ADHD isn't just a cute personality quirk, it can be crippling
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- Опубликовано: 14 янв 2024
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Unrelated, but Kevin’s voice is perfection
Fr
Frrr
Kevin ASMR please 🙏
It's not even "dead end dreams" for me, it's like, how do you even "envision the future" when the daily crippling executive function just doesn't seem to be there, & getting less?
i have adhd and accommodations in college. my friends say they wish they could trade with me so they could have extra time on homework and exams. it makes me irritated because they don’t understand how crippling my adhd is and how it’s not just getting extra time with work. sometimes they make jokes and it makes me so mad because they don’t understand how much it affects my life.
I suffered from undiagnosed ADHD all the way through adulthood and went through unnecessary pain - severe anxiety and depression. You find how cruel people can treat you when your suffering from this disorder.
I completely understand. It’s so unfair the way the world tells us who we are before we even get to decide. I’m right there with you
i was SO angry when i got diagnosed… i’ve endured so much pain so much bullying so much gaslighting so much abuse just because my brain is different???
Can u get some sort of disability from ADHD?
@@fastdeliveryl708 ADHD is the disability. It stands for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, although ADHD isn't so much a hyperactivity disorder as it is a disorder that affects the primary area of executive function of the brain. Hyperactivity is more so a common symptom of ADHD whether it is presenting external, or internal.
Diagnosed 2 years ago at age 32 with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. Recently I was encouraged to resign from my full time job by my supervisor who said that any ADA accommodations wouldn't help. I was going through major anxiety symptoms due to a medication change and my employer didn't want to wait as I submitted paperwork to discuss accommodations and was trying to apply for short-term disability leave to give myself time to reevaluate my medication. I feel so lost wanting to be able to support myself and my kids but cannot find the right support for my mental health. 😢
my gosh. I'm so sorry this happened to you, it's aweful :( Similar thing happened to me. I resently was encouraged to resign from my job because of my disabilities that now, doing the research, I discovered I have adhd and was showing traits of forgetfulness, tuning out with what ppl were saying and unable to retain large enough amounts of infomation. I was encouraged to resign aswell cus my step dad had died and I wasn't able to get a sebatical so I was emotionally dysfunctional at work and didn't get enough support for tht either. They never allowed me to grieve and come back, they just let me go and thought that they couldn't accommodate my needs. I have the reciepts
Me right now. I was let go a week after requesting accommodations
🙏🏽🙏🏽💕
@@MizzFujin This has to have some legal precedent to show discrimination. There has to be some org that can handle cases like these.
@@1_ATA I kept requesting accomodations, with only non-manager employees being willing to help me where possible, given the nature of the job at the time, and when speaking to management, it just went in one ear and out the other.
I eventually just left on my own, since there were several other deliberately disgusting issues, some of which being:
1. Some customer came in brandishing a gun during business hours, and we all had to hide in the back stock room
2. Employees regularly dealing with unruly customers, then going in the stock room freezer to yell at the top of their lungs
3. I genuinely had punctuality issues by 5-10 minutes when showing up, BUT there was one time that I caught a manager setting back my schedule in the digital portal by 30 mins to make it seem as if I was showing up to work late that particular day, when I was actually more than an hour early since I KNEW I had been having problems with this specifically, AND it was during a unionizing drive at our store
4. All of the Black employees during a particular pay period received the shortest amount of hours across the whole schedule of employees based on paperwork that was laid out in a binder in plain view on the front cash register desk area where people place their orders.
ALL OF THIS occured at a place where people go for coffee that has screwed over its unionized workers. This place has the veneer that it accepts gay and trans people and those who are different, but they really don't. It's all a PR stunt to seem more inclusive. I wouldn't buy anything from them anymore if you really care about the employees until they fix how they treat workers.
If I could sue these companies into oblivion, I would.
Still undiagnosed and everyday I am coming to terms with how disabling ADHD and my comorbidities truly are and always have been. Thank you for sharing your truth.
I’m glad you can find comfort with our experiences. I know I relate!
MORE KEV FOR SURE HE’S FUNNY AND KIND
TY BESTIE ILL KEEP ANNOYING IRENE FOR MORE CAMEOS HEHEHE
I just want to say as a 17 year old who has been diagnosed with ADHD who is figuring out medication, struggles with mental health, and is getting ready to be an adult you two have had such a positive effect on me, thank you so much for being real and giving some amazing advice ❤
You’re gonna make me cry! I’m so happy that you’re able to find a safe space in us and learn more about yourself. Growing up and navigating adulthood is hard even for adults and it warms my heart knowing we’re helping people even younger than us. ❤️
@@kevinroyceho 🥺🫶
I REALLY resonated with Kevin throughout the video, especially when he talked about losing trust in yourself, the overwhelming sadness and feeling like it is going to be this way forever. I am a therapist with ADHD and the systems issues that don’t align with me have really burnt me out and I’m feeling like I can’t live up to the expectations placed on all of us. I know there’s a pathway forward and your videos always seem so poignant and helpful for me to feel like I’m not alone in this struggle. Thank you both for sharing your stories! ❤
Thank you for listening! The burnout and imposter syndrome are real. Although I don’t have real answers for everyone and am still learning myself, I’m glad we’re not doing it alone. Thank you for sharing your experience ✨
I feel Kevin's pain. This shit is debilitating.
And I would love to see more of him, yes.
Kevin is channeling Bubbles today
I remember the first time I got my adhd medication, after getting over starring at my nose, I realised how much I'd missed out on and felt like crying. the idea of it being cute and quirky when the only reason I was academically behind repeatedly was because of it is disgusting. "teehee I fidget and need to stim!!!"
Kevin sharing what his ideal job would be sounds like a dream to me as a fellow creative person with ADHD. I just want to live in a world where I get to be surrounded by creativity everyday.
26:56 hearing Kevin's passionate description of his dream job(s) and Irene hitting us with the cold hard truth 😂😭 got me teared up
This resonated so much, as a creative with adhd. I'm stuck at the portfolio stage of the job search after having burnt out of my previous job. I thought this was bc i was still burnt out, bc it feels like im dragging my feet more than usual. This video made me realize how much i was subconsciously daydreaming, like Kevin, of all the creative jobs id love to do but dont have the qualifications for - and how frustrated i was with knowing ill probably have to accept another mainstream job again.
The rest of the video gave me hope ofc but this hit home, and helped me see + validate my anger around this part of my life 💙 thank you both!
I feel you. Such a harsh reality. I want to believe that we can get our ideal roles. Surviving is exhausting!
I totally understand. I feel like in a way our neurodivergence forces us to thrive off our art and creativity since this world and its systems weren’t made for us.
So much of life’s obstacles as a creative and ADHDer means forging our own path. Take your time! Your art will grow and so will you 💕
If you're in the U.S., please seek assistance with SSI and disability benefits. It's one way to aid in your survival that isn't scummy, under the table, or putting you into a hostile traditional work environment directly unless you choose to do both (working while getting benefits). I also recommend doing in-depth research on different orgs and living arrangements that may be able to help, as well. If this world isn't made for us, we shouldn't have to acclimate to it. By design, it constantly reminds us we aren't welcome, so why do you *have to* give up what you'd like to do? That may be the thing that could begin to help you get the wheels rolling on leaving mainstream work behind. Sometimes, it's not just a daydream, but there are those invested in making sure we are stuck and feel that way about ourselves and our lives so we keep deferring to their way or survival that clearly doesn't work for us. Currently in a bit of a similar situation rn, but please consider this.
Came across the channel more recently so this is the first time I've seen Kevin. I have Autism, ADHD, and suffer from PTSD. Obviously I have trouble with people, yet I found Kevin instantly likeable from the moment he started speaking. He's got quite a contagious energy to him.
Same here, the trifecta! I just found Irene’s channel yesterday & I adore both of their energies. Kevin really seems like such a sparkling person.
For me, adhd meds don't necessarily make me more productive. When I don't take them I feel like my emotions are unhinged, and my thoughts can be completely over the top and irrational. With the meds I am more level- and clear-headed.
As a neurodivergent person on the autism spectrum with adhd, general anxiety and depression I really related to Kevin's testimony on his struggles with ADHD. He is a really cool guy. You should do more videos together. This was such a great video. Thank you.
I love Kevin. Would love to see more of him on this channel
I could listen to Kevin’s smooth, deep voice all day! It’s like listening to Barry White! 😍
I want to be positive, but I know the constant hurt I experience being ND. The loneliness, being overlooked and the constant pressure to succeed. I don't think I'm buit for this world
I relate to every part of this. I often feel too soft and gentle for this world, but I’m gonna do my best to make something of myself or die trying. I hope you find love and support in your endeavors and everything you do. ❤️
@@kevinroyceho Thank you Kevin! 🙂I feel like we will make it in this world; I've heard about ND people being the ones to change systems! Sending you all the love 💓💫
Kevin you are a star baby don't ever lose your focus on that. I can listen to your ramble whenever. Love you Irene.
Thank you baby, as are you! 🌟
Haven't watched the video yet, but seeing the title reminded me of about how people, specifically online, act when a person with ADHD speaks up about their struggles with the disorder that aren't the stereotypical "Super hyper, high adrenaline, can't focus uwu quirky" bs.
Like, people act like the person with ADHD is being extra and making up stuff when like no... ADHD isn't just this. There is more and I mean tons MORE to ADHD than just "young boy getting distracted + running around the table 50 times" like... come on now.
With ADHD there isn't just a problem with hyper-activity (for the most part I think imo that's the lesser thing but obviously it depends).
There's a learning struggle.
There's a social struggle.
There's an emotional struggle.
Mf there are everyday life task struggles, that are indeed A STRUGGLE.
And neglect of these struggles (not specific) lead to *the struggle of many crippling mental illnesses* 😀
People... just please, read fuggin a book.
✨Respectfully✨ of course :]
You wanna know whats crippling about it? To put it into perspective many children tend to be all hyper but back then i was incredibly Chaotic. A chaotic type of personality that drove people away, caused social misunderstandings that quite often gotten me literally dragged to the principals office and convinced the teachers and staff that i required "special treatment" that forced me into isolated classes away from the rest of the student population on occasion. Life in high school was almost the same, with the majority of it being spent on the socially failed outcast everyone leaves in the dust while they all had their relationships and band of buddies to talk to and laugh with while all i had was myself. And just when I was so ready to at least try to obtain the human experience of that part of my life the pandemic rolled in and gave me yet another reality check, I was isolated and alone before but at that moment i realized how truly horrible it can be. And then there was college, i did my very best to hide my disability from everyone, but no matter what i did i ended up leaving more alone than how I started. If you'd ask me if i sought a bigger answer then i'd say that just maybe the universe chooses some people to be its practical joke and unfortunately here I am trying to find kinship in a community of many more that mankind abandoned just to keep from slipping into a dark pit of sorrow like a helpless wounded animal about to become prey to a much greater monster
The great thing about this is that you’re always going to be welcomed here! Sometimes our friends really are online lol I hope that one day you’ll be able to find a sense of peace, community and belonging to your tribe. We all have one ❤
I’m so sorry to hear that that’s been your experience. You shouldn’t have been made to feel like an outcast or problem, as if there’s something inherently wrong with you. You are so worthy of friendship, love and community.
I hope you find your people in real life as well as online! I know it may not seem like it but believe me when I say that there are people out there waiting to love you 💕
@@kevinroyceho
Not easy to even meet people face to face in your 20s man realistically saying
We can be friends if you want.
@@MouthwashTyphoon
With strangers online? Wth
If the ADHD was treated you wouldn't be depressed...why don't they get this?!! So frustrating
fr! i was put on antidepressants at 19yo and now im 31 and fully reliant on them even though my psychiatrist has diagnosed me with adhd and told me he doesn't think i actually have depression lol but its so hard to come off them now
@@loliada sad. There are ways to get off them, just be very careful but don't lose hope, slowly and gradually step down and maybe incorporate herbal things to help naturally boost your levels
Oh my! This is so awesomely hilarious! "When you have the capacity" and "dive into my waters"! 😂
You both have really calming voices, and you bounce off each other so easily. I swear I could just watch you two talk about anything together
Completely agree, they sound so chill talking about difficult topics. A podcast would be amazing but I’ll watch anything 😆
Omg that speech at the end about "you are not your disorder" was exactly what I need to hear, thank you so much, I wish I had friends like you guys, I really wish that 😣😞😢 I felt completely understood by your entire commentary, I didn't know how much I needed to hear this, specially now. Thank you so much, this video has genuinely touched my heart. I hope I can someday find friends like you two to hang out with IRL 💖 This videos with both of you always make me laugh alongside you haha
It makes me even happier that you were able to feel seen and comforted just with us sharing how we feel! It’s never easy but we learn and gain knowledge from our experiences, which definitely includes giving yourself grace. You’re not alone and there are people out there who can’t wait to love you and understand you! ❤️
I agree with the shaming concept - they called it tough love - I hate it .
But love ain't tough tho! That's what they don't tell you! They need someone to shame and be rough with to release hidden aggression and maintain the invisible NT hierarchy to keep you from getting your needs met!!!!
Me and Kevin need to be friends 🙋🏻♀️ the dreams idea !! Insane! I’m also a photographer with ADHD too Hehehe
You have a friend here! ❤
unfortunately the diagnosis thing will always be a problem because its so pricey, i understand the use of a formal diagnosis, but its so inaccessible especially in today's age
Found myself nodding together with you guys when Irene was talking about the greater benefits of a diagnosis to all neurodivergent people-(understandably) nobody ever really talks about this. Also Kevin’s speech at the end really struck me, especially as someone who doesn’t usually get moved by what people say. It was exactly what I needed to hear right now, especially as I’ve been coming to terms with being autistic a bit easier and faster than ADHD. I hope to see more of Kevin on your channel, I could really listen to you two for hours✨
I'm so glad I found your channel! I'm 28, I was diagnosed with depression at 26 and ADHD and Endometriosis last year and your content is just the hug that I needed right now ❤
I would absolutely love a new section in your channel where you two star a podcast discussing neurodivergent life 🙆❤
On another note, I resonated so hard with what kevin said about knowing what you must do to achieve x thing but not be able to bring yourself to do it, losing trust in yourself and feeling doomed. Thats exactly what i told the psychologist i had a couple years ago, a year prior to discover my audhd and getting a diagnosis. My then psychologist had no idea (and neither did I) that all the problems I talked about were screaming autism and adhd. He was making me do calendars, lists and homeworks I never managed to actually do and just ended up feeling worst about myself.
Also, the psychiatrist i went to wanted to prescribe me ritalin (which is what I wanted) AND antidepressants(which I didn't want because im convinced that my anxiety and depression are direct consequences of my adhd struggles). He tried to convinced me but I was very adamant about not wanting to take them. I had to advocate hard for myself and also ny partner helped and the doctor finally agreed.
I was diagnosed last year with ASD at 43 and i have 2 sons who are also autistic....I swear we all need a Kevin in our lives 😊 and Yes!!! Absolute more Kevin please 😊
Haven't finished the video yet, but i need to overshare a bit. I feel discouraged and angry, not only by my adhd, but by the lack of care I've received from schools, my primary physician, my parents, my workplaces, the health care in general ! WHY EVERYTHING HAS TO BE HARD ?! WHY DO I HAVE TO FIGHT TOOTH AND NAILS TO FUCKING RECEIVE CARE !? I'm 32 yo woman, living in Canada, got diagnosed with ADHD at 28. I've suffered with anxiety and depression since childhood, I've had learning difficulties my whole life. I was 5 and my professors were already telling my parents something was wrong with me yet my primary physician rejected to refer me for investigation by telling i had a bad temper/character. I had so much trouble at school, dropped out than returned but everything takes me longer to accomplish. Got laid off twice in the last 3 years, can't afford therapy, don't qualify for disability, I'm being gaslight by my primary physician even when i tell him i have suicidal ideation. I'm so fucking angry.
I cover up my pain with humor all the time
This is a big ask, but you are so good at articulating these things. Would you ever consider making a video for neurodivergent people to show friends to explain our needs and wants emotionally, as well as why we do certain things. I feel like it is very hard to tell someone that you cannot do the things that they can, but that you still want to be loved.
When it switched from Kevin to Tyler the Creator I swear I could barely notice the difference in voice 💀💀💀💀 Kevin has a nice commercial voice like the Allstate guy
This is great…I’m a storyteller too 😂 and I will beat the story right into the ground. If your friend reads audiobooks….I would read them! What a beautiful voice. What was the question???😂😂😂
Thank you I appreciate it!
Both of yalls skin is glowing beautiful. I watch your videos because you have a calm and honest vibe or aura in your videos. It feels personal watching your videos like it's a prerecorded facetime, whether the topic is heavy or light and for amusement I always love watching your videos.
As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago at 30 and is currently being assessed for other issues such as autism and anxiety, I can not explain how helpful it has been to receive proper diagnosis, tools and framework to, basically, exist. There are still some issues with which I struggle, but being medicated and more aware of the source/cause of some of my challenges allows me to be so much more compassionate and understanding with myself as well as much more present for the people I love, especially when they need support facing similar challenges. I was given other diagnosis over the prior years (bipolar, depression/anxiety and PTSD), but no medical or therapeutic protocol has helped me in terms of mood, proprioception and basic functioning as significantly as the ones aimed at ADHD patients. I do believe I suffer from anxiety and have repeatedly been "peer-diagnosed" by friends on the autism spectrum, so I am hoping the neuropsychological evaluation will give me more insight into myself, so that I can finally perhaps be independent and healthy.
I’m AuDHD and I can relate to Kevin sm. I am a bit more introverted though (kinda like an introverted extrovert lol.) But yea meds can be a wild ride. I had to go through 3 different meds before finding the right one at #4. I also tried Wellbutrin 1st and that messed me up so badly. I developed this debilitating muscle pain and lost so much of my upper body strength because of it. Even though I only took it for a week, my body didn’t go back to normal for a whole ass month.
Goodluck to everyone on their med journey and sending all my fellow ADHD/AuDHD ppl a huge hug. It’s tough in this NT world. ❤
I SO relate to the executive function challenges. I have had seasons of great professional success, but after my divorce I lost the woman who complimented my ADHD deficits. I have been wandering through this life struggling with depression and alcoholism. I feel like a Peter Pan who never grew up. I grew up being called a Hypersensitive Space Cadet, and nothing has really changed.
I'm great at making plans without subsequent execution. Thank God for stories like these - I'm not alone. Thank you Irene for the work you do. I sense a great year coming.
It’s like watching the two sides of me talk to each other 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes I like to think Irene and I compliment each other hahaha
You guys really do it cracks me up to see you two together making videos🤍
adhd, dyslexia, anxiety and depression sufferer here.
"we have to thrive off our creativity to survive" its so fucking true. I cant concentrate on my creativity even though its what I love to do. I really just feel like I shouldnt be here anymore because I cant support myself and all I do is burden neurotypicals at work. they all judge me and tell me im stupid even though i put my heart and soul into trying. keep in mind ive done simple jobs like hospitality, retail and salon assistance.
This world belongs to people who are different too. we all have to work, and those of us who look normal but arent have too hard of a time getting on disability employment and usally dont get it.
being an ethnic young woman doesnt help either. the only compliment I get is on my body, and ive had a few coworkers say behind my back and even to my face that im too stupid to be sucsessful in life and I should just be an s worker. Im genuinely starting to belive its the only thing I have going for me, and that it is the onto way. but id never do that.
bit of a trauma dump but I always love hearing peoples situations because I feel less alone in the world, so if ur the same, I feel you.
This convo hit SO hard for me! I was just diagnosed last fall and had a VERY unsuccessful attempt with ADHD medication. My side effects were so bad that I have a prescription for a different med but honestly don’t know if it’s worth trying. It took me years before I got to my diagnosis (was previously diagnosed with GAD/depression in my early 20s, I’m approaching later 20s now). I developed a lot of coping skills through the years to keep me employed and take care of myself, but now I’m finding that I kind of overdo it and that’s led to a ton of anxiety and self-loathing. It’s truly a process and it’s refreshing to hear folks around my age talking about their similar struggles. Much love to you both!
This was so helpful, thank you! You should do a spinoff show with Kevin. I'd watch the shit out of a 3-camera sitcom with the two of you.
I relate to pretty much everything in this video. I’ve been feeling like I have ADHD as well but I’m scared to suggest this to my parents. I don’t want to be invalidated. The more I learn about it I strongly feel like I have inattentive ADHD.
If you’ve done the research and you feel like you know yourself enough to come to that conclusion, don’t let anyone tell you who you are and aren’t. Listen to your gut! There are always going to be people who invalidate us and dismiss our concerns. So it’s important to be your biggest advocate 💕
I love how Irene is inclusive with her editing for people who are neurodivergent. :)
21:12 Almost like mind reading, I just shared this saying 'this is so relatable I could cry" then he says all these things.
i’m turning 18 years old in 3 months i have been diagnosed with adhd at 15 i have been so heavily bullied for my neurodivergent traits from my peers and adults/guardians/teachers/family growing up i have so much internalised ableism its so hard and frustrating how much i want to be myself and believe in myself but i have no idea how to teach my body and brain that im good enough. your videos help me so much its such a relief to be seen like this especially by adults when i’ve thought my whole life i was the problem and no one in this world is like this
I'm self diagnosed ADHD and autism, and being neurodivergent as a adult is so fucking taxing. The to do list feels never ending and relentless
At 16:00 I can 100% agree on the damage the 'positive content' can have. I have just found out I'm adhd (and also autistic). 2 years ago I left the religion my family brought me up in- Law of Attraction. The basic concept is "you are 100% responsible for your reality and all you attract." It's a broken, disturbing message for anyone who lives outside a standard, white neurotypical life. It's done me a lot of trauma I've only just started to unpack. Take all that stuff with a grain of salt and remember your values, that's all I can say.
I'm so happy to see Kevin again - your friendship is so special. Really needed the reminder at the end that we're not failures and can thrive in our own way as ND people. Loved this!! ❤
the physical anxiety and super crazy highs and lows emotionally on stimulants omg it’s so true.. like it was so helpful in terms of productivity but ya i couldn’t keep going w the physical anxiety, esp as eating was already soso hard for me w autism and extreme sensory issues around eating.
i love the energy of both of you together!!! i recently started meds for adhd and really appreciate hearing about others experiences ❤️
also just wanted to say that i relate so much to the anxiety that comes from stimulants - i started a different type of meds (still a stimulant) after being on an amphetamine, and will say that switching medications has made a huge difference! although i agree so much that we shouldn’t have to take meds in order to keep up with this unsustainable pace of living.
Hi, I've been really struggling with my mental health lately as a 23 year old with undiagnosed ADHD. This video really cheered me up and made me feel less alone. I feel seen. Thank you both so much :) I love your channel!
Please please please can you guys do videos together regularly🥹 You are both a dream combo. I feel like I’m going to watch this on my bad days as it was so calming. thank you❤
I understand your point about how more neurodivergent people getting diagnosed would lead to better representation. However there are some disadvantages to getting diagnosed, too. Could you maybe do a video about that? The legal ramifications of course differ across countries. Would be interesting to compare.
Another video idea would be how ChatGPT (or similar) could help autistic people. I have used it for formulating birthday wishes or to figure out appropriate responses in different situations. Maybe you could make a video testing it out for yourself.
I just want Kevin to talk me to sleep. I love his buttery smooth voice. Great video
Seeing more of Kevin would be amazing! Also side note - Kevin’s voice is amazing
This video is so funny and relatable!! I wanna see Kevin more! I also have the holy trinity of depression, adhd, and generalized anxiety.
I am being medicated for all of it and IM still not able to get my executive function in order because the medication can only do SO much..But it feels good to hear a similar experience from another creative thats going thru the same thing as me (been unemployed for a year now) and it truly is crippling.
I’m glad to see some discuss how neurotypical peoples approach to self help and motivation ultimately comes off as shaming to a neurodivergent person. It’s a gross “if I can do it you can too” mentality that doesn’t work because you don’t have the same brain it won’t work for you.
Wow. I'm literally going through this RIGHT NOW. I JUST got diagnosed with ADHD at 32 years old.. and everyone talks about how great Adderall is for it.. but my Psychiatrist put me on Welbutrin first. I told her a month later it wasn't working AT ALL for me, so she decided to just up the doseage! 😭 It still doesn't work. I can't wait til next week when she tells me she's putting me on a different med that's not adderal. 😒
Yeeees I love Kevin so much, and love to see your friendship. It would be awesome to see him more on your channel!
I did not cry during Kevins ending message 😭
I am also lying af
This is basically the best video I've came across in many years; I mean, THE FEELS (I'm AuDHD, late diagnosed).
I'm so glad you two are friends! Thank you for existing, Irene. You've been a light for my nebulous days.
I’m so thankful I came across this! Thank you to both of you 🖤
I couldn’t do Ritalin at all. I tried it for like a week and it was so intense. I never took more 10mg at a time or adderall ir. I’m not on it now and it’s hard. So hard but being on it was hard too. I needed it to be able to eat and do basic things for such a long time and I wonder how long I’ll last without it. It’s expensive where I’m at and it’s always a problem that I go in knowing what I want. They call that “drug seeking behavior” 🙄
I'm listening your story Kevin and I wanna cry, it's so exhausting when therapists tell us that we talk to much or we are rumbling. That's the way we talk or explain ourselves!
thank you so much for this video. i graduated college about a month ago and i haven't been able to apply for a single job just cause it all feels like so much. i'm in a weird transition point where i’m looking for a new therapist (not a counselor, as much as i appreciate the man i worked with through my university he just wasn't trained to handle much of what i was going through) and despite the stigma surrounding it i'm pushing for diagnosis so that i can have proper long-term care so wish me luck!
oh my goodness, what was said at 16:50 was so validating. I grew up with a life coach as a teenager who instilled super toxic beliefs in me that made me feel so shit about myself. he kept telling me to try harder and "just do the thing" and damn that messed me up. his neurotypical approach to life just did not match what I needed but I thought I was just not trying hard enough
I want kevin to read me bedtime stories his voice is so luscious
I appreciate this discussion. I love Kevin’s energy. Y’all have lovely chemistry, it’s very infectious
I’m glad I got to watch 😊
I can’t even express how helpful this was. Thank you so much both of you. I honestly would be lost without this community ❤
Kev is so fun! More of him please 🙏
Omg, I’m only 4 minutes in but I absolutely ADORE Kevin! I wish I had a friend like Kevin. He’s amazing!! Also, AuDHD here. Diagnosed with ADHD at 11 yo but didn’t get treatment for it until I was 21 and really struggling at work. I was just diagnosed as Autistic back in February 2023 at the age of 44.
Really appreciated the honesty - it can all be so hard sometimes, and feeling less alone with it does help. It's appreciated. And, yes more Kevin content pleasee!!
I adore Kevin’s energy and I can see myself in him when he’s talking about what he’d like to do or accomplish in his future.
He lights up the room when he’s talking about his interests and it’s such a delight to watch/listen to.
To relate - I’d love to start getting into textile arts, and selling mixed media artwork, I want to become a florist, I want to learn all about coffee and tea and open up a neurodivergent, queer friendly cafe/community workshop. I love curating things to the finest of details, so I’d love to freelance produce or design for small events - or even do consulting to let people know how they could improve their strategy. I LOVE research, strategy and problem solving. I like asking why, figuring out how things work - and seeing if I can improve things/objects/spaces etc.
Kevin, you got this.
And thank you both for coming together to make and put out this video. 💜
ADHD is still not treated/labelled as a disability. Because of this, we cannot get/are denied the things that would help us thrive. We are told to take all sorts of medications before they give us the medications that actually work. Our subjective experience, just like being Autistic, is denied, because their objective experience of us ADHD &/or Autistic folks is to actively deny our subjective experience for their own observations, denying our emotions/existence as individuals with subjective experiences/etc. They see x amount of production, can't be disabled, etc. It needs to be qualified as a disability for it to be helped/ given accommodations/etc.
I've been doing some research & I'm starting to really lean/understand ADHD is a trauma response started at the most vulnerable stage, in the womb, that the birthing person going through trauma themselves is full of cortisol hormones, fear, anxiety, stress hormones etc., are being accidentally/unintentionally passed to the fetus. Often from emotional/mental abuse, prolonged throughout the pregnancy. The birthing person being forced to be aware, vigilant, afraid, fight, flight mode, every time the hear a foot step, a cough, the fridge door open, a sigh, someone coming home, a stranger talking to them in fear their abuser will think something/act/etc. & is also possibly why cptsd/extreme anxiety/ADHD, etc., are more prevalent in Autistics, who live a much more intense, subjective experience of the world already. I have had more success with ADHD treatment by doing cptsd treatments/therapies, but am still disabled entirely when I can't hold onto a thought that I am speaking out loud. I rely on others to reiterate to me what I was saying so that I can continue, & it can be about anything at any time, for no or any reason. It could be something I'm well versed in. & if I'm with another ADHDer, & I ask what did I just say, can you say it back to me so I remember, they can also forget the exact same way/thing. Then also either of us can have the opposite, an incredible memory of words, imagery, actions, places items are, very accurate memory recollection, etc., so reiterating back is a reflex I don't think about. I often defer to it being being Autistic that actually helps, mainly mimicry. A teacher will be talking, I will zone/can't hear/can't pay attention because it's not in the format that is set up for my success & not conducive to thriving in my learning/brain/etc., & the teacher will snap at me for not paying attention, & them then demanding I prove it. My mouth then says word for word the last several things they just said, & it's only then I learn what they were talking about, that I am hearing it for the first time even though I am saying it out loud back. Then they go I guess you were paying attention, which ADHDer's need to be protected from being accused of not paying attention when the thing they can't pay attention to is due to the style/set up/method of teaching, & not necessarily the subject itself. If ADHD is finally put under a disability, because of these & more problems, ADHDer's can have more resources available & teachers taught how to use multpile methods of teaching, which should already be standard. ADHD classified under a disability means it is not on the disabled person to learn what the teacher is teaching in a manner of which they cannot learn, but on the system/teachers when it's in a format/way that the different learner/ADHDer/Autist/ND/etc., can absorb/learn. Autism being a disability diagnosis even while some are not as or not at all disabled by their autistic traits & don't consider it a disability to them, still need to be recognized as having a disability to get the help/accommodations they need/already have in place to help the Autistic thrive. ADHD needs to be treated as a disability too, not a disorder, not a dysfunction, but rather the disability it is. & is crippling, causes job loss, physical/mental inabilities, emotional distress/trauma, in fight/flight/freeze/fawn/flop response at all times. PTSD & CPTSD are diagnosed disabilities, ADHD can be just as disabling or more or different but still disabling & needing it to be understood as a disability as Autism, as PTSD, as so so so many other things are because when it is, the networks/job opportunities/schools/classes/etc., are then there to set you up for success. Instead of setting you up for failure, like putting you in a class with a teaching method that is not at all learn-able/absorb-able/memory-catching/maintainable. Describing ADHD as crippling speaks volumes, but being diagnosed as a disorder & not a disability means we can't get help/classes/jobs/etc., that we can thrive in. I don't feel disordered, I feel disabled. I don't have a deficit of attention, I have a surplus. Even the term attention deficit hyperactive disorder is inaccurate to the subjective experience of the ADHDer (especially Autist/ADHD, in favour for their objective one that others look at you & decide you have a deficit because you aren't giving them/one specific thing they want, instead of the subjective experience of the person hearing everything, hearing too many conversations, thinking about one thing & another & never stopping, background music in the head if there is silence, etc. The attention is plenty, & vast, not a deficit. That twists it to be the ADHDer's fault for lacking something they aren't lacking, but rather the world is unwilling to accommodate/understand/help thrive/etc.
Omg I had to pause the video and take a break when you mentioned that too much Adderall can lead to psychosis because that explains so much...
I have never felt more seen than watching your videos... they give me hope..
Wellbutrin can treat depression AND ADHD, but at a higher dose than Wellbutrin is normally given.
How high a dose does it need to be to be effective for ADHD?
AuDHD here. I’m employed though family but I do my best in my free time to get skills that I could use freelance because if anything happened to our business there is absolutely no way that I can go back into the corporate world again and deal with all the snakes and backstabbers that your colleagues and managers end up being when you can’t meet their expectations
Hey ive been really loving your channel, kevin is funny too. Your very articulate and oftentimes you say things that i havent been able to put into words, so thank you for that! Im just startng out as a teeny youtuber, but I want to spread awareness as well I think its great to stick up for our commhnity, neurodivergence as a whole is very misunderstood! ( I actually mentioned you in one of my videos) but I dont quite have a large following lol. My involvement into the social media game has been very new to me ! Lol
Kevin's voice 🫠🥰
Oh, great video btw lol
I stg every video on this channel blows my mind, makes me cry, makes me feel so seen 😭
its so important to hear from other people with ADHD, it can be so discouraging when all you hear are neurotypical people succeed at things you are actively struggling with.
Im in my 5th year of university (pandemic + untreated ADHD = a lot of unfinished classes) and my gf is neurotypical and a really good student (multiple research projects, conference presentations, scholarships etc.) Whenever I go to events with her friends I always feel a little bit terrible inside, because inevitably someone asks if im graduating/going to grad school/whatever and i just have to be like "no, my gpa is a 2.7 and I still have another year left" 🙃
Most of my friends also have ADHD and struggle with school so talking with them is really cathartic, but because we also all have ADHD we don't actually meet up very often.
Kev made the right choice for him, it sounds like. As a person with ADHD I struggled HARD with constant back and forth nausea and other brutal withdrawal symptoms while on my depression meds. Because I kept forgetting to take them even when I tried to keep track! Thankfully I found an as-needed depression med that doesn't build up in my system but still works for me.
I've been off the depression meds for a while, thanks to an ADHD med, but just recently got back on because of myriad stressors, a certain current geno event, and other things just putting me straight through the ringer. Always advocate for your own preferences guys. I think it's worth it. :)
Stimulant ADHD meds made my hands shake! I ended up on the non-stimulant Strattera. It was much much better. I can still have anxiety if I fall off the meds, but it's not hand shaking or as much physical anxiety. So still be cautious and try systems and tools for med reminders. Try to find what works for you and if your doctor isn't being receptive to that then they shouldn't be your doc!!
I would be very blessed to have you both as friends. Thank you for this video, it was so validating 🙏🏽Kevin I resonate with you so much, got my own grievance with how doctors use us like Guinea pigs for medication
Diagnosed 3yrs ago at 20 & coming to the end of my first job out of college because i can’t do a desk job. Hearing Kevin made me remember all of the things I’ve repressed to get through the job & reaffirms I’m not quitting out of weakness but because I’m strong at the things that were made for me. Would love to see him on again!
That is such a beautiful and warm way of looking at your circumstance. I love that so much. Thank you ❤️
this was a wonderful video!! thank you both for the laughs and insightful conversations! i would love to see kevin back for another video :) also as a person with adhd thank you for the kind message at the end - its true, we are not our struggles!
His mind is beautiful. Thank you so much for posting this! I recently realized I likely have ADHD and I saw so much of myself in this that I think it's time to seek an evaluation. This helped me see the beauty in how my brain works, and I also felt validated to hear my daily struggles mirrored back to me.
So happy I found your channel, I resonate with everything you say! ❤ Kevin is a whole a$$ vibe.
Exploring a lived experience this way really makes the complexities of having ADHD digestible 🤩 Awesome questions and answers!
Pllzzzzz Kevin is so relatable and I might actually remember his name (which usually is a struggle lol) 36:08
also my gender envy of his voice is real. Reminds me of my desire yet non commitment to start hormonal therapy just to get deeper toned voice. I'm a gender fluid.
Thank you all for this amazing conversation! Kevin's last words resonated so much for me. ❤❤❤
Similar story as Kevin BUT my psychiatrist is absolutely amazing. Went in for something unrelated but he looked at me for half an hour and did an on-the-spot screening for ADHD 😅 but also got the depression ticket. He told me he wasn't comfortable with prescribing me ADHD meds yet, he'd like to try anti-depressants first. They worked quite well, I didn't have major side effects either, but it didn't help with the ADHD symptoms entirely. My psychiatrist had said we'd talk about ADHD meds in May (of last year) again. We did. Since I still wasn't doing super - even with the anti-depressants he said we'd try ADHD meds. One week without anti-depressants and then started on the lowest dosage of Vyvanse. A few weekly check-ups later and on the right dosage I have never felt better or more like myself.
Kevin's psychiatrist, the second one, sounds perhaps a little overworked? They should notice and listen to their client when they say something isn't working for them. I hope he can find the right meds and a trusty psychiatrist!!!
We love u Irene and also your friend is clearly very cool. U guys rock
Thank you! So many people dont understand antidepressants need to be tapered.
My sister has ADHD, but didn't get a formal diagnosis (or accommodations for it) until College, because my mom thought it wasn't serious enough.
By contrast, I was formally diagnosed with "Autistic Disorder" (ASD) at age 3, and because my sister and I grew up in Rural Pennsylvania, the school district's "accommodations" were to have an aide hovering over me to prevent stimming and keep me focused on schoolwork via external prompting; to this day I can't tell if my Executive Dysfunction issues are just part of me being autistic, the result of trauma from my school's "Autism Support" (which is my current hypothesis), or something else.
Part of me is actually _jealous_ of my sister for not getting formally diagnosed until she was an adult.