The Reality Of What It Takes To Become A Better Man - Jimmy Rex
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- Опубликовано: 19 июн 2024
- Jimmy Rex is a men's work coach, author and a podcaster.
What does it mean to be a better man today? Is it driving a Bugatti? Praying to God? Making a lot of money? Building a family? Turning into a monk? The options are endless, so are there any underlying principles which can help guide your way?
Expect to learn what it means to be a healthy authentic man, the problems most men struggle with, how more men can learn to face their fears, what it means to be a warrior and give full devotion, the role of friendships in the modern world, why no one talks about love anymore and much more...
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00:00 Overcomplicating Masculinity
07:10 Feeling Safe as Men & Women
12:00 Most Common Struggles of Men
20:35 Is Shame Harmful?
25:07 Feeling Comfortable in Your Own Skin
35:08 Why So Many People Are Cynical
38:16 Biggest Lessons From Coaching
46:22 Balancing High Standards & Gratitude
58:39 The Role of Fear in a Man’s Life
1:04:38 How Important is Community?
1:08:15 How to Be More Decisive
1:19:50 The Decline of Alcohol Issues
1:27:14 Advice for Becoming More Present
1:31:38 The Stories You Tell Yourself
1:37:26 Having Devotion in Your Life
1:41:37 Where to Find Jimmy
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Get access to every episode 10 hours before RUclips by subscribing for free on Spotify - spoti.fi/2LSimPn or Apple Podcasts - apple.co/2MNqIgw
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Get in touch in the comments below or head to...
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Hello you savages. Get my free Reading List of 100 life-changing books here - chriswillx.com/books/ Here's the timestamps:
00:00 Overcomplicating Masculinity
07:10 Feeling Safe as Men & Women
12:00 Most Common Struggles of Men
20:35 Is Shame Harmful?
25:07 Feeling Comfortable in Your Own Skin
35:08 Why So Many People Are Cynical
38:16 Biggest Lessons From Coaching
46:22 Balancing High Standards & Gratitude
58:39 The Role of Fear in a Man’s Life
1:04:38 How Important is Community?
1:08:15 How to Be More Decisive
1:19:50 The Decline of Alcohol Issues
1:27:14 Advice for Becoming More Present
1:31:38 The Stories You Tell Yourself
1:37:26 Having Devotion in Your Life
1:41:37 Where to Find Jimmy
Chris stop being woke 😂 its not twitter, its X. So its not tweets okay, its Xcrements 😂
Hi Chris I am a frequent listener of yours and I really appreciate the quality of content and information you are providing and best of luck for the 2.5M subs ASAP.
I just wanted give out a personal request that as now you've more 700 videos its a little tough browse through the different types of content you have if possible can you create different playlists of podcasts of same genre, example-" business, workouts, relationships etc"it would be really helpful.
All the best for future endeavours
Great idea man
Yes please
Excellent idea!!
Ye this please, great idea
Please. Pin this man
"Even the abscence of things can still be them controlling you." OMG This one hit so hard.
Hi, Chris, I'm a random guy from Russia. I just wanted to thank you telling me in this video, how to evaluate difficult decisions and be more decisive in general. Just made a crucial decision about my career because of that. Keep crushing it! C:
Hows life in russia? I know nothing about it
@@Therevolution7it's fine
The entire country is controlled by Putin ✌️
Really appreciated this episode! As a 41yr old recently divorced man from Utah (pulled the Mormon Church cart most my life+ I did a 2 year mission to Mexico)
I really envisioned the “brag about yourself to a small trusted group and feel the self esteem boost ,,, part. It was good just to envision. This guy looks exactly like my ex bro in-law. Sad too much divorce. Too much guilt and shame weighing us decent guys down. Wish the church and ex wives would help us “get the lead out” vs set out to have us donn wearing sack cloth, destroyed enthusiasm & destitute. I’ve learned in studying psychology, spirituality, shedding the victimhood life to stand up for myself and my own life’s wellbeing.
Keep your head up brother, a new door has opened
I'm so down for bringing people on regardless of religion. As a member of the same faith, mist people don't realize how misunderstood and falsely stigmatized mormons are. Whenever I talk to people they are always shocked when I tell them my religious backround👊
Every Mormon I can remember meeting has been rather kind and pleasant.
Man i don't know who this guy is until i watch this, but what he says really inspire me.
Impressed by the pencil twirling
I started drinking neutonic and now I can twirl 3 at once - game changer.
Chris is a great conversationalist! 👏🏼
What a performance and emission of compassion through articulation to successfully converse with a parrot that very quickly into our talk I’d come to realize, very much belongs “coaching” the Utahan divorcé and may not hold up in the court of high caliber conversations my reputation has been constructed upon. I shall bear the weight and maintain my commitment to providing value, despite my inherently unfortunate predicament in this fine recording.
Hello Chris, I want to thank you for those interesting conversations that intelligently, while also in a positive manner try to make sense of this world and how to be a man in it (while also exploring other subjects). I hope you hear it enough that you're in many ways a benchmark of what healthy masculinity can look like and I'm proud to call you a person I learn from. Keep on the great work, it's much appreciated.
PS. I appreciate you branding your tribe as "extremely intelligent, reasonable people", boosts ego easily.
"Step #1: Take a moral stand...with 'just knowing/observing' and self-awareness."
If we are speaking epistemologically, "intuition" is only part of what is necessary for developing morality grounded by integrity. The next drivel of speech is a handful of weak assertions based on simplistic observations and some "ought" claims about moral goods.
How does one make moral judgments or issue ought/should statements with an incomplete moral framework based solely on intuition? How do we determine what is "good" or "bad"? And who gets to decide the categorical assignment of such moral outcomes?
Loving this self development kick Chris seems to be on atm. Ties in with where I’m at in my own life right now
Fantastic podcast, I was especially captured by how emotive and outwardly joyous Jimmy is when he talks.
Love from Uganda.. Love the podcast and just love hearing Uganda being mentioned
The most helpful masculinity video i have seen my whole life !!!! Nice work!!!
Thank you, truly I needed to hear that.
42:00 There are many stories that worked the other way around at Mt. Everest (and other high peak) climbs.
One of my favourite conversations so far. Great energy, great topics
Great podcast! Respectfully, the speaker has a misunderstanding of Christianity. Christianity is about liberating people from shame through forgiveness. We are all imperfect and “broken”. When we can put aside our pride and acknowledge our faults, we can move on and grow.
His deconstruction of Mormonism has ironically, yet appropriately, led him closer to Christ.
Basically every guru has the same shtick: religion tells you X, and that’s horrible, but what you really need is ABC…that religion also tells you. The problem was never the religion, which ever religion they’re talking about; the problem was always their own relationship with X.
This dudes relationship with religion due to Mormonism really needs to be taken into consideration. Leave it to an American made brand of Christianity
Ya Mormonism is horrible bro described what was GOOD about religion and then said that it wasn’t what religion is. Mormonism bastardizes Christianity. We are flawed and that IS okay. Idk what part of the Bible John smith was reading when bro said that isn’t the case
Amazing conversation that makes me go down on the introspection path. Thank you Chris for bringing in valuable guests.
Persistence through adversity is notable; reckless and indefatigable stupidity during mountaineering expeditions is not.
While I agree that mentorship can be powerful for generating life changes and perspective shifts, numerous factors are requisite of mentors by their mentees...competence, and humility are a solid start.
Ah the exmormon social climber. Lovely.
Like so many other "life coaches"...or a male hybrid of Julie Hanks' psychological understanding and what John Dehlin could be with moderate testosterone replacement therapy. Maybe, he can get an interview with the Mormon Stories podcast next.
This is crazy. The whole point of his dance lesson was don’t care about what other people think.
Then, some of the Next statements out of his mouth are, I don’t want to spend any time with people who will judge me. I don’t want to have to exercise that aspect of masculinity. I just want people to accept me for who I am.
Yah and the list reading feeding ego was nonsense IMO
Kinda made me proud of my manly man.
@@bbb129 That was one part where I was like: "Yeah...that doesn't work."
Maybe it does. I wouldn't know.
@@nottomclancy2439 yeah everything has a good and bad to it, for me no thanks, for others it’s probably extremely useful.
East to say this or that doesn’t work, different strokes.
“Be afraid.” Be insecure.” “Why you’re not happy.”
Chris, you’re getting views by playing into people’s insecurities. You’re making people think they have these problems even when they don’t. You’re literally hurting people by bombarding them with negative thoughts and statements (to get more views?).
I liked your podcast. You have an incredible presence and many great guests. Now take a moment and think about what you’re trying to accomplish. You’d help a lot more people if you kept the video titles positive, even when you address insecurities and problems within the interview.
I’m not afraid, but when I read, “Stop being afraid” it implies that I am. Same with the other thumbnails you’ve been posting.
How about “Be Your Bravest Self” or “Conquer Any Obstacle?”
You can help a lot more people by building them up rather than tearing them down for a few more clicks. Integrity…
A brilliantly insightful comment, and you're highlighting a wider issue that is pervasive across social media. I'm in complete agreement; you can't inspire by using fear.
What I should have added is that you can, however, sell through fear! And that's the conflict of interest Chris, and others who profit from producing online content, faces. There seems to be a point where integrity comes face to face with profit, and a fight ensues.
Ahh, tone policing...such a novelty.
@@Being_Bohemian It is a fight that Chris sadly seems to have lost.
I hope one day watching/listening a conversation between Chris and Brene Brown about shane and vulnerability
This episode is amazing. Definitely not just for men, as a woman I'm learning a lot. So much resonates with me.
I can always count on @Chris for the most interesting, thoughtful conversations ❤
@1:02:30 I love a good yarn, but you go on so many tangents, it is hard to remember the yarn you were trying to say at the beginning.
It is ok to leave room for error so that you can later clarify, but don't bury your point by stacking layers of tangents.
Amazing episode, really refreshing to listen this.
Jimmy mentions that people don't regret doing an action, when a few minutes before he told the story of a man regretting gaslighting his wife and leading her to abortion.
Mmmm interesting
Yeah, that is silly. People don't regret actions? What? So if I hit someone in a fit of rage, I would not regret it when I'm in the back of a police car?
I have not listened to the episode yet, so we will see what I think after.
To help clarify what he means:
Whether you view mistakes or "bad decisions" or even immoral decisions as regrettable or transformative is a choice, your choice. He later caveats with, "unless you're a horrible person" meaning someone who never chose to learn from and transform into a better person going forward. People on their death bed will either choose to regret something they never could come to terms with, or choose to appreciate the life they have led through the transformative pain of facing their demons.
He means in long term retrospect, not in immediate terms. You have to learn the lesson to let go of regret. But it is possible and unless you're going to live your entire life turning your head from the ugly truth and (like he points out later) point the finger at everyone but yourself (aka live life as a "horrible person"), you'll have to do something about it eventually. The entropy of life pushes you towards freeing yourself from regret.
He may have been speaking imprecisely on a study about late life regrets. It’s not that nobody ever regrets doing something, its just a surprising finding that not doing things is a much bigger category of regret.
In a sense, abortion guy’s torment was less about regretting what he did than about not doing the work to set things right with himself and his woman for all those years.
@@parkloqi Every action has a (counter) non-action. For example going out with friends means not spending time with family. Choosing to focus on career means not have enough time for other things. Choosing to work in an office means giving up your dream about becoming a musician etc. Approaching women and trying to get into a relationship means not leaving time and space to be alone and single.
Almost every circumstance has an action and a non-action. So when you regret something usually you regret both sides; your actions and the non-actions.
I have a couple guesses, but I’m dying to know at what point Chris realized it was a mistake to bring this guy on. Such a strong start, too. Shame.
I was getting ready to comment the same. Looking at the video, I think it was right after the first question.
What’s wrong with him
Same here. What’s wrong with him? I also have a weird feeling about the guest but I can’t quite put it into words.
I agree I wish I knew this would be poor quality to avoid clicking on it giving this one a dislike
I realized that doing what i like is for me most important thing and it helped me a lot. I really love to spread the word about nature and awareness how important it is, that really brings joy to my life. And also taking care and raising my moths is what gets me going in life. I hope everybody finds their purpose in life and put maximum effort to it.
I wish u all great day.🦋🦋🦋
He just explained how members of the Mormon church are supposed to think about God, always loving an encouraging us to become better. Sad he chose to leave but im sure he 'll figure things out, with his desire to find truth
thank you for sharing :)
I’m also former Mormon. This guys teaching needs to be taken with a grain of salt BECAUSE of his brokenness over his being raised a Mormon. I knew within a few minutes that he was talking about being Mormon. I think it severely impacts his relevance.
Where can I learn about Mormonism. Ik it's bad, but just wanna learn HOW bad.
How does being Mormon affect what he says about being strong? I just started listening so I’m curious
@@T4ffynxnja Hmm. I am interested to know how you KNOW it is bad.
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Most of my drive to a better man comes from my desire to follow Christ. I believe He set the perfect example of what a man can be, and then everyday I try and wake up and do the best I can to follow HIs example. For me, most of the peace and joy I feel comes from my relationship with Christ and from my church community in which I am an active participant.
It is work that makes me anxious and sometimes dread getting up. If weren't for my faith in Christ and the purpose my beliefs give me, I would be an absolute mess.
@@SeanyeMidWest Nice, but "faith" in any religion is not a yardstick of if it's good or not. Truth is. And however oblivious you are to it, there are literal pagans, and cultists who can make similar claims to you - just to prove how none of the points posed really amount to anything.
If I were to explain however, it's that why would anyone even decide to take Mormonism seriously when it's authenticity in general raises many eyebrows.
As for it being "bad", this is from more of a policy standpoint. I judge good and bad from the Islamic perspective, as I'm Muslim. Which means my standardisation comes from the Qur'an and the teachings of the prophet. Whatsoever contradicts it by definition cannot be superior to God's word.
It may have been disingenuous to label it as "bad" per-se, either way, this is even better. As a Mormon yourself - could you lend me some resources that you think would make me change my mind? I'd like to get the biased view seeing as my position in-and-of-itself is biased.
Thanks.
Also exMo and could tell he was Mormon in the first 2 minutes lol
Came to the comments to check for sure
Thank you Chris
This was really good.
All in on this. I dig your podcast Chris.
Amen
Guys, are morales and ethics just complex feelings?
Awesome episode. I got a lot of value, new ideas especially about creating a safe space, everyone deserves to feel unconditional love, I could go on, I definitely will add this to my workflow. Thank you both.
Get a dog.
Thanks Chris. FYI you just got quoted in the FT by Janan Ganesh! Might be worth inviting him...
I wonder if he’s conscious of the way he has repurposed religious tools under a secular brand. I celebrate his quest to bring comedy to the tragedies of modern men. I celebrate too his departure from Mormonism, though his pendulum swing into the cesspit of extramarital sex is really unfortunate. All the truths he has discovered are found in Christ. Peace Chris
While ironically demonizing the religious upbringing that allowed or provided for the necessary conditions to create his present level of affluence?
@@polynikes2000 That’s the American Dream
Constantly adding value. Thank you ❤️
The world is going mad and is slowly burning itself, so that's going to be rather difficult.
1:09:10 I regret many of my decisions, and ironically, many of them was things that I initially considered to be good for me.
For instance, I regret working in high school, cause this work was a career dead end, took time and energy I could spend to actually improve skills I apply in my current job, which also gives my much more money.
So even I was really glad to have that job initially, now I realise it harmed me in the long run.
Life is weird.
Literally all of these gurus say.
“Religion tells you XYZ and it’s horrible.
What you really need is…” and it’s just
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVW that religion also tells you.
Like bro, maybe you were the one who had a problem integrating XYZ, not the religion.
Dang, wish I had friends
41:08 no pressure.
That list sounds silly Billy
This is not just for men…I highly enjoyed this. At 53 I can say absofreakinglutely to women in their masculine because of an event(s) in the past. I have a very difficult time being in my feminine. Men fall for the independent early and then want you to suddenly change. It’s a very difficult process and one that needs communication, safety, and time. I also appreciated the steps. I have done a lot of work on me these past years…it all starts with the story I tell myself and then questioning is this the truth? That is a process too but it’s so worth it!
There’s a great video essay on YT called something along the lines of “What it means to be a man”. It’s an analysis of the Big Lebowski. Great insights.
Definitely feel like Jimmy is disconnected from the reality of most people. Great ideas wrong footing.
yeh you just kinda know man...and this guy is a life coach? people pay for this? are you serious? wow!
The point is that "distinguishing right from wrong" isn't really the problem- even if it's the first question we ask ...and it is a good framing question- but we already know the answer. That's not the part of the process actually holding us up/back....right/wrong is an intuitive, subconscious mechanism of our conscience (inner voice? Instinct? Gut-check?)....value hierarchies of western civilization have a mostly consistent foundation, and that's what we're talking about.
Recognizing those foundations may be tricky for some, but asking the question prompts then answer.... this guy isn't needed to tell us or anyone else....what to DO with those answers is where his guidance seems to come into play.
I wanna see Asmongold in this podcast, that would be huge.
Dude YES
When a man is vulnerable to me I feel I'm trustworthy.😊
More of this type of conversation/discussion/ mental sharings . Good 👍
Just wanna add a better man has a reverence to Our Supremely Being ( God).
I LIKE THIS
Beautiful 💙
So close yet so far 😢
I would say it is feminine to think it is not okay to dance if you are a man
Jordan Peterson really did make crying a very popular and trendy thing to do...
Lets go🎉
This black-walled "pod" is a no-go in my opinion. Doubtless it's portable and economic, but it's jarring and "hard." Whereas some of your other sets are softer and warmer. Listeners, obviously, won't care. But from a visual standpoint, the black-walled "pod" is the set I hope gradually goes away.
Otherwise, your interviews and content continue to be regular weekly viewing/listening. Very good guests. Very good conversations.
Jimmy is as legit as they come. Very grateful for this man.
This is an incredible podcast. This guest has not added value.
Wasn't this dude on the Jersey Shore?
Yo here at 4 views!
One of your best podcasts so far with one of your most exceptional guests. Well done
Are those real lightsabers in the background?
😊👌❤💋💋
He is killing it, He is killing life..but he is sad---> this podcast
Good to know. I may sit it out now lol. Anything of value in there?
Honestly this is the worse guy to have on your show, guest rating 2/10
9:40 honestly, this guy is too one dimensional in his thinking. You don’t have to be vulnerable then adopt a frame again. If you’re a man who is confidently vulnerable, that IS the frame. This guy is almost straight out of the pickup culture playing a bunch of games.. Also, let’s cancel saying “my masculine” or “my feminine” it’s literally so cringy.
Chris you should come to Romania and do a podcast with me for next April 1st bc I'd be a joke
annotations
20:35
37:55
51:51
1:27:37
7:38
The best thing for men is not to give a f. So I will title my video 'The reality of what it takes to become a better man'. And then we talk about cheering for our badass traits. The way this channel is, in the topics he chooses, the exact opposite of what it preaches is funny to me. Next week : how your addiction to social media is ruining your life! It doesn't even work as an orthopedic insole for the male brain if it's this glaringly filled with contradictions. What men need more than anything else is hanging out with other men on a weekday. Worked for my man. And get off the internet.
The last part for sure - most men are lacking the real life social interactions that are critical. Also, too much internet - I'm guilty of both.
Can someone make this guest the 4th Boeing whistle blower
“You have to suck at something to become good at it.” On its face value, that does not sound right. What about talent?
Still applies even with talent. To publicly try something new you have to be willing to look silly. Otherwise you’ll succumb to your fears and not try to improve.
Talent is only a little stepping stool between you and the achievement you are trying to reach. It objectively helps you in your pursuit to be exceptional at a given goal. But you still have to sacrifice your pride in order to be “good” at anything.
And I agree that it doesn’t ‘sound’ right. But I don’t see how that statement is wrong, generally speaking. I’ve never seen a baby walk in which its first opportunity was given
It doesn't "sound" correct and logically fails as a statement because of a lack of supporting evidence in the fields of evolutionary psychology, behavioral genetics, or technological adaptation.
Chris get new super slim ipad
People in these comments are way too subject to their personal bias. If you ignore truth (even if you despise the source) than you are less than you can be.
Bit bloody ableist
Holy crap. Kids, this ain't it.
Like an intellectually deficient distillation of the Red Pill/MGTOW content presently available...
Can this guy humble brag anymore? He comes across as extremely insecure
You can't make plans in life because your destiny is not your hands.
You can let the river wash you where it wants or you can navigate the channel as best you can, try to find the shore before the rapids.
It sounds like you tried to follow somebody else is religion, rather than make it your own. your definition of shame sounds good. But it also seems to conflict with you experience in religion.
7:59 - unless youre a religious women, or happy to live a subservient life, chances are youll probably avoid MAGA states 😂
Right, those states are filled with people who all think and act exactly the same 🙄
@greatKaren 😂
Chances are genius, if its dominated by Qpots, and conspiracy theorists, and theyre also in positions of power, i.e governance, judicial... Guess how that affects the dissenters or those with alternative philosophies in that state... Did i mention Genius!?
Do you realize how bitter and frustrated you come off? Its really awkward. Do you notice this happen frequently?
@@djackson4605 😂 if you say so.
Perspectives are based on your own experiences, if my comment triggers an emotion for you, it might have something to do with you. I'm very comfortable with my thoughts and feelings, I'm sure if someone had some facts to disprove my ideas, then i might understand the remark, but the nothing burger responses are pointless right? 😂