Exactly! Dude sounds manipulative as hell. AND, I’d bet my bottom dollar she has a laundry list of reasons why she doesn’t want a bar of it. I’ll bet he’s either a lazy and selfish partner in or out of the bedroom. Or both.
The issue is that he wants her to love him the way he receives it, but he is only loving her the way he wants to give it (he said sex is how he shows love). If he loves her the way SHE receives it, he will get loved the way he receives it in return….everybody wins. But also, if sex is the only way you can feel loved you might need therapy.
While yes, your chances of receiving what you want are higher when giving your partner what they want, this is far from guaranteed. You're in for a world of hurt if you approach every relationship in this way, and this advice could be potentially harmful to couples. Also, regarding the last line, not having the same understanding of what love feels like is not necessarily an indicator of needing therapy. In the context of the video, I understand your perspective, but in reality, some people's needs are a lot simpler (albeit harder for someone else to satisfy those needs). Just sounds like the dude needs to work on his empathy and/or the couple is a mismatch.
Having been with someone like this. My advice is get out at the earliest opportunity. It will never get better. Getting sex for them becomes more important than you as a person and it will erode your self esteem. The only solution for him is therapy. He needs to do that away from a relationship. Let’s normalise getting into relationships with secure people. If you’re not healthy minded you shouldn’t be dating period because people like that destroy people.
The quality time always gets me because yall need to understand what you and your partner MEAN when they say they like quality time. For me quality time means just chilling at home while wife is just in my presence. For my wife if we aint going outside of the house then we never had quality time together PERIOD
And what is he doing to make HER feel loved?? It goes both ways. I'm guessing he's a taker. Don't know his side but just demanding sex or I don't feel loved isn't making her want you more... Opposite. Kick rocks.
Keyshia Cole said it best: “You need to get if don’t wanna, love you the right way he ain’t gonna, it ain’t where he’s at, it’s where he wants to be….”
Hypersexuality is a trauma response in my opinion. I think loving sex and desiring sex multiple times a week is healthy but to this extent I start to think there’s a psychological problem especially when emotional dysregulation and manipulation occurs.
No, not all love is conditional. Mother and child. Brothers. If you really care about someone, you will always love them, in a different way. I have been divorced for 13 years and I love my ex (who I haven't spoken to in at least 10 years) in a way that I want him to be happy and have a good life. I felt very sad when his grandparents passed away. We spent 10 years together. It wasn't conditional, we just grew older and were different people.
So is chemistry. They need to break up. She needs someone who isn’t as into sex. He needs someone with a higher libido. You can’t objectify yourself simply because someone has a higher libido than you. That comes from something else in their interactions.
Sex isn’t a love language. Sex is a necessary ingredient to a healthy relationship - and frequency and type needs to be negotiated by both parties. A few times a month is almost never adequate. But you don’t get to throw your arms to the sky, and scream “but sex is my love language” if you’re not willing to get to the bottom of why your girlfriend is so apathetic toward sex with you that thats all she wants it. I would bet my bottom dollar that either something is wrong in the relationship, something is physiologically wrong with her, to where the pleasure is nonexistent, and potentially sex is painful/uncomfortable for her, or he’s just selfish and useless in bed. Either way - saying ‘sex is my love language’ is lazy at best, and manipulative at worst.
I was with a narcissist who did shit like this all the time. He would say if I didn't do this or that I didn't actually love him and he was leaving and let me tell u when I finally got away from that it has been the best year and half for me. It is still tough but it is worth it and if the lady who sent that in is reading this I would say leave u will feel better but it is ur life and u are the only one who can make that call.
The guy aint it, definitely a bad situation and he is acting awful. But a couple times a month? Surely a 8 times a month minimum for couples is standard.
He made her feel like sex was a chore, so now she's not into it. But if it's his love language, then either she needs to find a way to to get back into him again, or admit that she doesn't really care about anymore & leave. It ain't THAT good to stick it out for just a couple times a month!
Was on the woman’s side until I heard a couple times a month? So what every other week? For 7 years? Ultimatum isn’t needed but it gets to a point of probably a couple months out of obligation or pity. Let’s not pretend that a guy isn’t going to be frustrated if his girl doesn’t want to have sex with him, it’s not even love language it just boils down to are you not physically attracted to me? especially since it’s not like he can break the boundaries of the relationship and sleep with someone else.
Same. If someone tells they only want it twice a month, I think it’s safe to say they’re just not that into sex. Which is fine…but it would also make sense to date someone who also isn’t that into it..
But how is she supposed to want more sex with him if he’s nasty and mean? He needs to adjust his behaviour first. No wonder the woman isn’t feeling him if he acts that way.
@@a.j.1819 When you want it, you’re emotions have little to do with the actual desire. It can definitely affect who you’d want it from, but it’s that’s really it. Seeing that she’s unbothered by such a gap, and also not getting any on the side means it’s possible she doesn’t want to that often even when he’s nice either. They simply aren’t right for one another.
You have to keep physical attraction alive in other ways than just sticking ya meat in someone whenever you want, and having a good time on top of them. It's so unattractive, and becomes something you pray will be over whilst you're laying there. Who'd want that?
because they don't.. sex shouldn't be what drives any relationship... yes it's important but making someone obligated to have sex with you in order for you to love them is wild
Because intercourse isn’t supposed to be the foundation of a relationship. If that’s what you’re looking for you should seek out a f buddy not a partner
@@bambisentsho Just wondering, what is the difference between saying "I dont feel loved because we barely have sex anymore", and "you dont give me words of affirmation which make me feel good anymore". none of those should be what "drives a relationship", but if thats how your SO feels loved and you dont give it, they would be miserable with you. And while the guy is rude, it does go both ways, the girl isnt giving the guy what he wants, the guy isnt giving the girl what she wants. If any one of them started giving they would start receiving as well. So IMO both need work. Selfish people
@@shamirmartha4736facts. And they are 7 years in. They've probably been working on this for years and are getting nowhere. This would be way worse if that was how he acted within the first year.
I'm a gift giver as well. Homie seems like a nightmare. I feel like marriage counseling is in order. If it doesn't improve after that, then let him go.
Well, I have been the husband. Sometimes people are not compatible. It sounds like there are more factors at play and more damage done than what is said. At this point, it may be safest to charge this and move one. Attention Need is a thing.
All love between couples is conditional. Sexual compatability is important. If you aren't compatible, it will fail. He is right to say he wants more sex just as much as she is to say she doesn't. If they can't make it work they call time. There are likely other issues in the relationship that are causing the sex issues and if they both don't want to do couples therapy to resolve their communication issues then they should call time.
People never want to see it from the eyes of the man. There may be a possibility that the man is giving the woman all that she requires(her love language) and not getting his in return so he feels robbed, Men and women are different creatures, women are more emotional and men are more physical.
So many guys understand where he is coming from where you trapped in a committed relationship with someone you still love but she doesn’t care to have sex as much as you two used to. And because you are a good man you don’t cheat and try to work it out. I don’t believe in multiple partners but different strokes for different folks. Couple of times a month is crazy, if you didn’t start there to big with. So try to meet each other in the middle to compromise like twice a week or you could let him get his nut off elsewhere so you don’t have to deal with the build up. I would never recommend splitting unless things got physical, but marriage means you work things out. Just imagine if he only romanced you or made you feel loved or pretty at the frequency you had sex. There would be an uproar of women calling him an abuser.
The sex will come when she feels loved. Sex is often more important for men, but unfortunately it won’t happen unless there’s a strong bond between both of them (a decrease in libido in women can also happen for other reasons like a hormonal imbalance). The solution is simple, they need to spend quality time together and build that bond, build the trust. This situation is unfortunately very common in heterosexual relationships. The man becomes very frustrated when his wife won’t have sex with him, but even if she did it would come from a bad place of feeling forced to. That’s how martial rape can happen
I guess because of size, and physical strength… but ultimately, naturally and otherwise, this is a Man’s world… it will take a lot for the more vulnerable beings to be seen as threatening to the more powerful ones.
@@shoozu not really. Isn't that how a shit ton of relationships end up collapsing? One partner is unsatisfied with the other, leading to them stepping out of the relationship either physically or emotionally. Sometimes both. It's really just the crude way the guy went about saying this stuff that makes it toxic instead of healthy communication.
@@bluewolf619125 yeah of course lots of relationships break down for different reasons. I'm saying the notion of wanting to have sex with someone 'at your command' or you'll leave, and calling it a love language when it's not is insanity. All of the language he used around it is crazy. His problem is really nothing to do with that specific relationship with her breaking down. If he believes it's normal well-balanced behaviour to give a romantic partner 0 affection outside of sex, he'll continue to do it in every relationship and have the same issue. Even if he meets someone with a high sex drive, being affectionate and loving doesn't seem to come natural to him and he'd rather leave than work on it 😵💫 I've seen this play out a few times but worse because they had a kid. Now the kid has no father figure because his dad put 🍑😺 before being a loving fiance. People who can only show love through sex don't typically have real platonic friendships and don't know how to show love to their kids. I truly wish men would just grow up and go to therapy because it's getting scary.
Fuhad you can give me all the quality time and gifts you wantttttt ☺☺ But I want her to leave him because it seems like from the information, he is not giving her her love language which would make her give him his.
Reverse it and you guys will call the man weak for not reciprocating her woman love language which is sex 14 times a week The double standards in this comment section is crazy Yall should shh shh it
This dude is whacked. 14 times a week? Dude, literally no one with a functional life and responsibilities has time for that. He’s also manipulative af. If he spent half as much trying to help her out, nurture her and give the love language she wants to receive, maybe he wouldn’t have to waste so much energy being manipulative and lazy to get what he wants.
so she can withold sex but still expects lovey dovey behavior.... like why do we not talk about the both of them needing to show up for each other.... shes not doing her part and hes not doing his they both are at fault.
Lovey dovey behaviour is the basics in a relationship. Sex too often can be taxing on the body, and if you're not fully in the mood cos you don't feel loved it can hurt. Or as she said, she feels just like a body to have sex with. Worst feeling.
Many men consider sex a basic necessity in a relationship… bc if not then we are just roommates…. Honestly I feel both ppl are being selfish as a guy I don’t always feel like being lovey dovey and listening to her crappy stories but I do it bc I love her and on the other side I’m sure she dosent feel like having sex all the times I ask but she does it bc she loves me… a relationship is team work both sides have to show up even when you don’t want to that’s what you signed up for
@@williereese6200 @williereese6200 It doesn't matter what men/women consider a basic necessity. The foundation is lovey dovey stuff. Unless you met them as a sex worker, and jumped straight in to bed, the basics are the things you do on dates and in the talking stage. Flirting, kissing, complimenting, listening to their stories and being generally interested in them. The sex should be secondary, and realistically should come when you're comfortable since you're literally in your most vulnerable state. Comparing the two is honestly insane. Sex isn't a lovely langauge. Love languages usually come things that were either over nurtured or neglected in childhood. Physical touch as a language is actually more about hugs, connection and safety in someone's arms. Basically what James described. He just has a high sex drive which is fair enough, but acting like it's an equally balanced give and take thing is nuts.
It would be interesting hearing the guys point of you cause sounds like it was exaggerated to make it sound more malicious. Many sexless marriages start like this where at the beginning there was a lot of sex. Then wants the female gets her security she withholds it to weaponise it against the guy
Sex is NOT a love language 😂😂
Exactly!
Dude sounds manipulative as hell. AND, I’d bet my bottom dollar she has a laundry list of reasons why she doesn’t want a bar of it.
I’ll bet he’s either a lazy and selfish partner in or out of the bedroom. Or both.
At all!!!!
Sexual compatibility is a real thing in relationships
The issue is that he wants her to love him the way he receives it, but he is only loving her the way he wants to give it (he said sex is how he shows love). If he loves her the way SHE receives it, he will get loved the way he receives it in return….everybody wins. But also, if sex is the only way you can feel loved you might need therapy.
Not really but go off
While yes, your chances of receiving what you want are higher when giving your partner what they want, this is far from guaranteed. You're in for a world of hurt if you approach every relationship in this way, and this advice could be potentially harmful to couples.
Also, regarding the last line, not having the same understanding of what love feels like is not necessarily an indicator of needing therapy. In the context of the video, I understand your perspective, but in reality, some people's needs are a lot simpler (albeit harder for someone else to satisfy those needs).
Just sounds like the dude needs to work on his empathy and/or the couple is a mismatch.
Having been with someone like this. My advice is get out at the earliest opportunity. It will never get better. Getting sex for them becomes more important than you as a person and it will erode your self esteem. The only solution for him is therapy. He needs to do that away from a relationship. Let’s normalise getting into relationships with secure people. If you’re not healthy minded you shouldn’t be dating period because people like that destroy people.
So well put
The quality time always gets me because yall need to understand what you and your partner MEAN when they say they like quality time. For me quality time means just chilling at home while wife is just in my presence. For my wife if we aint going outside of the house then we never had quality time together PERIOD
Gaslighting her could turn into abuse. Careful. I'm no therapist and I don't know your story but I'd get out of there!
Charmander can turn into Charizard
And what is he doing to make HER feel loved?? It goes both ways. I'm guessing he's a taker. Don't know his side but just demanding sex or I don't feel loved isn't making her want you more... Opposite. Kick rocks.
5:08 the thing is tho Fuhad, the sex can’t be good if you’re not mentally feeling it
Did Fuhad just say "Dem rubby rubs" 🤣🤣🤣
Im confused at the boys in here who thought James and Fuhad were gonna be on the guys side. Do ya'll not watch the podcast?
Keyshia Cole said it best: “You need to get if don’t wanna, love you the right way he ain’t gonna, it ain’t where he’s at, it’s where he wants to be….”
Hypersexuality is a trauma response in my opinion. I think loving sex and desiring sex multiple times a week is healthy but to this extent I start to think there’s a psychological problem especially when emotional dysregulation and manipulation occurs.
100% especially emotional dysregulation.
Twice a month is criminal! That’s where the side pieces will start creeping out 😂
Love is always conditional but this kinda love is a bad condition
No, not all love is conditional. Mother and child. Brothers. If you really care about someone, you will always love them, in a different way. I have been divorced for 13 years and I love my ex (who I haven't spoken to in at least 10 years) in a way that I want him to be happy and have a good life. I felt very sad when his grandparents passed away. We spent 10 years together. It wasn't conditional, we just grew older and were different people.
Acting like sexual frustration isnt a real thing is wild.
Self-control is real too.
@@tremblé007 That is true. It's also 3 sides to every story. Her side, his side, and the truth.
@@TNGG_Luckyand I’m sure if you ask her she is a saint in all this too
So is chemistry. They need to break up. She needs someone who isn’t as into sex. He needs someone with a higher libido. You can’t objectify yourself simply because someone has a higher libido than you. That comes from something else in their interactions.
Sex is not a love language, if sex is the ONLY way he feels love something is wrong with him. RUN!!!!!
Sex isn’t a love language. Sex is a necessary ingredient to a healthy relationship - and frequency and type needs to be negotiated by both parties.
A few times a month is almost never adequate.
But you don’t get to throw your arms to the sky, and scream “but sex is my love language” if you’re not willing to get to the bottom of why your girlfriend is so apathetic toward sex with you that thats all she wants it.
I would bet my bottom dollar that either something is wrong in the relationship, something is physiologically wrong with her, to where the pleasure is nonexistent, and potentially sex is painful/uncomfortable for her, or he’s just selfish and useless in bed.
Either way - saying ‘sex is my love language’ is lazy at best, and manipulative at worst.
I was with a narcissist who did shit like this all the time. He would say if I didn't do this or that I didn't actually love him and he was leaving and let me tell u when I finally got away from that it has been the best year and half for me. It is still tough but it is worth it and if the lady who sent that in is reading this I would say leave u will feel better but it is ur life and u are the only one who can make that call.
The guy aint it, definitely a bad situation and he is acting awful. But a couple times a month? Surely a 8 times a month minimum for couples is standard.
Sex drive is different for everyone and naturally dwindles after while
He made her feel like sex was a chore, so now she's not into it. But if it's his love language, then either she needs to find a way to to get back into him again, or admit that she doesn't really care about anymore & leave. It ain't THAT good to stick it out for just a couple times a month!
Exactly. 👍🏼
They might not be the ones for each other and are just now noticing
Ooooooooo 👀 Abuse! Call the Police! MAYDAY SOS 🆘 GET OUT 😬
Was on the woman’s side until I heard a couple times a month? So what every other week? For 7 years? Ultimatum isn’t needed but it gets to a point of probably a couple months out of obligation or pity. Let’s not pretend that a guy isn’t going to be frustrated if his girl doesn’t want to have sex with him, it’s not even love language it just boils down to are you not physically attracted to me? especially since it’s not like he can break the boundaries of the relationship and sleep with someone else.
Same. If someone tells they only want it twice a month, I think it’s safe to say they’re just not that into sex. Which is fine…but it would also make sense to date someone who also isn’t that into it..
But how is she supposed to want more sex with him if he’s nasty and mean? He needs to adjust his behaviour first. No wonder the woman isn’t feeling him if he acts that way.
@@a.j.1819 why would he act nice if he just had something that he really likes taken from him with no explanation
@@a.j.1819
When you want it, you’re emotions have little to do with the actual desire. It can definitely affect who you’d want it from, but it’s that’s really it. Seeing that she’s unbothered by such a gap, and also not getting any on the side means it’s possible she doesn’t want to that often even when he’s nice either.
They simply aren’t right for one another.
You have to keep physical attraction alive in other ways than just sticking ya meat in someone whenever you want, and having a good time on top of them. It's so unattractive, and becomes something you pray will be over whilst you're laying there. Who'd want that?
So Fuhad and I’s love languages *both* _give and get_ are the *_EXACT_* same! 👏🏻 Nice!
Why are James and Fuhad acting like they didn't understand where the guy is coming from lol
because they don't.. sex shouldn't be what drives any relationship... yes it's important but making someone obligated to have sex with you in order for you to love them is wild
Because intercourse isn’t supposed to be the foundation of a relationship. If that’s what you’re looking for you should seek out a f buddy not a partner
@@bambisentsho Just wondering, what is the difference between saying "I dont feel loved because we barely have sex anymore", and "you dont give me words of affirmation which make me feel good anymore". none of those should be what "drives a relationship", but if thats how your SO feels loved and you dont give it, they would be miserable with you. And while the guy is rude, it does go both ways, the girl isnt giving the guy what he wants, the guy isnt giving the girl what she wants. If any one of them started giving they would start receiving as well. So IMO both need work. Selfish people
I’m not taking any sides here but what should drive a relationship?
@@shamirmartha4736facts. And they are 7 years in. They've probably been working on this for years and are getting nowhere. This would be way worse if that was how he acted within the first year.
I'm a gift giver as well. Homie seems like a nightmare. I feel like marriage counseling is in order. If it doesn't improve after that, then let him go.
I dreamt about James last night 😂 congratulating him on the USA tour and stuff🌚 Im really in deep
14 times is not that bad bc sometimes it can be 2 to 4 times in one night.
Well, I have been the husband. Sometimes people are not compatible. It sounds like there are more factors at play and more damage done than what is said. At this point, it may be safest to charge this and move one. Attention Need is a thing.
I swear Fuhad my soul mate 😂😂😂❤
All love between couples is conditional. Sexual compatability is important. If you aren't compatible, it will fail. He is right to say he wants more sex just as much as she is to say she doesn't. If they can't make it work they call time. There are likely other issues in the relationship that are causing the sex issues and if they both don't want to do couples therapy to resolve their communication issues then they should call time.
People never want to see it from the eyes of the man. There may be a possibility that the man is giving the woman all that she requires(her love language) and not getting his in return so he feels robbed, Men and women are different creatures, women are more emotional and men are more physical.
So many guys understand where he is coming from where you trapped in a committed relationship with someone you still love but she doesn’t care to have sex as much as you two used to. And because you are a good man you don’t cheat and try to work it out. I don’t believe in multiple partners but different strokes for different folks. Couple of times a month is crazy, if you didn’t start there to big with. So try to meet each other in the middle to compromise like twice a week or you could let him get his nut off elsewhere so you don’t have to deal with the build up. I would never recommend splitting unless things got physical, but marriage means you work things out. Just imagine if he only romanced you or made you feel loved or pretty at the frequency you had sex. There would be an uproar of women calling him an abuser.
The sex will come when she feels loved. Sex is often more important for men, but unfortunately it won’t happen unless there’s a strong bond between both of them (a decrease in libido in women can also happen for other reasons like a hormonal imbalance). The solution is simple, they need to spend quality time together and build that bond, build the trust. This situation is unfortunately very common in heterosexual relationships. The man becomes very frustrated when his wife won’t have sex with him, but even if she did it would come from a bad place of feeling forced to. That’s how martial rape can happen
Sex isn't a love language
I also like how men sound sound like monsters when they threaten to end a relationship but women don’t
I guess because of size, and physical strength… but ultimately, naturally and otherwise, this is a Man’s world… it will take a lot for the more vulnerable beings to be seen as threatening to the more powerful ones.
@@murasakinomorado7210but what does that have to do with threatening to leave a relationship? Your examples seem irrelevant to the actual question.
It's the reasons. Leaving cos someone won't let you have sex with them is actually crazy
@@shoozu not really. Isn't that how a shit ton of relationships end up collapsing? One partner is unsatisfied with the other, leading to them stepping out of the relationship either physically or emotionally. Sometimes both. It's really just the crude way the guy went about saying this stuff that makes it toxic instead of healthy communication.
@@bluewolf619125 yeah of course lots of relationships break down for different reasons. I'm saying the notion of wanting to have sex with someone 'at your command' or you'll leave, and calling it a love language when it's not is insanity. All of the language he used around it is crazy. His problem is really nothing to do with that specific relationship with her breaking down. If he believes it's normal well-balanced behaviour to give a romantic partner 0 affection outside of sex, he'll continue to do it in every relationship and have the same issue. Even if he meets someone with a high sex drive, being affectionate and loving doesn't seem to come natural to him and he'd rather leave than work on it 😵💫 I've seen this play out a few times but worse because they had a kid. Now the kid has no father figure because his dad put 🍑😺 before being a loving fiance. People who can only show love through sex don't typically have real platonic friendships and don't know how to show love to their kids. I truly wish men would just grow up and go to therapy because it's getting scary.
Sex should never be emotionally forced. That is not even legal.
LEAVE
These girls are too annoying - how many more episodes with them?!
Fuhad you can give me all the quality time and gifts you wantttttt ☺☺
But I want her to leave him because it seems like from the information, he is not giving her her love language which would make her give him his.
How do you just try to choose your partner's love language?
Reverse it and you guys will call the man weak for not reciprocating her woman love language which is sex 14 times a week
The double standards in this comment section is crazy
Yall should shh shh it
This dude is whacked. 14 times a week? Dude, literally no one with a functional life and responsibilities has time for that.
He’s also manipulative af. If he spent half as much trying to help her out, nurture her and give the love language she wants to receive, maybe he wouldn’t have to waste so much energy being manipulative and lazy to get what he wants.
Read this back to yourself bro. wtf
so she can withold sex but still expects lovey dovey behavior.... like why do we not talk about the both of them needing to show up for each other.... shes not doing her part and hes not doing his they both are at fault.
Weaponise sex as a mean of control. Not uncommon when a women gets security through marriage
Lovey dovey behaviour is the basics in a relationship. Sex too often can be taxing on the body, and if you're not fully in the mood cos you don't feel loved it can hurt. Or as she said, she feels just like a body to have sex with. Worst feeling.
Many men consider sex a basic necessity in a relationship… bc if not then we are just roommates…. Honestly I feel both ppl are being selfish as a guy I don’t always feel like being lovey dovey and listening to her crappy stories but I do it bc I love her and on the other side I’m sure she dosent feel like having sex all the times I ask but she does it bc she loves me… a relationship is team work both sides have to show up even when you don’t want to that’s what you signed up for
@@williereese6200 @williereese6200 It doesn't matter what men/women consider a basic necessity. The foundation is lovey dovey stuff. Unless you met them as a sex worker, and jumped straight in to bed, the basics are the things you do on dates and in the talking stage. Flirting, kissing, complimenting, listening to their stories and being generally interested in them. The sex should be secondary, and realistically should come when you're comfortable since you're literally in your most vulnerable state. Comparing the two is honestly insane. Sex isn't a lovely langauge. Love languages usually come things that were either over nurtured or neglected in childhood. Physical touch as a language is actually more about hugs, connection and safety in someone's arms. Basically what James described. He just has a high sex drive which is fair enough, but acting like it's an equally balanced give and take thing is nuts.
why is sex conditional?
🤣second
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
It would be interesting hearing the guys point of you cause sounds like it was exaggerated to make it sound more malicious. Many sexless marriages start like this where at the beginning there was a lot of sex. Then wants the female gets her security she withholds it to weaponise it against the guy
second😂
first
Second
Fifth
If he’s taking care of the house and doing his manly duties then she should do hers
He should get a fuck buddy not a partner
Second