It's been a difficult year... Vlogmas Day 5 & 6 || Kelli Marissa Vlogs
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
- Check out my main channel here: / kellimarissa
Hi friends, sorry this video is a little late but I was nervous to post it lol. I wanted to share an honest life update with you all and let you know how I've been feeling in 2023, to be honest it's been a pretty tough year for me mentally and I've been feeling a bit lost. There are good days and bad days, but this day was kind of a difficult one for me. But I know things will get better :)
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Small steps for healing. Don't beat yourself up. It WILL get better. You are amazing and I hope you and Ryan have the best time this holiday season. ❤
Thank you so much for the support and encouragement ❤️
She can't heal being stuck in limbo like this. Trust I know. I'm glad you never had to learn that though.
Take all the time you need, Kelli. You don't need to apologize or even explain things to us if it makes you uncomfortable. I hope 2024 is better for you. Love ya. 💜
I really enjoy when you talk about your mental health/health struggles. I had to give up group therapy recently because I got a new job that doesn't allow time for it, and this message from you was honestly like a breath of fresh air. I'm sure it's really hard to share personal struggles online for just anyone to see, and I really commend you for everything you do share, it takes a lot of guts. You are not alone, so many people struggle like you do you, where you ARE unique is in how open you manage to be about it, and I really love it! I come to this channel specifically to hear all about it, not as in a gawking way, I just love hearing people be genuine, and I feel that I get that from you.
Thank you for the kind words and support, it really means a lot to me. ❤️ I'm sorry to hear you had to give up the group therapy, hopefully it's something you can go back to in the future but in the meantime I hope you can use what you've learned from them to help you get through and struggles! I wish there were online group therapy options (with a licensed person leading it) because it would be so nice for people who have time restrictions!
@@KelliMarissaVlogsWhy DON'T we have those in the world? That would be so awesome.
Oh Kelli what you're describing about therapy is so relatable. It's so hard to feel down or bad (hence needing the therapy) but then having to overcome this challenging task of finding help. I'm sorry you're going through this and I have so much empathy for what you're going through, and you're not alone. I hope things improve soon!
Thank you so much ❤️ it really is an anxious person's nightmare to find a therapist which is quite ironic LOL
@@KelliMarissaVlogs couldn't agree more!
Don’t be so hard on yourself! When you’re worn down and having health issues, being reactive is often the best you can do, especially when the crap keeps rolling in. That’s been my 2023 and part of 2022, as well. I relate so much to not having the energy for the things that fill your cup, but then suffering more because of that. I know things don’t magically change on New Year’s Day, but I’m really looking forward to saying goodbye to this year. It can be so hard to find a therapist you vibe with and that can be such a barrier to getting the help you need. Sending you all the good vibes!
finding the right therapist is legit *SO* hard, i hope you can find someone you feel safe and comfortable with soon!!! i really appreciate how open and honest you are in your vlogs, you are one of my fav youtubers to watch and i want 2024 to be like, wayyy nicer to you lol.
You don’t owe us anything, so please don’t feel the pressure to post certain days or share things you aren’t ready to share.
I think I speak for everyone when I saw that you have to take care of you first. That’s the priority. The rest will fall into place when and where it can.
Kelli, please don’t feel like you owe us viewers anything. We are so grateful for whatever you feel comfortable sharing! & even with vlogs that don’t have so much going on & it’s just you talking, we enjoy them so much. Mental health is a work in progress. Give yourself time to heal. We are here for you. ❤
Hi Kelli. Having to deal with stressful living situations, health issues, and bad practitioners who hurt more than help (plus more, in just one year!) would mess up anyone’s mental health, big time!! It just takes it out of you after a while despite trying to go on and do positive things without things improving. I’m so sorry that you’re in that cycle.
If it’s going to help to make the video about the previous bad living situation, just know that it doesn’t have to be perfect and organized. It can ramble and be messy and not be “perfect”. I know how hard you can be on yourself, so just remember that the subscribers who truly care will not judge you. If it will help, you can let it out however you can! Even if you uploaded a Trisha-style, cry on the floor video… I would still watch and support and feel positive about being your subscriber.
And if you decide that it actually won’t be helpful to tell us - you don’t even have to tell us!! I hope that you can really feel into your needs and ignore what you think WE want, and focus on what you NEED. I don’t want to be some rando who tells you what to do, but in the really hard times in my life, it has been super helpful to me to just be very present with my own feelings to determine what I actually need. And literally block out what I think others need for a period of time. It’s so easy to get bogged down with others perceived expectations and not hear that little (but very important) inner voice. I’m not sure if you’re experiencing that, but if you are, this is just a caring reminder that your needs are important!!! And your needs are more important than our wants.
I’m wishing you the best and hope that life starts to feel better soon 🩷🩷🩷
💜💙💜 Thanks for sharing! Sometimes those cocoon like phases in life feel like we are stagnating but maybe it is just the calming lower energy period we need to recover from what has happened and get ready for what is next! I hope this holiday season can be restful and cozy. Sending big hugs!
Thank you so much 🥰❤️ that's a really good way to reframe it!
After the cocoon comes the butterfly
Kelli, remember everything happens for a reason. Your event caused PTSD, which I had after someone hit and totaled my car with me in it. Just having it labeled helped because I knew what the enemy was. I was able to separate me from the event and heal. Hope the same for you.
That must have been a terrible experience, I'm glad to hear that you've been healing from it ❤️ sending you lots of love!
I appreciate your vulnerability in putting yourself out there, however that may look. As humans we don't give ourselves enough grace. Look at all the successes you've had this year.....you and your hubbs bought a house, your channel has grown, your content keeps us coming back and you are reading an amazing book so please give yourself credit for that! Sometimes it's okay to not be okay (definitely a hard lesson to learn) but life be lifin' and the show goes on....put your best foot forward however that looks for you. Trust the process Kelli you got this girl!!! Enjoy the holidays and take it easy on yourself ❤
I think a lot of people can identify with your struggle this year. I hope the coming year brings healing and health, that you feel safe and less stressed, and that you can find your way back to feeling "yourself" again. We're all here for you!❤
Regarding your issues: It hurts my heart that you're going through things. I'm a 'fixer' & want to do whatever I can to help/support you, even if it's just to lend an ear to hear about it & give you virtual hugs. Please, take all the time you need before you share, & do share whatever you feel comfortable with. Please know there are those of us who are here for you. I do hope things are looking up, or are headed there soon. Also, I've been loving the Vlogmas episodes! Thank you for doing these 😊
It"s ok that You're going through something don't feel bad about not telling us about it just get the help You need and don't worry about us we will still be here thank You for doing vlogmas I have been enjoying watching it You're really sweet God Bless
As a fellow introvert/homebody I don’t discount the effect that an uncomfortable living situation can have on your mental health. I really hope things start to feel better for you Kelli. I think of you as incredibly resilient and a joyful person - even when you’re going through tough times. Sending my best ❤
So sorry it’s been such a tough year in so many different ways!!! I definitely do not think that all you do on this channel is complain- quite the opposite in fact!!! I think this channel is a great balance of life. Days, weeks, months, and years all have highs and lows, and I appreciate all your honestly with everything you share.
I also truly hope you’re able to find a therapist who suits you. In the same way that it’s so beneficial to have a good therapist, it can also be incredible stressful and detrimental to struggle to find one 😓😓
Sending lots of good vibes your way. Here’s to 2024!!!
I’ve been dealing with PTSD for a few months now from a traumatic event that happened a year ago. It’s wild what the body stores and remembers. I started meeting with a therapist who specializes in PTSD and brain spotting (tapping techniques) and it is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I hope you find a source of healing soon with whatever you are going through ❤
It sure has been a tough year; for a multitude of reasons. Aside from maybe 2-3 people in my life, I feel like everyone else I know (including myself has just had a rough 12 months). Sending out empathy and compassion, I hope you take all the time you need to get to a better place, and I'm hoping 2024 turns out so much better for everyone who's been struggling. We're doing the best we can. 🤗
I definitely understand the mental health struggles. I’ve been going through stuff myself for a while now. When you say I want to be me again, I totally get that! I so appreciate your transparency and honesty. Real life happens and we have to figure out how to cope sometimes. I hope everything turns around for the best in 2024. Love you girl!❤ Keeping you in my prayers.
Thank you so much Lisa, it seems like 2023 has just been a tough year across the board. Adjusting to this new normal but also dealing with so many major world events is just draining, on top of all the stuff we usually have to deal with. I bet 2024 will be our year though!!
Positive things (moving, working on collabs, etc) can be super stressful too. My therapist would be so proud of you for being intentional about adding more self-care and things that bring you joy and connect you back to yourself into your day, even if it's not working as well as we would hope right now. I don't comment much, but I really love your content and I hope you know you're never letting anyone down by taking care of yourself or by talking about the things you're struggling with.
Mentally healing yourself after traumas (whether it's regarding something like a physical health matter, mental health or a horrible experience), they are still all some of the most difficult things, to heal and come back from. Please take all the time you need, I think you deserve to be proud of yourself, even just waking up and getting out of bed, is very a HUGE accomplishment and I honestly think you deserve a round of applause. I know from my own personal experience, how absolutely impossible a task it can be and I am so amazed of strong you are🙌💗.
Honestly, I enjoy just watching you opening the advent calendars if that’s all you have the energy to film/edit.
with everything you've been going through - and it is a LOT by anyone's standards! - you are doing an amazing job at getting on with things. I know how hard it is to do anything when I'm feeling overwhelmed and in a bad place, so please give yourself ALL the credit for everything you've been doing! The move, all the fantastic videos on your nail polish channel, all that you're giving to others around you, and keeping up on your physical health is seriously impressive. You deserve to give yourself a break and prioritize your health and happiness. 2024 will be an amazing year!
Stay strong! You are doing great,and we all love your openess about your life. It helps us all. ❤
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
From one person who's had a very difficult year to another, your health, mental and physical, is paramount. Don't think about it from the point of view of what you think your subscribers "deserve" - think of it from the POV that we understand, we care and we want you to do the best for you and when you put out content, we're here for it and we enjoy it, but your own welfare is far more important. Go at whatever speed you need to and I for one will still be here watching and liking as and when a new vid pops up 💜
Kelli, no one deserves more of *your* energy than *you*. I love seeing the cool things you've been up to, but that wouldn't be any good if you're not enjoying it/happy. We'll be here when you're feeling better/up to sharing.
A lot of people I know and myself have had a rough year this year. I think a lot more people than you realize relate so hard to your experiences. I have had new chronic health issues from stress (celiac disease), and I also had to deal with needing to move and having to buy because nothing was available to rent. Therapy is NOT for everyone, and finding the right therapist is part of why I have never really been enthusiastic about it. I journal daily to get the things I'd want to talk about out of my head. You mentioned you've been mostly reactive and that isn't something I've thought about this year, but same? I would like to do more than I do. I have gotten a little bit of a benefit from a self-care app on my phone that incentivizes me to do some of the things I neglect or try to avoid. If I may make a suggestion... if you do decide to talk about the health issue, maybe do a firm disclaimer about the comments not trying to diagnose you because you are working with your doctors, or it might end up turning into a lot of overwhelming or scary medical advice you don't want. And if you aren't comfortable talking about it, don't. You are entitled to have boundaries.
Oh honey. You only share what you want to share. You have had so much going on--give yourself some major props for dealing with all this AND running your successful business. Seriously! I'm not saying that just to make you feel better either. I don't think you are "off" at all. You have a good plan for dealing with everything-but also be patient with yourself and give yourself room to do and feel all the things you need to. I personally think you are great and I look forward to seeing you all the time, but if you needed to step away to take care of yourself, just do it! I don't "know" you, but if you need an ear, I'm here (rhyme for you, lol). Hang in there, relax and enjoy this season. 2024 is going to rock for you.
We don't expect you to be more than a human being. Just like us. I certainly don't, as I have lists of things going on, both mentally and physically, myself. And I struggle a lot with both on a daily basis, too. In fact, did you ever start a "whining" channel, I'd be the first one to sign up 😅 Don't apologize for being a human being. Life happens. And you know what the best part of you is? That you are real and sincere, one that we can relate to ❤
No need to apologize at all. Your vulnerability is refreshing and helpful to so many. Wishing you all the best with everything you have going on behind the scenes!
Stop being so hard on yourself. Be kind to yourself babe. We will be here xxxx
it's makes me sad to see you struggling. We're here for you. I hope 2024 is a better year.
I think because emotions and stress can feel like they start in a snap, we think it can also go away as fast. Things usually take far more time that we want them to. Feeling unsafe in your home is a genuine trauma that will heal but not overnight and not even immediately when the situation changes. You are a very aware person and that both helps you more understand what you are feeling but can hinder you at the same time because you are aware it's not exactly gone yet and can be unsure how to move past it. Therapy is a brilliant tool but finding the right person is a struggle. It is frustrating and disheartening being unable to click with a doctor. It's worth it to keep trying, as you know.
When something disrupts your safe haven, it can take a while to get back to normal. Keep sharing with whomever you wish to or write things down. Later you can reflect on your thoughts and see things in your own perspective, from a different lens. I hope that makes sense. We care about you. ❤ THERE WAS NO RAMBLING GOING ON WITH YOU! ❤❤❤🌲🌲
I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I hope things get better for you. When you're down, you can only go back up!
That's true! I'm hopeful the new year will bring a lot more ups than downs haha!
Putting yourself first is so, so important. Take all the time you need to take care of you, we’ll be here ❤️ Finding the right therapist is also extremely hard. I’ve been emailing places in my area and getting nothing in response. It’s hard and disheartening. Much love to you, Kelli ❤️❤️❤️
Content creators like you (especially you!) are giving more than you realize. You are my go-to when I'm having a rough day. Spending time with you is fabulous. I hope you have a great year and things smooth out. Your comment about wearing perfume only on special occasions actually made me smile because it reminded me of something my great grandmother said. She said beautiful things should be used, not kept in reserve. They cannot give their beauty to the world if they are hidden away. She was referring to her beloved china and linens, but the concept applies to just about everything!
Oh wow I love that, beautifully said and so true! I feel like my instinct with special things is to not use them but I am really trying to unlearn that because what's the point of buying something lovely if you won't let yourself enjoy it!
I think one of the hardest things about being a "public figure" of sorts is the feeling that because you're struggling and maybe producing less content than you want, that you're letting your followers down. But based on what I have seen of your community, we support you 100%. Take care of yourself first, and the rest will follow. Sending love and healing vibes. ❤
Share what you feel comfortable with. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. Sending you love and healing energy xxx
Kelli, I totally get you about finding a therapist. It’s super hard!! I go through times where I’m just without, but I know it’s super necessary. I feel for you! We will succeed and I know we will get better and more comfortable :)
Love watching you and I hope the best for you ❤
Don’t ever feel like you are complaining too much, we relate to you so much
I definitely understand the feeling of having a good therapist. It's really tough to look for one but you will find a therapist that you click with. I wish you luck on the search!
The comment section says exactly what I'm feeling! I really appreciate how open and honest you are and please don't beat yourself up and give yourself a little bit of grace! If you change your mind and don't want to share anything at all, that's your right and you don't have to share those things if it takes a week or if it takes a year, you share it when you feel comfortable doing so if at all! You don't need to feel obligated to share details that you are not comfortable with if you don't want to! You're such a sweet girl and I'm so sorry to see and hear that you have been struggling and I'm really sad to hear as well that you both were in a unsafe and uncomfortable situation even if it was just for one day! I'm glad you're away from that but yes that's going to take some time to get past! For 6 months you were on high alert and basically in survival mode so it's going to take time for your mind and body to realize that you are safe now. you do whatever you feel you have to do that benefits you and the rest of us can wait and we can and will accept whatever those decisions may be! I wish you all the wonderful happiness in the world and I really hope things get better for you!
I'm painting my nail with a Kelli skittles while watching this. I'm using Starrily Gravity and Orly New Moon as my base with Holo Taco's Freezer Burn (I know, an outlier) sandwiched with Orly Smoke Jelly and Mystic Jelly topping. It's a lot, but it's working. My Kelli collection has grown so much! 2023 has been dark for a lot of us. Thank you for injecting a little color back into it. Keep being your own awesome self.
It really sucks when you need to find a therapist that clicks with you. I had a similar situation where my previous therapist retired. It took a while to find the right match afterwards and I felt so frustrated and defeated. I now have a therapist that is the best match I have ever had. I hope you can find the same soon!
Oh Kelli, I felt sad to hear you apologizing for not keeping up a certain pace that you feel obligated to do in order to keep us interested. One of the main reasons I feel faithful to your channel is your authenticity. You are not a machine, no matter what the internet expects of you. All of the things you went through and are still going through are individually difficult, and added together? BABE!! Please remember we love you. You are a whole human, and your energy waxes and wanes under even good times. You are allowed to feel disconnected. You will come back to yourself because you desire that equilibrium. Everything will be alright and it is such a privilege to be a witness to your process and hold space for you when you need it. Your wellbeing is #1 priority. So much love to you, Kelli. Share what you want, when you want. ❤❤❤ Big Hugs.
I know this comment was to Kelli but it was very inspiring for me to read
@@lisapierce525 xoxo ❤️✨
Hope you will find your therapist and your way to feeling yourself again! Take all the time you need and don't be so hard on yourself! ❤ We've been in a terrible living situation this year for the past couple of months with our upstairs neighbor being a very young person who's been partying every night all night, super loud, with music, screaming, harassing other neighbors etc. They finally got kicked out and today was - hopefully - the last time they came to give the keys back. We are finally able to sleep at nights, but I've been struggling with severe anxiety and have to take meds and supplements for it because of the whole situation. Sending you lots of love and truly hope you will be able to feel at peace, safe and at home in 2024!❤
I feel like we have both had a similar year. I have not been feeling like myself for a while and struggled ALOT with my mental health.
I had a wonderful therapist that I loved but unfortunately last year when hurricane Ian destroyed my town she closed her practice and I have not been able to connect with someone in the same way.
Another thing that’s difficult… when all people seem to see on the outside are the good things in your life they can’t seem understand what you could possibly be struggling with.
I just want you to know that you are not alone and that should not beat yourself up about the amount of content you have or have not put out.
I like your swatch and reviews and will for sure keep watching, but I love your vlogs because it’s nice knowing that not everything is sunshine and rainbows and I’m not alone 🫶🏻
I’m so glad that you shared this vlog! I feel down more often in the winter months, too! This was great for me to hear that we are NOT alone in our struggles. You are amazing and for sure, I am here for you anytime you need to vent or just chat🥰Do whatever you think will help you most…love you and your honest videos 🤗❤️
I’m a therapist who has struggled to find a therapist I connect to so I definitely get how exhausting that process can be.
It sounds like it’s been a really hard year and no one can excel at life when we’re trying to survive really hard things. I hope this coming year is full of compassion, safety and healing 💛
You don't owe us anything Kelli, take your time and if you don't want to talk about things then don't. You are doing an amazing job and I love your content x
Warning: Long lol. I hate that you’ve gone through all of this. Don’t feel like you have to share details about anything unless YOU want to. Whatever is comfortable for you. I think it does help sometimes to put things out there because inevitably someone else is going to relate to it or find that they’re not alone in their own issues and that’s pretty cool really. Definitely brings your community closer together. It has been a difficult year all around. I, myself, absolutely relate to what you’re saying completely. I started 2023 with a car accident that totaled my car and fully traumatized me. It wasn’t my fault and I thankfully came out of it without any serious physical injuries, but through all the CT scans and xrays at the ER...I found out about problems I didn’t even know I had. It’s been overwhelming and terrifying....and expensive. I’ve never had so many ER visits in my life. My poor brother had to call 911 one day after I got home from work and paramedics and firefighters had to literally extract me from my car in my own driveway because I was practically paralyzed (extreme reaction to a medication). It was so humiliating and embarrassing. Over the summer I dealt with a completely different medical issue that was the most painful I’ve ever had and sadly the doctor “treating” me could not have been worse. I think a blind rat would have done better. It’s ridiculous when you feel like you can’t even trust educated medical professionals. And the career I’ve had for almost 20 years is deteriorating due to so many factors I can’t even describe them all. My 13 year relationship with my partner/boyfriend ended, as well. So let me tell you..we deserve a better 2024 and by golly...we better get it!! Lol Sorry. I know I wrote a novel. I just felt like sharing and want you to know you’re not alone in your thoughts and feelings. Yes, good things have happened, but that does not make the bad any less valid. You’re so very loved, respected, and admired! Keep on truckin’, Miss Kelli. We got your back! ❤
I think if you're not ready to share your personal life, don't feel bad about it or like you have to share. We have to keep apart of ourselves private and that is perfectly fine! Especially health issues. I hope you'll be able to find a good balance and know it'll take time. Try to not be so hard on yourself!!
It’s ok to be not ok or struggling. I love the fact that you are open and honest about your life and what is going on. Finding a therapist is hard but I am sure you will find the right one that will listen and help you. Don’t stress about your channel we will be here for you. We want you to be better and feel better and that’s all that matters. Just take small steps one day at a time. That’s all any of us can do. I know for me this year has been a struggle with my health and life in general. All I can suggest is to just take a quiet moment each day just to breathe it can be as short as five minutes or longer but just take that moment to breathe and relax and know that you are loved and it will all be ok.
Hi Kelli! Keep on searching, keep on waking up and fighting. You’re an amazing person, and we and many others enjoy hanging out with you ❤ As someone who did struggle a lot this year with her mental health, sometimes we have to be ok with not being ok. BUT, As long as we keep on doing what we can, finding whatever works, and taking it one day at a time, it’ll all be ok. Also, on the therapist part, keep searching. You’ll find someone who will make you feel comfortable and help you. We’re here for you ❤
Sending you a virtual hug! I think it's great that you share...it not only helps you feel seen and heard but definitely connects with others. I know you want to get back to your old self...but maybe you can get back to things you love but create a new you as well. :) I didn't get into nail polish until this year and so I wasn't following you before...I didn't know anything was up but I'm sad to hear you're not at a good spot. I hope you find a great therapist eventually and get to a sense of peace again. I love your channel so much. You have made me a huge fan of nail polish!
Take your time and be gentle with yourself. We are our own worst critics, but you're doing wonderfully. Vibing with a therapist is so important, and it takes a lot of time to get that sometimes. Avoid places like better help (online) and it's okay to be picky. It's just exhausting, and I totally get that. I had to go through 5 therapists before I found someone I felt I could be vulnerable with. You can do this, you're kicking ass!!
Oh gosh thank you 🩷 I hope the next one is the right fit hah! I did end up trying one of those online places and you're right, it was a mistake! Just a money drain for someone who wouldn't even set up an appointment for me lol 🙈
You are not alone. It has been difficult for many of us this year. Keep moving toward those goals be they health or work or personal. However small the step, if it's forward, it's progress. We got ya, girl. ❤
I remember earlier this year I commented to your Facebook page (you doing nails stuff). I remember commenting to your then last post wondering how come there’s no posts any more. Apparently you were going through difficult time. I’m so glad you came through and I’m glad to see your posts again. I hope and sending you best wishes to you that 2024 will be a better and more positive year for you and your mental health. Thank you for being genuine and honest with your struggle. We all have our battle to deal with. Take time to heal. You don’t have to share everything if you are not ready. You don’t owe us any explanation. However, we are all here for you if and when you feel like sharing.
Caudalie is an incredible high end French brand. Fragranced so yes, avoid the eyes. The spry is really nice in the summer. Enjoy them!
As someone who’s previous WORK situation was extremely toxic, and I LIVED where I worked (university residence life, iykyk), I can completely understand your mental state. I started a new job/moved November 2022, and it was SO GOOD once I was able to let that go.
Therapy definitely helped, so I wish you the best in finding someone you can connect with. I’d recommend my therapist but I’m in a completely different time zone 😂
just know it will get better!!!
Thank you for your transparency, it helps so much to know that we are all going through similar experiences together.
I am also in an unstable living situation and it has degraded my mental health and the consistency of my self care. I feel exhausted all the time tbh.
I just try to remember that these challenges are temporary and the pain from them will pass. I try to see where I need to heal and where I am being triggered. I remember that we are a planet in a solar system in a galaxy in the universe and that makes me feel peaceful.
I love your videos! Its great to have on when I'm doing everyday stuff. And your rambles are not rambling but a thought process. Its a fun ride!
Just take one day at a time. I completely understand. I don't like this time change either; especially since it gets dark earlier. 2023 has been horrible for me too. I think it has been a long hard year. Yes stress can not only affect your mental health. It always works on the physical health. Prayers and blessings!😢 working out is good I've been trying to get that negative energy off and away from me. You deserve a better year
I'm looking for 2024 to be better for me too. Stay strong. Keep looking for a therapist
You don't owe anyone your life experiences! Being here for a vlog is just about sharing the same space with others. I love listening to people as I crochet. Thanks for sharing the space with us!
Hey Kelli. Sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with mental health and other health issues. Feeling unsafe at home is a horrible thing. You don’t have to explain anything to us but you can share if or when you’re ready. Hope you find a great therapist soon and maybe you should before you share your stories. Be well ❤️
Aw, Door County. I grew up in Milwaukee so Door County was a place for many a summer trip. It so beautiful.
Your point about perfume is how I am about nail polish. I need to just wear it for me even if my own mental health and chronic pain keep me from leaving the house.
Kelli I totally understand about the living situation and the therapy situation . I had a similar sort of living situation a few years back and eberything you said about how you feel is exactly how I felt - kind of hollowed out by it all. It took me quite a while after it ended to 'cool down' from it, so don't feel bad if it takes longer than you expect. I hope your new house is everything you hoped for and that you can really make it your own. That definitely helped me in my situation.
I also think a Vlogmas post every couple of days is plenty - we'll be here for whatever kind of posting suits you best amd fits your life right now❤
You are so loved Kelli, we will be here for you, always. I can relate hard to not being able to find a therapist that I click with, even though I need some professional help. Trust that the right people and situations will be placed in front of you. Distancing yourself is coming from a place of self preservation and you’re doing your best. Best can be different every day. Today’s 100% might be tomorrow’s 40% and it’s still our best. Please give yourself some love and grace while you move through the rough spots. Sending you lots of love and light. ❤
Kelli, you DON'T have to explain anything medical, personal, or otherwise to us. You DID make a point it wasn’t rambling, it was helpful though. My husband, 3 kids and myself have been living in stressful home environments having to live with family for years and I understand where you're coming from. We finally have our own space and I just have felt OFF for months since July when we moved. I thought once we had our place, I'd be up and running and super happy. The opposite was true and I couldn't understand why because I'm so grateful our environment is ours now and peaceful. I believe once the trauma, and stress was over, that's when my body and brain was just like...time out dude I need to re set and rest. I can process it now, but that takes time. It also explains why I am exhausted and do things so slowly- because I'm not rushing to do things in an anxiety and adrenaline induced state constantly. There's a book named The Body Keeps the Score about trauma and healing I have no plans to read it because it sounds triggering but the title pretty much sums up what I feel. My body has just been through so much stress for so long it needs to catch up, my mind as well needs to get used to the new normal of calm and working in that type of environment. Anyway all that to say thanks for sharing, it helped me take a step back to reflect on myself and examine why I have been struggling and why it's OK to not be running on all cylinders right now while I heal. ❤ Sending you love and prayers.
I had a similar experience with therapists. It took me 3 tries with different Licensed Social Workers before I found the most awesome Psychologist! Don't get discouraged - you will find the right person. If you have tried LSWs, maybe look into a Psychologist! I hope you find happiness and healing soon! 💝
I'm so sorry you have been going through so much. Don't worry about us. Take care of yourself first. We'll still be here. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤
Hi Kelli, thank you for sharing! Im sorry it has been such a difficult year. But please dont put pressure on yourself to post as much as you plan to. Your mental health is the most important think. Its hard to find a therpist that clicks. But I really believe you are doing the right thing-no therapist is better than one that doesn't feel right! Please rest and breathe and take it easy!❤❤
Oh honey my heart breaks for you. I hope you find the right person to talk to and know that we are always here for you. I love watching anything you post at whatever rate is healthy for you. Here’s hoping that 2024 is the best year ever! ❤
i am doing exactly the same thing with my perfume. For most of the past year I have been wearing them everyday. I also love samples. 💖 I feel you completely. May we both have a good year next year and hit our strive to be proactive. Sending you good vibes and big virtual hugs. We will all be here for you if you need us.
I just discovered your main channel a month ago and I'm almost caught up on your vlogs lol. I relate so hard to so many big and small things you've talked about. Thanks for sharing. You have been dealing with SO much. I'm so happy for your house and marriage though. I wish all good things for you this year. 💜
I am a huge proponent of having people get things out of their system to help healing. That being said, I respect you and don't want you to feel like you have to share everything online. The internet can be a scary place and sometimes things that are intensely personal don't need to be shared. We'll be here for you no matter what! I love watching your videos and often watch them while I'm doing something else. Hopefully, 2024 will be WAY better than 2023 was for you!
Take care of yourself! Really looking forward to seeing day 5 polish as a mani!😊
I saw the same counselor for over 6 years, then he retired. 😢 So I bounced around seeing lots of different counselors for years. Finally found another good fit. Saw her for a year and a half and then she retired...So she recommended that I try group counseling...so I did. The first few sessions went well. After that it all went down hill and I would strongly recommend not doing this!! Now I haven't seen anyone for most of the year and am in a good headspace. So you do whatever you need to do to find the person that is the right fit for you. It will get better 😊
Sounds like we are dealing with similar situations. I hope we can both find a good fit therapist soon, I know it really helps my mental health even just to know that a professional I connect with is able to help me through situations if I need them!
For special anything like perfume use it whenever you want because it makes you feel nice, and why not since it only lasts so long. Mental exhaustion is tough to deal with when it's a vicious cycle that never really gets resolved as more things get added to it. And you've had so much going on so hopefully you can connect with care provider soon that will help you resolve what you can now and work with you on everything else that need more time. Please be kind to yourself like you would for the special people in your life, and sending you healing vibes.
Completely understand how your feeling, I got told I am too ill for nhs in England to help me with my mental health, esp with such a complex physical health as well.
One thing that may help you is a SAD light.
❤🙏🌺🌸🌻 Hang in there kiddo! We care about you!
Thank you Irene ❤️❤️
I think 2023 was really a year of settling into a new normal and that has been hard because I think that a lot of people are trying to get back to their pre-2020 selves. I know that a lot changed for me between 2020 and now and I am also struggling with it. Every time I take a step in the right direction I really do try to celebrate it. And I also have screamy cry times when the bad times come. I wish I would take my own advice but I'm here to give it again, a journal is a really good way to see how far you've come. I know that helps me. Good luck, I am hoping you don't have to wait for 2024 for things to start looking up. And for anyone else having a tough time, it gets better, or so I've heard. Let's get to that better :)
Sending hugs and thanks for your openness and kindness to us and yourself 💗💗💗
Thank you so much ❤️
Ok so first of all, re finding the right therapist - I've been in the same boat. Most recently my therapist spent a good 45 minutes talking TO ME about herself. She loves decorating for christmas, has 4 christmas trees (showed me photos), wants more, has a cat, no kids, takes l-thianine snd ltryptophan to help her get what she needs to get done and it also reset her circadian rhythm, etc. Before that she would drag her feet snd walk around in a daze all day. Yeah, after that 3rd session I realized no one should know their therapist that well. Lol. I felt bad because she was really sweet and i felt that she really needed to vent.
Have you ever tried "somatic exercises?" I tried them a few days ago and OmGsh, they worked for me. I went from being near tears, but unsble to cry, to feeling pretty relaxed. My issues also felt overwhelming before the exercises , but manageable after. I've been doing them every night and in the morning and though it is very slight i notice a few things with my health have started to improve.
The first one i did was one where you put your hands like a bird, where you cross your thumbs and place hands on chest. I think they called it an angel hug... Anyway, you alternate tapping on each side of your chest. It was such a slight gentle movement, but the response for me was intense. I still didnt cry, but after felt drained, and almost defeated. The next morning i was so so much better.
Maybe something like that could help least help bring clarity.❤
Oh my goodness! You described my mental health struggle to a T!! Everything is a struggle for me. I am there with you! I am in tears right now.
I'm sorry to hear you're going through it too, but it is nice to know we aren't alone in our struggles ❤️ I know 2024 will bring us some peace and well deserved happiness!!
@@KelliMarissaVlogs yes! I believe it! Much love to you!
Sharing IS caring. Knowing others have a clue what’s going on in our lives does relieve some of the stress we carry, and we all can relate cause everybody has stuff. I’m sure I’m not alone when I say we love you exactly as you are, right now, even with whatever messy stuff complicates life. It’s all part of what makes you your best self, though sometimes going through it to get there is tough. Keep striving for your happiest self, while knowing you are pretty wonderful right now, and we’ll just keep loving you. ❤️
BABY STEPS SWEETIE YOU CAN DO IT ALL OF THIS WILL DEFINITELY GET BETTER WE ALL LOVE YOU ❤️ 😍 💖 ❣️ 💕
I have had a rough year too. I started therapy for the first time in my life. I'm 52. I understand how hard it is to get started because I had thought about doing it for years.
Don't be hard on yourself or feel like you owe us anything.
You are so relatable and have never come across as anything but real. That is why I watch you! I hope things get better for you, and with your health. Please take time for yourself and don't feel guilty about it. ❤
girl omg i have.... like 3 baggies of samples LOL i buy a lot from indie brands and samples are my faaave especially bc i love variety too! i try to wear perfume daily even chillin at home and am also trying to get into the mindset of "if i enjoy it, just use it" bc youre so right it will probably go bad eventually!! also i have definitely been feeling like my mental and physical health hasn't been the greatest this year either.. idk what it is with 2023 but whew i wish us all healing and health in the coming year
Please take the time to do what you need to heal. While we adore your posts, you need to do what's best for you. ❤❤❤
Sorry to hear you've been struggling so much 😢
I can totally relate to health issues, I've been waiting 3 years now to have a medical issue diagnosed with hopefully a cure, but despite seeing doctors haven't really progressed under a new one now so fingers crossed.
I think we all have that useless feeling when things aren't on track, but with our inner strength we soldier on and i know that's what you've been doing so you should be proud of yourself for that, take the pressure off, do work wise what you are comfortable with and just try & relax some more, have some Kelli time & don't feel guilty about it, tell yourself it's another type of therapy, listen to your body, it knows!
Fingers crossed it will improve for you real soon.
Great vlog as always Kelli thank you ❤x
So you were so right about day 5 lacquer that is totally wow love it ❤
Day 6 looks interesting as well
Take care Kelli & look forward to more content as & when you can, take care ❤xxx
take your time... we're here for you! small steps are the biggest and best for you. and I think you should swatch all the nails polish at end of advent calendar on you other channel. that would be a cool idea. :)
We can't unsee the scotch tape leggings now 🤣 Awww Kelli.... I am sorry about your unsafe living situation beginning of the year... I hope you do find the right person to help you mentally. LOVE that you are so open and honest with us all. We are all here to support you in any way we can. Please don't apologize. The people who supports you will understand.
You are an adorable person, Kelli! I love everything you do and share with us. Each video is a part of your heart. Don't pressure yourself about anything. Wishing you and Ryan a wonderful holiday season! ✨🎄❤️
Wanted to say that jumping from therapist to therapist is 100% normal. I guess I’m being vulnerable by saying this, but I’ve been in therapy for about 10 years now and I can totally understand where you’re coming from. I’ve had to trial different therapists too. Aww my cat has just come and sat on my chest to comfort me ❤. It’s not easy. I think persevering when you’re not sure of a therapist is important - sometimes our first impressions don’t accurately show what that therapist is like or what they can offer us. Obviously, some therapists it’s totally clear when they’re not the right fit, but when you’re unsure of a therapist (as in you’re 50/50 ok with them), sometimes it is good to give them a chance. Sending positive vibes! Love you and your videos, you do an amazing job!!
Yeah to be totally honest it took me years to find a good one in the first place haha, I've probably seen over 30 therapists in my lifetime 🙈 I usually give them a chance but the three most recent ones were truly wild and out of pocket - either saying straight up offensive things (not "hard truths" or anything like that, I mean actually being racist etc lol) or giving advice that I truly believe would make my mental health worse (one therapist kept telling me I was subconsciously insecure about my body, which I'm not, and therefore I should get a boob job to feel better about myself, which is something I'm not personally interested in doing nor did I bring it up, and I have no idea why she kept pushing for thaf during my appointment). I know there are amazing ones out there but my gosh, it's a weird world out there LOL
Pretty sure I also have seen 30+ therapists 😂 It’s so hard to not give up haha. Um yea, sometimes there are major therapist duds out there 🤣😭😩 I only see therapists that take my insurance, unless they have a special situation where I work with a psychologist who is learning from the head psychologist and there’s a discount. I personally like using Psychology Today to search for therapists to get an idea of what each of them offer. But yea, those therapists don’t sound like good ones 😂
This has been a tough year for me too. Between dealing with chronic illness and mental health, it's been hard. I did find an amazing art therapist this year that was incredibly helpful for my mental health, but had to stop due to finances. I understand the struggle to find a good therapist too. I went through years of trying and giving up before I found the best one for me.
I hope you know we are all here for you and take all the time you need for yourself! I'm sorry it's been a hard, but know that you aren't alone 💜
Also, I loved the Once Upon A Broken Heart trilogy! Both the OUABH trillogy and the Caraval trilogy are some of my favorites!
I understand completely how you feel. I was struggling with the basics as well, getting up, feeding myself, getting through the day took everything out of me. I had no energy for anything else. I was on survival mode. I do have a wonderful therapist who, after other things I shared with her, recommended a psychiatrist who put me on a low dose of an antidepressant. It's been over a month and I think the meds are working because I do feel better. And, I continue to see my therapist once a week or every two weeks; it depends on my schedule. I do recommend you try to find a new therapist. I was lucky and found a great one, but I know it takes a few tries for other people. Don't give up, keep up the search until you find the right fit. I hope your mental health improves soon, it sucks to be in that state. Take the time you need off vlogging, don't pressure yourself with things you don't have to worry about. Your community is here to support you and if you need to take some time, we will be here if and when you decide to come back.
I hope 2024 is better for you Kelli! I'll say a prayer for you!! Hang in there!
❤❤❤Take care of yourself. You are so beautiful. Inside and out. You’ve allowed us into your life which is so amazing. You’re like a friend I’ve never meet but care about. I wish I could hug you. And be there for you. I’m A great listener. Here for you. Please don’t apologize. You are far more open and such a great person. Praying for you. ❤❤
Never feel bad for not sharing things when you aren’t ready to share. You are never obligated to share your personal details with us. We will support you no matter what. Wishing you all the best in starting this next year with a great therapist, with love and joy for the things you enjoy, and most of all, answers for your medical mystery (the unknown is very stressful and even with a diagnosis, not having a treatment plan that works is frustrating and disheartening. As someone who has lived with migraines for over half my life, it can be super frustrating, depressing, and discouraging when the migraines change and stop responding to treatments and you have to go through the trials of finding something that works.)