I was adopted as an infant. My parents always let me know I was adopted from an early age and mad me okay with it. I'm in my 50's now, and the people who adopted me and raised me have always been my only parents.
I don't understand all the dislikes and negative comments. Alternative families are a serious topic and it significantly influences the lives of people that are raised in them, i should know since i'm adopted. Adopted children deserve to know their biological family/background (if they so choose), and children who are born from sperm donation also deserve to know their biological family/background (if they so choose). The psychological impact that alternative families have on their members is significant, and it's sad to see so many dislikes on a topic like this because people don't have the patience for ethical philosophy, or they don't watch the video because they immediately disregard it as feminist, liberal, SJW, propaganda, or some other thing
No, you don’t deserve anything in life. If I asked to never be found I expect to never be found. Why does it mater anyways , don’t you have people that love you , isn’t that enough?
Why do I never hear a serious contemplation on the rights of the man. Most donors give on condition of annominty, to then legaly change that is unfair to the person who acted altruisticly. But who cares, they're just men and so don't deserve Human Rights!
@@harveydent1731 Yes, they have the right to find you out, you have the right to not to response to that. Sorry, It does not matter what document did you sign, no one cant stop a person from investigate his history, genetics.
"what is a parent?" "its not an easy question" i beg to differ! a parent is someone who treats you as their own child, the person who raises you, looks after you, picks you up when you fall over, teaches you valuable life lessons. that was easy.
Vital Liao If you think they are yes, but if you are an abusive parent you don’t treat your child as your own, raise them well, looks after you, etc, like Autumn said.
Her advice to create your own family narrative and just let your child know how much it is loved is great! People tend to drive themselves crazy by trying to be perfect and doing everything tight, so listening to your intuition and worrying less when it comes to your family seems like a sound plan. Parents are the people who lovingly raise a child, regardless of whether they're genetically related to the kid.
I'm know my biological dad but not the egg donor. I would like to meet the person who donated the eggs as they share DNA but I don't consider her my mother.
@@Dimanto22 but i dont have any emotional connection to her. she didnt raise me. If someone asks me who my mother is I would say the woman who raised me not the woman who donated eggs.
@@Dimanto22 no she's not her mother. A mother is the woman who carried her for 9 months, went into labor to give birth to her, took care of her, bathed her and fed her... That is a mother. The egg donor is a gamete provider, and that's it... Nothing more.
jllvndnbrk -- do you feel like that helped you a lot more? Genuinely asking. I'm super curious. And were you ever tempted to find your donor or did you not really care too much? Was it even an option? Sorry, so many questions
Ultimately she says to be honest with whatever "small human" your trying to raise. Dishonesty ultimately crestes a negative bonding between offspring an parent.... whether it be biological or not... which i suppose ultimately means our children are way smarter than we give them credit for lol
I can't stand most of the recent social -engineering- "justice" presentations TED has been publishing, but I thought this presentation was very interesting and informative. It just seems like small minded idiots lumping it into the same category and disliking it out of hand.
The Chidds Yeah, it wasn't part of the Social "Justice" narrative they've been pushing. However, while I found the topic to be of interest, the presentation was lackluster.
Dominic Cordova I can agree with that. Unfortunately, not everyone is a natural at public speaking. I try to look past such superficial characteristics.
MajkaSrajka Yes, it was a generalisation. It's not an unreasonable generalisation, though. I'm sure people disliked the video for genuine reasons other than a reflex reaction against SJW nonsense. When I looked through the comments the other day I failed to come across another reason. All I found were extremely vapid anti social "justice" comments. There was nothing concerning the specific content. This demonstrates to me that people didn't even take the time to watch the presentation. So yes, those individuals who disliked the video without even taking the time to consider its content _are_ idiots.
I rate the comments on this video 3/10. Trolls are spongey and pallid, and the overall tone just screams, "Trolling feels like woooork why can't I just fling feces like I do in real life?"
More women should consider sperm banks especially ones who have had traumatic experiences with men and do not want to coparent. More men should donate if they know they are not good partners. -a feminist perspective
You incorrectly wrote feminist perspective instead instead misandrist perspective. If having a male coparent/known donor in an uncle role isn’t something a single woman can handle, then they aren’t emotionally capable of raising a child especially a son be they cis or trans.
The women could be scarred and do just fine as a single parent. Sorry to break your heart. But people live and love in all sorts of hopeless conditions. Have fun with your love for men but plenty of animals in this world without males to raise son and daughter. Mothers who are married to fathers can parent their kids without the fathers input at all. Because they are simply better at it (in some scenarios)
@@aleenasaha986 Statistically single parent’s children do dramatically worse in every area from education achievements to mental health issues like suicide rates. Sorry to break your heart, but those children are also multiple times more likely to go to jail too. Being too scarred to coparent or have a known donor isn’t going to work out well, for how they treat their sons.
Is the judicial system dramatically less likely to prosecute criminals from dual parent homes? Are teachers discriminating against them too? Docking points for not having dads?
A very one-sided and euphemistic look at the industry... completely ignores that many donor-conceived children feel the need to seek out their donor/s to know more about themselves, where they come from, and to know the other half of their genetic family- biological father, mother (egg donor), grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Many donor-conceived children also feel a disconnect from their social parent/s.The recent legislation in Victoria, Australia is telling: all donor-conceived Victorians, irrespective of when they were conceived, now have the right to identifying information about their donor/s. This legislation exists for a reason; it was brought about predominantly because donor-conceived Victorians lobbied for the change. Parliamentarians acknowledged that children have the human right to know who their genetic parents are. Donors in Victoria can also apply to find out identifying information about their genetic children (but the donor-conceived child must agree to the release of this information). Props to the speaker, though, for advocating honesty and discussion. I just wanted to post this to balance out her discussion a bit.
Every kid has three fathers. A legal one, a biological one and a social one. In the best case that is one person. But claiming to be the biological father, if you are not, is igonorant.
For An Angel It doesn't provide a full view of the topic. That's what's wrong with it. No, I didn't imply that. You just came to that assumption. The same thing that happened to this one.
Before you dislike, like the stream of right wing trolls keep doing, note that psychology is a science, this talk is about psychology, and these are literal issues that are quite often, especially in the US. This is an informative talk. Just because it has to do with social justice doesn't make it illegitimate. You probably will dislike because she talks about lesbian couples and said we are heteronormative. Yes, our society is too heteronormative, meaning too many people think it should be man, woman, and missionary position with their own genetic child. Well, not every person can have children, and there are more children in foster care and wanting to be adopted than there are families willing to adopt. People have told me they feel bad for me because I was adopted. My adoptive parents are my parents and have loved me like any other. And yes, children have these questions and a huge slew of them. Being informed on how to answer your children is always amazing.
Our society isnt too heteronormative And if it was it’s because heterosexual make the most kids without having to make a deal with someone. I just wanna know what other society besides western ones have openly gay communities?
The people that love you is all you should need (and medical records with redacted names ). Jacking off in a cup and handing it off to a person with white or blue gloves should be the only involvement required.
I feel asking the philosophy of a young child, seems inherently flawed. I would be interested in seeing how the kids feel about 10 year later once they fully understand the situation. I would guess they feel the donor is an important part of there family, just below in importance to there home family.
Larsonthewolf I completely agree. I am donor conceived and I just finished saying this to someone in the same room as me after watching this. To me my donor and his family are my family and I feel continual loss and hiraeth from their absence.
Larsonthewolf I’m donor conceived and I definitely don’t consider them family, my family are the people that raised me, I consider him a father, and relative, but not a dad and family.
I believe we have over exaggerated the importance of blood relatives and it has confused our perception of love. Love is earnt not deserved. However, whilst the sperm or the egg can become insignificant if not deserved, there is always a potential to earn love. Always. Because love is abundant and this is the key point. So if you have a child or any "loved" one and expect their love only to apply to you, you're not experiencing love and you're not encouraging it either. The relationship exists primarily to serve your needs first, which is actually the kryptonite to love. Love is about giving not receiving as it about being earned and not deserved. If your love for someone cannot encompass enough room for the other person to experience their life to the fullest, you don't love that person you're simply connected to a specific version of them that makes you feel comfortable. Love is whole. Yes, genetically we're prewired to protect our unit family for suvival purposes. However, this is separate from love and really only serves a purpose when you're survival is being threatened. Pure love has no restrictions or requirements. It doesn't come in smaller packages or in different forms. It doesn't take time out or work part time. In its truest form love is simply and unequivocally abundant and whole.
This should seem obvious, but children have a natural right to their biological mother and father. No adult has an absolute right to have a child. As with any right, your right ends when another's begins. Your right to have a child ends where that child's rights begin. So it follows that the only time a child should arrive in a home where they are not biologically related to both parents is when they are placed in that home as a means of rescue, aka adoption. Why? Because adoption aims to repair an already (and usually irreparably) broken bond, not create one. In adoption the CHILD is the client. In third-party reproduction, the adult is the client. Adoption's goal is to meet the child's needs, the goal of third-party reproduction is to meet adult desires.
such a cool one. You have to be open so those around you can know you as a trustworthy and dependable person. Not to say that one should divulge every detail about themselves.
It was really interesting, but I hoped to hear more examples of these families, especially about mom's families. I think that today it is one of the most interesting themes (homosexual parents) and we have no right to say that such parents shouldn't have children, cause we have not enough researches about how those children feel in such families, what they think and how they grow up. All I can ask all people who think that unconventional families should not exist - such let scientists explore that, cause only individual opinion is subjective, but we need objective facts.
''I feel as though I have three families, but that I don’t belong wholly to any of them; that I exist in a limbo, torn between the expectations of who and what should or shouldn’t matter to me. I feel as though my paternity was split down the middle; that I am a branch grafted onto a different tree. I have flourished, but my fruit is not the same and my roots lie elsewhere. I feel a great loss of not being genetically related to my Dad, and of not having known Michael and his family for the first twenty years of my life. I feel a loss from knowing that I have three unknown half-sisters out there somewhere. It’s difficult to articulate exactly how deep that emotion runs in me. I do know that just thinking about it almost always brings me to tears (Walker, 2006, p. 24).''
As humanity grows civili- zation, the question of 'should' lags further and further behind the acceptance and then the 'practice' of 'can'. Ethics, religion, the morals of recognized folkways and morés, and the responsibilities to the community of humanity - becomes an ever-greater adversary to science, to the concepts of progress and development, and to growing technologies. I hope that it is forever recognized that without the latter, we would no longer be people. And 'civilization' will never be more wanting of true meaning.
Thank you for this talk. I have started looking into sperm donation for becoming a mother and this question, along with all the negativism I have received from friends and family, has been weighing upon me.
I'm in this position right now. I'm torn by my deep desire to have a child (adoption is not an easy option in my country) and then ethical dilemma of denying my child a father. Did you end up doing it? How did it turn out for you?
Nimity Tei the children don't have a choice. They do have the right to be raised by their genetic parents. If we'd respect childrights, gamete donation would be illegal. Children are not commodities.
Meh it's ok it's the internet. She won't feel offended because she's a social scientist, she probably understand better than anyone how stupid and hopeless the average guy on youtube is.
Whats the purpose of life if eventually life or should I say production begins at incubation? The rest of us still have a legitimate question for OUR questions regarding origin. However, if the future consists of PRODUCING offspring from incubation centers then is it still considered “advancing our species in search of the meaning of life and our purpose” or is it “copy and paste” purgatory?
Crimson Corsair but they start asking questions at 3-4. You're about 9-10 years too late. By 13 they're not really interested in talking to you anyways. If you don't provide them with answers, they'll just get it from somewhere else
The practice of surrogate mothers and sperm donations can lead to disasterous situations. The sperm and egg must come from a compatible couple and raised by that exact couple. This is to maximize awareness in raising and love towards the child and vice versa. Contrary to popular belief, a child isn't a "blank slate". Genetics is everything, and it is foolish to use a strangers sperm/womb to create a child. You don't know what you are dealing with.
Genetics is not "everything", this is been conclusively proven. Thanks to technology, we can see look at all the genes in a person's DNA and see if there are any major defects.
ok lol it isn’t that complex, if we are going with the first definition of family on google (a household you live with and are raised with) no obviously. The second (descendants of a common ancestor) yes obviously. And it depends on the person, and the donor. All different.
This doesn't appear to have to been too scientific. Additionally young children can't really grasp these concepts, this should be done with donor conceived adults. This is a very biased view of the topic.
Could you enlighten me why this is so disturbing for you? Psychologists have been studying children and their way of thinking since the end of the 18th century. And seeing as she has a Masters in gerontology I don't think it is important whether she has children herself.
+Trexmaster12 So we can't analyze humans' thinking and behaviour? Psychology as a science has been present since at least the 17th century and is just as useful as biological medicine.
At home self-insemination costs about $300 per attempt (6 months being the average to become pregnant). Adoption can easily cost $10,000-$40,000, not to mention having to gain approval of case workers, birth parents (if adopting domestically), and having to worry for months about the birth parents changing their minds and challenging the adoption. In addition, sperm/egg donor conceived babies allow parents to have children who are biologically related to one of them and allows the parents to control/experience pregnancy. There are many reasons why donor conception is preferable to adoption for many couples (especially gay/lesbians who may face discrimination from faith-based adoption agencies).
Because most of the children in the UK are forcibly removed from their families until today and while a lot of adoptions are justified, there are many which are not. Also, it takes more than 2-3 years to adopt. International adoptions are very often flawed as legal documents are forged.
DeoMachina I actually hate people like you. People who want to hate on other people or think their superior or something but can't read. Read the comment over again. No where does it say that the person who posted this doesn't like the video. In fact it says just about the opposite. This comment refers to people, meaning NOT HIM. Go to school again please.
Peter Stevens, read DeoMachina's comment again. Nowhere does it say that the person who posted this believes that PapaKay doesn't like the video. DeoMachina was pointing out that despite this video having an apparently 'clickrepellant' title, PapaKay still clicked on it. DeoMachina was pointing out the irony, not hating. I too wish to point out the irony in the fact that the person who says DeoMachina cannot read, does not know the difference between "they're" and "their" or the difference between "No where" and "Nowhere". It is also ironic how you "hate people" who "hate people". I'm not hating, I'm laughing.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (That's what the speaker says, and I agree.) If the question were rephrased as "Are sperm donors family?" instead of "Do kids think of sperm donors as family?", the answer would be unequivocal.
ethan intellekt virtue signaling oh sorry, is this the thread where we just regurgitate random bullshit buzzwords created by anti-progress internet trolls?
Rohan, in what way is this running out of ideas? Besides, their staff is only responsible for providing the coverage for the talks and all that technical stuff, the people who speak are scientists and professionals in their field who provide their own research and experiments (this is an example of an experiment via interviews and conversations) and are in no way the staff of TED. They were invited to talk infront of other professionals in their own fields as well who were also likely invited to speak.
My thumb down was referred to the quality of the speaker's oratory, and not related to the controversial nature of the topic. You have to step up your game, girl...
DeoMachina He's saying she gave a lackluster and boring presentation. Which I happen to agree with, she lacked any semblance of charisma. She seemed to have some passion, but was not able to channel that into her talk. Honestly this isn't a Good TED Talk. Not a horrible or bad one, but very mediocre.
"What is a parent is not an easy question." Yeah it is. Biological mother and father, then you have the emotional mother and father than raised the kid. What the heck is this in my feed
>Psychology >Science Pick one. Remember: One of the founders of that pseudo science was a drug addicted idiot with a mother complex (pun intended). Nearly all of his "findings" have been rebutted in the meantime. Besides, I have watched this video in full length. It's about a subject absolutely not worth studying. A mere waste of time and money. And I wouldn't mind if I wasn't paying taxes in my county for such crap. Science = STEM, hard science that aims at unveiling the secrets of nature. In contrast, social "science" is mostly just navel-gazing.
Who cares? You tell the kids to mind their damn business and move on. Thinking is not their strong suit. I think you meant "how do they feel" which they're even worse at. All this coddling is whats fucking up the kids. Telling them their feelings don't matter very much, and making sure they know they aren't the center of the universe better prepares them for the real world. Giving them an eternal hug into their 20's is setting them up for failure. If a teen says, "I dont have to listen to you, you're not even really my dad", you don't take them to counseling unless that is the name of your belt. That's how you do social justice.
Beating up kids is how you create adults with violent tendencies. It's good that you won't become a father, since you clearly have no idea how to perform in that role.
pentuplemintgum666 "Hitting kids with a belt is social justice" That's what you said. You tried to play it off as "a few swats" later, but you forgot to edit your first post I guess?
play what off? heh? you know its possible to give a kid a few swats with a belt, right? I never said smack them full force in the face with the buckle. Are you okay?
oh ouch! You sound like you had a tough childhood. It's ok man, come rest your head on my shoulder and cry for a bit. There's no shame and nobody is going to judge you. It really feels good to shed some manly tears from time to time
I was adopted as an infant. My parents always let me know I was adopted from an early age and mad me okay with it. I'm in my 50's now, and the people who adopted me and raised me have always been my only parents.
I don't understand all the dislikes and negative comments. Alternative families are a serious topic and it significantly influences the lives of people that are raised in them, i should know since i'm adopted. Adopted children deserve to know their biological family/background (if they so choose), and children who are born from sperm donation also deserve to know their biological family/background (if they so choose). The psychological impact that alternative families have on their members is significant, and it's sad to see so many dislikes on a topic like this because people don't have the patience for ethical philosophy, or they don't watch the video because they immediately disregard it as feminist, liberal, SJW, propaganda, or some other thing
No, you don’t deserve anything in life. If I asked to never be found I expect to never be found. Why does it mater anyways , don’t you have people that love you , isn’t that enough?
Derek Kirwan of course if the sperm donor is ok with it, they signed up to bring life into the world, not to become a dad
Why do I never hear a serious contemplation on the rights of the man. Most donors give on condition of annominty, to then legaly change that is unfair to the person who acted altruisticly.
But who cares, they're just men and so don't deserve Human Rights!
@@chadcadsonvii5258 A man who deliberately signs a document to abandon his own child is not a man at all.
@@harveydent1731 Yes, they have the right to find you out, you have the right to not to response to that. Sorry, It does not matter what document did you sign, no one cant stop a person from investigate his history, genetics.
I was adopted from alcoholic parents and given better life. That's how I see my own life and not concentrated on the people around me.
"what is a parent?" "its not an easy question" i beg to differ! a parent is someone who treats you as their own child, the person who raises you, looks after you, picks you up when you fall over, teaches you valuable life lessons. that was easy.
im sorry i literally learned nothing from this...
How about in some situation that parents beat their child and bully them and treat them very badly? Is that still being consider as a parents???
Vital Liao Considering they did the opposite of what she stated in the first comment I’ll let you figure it out for yourself .
Vital Liao If you think they are yes, but if you are an abusive parent you don’t treat your child as your own, raise them well, looks after you, etc, like Autumn said.
Her advice to create your own family narrative and just let your child know how much it is loved is great! People tend to drive themselves crazy by trying to be perfect and doing everything tight, so listening to your intuition and worrying less when it comes to your family seems like a sound plan. Parents are the people who lovingly raise a child, regardless of whether they're genetically related to the kid.
I'm know my biological dad but not the egg donor. I would like to meet the person who donated the eggs as they share DNA but I don't consider her my mother.
I
But she is. A mother is the one who provided the egg from which you came.
@@Dimanto22 but i dont have any emotional connection to her. she didnt raise me. If someone asks me who my mother is I would say the woman who raised me not the woman who donated eggs.
Alessio Oissela no, it is not. Mother is the person that takes care of the children, and raise him/her. Donor just sell a cell
@@Dimanto22 no she's not her mother. A mother is the woman who carried her for 9 months, went into labor to give birth to her, took care of her, bathed her and fed her... That is a mother. The egg donor is a gamete provider, and that's it... Nothing more.
It depends what the mother tells the kid.
depends on the age, i was told the whole truth/story. my parents were very open about it :)
😒 *So when will TED do a talk called "Do kids think of egg donors as family?"* 😒
jllvndnbrk -- do you feel like that helped you a lot more? Genuinely asking. I'm super curious. And were you ever tempted to find your donor or did you not really care too much? Was it even an option? Sorry, so many questions
Ultimately she says to be honest with whatever "small human" your trying to raise. Dishonesty ultimately crestes a negative bonding between offspring an parent.... whether it be biological or not... which i suppose ultimately means our children are way smarter than we give them credit for lol
I can't stand most of the recent social -engineering- "justice" presentations TED has been publishing, but I thought this presentation was very interesting and informative. It just seems like small minded idiots lumping it into the same category and disliking it out of hand.
The Chidds Yeah, it wasn't part of the Social "Justice" narrative they've been pushing. However, while I found the topic to be of interest, the presentation was lackluster.
Dominic Cordova
I can agree with that. Unfortunately, not everyone is a natural at public speaking. I try to look past such superficial characteristics.
***** I wouldn't consider it to be a superficial characteristic. But, I can see your point.
generalising people that dislike this video and calling them idiots.
seem legit.
MajkaSrajka
Yes, it was a generalisation. It's not an unreasonable generalisation, though. I'm sure people disliked the video for genuine reasons other than a reflex reaction against SJW nonsense. When I looked through the comments the other day I failed to come across another reason. All I found were extremely vapid anti social "justice" comments. There was nothing concerning the specific content. This demonstrates to me that people didn't even take the time to watch the presentation. So yes, those individuals who disliked the video without even taking the time to consider its content _are_ idiots.
I rate the comments on this video 3/10. Trolls are spongey and pallid, and the overall tone just screams, "Trolling feels like woooork why can't I just fling feces like I do in real life?"
Cedar Bobedar -- seriously, right?
Praise kek.
this makes me want to cry I love my mom, and I'm proud to be a AI child.
More women should consider sperm banks especially ones who have had traumatic experiences with men and do not want to coparent. More men should donate if they know they are not good partners. -a feminist perspective
You incorrectly wrote feminist perspective instead instead misandrist perspective.
If having a male coparent/known donor in an uncle role isn’t something a single woman can handle, then they aren’t emotionally capable of raising a child especially a son be they cis or trans.
The women could be scarred and do just fine as a single parent. Sorry to break your heart. But people live and love in all sorts of hopeless conditions. Have fun with your love for men but plenty of animals in this world without males to raise son and daughter. Mothers who are married to fathers can parent their kids without the fathers input at all. Because they are simply better at it (in some scenarios)
@@aleenasaha986 Statistically single parent’s children do dramatically worse in every area from education achievements to mental health issues like suicide rates. Sorry to break your heart, but those children are also multiple times more likely to go to jail too.
Being too scarred to coparent or have a known donor isn’t going to work out well, for how they treat their sons.
Statistics is just a measure of a stereotype that is enforced by people like you cheers keep breaking your own heart
Is the judicial system dramatically less likely to prosecute criminals from dual parent homes? Are teachers discriminating against them too? Docking points for not having dads?
A very one-sided and euphemistic look at the industry... completely ignores that many donor-conceived children feel the need to seek out their donor/s to know more about themselves, where they come from, and to know the other half of their genetic family- biological father, mother (egg donor), grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Many donor-conceived children also feel a disconnect from their social parent/s.The recent legislation in Victoria, Australia is telling: all donor-conceived Victorians, irrespective of when they were conceived, now have the right to identifying information about their donor/s. This legislation exists for a reason; it was brought about predominantly because donor-conceived Victorians lobbied for the change. Parliamentarians acknowledged that children have the human right to know who their genetic parents are. Donors in Victoria can also apply to find out identifying information about their genetic children (but the donor-conceived child must agree to the release of this information). Props to the speaker, though, for advocating honesty and discussion. I just wanted to post this to balance out her discussion a bit.
Megz so true! Thank you!!!!
Every kid has three fathers. A legal one, a biological one and a social one. In the best case that is one person. But claiming to be the biological father, if you are not, is igonorant.
😒 *So when will TED do a talk called "Do kids think of egg donors as family?"* 😒
For An Angel It doesn't provide a full view of the topic. That's what's wrong with it.
No, I didn't imply that. You just came to that assumption.
The same thing that happened to this one.
Before you dislike, like the stream of right wing trolls keep doing, note that psychology is a science, this talk is about psychology, and these are literal issues that are quite often, especially in the US. This is an informative talk. Just because it has to do with social justice doesn't make it illegitimate. You probably will dislike because she talks about lesbian couples and said we are heteronormative. Yes, our society is too heteronormative, meaning too many people think it should be man, woman, and missionary position with their own genetic child. Well, not every person can have children, and there are more children in foster care and wanting to be adopted than there are families willing to adopt. People have told me they feel bad for me because I was adopted. My adoptive parents are my parents and have loved me like any other. And yes, children have these questions and a huge slew of them. Being informed on how to answer your children is always amazing.
👌👏👏
Wow troll is that what you call people that you disagree with I fell sorry for you.
Our society isnt too heteronormative And if it was it’s because heterosexual make the most kids without having to make a deal with someone.
I just wanna know what other society besides western ones have openly gay communities?
The people that love you is all you should need (and medical records with redacted names ).
Jacking off in a cup and handing it off to a person with white or blue gloves should be the only involvement required.
parent - guardian, thats all you need how fucking hard is it.
parents: made the kid.
guardian: raises the kid (or takes care if the kid).
I feel asking the philosophy of a young child, seems inherently flawed. I would be interested in seeing how the kids feel about 10 year later once they fully understand the situation. I would guess they feel the donor is an important part of there family, just below in importance to there home family.
Larsonthewolf
I completely agree. I am donor conceived and I just finished saying this to someone in the same room as me after watching this. To me my donor and his family are my family and I feel continual loss and hiraeth from their absence.
Larsonthewolf I’m donor conceived and I definitely don’t consider them family, my family are the people that raised me, I consider him a father, and relative, but not a dad and family.
@@Maya-ud4se you should tell your story
@@ResidentGlitterCrazy How old where you when you learned that you came from a donor? thanks
I believe we have over exaggerated the importance of blood relatives and it has confused our perception of love. Love is earnt not deserved. However, whilst the sperm or the egg can become insignificant if not deserved, there is always a potential to earn love. Always. Because love is abundant and this is the key point. So if you have a child or any "loved" one and expect their love only to apply to you, you're not experiencing love and you're not encouraging it either. The relationship exists primarily to serve your needs first, which is actually the kryptonite to love. Love is about giving not receiving as it about being earned and not deserved. If your love for someone cannot encompass enough room for the other person to experience their life to the fullest, you don't love that person you're simply connected to a specific version of them that makes you feel comfortable. Love is whole. Yes, genetically we're prewired to protect our unit family for suvival purposes. However, this is separate from love and really only serves a purpose when you're survival is being threatened. Pure love has no restrictions or requirements. It doesn't come in smaller packages or in different forms. It doesn't take time out or work part time. In its truest form love is simply and unequivocally abundant and whole.
This should seem obvious, but children have a natural right to their biological mother and father. No adult has an absolute right to have a child. As with any right, your right ends when another's begins. Your right to have a child ends where that child's rights begin.
So it follows that the only time a child should arrive in a home where they are not biologically related to both parents is when they are placed in that home as a means of rescue, aka adoption. Why? Because adoption aims to repair an already (and usually irreparably) broken bond, not create one. In adoption the CHILD is the client. In third-party reproduction, the adult is the client. Adoption's goal is to meet the child's needs, the goal of third-party reproduction is to meet adult desires.
Best comment.
I agree
such a cool one. You have to be open so those around you can know you as a trustworthy and dependable person. Not to say that one should divulge every detail about themselves.
It was really interesting, but I hoped to hear more examples of these families, especially about mom's families. I think that today it is one of the most interesting themes (homosexual parents) and we have no right to say that such parents shouldn't have children, cause we have not enough researches about how those children feel in such families, what they think and how they grow up. All I can ask all people who think that unconventional families should not exist - such let scientists explore that, cause only individual opinion is subjective, but we need objective facts.
I donor
''I feel as though I have three families, but that I don’t belong wholly to any of them; that I exist in a limbo, torn between the expectations of who and what should or shouldn’t matter to me. I feel as though my paternity was split down the middle; that I am a branch grafted onto a different tree. I have flourished, but my fruit is not the same and my roots lie elsewhere. I feel a great loss of not being genetically related to my Dad, and of not having known Michael and his family for the first twenty years of my life. I feel a loss from knowing that I have three unknown half-sisters out there somewhere. It’s difficult to articulate exactly how deep that emotion runs in me. I do know that just thinking about it almost always brings me to tears (Walker, 2006, p. 24).''
Beautiful messages in this video which touched my soul
As humanity grows civili-
zation, the question of 'should' lags further and further behind the acceptance and then the 'practice' of 'can'.
Ethics, religion, the morals of recognized folkways and morés, and the responsibilities to the community of humanity -
becomes an ever-greater adversary to science, to the concepts of progress and development, and to growing technologies.
I hope that it is forever recognized that without the latter, we would no longer be people.
And 'civilization' will never be more wanting of true meaning.
i think i would want to know my dad if he was a sperm donor, hes a part of half of my history
Furthermore, it helps to extrapolate medical history.
Even in the case of a lesbian couple, a child might need a male perspective someday.
Kinda selfish eh
If kids today have a question, I would have thought they'd just google it on the mobile phones they get once they turn 5...
I remember watching ted and I would find really cool things but this is boring :/
vid was uploaded 2 mins ago.
***** Yes, yes it was
Then why bother watching and commenting? If it doesn't apply to you, move along. Some parents or future parents are really interested
If the kid grow up may he wonder why my appearance are totally looking different to my parents. That would be awkward..
Just tell him that some black people make white kids then show him pictures . Gotta be creative mate .
Tell them the Truth. what other way is there.
Thank you for this talk. I have started looking into sperm donation for becoming a mother and this question, along with all the negativism I have received from friends and family, has been weighing upon me.
I'm in this position right now. I'm torn by my deep desire to have a child (adoption is not an easy option in my country) and then ethical dilemma of denying my child a father. Did you end up doing it? How did it turn out for you?
Family is, who you choose to be your family. Not your blood.
Nimity Tei the children don't have a choice.
They do have the right to be raised by their genetic parents. If we'd respect childrights, gamete donation would be illegal. Children are not commodities.
Why so many dislikes?
Meh it's ok it's the internet. She won't feel offended because she's a social scientist, she probably understand better than anyone how stupid and hopeless the average guy on youtube is.
*...how sick people are of seeing feminist dribbling on the internet.
FIFY
she doesn''t have any energy which made this so boring to watch
Happens every time a woman takes the stage
Brandon Skrambled Eggs Free will.
I'm not a kid, but I think of all my sperm donors as family.
Whats the purpose of life if eventually life or should I say production begins at incubation? The rest of us still have a legitimate question for OUR questions regarding origin.
However, if the future consists of PRODUCING offspring from incubation centers then is it still considered “advancing our species in search of the meaning of life and our purpose” or is it “copy and paste” purgatory?
This helped me out. I even took notes on those last 3 tips of advice!!
Put the speed at rate 1.25, you are welcome.
"I'm a philosopher"
Okay
"So I asked children some abstract questions"
HAHAHAHA
because they are still apart of us.
am I a good enough parent? that is the question.
So many kids have one parent. What if a child could have three?
If you mean three genetic parents, it has been done recently. Look it up.
TED talk? Seriously?
*TEDx talk
Yeah, it's an easy question.
Yes, I think about him as my only real father and the woman who gestated me I see today as my incubator.
Yes my Dad was a sperm donor. Nothing more.
tell the child at least when they are 13 years old.
Crimson Corsair but they start asking questions at 3-4. You're about 9-10 years too late. By 13 they're not really interested in talking to you anyways. If you don't provide them with answers, they'll just get it from somewhere else
orangeradios . k
The practice of surrogate mothers and sperm donations can lead to disasterous situations. The sperm and egg must come from a compatible couple and raised by that exact couple. This is to maximize awareness in raising and love towards the child and vice versa.
Contrary to popular belief, a child isn't a "blank slate". Genetics is everything, and it is foolish to use a strangers sperm/womb to create a child. You don't know what you are dealing with.
Genetics is not "everything", this is been conclusively proven. Thanks to technology, we can see look at all the genes in a person's DNA and see if there are any major defects.
Of course it isn't everything, but it IS the defining factor.
wijaya47
Defining factor in what?
+wijaya47
Have you read "The blank slate" by Steven Pinker? I recommend it.
Hassenboy
And..you think they let just anybody donate sperm? No.
ok lol it isn’t that complex, if we are going with the first definition of family on google (a household you live with and are raised with) no obviously. The second (descendants of a common ancestor) yes obviously. And it depends on the person, and the donor. All different.
what is apparent
TIL: Bioethics is the most boring thing iv ever heard of.
Maybe, but it's pretty important.
And yet here you are.
@chas ames Do you not know what TIL means?
TIL: What TIL stands for. Literally. I had to google it XD
Bioethics is interesting but this was a boring topic
Was that a masturbation joke right at the end?
whatever they think surely that's their choice and its ok to think that. anyone got a problem with that?
Even if i had dire money problems i would not become a sperm donor. To say it with the words of an admiral: "It's a trap!".
I think that this talk is apparent....
8:50 "No, you do not have a dad." Lie to your kids. Great parenting strategy! And they mock those who believe the Bible literally?
There are no parents who have not lied to their children.
DeoMachina True, but typically not about their provenance.
pablo ordoñez yes.
That's really weird, but i guess its up to your interpretation
This doesn't appear to have to been too scientific. Additionally young children can't really grasp these concepts, this should be done with donor conceived adults. This is a very biased view of the topic.
Very informative
"ParenCeco" (kun C), ne parenTeco (kun T) (en Esperanto subteksto)
I subscribed to TED, not to TEDx.
Psychology is still a science
Bam
BTFO
no they are not. technically they are not human.
Seeing a woman near her mid life age, trying to understand what kids think and explain it to an audience, is disturbing to say the least.
Could you enlighten me why this is so disturbing for you? Psychologists have been studying children and their way of thinking since the end of the 18th century. And seeing as she has a Masters in gerontology I don't think it is important whether she has children herself.
So now, children are test subjects, not humans.
Are you seriously implying that humans cannot be test subjects?
+Trexmaster12 So we can't analyze humans' thinking and behaviour? Psychology as a science has been present since at least the 17th century and is just as useful as biological medicine.
Test subjects? Is she injecting them with radioactive drugs? No, she is asking them simple allegoric questions you little snowflake.
Cute and intellectual - that's a strong combination, I must admit.
HUH???
Can someone tell me why people don't just adopt a child ?
At home self-insemination costs about $300 per attempt (6 months being the average to become pregnant). Adoption can easily cost $10,000-$40,000, not to mention having to gain approval of case workers, birth parents (if adopting domestically), and having to worry for months about the birth parents changing their minds and challenging the adoption. In addition, sperm/egg donor conceived babies allow parents to have children who are biologically related to one of them and allows the parents to control/experience pregnancy.
There are many reasons why donor conception is preferable to adoption for many couples (especially gay/lesbians who may face discrimination from faith-based adoption agencies).
Cassandra'sCurse no way thanks
No worries :)
Because most of the children in the UK are forcibly removed from their families until today and while a lot of adoptions are justified, there are many which are not. Also, it takes more than 2-3 years to adopt.
International adoptions are very often flawed as legal documents are forged.
This title is the opposite of clickbait. Instead of making the video seem better, it makes people want to never watch ted talks again
Yet here you are
DeoMachina I actually hate people like you. People who want to hate on other people or think their superior or something but can't read. Read the comment over again. No where does it say that the person who posted this doesn't like the video. In fact it says just about the opposite. This comment refers to people, meaning NOT HIM. Go to school again please.
Peter Stevens, read DeoMachina's comment again. Nowhere does it say that the person who posted this believes that PapaKay doesn't like the video. DeoMachina was pointing out that despite this video having an apparently 'clickrepellant' title, PapaKay still clicked on it. DeoMachina was pointing out the irony, not hating. I too wish to point out the irony in the fact that the person who says DeoMachina cannot read, does not know the difference between "they're" and "their" or the difference between "No where" and "Nowhere". It is also ironic how you "hate people" who "hate people". I'm not hating, I'm laughing.
Excelente. Qué tema complejo, pero resulta simple con lo que ella dice al final. :-)
no
Can't be bothered to watch it, is the answer yes or no? Also, do bulls count as donors?:-D
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (That's what the speaker says, and I agree.)
If the question were rephrased as "Are sperm donors family?" instead of "Do kids think of sperm donors as family?", the answer would be unequivocal.
Ted ed is done.
The term "good seeds" needs to reconciled with the hidden, undiscussed motive of designer baby.
A good attempt, but far too superficial.
Kids literally don't care. Teens and up, whatever.
nice
Arbic
Ohana
why no arabic 😕
رجل شرقي صدقني كل كلامها كلام فارغ
In Ghent, they speak other languages
cultural marxism
ethan intellekt virtue signaling
oh sorry, is this the thread where we just regurgitate random bullshit buzzwords created by anti-progress internet trolls?
"Sperm donation is marxism"
Oh yeah Das Capital had a whole section on fucking three parent families
Wow ethan, way to be completely irrelevant and trollish.
Ted is slowly running out of ideas, they're the new buzzfeed
BuzzTed
Ted do not come up with the ideas, the speakers do.
Rohan, in what way is this running out of ideas? Besides, their staff is only responsible for providing the coverage for the talks and all that technical stuff, the people who speak are scientists and professionals in their field who provide their own research and experiments (this is an example of an experiment via interviews and conversations) and are in no way the staff of TED. They were invited to talk infront of other professionals in their own fields as well who were also likely invited to speak.
Thank you for this amazing presentation. 🙏🏻💜🫂
i watched it all and it was aweful, disney science
My thumb down was referred to the quality of the speaker's oratory, and not related to the controversial nature of the topic. You have to step up your game, girl...
Didn't even saw the video, only came to say this is the most ridiculous stupid question you can ask.
This is spouse to be intelligent channel.
Paul Sirota Your spelling tells me you aren't.
Maybe English isn't their first language?
There are no stupid questions in science.
Science? What science?
She has no character about this presentation
???
DeoMachina He's saying she gave a lackluster and boring presentation. Which I happen to agree with, she lacked any semblance of charisma. She seemed to have some passion, but was not able to channel that into her talk.
Honestly this isn't a Good TED Talk. Not a horrible or bad one, but very mediocre.
Dominic Cordova
I know, I'm just joking because this guy was spamming "???" on some comments
DeoMachina If I've done "???" It's only down to me being slightly lost as to where something you might have said came from.
I really enjoyed it. And what have you ever done?
how about do something more fruitful with your life and get a real job....over analysing things does more harm than good
Unsubscribed. TED has lost its way.
What's hilarious about this is that pomegranat2000 edited this comment
+DeoMachina How so?
😀
"What is a parent is not an easy question."
Yeah it is. Biological mother and father, then you have the emotional mother and father than raised the kid.
What the heck is this in my feed
*Why
My bio “dad” is not my dad
Does this TED presentation justify anything?
يس
this is nonsense
Member when TED was about real science and not about social """science""" sjw crap?
Psychology is a science, there are no SJW themes in this video. If you had watched it, you would know this.
>Psychology
>Science
Pick one.
Remember: One of the founders of that pseudo science was a drug addicted idiot with a mother complex (pun intended). Nearly all of his "findings" have been rebutted in the meantime.
Besides, I have watched this video in full length. It's about a subject absolutely not worth studying. A mere waste of time and money.
And I wouldn't mind if I wasn't paying taxes in my county for such crap. Science = STEM, hard science that aims at unveiling the secrets of nature. In contrast, social "science" is mostly just navel-gazing.
You do not know anything about psychology, your ranting has been disregarded. Science is a process, psychology abides by this process.
DeoMachina
How do you know what I know? And how's the view up there on your high horse?
worst ted yet
Dan Golden not even close unfortunately
Who cares? You tell the kids to mind their damn business and move on. Thinking is not their strong suit. I think you meant "how do they feel" which they're even worse at. All this coddling is whats fucking up the kids. Telling them their feelings don't matter very much, and making sure they know they aren't the center of the universe better prepares them for the real world. Giving them an eternal hug into their 20's is setting them up for failure. If a teen says, "I dont have to listen to you, you're not even really my dad", you don't take them to counseling unless that is the name of your belt. That's how you do social justice.
Beating up kids is how you create adults with violent tendencies. It's good that you won't become a father, since you clearly have no idea how to perform in that role.
pentuplemintgum666
You don't get to lie about the consequences of not hitting kids, then call me dishonest. Sorry bro
pentuplemintgum666
"Hitting kids with a belt is social justice"
That's what you said. You tried to play it off as "a few swats" later, but you forgot to edit your first post I guess?
play what off? heh? you know its possible to give a kid a few swats with a belt, right? I never said smack them full force in the face with the buckle. Are you okay?
oh ouch! You sound like you had a tough childhood. It's ok man, come rest your head on my shoulder and cry for a bit. There's no shame and nobody is going to judge you. It really feels good to shed some manly tears from time to time
I wish she spoke English more clearly the accent makes it difficult to listen to not gonna lie.
feminist bullcrap
Parenting is feminist now? Get outta here kid
Why so many dislikes?
Crazy Goat free will.
No