This is my first time listening to this particular video I'm not even finished yet but I just want to say that I am so grateful that you are a part of this RUclips space. Please keep bringing on the videos because you come from a different perspective that is so important especially how you talk about trauma and forgiveness it has helped me so much and I have stopped beating myself up because at times I don't feel like I've forgiven and I don't have any empathy or compassion. It waivers it comes and goes but I will say the anger and resentment is gone. Thank you
40 min in it came to me that for forgiveness I first have to neutralise the belief that the wounding is in some way, MY FAULT. And then forgive and soothe the child and the present part of me that has that belief. Thanks for dedicating the effort to look at this piece.
I don’t know if forgiveness is necessary. My adopted father molested me and when I confronted him as an adult he never was sorry. All he could say was that “now that you’re a parent you’ll make mistakes too. I replied that what he did was on purpose not a mistake. After I started talking to my sisters about our father and his disgusting behavior my oldest sister reached out to me to tell me she too was molested by our father. Her exit strategy to get away from him was to get pregnant in high school by a marine. They got married and 6 months later had a baby. My adopted father also pretty much had affairs with my mom’s best friends and also his best friends repeatedly meaning multiple best friends. wives too. He was a hot mess and never felt bad about what he did. I literally watched him takes his last breath alongside his best friends wife whom he had been having an affair with while my mother was alive. I only know because I found a tape he had recorded for her( my moms best friend) before be died and let’s just say it was totally inappropriate! So some people don’t need or deserve forgiveness because they didn’t care who they hurt as long as their needs were being met. In my opinion forgiveness is earned not an entitlement.
@@msarilyn7677why? He cheated on my mother with her best friend and my godmother. I have nor need to forgive him. He never felt about molesting me or cheating on his wife or having an affair with his best friends wife. I don’t feel bad at all nor do I forgive him for having an affair with my mothers best friend not once but 2 different women. I am at peace and literally watched him take his last breath before dieing.
I am perfectly OK with myself to not have to forgive him. Thankfully my BS degree had about 1/3 of coursework in psychology. I studied a lot and am an academic person. I’ve also have gone through ALOT of counseling sessions including a group for women who where molested or sexually attacked with a MFC counselor leading the group and forgiveness was NEVER part of the healing protocol. I had to listen to women who were tortured as children/ adolescents by male family members. Nothing like being gang raped by your father and brothers on a regular basis. I am not sure that forgiveness is necessary for everyone but it does work for many situations just not EVERY situation.
@@msarilyn7677not necessarily. I’ve been to many therapists and have a minor in psychology and forgiveness was never part of the curriculum or protocol and this was at a Christian University so we don’t have to forgive to have closure. We just have to have worked on ourselves and learn that it wasn’t our fault that we were victimized by people who were supposed to to protect us 😢
@@penniroyal4398look forgiveness work for some people . Some survivers need to forgive in order to move on. It gives them some sense of peace. While for some survivers it does not. Specially in case of severe abuse it is very difficult to forgive. So its complicated. I know what happens to you was wrong. I wish you well in life .
I do recommend having strepsills and halls handy for scratchy throat. When i work as a translator on a health and safety courses i consider those tablets as essential for myself
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This is my first time listening to this particular video I'm not even finished yet but I just want to say that I am so grateful that you are a part of this RUclips space. Please keep bringing on the videos because you come from a different perspective that is so important especially how you talk about trauma and forgiveness it has helped me so much and I have stopped beating myself up because at times I don't feel like I've forgiven and I don't have any empathy or compassion. It waivers it comes and goes but I will say the anger and resentment is gone. Thank you
40 min in it came to me that for forgiveness I first have to neutralise the belief that the wounding is in some way, MY FAULT. And then forgive and soothe the child and the present part of me that has that belief. Thanks for dedicating the effort to look at this piece.
I think the most important thing is to heal. I feel that if i didn't feel the pain, everything would be easier.
I just love this person ❤❤❤
This is amazing! Thank you for uploading and sharing
I don’t know if forgiveness is necessary. My adopted father molested me and when I confronted him as an adult he never was sorry. All he could say was that “now that you’re a parent you’ll make mistakes too. I replied that what he did was on purpose not a mistake. After I started talking to my sisters about our father and his disgusting behavior my oldest sister reached out to me to tell me she too was molested by our father. Her exit strategy to get away from him was to get pregnant in high school by a marine. They got married and 6 months later had a baby. My adopted father also pretty much had affairs with my mom’s best friends and also his best friends repeatedly meaning multiple best friends. wives too. He was a hot mess and never felt bad about what he did. I literally watched him takes his last breath alongside his best friends wife whom he had been having an affair with while my mother was alive. I only know because I found a tape he had recorded for her( my moms best friend) before be died and let’s just say it was totally inappropriate! So some people don’t need or deserve forgiveness because they didn’t care who they hurt as long as their needs were being met. In my opinion forgiveness is earned not an entitlement.
Even if it is not necessary, it is beneficial for the person forgiving to forgive them.
@@msarilyn7677why? He cheated on my mother with her best friend and my godmother. I have nor need to forgive him. He never felt about molesting me or cheating on his wife or having an affair with his best friends wife. I don’t feel bad at all nor do I forgive him for having an affair with my mothers best friend not once but 2 different women. I am at peace and literally watched him take his last breath before dieing.
I am perfectly OK with myself to not have to forgive him. Thankfully my BS degree had about 1/3 of coursework in psychology. I studied a lot and am an academic person. I’ve also have gone through ALOT of counseling sessions including a group for women who where molested or sexually attacked with a MFC counselor leading the group and forgiveness was NEVER part of the healing protocol. I had to listen to women who were tortured as children/ adolescents by male family members. Nothing like being gang raped by your father and brothers on a regular basis. I am not sure that forgiveness is necessary for everyone but it does work for many situations just not EVERY situation.
@@msarilyn7677not necessarily. I’ve been to many therapists and have a minor in psychology and forgiveness was never part of the curriculum or protocol and this was at a Christian University so we don’t have to forgive to have closure. We just have to have worked on ourselves and learn that it wasn’t our fault that we were victimized by people who were supposed to to protect us 😢
@@penniroyal4398look forgiveness work for some people . Some survivers need to forgive in order to move on. It gives them some sense of peace. While for some survivers it does not. Specially in case of severe abuse it is very difficult to forgive. So its complicated. I know what happens to you was wrong. I wish you well in life .
Thank you 🤗
I do recommend having strepsills and halls handy for scratchy throat. When i work as a translator on a health and safety courses i consider those tablets as essential for myself