I married my non JW husband in 2005. I informed the elders beforehand. All they did was sit me down in the back room with 2 elders present. They read all the scriptures about the triple cord and said our marriage wouldn’t be as strong because we wouldn’t have the third cord present (Jehovah). They said worldly men can have vices and don’t have the same morals, we would have many problems regarding raising our children, etc. I married him anyway..never even got reproved. My marriage is strong & successful nearly 17 years & 3 children later.
What a logical response to such a good question! Surely, he'd had a lot to gain from your response. I have gained as a Listener. Hence, that's why all faders, PIMOs, PIMQs, POMOs and even exJWs like me need you always. Great thanks.
You're absolutely right Lloyd. When i married a nonJW, i wasn't disfellowshiped, but i went through a very embarrassing "judicial committee" with 3 elders and the semi shunning began. Now, divorced, PIMO, inactive, and happier regardless.
I got married to a non-JW in 1973, but I didn't tell them until afterwards. The only thing I was asked was who performed the ceremony. I told them Justice of the Peace (which was true). Nothing else was said or done.
So good to see you again. I'm away from JWs for about 13 yrs and you and your videos have helped me during times of weakness. Those times that I considered going back. I never will. I love your videos and the content. Keep up the good work your doing a great job and are an inspiration to many. All the very best to you and yours.
Hi Lloyd New subscriber here I am a Ex JW I sent u a message b4 I left that Religion in the dust February2022 But my husband Is still in it heavy and so is his family so I am happy I am out I can Go back to my PRACTICE MY YOGA PRACTICE without those ex friends talking those people Are all about judgement and all up in my business Anyway I love ❤️ your channel take care Namaste
Exactly! Sometimes i get a little irritated how some people always have to please their JW parents. Even to their own disadvantage. You are the one who has to live with choices you made. Your parents made a choice, now make yours
My friend is faded for the last 2 years and lives in the same territory as his family and congregation. He has been living with his girlfriend for a year and is not DF'd but he is being soft shunned. His dad is an elder. His mom still talks to him. I'm sure if he was married his family would talk to him more
My primary takeaway from this is that the PIMO/fading lifestyle sounds absolutely exhausting. Can committing to the realities of leaving really be harder than the endless smoke and mirrors show, and the strategic games?
I tried the fade for several months and then finally up and left and made it known I was done with it. It was stressful but being fully out felt like a 100 lb weight was lifted off my chest.
I have a dumb question: it’s not like the elders have some special power of subpoena over you, so if the caller was 100% faded (i.e. a complete no show to the meetings but merely just on the rolls so to speak) wouldn’t somebody essentially have to witness him being a “wrongdoer” in order to disfellowship him? Lloyd says this more tactfully, but basically be discrete and don’t self-incriminate. You need to think like an attorney with this religion.
This is another thing I never understood. There is a clear command in the Bible only to "marry in the Lord" yet it's not a disfellowshipping offence, whereas it nowhere says don't smoke in the Bible but this is something you will get disfellowshiped for.
I always thought it was strange people lost privileges/got in trouble for having a beard as a man or visibly hairy legs as a woman, and though you wouldn’t get disfellowshipped for it, it’s crazy to consider which grooming practices we considered unacceptable.
Reiner Esser , Personally, I don't care about the Biblical rule of "only marrying in the Lord" as I am an atheist, so that book has no authority in my life, morally or theologically. I wouldn't care if the Bible had a rule against smoking, I still wouldn't smoke anyway. The JWs have all sorts of rules that seem rather arbitrary. Unfortunately, there are no mandatory ones within their denomination about immediately reporting known or suspected child molesters to the authorities.
@@jrojala , Well, that's how fundamentalist religion works: it only matters what your fellow believers think of you, but it doesn't matter what people outside your preferred religious group think of you-- even if you're being a total hurtful, hateful, bigoted jackass, apparently. I truly don't understand it no matter how many times I see it, and I understand it less and less.
I was a 4th generation Jehovah's witness baptized at 8 And faded at about 22 When they found out that I was getting married to an unbeliever The elders got Called in To ask Inappropriate questions of course I'm not going to say I lied But just say we exchanged fictional stories Since it's none of their business what 2 consenting adults do in private
I laughed a little inside when you said make sure it’s for the right reasons! That’s how it’s supposed to be but my parents are very much in the religion (I’m 3rd gen) BUT they still kind of check in on me and my sons. My father has offered my boyfriend 1,000 to go get a marriage certificate. Hahaha This is after I told them of my issues with my boyfriends temper and how if I had enough means I’d move out with my sons from my boyfriends house. My dad kept saying if I were just married to him my sister could speak to me etc. and of course he said don’t worry about money because Jehovah provides. Not in a world where I was a stay at home mom and pioneer my whole life and have no schooling. I had several grounds for divorce but I should have stayed and gone to school first then left. I’ve faded about 6-7 years ago when I found out my son was gay.
Glad you are back, Lloyd. I don't think I read the caller's issue quite the way you did, BUT the advice worked well either way! His mother may not be happy she was not told about his fiancé beforehand, but she will get over it. Better for her to be a little hurt than forced to shun him.
I got married twice to non-JWs, didn't get DFd either time. In the first relationship, the elders were stakingout my address for months to catch me 'red-handed' 😂 My bf & I were living together but those elders were so useless it was easy to get around them. After that, I moved home/areas and didn't share my address with my family back home. All the JW stalking problems vanished overnight and was free to live life like a regular person. In 2007, I got married a 2nd-and last time- and my parents came to the wedding after I played some JWs reverse psychology on them, and my dad even gave me away. They had an amazing time. I'm glad that despite all the nonsense their human decency prevailed on this one occasion making them attend their only-child's wedding. Edit: typo
I can second that, you will not be put before a judicial committee if you marry a non-believer. But I recommend you never talk to anyone about your dating life prior. I mean ever.
I'll never understand people who are willing to be in an increasingly serious relationship with someone who hides them from their family. Why would you allow yourself to be treated like the dirty stain on your partner's sheets? And shzne on anyone expecting their partner to stay hidden.
I feel like your comment is very judgemental, in my circumstance I was only 17 and out of fear of upsetting my parents I hid my relationship for years. My parents were under the impression I had finished it. I was being emotionally blackmailed by them constantly and the heartache myself and now husband went through was something that caused a lot of trauma. Maybe things arent always as simple as you think.
I’m sorry, but my experience was completely different, I was asked to stop a wedding that was 2 weeks away with a non believer and when I refused, I was disfellowshipped.
Hi Lloyd, great to hear you spritely. A JW marrying outside of the cult must be an enormous threat to the rulers. Great advice for the people. I value your advice. I don't see how the marriage can succeed if caller remains in the cult!
Your right, getting married to a non believer is not grounds for disfellowshipping. However when they pry into your premarried life and they will, they will ask if you had sexual intercourse. Depending on your answer, that’s where they can get you.
I lost the intention of getting married to a JW boy when I turned like, thirteen and discovered that literally every young person getting married in the congregation seemed miserable and pressured into it. Almost got signed up to an arranged marriage (which in Australia, isn’t very common I don’t think) and eventually rebelled by dating somebody ‘in the world’ with the intention to marry. I remember reaching a point, when I was as young as eighteen and gearing up to marry this guy after two years; where I had to quite literally -accept his death- at the hands of Armageddon, so I could proceed into the relationship as guilt free as possible. I just wanted what was making me happy, I remember crying about how unfair it was that God was going to ‘kill’ him even though he hadn’t done anything wrong, really. Luckily I didn’t marry him, I was young and stupid. But I totally understand that pressure from the organisation, and the constant battle members have when they’re struggling with a partner outside of the beliefs; or being lgbtq+. Thoughts are with this caller, you can’t be kicked out for being married to an unbeliever. But you’ll be ostracised and judged and pressured constantly to get your wife to the meetings to be indoctrinated. In the words of an old JW friend, who had successfully married her high school sweetheart who wasn’t a witness: “You /can/ do it, but it’s really hard to try and balance my partner and my relationship with Jehovah. Which should always come first, no matter what.” Your wife to be will become second priority to her conversion.
I believe you are correct. Most get married before telling the elders. But if someone has/is already faded, there is no reason to search out the elders to tell them. Once the elders find out the person will be questioned similarly to someone being adulterous. Then a certain amount of time without privileges. And never being a servant or elder while the mate remains not baptized.
I was married to an outsider and they met with me and wanted to know if we were sexually immoral beforehand. Nothing happened but they did a special needs part on my situation…. My parents were encouraged to shun me by some but because I still wanted to be in they did not.
This is where their rules make no sense and have no consistency or “one truth”. I’m a baptised female in the UK, faded/inactive since 2001 and have been openly living with my boyfriend since 2008. Zero repercussions. Still have a relationship with my mum. JWs are still on my social media and see me with him and celebrating Christmas etc, even going to a pagan festival. They still say Hi to me and have reached out to me numerous times. The US may be different though. The caller’s circumstances differ slightly but from mine but if he’s considered inactive then he’s a “lost sheep” I think. Good advice given though as to don’t talk about anything premarital. But don’t get married just so you can “reveal” your secret girlfriend to your mum and have a family relationship.Get married because you want to. On a side note I know of a faded woman who the JWs still spoke to when she had boyfriends but now she’s with a woman they don’t! I also know of witnesses who went off and out of the blue married a non believer then carried on as normal. I guess they just told the elders they didn’t have sex before marriage.
Glad you're back! My only other concern for the caller is how his mother (& other JW family) will cope with the news that he's marrying an unbeliever. Even if it's not a DFing offense, she no doubt will not be happy about it. I wish him "LUCK"! 😁
Hey Lloyd, I was just wondering about you, this whole war on Ukraine 🇺🇦 I don't know where you live, but I thought you lived in Ukraine or somewhere close to it, and I hope you and your family are safe 😢❤
I'm a baptised JW and married a non JW with no problems many years ago. I've also faded years ago no problem after my marriage to my non JW wife. I'm quite sure they can't disfellowship you for marrying a non JW....
I married twice. Both were non-JW men. The first marriage was shortly after being reinstated (2 years). No consequences. I’m sure that is partly due to the fact that I didn’t have any of my privileges back. The second marriage was 5 years later and there were no consequences again. Although, I was inactive at the time. I did get pregnant by my second husband I’m between the two marriages. I was somehow only publicly reproved for that. 🤷♀️
Warum bekomme ich keinen deutschen Untertitel mehr? Früher war das möglich! Ich finde Eure Videos sehr gut und zeitnah. In englisch verstehe ich leider nicht alkes!!!!!
"STOP, LOOK, LISTEN: Luke 8:17 "For there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, nor is there anything carefully hidden that will never become known and never come to light." it is part of the new covenant that Jesus made with his disciples to eat the bread that represents his body and drink the wine that represents his blood, how will you have eternal life? (Luke 22:19,20). doctrine of men or the word of GOD?" observe (John ch 3:16,17) 16-“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever exercises faith in him may not be destroyed but have eternal life. 17-For God did not send his Son into the world that he might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through him." observe (John ch 6:53-57) 53- So Jesus said to them, "I say- to you with all certainty: Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in yourselves. 54 - He that feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I do. I will rise again at the last day, 55- for my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. 56- Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood remains in union with me, and I in union with him. Just as the Father who lives sent me and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on me will live because of me. the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me". notice what Jesus said: Matthew 23:13 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because they close the kingdom of heaven to men; for you yourselves do not enter, nor do you let in those who are on their way to enter." look at the Conclusion of Jesus (John ch 10: 09,10) 9- I am the door; whoever enters by me will be saved, and will enter and he shall go out, and find pasture.” 10- A thief comes only to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
the only problem for Jehovah's Witnesses is not to take as an example what Jesus instituted in their memory, which was to eat and drink the emblems in the Lord's Supper! for it is one baptism and one hope of eternal life. Ephesians 4: 4-6 note 4- There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called in a hope to which you were called; 5- one Lord, one faith and one baptism; 6- God, unique and Father of all, who is above all, and through all and in all.
I'd tell the anonymous caller, no, it isn't a disfellowshipping offense to marry a non-JW, but you might be considered as a non-exemplary member of your congregation in your home country. You're inactive, but if you were baptized and if anyone found out that you were engaging in certain kinds of physical behavior or engaging in any sort of sexual activity before being married, which the JWs view as being "sinful" and you didn't apologize for it, then you might be in hot water with your previous congregation's Elders.
Continued: Presuming that you haven't ever attended religious services at a Kingdom Hall in the area of the country where you currently reside, presuming there is one at all, I don't really see how you could get into trouble with the Elders there-- especially since it seems like you don't engage in any sort of JW-related religious activities of any sort; it also seems like you may not attend and probably haven't attended meetings at all since you have lived abroad. However, if you were engaging in some any kind of behavior that the Witnesses deem as "inappropriate" with your fiancée, and I'm saying that you are, but even if you were, it would be none and is none of my business-- but if you were, the local JW community (if they somehow found out) could get in touch with the Elders of the JW congregation you previously attended in your home country, and you could be disfellowshipped by them and shunned by the global JW organization for refusing to stop engaging in said behavior and for refusing to apologize for it. I hope your marriage works out, and I hope you can be honest with your family that your potential spouse isn't a Witness and that she may have no desire to become one. You have to live your life for you, you can't live it trying to please everybody else. The JWs and many other fundamentalist religious groups might do that, but I don't, and I won't. You, the anonymous caller, have to decide to do what is best for you. I still hope that everything works out for the best for you and your fiancée though, whatever you decide to do.
Your parents and JW family may not attend the wedding... Even if it's not in a church. I was baptized and faded after moving cross country, and even though I lived with my boyfriend, no one came after me. Even after I moved back to town, they still didn't bother me... And when I got married, still no issues. Keeping the fade I think is important. If I had returned to meetings, it may have been different.
Never been married, left the organization about 17years ago completely. Im 37 now. My parents are very much still JW, but im thankful they never shunned me. They have met two girls ive dated who are not JW (obviously) and have always been loving, welcoming, and eager to meet the person im romantically involved with regardless. To the caller i will say my mother was distraught in the beginning years when i faded away. But if shes a good mother with a good head on her shoulders she will come around. She may not approve, but ur still her son and wants you to be happy regardless of religion. Atleast i wish that for you and your bride to be. love you all
@LLoyd: glad to have you back and kicking. @Caller: I understand you try to avoid the confrontational approach with your mom, because you might lose her. However, I believe it is good to let her know that you are going to live your life on your own terms. The earlier you have that conversation with her, the better. Otherwise, you and your fiance (soon to be wife) might play the cat and mouse game with your mom and the jw the rest of your life.
I was JW when married my non JW husband. Nothing happend. Not even elders contact me. My mom was and still is JW. We had as normal relationship as it could be with JW parent till I left from JW couple years ago and my mom started totally shunning me. But she was keep sending nasty text messages to my husband about how I`m the rason you are going to die in armageddon, how he would be so good JW and how she would loved to see him in paradise. She was asking about me. But I said she is my mom 100% or nothing. My husband job isnt be between us. So he totally ignored her messages and calls. And one day they stopped. If I would be his shoes, I would tell all about the religon rules, and how it effect life and let her to choice does she want that kind of things to her life. Its not anymore about you and your relationship with your mom, she has alot to say about it as couple and soon family. And if one day youll get kids...thats totally new problem to handle. As JW grand parent she will try to preaching to kid/s. Its not anything like I believe god and when we die weill go to heaven-type things. Its hc manipulation way and alot of fear behind of it. I know this too well cos I had to balaced 10 years with this issues with my mom and myself and husband and religion. Now nearly 3 years totally shunning, its sad but many things are better. I dont need to acting near her or me and my husband coldnt talk many things with her, cos most of the things we did were someway forbidden. Like bday/halloween parties, voting ect. (sorry my bad english itsn not my mother language)
I married my non JW husband in 2005. I informed the elders beforehand. All they did was sit me down in the back room with 2 elders present. They read all the scriptures about the triple cord and said our marriage wouldn’t be as strong because we wouldn’t have the third cord present (Jehovah). They said worldly men can have vices and don’t have the same morals, we would have many problems regarding raising our children, etc. I married him anyway..never even got reproved. My marriage is strong & successful nearly 17 years & 3 children later.
Stay happy!
I love the bit about worldly men having vices and don’t have the same morals. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black?
@@dennisconstantine624 Exactly!
Are you still a jw?
@@alisonschmitt9533 I’ve been inactive for about 12 years. I was never disfellowshipped.
Welcome back, Lloyd! Glad that you took a break and are ready to continue the fight!!
(Watchtower is not pleased that you’re back! 😂)
What a logical response to such a good question!
Surely, he'd had a lot to gain from your response. I have gained as a Listener. Hence, that's why all faders, PIMOs, PIMQs, POMOs and even exJWs like me need you always. Great thanks.
You're absolutely right Lloyd. When i married a nonJW, i wasn't disfellowshiped, but i went through a very embarrassing "judicial committee" with 3 elders and the semi shunning began. Now, divorced, PIMO, inactive, and happier regardless.
Great advice as usual Lloyd. Its good to see a video from you!
This guy being nervous about marrying non member is scary
I got married to a non-JW in 1973, but I didn't tell them until afterwards. The only thing I was asked was who performed the ceremony. I told them Justice of the Peace (which was true). Nothing else was said or done.
So good to see you again.
I'm away from JWs for about 13 yrs and you and your videos have helped me during times of weakness. Those times that I considered going back. I never will. I love your videos and the content. Keep up the good work your doing a great job and are an inspiration to many. All the very best to you and yours.
Hi Lloyd New subscriber here I am a Ex JW I sent u a message b4 I left that Religion in the dust February2022 But my husband Is still in it heavy and so is his family so I am happy I am out I can Go back to my PRACTICE MY YOGA PRACTICE without those ex friends talking those people Are all about judgement and all up in my business Anyway I love ❤️ your channel take care Namaste
@SIMPLY SONDRA, Welcome! I am so glad you made it out! Namaste!
@@outtadarkness1970 thank U for your kind words And I love ❤️ your screen name (outta Darkness) Beautiful 😍
You abandoned your husband and your God.
@@bobwellington7580, Two things you couldn't possibly know!
Btw, Watchtower does NOT = God; no man-made religion does.
Great video, thank you Lloyd
At some point in life, you need to understand that your life is _your_ life. If your parents can't see or respect this, it's their loss.
EXACTLY.
Exactly! Sometimes i get a little irritated how some people always have to please their JW parents. Even to their own disadvantage. You are the one who has to live with choices you made. Your parents made a choice, now make yours
Wholeheartedly agree.
It's so nice seeing you back in my RUclips feed!
💯
Glad to see you back bud.
Get married first, then introduce your wife to your mother.
Here Lloyd go again helping others regardless of own problems. It is so admirable!
@@Gilaffa137 Why the heck are you here if you don’t like it? You must pick be a Closet POMI
My friend is faded for the last 2 years and lives in the same territory as his family and congregation. He has been living with his girlfriend for a year and is not DF'd but he is being soft shunned. His dad is an elder. His mom still talks to him. I'm sure if he was married his family would talk to him more
he should marry first then introduce his wife to his mom, and nobody has to ask about what happened before
My primary takeaway from this is that the PIMO/fading lifestyle sounds absolutely exhausting.
Can committing to the realities of leaving really be harder than the endless smoke and mirrors show, and the strategic games?
I tried the fade for several months and then finally up and left and made it known I was done with it. It was stressful but being fully out felt like a 100 lb weight was lifted off my chest.
Hello Lloyd!!!
Great response. So glad to see new videos! You help so many.
Yet another helpful video great to see you up n running again matey a swear its epic
I’m so happy that your back 😀
I have a dumb question: it’s not like the elders have some special power of subpoena over you, so if the caller was 100% faded (i.e. a complete no show to the meetings but merely just on the rolls so to speak) wouldn’t somebody essentially have to witness him being a “wrongdoer” in order to disfellowship him? Lloyd says this more tactfully, but basically be discrete and don’t self-incriminate. You need to think like an attorney with this religion.
This is another thing I never understood. There is a clear command in the Bible only to "marry in the Lord" yet it's not a disfellowshipping offence, whereas it nowhere says don't smoke in the Bible but this is something you will get disfellowshiped for.
Don’t go giving them any ideas now lol
You are right
I always thought it was strange people lost privileges/got in trouble for having a beard as a man or visibly hairy legs as a woman, and though you wouldn’t get disfellowshipped for it, it’s crazy to consider which grooming practices we considered unacceptable.
Reiner Esser
,
Personally, I don't care about the Biblical rule of "only marrying in the Lord" as I am an atheist, so that book has no authority in my life, morally or theologically. I wouldn't care if the Bible had a rule against smoking, I still wouldn't smoke anyway. The JWs have all sorts of rules that seem rather arbitrary. Unfortunately, there are no mandatory ones within their denomination about immediately reporting known or suspected child molesters to the authorities.
@@jrojala ,
Well, that's how fundamentalist religion works: it only matters what your fellow believers think of you, but it doesn't matter what people outside your preferred religious group think of you-- even if you're being a total hurtful, hateful, bigoted jackass, apparently. I truly don't understand it no matter how many times I see it, and I understand it less and less.
I was a 4th generation Jehovah's witness baptized at 8 And faded at about 22 When they found out that I was getting married to an unbeliever The elders got Called in To ask Inappropriate questions of course I'm not going to say I lied But just say we exchanged fictional stories Since it's none of their business what 2 consenting adults do in private
I laughed a little inside when you said make sure it’s for the right reasons! That’s how it’s supposed to be but my parents are very much in the religion (I’m 3rd gen) BUT they still kind of check in on me and my sons. My father has offered my boyfriend 1,000 to go get a marriage certificate. Hahaha This is after I told them of my issues with my boyfriends temper and how if I had enough means I’d move out with my sons from my boyfriends house. My dad kept saying if I were just married to him my sister could speak to me etc. and of course he said don’t worry about money because Jehovah provides. Not in a world where I was a stay at home mom and pioneer my whole life and have no schooling. I had several grounds for divorce but I should have stayed and gone to school first then left. I’ve faded about 6-7 years ago when I found out my son was gay.
Glad you are back, Lloyd. I don't think I read the caller's issue quite the way you did, BUT the advice worked well either way! His mother may not be happy she was not told about his fiancé beforehand, but she will get over it. Better for her to be a little hurt than forced to shun him.
Loving your bright T-shirts Lloyd.
I got married twice to non-JWs, didn't get DFd either time. In the first relationship, the elders were stakingout my address for months to catch me 'red-handed' 😂 My bf & I were living together but those elders were so useless it was easy to get around them. After that, I moved home/areas and didn't share my address with my family back home. All the JW stalking problems vanished overnight and was free to live life like a regular person.
In 2007, I got married a 2nd-and last time- and my parents came to the wedding after I played some JWs reverse psychology on them, and my dad even gave me away. They had an amazing time. I'm glad that despite all the nonsense their human decency prevailed on this one occasion making them attend their only-child's wedding.
Edit: typo
Wow I am in the same spot situation as the caller - really glad he asked and thanks for the response lloyd!
Sooooo glad to see you back doing what you do best, Lloyd. A massive middle finger up to those whoever questioned or doubted you. Yay.
I am a ex jw I got married for a second time you have helped me alot.
You are spot on with your reply. At most, public reproof. At least, a marking talk.
I can second that, you will not be put before a judicial committee if you marry a non-believer. But I recommend you never talk to anyone about your dating life prior. I mean ever.
I'll never understand people who are willing to be in an increasingly serious relationship with someone who hides them from their family. Why would you allow yourself to be treated like the dirty stain on your partner's sheets? And shzne on anyone expecting their partner to stay hidden.
I feel like your comment is very judgemental, in my circumstance I was only 17 and out of fear of upsetting my parents I hid my relationship for years. My parents were under the impression I had finished it. I was being emotionally blackmailed by them constantly and the heartache myself and now husband went through was something that caused a lot of trauma. Maybe things arent always as simple as you think.
I think you still love Our Heavenly Father still, Lloyd Nice that you quoted from scriptures
I'd get married in Secret and then just inform them you got married
I’m sorry, but my experience was completely different, I was asked to stop a wedding that was 2 weeks away with a non believer and when I refused, I was disfellowshipped.
That was the beginning of my waking up…
👍your doing the right thing for people!
Married with a non jw. I just told them a few days before the wedding. They said it was too late to do anything 😁
Awesome video
so glad you are back!
Hi Lloyd, great to hear you spritely. A JW marrying outside of the cult must be an enormous threat to the rulers. Great advice for the people. I value your advice. I don't see how the marriage can succeed if caller remains in the cult!
Your right, getting married to a non believer is not grounds for disfellowshipping. However when they pry into your premarried life and they will, they will ask if you had sexual intercourse. Depending on your answer, that’s where they can get you.
I lost the intention of getting married to a JW boy when I turned like, thirteen and discovered that literally every young person getting married in the congregation seemed miserable and pressured into it. Almost got signed up to an arranged marriage (which in Australia, isn’t very common I don’t think) and eventually rebelled by dating somebody ‘in the world’ with the intention to marry. I remember reaching a point, when I was as young as eighteen and gearing up to marry this guy after two years; where I had to quite literally -accept his death- at the hands of Armageddon, so I could proceed into the relationship as guilt free as possible. I just wanted what was making me happy, I remember crying about how unfair it was that God was going to ‘kill’ him even though he hadn’t done anything wrong, really.
Luckily I didn’t marry him, I was young and stupid. But I totally understand that pressure from the organisation, and the constant battle members have when they’re struggling with a partner outside of the beliefs; or being lgbtq+. Thoughts are with this caller, you can’t be kicked out for being married to an unbeliever. But you’ll be ostracised and judged and pressured constantly to get your wife to the meetings to be indoctrinated. In the words of an old JW friend, who had successfully married her high school sweetheart who wasn’t a witness:
“You /can/ do it, but it’s really hard to try and balance my partner and my relationship with Jehovah. Which should always come first, no matter what.” Your wife to be will become second priority to her conversion.
A woman was reproved from the platform when she married a non JW, When I was a JW.
I believe you are correct.
Most get married before telling the elders.
But if someone has/is already faded, there is no reason to search out the elders to tell them.
Once the elders find out the person will be questioned similarly to someone being adulterous. Then a certain amount of time without privileges. And never being a servant or elder while the mate remains not baptized.
I was married to an outsider and they met with me and wanted to know if we were sexually immoral beforehand. Nothing happened but they did a special needs part on my situation…. My parents were encouraged to shun me by some but because I still wanted to be in they did not.
This is where their rules make no sense and have no consistency or “one truth”. I’m a baptised female in the UK, faded/inactive since 2001 and have been openly living with my boyfriend since 2008. Zero repercussions. Still have a relationship with my mum. JWs are still on my social media and see me with him and celebrating Christmas etc, even going to a pagan festival. They still say Hi to me and have reached out to me numerous times. The US may be different though. The caller’s circumstances differ slightly but from mine but if he’s considered inactive then he’s a “lost sheep” I think. Good advice given though as to don’t talk about anything premarital. But don’t get married just so you can “reveal” your secret girlfriend to your mum and have a family relationship.Get married because you want to. On a side note I know of a faded woman who the JWs still spoke to when she had boyfriends but now she’s with a woman they don’t! I also know of witnesses who went off and out of the blue married a non believer then carried on as normal. I guess they just told the elders they didn’t have sex before marriage.
Great advice there. It would certainly make things more interesting, but I think you’ve given him some good guidance.
Glad you're back!
My only other concern for the caller is how his mother (& other JW family) will cope with the news that he's marrying an unbeliever. Even if it's not a DFing offense, she no doubt will not be happy about it. I wish him "LUCK"! 😁
Imagine the surprise when you discover there is no Jehovah and you are the living cosmos in the human form.
Welcome back Lloyd!
Hey Lloyd, I was just wondering about you, this whole war on Ukraine 🇺🇦 I don't know where you live, but I thought you lived in Ukraine or somewhere close to it, and I hope you and your family are safe 😢❤
I'm a baptised JW and married a non JW with no problems many years ago. I've also faded years ago no problem after my marriage to my non JW wife. I'm quite sure they can't disfellowship you for marrying a non JW....
I married twice. Both were non-JW men. The first marriage was shortly after being reinstated (2 years). No consequences. I’m sure that is partly due to the fact that I didn’t have any of my privileges back.
The second marriage was 5 years later and there were no consequences again. Although, I was inactive at the time.
I did get pregnant by my second husband I’m between the two marriages. I was somehow only publicly reproved for that. 🤷♀️
what would be the best way to get an email to you directly lloyd?
Warum bekomme ich keinen deutschen Untertitel mehr? Früher war das möglich!
Ich finde Eure Videos sehr gut und zeitnah. In englisch verstehe ich leider nicht alkes!!!!!
My disassociated brother married a "worldly girl" and my JW mother is shunning him but she is trying to convert his wife to a JW
In the congregations of Jehovah's Witnesses they practice rejecting the blood and body of Christ in the Lord's Supper!
"STOP, LOOK, LISTEN: Luke 8:17 "For there is nothing hidden that will not be revealed, nor is there anything carefully hidden that will never become known and never come to light." it is part of the new covenant that Jesus made with his disciples to eat the bread that represents his body and drink the wine that represents his blood, how will you have eternal life? (Luke 22:19,20). doctrine of men or the word of GOD?" observe (John ch 3:16,17) 16-“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever exercises faith in him may not be destroyed but have eternal life. 17-For God did not send his Son into the world that he might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through him." observe (John ch 6:53-57) 53- So Jesus said to them, "I say- to you with all certainty: Unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in yourselves. 54 - He that feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I do. I will rise again at the last day, 55- for my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. 56- Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood remains in union with me, and I in union with him. Just as the Father who lives sent me and I live because of the Father, so he who feeds on me will live because of me. the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me". notice what Jesus said: Matthew 23:13 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because they close the kingdom of heaven to men; for you yourselves do not enter, nor do you let in those who are on their way to enter." look at the Conclusion of Jesus (John ch 10: 09,10) 9- I am the door; whoever enters by me will be saved, and will enter and he shall go out, and find pasture.” 10- A thief comes only to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.
the only problem for Jehovah's Witnesses is not to take as an example what Jesus instituted in their memory, which was to eat and drink the emblems in the Lord's Supper! for it is one baptism and one hope of eternal life. Ephesians 4: 4-6 note 4- There is one body and one spirit, just as you were called in a hope to which you were called; 5- one Lord, one faith and one baptism; 6- God, unique and Father of all, who is above all, and through all and in all.
Preach somewhere else.
Bom dia Lloyd Evans gostaria que você disponibilizasse nas suas lives legendas em português. sou um grande fã seu aqui do Brasil
Schöne Grüße aus luckenwalde
First, nice vid
I'd tell the anonymous caller, no, it isn't a disfellowshipping offense to marry a non-JW, but you might be considered as a non-exemplary member of your congregation in your home country. You're inactive, but if you were baptized and if anyone found out that you were engaging in certain kinds of physical behavior or engaging in any sort of sexual activity before being married, which the JWs view as being "sinful" and you didn't apologize for it, then you might be in hot water with your previous congregation's Elders.
Continued:
Presuming that you haven't ever attended religious services at a Kingdom Hall in the area of the country where you currently reside, presuming there is one at all, I don't really see how you could get into trouble with the Elders there-- especially since it seems like you don't engage in any sort of JW-related religious activities of any sort; it also seems like you may not attend and probably haven't attended meetings at all since you have lived abroad. However, if you were engaging in some any kind of behavior that the Witnesses deem as "inappropriate" with your fiancée, and I'm saying that you are, but even if you were, it would be none and is none of my business-- but if you were, the local JW community (if they somehow found out) could get in touch with the Elders of the JW congregation you previously attended in your home country, and you could be disfellowshipped by them and shunned by the global JW organization for refusing to stop engaging in said behavior and for refusing to apologize for it.
I hope your marriage works out, and I hope you can be honest with your family that your potential spouse isn't a Witness and that she may have no desire to become one. You have to live your life for you, you can't live it trying to please everybody else. The JWs and many other fundamentalist religious groups might do that, but I don't, and I won't. You, the anonymous caller, have to decide to do what is best for you. I still hope that everything works out for the best for you and your fiancée though, whatever you decide to do.
Your parents and JW family may not attend the wedding... Even if it's not in a church. I was baptized and faded after moving cross country, and even though I lived with my boyfriend, no one came after me. Even after I moved back to town, they still didn't bother me... And when I got married, still no issues. Keeping the fade I think is important. If I had returned to meetings, it may have been different.
April 1st they go back to KHs
So says a bethel relative
Stay single my friends, marriages will ruin your life lol
Never been married, left the organization about 17years ago completely. Im 37 now. My parents are very much still JW, but im thankful they never shunned me. They have met two girls ive dated who are not JW (obviously) and have always been loving, welcoming, and eager to meet the person im romantically involved with regardless. To the caller i will say my mother was distraught in the beginning years when i faded away. But if shes a good mother with a good head on her shoulders she will come around. She may not approve, but ur still her son and wants you to be happy regardless of religion. Atleast i wish that for you and your bride to be. love you all
Could they consider just being friends on benefits?
How do people call in is it only a channel members thing?
@@jrojala thank you
@LLoyd: glad to have you back and kicking.
@Caller: I understand you try to avoid the confrontational approach with your mom, because you might lose her. However, I believe it is good to let her know that you are going to live your life on your own terms. The earlier you have that conversation with her, the better. Otherwise, you and your fiance (soon to be wife) might play the cat and mouse game with your mom and the jw the rest of your life.
I was JW when married my non JW husband. Nothing happend. Not even elders contact me. My mom was and still is JW. We had as normal relationship as it could be with JW parent till I left from JW couple years ago and my mom started totally shunning me. But she was keep sending nasty text messages to my husband about how I`m the rason you are going to die in armageddon, how he would be so good JW and how she would loved to see him in paradise. She was asking about me. But I said she is my mom 100% or nothing. My husband job isnt be between us. So he totally ignored her messages and calls. And one day they stopped. If I would be his shoes, I would tell all about the religon rules, and how it effect life and let her to choice does she want that kind of things to her life. Its not anymore about you and your relationship with your mom, she has alot to say about it as couple and soon family. And if one day youll get kids...thats totally new problem to handle. As JW grand parent she will try to preaching to kid/s. Its not anything like I believe god and when we die weill go to heaven-type things. Its hc manipulation way and alot of fear behind of it. I know this too well cos I had to balaced 10 years with this issues with my mom and myself and husband and religion. Now nearly 3 years totally shunning, its sad but many things are better. I dont need to acting near her or me and my husband coldnt talk many things with her, cos most of the things we did were someway forbidden. Like bday/halloween parties, voting ect. (sorry my bad english itsn not my mother language)
Id appreciate American callers getting their point across with fewer words. Cant they be more succinct?
I thought he misspelled "faith" :)
I am a worshipper of Jehovah God. Jesus was Jehovah's first creation. Jesus is Michael the archangel. Michael means who is like God.