AITA for insulting my husband after he asked for a paternity test and suggested I cheated?
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- Опубликовано: 3 июн 2024
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Story Name: AITA for insulting my husband after he asked for a paternity test and suggested I cheated?
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rest of this post:I regret saying it because I had promised to leave it behind, but I said, "Well then say hello to "Sarah" for me." Sarah is the woman my husband had an affair with two years ago. He broke it off and we reconciled but I feel like it was rich of him to accuse me of cheating when he was the one who cheated first.
He called me an asshole for bringing it up and now we're not speaking and I've moved into the nursery. I'm considering divorce but also thinking about my words, which were hurtful and uncalled for. AITA?
Divorce why make your child suffer or be punished by you his or her parents who is making him or her the reason to stay in a terrible marriage you two are so stupid..
Would have been a burn if Sarah was his mom cause that's where I would hve taken it.
Why did you get back with a cheater and have a child with him?? Please have some respect for yourself and dump him and move on.
He cheated, then accused you of cheating.
There is no trust in this relationship, and no reason for you to trust him.
No trust = no relationship.
You deserve better, and so does your child.
U are the asz Sure.
He was completely wrong, but the fact you just threw him under the bus he honestly thinks that you were cheating. This is the reason. Guys don't say anything in a fight or in anything. Because women constantly bring up the past. And also look at it from the guy's perspective.He thought you were cheating for over a year and didn't say a single thing And then he finally asked you for a paternity messand as soon as it shows that you were loyal you just threw it in his face
NTA he's projecting his earlier cheating onto you. I wouldn't be surprised if he never broke it off with Sarah
Same or anticipates her to have an affair because he had one and he wants an out but doesn't have the balls to leave
Probably not!!!
I think he's cheating currently in the relationship
@@aimlessalix8066Same. I think he went back to Sarah though..
I'm the 1,000th like
Uncalled for? He not only accused you of cheating, but of staging the whole "parent search" over months (if not years) just to be able to chang out with the guy who he assumed was your affair partner...
He is definitely cheating on you who thinks someone you call your dad is your affair partner
NTA! Your first mistake was taking a cheater back! Once a cheater, always a cheater!! In your shoes, I'd be looking for the best divorce lawyer i could find!!
I'm willing to bet your husband will never have any type of paternal feelings for his son. His little life was started by his father suspecting he was the product of an affair. I'm not usually one too suggest divorce right off the bat but I have my serious doubts if this relationship can be saved. Little one does not need that type of role model.
My suspicion is that he wants a baby who looked like him, not his wife's family. Even still, he's an idiot.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
He is bringing it up because he is actively cheating and trying to pin his bad behavior onto you.
Definitely not! I would have actually filed for divorce and has him pay for alimony and child support. He's sounds like a pathetic person in general.
Bro how is he supposed to know that a darker skin dude is her dad
@@Elbichofanboth my parents are white and I'm tan, my grandfather is tan, my father didn't question my mother on it because he knew how genetics worked, this husband is projecting because he cheated in the past
@@Elbichofan they're literally her bio parents and they reconnected. To FIND your bio parents, you do a DNA test
@@Elbichofan he's LITERALLY met the guy! He KNOWS it's her bio dad! He's just making excuses! Many genetic traits just skip a generation or so and effect the next child born. My stepdad's grandfather had green eyes, but my stepdads parents, nor his uncles and aunts got them. But he did, and the only one of out his siblings that did. When he had kids with my mom, my little sister was born with his eyes at after, but changed to the brown eyes my mom has. My little brother doesn't have them either. My his sister's kids have green eyes. It's possible if and when my siblings have kids, theirs will have the green eye traits
@@cindypicadomolina7814 he wanted to do a DNA test but she laughed at him
NTA your husband is TA. To actually suggest you cheating, was a low blow to you. Having to prove you were faithful, is the ultimate insult. 😮😮😮
You need to get a divorce. This man seems to have no respect for you, your Son or marriage.
NTA - go to couples therapy, he has guilt which is why he accused you of cheating. Honestly, yall need therapy badly, and always get therapy before and after huge life changes. If you have had a rocky relationship. Make sure to get STD tested if you haven't already and keep doing it regularly for the next 3 to 5 years. Your safety but deal with a cheater as a cheater. Cheating doesn't make them an automatically bad person people make mistakes but protect yourself.
Guess he's didn't pay attention in biology class. That there's recessive genes? And why would you take him back after he cheated on you?
Only someone who is still cheating with say something like that
Your husband has no morals and assumes that you don't either. You absolutely should divorce him.
So how long has this been going on? He thought that your father was your affair. Partner, and you were open enough to bring him around. And Bolton enough to pass him off as your dad and that your whole family would go along with that nonsense.Wow, he certainly has an imagination. Smh
My husband and I have been married for 40yrs. He did cheat on me once and it hurt badly but we have been married at the time for 25yrs. We work thing out and it wasn't easy. I forgave and refer to it as his dumb mid life crisis. But for a long time afterwards he kept waiting for me to have revenge sex to get back at him for his cheating. From what you have said I believe your husband is like my husband and is waiting for the revenge cheating. My husband had a hard believing that I had no plan to cheat. I'm glad you are standing your ground and he deserved the comments you made about his cheating. Get the DNA test so you can shove it in his face. Good luck❤
Your husband still cheating on you
When you take them back after they cheat on you, that just lets them know they can get away with it
25 years together means nothing once they cheat
You’re supposed to learn from your history, not keep repeating the same mistake
Girlie your hubby is definitely cheating. If someone cheats on you once they'll do it again
Sound childish, but he started it.
I don’t personally think it was childish.
I think it was an emotional reaction, which I can’t blame her for having considering her hubby just accused her of lying about the identity of her father & also having an affair…with her father.
I’d have been pretty mad too. Especially considering that he’s already cheated & with him being so defensive & weird, there’s no certainty that he’s not actively cheating on her rn. Men are statistically more likely to cheat when they’re partner is pregnant.
I would have served him the divorce papers with the paternity test and said enjoy paying child support for the next 18 years and never freaking talk to me again without a lawyer. This abusive person is not going to change. It's not going to get better. Rather than apologizing and begging your forgiveness for accusing you of something unforgivable, though you did forgive him for that behavior, he doubled down and accused you of having sex with your father. This is not a good man or a good partner. I have no idea why women waste their time on useless trifling men like this.
Just a divorce, do it for the child
Divorce him
D.I.V.O.R.C.E!
That man cheated on you, you should never of took him back.
If you think I'm overreacting, fine, I don't care, but cheating is a deal breaker for me, and it should be for you.
Why would you get back with him after he cheated on you noooo
And then proceed to have a child hoping to keep him what a selfish woman in a few years they are gonna end up blaming that child for their terrible marriage..
@@gaylenewood7707I highly doubt OP had a child just to keep him. Although I find it weird, people DO forgive their partner when they cheated on them. Also what makes you think they will blame the child? The child isn't the afair baby and even if it was we don't know if OP would blame the child or not (she would be a major Asshole for it if she did though)
Probably still cheating on you. Once a cheater always a cheater.
He’s definitely the AH. Leave him immediately
NTA. Bet you $20 he's cheating again and was doing it during her pregnancy. Don't apologize for reminding him he's a cheater after he's accused OP of cheating. Bad enough she took him back. You can never trust a cheater. And if there's no respect or trust then the relationship is a lie.
NTA. Leave he's probably still cheating.
This is like the fourth story Ive heard of people getting into interracial relationships, and getting upset the kid looks mixed. People are stupid.
Could just get a test on your birth dad
Girl he's probably cheating again cause there is no reason at this present moment for him to be acting up like that
Nta, he needs counseling, and you both need marriage counseling. 2 wrongs don't make a right. But his demand for a paternity test and mistreatment of the baby is enough to trigger that reaction.
take all of his $$$$ way from him and his family
Building a whole house for a computer 😂
NTA & if he's acting this way after already having an affair makes it seem like he is still cheating on OP
Leave your husband he is the Ahole and get full custody of the kid cause the way your soon be ex is your son and you i highly doubt he would take care of the kid
The deeper issue is that this man doesn't actually want you or your baby. Cheating was how he told you he didn't want you. And rejecting the child is how he's told you he doesn't want him.
Please accept this and give him a divorce. Your life will be miserable because he doesn't want this.
Divorce and run. He’s cheating and looking for a reason to kick you to the curb first.
I've heard it said that many cheaters get caught because they project and falsely accuse their partners.
I am willing to bet he is still cheating.
NTA, he's projecting
Get a good private eye to see if he's still cheating. If he's then in court you have a strong case for alimony as well as child support.
The actual audacity
NOT THE A HOLE! He cheated and he projected.
Why would you stay with him after he cheated? People who cheat don't deserve a second chance. They'll just do it again or project onto you, like in this case
Speaking from personal experience once a cheater always a cheater and therefore he is probably still cheating on you with somebody else and accusing you of cheating with your biological father is both disgusting and stupid. I would make this the one and only child with him and divorce him immediately.
Divorce him.
Nah that dude is crazy
NTA men only act like that when they're cheating and bet he is. Tell Sarah she can have him
This is so dumb of the husband. Stuff like that happens so often.
My parents both have dark brown hair and eyes and I came our with Grey-green eyes and light brown hair.
I got that both from my grandparents.
Nah i feel like he's still cheating if he's acting like that
Lady why did you get back together and have a child with someone that cheated on you?
Yeesh and this is a poster child story for why paternty testing should be automatic
NTA
He’s mad projecting and is probably back in touch with Sarah or has a new girlfriend
He's projecting
N t a if a man cannot trust you and be faithful to you and as soon as you're cheating that he is not the man for you
He is cheating or want to do it again and trying to find a reason to force you out😢
Nta, Divorce him.
I get his past trauma is being forced onto OP but if there is no issue with the paternity why not just get the test and silence everyone it’s not that big a deal 🤷🏻♀️
Did you know that people who are concerned about their partner cheating are most likely cheating
NTA, bringing up his affair was completely fair play. I get being suspicious , I do, but seeing OP's dad should have settled it. His own infidelity is causing him to project. I'm sure heritage was discussed at least a little since OP is using a different language when referring to her dad. That should have been a question asked and answered before the kid.
Nta. If he's going to dish trash, he needs to be ready for his trash to get dished back. He sounds reather insecure with a streak of meaness. And he may be on the cheat again. Otherwise he wouldn't have the need to throw out suggestion of dad being something else. Big fat red flags waving all over. Anyone that can ignore a new baby has a problem. Even if one is not brave enough to hold, there should be a lot of study of new creature and cooing at the wonder.
stop being around him
Should have divorced when he had sarah because now he thinks u r the same class as him. No class!
I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for a paternity test, but there's 100% something wrong with all his other behavior! That comment about your dad is disgusting and he's making a mistake by burning bridges before he knows the facts.
Its called being a carrier. Her mother's genes were more dominant for her. Thus the reason why she looks like her, but she still has genes from both parents. She passed down her fathers genes to their kid and they turned out to be more dominant than her husbands genes.
Some simple biology for you my man
I had a friend in highschool that was kinda like this but the darker color came from the fathers side both parents were very white but he looked mixed so the first time I went to his house and met his parents there were some questions.
Nope. People who cheat often accuse their partners of cheating. He may be cheating again. Protect your peace.
Bro me letting my ex husband know that our kids could come out in different shades of colors from us because that's the trend in my family. Blow up. Had to explain how biology can work if you have any kind of mixed blood
No, because this sounds like some heavy projection. Even AFTER the test revealed he's the father, he's still acting this way. Just let him go, he wants a white baby who looks just like him. I say let Sarah give it to him, seeing as he's looking for a reason to end things with OP.. 🤷♀️
NTA. But i would just take the dang paternity test to put his mind at ease. Not everyone is very intelligent when it comes to biology, and that's OKAY. Also, he's cheated before, so yes, he will be quicker to assume they youve done it too. But you reconciled so...
Dang brah
She gave birth and moved into the nursery? Nta
Okay but let’s say he’s only seen her bio dad once and didnt know it was her bio dad and my kid looks darker if both me and wife are more white than dark I would then ask for paternity test not because I think she cheated but because he’s more darker than both and if op’s husband met her adoptive parents how would he know which is adoptive and which is bio
Because your partner will tell you which is which, your argument doesn’t make sense , first op already would have had contact with bio dad and husband definitely knew it was her dad also op would have told him it was his bio dad it’s not like they just met they have been together for long enough to know which parent is which
Genetics r weird AF I’m multiracial 3/4 white ≈20% black and 6.25 Choctaw and somehow me and my mom look like we are a larger percentage Choctaw than we actually are if he is projecting on the fact that the baby has dark skin it’s probably because he’s cheating on you again and he’s insecure that your doing the same
This is why paternity tests should be mandatory.
NTA
He can accused you with your father but you are the ahole for reminding him about his own actions 😂😂. Girl you can do better trust me anyone will be better than that scam
A woman has 100% certainty of the paternity of the child. Men deserve that same certainty. If you're going to disagree with that that means you are not for actually quality. If you wanted actually quality you'd want men to have the same certainty about the paternity of their child as the mother does. Equality is not a one-way road you want it you have to give it
No one says they are not allowed to know but you can’t make it as something you shouldn’t get mad for if you ask for a paternity test it’s because you think your partner cheated there is no going back from that so if the partner gets mad they are also justified
No
Good job jane
Should have left when he cheated….its your fault for staying around and dealing with him
I think getting a Test IS OK but to think you Lied about your dad and you have Sex with him is crazy
Yta for staying with that man when he cheated on your girl 😬
Om sorry but anyone who gets vack with a vheater and HAS A KID WITH SAID CHEATER??? And he has the fucking balls to avcuse of you of chetaing(he is definitly cheating again. Leave his ass)
Why do you start a story but link to a different story?
Because they put the rest of the story in the comments so they link to another story for views for that one.
White passing 😢
I hate cheaters but I hate even more the people who stay with him
Women lie about paternity all the time married or not. It’s not unreasonable for any dad to ask for dna test.
Why would you have a child with him after he cheated? Just divorce and stop bothering.
You said he cheated…first 😂 a that to say that you also cheated? Just asking 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
YTA. We gotta stop pretending paternity tests are bad. Paternity tests are good and should be standard practice, the day a paternity test can be done with no judgement and no hassle will be a good day for men, and a bad day for cheating women.
If theyre so good why dont men do them instead of accusing their wives of cheating and making a whole scene over it by making them do it? You cant tell me part of a man asking for it is to embarass his wife
ETA
ALWAYS get the paternity test. They then have no ammunition at all. It is NOT offensive and it helps if you have to go to court. Ladies stop being stupid and just get it done.
but that just insinuates you have no trust in your partner. not everybody cheats and lies about it just so the child has a father.
NTA