So fun story! I managed to get myself a job in London for a week, where I knew I would be working with two other people, but had no clue who they would be. So I'm chatting to them and mention that my hobby in life is watching RuPauls Drag Race and attending drag shows, and turns out this girl I'm working with also watches RPDR. So obviously I'm like "you know if you like drag race, you should really watch this youtube channel called movie bitches-" TURNS OUT SHE'S SUBSCRIBED. Bonding ensued. So out of 20,000 subscribers I managed to find one on the other side of the country from where I usually live. Move Bitches- bringing people together. P.s. Bola if you see this, hey girl hey, glad I met you :)
Andrew: I'm not seeing any of the Dark Universe movies! Avaryl: what if Michael Fassbender was wolfman and he was like "oops I'm naked in the woods again" Andrew: *reconsiders previous statement*
Love your reviews. Avaryl, have you ever thought of becoming a movie critic reviewer for a newspaper/magazine? Your historical knowledge of movies and TV shows both popular and obscure is astounding. I'm 64 and I'm consistently blown away by your knowledge of media that was from my childhood and even earlier. You have so much to say and you say it with so much wit and intelligence that anyone would love to read your reviews. Love the two of you. Keep up the good work!
Finally you guys get to experience my pain. Also the moment Russel Crowe said that he's Dr. Jekyll I thought "Alright this is just his name, they can't be doing this, this is not what they're doing"
I haven't even seen the movie, because I try to stay away from terrible movies, and it looks like Once Upon a Time did Jeckyll and Hide better than this movie did.
Random fact: Tom Curise was considered to play the lead in the 1999 Mummy. Now if he was the right age to play the lead damn near 20 years ago, who in their right mind would think he was still the man for the job in 2017?
I watched this yesterday and my first thoughts were "Andrew and Avaryl would absolutely hate this - I wonder if they reviewed it yet...." OH HAPPY DAYS 😍
I totally agree the whole movie was just an ego boost for Tom Cruise. The blonde lady is way too hot for him.. I was CRINGING through the entire movie... It's sad
That fifth element review just reminded me of how much movies suck right now. They are just a collection of great names and great effects/sets but there are NO STORIES, NO CONCEPTS? "What is this movie about" and "why did they make this and not something else"? I think that big budgets are also making studios push movies to theaters even when they suck! You can't just trash 400 million dollars, but WHY MAKE IT THAT EXPENSIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Hollywood is a mess. And so many great films are coming from EU and Asia these days, I think we're about to see cinemas die all together, because you know hollywood is not gonna let foreign films be headliners. Netflix all the way!
Can't wait for y'all to rip this shit to shreds. I already knew it was terrible from the trailer. Lmao!!!!! Movie Bitches is way more entertaining ripping this flick a new one than the actual movie.
Just gotta say, I have had a really shitty past few days and today was by far the worst of them. Thank you for uploading and giving me a reason to laugh and smile.
The very first sentence Ewan MacGregor said in Fargo I immediately thought 'Oh no...what is this accent...? This is definitely not a Minnesotan actor...oh wow, that's Ewan MacGregor?!' why, just why would you hire someone who can't do a Minnesotan accent to play two characters in a show like Fargo?
Kinda disappointed that during your '90s video montage that you didn't include Janet Jackson's "Love Will Never Do Without You" video, but I understand. You only have so much time. You guy are so much fun and have great chemistry together! #Allegedly :)
When I was little I would watch the mummy returns in our car using a portable VHS player (modern at the time). So often it would slide off the middle seat and fall on our poor dog. Then we'd have to reset the VHS player because it would be frozen. Anyways, I remember watching and rewinding the fabulous gold mask fight scene which my brother grew very, very tired of haha. I think drag race should have a gold Egyptian mortal combat runway challenge actually. I also remember they had a preview clip from the scorpion king at the beginning of the movie where the rock is being pursued and comes upon some noble girl bathing and then they drain the bath and slide down a tube or something. Besides the mummy we also watched Austin powers and bring it on a lot in the car.
i paused this review half way through after the recommendation to go and watch monster squad. definitely need a retro review of it now. it was equal parts terrible and amazing. it hit every single cliche that an 80s middle school monster hunting film with a magical amulet and a side plot about the cops trying to balance their home lives with the chaos at work that i needed.
Why is the girl who murdered her dad and father, made a deal to destroy the earth, the most likeable, and seems much more human than the "hero" tom cruise and you end up rooting for her more
Tom Cruise is clearly the villain in Jerry Maguire and a terrible person who use that poor woman and her child. I asked myself ''Am I suppose to like this guy?'' And that pretended crying scene in the end, just awful, I said: ''I am done, throw this asshole out." He is a terrible person in that movie, but Tom Cruise has a charm so even when is the villain and a terrible person, everyone thinks: what an amazing man!
I watched this movie for work and thought it was literal garbage. I actually fell asleep the first time I watched it. However, the one scene where "archaeologist" Jenny was yelling at "young, virile, and sexy" Tom Cruise to kick the mummy's ass. "Get her! Get her, Nick! Kick her ass!" and then he gets thrown across the forest. 😂
9:02 - 9:20 Avaryl is just the best friend you could hope for when it comes to discussing movies. Also, I walked out of this movie after the first fifteen minutes and got drunk with my boyfriend. I think that was the right choice.
A big part of the reason this movie didn't work was because of Tom's "friends" (you know what I'm saying) interfering with production so that Tommy boy comes across how they want him to. Which is something they do in all his movies now.
The next Dark Universe movie is a remake of "The Bride of Frankestein" and will be directed by Bill Condon sooo it maight be a delightful mess but I doubt it
I rewatched this movie. I wish I hadn’t but I did. They could have fixed this by getting rid of monster mash inc or at least introducing it at the very end and making Jenny 1st on the call sheet. She should have been the lead and POV of the story. You could have even kept the two asshole but make her the chosen vessel. I also wish that Michael Fassbender played Tom Cruise’s character instead of doing Assassin’s Creed.
I may be dating myself, ca. past years when I was not even alive, ie: classic film era, (40's/50's), but the way you two describe the script of this movie's thirst for somehow bringing back Tom Cruise's relevance(?), yeah, let's go with 'relevance', with all the 'You're so sexy, you're so young, blah, blah, blah...' really just seems so in line with something I can imagine happening during that time in the vein of attempting to bring back someone else's also has-been career. Of course that's something that's been done in the days since about umpteen-plus times, but your description of that here, just really painted SUCH a specific picture for me. Anyway, love that this movie sucked, because for me, the try-hards make for the best reviews. Keep doing what you do! Thanks A&A!!
The answer to your question, Russell Crowe became a drunk and didn't have RDJR' s charm to make up for it. He was fantastic in The Nice Guys, but that's seems to have been it for recent activity.
GUYS SCEINTOLOGY IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER. Sorry for the shouting but every time there is nonsense in Tom Cruise movie that cult is behind it. He was a producer on this movie so I am surprised that the bad in bed joke made it through.
@ 17:29 reference to 90s music videos, the best. That was the hardest I have ever laughed, love you guys #FuckYouMovie I could tell from the trailer that this movie was going to be trash, Tom Cruise shouldn't be in it Missing Brendan Fraser
Is this a repost? I feel like you guys did this already. I remember cause you compared it to Brendan Fraser's version which one of you like way better than 2017. Am I going coo-coo?
Are you guys planning on reviewing the Emoji Movie? I know it's already getting shit on, but I need to hear you two rant about it for 30 minutes! Thanks cunts!
I know that you're not going to see this but i just wanted to ask if you've ever watched shortfilms like Septem or let it be on RUclips I would never expect a review just thought you might enjoy them but idk love you guys btw
Kinda sad to see you that you didn't like this film. I found it extremely entertaining. But, I couldn't agree with you more about Tom Cruise - wrong on so many levels. I appreciate this effort though. I missed this kind of blockbusters that doesn't have anything to do with any kind of fandom or superhero universe. I am really exhausted by films like Wonderwoman and Captain America. I see no reason why people shouldn't watch this with a huge bucket of popcorn and a cold beer during a hot summer night. Other than that, cheers to Crowe's #method_acting as Hyde. XD
Before we start, I just have to say that I watched a whole 30 sec Jumanji propaganda because of you guys. This is the amount of respect I have for you. I did this to help you!! F@cking Jumanji!! hahahaha I hope YT pays you
"I mean dont go around killing babies. But in the context of the story, just kill that baby"
Avaryl is the best
So fun story! I managed to get myself a job in London for a week, where I knew I would be working with two other people, but had no clue who they would be. So I'm chatting to them and mention that my hobby in life is watching RuPauls Drag Race and attending drag shows, and turns out this girl I'm working with also watches RPDR. So obviously I'm like "you know if you like drag race, you should really watch this youtube channel called movie bitches-" TURNS OUT SHE'S SUBSCRIBED. Bonding ensued. So out of 20,000 subscribers I managed to find one on the other side of the country from where I usually live.
Move Bitches- bringing people together.
P.s. Bola if you see this, hey girl hey, glad I met you :)
LOVE this! (Also love that I misread it as "boning ensued")
Can confirm this is true! Hahaha
Glad I met you too
Rik me too lmfaooo
Andrew: I'm not seeing any of the Dark Universe movies!
Avaryl: what if Michael Fassbender was wolfman and he was like "oops I'm naked in the woods again"
Andrew: *reconsiders previous statement*
My dream is that one day someone will accidentally use one of your edited movie posters for promotional purposes for the actual movie
The Monster Mash people. LMFAO I've never laughed so hard in my life. Avaryl really is 90 years old. #coolyourjets
Love your reviews. Avaryl, have you ever thought of becoming a movie critic reviewer for a newspaper/magazine? Your historical knowledge of movies and TV shows both popular and obscure is astounding. I'm 64 and I'm consistently blown away by your knowledge of media that was from my childhood and even earlier. You have so much to say and you say it with so much wit and intelligence that anyone would love to read your reviews. Love the two of you. Keep up the good work!
I don't know why I adore your reviews, but I just love watching you two having a Kiki and rant about movies.
Finally you guys get to experience my pain.
Also the moment Russel Crowe said that he's Dr. Jekyll I thought "Alright this is just his name, they can't be doing this, this is not what they're doing"
With Avaryl's love over The Mummy (1999), I was ready for a Mummy Dearest moment!
NO MORE BANDAGES EVER
Don't curse me fellas!
I love how long it took Andrew to laugh at the Monster Mash thing 😂
Also, you guys should review the short film The Strange Thing About The Johnsons 😂
I haven't even seen the movie, because I try to stay away from terrible movies, and it looks like Once Upon a Time did Jeckyll and Hide better than this movie did.
there's a lot of things OOT did better than the movies, like belle's dress for example :D
#AndrewAbandonsTheMovie made me Latrice laugh
Random fact: Tom Curise was considered to play the lead in the 1999 Mummy. Now if he was the right age to play the lead damn near 20 years ago, who in their right mind would think he was still the man for the job in 2017?
I watched this yesterday and my first thoughts were "Andrew and Avaryl would absolutely hate this - I wonder if they reviewed it yet...."
OH HAPPY DAYS 😍
Yay...I love it when you don't like the movie. So...I love almost all your reviews :)
Andrew's delayed laugh at Monster Mash was flipping hilarious hahaha
I totally agree the whole movie was just an ego boost for Tom Cruise. The blonde lady is way too hot for him.. I was CRINGING through the entire movie... It's sad
i thought the same thing when I saw rhe Book of Amun Ra. I was like "WTF is Tom Cruise now the descendant of Brendan Fraser's character?"
I clicked so fast i got carpal tunnel
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage, *Carpal Tunnel*
samseventeen U WATCH UHNNN
monster_ball21 BITCH EVERYBODY WATCHES UHNNN
*Immediately starts searching for the Jekyll and Hyde musical*
That fifth element review just reminded me of how much movies suck right now. They are just a collection of great names and great effects/sets but there are NO STORIES, NO CONCEPTS? "What is this movie about" and "why did they make this and not something else"? I think that big budgets are also making studios push movies to theaters even when they suck! You can't just trash 400 million dollars, but WHY MAKE IT THAT EXPENSIVE IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Hollywood is a mess. And so many great films are coming from EU and Asia these days, I think we're about to see cinemas die all together, because you know hollywood is not gonna let foreign films be headliners. Netflix all the way!
Can't wait for y'all to rip this shit to shreds. I already knew it was terrible from the trailer. Lmao!!!!! Movie Bitches is way more entertaining ripping this flick a new one than the actual movie.
You know it's gonna be a good review when they're already messes in the first few seconds! Love y'all.
Just gotta say, I have had a really shitty past few days and today was by far the worst of them. Thank you for uploading and giving me a reason to laugh and smile.
Drew Griffith Sorry you've been having a rough time, hope things look up!
The very first sentence Ewan MacGregor said in Fargo I immediately thought 'Oh no...what is this accent...? This is definitely not a Minnesotan actor...oh wow, that's Ewan MacGregor?!' why, just why would you hire someone who can't do a Minnesotan accent to play two characters in a show like Fargo?
Kinda disappointed that during your '90s video montage that you didn't include Janet Jackson's "Love Will Never Do Without You" video, but I understand. You only have so much time. You guy are so much fun and have great chemistry together! #Allegedly :)
When I was little I would watch the mummy returns in our car using a portable VHS player (modern at the time). So often it would slide off the middle seat and fall on our poor dog. Then we'd have to reset the VHS player because it would be frozen. Anyways, I remember watching and rewinding the fabulous gold mask fight scene which my brother grew very, very tired of haha. I think drag race should have a gold Egyptian mortal combat runway challenge actually. I also remember they had a preview clip from the scorpion king at the beginning of the movie where the rock is being pursued and comes upon some noble girl bathing and then they drain the bath and slide down a tube or something.
Besides the mummy we also watched Austin powers and bring it on a lot in the car.
the bit about Fassy naked in the woods was so fucking funny
My heart's happy because you've been posting so many reviews lately!
I can't wait for "Russel Crowe & The Monster Mash Crew"
i paused this review half way through after the recommendation to go and watch monster squad. definitely need a retro review of it now. it was equal parts terrible and amazing. it hit every single cliche that an 80s middle school monster hunting film with a magical amulet and a side plot about the cops trying to balance their home lives with the chaos at work that i needed.
I always watch your reviews of movies that I haven't even seen because I love y'all so much omg
I really hope your channel grows and grows. I found you guys when you had 2,000 subs, can't believe you have 20,200 subs. Sending love from Ireland
Why is the girl who murdered her dad and father, made a deal to destroy the earth, the most likeable, and seems much more human than the "hero" tom cruise and you end up rooting for her more
She's just Jenny from the block 🤷🏽♀️
Tom Cruise is clearly the villain in Jerry Maguire and a terrible person who use that poor woman and her child. I asked myself ''Am I suppose to like this guy?'' And that pretended crying scene in the end, just awful, I said: ''I am done, throw this asshole out." He is a terrible person in that movie, but Tom Cruise has a charm so even when is the villain and a terrible person, everyone thinks: what an amazing man!
I watched this movie for work and thought it was literal garbage. I actually fell asleep the first time I watched it. However, the one scene where "archaeologist" Jenny was yelling at "young, virile, and sexy" Tom Cruise to kick the mummy's ass. "Get her! Get her, Nick! Kick her ass!" and then he gets thrown across the forest. 😂
9:02 - 9:20 Avaryl is just the best friend you could hope for when it comes to discussing movies.
Also, I walked out of this movie after the first fifteen minutes and got drunk with my boyfriend. I think that was the right choice.
I hated literally every second Russell Crowe was on screen. He's going full (late period) Brando.
i didnt even watch the movie but you guys are so funny♥ PS still waiting for rpdr s3 (sry for being annoying but i live for your reviews of rpdr)
I audibly screamed when Avaryl started confrontation form Jekyll and Hyde
omg PLEASE deconstruct the JEKYLL AND HYDE catastrophe with David Hasselhoff!
Can you please review Okja? It's on Netflix and has Tilda Swinton!
A big part of the reason this movie didn't work was because of Tom's "friends" (you know what I'm saying) interfering with production so that Tommy boy comes across how they want him to. Which is something they do in all his movies now.
Nearly spat my tea out at 'Monster Mash' 😂
The next Dark Universe movie is a remake of "The Bride of Frankestein" and will be directed by Bill Condon sooo it maight be a delightful mess but I doubt it
I rewatched this movie. I wish I hadn’t but I did. They could have fixed this by getting rid of monster mash inc or at least introducing it at the very end and making Jenny 1st on the call sheet. She should have been the lead and POV of the story. You could have even kept the two asshole but make her the chosen vessel. I also wish that Michael Fassbender played Tom Cruise’s character instead of doing Assassin’s Creed.
I may be dating myself, ca. past years when I was not even alive, ie: classic film era, (40's/50's), but the way you two describe the script of this movie's thirst for somehow bringing back Tom Cruise's relevance(?), yeah, let's go with 'relevance', with all the 'You're so sexy, you're so young, blah, blah, blah...' really just seems so in line with something I can imagine happening during that time in the vein of attempting to bring back someone else's also has-been career. Of course that's something that's been done in the days since about umpteen-plus times, but your description of that here, just really painted SUCH a specific picture for me. Anyway, love that this movie sucked, because for me, the try-hards make for the best reviews. Keep doing what you do! Thanks A&A!!
Just re-watch The Mummy (1999).
Yes to watching Monster Squad! Please do a retro review on it. #WolfmansGotNards
* Katya's voice *
"Mother... I'm naked in the woods again."
The answer to your question, Russell Crowe became a drunk and didn't have RDJR' s charm to make up for it. He was fantastic in The Nice Guys, but that's seems to have been it for recent activity.
hahahahahahhaha this is one of your best reviews yet hahaha. you guys should watch crappy ego projects more often XD.
Brendan Fraser now has an academy award for "The Whale", does that count as him trying for a second.
GUYS SCEINTOLOGY IS ALWAYS THE ANSWER. Sorry for the shouting but every time there is nonsense in Tom Cruise movie that cult is behind it. He was a producer on this movie so I am surprised that the bad in bed joke made it through.
and here I was excited for this remake. Thank you for saving me the money and time.
@ 17:29 reference to 90s music videos, the best. That was the hardest I have ever laughed, love you guys #FuckYouMovie I could tell from the trailer that this movie was going to be trash, Tom Cruise shouldn't be in it Missing Brendan Fraser
By the thumbnail I already know I'm going to enjoy this review😩
Now you have to review the original Boris Karloff "The Mummy!"
Asking the serious questions. I'm here for it. #whowasthegeologist?
Bwahahaha.. her name is..Ahh num num num
Ok but she was an Egyptian princess but they buried her in Iraq???
Is this a repost? I feel like you guys did this already. I remember cause you compared it to Brendan Fraser's version which one of you like way better than 2017. Am I going coo-coo?
We're all glad they never made that Jekyll & Hyde movie with Russell Crowe...
yall so need to do a fan meeting i just want to hang out with you guys and have a good laugh!
I died at Oksana Baiul
Oh my, you guys should review Dr. Jekyll and Ms. Hyde with Sean Young and Tim Daly. It is just a bonkers 90s movie.
You should review Agora. Rachel Weisz has some of the best "worst" lines. " I give you the blood of my cycle"....
I wish the Dark Universe was over... but in 2019 we're getting Bride of Frankenstein, so we're not that lucky.
Russell Crowe turned into John Goodman did you see Thor 4
You guys need a naked fassy shirt with the quote, oh no, I'm naked in the woods again!
Please review the Jekyll and Hyde David Hasselhoff Broadway show I would have so much fun watching that and seeing your reactions to his "choices"
American Gangster was a great Russel Crow movie, and it made money, sooooo your joke kinda fell flat on that one #PleaseDoBetter
Are you guys planning on reviewing the Emoji Movie? I know it's already getting shit on, but I need to hear you two rant about it for 30 minutes! Thanks cunts!
Please do Girl's Trip next
If you watch HBO's documentary Going Clear, the assumptions of Tom Cruise being manic and needing to be constantly validated isn't far from the truth.
This movie felt like it was written 20 years ago AND was casted at the exact same time.
But that link to that Tom Cruise running montage 💯😏👌 Thanks for another great review cunts!
I know that you're not going to see this but i just wanted to ask if you've ever watched shortfilms like Septem or let it be on RUclips I would never expect a review just thought you might enjoy them but idk love you guys btw
"Just kill that baby" favorite quote so far!!!
You guys are a little too good at coming up with infanticide ideas on the fly...
This version of the mummy has an identity crisis it doesn't if wants to have action
Horror or comedy it's all over the place
Kinda sad to see you that you didn't like this film. I found it extremely entertaining. But, I couldn't agree with you more about Tom Cruise - wrong on so many levels. I appreciate this effort though. I missed this kind of blockbusters that doesn't have anything to do with any kind of fandom or superhero universe. I am really exhausted by films like Wonderwoman and Captain America. I see no reason why people shouldn't watch this with a huge bucket of popcorn and a cold beer during a hot summer night.
Other than that, cheers to Crowe's #method_acting as Hyde. XD
I love the Jekyll and Hyde musical!
Well done with just having fun with life!
AHHHH! Fassbender naked in the wood! I WANT TO SEE THAT!!!!!! fuck the dark universe LOL
She was on fire this episode! The shad was real and I love it !!!
WOW. I was gonna say just watch The monster squad movie . It's better then this. But you said it before I could finish
Avaryl, why are you lying about Jekyll and Hyde the musical? Andrew is your sister. Don't do that to her. You know it's garbage banana pants
How come you guys never did a review of A Quiet Passion? Elle? #please
I FUCKING LOVE YOU BITCHES!
great review.
tom cruise is horrible , cant wait to see you guys' Top Gun: Maverick review.
Fateful Findings, bad movie review? Can that be a thing please
You guys should do a review for wish upon it was so fuckin hilarious even tho it tried to be scary. There's a lot to dissect in it. Lol
#monstermash #evil this review was better than the movie my day has been made
I watched that Drácula movie at the cinema
I know it came out a long time ago, but you guys should review Boss Baby, so I can see if you agree with me on how bad it is :)
Thank you for this! Confirming that horrible mess I sat through #fuckthismovie
Guys you should watch the latest King Kong movie!
Before we start, I just have to say that I watched a whole 30 sec Jumanji propaganda because of you guys. This is the amount of respect I have for you. I did this to help you!! F@cking Jumanji!! hahahaha I hope YT pays you