What I LOVE about your journey is it shows that two people may not be meant for forever together in marriage, but can still help each other grow in love and move towards a brighter future together. This is so inspiring, I came from a family that ALWAYS saw an end as a failure, and it taught me a lot of bad behaviors I needed to unlearn in adulthood. Thank you for modeling a healthier way to be 🙂
Thanks, you two. Most of us only see angry breakups/divorces. Thanks for not sugarcoating how hard it is, but showing how to part as ACTUAL friends! Something brings people together in the first place and honoring that and not being bitter and angry is such a great example.
It's disheartening to see how many people in the comments continue to be so unnecessary mean to Alicia and keep jumping to conclusions regarding their divorce. While some of it may come from a place of concern for Jonathan, I do not think that he would want others to be so unkind to the person he considers family and clearly respects deeply. I also think it's pretty rude considering that they share a very intimate and personal part of their lives with us in the hopes of helping others. I for one find Alicia's videos thought-provoking and her views on life intriguing as she sees so many things differently than I do. Yet as a woman (who keeps suppressing the closer side of her personality), I can relate to so many of her experiences. I believe she's already said in a video before that she's been self-sacrificing to the point of self-betrayal. That really stuck with me and ever since that I've been trying to catch myself falling into this habit. I completely understand where she's coming from as it tends to be most women's experience in life, made worse by relationships where there are different maturity levels. Lastly, I must add that it's a breath of fresh air to see a mature woman being unapologetically herself and not succumbing to self-blame and shame. All in all, I think Alicia is a great role model and I'm looking forward to see more of her videos.
I couldn’t agree more. I feel much the same way as Alicia does and I think it’s unbelievably inconsiderate for people to verbally attack her regardless of their personal feelings. Alicia and Jono most definitely do not have to share this part of their life. Public scrutiny comes with its own set of problems. I really appreciate Alicia’s videos specifically as I’m on my own healing journey just as an individual and her insight is one that I value very much.
I’ll raise my hand and admit that I was one of those people-though I never left a comment about Alicia, because I don’t believe in being mean or judgmental in discourse BUT in my heart I DID blame her because I was so devastated. I had been watching their marriage series together when they announced it, and I was so upset that I couldn’t finish the rest of the videos. In my mind, they were champions of working throughout their opposites in marriage and then (because I hadn’t gotten far the series) their announcement hit me out of the left field. It felt like I would continue the series for nothing. (I know this is not true, but obviously I was distraught) In addition, it bothered me how in the series, Jono would be very vulnerable and share an authentic struggle and take FULL responsibility for everything going wrong and Alicia would sit there like “yeah, these are things you struggle with” and let him beat himself up and she would hardly ever do the same with herself, as if everything was Jono’s doing. It felt one-sided as if Jono would apologize for all his mistakes but she was somehow immune to making mistakes. (I say this without having watched the entirety of their series) So my mind automatically started concluding, “well, she’s been married before, who is the common denominator in both marriages ending?” and “men rarely RARELY initiate divorce, so it must have been her because she has stated before that she had envisioned a different life with traveling the world, and Jono has a humble occupation” and so forth. I have great respect for Alicia and she and I are super similar in mentality and temperament, so this is probably a “mirror reflection” of things that I do not like in myself. I do feel that Jono is more authentic and raw and gutted about the divorce. Alicia is more guarded about revealing vulnerability, even in this video. It’s like she’s moved on. And that’s ok. I’m glad she made this, even if it was more on the superficial side (edit: VAGUE, not superficial, is what I meant). It’s her life and her privacy and we shouldn’t be speculating. ❤
I'm a little perterbed by the comments asking Alicia to "take more responsibility" as if her self-sacrofice to the point of self-betrayal was not a big enough issue all on its own. No one has to be a villain in order to be their own antagonist. If their marriage was fostering an environment that was fracturing their sense of self and threatening their integrity, why isn't that enough of a reason to admit it was unsustainable? They are still friends and co-parents and business partners. But for whatever reason, being married was bringing a dynamic that was not healthy nor sustainable. Jono and Alicia chose to be together in a way that would help them remain whole as individuals.
I've known this channel for years but since the divorce I'm an even bigger fan (that sounds bad), but let me explain. You strike me as super integer and honest, because even though you two are relationship experts, you did the hard and brave thing. Huge respect for discussing "What's the healthiest version of our relationship?" and then realizing it. Takes so much guts!
This must be a really vulnerable thing to share and I just want to say thank you for your courage and openness. I hope the Internet will be kind and reasonable in its response.
- know you needs - feeling safe to express your needs - leaving the space open for those needs to be met! That last one is so unspoken in it's importance. I'll be able to support a friend with this. That's the part that both of us stumble over, cause somehow we can do exactly that for each other, but ppl around us frequently let both of us hanging with that one (and our neurodiversity!) Thank you, Alicia!!!!
-That's so cool what you said about the Hebrew word for perfection! (Shlemut, I believe.) -Thank you for answering questions/telling your side of things!
I've really appreciated this series. I divorced someone who was very public and often doing projects - it was soul-crushingly exhausting to be the invisible support essentially single-parenting while married, watching all my dreams fall to the wayside for years because all resources were diverted to my partner with none left over for me. Not saying that this is yall, but that listening to both of you has been helpful in my healing of that experience. I would have liked for my divorce to have been as amicable as yours, and it's nice to see you're friends and supporting each other 💛
First, thank you, Alicia, for being open to answering questions that you're comfortable with. I'm going into my third divorce right now. Alicia's response to that first question is perfect. Every relationship we have teaches us something new, whether it be a marriage or other kind of relationship. To be humble enough to accept that truth is both fantastic and healing. Also, I very much love the phrase "self-sacrificing to the point of self-betrayal." This is something that I've recently realized I have been doing in my relationships, and it's going to take a lot of work and effort to not continue doing that whenever my next relationship happens.
First of all, you have my support. I have been through two divorces and I’m about to get married again in a few months. There are those who may snicker and claim that I am the “only common denominator” but that would be a gross misrepresentation of what happened, since both relationships were so different and the way they ended was so different. I did not anticipate ever marrying again, but my partner proposed unexpectedly and marriage is very important to him. I 100% do not see this relationship going down the same path as the last one. Additionally, I’ve learned so much more about how to love and be loved and how to be a supportive partner this time around.
@NoraGuy Thank you for your empathy and understanding. Both are truly appreciated. Congrats on your upcoming wedding, as well! I wish you and your fiance all the best ❤.
Alicia, you and your ex are both the loveliest. There was some good advice here. I especially like what you said about knowing your needs and creating space for them. The respect and graciousness you have for each other in this difficult time is heartwarming. I'm glad you make these videos despite the less kind comments that seem to be projecting onto you and Jonathan. As you know, they tell you nothing about who you actually are. All my respect to you both.
As a non religious, non traditional person, understanding all of this feels intuitive. I don't have a sense of "responsibility" to marriage as an institution & so it's fine if you all see more fulfillment in the relationship & family via living separate (romantically). I think there's value showing these relationships that are successful in a non-nuclear/non-traditional way. Really, the narrative that you need a romantic partnership to survive life & to raise children is probably exaggerated.
I like that you include the Hebrew Scripture in this. One other interesting fact about that quote is that in Greek, which the New Testament, where Jesus says that, is written in, it is actually not a command, as all translations I've read claim, but future tense - "you will become perfect". I noticed that when we were translating the Sermon of the Mount a few years ago. Also, the future tense form of that verb is a deponent, meaning it is the same in passive form as in active form, so it can just as well mean "you will be made perfect". So, we are not expected to be able to become perfect here and now, but in Christ's future kingdom we will be perfected ... That's a releaving thing to know ❤
I appreciate this video, though i wish your answers weren't so vague! I understand why they have to be, however. I'm glad the two of you can demonstrate what healthy divorce looks like.
I had that thought for a second aswell but then I thought about my own journey and it's so huge and nuanced and full of detail, it would never be possible to explain that with words.
Is there really 0 way to prevent marriage that will end in divorce and to prevent marriage where you end up keeping enduring it just for the sake of not divorcing? Is it truly unpreventable and unpredictable? My friend wants to get married and have kids, but he says he got severely physiclly abused by his father and both physically and verbally bullied during high school to university years. He said it once that he's afraid that he will not make in a married life. Is he just realistic or too pessimistic?
I believe Jonathan mentioned the book “How to avoid falling in love with a jerk” in some of their previous videos on their divorce. I believe that book is really good one, because behind the catchy title one of the first things it encourages is to know your own self deeply and intimately with the traumas, needs and painful spots, and if possible to explore those before marriage with a therapist. Your friend is already on a good path if he knows his weaknesses and traumas, maybe he needs some help in making sure that he has the tools to handle things if those traumas are triggered? Maybe that’s something he can work on, which can give him more confidence as he starts dating and looks for love and partner. As for the marriage lasting… unfortunately I don’t think you can guarantee it. It also depends on how the other would handle it and whether they themselves are willing to know themselves and work on traumas or painful dynamics. There’s a channel here on YT called “Jimmy on relationships” and there is one video about 7 signs that you’ve found the one, if I remember correctly. Right off the bat he dismisses the concept of “the one” and then he talks about how to make it work. And a quote I really love from that video is about the willingness to work on the relationship and go to therapy, that one sign that that’s the right person if they can answer positively to the questions “But will you be willing to come to therapy with me and to work on it even if you think that I am the problem?” And I find that really beautiful and really a good sign. It still may not work out but hopefully it won’t be destructive to one or both parties!
Dear Alicia and dear Jonathan, Thank you for sharing your stories. I’ve been listening to your videos for maybe nearing 2 years and they have been a source of inspiration and strength many times. I just wanted to thank you and to say that it was incredibly brave of you to stay in the relationship when it was too painful to handle. Our close relationships are the ones in the most delicate position and are unfortunately the ones that have the greatest potential to hurt us. It really takes a lot of courage and resilience to stand up and confront that pain time after time and day after day and not break the relationship. Thanks for sharing both of your points of view. They are indeed very helpful and both of you are amazing people! I am learning a lot from both of you and what I love the most about your videos is how from your different perspectives they encourage us to be our authentic selves with all the flows and strengths with dignity! 😊
@@icysims5257 yes. They said they've done the work when doing the videos for this channel (I still don't understand how people doing videos with the theme of this channel don't go to a couple therapist to sort out the issues, but hey, maybe I'm the one in the wrong) and arrived at the conclusion they want to remain friends
I didn't even woch the video. It's probably just a reflection of how I'm feeling right now but if even good people get divorced why bother starting relationships why try?
Thanks for sharing you two's personal stories. But ... I just think you are failing to level with us, and also, you are not actually allowing Jono to express what are his real feelings. Because to be blunt, there is no evidence there is any person with whom you will ever feel satisfied with growing old together. At this point, you have probably tried every one of you two's theory of personality types with the same result. That would have been the honest thing to say to Jono when you two first started dating, the admission that for you, marriage is not forever, and that someday, some year, you will no longer be married to that person. That is simply the empirical fact of your life so far. Also just listening to Jono, objectively, you were the best thing that ever happened to him. It is striking how in Jono's videos he is always saying how he screwed this up, such as not letting you be the breadwinner, having a porn addiction, etc. But Jono went from someone who could not focus to having finished his degrees to become a licensed therapist, with his own practice and sharing this business with you, because of the assistance and discipline you helped him with. And he got to have kids with you and will have you to at least co-parent them into adulthood. What seems to me that is being obviously denied to Jono is the ability for him to admit that continuing to be married to you as both of you grow old would also have been the best thing to happen to him in the future, as long as he could figure out to let you travel around the world for business for maybe months at time while he holds down the fort at home. Jono is, for the brand of you two's business, not being allowed to actually admit loss that he did not will to happen. It has to be sold as a mutual decision, when the logic is the complete opposite, that you simply decided it was time to go, and nothing Jono could say or do would change that. In presenting what I think is simply a false picture of your divorce, you are denying to a huge percentage of people a reflection on the fundamental tragedy of romance, the longing to be with someone forever who does not return that affection, that level of commitment. You are denying a fundamental truth of the human condition.
Jono here, as I read and respont to RUclips comments more than Alicia does. I appreciate you sharing your perspectives, though I must say many of these conclusions are incorrect and even hurtful to a person I still consider family. I've got a busy few days ahead, but I will circle back to clarify in detail when I can.
I'm not going to address everything you've said here because I don't really feel it's my place to do that, but I just wanted to point out that if what you claim were true - if the divorce wasn't truly mutual and they were only presenting it that way for the sake of the brand - it would make absolutely no sense for them to make multiple videos talking about their divorce and their experiences with that. They could have easily made a single announcement post that announced their divorce but said they prefer to keep the details private and left it at that, and they have cultivated an audience that probably would have respected the desire to keep their lives private. In no way did they *have* to talk about their divorce or their experiences for the sake of the brand, and in fact, in some ways it might have been easier to choose *not* to talk about it. If it was all about brand image, they could have easily said we're getting divorced and we ask that you respect our privacy and trust us when we say it was a mutual decision made together. Instead, they did the harder thing and chose to share their story - opening their personal lives to speculation like your comment here - in the hopes that it might help others out there.
We don’t know every detail of what happened in their marriage-nor should we. It’s’ remarkable that they’re sharing what they are. I imagine in any divorce or relationship difficulty there are things which should not be shared because it would simply be tossing one person under the bus and into the court of public opinion in a way that would not be healthy and could not be a part of a respectful friendship after the fact. Therefore, we will never have the information required to adequately judge their relationship, if it was even appropriate for us to do it in the first place (it’s not). I know it’s hard not to take sides and it’s so very human to want to defend SOMEONE and want to place blame somewhere, but that is 100% not our job. Only they, the ones inside the marriage, can really ever know what happened. The fact that are carefully sharing part of it is amazing and an honor for those of us witnessing it. It offers us perspective and assistance in our own relationships we may not otherwise have. But you have to see it for what it is and not stay in this obsession with having certainty around a story that isn’t yours-any certainty you believe you have is going to be completely made up based on your need, and not the truth. Take a deep breath. Be at peace. You get to be the judge of your own relationships friend, not theirs.
I agree with all of these comments to a small degree, from what I have watched and heard from an outside prospective the main comment was a similar view that I had but not as aggressive or bias due to we don’t understand the situation. They might have shared what they are going through and how to be co parents but the only videos I’ve seen anyone owning up to their mistakes or blame is Jono. For me I feel that maybe his wife was badly hurt or dealing with some type of trauma that isn’t allowing her to move forward or heal so her relationships will continue to be the same results till she does some self healing and explore her career opportunities but that isn’t a fact it’s an assumption. As for their reasons of divorce it is very unclear all we know is that they are getting a divorce so it’s Natural we start creating stories in our head to understand why it didn’t work out. Also it’s ok if someone just doesn’t want to be in a relationship even jf there is nothing wrong. Don’t allow our comments or opinions to hurt you, we don’t know any of you and you don’t own us anything. We appreciate the videos even if some of our opinions come off harsh. Some of us are just so damage we could never comprehend a healthy relationship ending because we never even seen a healthy relationship. I as Many people are terribly broken inside and we don’t understand how to communicate. Regardless if I sounded harsh right now I love these videos and am trying to learn to be a kinder person to my family.
The fact that Alicia and Jono have shared as much as they have is something we should be grateful for, as ultimately absolutely none of it is any of our business. They can share as much or as little as they please.
They are not. They are still friends, co-parents to their kids, and business partners. This entire series has been going over how they are going about this. It's very helpful!
You're actually misinterpreting that scripture passage. The passage is a comparative one so you really can't just use one particular term out of context. It says "be ye perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect...". It is commonly taught that God IS without flaw or fault. We are expected to strive for that knowing that God will be the one to get us there since by nature we are flawed human beings. This also correlates later with passages that discuss the concept of purgatory (a state or place of cleansing after death) where a persons works be burned or cleansed. They will be saved as though by fire...but I digress. We are called towards perfection as is more literally understood if you are actually reading it in context of the passage. It's not just a "state of wholeness" since you can be "whole" with flaws. Satan for example is "whole". He just chose to be whole with malice and lies. As an angel given far superior intellect, logic and reason, he knew exactly what he was giving up and what would be his gain. You even see this represented in Milton's Paradise Lost when he remarks that he would rather play first fiddle in hell than 2nd in heaven. Some people do serve themselves via what others would call "wrong doing" and do not see integrity as a value worth pursuing. They are "whole" as far as they are concerned. That is the epitome of selfishness. "My needs, my wants. my desires always come first and that is how things are meant to be".
@@misterwishart No. In fact, Scripture specifically references the dangers of open interpretation. One passage recounts a person being asked if they understood what they were reading and they replied with "how can I understand unless somebody explains it to me", another account specifically says "even if an angel come down and preach anything other than what we have taught let him be anathema (let him be damned). Scripture also specifically warns "reading/interpreting to ones own destruction". It is a specific appeal to a teaching authority. Scripture backs this up by pointing out that the information (for Scripture) is sufficient but that not everything is contained within Scripture. So if you're looking for the "whole message" you need to refer to the mentioned teaching authority.
@TheRindy84 - And when you say that, I assume you are referring to a specific English interpretation of scripture, also interpreted from either Aramaic, Hebrew or Greek?
@@misterwishartplus, most people aren’t learning those interpretations of scripture unless they’re seeking out spiritual guidance from religious authorities.
The amount of respect they have for each other really is staggering and a breath of fresh air in today’s society.
What I LOVE about your journey is it shows that two people may not be meant for forever together in marriage, but can still help each other grow in love and move towards a brighter future together. This is so inspiring, I came from a family that ALWAYS saw an end as a failure, and it taught me a lot of bad behaviors I needed to unlearn in adulthood. Thank you for modeling a healthier way to be 🙂
Thanks, you two. Most of us only see angry breakups/divorces. Thanks for not sugarcoating how hard it is, but showing how to part as ACTUAL friends! Something brings people together in the first place and honoring that and not being bitter and angry is such a great example.
It's disheartening to see how many people in the comments continue to be so unnecessary mean to Alicia and keep jumping to conclusions regarding their divorce. While some of it may come from a place of concern for Jonathan, I do not think that he would want others to be so unkind to the person he considers family and clearly respects deeply. I also think it's pretty rude considering that they share a very intimate and personal part of their lives with us in the hopes of helping others.
I for one find Alicia's videos thought-provoking and her views on life intriguing as she sees so many things differently than I do. Yet as a woman (who keeps suppressing the closer side of her personality), I can relate to so many of her experiences. I believe she's already said in a video before that she's been self-sacrificing to the point of self-betrayal. That really stuck with me and ever since that I've been trying to catch myself falling into this habit. I completely understand where she's coming from as it tends to be most women's experience in life, made worse by relationships where there are different maturity levels.
Lastly, I must add that it's a breath of fresh air to see a mature woman being unapologetically herself and not succumbing to self-blame and shame. All in all, I think Alicia is a great role model and I'm looking forward to see more of her videos.
You have earned a Michael Scott level, "THANK YOU!!!"
a big YESSSS
I couldn’t agree more. I feel much the same way as Alicia does and I think it’s unbelievably inconsiderate for people to verbally attack her regardless of their personal feelings. Alicia and Jono most definitely do not have to share this part of their life. Public scrutiny comes with its own set of problems. I really appreciate Alicia’s videos specifically as I’m on my own healing journey just as an individual and her insight is one that I value very much.
I’ll raise my hand and admit that I was one of those people-though I never left a comment about Alicia, because I don’t believe in being mean or judgmental in discourse BUT in my heart I DID blame her because I was so devastated.
I had been watching their marriage series together when they announced it, and I was so upset that I couldn’t finish the rest of the videos. In my mind, they were champions of working throughout their opposites in marriage and then (because I hadn’t gotten far the series) their announcement hit me out of the left field. It felt like I would continue the series for nothing. (I know this is not true, but obviously I was distraught) In addition, it bothered me how in the series, Jono would be very vulnerable and share an authentic struggle and take FULL responsibility for everything going wrong and Alicia would sit there like “yeah, these are things you struggle with” and let him beat himself up and she would hardly ever do the same with herself, as if everything was Jono’s doing. It felt one-sided as if Jono would apologize for all his mistakes but she was somehow immune to making mistakes. (I say this without having watched the entirety of their series)
So my mind automatically started concluding, “well, she’s been married before, who is the common denominator in both marriages ending?” and “men rarely RARELY initiate divorce, so it must have been her because she has stated before that she had envisioned a different life with traveling the world, and Jono has a humble occupation” and so forth.
I have great respect for Alicia and she and I are super similar in mentality and temperament, so this is probably a “mirror reflection” of things that I do not like in myself.
I do feel that Jono is more authentic and raw and gutted about the divorce. Alicia is more guarded about revealing vulnerability, even in this video. It’s like she’s moved on. And that’s ok. I’m glad she made this, even if it was more on the superficial side (edit: VAGUE, not superficial, is what I meant). It’s her life and her privacy and we shouldn’t be speculating. ❤
Thanks for sharing your story, Alicia. It's incredibly brave to be open and honest about your experiences, and I wish the best for you going forward.
I'm a little perterbed by the comments asking Alicia to "take more responsibility" as if her self-sacrofice to the point of self-betrayal was not a big enough issue all on its own.
No one has to be a villain in order to be their own antagonist. If their marriage was fostering an environment that was fracturing their sense of self and threatening their integrity, why isn't that enough of a reason to admit it was unsustainable?
They are still friends and co-parents and business partners. But for whatever reason, being married was bringing a dynamic that was not healthy nor sustainable. Jono and Alicia chose to be together in a way that would help them remain whole as individuals.
👏 Thank 👏 you 👏
I've known this channel for years but since the divorce I'm an even bigger fan (that sounds bad), but let me explain.
You strike me as super integer and honest, because even though you two are relationship experts, you did the hard and brave thing. Huge respect for discussing "What's the healthiest version of our relationship?" and then realizing it. Takes so much guts!
This must be a really vulnerable thing to share and I just want to say thank you for your courage and openness. I hope the Internet will be kind and reasonable in its response.
- know you needs
- feeling safe to express your needs
- leaving the space open for those needs to be met!
That last one is so unspoken in it's importance. I'll be able to support a friend with this. That's the part that both of us stumble over, cause somehow we can do exactly that for each other, but ppl around us frequently let both of us hanging with that one (and our neurodiversity!)
Thank you, Alicia!!!!
-That's so cool what you said about the Hebrew word for perfection! (Shlemut, I believe.)
-Thank you for answering questions/telling your side of things!
I've really appreciated this series. I divorced someone who was very public and often doing projects - it was soul-crushingly exhausting to be the invisible support essentially single-parenting while married, watching all my dreams fall to the wayside for years because all resources were diverted to my partner with none left over for me. Not saying that this is yall, but that listening to both of you has been helpful in my healing of that experience.
I would have liked for my divorce to have been as amicable as yours, and it's nice to see you're friends and supporting each other 💛
First, thank you, Alicia, for being open to answering questions that you're comfortable with.
I'm going into my third divorce right now. Alicia's response to that first question is perfect. Every relationship we have teaches us something new, whether it be a marriage or other kind of relationship. To be humble enough to accept that truth is both fantastic and healing.
Also, I very much love the phrase "self-sacrificing to the point of self-betrayal." This is something that I've recently realized I have been doing in my relationships, and it's going to take a lot of work and effort to not continue doing that whenever my next relationship happens.
First of all, you have my support. I have been through two divorces and I’m about to get married again in a few months. There are those who may snicker and claim that I am the “only common denominator” but that would be a gross misrepresentation of what happened, since both relationships were so different and the way they ended was so different.
I did not anticipate ever marrying again, but my partner proposed unexpectedly and marriage is very important to him. I 100% do not see this relationship going down the same path as the last one. Additionally, I’ve learned so much more about how to love and be loved and how to be a supportive partner this time around.
@NoraGuy Thank you for your empathy and understanding. Both are truly appreciated. Congrats on your upcoming wedding, as well! I wish you and your fiance all the best ❤.
Alicia, you and your ex are both the loveliest. There was some good advice here. I especially like what you said about knowing your needs and creating space for them. The respect and graciousness you have for each other in this difficult time is heartwarming. I'm glad you make these videos despite the less kind comments that seem to be projecting onto you and Jonathan. As you know, they tell you nothing about who you actually are. All my respect to you both.
As a non religious, non traditional person, understanding all of this feels intuitive. I don't have a sense of "responsibility" to marriage as an institution & so it's fine if you all see more fulfillment in the relationship & family via living separate (romantically). I think there's value showing these relationships that are successful in a non-nuclear/non-traditional way. Really, the narrative that you need a romantic partnership to survive life & to raise children is probably exaggerated.
I'm sure his video is great, but we don't often hear from you on your own, so I'll watch this one first.
I like that you include the Hebrew Scripture in this. One other interesting fact about that quote is that in Greek, which the New Testament, where Jesus says that, is written in, it is actually not a command, as all translations I've read claim, but future tense - "you will become perfect". I noticed that when we were translating the Sermon of the Mount a few years ago. Also, the future tense form of that verb is a deponent, meaning it is the same in passive form as in active form, so it can just as well mean "you will be made perfect". So, we are not expected to be able to become perfect here and now, but in Christ's future kingdom we will be perfected ... That's a releaving thing to know ❤
Thank you for being who you are.
Thank you Alicia for sharing your wisdom.❤
You have inspired me to be a better person.
It takes time to heal. Even when we are the ones that want out. Just accept that there is a grieving period we go through like any human being has to.
You are such a role model❤❤ both of you!☺️🌞
I appreciate this video, though i wish your answers weren't so vague! I understand why they have to be, however. I'm glad the two of you can demonstrate what healthy divorce looks like.
I had that thought for a second aswell but then I thought about my own journey and it's so huge and nuanced and full of detail, it would never be possible to explain that with words.
Is there really 0 way to prevent marriage that will end in divorce and to prevent marriage where you end up keeping enduring it just for the sake of not divorcing? Is it truly unpreventable and unpredictable?
My friend wants to get married and have kids, but he says he got severely physiclly abused by his father and both physically and verbally bullied during high school to university years. He said it once that he's afraid that he will not make in a married life. Is he just realistic or too pessimistic?
I love this question! And you're friend seems to at least be very self aware which is a good starting point for a marriage
Tell him to go therapy and keep going while he’s married.
There IS a way to prevent a marriage that ends in divorce! Don't get married! :)
I believe Jonathan mentioned the book “How to avoid falling in love with a jerk” in some of their previous videos on their divorce. I believe that book is really good one, because behind the catchy title one of the first things it encourages is to know your own self deeply and intimately with the traumas, needs and painful spots, and if possible to explore those before marriage with a therapist. Your friend is already on a good path if he knows his weaknesses and traumas, maybe he needs some help in making sure that he has the tools to handle things if those traumas are triggered? Maybe that’s something he can work on, which can give him more confidence as he starts dating and looks for love and partner.
As for the marriage lasting… unfortunately I don’t think you can guarantee it. It also depends on how the other would handle it and whether they themselves are willing to know themselves and work on traumas or painful dynamics. There’s a channel here on YT called “Jimmy on relationships” and there is one video about 7 signs that you’ve found the one, if I remember correctly. Right off the bat he dismisses the concept of “the one” and then he talks about how to make it work. And a quote I really love from that video is about the willingness to work on the relationship and go to therapy, that one sign that that’s the right person if they can answer positively to the questions “But will you be willing to come to therapy with me and to work on it even if you think that I am the problem?” And I find that really beautiful and really a good sign. It still may not work out but hopefully it won’t be destructive to one or both parties!
Great video!❤
You are so kind. Thank you for watching! 💜
I love your content but please please please leave out those fill-in clips of random people doing random things.
Right!?
Dear Alicia and dear Jonathan,
Thank you for sharing your stories. I’ve been listening to your videos for maybe nearing 2 years and they have been a source of inspiration and strength many times. I just wanted to thank you and to say that it was incredibly brave of you to stay in the relationship when it was too painful to handle. Our close relationships are the ones in the most delicate position and are unfortunately the ones that have the greatest potential to hurt us. It really takes a lot of courage and resilience to stand up and confront that pain time after time and day after day and not break the relationship. Thanks for sharing both of your points of view. They are indeed very helpful and both of you are amazing people! I am learning a lot from both of you and what I love the most about your videos is how from your different perspectives they encourage us to be our authentic selves with all the flows and strengths with dignity! 😊
comment for the algorithm
I'm just curious, what sort of behaviors was he displaying that could potentially erode the friendship between you two?
They divorced?
@@icysims5257 yes. They said they've done the work when doing the videos for this channel (I still don't understand how people doing videos with the theme of this channel don't go to a couple therapist to sort out the issues, but hey, maybe I'm the one in the wrong) and arrived at the conclusion they want to remain friends
They are, yes. There are many videos where they are sharing their journey. Strongly recommend checking them out!
Too much stock video 😕
Good video btw
I didn't even woch the video. It's probably just a reflection of how I'm feeling right now but if even good people get divorced why bother starting relationships why try?
Giving and receiving love, learning, etc for me. All things come to an end but did we love and become someone "better " in the process?
@@rorycolgan I'm tired of having my romantic partners turn into life lessons. Some of us are just done.
Thanks for sharing you two's personal stories. But ... I just think you are failing to level with us, and also, you are not actually allowing Jono to express what are his real feelings. Because to be blunt, there is no evidence there is any person with whom you will ever feel satisfied with growing old together. At this point, you have probably tried every one of you two's theory of personality types with the same result. That would have been the honest thing to say to Jono when you two first started dating, the admission that for you, marriage is not forever, and that someday, some year, you will no longer be married to that person. That is simply the empirical fact of your life so far. Also just listening to Jono, objectively, you were the best thing that ever happened to him. It is striking how in Jono's videos he is always saying how he screwed this up, such as not letting you be the breadwinner, having a porn addiction, etc. But Jono went from someone who could not focus to having finished his degrees to become a licensed therapist, with his own practice and sharing this business with you, because of the assistance and discipline you helped him with. And he got to have kids with you and will have you to at least co-parent them into adulthood. What seems to me that is being obviously denied to Jono is the ability for him to admit that continuing to be married to you as both of you grow old would also have been the best thing to happen to him in the future, as long as he could figure out to let you travel around the world for business for maybe months at time while he holds down the fort at home. Jono is, for the brand of you two's business, not being allowed to actually admit loss that he did not will to happen. It has to be sold as a mutual decision, when the logic is the complete opposite, that you simply decided it was time to go, and nothing Jono could say or do would change that. In presenting what I think is simply a false picture of your divorce, you are denying to a huge percentage of people a reflection on the fundamental tragedy of romance, the longing to be with someone forever who does not return that affection, that level of commitment. You are denying a fundamental truth of the human condition.
Jono here, as I read and respont to RUclips comments more than Alicia does. I appreciate you sharing your perspectives, though I must say many of these conclusions are incorrect and even hurtful to a person I still consider family. I've got a busy few days ahead, but I will circle back to clarify in detail when I can.
I'm not going to address everything you've said here because I don't really feel it's my place to do that, but I just wanted to point out that if what you claim were true - if the divorce wasn't truly mutual and they were only presenting it that way for the sake of the brand - it would make absolutely no sense for them to make multiple videos talking about their divorce and their experiences with that. They could have easily made a single announcement post that announced their divorce but said they prefer to keep the details private and left it at that, and they have cultivated an audience that probably would have respected the desire to keep their lives private. In no way did they *have* to talk about their divorce or their experiences for the sake of the brand, and in fact, in some ways it might have been easier to choose *not* to talk about it. If it was all about brand image, they could have easily said we're getting divorced and we ask that you respect our privacy and trust us when we say it was a mutual decision made together. Instead, they did the harder thing and chose to share their story - opening their personal lives to speculation like your comment here - in the hopes that it might help others out there.
We don’t know every detail of what happened in their marriage-nor should we. It’s’ remarkable that they’re sharing what they are. I imagine in any divorce or relationship difficulty there are things which should not be shared because it would simply be tossing one person under the bus and into the court of public opinion in a way that would not be healthy and could not be a part of a respectful friendship after the fact. Therefore, we will never have the information required to adequately judge their relationship, if it was even appropriate for us to do it in the first place (it’s not). I know it’s hard not to take sides and it’s so very human to want to defend SOMEONE and want to place blame somewhere, but that is 100% not our job. Only they, the ones inside the marriage, can really ever know what happened. The fact that are carefully sharing part of it is amazing and an honor for those of us witnessing it. It offers us perspective and assistance in our own relationships we may not otherwise have. But you have to see it for what it is and not stay in this obsession with having certainty around a story that isn’t yours-any certainty you believe you have is going to be completely made up based on your need, and not the truth. Take a deep breath. Be at peace. You get to be the judge of your own relationships friend, not theirs.
I agree with all of these comments to a small degree, from what I have watched and heard from an outside prospective the main comment was a similar view that I had but not as aggressive or bias due to we don’t understand the situation. They might have shared what they are going through and how to be co parents but the only videos I’ve seen anyone owning up to their mistakes or blame is Jono. For me I feel that maybe his wife was badly hurt or dealing with some type of trauma that isn’t allowing her to move forward or heal so her relationships will continue to be the same results till she does some self healing and explore her career opportunities but that isn’t a fact it’s an assumption. As for their reasons of divorce it is very unclear all we know is that they are getting a divorce so it’s
Natural we start creating stories in our head to understand why it didn’t work out. Also it’s ok if someone just doesn’t want to be in a relationship even jf there is nothing wrong. Don’t allow our comments or opinions to hurt you, we don’t know any of you and you don’t own us anything. We appreciate the videos even if some of our opinions come off harsh. Some of us are just so damage we could never comprehend a healthy relationship ending because we never even seen a healthy relationship. I as Many people are terribly broken inside and we don’t understand how to communicate. Regardless if I sounded harsh right now I love these videos and am trying to learn to be a kinder person to my family.
The fact that Alicia and Jono have shared as much as they have is something we should be grateful for, as ultimately absolutely none of it is any of our business. They can share as much or as little as they please.
Why are they still together ?
They are not. They are still friends, co-parents to their kids, and business partners. This entire series has been going over how they are going about this. It's very helpful!
You're actually misinterpreting that scripture passage. The passage is a comparative one so you really can't just use one particular term out of context. It says "be ye perfect as your Heavenly Father is perfect...". It is commonly taught that God IS without flaw or fault. We are expected to strive for that knowing that God will be the one to get us there since by nature we are flawed human beings. This also correlates later with passages that discuss the concept of purgatory (a state or place of cleansing after death) where a persons works be burned or cleansed. They will be saved as though by fire...but I digress. We are called towards perfection as is more literally understood if you are actually reading it in context of the passage. It's not just a "state of wholeness" since you can be "whole" with flaws. Satan for example is "whole". He just chose to be whole with malice and lies. As an angel given far superior intellect, logic and reason, he knew exactly what he was giving up and what would be his gain. You even see this represented in Milton's Paradise Lost when he remarks that he would rather play first fiddle in hell than 2nd in heaven. Some people do serve themselves via what others would call "wrong doing" and do not see integrity as a value worth pursuing. They are "whole" as far as they are concerned. That is the epitome of selfishness. "My needs, my wants. my desires always come first and that is how things are meant to be".
I thought the point of scripture was that it is open to interpretation?
@@misterwishart No. In fact, Scripture specifically references the dangers of open interpretation. One passage recounts a person being asked if they understood what they were reading and they replied with "how can I understand unless somebody explains it to me", another account specifically says "even if an angel come down and preach anything other than what we have taught let him be anathema (let him be damned). Scripture also specifically warns "reading/interpreting to ones own destruction". It is a specific appeal to a teaching authority. Scripture backs this up by pointing out that the information (for Scripture) is sufficient but that not everything is contained within Scripture. So if you're looking for the "whole message" you need to refer to the mentioned teaching authority.
@TheRindy84 - And when you say that, I assume you are referring to a specific English interpretation of scripture, also interpreted from either Aramaic, Hebrew or Greek?
@@misterwishartplus, most people aren’t learning those interpretations of scripture unless they’re seeking out spiritual guidance from religious authorities.
@@TheRindy84 So, here is a question: What is the ultimate teaching authority? If you know what it is, I'd be very interested in hearing your thoughts
First
Second
@@aleksandrac9335 The one with the hairy chest.
@@aleksandrac9335 nice name, I might say 😁😊