. I am so grateful that you were able to make it through this challenging time. Keep talking.
There are a lot of factors to mental health and a lot of the behaviors we're taught as men, and as boys growing up is just so counter productive in terms of achieving a stable mindset. When you're conditioned to tuck your feelings deep down it can be very confronting when they bubble over - a lot of the time this is expressed as anger because apparently that's the only one men are allowed to have. Wild. Nice to see men like Allan out here working to change that.
Wow. I am SO glad I watched this. A few weeks ago Joe Roberts introduced me to Allan... And I am SO glad he did. Allan and I then had a Zoom call and became quick friends. Allan, this is well done, my friend. I can't wait for our next conversation! 🙏
@@allankehler you're very welcome. There's strength in numbers. The more support there is around this very important topic, the more we can help those that struggle realize it's ok to get help. Sorry for the delayed response.
I'm curious to know more about Allans approach to smashing the barriers that prevent men from reaching out for help. How can we as a society encourage men to seek support and break free from harmful stereotypes?
I was unaware of you visiting Moose Jaw. I hope to be able to be audience to one of your speaking engagements. Powerful, profound and heart opening. Thank you for your vulnerability. You are seen…heard.
Interesting point. In many ways, having a viewer discretion speaks to the fact that barriers remain that prevent us from speaking openly about these prevalent issues. I am committed to knocking down these walls brick by brick.
@@allankehler4098 keep doing what you're doing Allan we need Men like yourself to speak up about touchy subjects like men's mental health and whole well - being.
Thanks for sharing what you went through and being vulnerable and doing that in front of a huge audience and also for all of us to listen on RUclips. I appreciate you man
A powerful and important message, and one that I needed to hear. I feel so much more empowered to talk about my mental health after listening to Allan and hearing him share his story.
Thank you for sharing. I would be curious to know if you are at a place today where you are comfortable expressing your feelings, or if you continue to battle what society often deems to be acceptable.
The fact that this video only received 51k views and 124 comments tells you all you need to know about how much women and society really care about men.
it is the job of the INDIVIDUAL to do the WORK. Yes, conditioning has done a fine job of creating the idea that men shouldn't talk about feelings or show weakness - but we have known that is BS for a long time. There is therapy available, there are support groups - we can't point fingers, WE HAVE TO DO THE WORK. It starts by asking for help, instead of blaming people.
Men of my father's generation were brought up to be stoic and never show emotion. I wonder if that's why many were alcoholics and abused their wives or children?
Interesting point! Emotions are energy and we can only suppress so much before there has to be a release. For men, that release is often anger. Thankfully, we are teaching kids the importance of feeling, and giving them strategies to manage their emotions.
Well done Allan!! I love your books and work!! Thank you for your bravery!! You are making a difference in this crazy world. Thanks for all you and your wife do!!
Thank you so much Terrie. I really appreciate you mentioning my wife because none of the work I do is possible without her. Thanks for always cheering us on!!
Important talk Allan, well done for getting it out there, many many men in particular need to hear more of this, thanks for taking the lead, we appreciate you
Men's reluctance to discuss their feelings is rooted in societal expectations... Creating a safe space for them to open up and let them know they're allowed to talk about what's going on emotionally would be a really great first step towards changing that expectation
True. There never is a guarantee. However, I have often seen that when one man is willing to be vulnerable, it creates the space for others to be vulnerable as well. Take real good care!
I have been facing many struggles related to depression and I know for a fact that many of you faced similar problems, THIS IS WHY I started a mental health newsletter for men where I bring studies, past experiences, how did I solve my problems ,etc.
Thanks Doug. I appreciate your ongoing vulnerability with your own mental health challenges, and your willingness to strengthen the conversation around men and mental health.
Fantastic talk, Allan. I'm glad we're moving towards a world where men feel they can be open with their emotions, although there's still a long way to go, it gives me hope.
So much of this comes down to the way men are socialized and what they're taught as they grow up and I really hope that as the men from this generation start having children they will start raising them differently.
This. So many people want to push the narrative that being a man is 'easy' because of their privilege but what is easy about being taught that their feelings are wrong and make them less than manly? What is easy about feeling like you can never truly share your emotions and thoughts with your peers? Of feeling you don't have a support network that you can be vulnerable with for fear of being called a weak? There's nothing easy about that.
It's unfortunate that many continue to believe that reaching out for help is a sign of weakness. In reality, if anyone has ever given themselves permission to reach out out for help and be vulnerable, they know that it requires absolute strength. Slowly, people are understanding that vulnerability equals strength. Slowly, men are understanding that there's nothing 'manly' about suffering in silence.
Ah, the age-old debate: getting punched in the face or discussing feelings? Tough choice, but I'll take a punch any day. Saves me from those awkward heart-to-heart conversations!
It's unfortunate that men feel they would rather get punched than talk about their feelings. Society needs to challenge these toxic norms and promote open dialogue for better mental health.
Lol. I totally get it. However, I hope that you are able to slowly chip away at those awkward conversations. Like anything, over time the unfamiliar becomes familiar.
I think the way men spend time together makes it difficult for them to open up to teach other. When women get together it's to sit around and talk. Often when men get together they're actually doing something
If you're s man watching this, hit your buddies up. Check on em. Sometimes just letting someone know you truly get it, makes a big difference in someone.
Agreed. It is hard to open up and be vulnerable. However, the reality is that more men are doing just that, and in turn, it gives other men permission to do the same. Slowly, we are moving the right way.
Hopefully the men in your family are able to change those old ideas of what it means to be 'a man', and the next generation won't have to deal with the same challenges.
My best friend's 30 year old son took his life which came as a huge shock to everyone who knew him. The life of the party always smiling and happy but underneath clearly distressed and unable to reach out for help.
Sorry to hear of such a profound loss Hichem. So true. Just because someone is smiling doesn't mean that they are happy. Take real good care of yourself.
Agreed. When we give ourselves permission hopefully are not met with judgement. That also speaks to surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, not down.
I think not enough men are taught that to truly be "good" is knowing you have the capacity for harm, or violence, and always choosing peace and kindness instead.
Can’t believe that men’s mental health is discouraged to talk about. Seen guys be laughed at and made fun of online because they talked about their problems. I hope there’s a day where guys can be vulnerable without having to be scared
That day is coming because more men continue to demonstrate that vulnerability equals strength.
The internet is the last place to go to look for solace in the world.
I'm going through it right now at work and it sucks thinking about quitting 😔
Its treated like a hush hush topic. In school for me they say "dont name names but look at who you belive is facing depression" and i always get lookrd at by everyone. Then when you try to talk to people about your weak it fake or it doesnt matter
@@miguelreyna5724i havent opened up at work quite yet. Good luci
"There is nothing manly about suffering in silence". Profound! Braving your own internal struggles is one of the hardest and most masculine qualities I can imagine.
Thanks Jeremy. Agreed. Working through our internal pain is incredibly challenging, and yet it is also beautiful and rewarding. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts!
Men prefer to suffer in silence because there is virtually no one who gives a damn,why would anyone open to someone who he knows doesn't care
It is! We are building a support group for this very reason. Looking forward to things changing!
I don't get that quote, suffering in silence is the only manly thing I can do without anyone judging me
I don't want to suffer in silence, it's just that every other option is worse, and most of them aren't available to me anyway.
A women and man crying is the exact same thing- both human beings-Love is the way
Well said. Love is the way indeed.
Men are seen as weak, especially by women, so very rarely do they let their guard down. Allan's fantasy world and the reality for most men are polar opposites. Men are seen as disposable to society, when they are hurt, injured, or permanently disabled they are dismissed, mocked, and treated as less than.
This has been my experience. I was poisoned by an FDA approved drug in the military, the VA won't help and because my symptoms are not visible, few people take me seriously and the government refuses to help.
Your sentiment, while noble, is not what men face.
I'm really grateful there are men like this who have the courage to start a much needed dialogue around mens mental health.
Vulnerability is proving to be the new strength!
Men do talk about their problems it's just that nobody listens or cares!!
"I'd rather die than ask for help". This sentence makes absolutely no sense to people use logic to explain it. There is no logic. If you haven't experienced this kind of pain, you simply don't know. Very powerful video, thank you
I love the continuing conversations surrounding mental health , especially as it concerns men. I lost my husband to suicide 6 years ago , I wish I was as educated then as I am now. I will also continue to try to raise my voice for the sake of our sons! Thank you for all that you do!
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your husband to suicide. Thank you for raising your voice and teaching your children the value of being vulnerable and reaching out for help. They have a great mom.
Michelle is an awesome mom.
The take home message for me, "Surround yourself with people who speak the same language'. Those who have had the same experiences are your best friends.
It's a beautiful moment when we can start to hear our story through the story of others. Just like that we are no longer alone.
This guy is one of the most compassionate, sweetest humans I’ve ever had the honour of meeting and calling a friend. His message is powerful.
You are a great man Tyson and a constant advocate for men and mental health. Your story continues to inspire me, and has helped countless men. I appreciate you!
This man has helped me to raise my voice, and to continue to break down the walls around mental health issues. I consider myself extremely lucky to not only have met Al, but to call him a mentor and a friend... truly one of the most heartfelt and inspirational TED talks I've had the chance to watch.
Aw. I sure appreciate you Brad. You have enriched not only my life, but the lives of so many others. Your story and the way you choose to navigate through life is a constant source of inspiration. Much respect!
This man speaks with love and compassion to bring light to those men who are living in a place of suffering.
The love and compassion that you demonstrate for others is inspiring and contagious. I appreciate you brother!
Mens mental health - such an important conversation in todays world.
I couldn't agree more. Thanks for strengthening this conversation.
I wanted to say thank you Allan for this message. I feel more motivated than ever to talk about my mental health and get help. There's something that saddens me to the highest degree. The world waited the suicides of millions of men to finally aknowledge their struggles. It makes me sooo sad...
Grateful to hear that you are motivated to speak openly about mental health. Love it! There's nothing more powerful than your story, and it will no doubt impact many individuals.
Hey guys, I have been struggling with my mental illness my entire Life... I have been recently diagnosed with ADHD Depression and Anxiety. I took a step back from working so I get can get better and work on my self to be more competent when I get back to work. Now i got a call today from my Immobilien agency that i have to get out of my Apartment in 1 week even though we agreed that i can stay. But now she told me I have to leave because I am unemployed... But I told her the reason for its because of my mental health and I have do have the money for the rent because or my savings ... She laughed and said "its not my problem" i started crying because I dont want to be homeless right now when everything is going up hill with my mental health. It seems she was enjoying my pain on the phone and was playing games with me and being passive aggressive. I dont know what to anymore... I cant be homeless its my down fall and i tried to get help but nobody will take me seriously.
I guess i have to just punch through being homeless for a while until i get my new job.
Thanks for reading my friend and greetings from Germany!
What stands out for me is that fact that while you have been struggling with mental illness your entire life, you have always chosen to fight. While it appears life has thrown you more curve balls, I have no doubt that you will rise once again just like you always have. Keep fighting. You got this!
@@allankehler thank you so much and god bless you
@@ridethathorse2111 May God bless you as well
This talk makes me hopeful though, that we're moving in the right direction and there are men out there who genuinely care about turning things around
I too am hopefully, and I strongly believe that we are moving the right way.
I'm really glad someone is talking about this, I truly worry for all the young men I know.
Thankfully, many men are joining this conversation to make sure that the next generation of men doesn't have to fight so hard. We are definitely stronger together.
It's tough out here.
@@studyingeducation8438 Keep fighting! You got this.
Thank you! We have a man's group started and I can say this has made such an amazing impact in their lives....and that means in the women who loves them as well
That's awesome! Thanks for sharing. Great to hear that men are gathering in you community and creating a safe space to have these conversations.
Opening up to others about your pain is the most difficult things to do when you're deep in overwhelm.
Agreed. That first step of reaching out and putting a voice to your pain is often the most difficult. However, like anything else, it gets easier over time. Keep talking!
It takes so much courage and bravery to be vulnerable and open with your emotions and when men are capable of doing that it is incredibly attractive. I wish more men understood this.
Men do talk about their problems it's just that nobody listens or cares!!
This is why it's so important to encourage open and honest communication with all the men in your life, regardless of age. Let them know you can be the confidant they need.
So well said. Thanks for sharing!
There is so much strength in vulnerability though, and the sense of connection and joy that comes with opening up to a person and being heard by them is truly wonderful.
I couldn't agree more! Vulnerability equals strength.
Men do talk about their problems it's just that nobody listens or cares!!
A smile can mask alot of heartache
So true. Robyn Williams once said that the best way to hide an injured soul was behind a beautiful fake smile.
This is such an important message - for all men and boys (and, really, for all of us!). Thank you, Alan, for your vulnerability - and for your hope! Together we will rise! The time is now!
Sobriety for all, I have been off alcohol since New Years Eve and dropped weight too and my mood has lifted
An incredible accomplishment. Thanks for sharing. Much respect.
I feel so sorry for those who have had the kinds of experiences that leave them with such little trust in the humans around them that they could never open up and explore their feelings or even who they truly are.
So powerful!! A message so needed, reflecting vulnerability, courage and true strength.
Thanks Andrea. I appreciate it!
More people need to reach out and talk about their pain
I understand the fears of being vulnerable, but I also understand the rewards. Talking leads to healing.
The world will never be the same because Allan Kehler was courageous enough to live his truth and share his message. An amazing message.
Thanks Sam. I appreciate you!
This is such an important message to bring to men. Talking is so very important.
I wish my brother was here to listen to what you are saying. You are absolutely right when you say the time to talk is now!!
I am sorry to hear about the loss of your brother Tina. Thank you for helping us spread this message. Take real good care!
Allan you are inspiration and the world needs to hear more of this message
I appreciate that. Thank you.
If we saw someone with their head on a table crying in despair we would offer a shoulder to cry on, no matter what.. Simple human kindness towards another is so needed right now
I love your perspective, and the fact that you would take the time to offer that support to someone. Our world could always benefit from more kindness.
I agree with Allan that listening when someone is ready to talk about their pain is very empowering for them.
Thanks for sharing! Unfortunately most people listen to respond rather than listen to listen.
Yes absolutely take every opportunity to let someone know you can be their safe space. They might not take you up on it right away but when they're ready, they will.
Well said Darryl! If we can keep that door of communication open, they will reach out in their own way and in their own time.
I love saying "I see you" to people I work with when they've done something really cool but I've never thought about saying it to someone whose not having the best time. I think I will from now on.
Amazing! I love that. Thanks for sharing.
A smile can hide a 1000 worries
So true. Just because someone is smiling doesn't mean that they are happy.
I think the divide between men and women has really ramped up over the last decade or so too... Both sides acting like they have it worse than the other without ever acknowledging the difficulties the other has and it's just causes so much animosity that neither want to support the other anymore.
At the end of the day we are all humans, and we each deserve to be seen, heard, and supported.
Excellent as always Allan. Happy to see yiu on Tedx
Thank you!! I appreciate it.
I struggle with my mental health. Everyday is a battle. When Allan said “i never wanted to be fixed, I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be heard” I felt that heavily. Being alone with no one to understand me is the worst feeling
I appreciate and respect the fact that you keep fighting. You are definitely not alone, and I hope you can continue to reach out in times of need. You take real good care!
Thank you for continuing to be vulnerable and share your story creating space for other's to share their stories.
Thank you for your ongoing support! It means a lot.
Powerful talk, full of empathy
Vulnerability equals strength ! Love it
This conversation is all about redefining what it means to be 'strong'.
Attitudes to mental health are changing for the better and the stigma around depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder is not what it was five or ten years ago.
While there is still much work to be done, I couldn't agree with you more. We are definitely moving in the right direction, and more people are starting to share their own experiences. When we can hear our story through the stories of others, we no longer feel alone.
I had never told anyone about my mental state and about my depression. I was watching these videos yesterday to gain motivation to keep going. And I can’t explain it other than a sign from god because today out of the blue my friend texted me that he had noticed I wasn’t myself lately. He did a checkup which no one ever had before. Thank you for your video you saved my life.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share this powerful experience. I hope that from this point forward you can give yourself permission to use your voice in times of need, and that you can embrace the fact that vulnerability equals strength. I am so grateful that you were able to make it through this challenging time. Keep talking.
that story about collapsing in the hallway at school is rough. it makes me happy to see that Allan was able to change his life.
Thank you Azure. You and me both!
There are a lot of factors to mental health and a lot of the behaviors we're taught as men, and as boys growing up is just so counter productive in terms of achieving a stable mindset. When you're conditioned to tuck your feelings deep down it can be very confronting when they bubble over - a lot of the time this is expressed as anger because apparently that's the only one men are allowed to have. Wild. Nice to see men like Allan out here working to change that.
Wow. I am SO glad I watched this. A few weeks ago Joe Roberts introduced me to Allan... And I am SO glad he did. Allan and I then had a Zoom call and became quick friends. Allan, this is well done, my friend. I can't wait for our next conversation! 🙏
I am grateful that Joe Roberts took the time to make this introduction. I appreciate you, Ricky, and love your passion for life. Talk soon!
I will be showing this to my boys. Thank you Allan !
That's amazing!! Thank you for taking the time to show your boys that vulnerability equals strength.
Vulnerability breeds Vulnerability! So powerful! Thank you for speaking your truth so that other men may realize it's ok to do so.
Thanks for always cheering me on Barb and for strengthening the conversation around men and mental health. It means a lot!
@@allankehler you're very welcome. There's strength in numbers. The more support there is around this very important topic, the more we can help those that struggle realize it's ok to get help. Sorry for the delayed response.
I'm curious to know more about Allans approach to smashing the barriers that prevent men from reaching out for help. How can we as a society encourage men to seek support and break free from harmful stereotypes?
I was unaware of you visiting Moose Jaw. I hope to be able to be audience to one of your speaking engagements.
Powerful, profound and heart opening.
Thank you for your vulnerability.
You are seen…heard.
Thanks Lynn. I am sure our paths will cross at my next event in Moose Jaw. Take real good care!
Vulnerability + Strength
Exactly. This talk was all about redefining what it means to be 'strong'. Vulnerability is the new strength.
The fact that this has a viewer discretion says a lot about society not caring about men's mental health stay up kings.
Interesting point. In many ways, having a viewer discretion speaks to the fact that barriers remain that prevent us from speaking openly about these prevalent issues. I am committed to knocking down these walls brick by brick.
@@allankehler4098 keep doing what you're doing Allan we need Men like yourself to speak up about touchy subjects like men's mental health and whole well - being.
@@solomonjohnsondagoat23 I appreciate the support. Thank you. Talking has become my greatest medicine. Take real good care of yourself!
Thanks for sharing what you went through and being vulnerable and doing that in front of a huge audience and also for all of us to listen on RUclips. I appreciate you man
A powerful and important message, and one that I needed to hear. I feel so much more empowered to talk about my mental health after listening to Allan and hearing him share his story.
Thank you James for your ongoing support. Your story continues to inspire countless individuals including myself.
I was raised to express my feelings.
Needless to say I was in for a *RUDE* awakening when I grew up…
Thank you for sharing. I would be curious to know if you are at a place today where you are comfortable expressing your feelings, or if you continue to battle what society often deems to be acceptable.
That picture told a story top me. Thanks for sharing it
As a mother of three young boys I'm so grateful for the increase in attention that this subject is getting.
Couldn't agree more! We have four boys, and I am grateful that we are redefining what it means to be a 'man'.
Very well addressed. Thank you
Thanks for taking the time to listen!
The fact that this video only received 51k views and 124 comments tells you all you need to know about how much women and society really care about men.
it is the job of the INDIVIDUAL to do the WORK. Yes, conditioning has done a fine job of creating the idea that men shouldn't talk about feelings or show weakness - but we have known that is BS for a long time. There is therapy available, there are support groups - we can't point fingers, WE HAVE TO DO THE WORK. It starts by asking for help, instead of blaming people.
@@opheliaollogtren So well said. Thank you for sharing. Love it!!
Thankfully all the parents I know raising boys are doing a fantastic job at teaching them it's okay to express how they're feeling.
That's amazing. Thanks for sharing! It took me a long time to understand that feeling leads to healing.
That's very encouraging to hear!
how true is that
@@schellecandar I believe that we are definitely moving the right way!
Men of my father's generation were brought up to be stoic and never show emotion. I wonder if that's why many were alcoholics and abused their wives or children?
Interesting point! Emotions are energy and we can only suppress so much before there has to be a release. For men, that release is often anger. Thankfully, we are teaching kids the importance of feeling, and giving them strategies to manage their emotions.
For a lot of people they are way down the road to depression by the time they become aware they need help.
That is a sad reality. My hope is that these conversations will allow men to have that awareness earlier.
EXCELLENT!
Thank you for supporting this message around men and mental health.
Amazing I’ve shared with co-workers!
Thank you for sharing and strengthening this conversation Christine!
Well done Allan!! I love your books and work!! Thank you for your bravery!! You are making a difference in this crazy world. Thanks for all you and your wife do!!
Thank you so much Terrie. I really appreciate you mentioning my wife because none of the work I do is possible without her. Thanks for always cheering us on!!
Important talk Allan, well done for getting it out there, many many men in particular need to hear more of this, thanks for taking the lead, we appreciate you
That means a lot. Thank you. I am grateful to have found my voice.
Very important topic Mr Kehler. Thanks for bringing to the forefront
Grateful to hear that this topic resonates with you.
Bless you! Thank you for your wisdom and for creating a safe space for men to share their stories! Thank you for being you!!
I appreciate your support and am grateful to be in a position where I can share my story.
Thank you for your authenticity and vulnerability! Brilliant Brave Message Allan!
Thanks Joe. I appreciate you!
Men's reluctance to discuss their feelings is rooted in societal expectations... Creating a safe space for them to open up and let them know they're allowed to talk about what's going on emotionally would be a really great first step towards changing that expectation
It's also just tough for men to be vulnerable around one another - no guarantee that it's a 'safe space'
True. There never is a guarantee. However, I have often seen that when one man is willing to be vulnerable, it creates the space for others to be vulnerable as well. Take real good care!
Thanks for sharing Allan, great talk
Thank you for taking the time to listen.
I have been facing many struggles related to depression and I know for a fact that many of you faced similar problems, THIS IS WHY I started a mental health newsletter for men where I bring studies, past experiences, how did I solve my problems ,etc.
That's amazing!! Thank you for creating a newsletter for men and speaking openly about your own experiences. Love it!
@@allankehler1399 Thank you aswell, for giving hope to the new generation of men to help them to achieve what they want
Mental health issues are the real pandemic and talks like this raise more awareness and get discussions started
Thanks Yiannis. Speaking openly about our challenges creates the space for positive change.
Well said
Thanks Doug. I appreciate your ongoing vulnerability with your own mental health challenges, and your willingness to strengthen the conversation around men and mental health.
Fantastic talk, Allan. I'm glad we're moving towards a world where men feel they can be open with their emotions, although there's still a long way to go, it gives me hope.
Thank you Clara. We are definitely moving the right way!
Such an important message
Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to be part of this conversation.
“together we must rise” “together,we will rise,the time to talk about men and mental health,is now”💕
Exactly!
Well said !
So much of this comes down to the way men are socialized and what they're taught as they grow up and I really hope that as the men from this generation start having children they will start raising them differently.
So true. I believe that hope will become a reality.
Definitely sharing this one Allan, thank you for having the courage to talk about all this.
Thank you for taking the time to share, and for strengthening this conversation!
This. So many people want to push the narrative that being a man is 'easy' because of their privilege but what is easy about being taught that their feelings are wrong and make them less than manly? What is easy about feeling like you can never truly share your emotions and thoughts with your peers? Of feeling you don't have a support network that you can be vulnerable with for fear of being called a weak? There's nothing easy about that.
It's unfortunate that many continue to believe that reaching out for help is a sign of weakness. In reality, if anyone has ever given themselves permission to reach out out for help and be vulnerable, they know that it requires absolute strength. Slowly, people are understanding that vulnerability equals strength. Slowly, men are understanding that there's nothing 'manly' about suffering in silence.
Ah, the age-old debate: getting punched in the face or discussing feelings? Tough choice, but I'll take a punch any day. Saves me from those awkward heart-to-heart conversations!
It's unfortunate that men feel they would rather get punched than talk about their feelings. Society needs to challenge these toxic norms and promote open dialogue for better mental health.
Lol. I totally get it. However, I hope that you are able to slowly chip away at those awkward conversations. Like anything, over time the unfamiliar becomes familiar.
Loves
Thank you for supporting this conversation.
LOVE THIS!!
I appreciate you brother.
I think the way men spend time together makes it difficult for them to open up to teach other. When women get together it's to sit around and talk. Often when men get together they're actually doing something
So true. The majority of men socialize in settings that typically involve sports or alcohol.
as a man with no guy friends. Its ez and hard spending time with my friends that are girls. Some don't know what my feelings are as a guy
Love this talk
Glad to hear that this resonated with you!
"See me!" That's a hard one, thats a very hard one!
Bravo Al! Keep sharing your message and leading the conversations
Thank you Jesse for your friendship, mentorship, and advocacy for men and mental health.
If you're s man watching this, hit your buddies up. Check on em. Sometimes just letting someone know you truly get it, makes a big difference in someone.
Well said Raymond! Simply taking the time to just check in can be a game changer.
I think it's hard for men to open up about this stuff, especially in an online forum. The internet is a terrible place, especially comment sections 😅
Agreed. It is hard to open up and be vulnerable. However, the reality is that more men are doing just that, and in turn, it gives other men permission to do the same. Slowly, we are moving the right way.
Great talk Allan
Thank you. Glad that this message resonated with you.
It’s sad so see that this is age restricted. Why, this is helpful
Glad to hear that you found this TEDx talk to be helpful!
Allan's got the right of it here. I've seen how this affects the men in my family
Hopefully the men in your family are able to change those old ideas of what it means to be 'a man', and the next generation won't have to deal with the same challenges.
My best friend's 30 year old son took his life which came as a huge shock to everyone who knew him. The life of the party always smiling and happy but underneath clearly distressed and unable to reach out for help.
Sorry to hear of such a profound loss Hichem. So true. Just because someone is smiling doesn't mean that they are happy. Take real good care of yourself.
Take home message for me. "There's nothing manly about suffering in silence" something I'm going to try and work on.
Amazing! Like a friend of mine always says, "If you can find your voice, you can find your freedom." You got this.
It is our lineage - to be strong and silent and swallow a teaspoon of cement to harden up.
Thankfully, what was learned can also be unlearned.
It only works if you're not punished for seeking help
Agreed. When we give ourselves permission hopefully are not met with judgement. That also speaks to surrounding yourself with people who lift you up, not down.
Its ok not be ok
100%. Thank you for sharing this. In those moments we need to lean on others to help us to fight.
I think not enough men are taught that to truly be "good" is knowing you have the capacity for harm, or violence, and always choosing peace and kindness instead.
Interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Big hug!
Thank you!
Awesome!!!
Thanks Rick! I hope you are doing well!!
Everything is going great, and ur storys always we energize my focus
@@rickjackson9612 Good show!