Alcohol and Queerness: A deep dive

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 17 дек 2024

Комментарии • 526

  • @Waterflame
    @Waterflame 8 месяцев назад +132

    Over 24 hours and no proper captions? 😭😭😭😭😭

    • @jessicaoutofthecloset
      @jessicaoutofthecloset  8 месяцев назад +221

      Thank you so much for flagging this, it's fixed now. The captions were ready at the same time as the video, but RUclips left them as a draft for some reason. Phew, thanks again!

    • @ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023
      @ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023 8 месяцев назад +12

      ​@@jessicaoutofthecloset FYI: also Just Icelandic had a similar caption no-show within the last few days.

    • @prabhjotsingh6835
      @prabhjotsingh6835 8 месяцев назад +5

      @@jessicaoutofthecloset THANK YOU!!! :D

    • @Waterflame
      @Waterflame 8 месяцев назад +7

      @@jessicaoutofthecloset Thank you! I love your videos, and the captions are so lovely. I just can't watch without them!

  • @jesslikescoffee24
    @jesslikescoffee24 8 месяцев назад +1301

    I’m still waiting on the rise of gay cafes ☕️ (queer cafes in actuality, but I love the rhyme of gay cafe). Bars are great for sensory seekers, but I want a ubiquitous place for sensory avoiders too.

    • @aosfs2924
      @aosfs2924 8 месяцев назад +65

      I very much support this but it would alas not work for me as I find cafes almost as overwhelming for some reason 😂

    • @mrpocock
      @mrpocock 8 месяцев назад +120

      queer quafe

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 8 месяцев назад +56

      ​@@mrpocock petition for this to be the new thing

    • @Hunterofartemischildofhades
      @Hunterofartemischildofhades 8 месяцев назад +28

      ​@@catdownthestreetconsider it signed.

    • @MOTHHMAN
      @MOTHHMAN 8 месяцев назад +36

      Yessss! This! I'm usually sensory avoidant when it comes to social settings, so a gay café sounds perfect for me❤

  • @cassandramiller4477
    @cassandramiller4477 8 месяцев назад +340

    We need queer coffee houses! Queer game stores! Queer bookstores! Places that aren't bars! We have one of the older lesbian bars in Seattle, a place for cis and trans women alike...and I hate bars, so it's really hard to want to hang out there.

    • @MissaBrevis
      @MissaBrevis 8 месяцев назад +17

      I was traveling recently, and saw there was a queer bookstore near where I was staying, with a flyer for an open game night ... and then when I went in it turned out to also be a bar? No loud music or lights or whatever, so it was fine on a sensory level, but as someone who mostly doesn't drink it still kind of felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. (I don't blame them, I'm sure that the money from alcohol sales subsidizes the rest of what they do, but it was still uncomfortable)

    • @nynomi
      @nynomi 8 месяцев назад +7

      There is a queer coffeehouse here in Rochester, NY, and there is also a restaurant that's queer-owned and very welcoming which serves mocktails in addition to alcohol (but it is a little pricey).

    • @missnaomi613
      @missnaomi613 8 месяцев назад +2

      This reminded me: My first apartment was right around the corner from a lesbian book store! Back then I thought I was 100% straight (💗💜💙) but I loved it!

    • @ohpurpled
      @ohpurpled 8 месяцев назад +6

      Sometimes I think about running a little shop selling hobbyist electronics/‘maker’ things …and also pride badges/flags/whatever.
      Such a shop wouldn't be big enough to host anything per se, but even so I like the idea of casually injecting some queerness in an unexpected place, and not just during July?
      Of course in practice I've too much neurospicy and too little money to ever actually do a shop, but do like the idea.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@ohpurpled _July_ ? 0_o? In the U.S. at least, *June* is Pride Month. Are you a baby gay, dear? Or is July Pride Month somewhere?

  • @LyingTube
    @LyingTube 8 месяцев назад +295

    I'm a teetotal autistic introvert so the heavy focus on noisy drinking environments for social interaction has been Rough.

    • @TheWanderingLPer
      @TheWanderingLPer 8 месяцев назад +13

      Preach

    • @meganlampa3293
      @meganlampa3293 8 месяцев назад +12

      Here,here. My husband and his work friends often go to noisy places where there's drinking, smoking and staying up late. So I'm yet to get to know a lot of his friends

    • @meganlampa3293
      @meganlampa3293 8 месяцев назад +13

      Also you put your head on your hands or on the table they kick you out. Come on I have Cerebral Palsy and I'm tired

    • @StefanKoran
      @StefanKoran 8 месяцев назад +9

      I feel you.. i tried.. it was.. not good. I like humans but not people.

    • @greenaum
      @greenaum 8 месяцев назад +3

      Hm yeah maybe there's room for a non-alcoholic meeting place. Thing is, gay clubs are often, unless they're for real music fanatics, there for hookups. And being drunk makes seduction, and being seduced, *SO* much easier! Hetero clubs aren't too much different, you can still have fun, but there's little point in conversation when you have to shout into someone's ear. Turn the sound down, dammit! Now, I know I'm old.
      I dunno where introverts meet friends and partners. I suppose Internet, but, that's just so second-class to real life, it's sortof awful! My autistic mate would probably be the county drinking champion if they had one. He enjoys socialising. He's fairly obviously "different" to talk to, but he's a good guy and can have fun, so people get on with him regardless.
      Teetotal, well they sell soft drinks. I wouldn't recommend socialising with a bunch of increasingly-drunk drunks, sober. About 8 or 9 you're gonna want to leave.
      What sort of tactics and tips do you have, Tubey?

  • @perelandrawaddle
    @perelandrawaddle 8 месяцев назад +351

    I'm so glad people are talking about how difficult it can be to navigate queer spaces as a sober person. Here in Vancouver, use of cocaine and fentynal are so prevalent many queer youths end up addicted and die very young. Especially Trans and Indigenous kids. Its very unfortunate and I think its a hard thing to find balance with. We have legalized weed long ago and possession of small amounts of illegal drugs are legal. There are illegal mushroom dispenseries everywhere that go unpatrolled and although I think criminalizing drugs is not the answer it worries me that there are almost no queer spaces in our cities that are drug free. I think we owe it to the next generation to create safe spaces that normalize sobriety.

    • @marley7659
      @marley7659 8 месяцев назад +10

      Yeah. My university students sold illegal mushrooms all the time and made a killing. He wasn’t secretive at all about it in broad daylight. He would even bring it to university to show off. I didn’t rat on him tho since they were a harmless kind of illegal mushroom.

    • @a.johnson1860
      @a.johnson1860 8 месяцев назад +1

      Here, here!

    • @slammetalgirl
      @slammetalgirl 8 месяцев назад +1

      sobriety has been normalized forever😭 just because someone wants to try shrooms doesn’t mean you can’t be sober

    • @Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry
      @Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry 6 месяцев назад +2

      The reason why is that organized crime continues to run clubs because a) who else can afford the rent in major cities? b) It's a great way to sell addictive drugs AND booze to a young and growing market, and c) it is and always has been a source of recruitment for prostitution. From organized crime's point of view, what's not to like about owning clubs, whether queer or not?

    • @witchyenvi
      @witchyenvi 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@slammetalgirlIF you spend time with a lot of people doing drugs, your willpower can hardly matter, you will be sucked in.

  • @kida4star
    @kida4star 8 месяцев назад +179

    As a bi woman, I totally understand why we may experience higher percentage of depression and substance abuse. I’ve been rejected by both straight individuals and other queers. Like I’m not queer enough to be LGBTQ, but I’m too queer to pass. Ug. I’m super here for a queer cafe!

    • @yoyohayli
      @yoyohayli 8 месяцев назад +13

      I have a kind of opposite problem where I am bi, but have only ever dated cis men...and after my last relationship, I don't see myself pursuing another one. So I feel...not queer enough to warrant being at a queer safe space, since I already benefit from being straight-passing.

    • @eureka5635
      @eureka5635 8 месяцев назад +24

      ​​​​@@yoyohayli* Passes "Queer Enough" Card * Here you go, just do it.

  • @TheSunnyOne
    @TheSunnyOne 8 месяцев назад +22

    Queer, autistic, disabled, unemployed, trans woman in the UK here.
    If I had a safe, non alcohol focused, place to hang out close to me, I may actually leave my house more than once every few months.
    I'd love a queer cafe or something near me.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 8 месяцев назад +2

      Me, too...I could drag myself out if there was a lesbian or queer cafe or coffeehouse nearby! But I'm 10 miles from queer-friendly, increasingly unaffordable major metropolitan Seattle in the U.S. The non-alcoholic drinks would likely be chi-chi and pricey, and the clientele 30+ yrs younger than me, and aggressively "woke" (of the type that forgets that "diversity" includes low income, disabled, neurodivergent, non-Christian, over 35, female, and any other boxes I might check).

  • @caitiem9083
    @caitiem9083 8 месяцев назад +76

    YES! As an autistic queer who doesn’t drink, bars/clubs are my worst nightmare and it’s alway lead me to feeling really distanced from the community. There’s little to no way to engage with the community that isn’t a sensory nightmare

    • @witchyenvi
      @witchyenvi 5 месяцев назад

      Yeah.. for me, my area is very conservative so I can't even paint my nails anyway, but I do not have any sense of wider community due to my autism.
      It's so hard to get along with people in general, no matter how gay, I fear 😭

  • @jesslikescoffee24
    @jesslikescoffee24 8 месяцев назад +256

    I wonder how neurodivergence plays a role in queerness and substance use disorders, given how much overlap there is between them all

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 8 месяцев назад +32

      This would be an interesting thing to study honestly

    • @johnracine4589
      @johnracine4589 8 месяцев назад +12

      Add to that the incredible overlap with things like hyper mobile disorders. It’s a triad with almost zero research.

    • @jenniferbelveal4331
      @jenniferbelveal4331 8 месяцев назад +12

      There is some sociological study behind the connections- some neurodivergencies are linked with impulsive behavior and adrenaline seeking behavior which leads to drug use, for example- largely, those marginalized will be limited to self-medication (as they will be ignored or barred access to healthcare and the means to procure it) and accepted by other marginalized people, AND are more likely to be open-minded to other marginalized modalities as a result. The neurotypical (neuro-enabled, as a youth in my kid's friend circle once said) that are not exposed to an accepting view of not-100%-cis/het modalities are possibly missing out on part of themselves that compulsory cis/het/allo society doesn't want to see... So, a lot of mixed numbers; it's actually hard to quantify the REAL numbers of LGBT people- but also 'neurotypical' people, due to socialization that can lead to a lot of hidden and/or undiscovered 'atypical' being.
      Basically, if you are in a safe place to NOT hide one modality, you may also feel free to share another, and more likely to be accepted in such spaces, but there is a hint of nero-spicy influence towards some spicy behaviors 🤷

    • @Abyssus.concepts
      @Abyssus.concepts 8 месяцев назад +7

      @@catdownthestreetI believe there’s been quite a few studies done into the correlation between neurodivergence and queerness - the only thing is, one big thing that gets taught in psychology is that correlation isn’t equal to causation; basically meaning “it’s a total 50/50 as to whether or not it actually means anything or is just a massive coincidence”
      There’s so much to unpack it’s so exciting

    • @vyvii3293
      @vyvii3293 8 месяцев назад +6

      As a queer neurodivergent person, I don't drink, do drugs or smoke. I'm very risk averse. Bars aren't great places for asexuals either because so many people are there for hook ups... it's not my deal.

  • @karlhenke91
    @karlhenke91 8 месяцев назад +382

    I'm an alcoholic! Also gay, cisgendered male. I've been sober since 2016, and...navigating the new world was tough. I'm very interested in this video.

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +49

      Congratulations on your sobriety!

    • @karlhenke91
      @karlhenke91 8 месяцев назад +22

      @@jennifers5560 Thank you!

    • @rhyssaunders9863
      @rhyssaunders9863 8 месяцев назад +17

      Congrats!

    • @DieAlteistwiederda
      @DieAlteistwiederda 8 месяцев назад +29

      Congratulations on your sobriety. For me it's that my dad was an alcoholic so I rarely drink and don't feel comfortable around drunk people. Different issue same outcome I guess. We really need more casual queer spaces.

    • @MOTHHMAN
      @MOTHHMAN 8 месяцев назад +11

      ​@@DieAlteistwiederdaagreed❤

  • @cynhanrahan4012
    @cynhanrahan4012 8 месяцев назад +129

    That blue sparkly gown is divine. Here in Florida US, our last local lesbian bar in my area was extremely successful, but about 20 years ago the owner of the building did not renew their lease. RIP Rainbow Room. It was a fun place with very little trouble, even though the police parked a large cis butch white male officer on the parking lot every night. Trying to have a private conversation on the parking lot would get you fussed at, if you were arguing, someone was going to jail. That said it was a rare day that there was a customer incited incident. There was a queer but mostly male gay bar that joined together with the gay antique store owner and the gay bookstore owner banded together and got the other shopkeepers on our failing small, very cute downtown area to be improved, cleaned up and become a tourist destination. Nice restaurants opened, the cobbles were smoothed, they city put a little museum, it was very nice. And that went on for 20 years or so. Then there became a vaguely hostile "family" atmosphere. The gay bar had a sign on the door that said this is a gay safe space, and if you have a problem with that, don't enter. That worked for a while. A new building owner tried to change it over to a straight bar, but us queers kept on patronizing the bar and dancing with each other, so more than half the people are queer. Straight cis white men were the new problem, harassing queers regardless of gender including groping us who identify as women. The bouncer helps if we tell them, especially if a woman has had too much to drink and is being molested openly. Queer safe spaces regardless of alcohol availability are now very scarce.

  • @judithlashbrook4684
    @judithlashbrook4684 8 месяцев назад +95

    My bar is my bedroom, there are cushions, pillows, covers, heat pads, weighted blankets, low lights, loop ear buds, white wine and snacks, and... just me! 😊

    • @Dante-ly666
      @Dante-ly666 8 месяцев назад +10

      This should be top comment! I agree totally

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 8 месяцев назад +12

      Ah, the perfect evening. Not a fan of alcohol myself but a good drink of my own making is always nice :)

  • @shouldbewritig
    @shouldbewritig 8 месяцев назад +152

    I'm so glad she's talking about this! I'm bi and violently allergic to alcohol so I never know where to go to participate in queer activity in an already limited area. Cafes for queer people WHEN?

    • @rksnj6797
      @rksnj6797 8 месяцев назад +13

      I'm surprised they aren't a thing. Seems like an idea waiting to be implemented.

    • @MissSnuffles117
      @MissSnuffles117 8 месяцев назад +12

      As someone who is just generally not into the bar scene, I would love a queer cafe! Cafes are way more my speed. 😅

    • @jswbr
      @jswbr 8 месяцев назад +2

      Sooo about Canada….. 😊

    • @user-wh5fj6pj6m
      @user-wh5fj6pj6m 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@jswbrthere are some in Canada?!

    • @56hillcrest
      @56hillcrest 8 месяцев назад +1

      There's one in Edinburgh!

  • @paulkemp8520
    @paulkemp8520 8 месяцев назад +28

    Omg it's so true about feeling uncomfortable as a... less affluent queer in queer spaces. It sucks, to the point I avoid queer bars for queer freindly bars. They tend to suit my working class sensibilities. Which sucks, we need more gay dives for working trash like me!

  • @randomhuman_05
    @randomhuman_05 8 месяцев назад +167

    I just got the title in the notification and my first thought was:
    “Wow, Jessica, that’s a little forward” 😭

    • @paradoxica424
      @paradoxica424 8 месяцев назад +12

      "buy me a drink fi-"

    • @ohpurpled
      @ohpurpled 8 месяцев назад +5

      My thought was ‘when? I, er, don't drink, but …when?’

    • @thewhiterabbitchaser
      @thewhiterabbitchaser 7 месяцев назад

      it's a song

  • @nottheoneforyou
    @nottheoneforyou 8 месяцев назад +75

    Anyone else notice Jessica has made sure to have some kind of shade of red mixed into her wardrobe? Ever since I watched the trip to Malaysia and it being the year of the dragon, I remember her being told red will held deflect bad luck. Just thought it was interesting for anyone who hadn't noticed at all. 😊

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +18

      She has to keep her luck up!

    • @nottheoneforyou
      @nottheoneforyou 8 месяцев назад +13

      @@jennifers5560 yes! I just thought it was a fun thing to point out. 😃

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +7

      @@nottheoneforyou it was!

    • @lyonclaws5737
      @lyonclaws5737 8 месяцев назад +8

      maybe coca cola will sponsor her for being on brand

    • @yoyohayli
      @yoyohayli 8 месяцев назад +4

      It's also clearly a very good color on her! Of course, I don't think I have seen any colors I have disliked on her, so 😅

  • @cynhanrahan4012
    @cynhanrahan4012 8 месяцев назад +53

    Oh, how could I leave out Hamburger Mary's? A restaurant with an all trans/drag staff. During lunch and early supper, people are welcome to bring their children. We have had large family parties at Hamburger Mary's because our chosen family is very mixed, and our children have been raised in a queer inclusive fashion. However, Hamburger Mary's has always had a strict children must be out of the restaurant by 8 pm so they can begin preparation for their drag shows. Last time I was there, out teenagers were allowed to stay, but the littles needed to go home anyway for bedtime. The drag show is wonderful, funny, and very entertaining with top drag queens performing much like any circuit based performer. The comedy is cleanish and mostly full of innuendo, and the singing is real voices. If staying for the shows, we are expected to order a meal as well as alcohol (their burgers really are fantastic), and the wait staff and bartenders are very aware of over serving. There is expected table turnover between shows, unless you order more food. Which is easy because yummy menu and ordering a coke or a tea or a fizzy water is normal. I consider it a family environment. But they are taking a lot of flack from the maga crowd in the FL state government. I'm a 65 year old cis queer woman, and have seen the progression over the years with dismay. I'm looking at France as an alternative to the US for my retirement. Just need to buff up my conversational French.

    • @obsidianjane4413
      @obsidianjane4413 8 месяцев назад +1

      Because this subject is gay bars and the connection to alcoholism. And so @3:25 .

  • @Eruza9306
    @Eruza9306 8 месяцев назад +157

    It's hard as a queer Muslim to find safe and sober places

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 8 месяцев назад +44

      I feel for you. Being queer as a teen was rough for me, but I can't imagine being Muslim as well. I hope you find your safe space someday, there are people like you out there who are looking for someone like them, too.

    • @Eruza9306
      @Eruza9306 8 месяцев назад +13

      @@catdownthestreet thank you so much

    • @ari_zona0
      @ari_zona0 8 месяцев назад +10

      I was looking for this comment, really felt this while watching the video

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 8 месяцев назад +8

      @@Eruza9306 Of course.

    • @sweenstaruploads-go1ml
      @sweenstaruploads-go1ml 8 месяцев назад +18

      Everytime I think of how much I wish there were more sober queer spaces, I always remember Muslim queer people and feel less alone lol

  • @carag2567
    @carag2567 8 месяцев назад +29

    "...circum certain stamces..." is my absolute favorite part of this video because Jessica did not edit it out, reshoot it, or delete it altogether. I'm hoping that she left it as is, knowing that we, her loving followers, would understand exactly what she meant. So many other content creators would have edited that out. But Jessica pressing on afterwards with her megawatt smile and sunny disposition makes her so authentic to me. I absolutely love this channel ❤️

  • @Frank-The-44th
    @Frank-The-44th 8 месяцев назад +27

    Right now THIS is the education that I want, it’s so nice to see someone explaining and spreading the history of the queer community xx

    • @Frank-The-44th
      @Frank-The-44th 8 месяцев назад +7

      Also we NEED to get a wardrobe tour, I love all of your outfits!!!

  • @jennifers5560
    @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +181

    Love Jessica’s style of highlighting the issues. Having all of those statistics in one video was eye opening.

  • @fraserking4747
    @fraserking4747 8 месяцев назад +82

    Didn’t know Jessica had joined Electric Six. Bold step, can’t wait to see how it plays out!

    • @hot_sour
      @hot_sour 8 месяцев назад +18

      It's going to be stuck in my head for ages, but I'm not mad 😂

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +11

      Of course I just had to search this and just had to watch the video. It is bold!

    • @aka_zandiie
      @aka_zandiie 8 месяцев назад +6

      im so glad someone else thought this too lol. i saw the title in my notifications and promptly broke into song :P

  • @MusingsFromTheDen
    @MusingsFromTheDen 8 месяцев назад +54

    'Department of Homosexuals' sounds like a very Queer Superhero movie and I'm here for it! 😂

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +11

      Superqueero!

    • @AeonZhang
      @AeonZhang 8 месяцев назад +3

      ✨🤣✨

    • @thomasjames6680
      @thomasjames6680 8 месяцев назад +4

      The Ace Of Spades, fires hot garlic bread from their eyes.

    • @MusingsFromTheDen
      @MusingsFromTheDen 8 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@jennifers5560 😂

    • @electronics-girl
      @electronics-girl 6 месяцев назад +3

      It sounds like something from the future, where we get our own Cabinet-level department.

  • @Sylvieawan
    @Sylvieawan 8 месяцев назад +21

    Great video! In Spain, gay bars are often called "bares de ambiente" ("ambiance bars"). The first of them was Tony's bar in Torremolinos (Málaga)... in 1962! (At that time, Spain was still under Franco's regime). It is our "Stonewall", as in 1971 was close after a raid. After Franco's death, gay bars were more popular and almost every town had its gay bar or even gay neighbourhood (as Chueca in Madrid). Nowadays, the majority of bars are mixed. I'm pretty sure in Madrid are gay cafes, not in my city as far as I know, but there are some associations that organise activities for young LGTBQ+ people and being openly gay (like kiss your couple) is not a problem in most places.

  • @Joey-kd8lj
    @Joey-kd8lj 8 месяцев назад +12

    Sometimes, as a baby queer (not completely figured out yet), queer-specific places can be intimidating. For example, when I was still in London, I went to Gay's the Word and I just felt like I looked like a boring cis straight girl.
    I think sober spaces would be really cool. For me, I enjoy a good dance sesh (I did different types of dance for many years growing up) and sometimes in restaurants I have to repress the urge to just full-on contemperary dance to songs that I know, but at the same time, I also like to talk to people and that's hard when you've got music blasting. Even more so when you're prone to sensory overload. I also can drink, but just never particularly seek it out.

  • @michaelnewton5873
    @michaelnewton5873 8 месяцев назад +38

    Jessica, Phillippa Gregory has a excellent book out called Normal Women. She covers Gay history in different times of English history as well as other Women's issue from 1300 to 200.

    • @KatjeKat86
      @KatjeKat86 8 месяцев назад +3

      My mom is reading that book she recommended it to me about a week ago. She got it because she loves history and especially women's history so it's kind of nice that she's learning a little bit about what people like me had to deal with as well as just history of interesting women.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 8 месяцев назад

      Sounds great. To make sure Jessica reads your recommendation, prolly best to DM her...directly.

  • @sams1982
    @sams1982 8 месяцев назад +9

    I want a film noir with Detective Kellgren-Fozard, she is mesmerizing

  • @onceichokedon_a_grain_of_rice
    @onceichokedon_a_grain_of_rice 8 месяцев назад +38

    I always love her outfit oml

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +8

      Detective Jessica was my favorite!

  • @nyves104
    @nyves104 8 месяцев назад +16

    this was a good reminder to look for a queer coffee shop in my area (since I can't drink alcohol either) and I found one! I guess I've got new plans for the weekend

  • @MechakittenX
    @MechakittenX 8 месяцев назад +20

    Guess I need to take out that small business loan and be the change I wanna see in the world. Been thinking about sober queer spaces for years. I see there's a demand now.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 8 месяцев назад +1

      Cat cafe / coffeehouse / salon / art gallery / jazz club / bookstore? (wlw-centered, hopefully)

    • @MechakittenX
      @MechakittenX 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@nodoboho as a non binary person, I'm uncomfortable in spaces exclusively for men or women, so my place will be open arms to all, with an emphasis on genderqueerness.

  • @Katastrophising
    @Katastrophising 8 месяцев назад +14

    The detective look is GORGEOUS. I'm obsesses. Not at all the point of this video, but I had to say it

  • @kai_maceration
    @kai_maceration 8 месяцев назад +11

    I'm 20 so I'll be able to go to gay bars soon, but I'm planning on staying sober, it would be wonderful to have more queer places where drinking isn't expected because I've never been in a room with several other openly queer people

  • @cheyturnervisuals
    @cheyturnervisuals 8 месяцев назад +15

    I’m so so SO glad you made this! Finally! I’ve been noticing an effort to create more NA spaces for queers recently. It’s really cool to see someone go into this history and connection.

  • @julie_uk_
    @julie_uk_ 8 месяцев назад +22

    Jessica swooping in to save my Wednesday with this video! Add AuDHD to that mix & it's not good. I stopped alcohol last April, so one year in 😊 Also thanks for gentle placing the Electric 6 song in my head, a joy ❤🎉

  • @MossyBear
    @MossyBear 8 месяцев назад +4

    I'm in love with your shift into the "wear several cute outfits and change sets occasionally" type of video. more of your cute outfits while I learn things, please!

  • @clairelist1060
    @clairelist1060 8 месяцев назад +15

    The high rates of alcohol abuse plus the fact that gay bars tend to overserve really is something...

  • @swood8464
    @swood8464 8 месяцев назад +8

    I am sober now. I am a nonbinary former binge drinker. I used to hang out at gay bars a lot.
    I do feel like there is severe lack of queer sober spaces.

  • @CommissionerManu
    @CommissionerManu 8 месяцев назад +9

    I read the title…
    Sick surf rock guitar starts playing louder and louder in my head…
    Lincoln appears before me…

  • @MichaelPhillipsatGreyOwlStudio
    @MichaelPhillipsatGreyOwlStudio 8 месяцев назад +18

    I struggle to find community spaces because I have Meniere's disease and various vestibular problems, as well as chronic fatigue. In loud environments I cannot distinguish voices from background noise, so even in loud restaurants, communication is pretty much hopeless. Recently, I went to see my first film in the theatre in 9 years, Dune Part 2, and the sound was so loud it was painful, and I couldn't make out anything in the louder action sequences, and then I had dizziness and bedspins for three nights thereafter.

    • @blowitoutyourcunt7675
      @blowitoutyourcunt7675 8 месяцев назад

      Cotton balls! It muffles everything to an acceptable level cuz theaters are just too darn loud! YMMV

  • @cynical8330
    @cynical8330 8 месяцев назад +3

    "A queer bar can be a safe space but, it is also a bar" well put

  • @ArtichokeHunter
    @ArtichokeHunter 8 месяцев назад +5

    As You Are in DC is my favorite. The first floor is basically a cafe with board games and the second floor has a dance floor, full bar, stage etc. (My favorite queer spaces in other spaces I've lived have unfortunately mostly closed.)

  • @magicivy
    @magicivy 8 месяцев назад +47

    I hope all my queer guys, gals, and nonbinary pals are having a good day 😊💕🌈

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +10

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 8 месяцев назад +4

      Thank you! I hope you are, too :)

    • @roarmaus
      @roarmaus 8 месяцев назад +2

      Is yer greeting a Queer Kiwi-ish reference? Yay!

  • @lynnbrooklyn1332
    @lynnbrooklyn1332 8 месяцев назад +16

    Thank you for making informative content that is almost soothing because of your voice. It always brightens my day to see your videos.

  • @TisiphoneSeraph
    @TisiphoneSeraph 8 месяцев назад +5

    Really glad you talked about access. I'm disabled and sober. I was lucky that there was an LGBT center in the town I was in but the programing was a patchy. I too crave gay cafes.

  • @BadgerX153
    @BadgerX153 6 месяцев назад +2

    There is a LGBTQ+ hangout place in my state called Teatotalers. It is a tea shop that serves sandwiches and such with no alcohol. They do a lot of community stuff and it is really cool despite the fact that there has been some people who have tried to picket their drag events.

  • @lyonclaws5737
    @lyonclaws5737 8 месяцев назад +7

    jessica you have a very misophonia-friendly voice. i enjoy listening to you read off statistics!! i love learning!!

  • @anthonydelfino6171
    @anthonydelfino6171 8 месяцев назад +1

    19:05 what’s crazy about Budweiser was that until the 70s and Harvey Milk, the main beer brand consumed in the US in gay bars was Coors, but we decided to switch to Budweiser over an alliance made with unions
    Now Budweiser had almost overnight destroyed that relationship that had been so good for them for 50 years
    Also I’d recommend Miller at this point if you drink a mainstream beer and want to support a supportive brand. They donate large amounts every year to various HIV/AIDS organizations here in San Francisco

  • @conlon4332
    @conlon4332 8 месяцев назад +7

    20:14 As someone who also doesn't drink, I've been considering buying wine to make my own vinegar. My family have been very discouraging, saying it's a waste of money... however I have read online that the nicer the wine the nicer the vinegar, and I do like nice vinegar.

    • @madhatterline
      @madhatterline 8 месяцев назад +4

      I mean anything creative can usually be considered a waste of money for some reason or another. It's your money, maybe just give it & go & see how it comes out. 😊

    • @conlon4332
      @conlon4332 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@madhatterline Thank you. Maybe I will.

  • @thehonoredone2361
    @thehonoredone2361 8 месяцев назад +16

    Just found this channel. And I have to admit it's very informative and entertaining.

    • @annajackson9001
      @annajackson9001 8 месяцев назад +1

      Welcome, have fun watching past videos😊

    • @rksnj6797
      @rksnj6797 8 месяцев назад +1

      I love how she can mix humor into her videos to make them fun to watch. She does include a lot of information on many subjects.

  • @Neojhun
    @Neojhun 8 месяцев назад +5

    Thanks Jess, you have put that ear worm of song back into my head.

  • @bethanykennedy812
    @bethanykennedy812 8 месяцев назад +5

    There used to be coffee houses around that basically served the same purpose as a bar, but with coffee. The one that was local here closed. I haven't seen many around lately.

  • @Jiddy12345
    @Jiddy12345 8 месяцев назад +10

    Solid Electric Six reference

  • @GothWithAGoldenRetriever
    @GothWithAGoldenRetriever 8 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you for this! I have very bad reactions to flashing lights and my dietary restrictions make it so usually the only beverage option for me is water. As a young queer person it’s so isolating to hang out with your friends as they get ready for a night out and then… go home because you’re the disabled one who can’t come.

  • @jamiek8123
    @jamiek8123 8 месяцев назад +2

    ok so the power chair one is legit, sad but legit. I have a sibling who uses one, the thing weighs over 300 pounds, and when we were building an edition to the house a common note was reinforcing the floor to make sure it could hold, and the older floors also had to be enforced, so I do believe some random bars could have some questionable floor strength and so would need to refuse the power chair on the grounds of safety.
    I wish we lived in society where if it was found your floor wasn't strong enough to support such things it would just be fixed, like 'oh, this floor isn't quite up to par, let's just send a notice to the -word- and get that fixed up here soon'. like could we make that a thing, an area is just inspected, and buildings are brought up to modern standards, ramps added, floors enforced, and other such things, on the simple grounds of 'for the public good'

  • @matelotage723
    @matelotage723 8 месяцев назад +2

    As a small town country gay who only moved to the big city of Los Angeles a couple years ago I was astonished by the openness and sheer quantity of gay bars here, I'm still discovering all sorts of cool new venues and locations but I definitely have my favorites

  • @QueenKarissa
    @QueenKarissa 8 месяцев назад +3

    Thank you as always for the stellar queer content Jessica! The statistics that you shared were very validating as a bisexual adult. I appreciate how much work you put into educating us in a lighthearted manner

  • @missnaomi613
    @missnaomi613 8 месяцев назад +7

    Somebody, please steal this idea: Gay cat cafe! It's queer, it gets kitties adopted! Everybody wins! (I hear that there are sometimes WAITING LISTS to go to cat cafes, they're so popular!)
    *I know, it isn't for people with cat allergies. No idea is perfect.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 8 месяцев назад

      "Great minds think alike"! I suggested this just several minutes ago in a reply further up the chain. I threw in coffeehouse, art gallery, salon, and bookstore...because...why not...and also I'm all about "multi-functional" and I, personally, would love any or all of those as well.

  • @diaryofcolours
    @diaryofcolours 8 месяцев назад +2

    While watching this video, my head was playing Electric Six's Gay Bar in the background. Oh how I love it when my brain runs differnt audio tapes at the same time.

  • @carolbuzelim
    @carolbuzelim 8 месяцев назад +6

    i dont drink alcoholic beverage, neither does jessica but lets go
    i have to say you look stunning with that blue gown and golden tiara, look like a goddess

  • @edwardlupella6758
    @edwardlupella6758 8 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for mentioning the Black Nite Brawl! I did not guess someone from over the pond would find that, but it's fairly well known in our little city. Sadly the bar no longer exists and there's a highway there now.

  • @SmolFrogge
    @SmolFrogge 8 месяцев назад +2

    I want to open an establishment called the Misfit Science Club. Being queer, science oriented, and autistic is a lonely branch.

  • @PhoebeFayRuthLouise
    @PhoebeFayRuthLouise 8 месяцев назад +7

    Thank you for another tremendously informative video, Jessica!

  • @joana_jj_8
    @joana_jj_8 8 месяцев назад +1

    Another huge accessibility issue is that a lot of queer bars (in some countries) are still not smoke-free, which is hard for people with COPD, asthma, migraines, or sensory sensitivities.

  • @MsShaunaM
    @MsShaunaM 8 месяцев назад +1

    I was living in Oklahoma about 40 years ago. The state of Oklahoma was a dry state. At speakeasys, you were 'supposed' to bring your own bottle and they would make drinks for you from that bottle. Of course, that was not how it worked. However, every bottle of alcohol did have the name and address of its 'owner' taped on it - just in case of a raid by the cops. There was a local gin mill, sorry - speakeasy, where the deputy sheriff decided to make a name for himself. He raided a place and found the Mayor and Chief of Police enjoying an illegal beverage. The deputy was soon fired.
    I was sitting in a speakeasy having a Jameson's when I was told this story. The person who told me this tale was the county District Attorney.

  • @kaseydexter9736
    @kaseydexter9736 8 месяцев назад +3

    I'm always happy to support our local girl bar, Gossip Grill. Though not perfect, it's fairly accessible, well-lit and features an impressive mocktail menu. I was very appreciative during the Pride where I was pregnant 😂😂

  • @bellablue5285
    @bellablue5285 8 месяцев назад +7

    I'm not particularly fond of being around people drinking, admittedly pre-2020 work travel made it a necessity, though I rather preferred the couple of pubs I was in while in the UK over the bars here in the US, though it's definitely a very different vibe in both (and I'll say I've only been to the straight/general version of both, not any specifically gay or queer spaces).
    Off topic, but I love the outfit with the hat and duster - I feel like I should recognize it and I'm not, but it's really cute!

  • @InsomniacMoonbat
    @InsomniacMoonbat 5 месяцев назад +1

    I struggled for many years to actually find community, because on one hand I "only" identified as gender non-conforming pansexual and felt like I didn't really have a place in the community, but also the bar thing really kept me from actually getting in touch with it. I hate the taste of alcohol, so I don't drink and I hate drunk people and I hate noisy environments with lots of people that overstimulate me.
    And the few restaurant or cafe/bar like establishments we have can be pretty expensive, if you don't have much money.
    I'm so glad I found the local queer organization that offers their rooms for a variety of groups and meetings as well as special events. Sadly it's not generally open to just hang out together.
    Maybe we get something like that in a couple of years/decades. There are plans for a queer center in the city to not only have office rooms for different organizations but also community rooms. Let's hope the city doesn't drop the project in the future. At least we managed to get 7 beds for queer homeless people in 2 apartments.

  • @jonnysbigworld
    @jonnysbigworld 8 месяцев назад +6

    This is such a fun video!!! Love it!!

  • @vapniitinerant2829
    @vapniitinerant2829 8 месяцев назад +4

    Such a wonderful video! Jessica, you’ve done it again!

  • @drskelebone
    @drskelebone 8 месяцев назад +6

    Hey hey! Three cheers for our bisexual friends! Five cheers for our unsure friends!

  • @micheledavis3735
    @micheledavis3735 8 месяцев назад +1

    I don't think either of you know how lovely you are...visage/countenance obviously, but your hearts make you both breathtaking. So happy I found you...I'd love to "meet" Rupert on here but I'm beyond grateful you don't share his sweet face. I'll never understand those who do. I hope the parents who do share more are extremely cautious. Thanks for another video. 🫶🏽🩵

  • @sierranevada4601
    @sierranevada4601 8 месяцев назад +1

    I only found your channel like a day or two ago, but I am very happy to discover an actual source list. Too rare on youtube lol

  • @FreyjaFoxx.x
    @FreyjaFoxx.x 8 месяцев назад

    I'm happy you're talking about this. I've been dealing with trying to quit because it's not healthy. But like everything we do as a community is super centered around bars and it can be frustrating.
    Also is frustrating to see alcohol companies exploit us for huge profit

  • @violentinsides
    @violentinsides 6 месяцев назад

    I found this channel today and I am living for Jessica!

  • @jamielashell
    @jamielashell 8 месяцев назад +3

    Excellent video! I laughed & I learned ❤😊 Keep up the great work Jessica! Love your channel!

  • @ninjakitteh9095
    @ninjakitteh9095 8 месяцев назад +8

    Same about forgetting that 1900s was a century ago 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Filecabinet0170
    @Filecabinet0170 8 месяцев назад +1

    Totally off topic but that blue dress/gown and accompanying accessories ensemble is absolutely gorgeous! 💙 I think I missed a lot of what you were saying whilst admiring these sartorial aspects of the video. I’m new to the channel so if you’ve worn it before it’s new to me.

  • @Werevampiwolf
    @Werevampiwolf 8 месяцев назад +6

    Jessica: [explains her medical issues and why she can't really go to bars]
    Other Jessica: "That seems... very specific.
    Me: [also can't drink due to medication, it's also blind in one eye, brain is freaked out by flashing lights, and isn't deaf but does have sensory processing disorder and has trouble with loud noises] "Not as specific as you think, Other Jessica. I feel seen"

  • @LordEveryman
    @LordEveryman 8 месяцев назад +1

    Wow, Jessica, what a great script! I am in awe, keep up the good work!

  • @labestia8099
    @labestia8099 8 месяцев назад +2

    This video reminds me of Philosophy Tube’s format. I love it!

  • @parkermae
    @parkermae 8 месяцев назад +6

    I don't have words for how much I love the sparkly blue dress! Also, is that a dog in your lap?

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 8 месяцев назад +3

      That’s Tilly

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 8 месяцев назад +1

      Wha? There was an animal? I must have been distracted.... 😳😉

  • @Dante-ly666
    @Dante-ly666 8 месяцев назад +5

    I'm glad this video was a history video.

  • @stephthebard9037
    @stephthebard9037 7 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this history. As a Milwaukee native I never knew about Black Nite, but you can bet your buttons I've learned a lot about it now.

  • @M00s3r
    @M00s3r 8 месяцев назад +2

    I am so here for Detective Jessica ❤

  • @daniellecook3086
    @daniellecook3086 5 месяцев назад

    Im finally catching up on your videos (just watched 3 in a row as I process invoices) and your videos are SO GOOD! You are so funny and clever and I appreciate your creativity and energy that you put into these ❤

  • @seeleunit2000
    @seeleunit2000 8 месяцев назад +2

    This has been very informative and I'm pleased to watched this video.

  • @sallyjordan4869
    @sallyjordan4869 8 месяцев назад +1

    Another great history-inflected video, Jessica! And may I say how splendid you looked in all the outfits, particularly the sparkly blue one? 🎀💖🎀

  • @clambysaurus
    @clambysaurus 6 месяцев назад

    Thank you for this! As an autistic lesbian who doesn't drink and for whom the lights/crowding/loudness of bars is an overstimulation nightmare, I've always felt so deeply sad that there aren't really any queer, in-person spaces I can go to to find community and safety. I really hope that a more diverse array of queer spaces arise as time goes on.

  • @StephS40
    @StephS40 8 месяцев назад +1

    Awesome video, Jessica! I have always wondered about the history of these LGBTQ+ bars and other safe spaces for the queer community, and I found your video to be very informative.
    I would love to see a video about members of the LGBTQ+ community who are, or have served in the military.

  • @emmypadge
    @emmypadge 8 месяцев назад

    the cutaways in this video are so wonderful! Also the audio in the cutaways is great as well! Love your work always

  • @AlondraAlvarez-he9lw
    @AlondraAlvarez-he9lw 8 месяцев назад +3

    This video was very informative.

  • @a.johnson1860
    @a.johnson1860 8 месяцев назад

    I love it when you do history pieces!!! This is outstanding!

  • @mxclaireharris
    @mxclaireharris 8 месяцев назад +2

    A club near me has one of those user operated lifts. I've been going there about 10 years and it was breaking then, now it's completely gone and they won't fix it. There's big events that go on there and I'm unable to attend. Event organisers are seeing a hit because of it and begged them to fix it but nothing has happened.

  • @TheMotlias
    @TheMotlias 5 месяцев назад +1

    What I'm hearing is we need queer tea rooms/board game cafes

  • @alexamain
    @alexamain 8 месяцев назад +1

    1:31 dress is so beautiful!!

  • @HOHNancy
    @HOHNancy 8 месяцев назад +1

    I love the blue gown and you look great in the detective outfit. 🙂 I learned a lot from you in this video! It’s excellent! ❤

  • @gemmajordan2147
    @gemmajordan2147 6 месяцев назад +1

    This video talks about prohibition, therefore it is revision for my English exam on The Great Gatsby and I’m definitely not procrastinating by watching it, oh no, not me

  • @soccersweet11
    @soccersweet11 8 месяцев назад +2

    jessica in that blue gown and that white puppy across your lap, you are stunning!🌙✨

  • @Squid095
    @Squid095 7 месяцев назад +1

    I never came out I mean by the age of 11 I was cracking gay jokes I love my parents I recently asked why they never had questioned me about my closet and in my dads words “what closet it was a sliding door that was broken “ and I love him for that I want some more sober places for queer people sense I might not be able to drink when I am older so I want some queer cafes

  • @crestfallenraven
    @crestfallenraven 8 месяцев назад

    Love this! Very educational, and beautiful delivery