Alcohol and Queerness: A deep dive

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  • Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
  • CHAPTERS
    00:00 Intro
    00:10 Welcome to the wonderful world of gay bars!
    03:22 The History of Gay Bars
    09:41 Alcohol and the Law
    13:13 The Mafia, Gay Bars, and Gay Liberation
    21:16 Drinking Culture, Community, and Access
    28:49 Conclusion
    Why are so many disabled people gay?- • Why are so many disabl...
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    Music by Epidemic Sound ➭ share.epidemicsound.com/mvszv
    ----------------------------------------------------------
    Sources
    The Symposium in Reeve, C.D.C. (ed.) Plato on Love. 2006
    Beachy, Robert. Gay Berlin: Birthplace of a Modern Identity. 2014
    Hillderbran, Lucas. The Bars are Ours: Histories and Cultures of Gay Bars in America, 1960 and after
    Sender, Katherine. Business, Not Politics: The Making of the Gay Market, 2004
    www.sfgate.com/sf-culture/art...
    blog.britishnewspaperarchive....
    www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexpe...
    www.npr.org/2023/03/06/116145...
    jacobin.com/2023/03/cross-dre...
    www.thepinknews.com/2021/06/2...
    www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexpe...
    chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lc...
    archive.wislgbthistory.com/bu...
    www.theunwritten.co.uk/2022/1...
    www.stlouisfed.org/on-the-eco...
    www.thetrevorproject.org/rese...
    www.bonappetit.com/story/lesb...
    www.shatterproof.org/blog/sob...
    www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2021/feb/m...
    www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
    www.healthline.com/health/alc...
    www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/arti...
    www.healthline.com/health/alc...
    www.theguardian.com/world/202...
    www.healthline.com/health/why...

Комментарии • 519

  • @Waterflame
    @Waterflame 3 месяца назад +120

    Over 24 hours and no proper captions? 😭😭😭😭😭

    • @jessicaoutofthecloset
      @jessicaoutofthecloset  3 месяца назад +207

      Thank you so much for flagging this, it's fixed now. The captions were ready at the same time as the video, but RUclips left them as a draft for some reason. Phew, thanks again!

    • @ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023
      @ronjaj.addams-ramstedt1023 3 месяца назад +11

      ​@@jessicaoutofthecloset FYI: also Just Icelandic had a similar caption no-show within the last few days.

    • @prabhjotsingh6835
      @prabhjotsingh6835 3 месяца назад +5

      @@jessicaoutofthecloset THANK YOU!!! :D

    • @Waterflame
      @Waterflame 3 месяца назад +7

      @@jessicaoutofthecloset Thank you! I love your videos, and the captions are so lovely. I just can't watch without them!

  • @jesslikescoffee24
    @jesslikescoffee24 3 месяца назад +1242

    I’m still waiting on the rise of gay cafes ☕️ (queer cafes in actuality, but I love the rhyme of gay cafe). Bars are great for sensory seekers, but I want a ubiquitous place for sensory avoiders too.

    • @aosfs2924
      @aosfs2924 3 месяца назад +64

      I very much support this but it would alas not work for me as I find cafes almost as overwhelming for some reason 😂

    • @mrpocock
      @mrpocock 3 месяца назад +112

      queer quafe

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 3 месяца назад +53

      ​@@mrpocock petition for this to be the new thing

    • @Hunterofartemischildofhades
      @Hunterofartemischildofhades 3 месяца назад +26

      ​@@catdownthestreetconsider it signed.

    • @MOTHHMAN
      @MOTHHMAN 3 месяца назад +34

      Yessss! This! I'm usually sensory avoidant when it comes to social settings, so a gay café sounds perfect for me❤

  • @kida4star
    @kida4star 3 месяца назад +163

    As a bi woman, I totally understand why we may experience higher percentage of depression and substance abuse. I’ve been rejected by both straight individuals and other queers. Like I’m not queer enough to be LGBTQ, but I’m too queer to pass. Ug. I’m super here for a queer cafe!

    • @yoyohayli
      @yoyohayli 3 месяца назад +11

      I have a kind of opposite problem where I am bi, but have only ever dated cis men...and after my last relationship, I don't see myself pursuing another one. So I feel...not queer enough to warrant being at a queer safe space, since I already benefit from being straight-passing.

    • @eureka5635
      @eureka5635 3 месяца назад +20

      ​​​​@@yoyohayli* Passes "Queer Enough" Card * Here you go, just do it.

  • @cassandramiller4477
    @cassandramiller4477 3 месяца назад +315

    We need queer coffee houses! Queer game stores! Queer bookstores! Places that aren't bars! We have one of the older lesbian bars in Seattle, a place for cis and trans women alike...and I hate bars, so it's really hard to want to hang out there.

    • @MissaBrevis
      @MissaBrevis 3 месяца назад +16

      I was traveling recently, and saw there was a queer bookstore near where I was staying, with a flyer for an open game night ... and then when I went in it turned out to also be a bar? No loud music or lights or whatever, so it was fine on a sensory level, but as someone who mostly doesn't drink it still kind of felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. (I don't blame them, I'm sure that the money from alcohol sales subsidizes the rest of what they do, but it was still uncomfortable)

    • @nynomi
      @nynomi 3 месяца назад +6

      There is a queer coffeehouse here in Rochester, NY, and there is also a restaurant that's queer-owned and very welcoming which serves mocktails in addition to alcohol (but it is a little pricey).

    • @missnaomi613
      @missnaomi613 3 месяца назад +1

      This reminded me: My first apartment was right around the corner from a lesbian book store! Back then I thought I was 100% straight (💗💜💙) but I loved it!

    • @ohpurpled
      @ohpurpled 3 месяца назад +4

      Sometimes I think about running a little shop selling hobbyist electronics/‘maker’ things …and also pride badges/flags/whatever.
      Such a shop wouldn't be big enough to host anything per se, but even so I like the idea of casually injecting some queerness in an unexpected place, and not just during July?
      Of course in practice I've too much neurospicy and too little money to ever actually do a shop, but do like the idea.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 3 месяца назад +2

      @@ohpurpled _July_ ? 0_o? In the U.S. at least, *June* is Pride Month. Are you a baby gay, dear? Or is July Pride Month somewhere?

  • @jesslikescoffee24
    @jesslikescoffee24 3 месяца назад +247

    I wonder how neurodivergence plays a role in queerness and substance use disorders, given how much overlap there is between them all

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 3 месяца назад +32

      This would be an interesting thing to study honestly

    • @johnracine4589
      @johnracine4589 3 месяца назад +11

      Add to that the incredible overlap with things like hyper mobile disorders. It’s a triad with almost zero research.

    • @jenniferbelveal4331
      @jenniferbelveal4331 3 месяца назад +11

      There is some sociological study behind the connections- some neurodivergencies are linked with impulsive behavior and adrenaline seeking behavior which leads to drug use, for example- largely, those marginalized will be limited to self-medication (as they will be ignored or barred access to healthcare and the means to procure it) and accepted by other marginalized people, AND are more likely to be open-minded to other marginalized modalities as a result. The neurotypical (neuro-enabled, as a youth in my kid's friend circle once said) that are not exposed to an accepting view of not-100%-cis/het modalities are possibly missing out on part of themselves that compulsory cis/het/allo society doesn't want to see... So, a lot of mixed numbers; it's actually hard to quantify the REAL numbers of LGBT people- but also 'neurotypical' people, due to socialization that can lead to a lot of hidden and/or undiscovered 'atypical' being.
      Basically, if you are in a safe place to NOT hide one modality, you may also feel free to share another, and more likely to be accepted in such spaces, but there is a hint of nero-spicy influence towards some spicy behaviors 🤷

    • @crdwn3
      @crdwn3 3 месяца назад +7

      @@catdownthestreetI believe there’s been quite a few studies done into the correlation between neurodivergence and queerness - the only thing is, one big thing that gets taught in psychology is that correlation isn’t equal to causation; basically meaning “it’s a total 50/50 as to whether or not it actually means anything or is just a massive coincidence”
      There’s so much to unpack it’s so exciting

    • @vyvii3293
      @vyvii3293 3 месяца назад +5

      As a queer neurodivergent person, I don't drink, do drugs or smoke. I'm very risk averse. Bars aren't great places for asexuals either because so many people are there for hook ups... it's not my deal.

  • @perelandrawaddle
    @perelandrawaddle 3 месяца назад +339

    I'm so glad people are talking about how difficult it can be to navigate queer spaces as a sober person. Here in Vancouver, use of cocaine and fentynal are so prevalent many queer youths end up addicted and die very young. Especially Trans and Indigenous kids. Its very unfortunate and I think its a hard thing to find balance with. We have legalized weed long ago and possession of small amounts of illegal drugs are legal. There are illegal mushroom dispenseries everywhere that go unpatrolled and although I think criminalizing drugs is not the answer it worries me that there are almost no queer spaces in our cities that are drug free. I think we owe it to the next generation to create safe spaces that normalize sobriety.

    • @marley7659
      @marley7659 3 месяца назад +9

      Yeah. My university students sold illegal mushrooms all the time and made a killing. He wasn’t secretive at all about it in broad daylight. He would even bring it to university to show off. I didn’t rat on him tho since they were a harmless kind of illegal mushroom.

    • @a.johnson1860
      @a.johnson1860 3 месяца назад +1

      Here, here!

    • @slammetalgirl
      @slammetalgirl 3 месяца назад +1

      sobriety has been normalized forever😭 just because someone wants to try shrooms doesn’t mean you can’t be sober

    • @Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry
      @Grimenoughtomaketherobotcry 2 месяца назад +1

      The reason why is that organized crime continues to run clubs because a) who else can afford the rent in major cities? b) It's a great way to sell addictive drugs AND booze to a young and growing market, and c) it is and always has been a source of recruitment for prostitution. From organized crime's point of view, what's not to like about owning clubs, whether queer or not?

    • @witchyenvi
      @witchyenvi 18 дней назад

      ​@@slammetalgirlIF you spend time with a lot of people doing drugs, your willpower can hardly matter, you will be sucked in.

  • @LyingTube
    @LyingTube 3 месяца назад +280

    I'm a teetotal autistic introvert so the heavy focus on noisy drinking environments for social interaction has been Rough.

    • @TheWanderingLPer
      @TheWanderingLPer 3 месяца назад +13

      Preach

    • @meganlampa3293
      @meganlampa3293 3 месяца назад +12

      Here,here. My husband and his work friends often go to noisy places where there's drinking, smoking and staying up late. So I'm yet to get to know a lot of his friends

    • @meganlampa3293
      @meganlampa3293 3 месяца назад +12

      Also you put your head on your hands or on the table they kick you out. Come on I have Cerebral Palsy and I'm tired

    • @StefanKoran
      @StefanKoran 3 месяца назад +9

      I feel you.. i tried.. it was.. not good. I like humans but not people.

    • @greenaum
      @greenaum 3 месяца назад +3

      Hm yeah maybe there's room for a non-alcoholic meeting place. Thing is, gay clubs are often, unless they're for real music fanatics, there for hookups. And being drunk makes seduction, and being seduced, *SO* much easier! Hetero clubs aren't too much different, you can still have fun, but there's little point in conversation when you have to shout into someone's ear. Turn the sound down, dammit! Now, I know I'm old.
      I dunno where introverts meet friends and partners. I suppose Internet, but, that's just so second-class to real life, it's sortof awful! My autistic mate would probably be the county drinking champion if they had one. He enjoys socialising. He's fairly obviously "different" to talk to, but he's a good guy and can have fun, so people get on with him regardless.
      Teetotal, well they sell soft drinks. I wouldn't recommend socialising with a bunch of increasingly-drunk drunks, sober. About 8 or 9 you're gonna want to leave.
      What sort of tactics and tips do you have, Tubey?

  • @karlhenke91
    @karlhenke91 3 месяца назад +370

    I'm an alcoholic! Also gay, cisgendered male. I've been sober since 2016, and...navigating the new world was tough. I'm very interested in this video.

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +48

      Congratulations on your sobriety!

    • @karlhenke91
      @karlhenke91 3 месяца назад +22

      @@jennifers5560 Thank you!

    • @rhyssaunders9863
      @rhyssaunders9863 3 месяца назад +17

      Congrats!

    • @DieAlteistwiederda
      @DieAlteistwiederda 3 месяца назад +27

      Congratulations on your sobriety. For me it's that my dad was an alcoholic so I rarely drink and don't feel comfortable around drunk people. Different issue same outcome I guess. We really need more casual queer spaces.

    • @MOTHHMAN
      @MOTHHMAN 3 месяца назад +11

      ​@@DieAlteistwiederdaagreed❤

  • @caitiem9083
    @caitiem9083 3 месяца назад +66

    YES! As an autistic queer who doesn’t drink, bars/clubs are my worst nightmare and it’s alway lead me to feeling really distanced from the community. There’s little to no way to engage with the community that isn’t a sensory nightmare

    • @witchyenvi
      @witchyenvi 18 дней назад

      Yeah.. for me, my area is very conservative so I can't even paint my nails anyway, but I do not have any sense of wider community due to my autism.
      It's so hard to get along with people in general, no matter how gay, I fear 😭

  • @judithlashbrook4684
    @judithlashbrook4684 3 месяца назад +93

    My bar is my bedroom, there are cushions, pillows, covers, heat pads, weighted blankets, low lights, loop ear buds, white wine and snacks, and... just me! 😊

    • @Dante-ly1zg
      @Dante-ly1zg 3 месяца назад +9

      This should be top comment! I agree totally

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 3 месяца назад +10

      Ah, the perfect evening. Not a fan of alcohol myself but a good drink of my own making is always nice :)

  • @cynhanrahan4012
    @cynhanrahan4012 3 месяца назад +124

    That blue sparkly gown is divine. Here in Florida US, our last local lesbian bar in my area was extremely successful, but about 20 years ago the owner of the building did not renew their lease. RIP Rainbow Room. It was a fun place with very little trouble, even though the police parked a large cis butch white male officer on the parking lot every night. Trying to have a private conversation on the parking lot would get you fussed at, if you were arguing, someone was going to jail. That said it was a rare day that there was a customer incited incident. There was a queer but mostly male gay bar that joined together with the gay antique store owner and the gay bookstore owner banded together and got the other shopkeepers on our failing small, very cute downtown area to be improved, cleaned up and become a tourist destination. Nice restaurants opened, the cobbles were smoothed, they city put a little museum, it was very nice. And that went on for 20 years or so. Then there became a vaguely hostile "family" atmosphere. The gay bar had a sign on the door that said this is a gay safe space, and if you have a problem with that, don't enter. That worked for a while. A new building owner tried to change it over to a straight bar, but us queers kept on patronizing the bar and dancing with each other, so more than half the people are queer. Straight cis white men were the new problem, harassing queers regardless of gender including groping us who identify as women. The bouncer helps if we tell them, especially if a woman has had too much to drink and is being molested openly. Queer safe spaces regardless of alcohol availability are now very scarce.

  • @randomhuman_05
    @randomhuman_05 3 месяца назад +163

    I just got the title in the notification and my first thought was:
    “Wow, Jessica, that’s a little forward” 😭

  • @shouldbewritig
    @shouldbewritig 3 месяца назад +148

    I'm so glad she's talking about this! I'm bi and violently allergic to alcohol so I never know where to go to participate in queer activity in an already limited area. Cafes for queer people WHEN?

    • @rksnj6797
      @rksnj6797 3 месяца назад +13

      I'm surprised they aren't a thing. Seems like an idea waiting to be implemented.

    • @MissSnuffles117
      @MissSnuffles117 3 месяца назад +12

      As someone who is just generally not into the bar scene, I would love a queer cafe! Cafes are way more my speed. 😅

    • @jswbr
      @jswbr 3 месяца назад +2

      Sooo about Canada….. 😊

    • @user-wh5fj6pj6m
      @user-wh5fj6pj6m 3 месяца назад +2

      @@jswbrthere are some in Canada?!

    • @56hillcrest
      @56hillcrest 3 месяца назад +1

      There's one in Edinburgh!

  • @nottheoneforyou
    @nottheoneforyou 3 месяца назад +72

    Anyone else notice Jessica has made sure to have some kind of shade of red mixed into her wardrobe? Ever since I watched the trip to Malaysia and it being the year of the dragon, I remember her being told red will held deflect bad luck. Just thought it was interesting for anyone who hadn't noticed at all. 😊

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +18

      She has to keep her luck up!

    • @nottheoneforyou
      @nottheoneforyou 3 месяца назад +13

      @@jennifers5560 yes! I just thought it was a fun thing to point out. 😃

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +7

      @@nottheoneforyou it was!

    • @lyonclaws5737
      @lyonclaws5737 3 месяца назад +7

      maybe coca cola will sponsor her for being on brand

    • @yoyohayli
      @yoyohayli 3 месяца назад +4

      It's also clearly a very good color on her! Of course, I don't think I have seen any colors I have disliked on her, so 😅

  • @Eruza9306
    @Eruza9306 3 месяца назад +151

    It's hard as a queer Muslim to find safe and sober places

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 3 месяца назад +40

      I feel for you. Being queer as a teen was rough for me, but I can't imagine being Muslim as well. I hope you find your safe space someday, there are people like you out there who are looking for someone like them, too.

    • @Eruza9306
      @Eruza9306 3 месяца назад +13

      @@catdownthestreet thank you so much

    • @ari_zona0
      @ari_zona0 3 месяца назад +10

      I was looking for this comment, really felt this while watching the video

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 3 месяца назад +8

      @@Eruza9306 Of course.

    • @sweenstaruploads-go1ml
      @sweenstaruploads-go1ml 3 месяца назад +14

      Everytime I think of how much I wish there were more sober queer spaces, I always remember Muslim queer people and feel less alone lol

  • @paulkemp8520
    @paulkemp8520 3 месяца назад +26

    Omg it's so true about feeling uncomfortable as a... less affluent queer in queer spaces. It sucks, to the point I avoid queer bars for queer freindly bars. They tend to suit my working class sensibilities. Which sucks, we need more gay dives for working trash like me!

  • @cynhanrahan4012
    @cynhanrahan4012 3 месяца назад +53

    Oh, how could I leave out Hamburger Mary's? A restaurant with an all trans/drag staff. During lunch and early supper, people are welcome to bring their children. We have had large family parties at Hamburger Mary's because our chosen family is very mixed, and our children have been raised in a queer inclusive fashion. However, Hamburger Mary's has always had a strict children must be out of the restaurant by 8 pm so they can begin preparation for their drag shows. Last time I was there, out teenagers were allowed to stay, but the littles needed to go home anyway for bedtime. The drag show is wonderful, funny, and very entertaining with top drag queens performing much like any circuit based performer. The comedy is cleanish and mostly full of innuendo, and the singing is real voices. If staying for the shows, we are expected to order a meal as well as alcohol (their burgers really are fantastic), and the wait staff and bartenders are very aware of over serving. There is expected table turnover between shows, unless you order more food. Which is easy because yummy menu and ordering a coke or a tea or a fizzy water is normal. I consider it a family environment. But they are taking a lot of flack from the maga crowd in the FL state government. I'm a 65 year old cis queer woman, and have seen the progression over the years with dismay. I'm looking at France as an alternative to the US for my retirement. Just need to buff up my conversational French.

    • @obsidianjane4413
      @obsidianjane4413 3 месяца назад +1

      Because this subject is gay bars and the connection to alcoholism. And so @3:25 .

  • @TheSunnyOne
    @TheSunnyOne 3 месяца назад +17

    Queer, autistic, disabled, unemployed, trans woman in the UK here.
    If I had a safe, non alcohol focused, place to hang out close to me, I may actually leave my house more than once every few months.
    I'd love a queer cafe or something near me.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 3 месяца назад +2

      Me, too...I could drag myself out if there was a lesbian or queer cafe or coffeehouse nearby! But I'm 10 miles from queer-friendly, increasingly unaffordable major metropolitan Seattle in the U.S. The non-alcoholic drinks would likely be chi-chi and pricey, and the clientele 30+ yrs younger than me, and aggressively "woke" (of the type that forgets that "diversity" includes low income, disabled, neurodivergent, non-Christian, over 35, female, and any other boxes I might check).

  • @carag2567
    @carag2567 3 месяца назад +27

    "...circum certain stamces..." is my absolute favorite part of this video because Jessica did not edit it out, reshoot it, or delete it altogether. I'm hoping that she left it as is, knowing that we, her loving followers, would understand exactly what she meant. So many other content creators would have edited that out. But Jessica pressing on afterwards with her megawatt smile and sunny disposition makes her so authentic to me. I absolutely love this channel ❤️

  • @MusingsFromTheDen
    @MusingsFromTheDen 3 месяца назад +50

    'Department of Homosexuals' sounds like a very Queer Superhero movie and I'm here for it! 😂

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +9

      Superqueero!

    • @AeonZhang
      @AeonZhang 3 месяца назад +3

      ✨🤣✨

    • @thomasjames6680
      @thomasjames6680 3 месяца назад +3

      The Ace Of Spades, fires hot garlic bread from their eyes.

    • @MusingsFromTheDen
      @MusingsFromTheDen 3 месяца назад +1

      ​@@jennifers5560 😂

    • @electronics-girl
      @electronics-girl Месяц назад +2

      It sounds like something from the future, where we get our own Cabinet-level department.

  • @jennifers5560
    @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +172

    Love Jessica’s style of highlighting the issues. Having all of those statistics in one video was eye opening.

  • @Frank-The-44th
    @Frank-The-44th 3 месяца назад +26

    Right now THIS is the education that I want, it’s so nice to see someone explaining and spreading the history of the queer community xx

    • @Frank-The-44th
      @Frank-The-44th 3 месяца назад +7

      Also we NEED to get a wardrobe tour, I love all of your outfits!!!

  • @fraserking4747
    @fraserking4747 3 месяца назад +82

    Didn’t know Jessica had joined Electric Six. Bold step, can’t wait to see how it plays out!

    • @tiffanyblair3911
      @tiffanyblair3911 3 месяца назад +18

      It's going to be stuck in my head for ages, but I'm not mad 😂

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +11

      Of course I just had to search this and just had to watch the video. It is bold!

    • @coolcat020
      @coolcat020 3 месяца назад +6

      im so glad someone else thought this too lol. i saw the title in my notifications and promptly broke into song :P

  • @magicivy
    @magicivy 3 месяца назад +42

    I hope all my queer guys, gals, and nonbinary pals are having a good day 😊💕🌈

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +10

    • @catdownthestreet
      @catdownthestreet 3 месяца назад +4

      Thank you! I hope you are, too :)

    • @roarmaus
      @roarmaus 3 месяца назад +2

      Is yer greeting a Queer Kiwi-ish reference? Yay!

  • @onceichokedon_a_grain_of_rice
    @onceichokedon_a_grain_of_rice 3 месяца назад +37

    I always love her outfit oml

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +8

      Detective Jessica was my favorite!

  • @Sylvieawan
    @Sylvieawan 3 месяца назад +19

    Great video! In Spain, gay bars are often called "bares de ambiente" ("ambiance bars"). The first of them was Tony's bar in Torremolinos (Málaga)... in 1962! (At that time, Spain was still under Franco's regime). It is our "Stonewall", as in 1971 was close after a raid. After Franco's death, gay bars were more popular and almost every town had its gay bar or even gay neighbourhood (as Chueca in Madrid). Nowadays, the majority of bars are mixed. I'm pretty sure in Madrid are gay cafes, not in my city as far as I know, but there are some associations that organise activities for young LGTBQ+ people and being openly gay (like kiss your couple) is not a problem in most places.

  • @michaelnewton5873
    @michaelnewton5873 3 месяца назад +36

    Jessica, Phillippa Gregory has a excellent book out called Normal Women. She covers Gay history in different times of English history as well as other Women's issue from 1300 to 200.

    • @KatjeKat86
      @KatjeKat86 3 месяца назад +3

      My mom is reading that book she recommended it to me about a week ago. She got it because she loves history and especially women's history so it's kind of nice that she's learning a little bit about what people like me had to deal with as well as just history of interesting women.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 3 месяца назад

      Sounds great. To make sure Jessica reads your recommendation, prolly best to DM her...directly.

  • @nyves104
    @nyves104 3 месяца назад +14

    this was a good reminder to look for a queer coffee shop in my area (since I can't drink alcohol either) and I found one! I guess I've got new plans for the weekend

  • @julie_uk_
    @julie_uk_ 3 месяца назад +21

    Jessica swooping in to save my Wednesday with this video! Add AuDHD to that mix & it's not good. I stopped alcohol last April, so one year in 😊 Also thanks for gentle placing the Electric 6 song in my head, a joy ❤🎉

  • @MechakittenX
    @MechakittenX 3 месяца назад +18

    Guess I need to take out that small business loan and be the change I wanna see in the world. Been thinking about sober queer spaces for years. I see there's a demand now.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 3 месяца назад

      Cat cafe / coffeehouse / salon / art gallery / jazz club / bookstore? (wlw-centered, hopefully)

    • @MechakittenX
      @MechakittenX 3 месяца назад +1

      @@nodoboho as a non binary person, I'm uncomfortable in spaces exclusively for men or women, so my place will be open arms to all, with an emphasis on genderqueerness.

  • @MichaelPhillipsatGreyOwlStudio
    @MichaelPhillipsatGreyOwlStudio 3 месяца назад +15

    I struggle to find community spaces because I have Meniere's disease and various vestibular problems, as well as chronic fatigue. In loud environments I cannot distinguish voices from background noise, so even in loud restaurants, communication is pretty much hopeless. Recently, I went to see my first film in the theatre in 9 years, Dune Part 2, and the sound was so loud it was painful, and I couldn't make out anything in the louder action sequences, and then I had dizziness and bedspins for three nights thereafter.

    • @blowitoutyourcunt7675
      @blowitoutyourcunt7675 3 месяца назад

      Cotton balls! It muffles everything to an acceptable level cuz theaters are just too darn loud! YMMV

  • @Katastrophising
    @Katastrophising 3 месяца назад +12

    The detective look is GORGEOUS. I'm obsesses. Not at all the point of this video, but I had to say it

  • @clairelist1060
    @clairelist1060 3 месяца назад +14

    The high rates of alcohol abuse plus the fact that gay bars tend to overserve really is something...

  • @kai_fatallysapphic
    @kai_fatallysapphic 3 месяца назад +10

    I'm 20 so I'll be able to go to gay bars soon, but I'm planning on staying sober, it would be wonderful to have more queer places where drinking isn't expected because I've never been in a room with several other openly queer people

  • @cheyturnervisuals
    @cheyturnervisuals 3 месяца назад +14

    I’m so so SO glad you made this! Finally! I’ve been noticing an effort to create more NA spaces for queers recently. It’s really cool to see someone go into this history and connection.

  • @MossyBear
    @MossyBear 3 месяца назад +4

    I'm in love with your shift into the "wear several cute outfits and change sets occasionally" type of video. more of your cute outfits while I learn things, please!

  • @Joey-kd8lj
    @Joey-kd8lj 3 месяца назад +9

    Sometimes, as a baby queer (not completely figured out yet), queer-specific places can be intimidating. For example, when I was still in London, I went to Gay's the Word and I just felt like I looked like a boring cis straight girl.
    I think sober spaces would be really cool. For me, I enjoy a good dance sesh (I did different types of dance for many years growing up) and sometimes in restaurants I have to repress the urge to just full-on contemperary dance to songs that I know, but at the same time, I also like to talk to people and that's hard when you've got music blasting. Even more so when you're prone to sensory overload. I also can drink, but just never particularly seek it out.

  • @CommissionerManu
    @CommissionerManu 3 месяца назад +8

    I read the title…
    Sick surf rock guitar starts playing louder and louder in my head…
    Lincoln appears before me…

  • @conlon4332
    @conlon4332 3 месяца назад +6

    20:14 As someone who also doesn't drink, I've been considering buying wine to make my own vinegar. My family have been very discouraging, saying it's a waste of money... however I have read online that the nicer the wine the nicer the vinegar, and I do like nice vinegar.

    • @madhatterline
      @madhatterline 3 месяца назад +3

      I mean anything creative can usually be considered a waste of money for some reason or another. It's your money, maybe just give it & go & see how it comes out. 😊

    • @conlon4332
      @conlon4332 3 месяца назад

      @@madhatterline Thank you. Maybe I will.

  • @missnaomi613
    @missnaomi613 3 месяца назад +7

    Somebody, please steal this idea: Gay cat cafe! It's queer, it gets kitties adopted! Everybody wins! (I hear that there are sometimes WAITING LISTS to go to cat cafes, they're so popular!)
    *I know, it isn't for people with cat allergies. No idea is perfect.

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 3 месяца назад

      "Great minds think alike"! I suggested this just several minutes ago in a reply further up the chain. I threw in coffeehouse, art gallery, salon, and bookstore...because...why not...and also I'm all about "multi-functional" and I, personally, would love any or all of those as well.

  • @bethanykennedy812
    @bethanykennedy812 3 месяца назад +5

    There used to be coffee houses around that basically served the same purpose as a bar, but with coffee. The one that was local here closed. I haven't seen many around lately.

  • @swood8464
    @swood8464 3 месяца назад +7

    I am sober now. I am a nonbinary former binge drinker. I used to hang out at gay bars a lot.
    I do feel like there is severe lack of queer sober spaces.

  • @Jiddy12345
    @Jiddy12345 3 месяца назад +10

    Solid Electric Six reference

  • @lynnbrooklyn1332
    @lynnbrooklyn1332 3 месяца назад +15

    Thank you for making informative content that is almost soothing because of your voice. It always brightens my day to see your videos.

  • @ArtichokeHunter
    @ArtichokeHunter 3 месяца назад +4

    As You Are in DC is my favorite. The first floor is basically a cafe with board games and the second floor has a dance floor, full bar, stage etc. (My favorite queer spaces in other spaces I've lived have unfortunately mostly closed.)

  • @sams1982
    @sams1982 3 месяца назад +6

    I want a film noir with Detective Kellgren-Fozard, she is mesmerizing

  • @TisiphoneSeraph
    @TisiphoneSeraph 3 месяца назад +5

    Really glad you talked about access. I'm disabled and sober. I was lucky that there was an LGBT center in the town I was in but the programing was a patchy. I too crave gay cafes.

  • @thehonoredone2361
    @thehonoredone2361 3 месяца назад +16

    Just found this channel. And I have to admit it's very informative and entertaining.

    • @annajackson9001
      @annajackson9001 3 месяца назад +1

      Welcome, have fun watching past videos😊

    • @rksnj6797
      @rksnj6797 3 месяца назад +1

      I love how she can mix humor into her videos to make them fun to watch. She does include a lot of information on many subjects.

  • @drskelebone
    @drskelebone 3 месяца назад +6

    Hey hey! Three cheers for our bisexual friends! Five cheers for our unsure friends!

  • @lyonclaws5737
    @lyonclaws5737 3 месяца назад +6

    jessica you have a very misophonia-friendly voice. i enjoy listening to you read off statistics!! i love learning!!

  • @Neojhun
    @Neojhun 3 месяца назад +5

    Thanks Jess, you have put that ear worm of song back into my head.

  • @emmypadge
    @emmypadge 3 месяца назад

    the cutaways in this video are so wonderful! Also the audio in the cutaways is great as well! Love your work always

  • @jonnysbigworld
    @jonnysbigworld 3 месяца назад +6

    This is such a fun video!!! Love it!!

  • @vapniitinerant2829
    @vapniitinerant2829 3 месяца назад +4

    Such a wonderful video! Jessica, you’ve done it again!

  • @ninjakitteh9095
    @ninjakitteh9095 3 месяца назад +8

    Same about forgetting that 1900s was a century ago 🤣🤣🤣

  • @daniellecook3086
    @daniellecook3086 7 дней назад

    Im finally catching up on your videos (just watched 3 in a row as I process invoices) and your videos are SO GOOD! You are so funny and clever and I appreciate your creativity and energy that you put into these ❤

  • @matelotage723
    @matelotage723 3 месяца назад +2

    As a small town country gay who only moved to the big city of Los Angeles a couple years ago I was astonished by the openness and sheer quantity of gay bars here, I'm still discovering all sorts of cool new venues and locations but I definitely have my favorites

  • @jamielashell
    @jamielashell 3 месяца назад +3

    Excellent video! I laughed & I learned ❤😊 Keep up the great work Jessica! Love your channel!

  • @PhoebeFayRuthLouise
    @PhoebeFayRuthLouise 3 месяца назад +7

    Thank you for another tremendously informative video, Jessica!

  • @a.johnson1860
    @a.johnson1860 3 месяца назад

    I love it when you do history pieces!!! This is outstanding!

  • @LordEveryman
    @LordEveryman 3 месяца назад +1

    Wow, Jessica, what a great script! I am in awe, keep up the good work!

  • @violentinsides
    @violentinsides Месяц назад

    I found this channel today and I am living for Jessica!

  • @edwardlupella6758
    @edwardlupella6758 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you for mentioning the Black Nite Brawl! I did not guess someone from over the pond would find that, but it's fairly well known in our little city. Sadly the bar no longer exists and there's a highway there now.

  • @sierranevada4601
    @sierranevada4601 3 месяца назад +1

    I only found your channel like a day or two ago, but I am very happy to discover an actual source list. Too rare on youtube lol

  • @sallyjordan4869
    @sallyjordan4869 3 месяца назад +1

    Another great history-inflected video, Jessica! And may I say how splendid you looked in all the outfits, particularly the sparkly blue one? 🎀💖🎀

  • @Picklescape
    @Picklescape 3 месяца назад

    Belatedly getting to this video and love the work that's gone into this 👏🏼

  • @carolbuzelim
    @carolbuzelim 3 месяца назад +6

    i dont drink alcoholic beverage, neither does jessica but lets go
    i have to say you look stunning with that blue gown and golden tiara, look like a goddess

  • @crestfallenraven
    @crestfallenraven 3 месяца назад

    Love this! Very educational, and beautiful delivery

  • @seeleunit2000
    @seeleunit2000 3 месяца назад +2

    This has been very informative and I'm pleased to watched this video.

  • @HOHNancy
    @HOHNancy 3 месяца назад +1

    I love the blue gown and you look great in the detective outfit. 🙂 I learned a lot from you in this video! It’s excellent! ❤

  • @Filecabinet0170
    @Filecabinet0170 3 месяца назад +1

    Totally off topic but that blue dress/gown and accompanying accessories ensemble is absolutely gorgeous! 💙 I think I missed a lot of what you were saying whilst admiring these sartorial aspects of the video. I’m new to the channel so if you’ve worn it before it’s new to me.

  • @kathymcbride2425
    @kathymcbride2425 3 месяца назад

    so well put together tar xx

  • @bellablue5285
    @bellablue5285 3 месяца назад +7

    I'm not particularly fond of being around people drinking, admittedly pre-2020 work travel made it a necessity, though I rather preferred the couple of pubs I was in while in the UK over the bars here in the US, though it's definitely a very different vibe in both (and I'll say I've only been to the straight/general version of both, not any specifically gay or queer spaces).
    Off topic, but I love the outfit with the hat and duster - I feel like I should recognize it and I'm not, but it's really cute!

  • @GothWithAGoldenRetriever
    @GothWithAGoldenRetriever 3 месяца назад +2

    Thank you for this! I have very bad reactions to flashing lights and my dietary restrictions make it so usually the only beverage option for me is water. As a young queer person it’s so isolating to hang out with your friends as they get ready for a night out and then… go home because you’re the disabled one who can’t come.

  • @FreyjaFoxx.x
    @FreyjaFoxx.x 3 месяца назад

    I'm happy you're talking about this. I've been dealing with trying to quit because it's not healthy. But like everything we do as a community is super centered around bars and it can be frustrating.
    Also is frustrating to see alcohol companies exploit us for huge profit

  • @lilypudd
    @lilypudd 3 месяца назад

    So great! Great info!

  • @Charlie.1066
    @Charlie.1066 3 месяца назад

    That blue dress was so sparkly and beautiful!! Like a night sky ✨ you always have the best fashion sense

  • @StephS40
    @StephS40 3 месяца назад +1

    Awesome video, Jessica! I have always wondered about the history of these LGBTQ+ bars and other safe spaces for the queer community, and I found your video to be very informative.
    I would love to see a video about members of the LGBTQ+ community who are, or have served in the military.

  • @kaseydexter9736
    @kaseydexter9736 3 месяца назад +3

    I'm always happy to support our local girl bar, Gossip Grill. Though not perfect, it's fairly accessible, well-lit and features an impressive mocktail menu. I was very appreciative during the Pride where I was pregnant 😂😂

  • @licensed_loser
    @licensed_loser 3 месяца назад +29

    hello my queer friends :))❤

  • @maxk4324
    @maxk4324 Месяц назад

    This was such an amazing video to watch, I just found your channel and as a fellow queer person I am loving your content! You have a new subscriber!

  • @emilyrln
    @emilyrln 3 месяца назад

    Your aesthetic is always fire!!!

  • @cynical8330
    @cynical8330 3 месяца назад +2

    "A queer bar can be a safe space but, it is also a bar" well put

  • @M00s3r
    @M00s3r 3 месяца назад +2

    I am so here for Detective Jessica ❤

  • @labestia8099
    @labestia8099 3 месяца назад +1

    This video reminds me of Philosophy Tube’s format. I love it!

  • @QueenKarissa
    @QueenKarissa 3 месяца назад +2

    Thank you as always for the stellar queer content Jessica! The statistics that you shared were very validating as a bisexual adult. I appreciate how much work you put into educating us in a lighthearted manner

  • @parkermae
    @parkermae 3 месяца назад +6

    I don't have words for how much I love the sparkly blue dress! Also, is that a dog in your lap?

    • @jennifers5560
      @jennifers5560 3 месяца назад +3

      That’s Tilly

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 3 месяца назад +1

      Wha? There was an animal? I must have been distracted.... 😳😉

  • @soccersweet11
    @soccersweet11 3 месяца назад +2

    jessica in that blue gown and that white puppy across your lap, you are stunning!🌙✨

  • @AlondraAlvarez-he9lw
    @AlondraAlvarez-he9lw 3 месяца назад +3

    This video was very informative.

  • @Dante-ly1zg
    @Dante-ly1zg 3 месяца назад +5

    I'm glad this video was a history video.

  • @jeskem
    @jeskem 3 месяца назад +1

    While watching this video, my head was playing Electric Six's Gay Bar in the background. Oh how I love it when my brain runs differnt audio tapes at the same time.

  • @FishareFriendsNotFood972
    @FishareFriendsNotFood972 3 месяца назад

    LOVE your blue galaxy frock Jessica!

  • @Werevampiwolf
    @Werevampiwolf 3 месяца назад +5

    Jessica: [explains her medical issues and why she can't really go to bars]
    Other Jessica: "That seems... very specific.
    Me: [also can't drink due to medication, it's also blind in one eye, brain is freaked out by flashing lights, and isn't deaf but does have sensory processing disorder and has trouble with loud noises] "Not as specific as you think, Other Jessica. I feel seen"

  • @stephthebard9037
    @stephthebard9037 2 месяца назад

    Thank you for this history. As a Milwaukee native I never knew about Black Nite, but you can bet your buttons I've learned a lot about it now.

  • @jeffafa3096
    @jeffafa3096 3 месяца назад +4

    *Electric Six intensifies*

  • @melissarmt7330
    @melissarmt7330 3 месяца назад +1

    I love your channel and your style. Where did you get that vintage looking black evening gown? That is stunning!

    • @nodoboho
      @nodoboho 3 месяца назад

      Um, it's blue...but it _is_ stunning, isn't it?

  • @socosoul8294
    @socosoul8294 3 месяца назад +1

    Jessica, you’re an absolute superstar (at the gay bar)

  • @andeverytimewekiss
    @andeverytimewekiss 3 месяца назад +14

    in this video when you’re being all detective-y you remind me of an absolute off-the-wall relative that Ms. Frizzle would mention once to her students when something crazy happens and then they’d all be like, “what?” and she’d just laugh and be like “jessica was a hoot!” (edit to also apply this to when you’re wearing that blue dress and drinking what i can only assume is grape juice)

  • @mxclaireharris
    @mxclaireharris 3 месяца назад +2

    A club near me has one of those user operated lifts. I've been going there about 10 years and it was breaking then, now it's completely gone and they won't fix it. There's big events that go on there and I'm unable to attend. Event organisers are seeing a hit because of it and begged them to fix it but nothing has happened.

  • @lmcb8447
    @lmcb8447 3 месяца назад +4

    Gay bar, gay bar !! 🎶 🎵