MY DAD DIED | THE MICHALAKS
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- Опубликовано: 8 фев 2025
- FYI I didn't & wouldn't monitise this video with ads - the labels for the licenced music I used did that automatically. So any ad revenue this video generates will go all to the labels.
About five days ago I found out my dad had died.
Making this video was incredibly difficult, I cried a lot in the edit. But for some reason I felt deeply compelled to make it.
I guess I know he would have wanted me to.
Nothing can prepare you for losing a parent, the pain is like nothing I’ve ever endured. But I found what helped me is not just learning into the grief but letting it totally consume me.
We all have differnt ways to process it but what helped me is feeling every second of the pain and letting it do its thing. I guess it also helped to give me a sense of closure.
I just want to say that my wife Hannah has been incredible, she’s been my lifeboat this week, I don’t know how I would have coped without her. Grayson also, after I told him my dad and his grandad has passed away and that I’ll be really sad for a while, he’s been constantly cuddling me ever since.
My younger sister Katie has also made me super proud, I've never felt this close to her before and I hope out of this we'll be far more united.
And I also want to thank you lot, our little community, all of you that messaged me, Thank you so much.
Grandad loved being in the vlogs and chatting to our viewers when they recognised him in public. He always told me if I wanted more views then all I needed to do was put him in the thumnail and they'd come rolling in. (I think it might have got to his head a bit).
Anyway, I hope this video helped some people out there & my advice to anyone going through something like this… try to avoid going to a Smiggle, it won’t help.
I love you old boy, and I’ll miss you like mad.
As you always said: Love many, trust a few & always paddle your own canoe.
Stef.
Music featured:
Jean-Michel Blais - sans titre andante
• Jean-Michel Blais - sa...
Tom Rosenthal - My Life is a Song For You
• Tom Rosenthal - My Lif...
New Dad - I don't recognise you
• NewDad - I Don't Recog...
Beautiful, brave, and important video. Huge respect to you for making it.
When your music kicked in Tom I burst out crying , Stef your dad would be so damn proud.
Same here, as soon as the song started I was a wreckage :((
Brave, raw and heart breaking. You put it perfectly when you describe the waves of grief you get hit by when you loose a loved one. Learning to surf them is such a struggle but eventually those waves are welcomed as they bring memories you’ll treasure.
Thought this might get lost so commenting here just in case, the brilliant grief counsellor Julia Samuel has a book called 'Grief works' (and also 'this too shall pass'), which might be helpful reading in this horrible time.
As winnie the pooh said 'how lucky are we to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.' your dad was a treasure ❤️
Wow this is beautiful ❤️
We loved your Dad, Stef. Over the years, we grew to love him and enjoy his company and his humour. He was a great man and the news is sad to so many of us. Stay strong, your boys love you just the same.
First we cry, then later on we laugh at a memory of them, we find ourselves quoting them and that's how they live on. We carry them forward with us always. So sorry for your loss, I loved the videos with your Dad, what a beautiful treasure they are now.
And I’ve found parts of my personality that mirror theirs, I love those parts of me now so much more. I love that daily reminder of the impact they had on me and who I am.
Beautifully said 🤍
Blubbed like a baby throughout this. Stef, take time off and grieve. Look after yourself. I’m so, so sorry for your loss.
me too...
“Grief is the last act of love we have to give to those we loved. Where there is deep grief there was great love.” We only get one, there’s not as much time as we think, and it’s painfully precious. I am truly sorry for your loss, Michalaks.
Oh no!! The sweetest man that ALWAYS drew a smile on my face! May his soul rest in peace!
Im so sorry for your loss stef, this had me in a puddle of tears. I can’t imagine how hard this video must’ve been to make... you’re so brave and strong, remember that! Also the message for Grayson and Rufus was beautiful, they’re going to cherish that one day ❤️
His soul lives on through you & the boys. Thinking of you all, rest in peace ❤️
If there’s any comfort in being told, we knew him and loved him because you shared him with us. What a privilege and joy he was to observe in your videos. He was a light, sweet spirit that shone brightly. What a legacy to know he brought joy to little old me an ocean away. That’s nothing short of spectacular and quite fitting.
I’m sorry. All I can say is let yourself cry. Then laugh when you remember the good things. Then let yourself cry again. No apologies needed.
My biggest fear in life is and has always been losing my parents even though I know it is inevitable and it is coming. And seeing your parents grow old is the saddest experience I have ever gone through so I cannot ever imagine what you are currently going through, Stef. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. The videos with your dad in have always been some of my favorite you ever did.
Never apologise for the waves. You’re doing amazing. They’ll get easier, they’ll get further apart, but they’ll never leave, cause he’ll always be in your heart.
I am so sorry Stef. I understand where you are right now and “the waves.” I lost mom 10 years ago and dad a year ago. I was just cleaning the house yesterday listening to music and just burst into tears. It was a giant wave and you just never know how big it will be, how long it will last and what’s going to trigger it. I cry without sound sometimes. Mouth open, tear pouring down and just...no sound. It’s so friggin painful. Your world has been completely ripped apart. It will get easier though. I promise. But in those awful, dark moments, just feel it. Just let the tears come. It helps. It’s awful but it helps. I used to drive in the car alone and just scream. That helps too. Stef you have so many memories that you can cherish. All of your amazing videos that you can watch when you’re ready. Your dad got to meet Hannah and your boys and you can see how much he loved all of you. He seemed to be such a wonderful, wonderful man. So genuine. Thank you for sharing him with all of us. You will never forget him and you will never stop grieving but the days will get easier. Thank you for sharing this with everyone. It will help you and others going through the same loss. Sending hugs from Alberta, Canada. Take care. Tanya
My god that was so painful and beautiful all at the same time. As someone with a profound fear of death and my loved ones dying, this video should have given me the fear again but it has instead given me the kick up the arse I always need to live in the moment and stop fearing the inevitable. I’ll be calling my parents today. I’m so sorry Stef and thank you.
I weeped hot tears watching this video. What a honorable tribute to your amazing Dad, Stef. What a beautiful human you are to capture your Dad's lovely soul in this video. Could not realise that the loss of someone else's dad could impact me ever so deeply. Rest in peace, Old Man, and all my condolences to you, precious Stef ❤
I’m crying as I watch this and really am so sad that your family has experienced this. Grief is such an uncontrollably turbulent thing and my heart goes out to you all as it unfolds. Beautiful, beautiful film. Your dad would have loved it.
"There is no end to grief that's how I know there is no end to love" grief as in love Transcends space and time you learn to cope with grief and everyone's way of dealing with it is different, your right about the waves as time goes by there is less of them than suddenly a memory will hit you out of the blue, and knock you sideways, for me the triggers are my son when he does or says something that reminds me when i was a child and my interactions with my father.
I’m so sorry for your loss Stef, this was a lovely video of him ❤️
My heart goes out to you, I lost my mum last year and nothing prepares you for the hole it leaves in your life. I read the following quote and I think it's so true, "Grief is just love with no place to go".
Blubbered like an absolute baby! We all loved your dad stef, he’d love this.
I lost my dad 6 months ago. I really appreciated this video, helps to hear someone else voice my own feelings. Thank you.
I am so sorry unbelievably sorry for your loss.
Aw Stef. This is such a sad loss, I feel like he was all of our grandpa, and we all loved him in the videos so much. This was so sad to hear, and I am so sorry !
aw god Stef, heartbroken for you guys. He was literally the cutest gramps, always seemed to be full of adventure, love and laughter. So glad he got to bless your boys with his life. Death is hard, mourning is harder, and rebuilding is the hardest. Treasure those memories, just know he's always with you and hope that brings you the little bit of comfort in your darkest times. Take care Michalaks x
So sorry! He was so lovely, caring and full of worldly wisdom! He will be missed not only by his family but I’m sure by everyone who’s life he touched, even a subscriber like myself, sending lots of love to you all x
“How rare and beautiful it is that we even exist”
After losing my dad a few years ago I can’t bear the pain of someone else losing a parent. I hurt so bad for them I just can’t stop crying. So even though I can’t watch this video. I am so so sorry for your loss Stefan and I promise it does get better.
My dad died 3 days ago and I remembered this video and how you talked about pain and grief and.. thank you.
Beautiful video.💔
I’m so sorry, I used to love seeing him in the vlogs and I remember how he used to call baby Grayson ‘Butterball’
Watching again as my Dad has died. You've bottled lightning in this one because it so beautifully captures the profound sadness and love that grief is.
I cried the entire 10 minutes and 49 seconds. I've never lost anyone before, and I'm so scared for when I do. I'm so sorry about your dad ❤
All my love goes out to you Stef your dad was great I would really enjoy your vlogs when he was in them , My mum died last Dec only 70, very unexpected short Illness and it’s devastating, I’ve struggled all year up and down with grief esp dealing with it going through the pandemic as well, a year passed this Dec and I miss her every hour of everyday but still with tears I can now add a smile of our wonderful memories and times we had , times heals but the loss never goes , 💙
This is absolutely one of the most beautiful, sad and heart warming videos I have ever seen on You Tube. It sounds weird to say thank you for making it, but it does make you realise just what is important and to make those memories. I have a lot of respect for you. So much love and I am so sorry for your loss. x
I've heard grief described as love with nowhere to go. So sad but ultimately beautiful. Your Dad came across as an absolute gem in the pieces we got to see of him so thank you for sharing him us. As they say in the Jewish community, may his memory be a blessing.
We are strangers watching you on the Internet and we can all see how much love you had for your dad. He absolutely knew too. It's nice to have the chance to tell someone you love them one last time but actions speak so much louder and I don't doubt that he knew in his heart just how loved and appreciated he was. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hello Steff! My name is Stephen and I've been watching your videos for five years now. I lost my grandmother a month ago and it's been tough. You're right. It's like giant waves crashing through my entire being whenever I see something that reminds me of her. I learned that overtime, these waves become smaller and smaller. they slowly turn into ripples of sadness, sometimes nostalgia. The way I see it now is that these ripples of random emotions are reminder that life is finite. These small ripples reminds me that I am alive and I made it through. Thank you, Steff.
This was so beautiful. I used to love when your dad would call Grayson 'Butter ball'. I am so sorry for your loss. He was always such a joy to watch on your vlogs and this is absolute justice to that. Sending so much love x
Felt this, really felt this. Instant reaction was ‘not grandad’. Thinking of you and the family, take good care of yourself. X
I am so sorry to hear this. He came across as having a wonderful character in your videos, and you must be so grateful that you managed to capture memories on film with him. Thank you for sharing this with us
Don’t know why this just popped up on my page, the unusual surname rang a bell. Your summers uncle. I had to search a few videos to see was there anything that I could link summer and Kate to and I remembered seeing pictures of her Dad. So very sorry ye lost your Dad.
I am heartbroken for you, he seemed like the kindest man and he is so proud of you. Give your self the time and remember the good times xxx
i loved when your dad was in the vlogs, my most heartfelt condolences to your family.
Grandad Michalak....You will be missed but always loved. Sorry for your loss 🤍 and thank you for finding the courage to film for us.
Ah man. I’m literally in full blown tears. I’m so sorry . This was beautiful. Just beautiful. My nana has just been diagnosed with lung cancer and last night I started to write her a big letter with all my childhood memories of us, things that we would never say out loud to each other - memories, smells, soundscapes - things that take me back that I want her to know about before anything should happen. I spent last night in tears for what’s to come (she’s 91 and lives 400 miles away so so can’t go see her). This video has just reaffirmed everything I need to share with her before it’s too late. Sending you love and light Stef, beautiful raw, honest video. Big virtual hug from a stranger 😘💫 xxxxx
Oh my goodness, Stef. I'm so, so sorry. So sorry. Your dad was such a sweetheart. I loved watching the vlogs of him interacting with you and the family. I totally get it when you talk about the waves of grief.
Will it get better over time? Yes. You will wake up one day and he won't be the first thing you think about. You will find yourself chuckling about some of the things he did or you did together. Instead of frequent, overwhelming waves of grief, you will start to experience sharp pangs from time to time.
You will always miss him. I lost my dad 22 years ago this year. I talk about him a lot. Always with a laugh or a smile. I miss him.
Sending you a hug.
My absolute favorite internet grandad 💔 Legend. Sending love to you all.
Such a beautiful video in his memory. I lost my Mum when I was 10 and it wasn’t until 15 that the realisation of it hit and it was crushing. Now I’m 30 and can say, you don’t get it over, you’re never over it, but you learn to live with the gap that they leave. And I’m thankful that I ever had her in my life, even for a short time how lucky was I. There’s comfort in that. Sending love x
Soul crushingly beautiful.
The depth of our suffering is the price we have to pay for our love, and it’s all worth it. Wow. Thank you Stef! I’m one of those humans that struggle a lot with how finite we are and this sentence just made me a little bit more ok with it. I’ll definitely try to think about this everytime I’m struggling. I’ve been watching your videos since Grayson was a tiny little baby and I’ve always loved the way you think and express your ideas through your videos. This is beyond beautiful. Thank you for being so raw, so unapologetically human. Your dad created a good one ❤️
This video has me weeping, Stef. In a beautiful, sentimental, whole way. Thoughts and love to you xo
I went to my parents room and just hugged them without saying a word. Thanks Stef!
Your dad was a legend, Stef. We loved him. I wish you peace as you ride the waves.
Stef I'm only 2 mins in and I'm so sorry, I've watched all the special memories on here of you and your dad. Hold on to those precious memories. Witnessing your pain, I wish I could make it stop for you. Sending all the love and strength. Cry all you need to! Xx
he seemed like such a beautiful funny man, i feel your grief and it breaks my heart
How you managed to make this video is beyond. But I think it was a very good thing you did. I’m so sorry for your loss, he seemed like a very good man 🤍
I am sorry your dad has died and without warning.I'm currently stuck in another country knowing my elderly dad's health is declining but unable to get to him. I'm crying along with you.Thinking of you all.
I’m so sorry for your loss. He was such a bright light. You’re so brave for making this video!
I'm so sorry for your loss!
My dad left last May, I couldn't visit him in his last days because of covid.
My mom left, when I visited her.
There is nothing anyone can do for you but letting you mourne as long as you need.
Forever.
Omg wasn’t prepared to cry this much on a Sunday morning 😢 I loved your videos of him xxx
As a dear former colleague told me during those first few months after my mother passed away, now nearly two years ago: remember that the grief and loss you feel are only a sign of the love you have for that person. It is what I keep in mind when those waves hit time and time again and I hope it'll maybe help others going through the same thing. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Your sadness is palpable. My heart goes out to you. Your Dad seemed like a wonderful man. Losing a parent is terrible. Lots of short sentences.
This was the most freaking beautiful video I have ever watched. I lost my dad this last April, and it was like you went into my heart and spoke what I could not say. You’re right now tough, grief is such a small price to pay to o experience all of the tremendous love that brought us to this point. I am so very sorry that you lost your dad ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly, every time you dad showed up in one of your videos I would smile and always end up giggling. What a lovely and special man he was 🤍 My deepest condolences to you.
Those bittersweet waves are the ones that would keep you floating up reminding you that he’s present in your heart always. God bless you and your family. Thanks for being genuine and brave to share your emotions with us, your audience, keep on!
My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry xx
Sharing your grief. My mum passed away in July. She was the first close person I’ve lost and my heart aches every day for her. She was my confidante and such a kind, thoughtful person. You will get through this initial searing pain little by little and then from time to time it will hit you between the eyes. I was with her when she took her last breaths and I suppose that’s one of the most painful and at the same time comforting things. Sending love and strength xx
I am so sorry Stef. I am so heartbroken for you. Have not stopped thinking of you all since I read about it on your Instagram. Love to you
Thank you for sharing this Steph. My aunt passed away the other day so I am currently in that swirling pit of grief with you. But thank you for helping me to see the beauty in it too. Where there is deep grief, there was great love. Your dad was a light, thank you for allowing us to know him
I’ve watched this channel for longer than I can remember and your Dad was truly an incredible man🧡 sending so much love x
I lost my dad young, he was only 53. Where it hit you every 5 minutes then become hours then days then months. Everyday will get easier but those hits though become further apart will always make your heart sink. Beautiful video and sorry for your loss.
Aww I loved your Dad, he was such a jolly chap, God bless him RIP
Loosing your parents is the last stage of adulthood.
My condolences Stef.
I wish “I’m sorry for your loss” meant more. I wish words... any words could pierce through the depth of sorrow you go through when you lose someone so loved, so dear. I know these words can’t help, but I’m still so sorry for your loss, for your pain. Thank you for sharing these precious memories. We miss him. Love to your family. Hope and prayers ❤️
A beautiful tribute.
Stef I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your Dad. What a beautiful man he was. I always enjoyed seeing him in videos. He will be missed.
I’m just a stranger who watches your videos. This was so so beautiful. (Couldn’t not cry all the way through.) 🤍
so sorry to hear this Stef, you've made a beautiful thing here - film is such an incredible capsule and a gift to remember. Thinking of you all x
I lost my grandad today and I came here to find comfort. You have such a way of putting things so perfectly- never stop sharing your talent- you connect with people on such a raw level- thank you ❤
@@Tiffanynicholls I hope you manage find something inside it x
@@TheMichalaks always- your videos are moments of magic- more than you know! X
“The depth of our suffering is the price we all have to pay for the breadth of our love.”❤️
This was absolutely beautiful. No words will help the grief you are feeling, however I hope you truly do come out of this learning something that will make the agonizing pain useful.
I lost my nana a couple weeks before Christmas, I know exactly how it feels. Stay strong, let yourself grieve.
I’m so extremely sorry. I actually think about him from time to time. He was really cool guy. I feel your pain, my own dad has stage 4 colon cancer. Very sorry for your loss
So sorry you lost your father. I still go to pick up the phone to call my parents, and then realize I don't have them anymore. I would like to say it gets easier, but I think I miss them more. I don't cry as much about it, but there is still this weird craving to connect with them all the time.
So sorry for your loss. His personality always shone through whenever he was in your videos!!❤️
Thank you for making this video, your dad would have loved it.
My mom just recently lost her mom. Mom got a call from gran and said that she didn’t think she was going to be around much longer but that she was at peace and ready. My mom had an 8 hour flight to see her the next day and devastatingly missed her by an hour.
It’s been hard to figure out what to say to my mom but this video has given me a little insight.
So sorry for your lost guys, especially Stef💔😭
I pray for you all, hope you find peace and always surrounded by loves. You guys are very lucky to have each other. Sending you all love and virtual hugs 🤗 💕
Thank you for being so eloquent with your grief. I lot my father when I was 11 years old, it's been 11 years. I don't think I've ever been able to describe my grief until the waves made so much sense. Grief is horrendous but as you said there is beauty in it. Thank you Stef.
Such wonderful clips you have of all the lovely memories you have with him. Thinking of you and your family in this hard time.
I dont know why I watched this video, after loosing my brilliant papa on Wednesday. I've sobbed the whole way through. But as always your videos bring a new perspective and a distinct beauty. Be kind to yourself x
I can’t believe it losing a parent is hard. Thank you for being honest about your grief. Gosh your Dad was a kind soul thank you for sharing him with us in your videos.
Losing my mum was the hardest and most life altering experience. I have and never will be the same, but from that grief I grew and it stunted growth. Grief makes you grow around rather than up, you have to struggle for the light, like tree roots buried beneath rocks. This altered state of growth means that you are different forever altered and I can spot this in people from the moment I meet them. I often find myself becoming friends with others who have lost their parents and drawn to these people, because they are different from those who haven’t experienced loss, they are better for it and worse. Grief is brutal but beautiful.
He always put a smile on my face when he was in the videos. I’m honestly so sorry for your loss, but THANK YOU for being so raw and honest through this process for you ❤️
I lost my dad suddenly in may last year. It was the most horrendous thing I have ever had to face. I will say it really helped me bond with people I'd have bearly spoken to. My dad was the absolute world to me too. I'm so sorry. There is nothing someone can say that will help. If theres one thing I've gotten comfort in is having little signs from animals etc that hes around. Maybe you'll get that too it definitely helps.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you give yourself time to grieve and mourn. We all really loved your father, he was such a gentle soul and always made us laugh.
Wow. How you managed to pull together something so beautiful in the depths of grief is beyond me. The best piece of advice I got for grief was to do whatever feels right at the time. The waves get further apart and somehow you make a little lifejacket and learn to float (most of the time). Your dad seemed like a wonderful man and a fab grandad. He will be missed. P.s. the grief cast podcast is great when you feel ready
i’m so sorry stef, i cant imagine how hard it must have been to make this video. it is a beautiful tribute to your dad. ❤️
I have also just lost my dad a few days ago due to covid, he was young with no health conditions so it was very shocking. I witnessed his cardiac arrest and that image will stay with me forever. I'm so sorry for your loss Stef, I sadly know exactly how you feel. I'm keeping as busy and distracted as I can, nights are the hardest though. I too hope I can get something positive out of his death, my life feels changed forever and I now see it so differently too. Thank you for doing this video as watching somebody go through what I am currently going through comforts me. I am with you, sending much love x
Oh Stef my heart literally breaks for you I am so so sorry! 💔 I always loved your dad in the videos. He was such a wonderful, caring man and the only reason I know that is because you always captured the moments so well. How you managed to put this video together I don’t even know. You are so brave. Sending you all hugs! I’m so sorry xx
i’m sorry for your loss ♥️ beautiful video! had me in tears. my grandma died two weeks ago. and i completely get what you mean with feeling alone, cause nobody will understand what it’s like.. fortunately, i have my family and with them i don’t feel alone, cause they get it.
the thought that there’s a piece of my grandma in everyone in the family is so beautiful. please take time for yourself and take care of yourself, don’t push the sadness down. ♥️
Devastating news. Always loved seeing him in the videos as I'm from Belfast area too. Thinking of you all 💚
I just lost my dad on 12/31/2020. I feel your pain. It has been such a difficult last week for me and I hope that you are able to take the time you need to grieve.