My sister suffers from depression. She lives abroad but we speak almost every day on Whatsapp. When she has a hard pass she calls and I stay with her on the line for hours even if we don't speak. She hears me talk with my kids and I hear her cry. We stay connected until her husband comes from work. I pray she won't give up calling when she needs it. Thank you for the ending words. I've been watching your reactions for a while but today I subscribed to your channel. Stay safe!
I am sorry to hear about your sister's battle. Definitely one I understand quite well. Such a beautiful relationship that you have to where you are able to help her out when she needs you even though she is far away. You have a soul much the same that I try to have. Much much love for the sub and welcome to the family! I appreciate you taking the time to share your story and drop some kind words!
@@HighlyCombustibleReacts Thank you for having me in your group. I can tell from your reactions that you have a gentle soul. My sister says that it helps for me to be there while she releases the pressure of all the negatives thoughts through crying. I find that a lot of people find crying a weakness and they tend to laugh it off... It's not! It's a pressure valve for our feelings when we can't express them through words. Let yourself cry and let the people in your life cry when they feel the need... It's healing.
@@theflyingducks-official9210 Hi! Thank you for the best wishes. She's not going alone through this and it matters that the persons in her life know her condition is real and are treating it seriously, not as a laughing matter. I'm reading much on the subject and I've learned that are many people that do not consider depression a mental illness. They just want the depressed person to "get over it". I think that has a negative impact on the person suffering from depression; not being believed. Much love to you as well.
@@ERRiver-es7dm It' good that she is not alone and that she know about that. Also much appreciate you and the other persons that you are stand in for something. It is really important to take every condition serious. And depression could be a really bad "love-taking" monster. And it's absolutely correct, that nobody should feel weak for crying. It's more about strenght to express your emotions in public.
This song hit way too hard for me but I’m glad I heard it along with your reaction. I don’t usually share this about myself but I suffer with ptsd, anxiety, and severe depression. I stopped talking about it cause it seemed to just hurt my loved ones too much so I suffer in silence. Some days are a living nightmare but I keep fighting. Thanks love!🥰💖
Hey, I'm sorry to hear of all your monsters who are inside you. But nobody should suffer in silence from them. If your loved ones hurts to much from all the thoughts you share there are always enough other people who will be there for you and care for you. So please never stop fighting and if you feel to weak to fight please reach out to someone who will lend you his hands. And even if we don't know each other I'm also hear if needed. I wish you all the best and much love Felix
I checked out this video as well as “Would Anyone Care” (CS) because I didn’t feel like I was enough for anyone and I screw everything up…….then I saw your vids and I immediately gravitated towards you. You are very wise and kind man who cares about people. That is very needed nowadays and I appreciated our brother. ❤️ 🙏
Oh i feel you....trough the screen. Keep on going with you're music. Music bind us and give comfort in bad times. It's hard but keep the spirit high. I've bin there on another level. I send you much love from me and many hugs too.
You really found my favourite band ?! 😍🔥 Yeah, you know what the message behind this song.💜 Please react more by Citizen Soldier, maybe the song ( Hallelujah I'm not dead ) 🙏🔥
@@theflyingducks-official9210 Thanks buddy ! I only hear Citizen Soldier, cause if the meaning of the songs and Jakes voice. You also have a great taste of music ! Let us Citizen Soldier growing ! 🤝 Much love 🖤
Hey, Felix again here. Much, much appreciate for this reaction and especially your words in the end. As you said nearly everyone can connect in his own way with these lyrics and have his story... But important is, that there is always someone who cares and have an ear for you. And Paul I hope that you don't feel anymore like this, because you build up a lovely community here and I guess everyone have an open ear for everyone if needed. You can also talk and write to me whenever you want. Important is just that you try to talk with someone and don't think you will be weak if you tell someone about your feelings. Much Love to everyone!
Very intense lyrics.... Hard for you this video....much respect for your words that you bring.out to us......you have a big heart.... 10 years ago i had a neigbour..young boy still..28years....came back from the warzone.....was not mentally thr same anymore...his girlfriend left him....year later he overdrugged himself..Jeffrey R.I.P..... To bad.....was such a sweet boy..he would like your vibes..... He had not enough strengh left to go on.... I tell this in the spirit of him to also remind him now.. Great thanks tou you . .😇🙏😇👌❣🧜♀️😇
@@theflyingducks-official9210 thanks for this reaction...now i have some tears.... But i know that i did try to give him my help and neighbourlove...what he appreciated and that gives peace in my heart.... It means a lot this reaction.. 🙏😇❣🧜♀️😇🙏
@@ciskadebart1763 You are a beloved human being. Im 100% sure your help and neighbour love was highly appreciated from Jeffrey. There comes these situation for specific persons where they can't win the fight because as you said the burden was to strong for this person. In such cases its important that you just know that you had someone who was there for you. And you was definitely there for him. So your heart should be blessed with peace and hopefully there are more people in the world like you, to make this world to a better place. Thank you very much.
@@ciskadebart1763 That's the point - The only one. Sometimes it just needs "The only one". I'm Happy that you was the one for Jeffrey. He will stay with you in your thoughts and he will care about you when you have the need. All the best for you and much, much love. :-)
You sir, just became my favorite on here!!! Give yourself some serious credit- just what ya said on this vid and would anyone care vid, may have kept me here a lil longer. Thank you.
I am 52yrs old and suffer from mental illness. I stumbled on this band 4yrs ago and have been listening to them ever since. New songs out favorites " Bedroom Ceiling" and "Hand Me Down". But the whole album is awesome
Powerful I have two brothers who served in the forces northern Ireland and all over the world. I see the pain in there eye's but they are incredibly proud men & my hero's. This was difficult.
Thanks to your brothers for serving in the forces of northern Ireland. Even if you can see the pain in there eye's im pretty sure they are also very happy and lucky to have you as their brother
This is ALL of us no matter how much we may deny it. Very powerful to listen to. BTW it sounds like Daugherty. Thx HxC, I so relate to these words. You should hear Tom MacDonald, the ONLY rapper I have ever paid any attention to in my life. His new one is an epic rant against his haters; he deals with mental illness which he admits in "Don't Look Down" I also just heard a Reaction to an emotional one from 5 Finger Death Punch, a band I never cared about, until this song. "Wrong Side Of Heaven" whew
Great song. Check out a similar band called Arrows to Athens, formed by ex-Evanescence member David Hodges. I recommend the songs 'Used to Be' and 'Stars'.
They make more music on mental health. I learned about them because I deal with issues myself that the world don't understand you, see you as a burden... and live feels like never ending hell. You must see the official lycis video of them form the song 'I'm not oke'. And 'Would anyone care'... they are something so real for how it feels...
Hello Silvia. Nobody should see you as burden. And even if you think and feel there is a never ending hell I can assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes it will take longer to reach it but you will never be alone through this. So also much, much love to you. I already donated for "Would anyone care". So I guess it will already come in 1-2 Days. Best Felix
@@theflyingducks-official9210 it is not easy.. and now even when the healthcare proffessionals who would help me with traumatherapy have stopt the therapy at the hardest moment. After years of searching for help.. and finaly finding something they let me down... I am back where I started and with a new trauma added.
@@sylviaderooij7904 Hey Sylvia... Sorry to hear. is there a special reason why they stopped the therapy? Are there having any kind of "follow up" plan or something else?. Life can be very hard and rough. Especially in these situations where you think that something could changed after you find help just to get disappointed one moment later. I'm no professional... But I have always an open ear to talk / write if needed. I hope you don't need to wait again that much to find some other help also. Much Love Best Felix
@@theflyingducks-official9210 no real reson. Everything is a questionmark for me now. There has been lot of miscommunication from them.. no real answers... saying A but acting B.. they now edmit for a small part that their have not treated me correctly en that mistakes have been made. But their is no other plan for me on how to continue. Their is something of a small investigation or something like that, from what I don't no how and what.. and that they will look for what options their can be, but for now I am totally back on my own.
@@sylviaderooij7904 oh wooow... Sorry to hear all the struggle you had. I hope that you will find something soon, that will help you really. Keep the head up, even if it's very hard or harder then before. I'm crossing all fingers for you Sylvia.
Me and my friend have an interesting relationship and i mean in the way that we anker eachother to the ground i guess you could say that we fought eachother's demons and we still do. In a way our friendship has reached the point that unless we really do something f'd up against eachother, that we forgive eachother almost instantaneously. Our families see us as brothers so for us it's true that you don't have to be related to be family
When you said that suicide is a selfish move I got angry, because to a depressed and/or suicidal person you saying that is you don't care, now don't take that the wrong way because I know you didn’t mean it like that but, I suffered from depression for quite some time, and had very mild suicidal thoughts, and I still suffer slightly from depression, but the scariest thing about depression is the feeling that you are alone and right now I'm living in a country where the normal thing to say to a depressed person is "Your just being lazy", but again I know you did it with all good intentions, but saying things like that is the thing that sets me off the most. But still a great review nonetheless.
I’ve been in and out of therapy for 7 years. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder at the age of 15, they told me I have had it sense I was 8. I was wishing to die before I even knew what it was, I would come home from school at 8 years old crying in my room for multiple hours, I never played with kids, instead I would stay alone and bully myself. Started failing school, then I got sexually assaulted by my uncle at the age of 9, my mind is a constant battlefield. I called myself ugly as early as 5 years old, my dad thought something was wrong when I kept writing on my walls “kill yourself” I was only 9. Then at 15 I got raped and tortured by a guy I went to school with, be blackmailed me. Told me to come to his house or else he’s gonna send my pictures to his friends. I’m 21 now and suffer from PTSD, MDD, psychosis, anxiety disorders, OCD and personality disorder. All my life I’ve been told to suck it up and deal with it. No one believed me when I was raped, even my own mom didn’t believe me. I almost shot myself 2 days ago, my boyfriend walked in and grabbed my gun. I begged him to just kill me, cause it’s not worth feeling this pain anymore. I honestly don’t believe killing yourself is selfish. I have tried talking to people and nothing works for people who have depressive disorders it is an every day thing for them. There is no getting out of it in my case, I will always suffer from these disorders till I die, it would be so much easier to give up. I already know how people would miss me, but that honestly means nothing to me anymore. I hate it when people call me selfish cause of something I want to do with my body. That’s just something people say to guilt trip people who are going through some really horrible things, and telling people they are selfish cause they want to kill themselves only harms the victim more. People who deal with depression already have so much guilt already then for people to call them selfish cause they finally open up a little but say they want to end it all, it the wrong way to go about things, I’ve dealt with it, and I just kept apologizing over and over again about telling them my feelings then I completely shut them out, not intentionally but I did end up doing it cause at that point I knew they didn’t want to hear what I had to say. It’s the same thing with my boyfriend he said I’m selfish cause I wanted to end it all, after that I stopped telling him about my mental issues, same with my best friend and everyone else in my life, this only makes things worse and makes the depression worse for the victim. All my life I was told I’m selfish cause I wanted to end it. If anything I’m the most unselfish person, I care more about other peoples feelings rather than my own that’s why I always hold everything in. There is no way out for people with mental illness, people who don’t have a depressive disorder could eventually heal, but people with major depressive disorder can have it their whole lives just like bipolar disorder. People aren’t selfish cause they see no other way, if anything others need to stop judging them for their feelings and just listen, ask why they feel that way and offer if you can help them in any way. Tell them that you’d be sad if they were gone but don’t say they are selfish cause they want to end it. People who are depressed don’t talk cause they feel guilty or that no one wants to listen, they don’t want to burden others with their negative thoughts. I always tell people “it’s easier to face my demons alone” meaning I’m not gonna talk and there is no point cause “your” not gonna care to listen or your just gonna judge me for it.
I can't end myself as my ex if he found out I did he'd do the same. We're close friends as I couldn't deal with him being in the military and he understood that the spark b between us disappeared but when we were dating that was the promise we made to not end ourselves
And that's the problem I know I have people that care but it's getting harder and harder to get rid of that thought. I don't want to die but I'm just getting tired of living
Before I say anything else I am currently typing this on New Year's and this is my resolution to put my problems out there and let them out I guess okay here we go the past three to four years of my life has been nothing but a downward spiral I've lost my job unable to find another my girlfriend broke up with me and took the kids and I've yet to see them I've had family animals that have been around for more than 10 years of my life pass away I've watched my mother ride-away in a ambulance several different times because of her breathing and she's currently now on oxygen 24/7 I am no longer able to sleep in the house I have to sleep outside in a camper because when I sleep inside the house I have nightmares and wake up to what sounds like my kids running around I'm basically haunted by the sounds of Little Footsteps I've been trying to focus on my mindset and try to get my mental health back on track enough to try and find a job so I can try and see my kids or something but honestly it's not working and I ran out of ideas I have thought about suicide but refuse to do it but not for my own benefit it makes me feel like it would be a burden to other people I would not want to be the cause of my parents being sad so I'm still here don't know why don't really care to be I'm just here this past Christmas was just another day no message from family no message from the only friend I have nothing just me realizing that I am actually alone and no one's going to fix me but me no one's there to help and I have to do this alone and I just hope that doing this is kind of a step in that direction I want to thank anyone who's listening for just listening I guess....
You are most certainly in the right place Jacob :) This is a community of people who are there for other people. You already sound like you are on the right track to getting your thought process and life back in line. I truly appreciate you putting yourself out there myself. I know many others will as well. Here, there is ALWAYS someone listening :) You are loved 100% I am glad you are here!
i dont like the instant line of just slamming in a persons face that suicide is selfish. for the person suffering, it's far more selfish to brand them with that accusation. random friends or family who walkout or vanish for years without a single thought of you, basically completely cutoff from you on all levels, to then wave their flags of you being weak or selfish because you're in pain, is a massive pain that only helps push them further towards ending it all. imo, its far more selfish to blindly brand the suffering ones as selfish, without ever once even simply sparing a single thought to what they're going thru, and why they've become so hurt and damaged in the first place.
My sister suffers from depression. She lives abroad but we speak almost every day on Whatsapp. When she has a hard pass she calls and I stay with her on the line for hours even if we don't speak. She hears me talk with my kids and I hear her cry. We stay connected until her husband comes from work. I pray she won't give up calling when she needs it. Thank you for the ending words. I've been watching your reactions for a while but today I subscribed to your channel. Stay safe!
I am sorry to hear about your sister's battle. Definitely one I understand quite well. Such a beautiful relationship that you have to where you are able to help her out when she needs you even though she is far away. You have a soul much the same that I try to have. Much much love for the sub and welcome to the family! I appreciate you taking the time to share your story and drop some kind words!
Hey. Also sorry to hear but I hope you together and your sister especially will win the fights against her own monsters.
Much Love.
@@HighlyCombustibleReacts Thank you for having me in your group. I can tell from your reactions that you have a gentle soul. My sister says that it helps for me to be there while she releases the pressure of all the negatives thoughts through crying. I find that a lot of people find crying a weakness and they tend to laugh it off... It's not! It's a pressure valve for our feelings when we can't express them through words. Let yourself cry and let the people in your life cry when they feel the need... It's healing.
@@theflyingducks-official9210 Hi! Thank you for the best wishes. She's not going alone through this and it matters that the persons in her life know her condition is real and are treating it seriously, not as a laughing matter. I'm reading much on the subject and I've learned that are many people that do not consider depression a mental illness. They just want the depressed person to "get over it". I think that has a negative impact on the person suffering from depression; not being believed. Much love to you as well.
@@ERRiver-es7dm It' good that she is not alone and that she know about that.
Also much appreciate you and the other persons that you are stand in for something.
It is really important to take every condition serious. And depression could be a really bad "love-taking" monster.
And it's absolutely correct, that nobody should feel weak for crying. It's more about strenght to express your emotions in public.
"Let love conquer our mind" Thanks for being a warrior of love 🌱
This is a great band! Love this song!! Great reaction!! 💜💜💜
We embraze you with thousand arms. ❤️
That one is emotional! Great reaction, you’re an amazing person…which I already knew ♥️
This song hit way too hard for me but I’m glad I heard it along with your reaction. I don’t usually share this about myself but I suffer with ptsd, anxiety, and severe depression. I stopped talking about it cause it seemed to just hurt my loved ones too much so I suffer in silence. Some days are a living nightmare but I keep fighting. Thanks love!🥰💖
Hey, I'm sorry to hear of all your monsters who are inside you. But nobody should suffer in silence from them.
If your loved ones hurts to much from all the thoughts you share there are always enough other people who will be there for you and care for you.
So please never stop fighting and if you feel to weak to fight please reach out to someone who will lend you his hands.
And even if we don't know each other I'm also hear if needed.
I wish you all the best and much love
Felix
Don't ever stop fighting JamieAnn! We need you here!
Stay strong to all kings and queens out there
Thanks man. I needed to watch this with a buddy... it didn't stop me from crying, but it helped. So, thanks.
This band is amazing, I've been trying to request reactors to check them out. Thanks to felix for requesting this
very welcome. I appreciate that. Glad that others also love this band. All the best for you.
Great reaction sir - even though it was obviously so hard for you.
Very strong video too, so will have to check out more.
I checked out this video as well as “Would Anyone Care” (CS) because I didn’t feel like I was enough for anyone and I screw everything up…….then I saw your vids and I immediately gravitated towards you. You are very wise and kind man who cares about people. That is very needed nowadays and I appreciated our brother. ❤️ 🙏
Oh i feel you....trough the screen. Keep on going with you're music. Music bind us and give comfort in bad times. It's hard but keep the spirit high. I've bin there on another level. I send you much love from me and many hugs too.
It's a good song I always loved that song I always will love the people who made that song in I always will love the man who's singing that song
Thank you
You really found my favourite band ?! 😍🔥 Yeah, you know what the message behind this song.💜 Please react more by Citizen Soldier, maybe the song ( Hallelujah I'm not dead ) 🙏🔥
You have a good taste, hehe. I already requested more from Citizen Soldier. Much Love
@@theflyingducks-official9210 Thanks buddy ! I only hear Citizen Soldier, cause if the meaning of the songs and Jakes voice. You also have a great taste of music ! Let us Citizen Soldier growing ! 🤝
Much love 🖤
Sorry - Kensington ❤️
Hey, Felix again here.
Much, much appreciate for this reaction and especially your words in the end.
As you said nearly everyone can connect in his own way with these lyrics and have his story...
But important is, that there is always someone who cares and have an ear for you.
And Paul I hope that you don't feel anymore like this, because you build up a lovely community here and I guess everyone have an open ear for everyone if needed.
You can also talk and write to me whenever you want.
Important is just that you try to talk with someone and don't think you will be weak if you tell someone about your feelings.
Much Love to everyone!
@Jasmijn Westrik Thank you so much for your lovely words. I wish you all the best and enjoy the upcoming reactions like I do.
beautiful song, made me cry
Very intense lyrics....
Hard for you this video....much respect for your words that you bring.out to us......you have a big heart....
10 years ago i had a neigbour..young boy still..28years....came back from the warzone.....was not mentally thr same anymore...his girlfriend left him....year later he overdrugged himself..Jeffrey R.I.P.....
To bad.....was such a sweet boy..he would like your vibes.....
He had not enough strengh left to go on....
I tell this in the spirit of him to also remind him now..
Great thanks tou you .
.😇🙏😇👌❣🧜♀️😇
Rest in Peace Jeffrey. We will keep your spirit and vibes in us.
Thanks for sharing this. Must be also hard for you to talk about.
@@theflyingducks-official9210 thanks for this reaction...now i have some tears....
But i know that i did try to give him my help and neighbourlove...what he appreciated and that gives peace in my heart....
It means a lot this reaction..
🙏😇❣🧜♀️😇🙏
@@ciskadebart1763 You are a beloved human being. Im 100% sure your help and neighbour love was highly appreciated from Jeffrey.
There comes these situation for specific persons where they can't win the fight because as you said the burden was to strong for this person.
In such cases its important that you just know that you had someone who was there for you. And you was definitely there for him. So your heart should be blessed with peace and hopefully there are more people in the world like you, to make this world to a better place.
Thank you very much.
@@theflyingducks-official9210 thank you again.....you feel it so right..at the end i was the only one...🙏😇
@@ciskadebart1763 That's the point - The only one. Sometimes it just needs "The only one". I'm Happy that you was the one for Jeffrey. He will stay with you in your thoughts and he will care about you when you have the need. All the best for you and much, much love. :-)
You sir, just became my favorite on here!!! Give yourself some serious credit- just what ya said on this vid and would anyone care vid, may have kept me here a lil longer. Thank you.
I am 52yrs old and suffer from mental illness. I stumbled on this band 4yrs ago and have been listening to them ever since. New songs out favorites " Bedroom Ceiling" and "Hand Me Down". But the whole album is awesome
HELLO HELLO... MORE CITIZEN SOLDIER, PLEASE !!
REACT TO "Would anyone care" AND "I'm not okay" ;)
"i care" i love that
Thank you for your service. My father served in the military as well.
Powerful I have two brothers who served in the forces northern Ireland and all over the world. I see the pain in there eye's but they are incredibly proud men & my hero's. This was difficult.
Thanks to your brothers for serving in the forces of northern Ireland. Even if you can see the pain in there eye's im pretty sure they are also very happy and lucky to have you as their brother
@@theflyingducks-official9210 thank you for the reply it means a lot friend. 👍👍
6:35 i get told those all the time with an added one which is "just cheer up" so i now just keep it deep inside
There is a beautiful song of Peter Gabriel and Kate Bush: don’t give up. ❤️🙋♀️
This is ALL of us no matter how much we may deny it. Very powerful to listen to. BTW it sounds like Daugherty. Thx HxC, I so relate to these words.
You should hear Tom MacDonald, the ONLY rapper I have ever paid any attention to in my life. His new one is an epic rant against his haters; he deals with mental illness which he admits in "Don't Look Down" I also just heard a Reaction to an emotional one from 5 Finger Death Punch, a band I never cared about, until this song. "Wrong Side Of Heaven" whew
I need a person to talk too and your video touched me ...
"id rather sit there for hours listening to you vent and your problems then sit there listening to your eulogy"
🙏❤💕🍀🍀🍀
❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Great song. Check out a similar band called Arrows to Athens, formed by ex-Evanescence member David Hodges. I recommend the songs 'Used to Be' and 'Stars'.
They make more music on mental health. I learned about them because I deal with issues myself that the world don't understand you, see you as a burden... and live feels like never ending hell.
You must see the official lycis video of them form the song 'I'm not oke'. And 'Would anyone care'... they are something so real for how it feels...
Hello Silvia.
Nobody should see you as burden.
And even if you think and feel there is a never ending hell I can assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometimes it will take longer to reach it but you will never be alone through this.
So also much, much love to you.
I already donated for "Would anyone care". So I guess it will already come in 1-2 Days.
Best
Felix
@@theflyingducks-official9210 it is not easy.. and now even when the healthcare proffessionals who would help me with traumatherapy have stopt the therapy at the hardest moment. After years of searching for help.. and finaly finding something they let me down... I am back where I started and with a new trauma added.
@@sylviaderooij7904 Hey Sylvia... Sorry to hear. is there a special reason why they stopped the therapy? Are there having any kind of "follow up" plan or something else?.
Life can be very hard and rough. Especially in these situations where you think that something could changed after you find help just to get disappointed one moment later.
I'm no professional... But I have always an open ear to talk / write if needed.
I hope you don't need to wait again that much to find some other help also.
Much Love
Best
Felix
@@theflyingducks-official9210 no real reson. Everything is a questionmark for me now. There has been lot of miscommunication from them.. no real answers... saying A but acting B.. they now edmit for a small part that their have not treated me correctly en that mistakes have been made. But their is no other plan for me on how to continue. Their is something of a small investigation or something like that, from what I don't no how and what.. and that they will look for what options their can be, but for now I am totally back on my own.
@@sylviaderooij7904 oh wooow... Sorry to hear all the struggle you had. I hope that you will find something soon, that will help you really.
Keep the head up, even if it's very hard or harder then before. I'm crossing all fingers for you Sylvia.
Me and my friend have an interesting relationship and i mean in the way that we anker eachother to the ground i guess you could say that we fought eachother's demons and we still do. In a way our friendship has reached the point that unless we really do something f'd up against eachother, that we forgive eachother almost instantaneously. Our families see us as brothers so for us it's true that you don't have to be related to be family
I suffer from anxiety and depression been in the dark many times, attempted suicide multiple times ;;;;; MY STORY ISN'T FINISHED!!!
When you said that suicide is a selfish move I got angry, because to a depressed and/or suicidal person you saying that is you don't care, now don't take that the wrong way because I know you didn’t mean it like that but, I suffered from depression for quite some time, and had very mild suicidal thoughts, and I still suffer slightly from depression, but the scariest thing about depression is the feeling that you are alone and right now I'm living in a country where the normal thing to say to a depressed person is "Your just being lazy", but again I know you did it with all good intentions, but saying things like that is the thing that sets me off the most. But still a great review nonetheless.
I’ve been in and out of therapy for 7 years. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder at the age of 15, they told me I have had it sense I was 8. I was wishing to die before I even knew what it was, I would come home from school at 8 years old crying in my room for multiple hours, I never played with kids, instead I would stay alone and bully myself. Started failing school, then I got sexually assaulted by my uncle at the age of 9, my mind is a constant battlefield. I called myself ugly as early as 5 years old, my dad thought something was wrong when I kept writing on my walls “kill yourself” I was only 9. Then at 15 I got raped and tortured by a guy I went to school with, be blackmailed me. Told me to come to his house or else he’s gonna send my pictures to his friends. I’m 21 now and suffer from PTSD, MDD, psychosis, anxiety disorders, OCD and personality disorder. All my life I’ve been told to suck it up and deal with it. No one believed me when I was raped, even my own mom didn’t believe me. I almost shot myself 2 days ago, my boyfriend walked in and grabbed my gun. I begged him to just kill me, cause it’s not worth feeling this pain anymore. I honestly don’t believe killing yourself is selfish. I have tried talking to people and nothing works for people who have depressive disorders it is an every day thing for them. There is no getting out of it in my case, I will always suffer from these disorders till I die, it would be so much easier to give up. I already know how people would miss me, but that honestly means nothing to me anymore. I hate it when people call me selfish cause of something I want to do with my body. That’s just something people say to guilt trip people who are going through some really horrible things, and telling people they are selfish cause they want to kill themselves only harms the victim more. People who deal with depression already have so much guilt already then for people to call them selfish cause they finally open up a little but say they want to end it all, it the wrong way to go about things, I’ve dealt with it, and I just kept apologizing over and over again about telling them my feelings then I completely shut them out, not intentionally but I did end up doing it cause at that point I knew they didn’t want to hear what I had to say. It’s the same thing with my boyfriend he said I’m selfish cause I wanted to end it all, after that I stopped telling him about my mental issues, same with my best friend and everyone else in my life, this only makes things worse and makes the depression worse for the victim. All my life I was told I’m selfish cause I wanted to end it. If anything I’m the most unselfish person, I care more about other peoples feelings rather than my own that’s why I always hold everything in. There is no way out for people with mental illness, people who don’t have a depressive disorder could eventually heal, but people with major depressive disorder can have it their whole lives just like bipolar disorder. People aren’t selfish cause they see no other way, if anything others need to stop judging them for their feelings and just listen, ask why they feel that way and offer if you can help them in any way. Tell them that you’d be sad if they were gone but don’t say they are selfish cause they want to end it. People who are depressed don’t talk cause they feel guilty or that no one wants to listen, they don’t want to burden others with their negative thoughts. I always tell people “it’s easier to face my demons alone” meaning I’m not gonna talk and there is no point cause “your” not gonna care to listen or your just gonna judge me for it.
You should react to these 2 other songs by them too never ending nightmare and would anyone care
I can't end myself as my ex if he found out I did he'd do the same. We're close friends as I couldn't deal with him being in the military and he understood that the spark b between us disappeared but when we were dating that was the promise we made to not end ourselves
And that's the problem I know I have people that care but it's getting harder and harder to get rid of that thought. I don't want to die but I'm just getting tired of living
Before I say anything else I am currently typing this on New Year's and this is my resolution to put my problems out there and let them out I guess okay here we go the past three to four years of my life has been nothing but a downward spiral I've lost my job unable to find another my girlfriend broke up with me and took the kids and I've yet to see them I've had family animals that have been around for more than 10 years of my life pass away I've watched my mother ride-away in a ambulance several different times because of her breathing and she's currently now on oxygen 24/7 I am no longer able to sleep in the house I have to sleep outside in a camper because when I sleep inside the house I have nightmares and wake up to what sounds like my kids running around I'm basically haunted by the sounds of Little Footsteps I've been trying to focus on my mindset and try to get my mental health back on track enough to try and find a job so I can try and see my kids or something but honestly it's not working and I ran out of ideas I have thought about suicide but refuse to do it but not for my own benefit it makes me feel like it would be a burden to other people I would not want to be the cause of my parents being sad so I'm still here don't know why don't really care to be I'm just here this past Christmas was just another day no message from family no message from the only friend I have nothing just me realizing that I am actually alone and no one's going to fix me but me no one's there to help and I have to do this alone and I just hope that doing this is kind of a step in that direction I want to thank anyone who's listening for just listening I guess....
You are most certainly in the right place Jacob :) This is a community of people who are there for other people. You already sound like you are on the right track to getting your thought process and life back in line. I truly appreciate you putting yourself out there myself. I know many others will as well. Here, there is ALWAYS someone listening :) You are loved 100% I am glad you are here!
Blood, spent brass, smell of gun powder in the air.
i dont like the instant line of just slamming in a persons face that suicide is selfish. for the person suffering, it's far more selfish to brand them with that accusation. random friends or family who walkout or vanish for years without a single thought of you, basically completely cutoff from you on all levels, to then wave their flags of you being weak or selfish because you're in pain, is a massive pain that only helps push them further towards ending it all.
imo, its far more selfish to blindly brand the suffering ones as selfish, without ever once even simply sparing a single thought to what they're going thru, and why they've become so hurt and damaged in the first place.
React to NCT please❤️
Nobody cares just waiting for my time ,have no friends, the rest is to busy and they know uchh