Life's too short to waste time. And have a heart to not waste someone else's either. One man's "I'm not ready yet" is someone else's "I knew when I first met her". Meet lots of people as purely friends, with no motives. The one you feel most at ease with and natural, who's fun, yet charming to you, compatible values, admirable to each other, yet challenges you spiritually and keeps you on your toes in a way, the healthy balance- like a dance- yeah 😊. Do your research, make sure they're a man of character by others who know him. Then you'll be able to make the right choice, with God's help. If he truly likes you, he'll let you know. If not, he won't. Shouldn't be too complicated. If it is, that's prob not the way you want to live- with a complicated person who doesn't know their own mind, esp not if he's supposed to be the leader.
Sinéad Torres , yes. In addition to all of that - statistical reality is that women are more interested in men who seem high value by being more in demand . Narrator also completely ignores Briffault’s law- which is basically that women decide whether and when a relationship exists .
I don't know about the more in demand part. I'm beginning to realize it's the not so obvious, obscure gentlemen that are the best, bc they're not so attention-hungry and needing to flirt all over the place with every woman they meet. The awkward men are the best bc then you know they haven't been around the block a bunch. Someone sacred is someone worth waiting for. And I pray for strength and wisdom to know who that is when it happens. At this point, it would be like bumping into a needle in a haystack, and that's ok. I give up, I'll just leave it to God at this point. He knows everything and everyone besides.
Sinéad Torres we make it so complicated. it's so simple. I mean it really is. the problem is people make themselves their own God and don't let Him be God! preach!
Sinéad Torres in a perfect world, yes. In our broken world , women are statistically more attracted to men whose feelings for them are not clear . While you’re correct in theory, you’d have to be quite conscious of who you’re attracted to and why etc
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger ya even if there is evidence then unless that person is at the stage of life that they are searching for committed relationship don't wait around with some wishy washy idea they will change. It's so much easier to figure these things out when you communicate with the person as well
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Point 5 especially. I keep thinking about the “what if’s” and hoping something would get better but it’s been staying in the same place for like a month. It’s confusing me and hurting my heart and it’s all I think about to the point I know it isn’t healthy. So thank you God bless everyone
I wish someone could have spelled it out like this years ago when my biggest hope was marriage and children. I know God can decide to use me as a mother at any time and age, but physically, that season is waning for me now, and I'm truly ready and at peace about it. Honestly, that's been the biggest struggle with not finding "the one". I've been told my whole life to sit back and wait, be happy being single, etc etc. And while I have, it always grated on me that these people telling me this were married, and married at young ages most of the time. However, I'm blessed to hear it now. Thank you. I love your channel for many of your different topics, and so I really only watched this one because I was academically intrigued... but maybe I'll put this into practice. God bless. This is a very good thing your doing. ❤
I think women need to let the guy know that they want to see them more. Reach out and If the guy is still not initiating, then there is no interest there and you need to move on. A guy might be confused too. He might have someone else in his life drawing his interest from you. Don't fight it! Don't even feel bad about it because that guy might have met his future wife in that other person. Then you know he is not intended for you. There is a specific person for you. The bible even mentions our names being written in the book of life before we were born. So, those people have to be born and their parents have to be married to have those children mentioned. God is sovereign in all things. Those events have to play out and those people have to meet. Nothing can stop it. Be praying and asking the Lord about your spouse and what you need to do to be ready for them. Pray and be humble. Never assume, God is much bigger than that and many times later on in life you will be floored at what he was doing. Pray even more after you meet that person.
BADBONEZTHLEGND , yes . Men approach women continually. Think of even harsh traditional expectations of attractiveness and know that a 5’2” 250 lb woman may well have attracted an alpha male over 6’ and athletic etc . This doesn’t mean they had good intentions, though and there are great Godly men who don’t look like Chad, Tyrone or Antonio. Most of these men have been repeatedly rejected and may not approach you .
BADBONEZTHLEGND not placing fault by being honest about societal standards which are not equal. If any fault , it’s feminism. Nobody’s going to tell you much of what you need to know going into relationships as a man . Even Christian pre marital classes are slanted towards feminism. You’ll basically be told that you’re full of sexual desires like a beast and that you’ll need to contain them , you’ve surely been to that point by now . Pre marital , you’ll be told much about respecting your wife and understanding her, listening to her and giving her space when she’s had bad day , tired , bad mood , disinterested, busy with other things, upset with you etc . It’s expected that you , though will be a lover ready to go at anytime your wife desires . If you’re not , and you have no medical reason ( Erectile Dysfunction,Low testosterone etc ) then You are either unfaithful and or watching porn .
Amen, I am 31 and I wish I saw this video between 20-24 because I wasted time with guys. Now at 25 God sent me someone and told me to wait on him and he still has me waiting on him for this miracle he is bringing together with the one he has for me. During the time of waiting he prepared me, made me fight the good fight if faith, I wrestled with the devil and God tested my patience. I was faithful and I know he is too. The flesh vs. the spirit is real but I know God's promise and I know I will be happy I waited. It was and still not easy but this is God's work unfolding.
The devil will tell us to wait for a man as well. I hoped to marry my flaky boyfriend for 4 years. The thing was he pursued me. He was talking love and marriage. He was a liar. So y'all be careful because a man could say he loves you and string you along for YEARS.
I almost let him go after more than 10 years but then he told me his true feelings and we are together 😊 it was worth the wait. God knew i wanted that solid friendship foundation first ❤
I once had a crazy crush on an usher at church. We would exchange looks all the time. I literally prayed to ask God to not let me feel things for him I cried so hard one day (never even spoken to him yet). God also revealed his name to me (I thought I heard wrong at the time though). Skip to a year later I invited my ex to church and he’s very friendly and introduced himself to the guy and I had confirmation on the guys name from a few months earlier and was so shocked. It turned out he was engaged to another girl who kind of looked like me lol but then it fell apart and I always feel like he wasn’t really listening to God as he should e pursued me so I dodged a bullet in a sense. Moral of the story is trust God in EVERYTHING. I keep meeting beautiful young men who just aren’t Christian and having to tell them no but I trust that the right one will come and he will love Jesus already.
I will just put this out there. “ Tell him you are into him and the rest is up to him.A Good christian guy will not judge you be and cut you off. God gives love and believing in him makes everything better. And Ladies once you tell a guy you like him,they will always think about it and process it regardless.If God put it for you,it will always be yours. Pray about it!
Mark has become a role model and a guy to look up to when it comes to being a gentleman and a servant of God.. this video speaks so many truth, I am currently single but my heart belongs to my kids mother and with god’s grace I hope one day we both serve god and reconnect to become a wholesome family serving god.
Thank you Mark, I got it now, I wasted so much time holding on waiting for this man to pursuit me and he never did, I held on for 5years like Rachel and after waiting for so long and every time they came around it was never for me, how stupid I was, however, now I got it and it’s been almost 2years since I’ve moved on, and what a great feeling, I have learn to love myself more, stay focus and continue to keep serving God, I thank you Mark I got it now, he never liked me I guess I wanted him to, again I got it now, and I have moved on never looked back since, meanwhile, wait on God again. God Bless
Hey AGW, yeah i could relate to some parts of that video...I am Definitely the extreme type, it takes over for sure.I am much happier now, I departed from the uncertainty, because it was taking over, and causing hurt.....I really became honest with myself, and realise I aint ready, God needs to first be my all, he wasn't at the time, now I am enjoying just "me and Him" time :)
Wow, a very powerful and righteous message.I say you personally have to tell the person. You don't let a person know don't get mad, jealous or any tasteless actions.when that person go's with someone else. Thats a choice you made.They have a right to be happy as well. No one should be choosing anyone for you. Thats between you and her. Alot of men1 are afraid to say something. Guess what change that around and be afraid not to say something. Cause then you might dee something that you could of avoidThat person could even decided to stay with that person. There isn't a hope for a chance any more. That's why we have to pray for courage for mens. some man just have to man up. So prayers for that as well.That God would help them straighten them out.God bless you🍂🍂🍂
Can you do a video on women being extreme with the unknown, I find it so hard in the wait in terms of this issue that sometimes messes with my confidence... I felt like when I was in the world I could get any man that I was attracted to meaning he always felt the same way I did but now that I’m saved and I’m waiting to be found it sometimes feels like torture when there are Godly men I may be interested in but they may not feel the same exactly or they engage but do not continue
@@broco6608 I've made a commitment to be celibate and I'd like to think the man I marry has too. It's not easy, admittedly but if we can't get this right..seriously, what does it say about our relationship with God? It's Christianity 101!!
Anna.. keep your heart open to the Lord above all. He is sovereign. Remember... He knows your heart and chose to redeem you. Trust Him in this area. If he clothes the birds of the field.. He can bring you your person.
Thanks Mark for the great video. This was what I was thinking about today. I am super passive and haven't even spoken to him yet. My fear and anxiety have made me miss a couple of chances. I need prayer and therapy.
I wish I could pursue this beautiful girl at my church... I’ve been single for nine months, coming out of a very toxic relationship, and I know I’m ready to be in a relationship. But I know God has a plan and a promise.
I’m going through the same thing was in an abusive relationship. Been talking to someone online that seems really interesting but trying to just sit back and let God take control instead of me taking control. I’m always hearing “let the guy lead” so I’m letting him lead but I think I’m not really asking him any questions to show I’m interested but I am. 🤷♀️ Hope it works out for you though Lou. Did you move on are are you still interested in her?
Hey, I’m sorry you were in a toxic relationship. I hope you don’t let the past hurts. Stop you from experiencing something beautiful in your future. You said that you’re ready for a relationship so I it seems like you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and I hope you’ll pursue her. As a female, we really appreciate that.
Hi! I’m waiting because God gave me signs when I asked Him for it. The man I like is in r church and he indeed acts weird when I’m around (so I was told by some people). And I’ve noticed that he behaves different with me...that extra mile, I mean. He seems a genuine fellow! And many times we end up looking in each other’s direction very often in church and it’s cute, little embarrassing too! 😅😅 But he’s pretty senior to me... so I feel that he feels lil weird or he hesitates to talk to a girl 10 yrs younger to him! Plus, I’m that “godly girl” in the church n college according to people. So, I wonder if he thinks that I don’t talk about anything but God God n God...!
The guy I like was widowed last fall after a very committed marriage. I have texted him occasionally to check in plus a group of us get together about once month to eat out. This man makes a point of sitting next to me when we eat out. I really don't know him that well so I am using these outings to learn more about him. His late wife was a work friend of our group and she regularly invited me to go out to eat with them when she was alive. He is a great guy and is fun to be around. I also had invited him to our company holiday party and he jumped at the chance to attend. It was my first time having a man accept one of my invitations, ever. He was also excited to let others know that I had invited him to the party. Things have calmed down a bit but I believe that he is using this time to get to know each of the ladies in our group better while getting past the loss of his wife.
I used to text a guy trying to feel him out. He would never text me back to start conversation but would talk to me at church but then I found out he was dating other girls. So I quit talking to him but then he seemed offended that I wasn't interested in him anymore.
If you drop hints and you smile and seem intrested in a tentative whenever he talks then he probably knows you are intrested. Also if there are group events and you ask him if he is going to be there he will know. You can even take it a step further and say "I hope I see you there". At that point every man and the universe will know you are intrested. If he does not pursue then he is not intrested at that point.
Why would a guy invite me to social events with him and then he doesn't show up? I met a guy who did this so many times I gave up on him and actually left the church so that I wouldn't bump into him at church which would give him yet another chance at inviting me to an event. To this day I can't figure out what the heck he was thinking.
@@lynnv8501 That's a weirdo is what that is. Lol I know people decide not to go places the last minute sometimes cause they don't feel like it. But it could be a bunch of different things anywhere from he was nervous to talk to you and chickened out which doesn't sound like much of a man to me but regardless of the reason that's just goofy weird. I presume that you're asking me because you never asked him lol I would definitely have confronted that person even if just in a silly way to get an answer. Also, you should typically not allow anything in the natural to keep you from where God tells you to go. Make sure you hear from God where to go to church and if you can't hear from God yet then make sure you find a church that you can grow and learn to hear his voice! ;)
@@i-primeproductions1517 Thank you for responding! I appreciate it because my closest girl-friends don't know what to think of his behavior either, and the mystery of it all confuses me. After he didn't show up to about 5 events I realized he had issues. I had just never had a guy treat me like this. I did finally go back to the same church, just a different day of the week, and to an all-women group.
@@lynnv8501 Well I'm so glad that didn't keep you from your church. My advice is don't spend another moment worrying about it. Also, you have nothing to be ashamed about but perhaps he does so I wouldn't worry about seeing him but would also not pursue a relationship of any kind with him.
I have been friends with a guy for 8 years and I have told him in the past that I liked him twice and both times, he pushed me away and it was painful but I decided to move on and continue to be his friend. There was one time that he hung out with me and my best friend at the pool at my sister’s apartment. Later that evening, he told me that he wanted to kiss me really bad when we are at the pool and I was like whoa 😯 And I asked why? You pushed me away when I told you how I felt and then he said he wanted to kiss me to see if he feels the same way 🤷🏽♀️ So long story short, we had a very long talk at his apartment and he told me that he liked me and he is attracted to me and he said he is trying so hard not to hold me in his arms and kiss me and he didn’t the rest of the night but he had the “look” in his eyes anytime he looked at me which I have never seen before. He said he wants us to do this God’s way but another thing he said was he is scared of ruining our friendship if we date and it doesn’t work out!! So I think that I shouldn’t wait on him to take a risk and date me bcos I feel like I shouldn’t waste my time. Any advice Mark?
I was divorced for 14 years, a male I had know for 23 yrs, who had never married came back into my life. We both love the LORD, and decided to wait for marraige due to obstacles..debt and loose ends that needed to be sdjusted Unfortunately, I believe the desire fizzled on his end. Now, we're just friends in the Lord.
This happens to me all the time as a Christian man around women I want to date. He probably perceives you as a 9/10 or out of his league at the moment (taking into consideration money status personality and looks). He may not be simping or putting you on a pedestal but might not be in the over 6ft/6 figure/6 inches category that modern women desire so he retracts due to being a diligent planner as the bible says. Men want to be a good provider but most men out themselves because they don’t make enough money. One of the problems most men have is satisfying hypergamy but being separate from the high Worldly standards that 90% of modern women share.
@@Cross.Ministry Hi, Kale. Thank you for your input. The thing is, I really do like the guy. However, both of us have left the church and moved to different things. I believe he currently live in a different state. My prayer is that God would bring both of us together if it is His will. I never stopped thinking and praying for him even after I left the church early 2019.
@@daphneephilemon7895 Continue to pray but know that God is in control and He is good and faithful. Seasons of singleness are gifts so we can mold our characters and submit even more to God. I think the most attractive qualities in a women is respectful, modest, and separate from the Worldy girls. Like yourself when I’m at church, I see all these women that I want to talk to (and I would say I’m an attractive male that a Christian women would be blessed to have) but I retract because most of these women dress “up” into a league which I cannot satisfy (even managing and stewarding diligently what God provides in my life). I don’t feel like I can satisfy their needs (their love being conditional to what I provide) but my hope is that a Godly women will come along can see me as the Lord sees me: Joseph in the pit/jail is the same Joseph second to Pharaoh with money and status part. So right now see myself as being invisible to these women but trust Gods timing and to know my wife will be equally yoked. Haha sorry I’m rambling my problems hahaha
@@Cross.Ministry Wow. I have always felt God blind the eyes of the wrong men so they don’t come near me. When I pray to God about my husband, I prayed he would be a man who truly love the Lord, a man I can pray with, and do ministry with, and a man who would have the characteristics of Jesus Christ. I definitely think a real man of God would want his wife to be to look set apart and be set apart for God’s greater purpose.
nofy bn I mean... if he knows you like him and he doesn’t do anything, it means he don’t try to pursue you maybe because he doesn’t know you and doesn’t know if you could match with him. So try to show who you are but ask god if it’s the true man for you before doing anything. And after all your efforts if he doesn’t do anything, don’t go further. God will give you someone who cares about you and will engage with you and give you peace but don’t try to pursue a man. God will provide the one who will give you peace. The one God wants for you will go to you. It won’t take away your peace. So don’t search someone beaucause God will provide at the good Time, trust him and pray « But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. » Matthew 6:33.
I need to move on. I have been "loyal" for a guy that only let me cues and riddles. No settling anymore. I want a godly man since I am a godly woman and I want to glorify God. Thank you brother!
@Addison Amit exactly, same here. I just want to be loved, accepted, and wanted. I need to focus on getting my life together in order and learn something like go back to School and follow my plans that I have laid out for myself.
Can you please please do a video on during a separation in marriage how to know if we should wait for our spouse to come back or to divorce even if they are not interested in getting back together at the time
Don't wait, work and live your life. God will do it. If you're thinking about it, he's not assertive enough for you. But I have been guilty of waiting 🙄 ps - never invite a guy, ( way too obvious) men are hunters, they will pursue if truly interested.
Yes. Me too❤️🙏🏾 God will send them in HIS timing. I believe sometimes we aren’t even aware of what he’s doing right in front of us. But it’s for his glory and ultimate plan for our lives. He knows the way.
Don’t wait. Get out there and connect with the people God brings your way. No guy is worth it unless he is making time and space for you. If God wants you together, God will open His eyes. Why not embrace your life in the mean time?
I have found at my church that some married Christian men don't wear wedding rings. So it is more challenging for me to invite a man to pursue me, when I don't know if he is single. But I won't give up. I feel like God is telling me I will meet him in the next 4 months. I have been waiting 7 months already, since He first told me I am getting married in 2024. I will keep trusting His timing
Don’t wait…..focus on yourself. A marriage can be an important desire, however, don’t obsess and make it your number 1 priority. What is for you will have no choice but to hit you head on😂. I have other things on my priority list.
I have to say that I agree with you on every AGW video that I've seen but on this one I have to disagree I do apologize. But I know that as soon as a female ask a guy to go out to do some type of activity then they will assume that she's being too aggressive and have killed the chase for them
So, I disagree with his advice of inviting a guy. Ladies, that's really pursuing him. Don't invite him. Please don't. If you want to guard your heart, don't follow that advice. But, he's right in saying that we don't have to be passive. Smile and say hello. That's how you can gauge if he's interested. If he is, he'll step up and make it known. Hoping that men will find the courage to step up when they're interested.
Dionnea Seals You took the words right out of my mouth! That is exactly what I’ve told my daughters and they know better than to pull this ‘inviting’ him ... it’s the other way around. I do agree with all the other points though
@@missmaedeut3210 so sorry about the late response. I don't think a friendly follow is bad. However, is your heart prepared if he's showing interest in someone else and makes it known on social media? Just something to think about. But if you know how to manage your emotions...have a friendly follow. Emphasis on friend...until he makes his interest known.
He keeps saying to me “we’re almost there” and he gave me a 10 carat yellow diamond ring , he says he has to abide what God is gonna so next..:then later he gets upset and texts me mean words...it hurts. But I don’t say back mean words to him, but maybe because he’s got so much going on..he’s a Pastor and prays for the sick and dying, the lost and hurting; the homeless. We used to minister together on the streets...I think he’s stressing because of his big responsibility. I think this is helping me... He does care about me, he loves me. I serve God everyday, I minister and serve God. It jus that he’s ..I don’t know..it seems like he’s not opening up to me...discernments
How many months is a few months? I think I know I should move on because it's messing with my emotions and there is no reciprocation when I tried initiating (definitively not chasing because I'm too shy to do it) but I am having a hard time completely letting go of the "what ifs".
I left it ambiguous on purpose bc I don't think there is a one size fits all answer. But it sounds like you know it's time. It's helpful to remember God's sovereignty. If you seek to obey him he won't let you miss his will.
For me and this guy, it’s complicated and a long story and started good and we got confirmation and then messed up and now i feel like we know what we want but he doesn’t want to mess up again.. but i feel like he’s going by how he feels in the moment and I’m feeling like God isn’t telling me to move on yet.. like there is so much that God has told us and told me and God just keeps saying, go back to what i first told you… idk.. i don’t want to waste my time but at the same time I feel like i know what it is it’s just he is scared to walk into it completely or start over because he doesn’t want us to mess up again. & our walks with God are solid as well. We repented and grew and didn’t talk for a while but when we do talk, it’s not awkward.. idk
I've been going to a new church and there's one single guy there he seems nice he made a move and talked to me a little and after that nothing happened now what do I do? What's the next step its confusing.
Nancy Cossident Next time at church, casually go over and say "hello" and ask how he's doing. If he keeps the conversation going, he may be interested. By going to talk to him, it lets him know that you're open to conversation. After that it is his turn to make a move to pursue you. Good luck.
Chloe Kim It is possible and if the woman he likes is interested as well, she should engage him in light-hearted conversation first. This gives him the signal that she's open to talking with him. She can even invite him to a group event. We have to remember that guys don't like rejection either so maybe he needs a little nudge from her that she's interested in getting to know him. But at some point, he will have to pursue her. Good luck.
T Regis i would disagree to a point. If the guy likes a gal but feels she would logically not accept him for any particular reason, it would be reasonable to not ask her out as he knows his emotions could be misleading him. You can have emotions, just never trust them they will betray you any chance they get. Most circumstances will never change no matter how you feel. They change based on events. I can be waiting for a customer to load my trailer at the dock and regardless of whether i am happy or angry they will not load me any faster. “There is a way that feels right unto a man but the end there of leads to death”. Just because a guy might be interested in a gal in no excuse to pursue. Instead wait, observe and see if there is anything to indicate a reason not to. Then if there are no obvious issues strike up a conversation THEN see if there is potential worth pursuing. If there is then i would do so over time. Never trust an emotional impulse Love is like trust. IT IS EARNED over time and should never be given away. The “time” in question ( to ask her out so to speak)could be a few weeks or months(2--3) Just don’t rely on emotions alone. They can guide, but never let them control.
Yeah but sometimes we’re just to scared to say anything, loosing friends is a fear of mine. I won’t ever do something, I’ll wait for her to come to me which chances are won’t happen.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. You have nothing to loose but could gain some experience in how to man up.
So there's this guy at church that started coming after Covid let up. He's quiet and doesn't go up to people besides our seniors. He's been chatting with my dad and just once walking out to cars he said something. I can see the intent, but its not mutual. Do you have a video on that?
If a guy acting different around you is this: he is really happy and talkative to everyone else but you! When you are around he says absolutley nothing, minor small talk occasionally but not engaging into full conversation (but still looking/staring), then what does that mean? 😂
Eevu he may like you bc I have a crush on someone right now and that's how I act with them. When they come around I get super nervous and shut down. #soseventhgrade
Thanks for the comments 😊 I act like a 7th grader myself sometimes too LOL! And might give the idea I couldn't care less of a guy I'd actually like to get to know better haha! Pretty sad 😂
Magie Sam Someone actually told me they think he has really high respect for me and is kind of intimidated. Don't know about that though. I've just though he has no intrest but it might not always be the case. And guys are sometimes insecure too. They don't always come and talk to the person they're interested in, that I have noticed. It might sometimes be really the opposite.
I want to ask her out, but I am actually terrified. I do not think that she likes me although we are quite awkward around each other. She sometime ignores me outright but would reach out if she needs something. I am not really sure what to think here.
There are really many more eligible Christian people out there than you can imagine if you live in the US. I think that the ultimate way to find a spouse is to go do things in groups. This gets rid of the tensions of one on one and you can get the feel feel or hint at all people in the entire group. Someone might be a friend of one of the women in your group, maybe a sister or cousin. The same goes for guys, they might have a friend or brother that you have no clue on. We need to spend time together Christian people!!! Even older people at church might play match maker and introduce you to their granddaughter or grandson.
Maybe all the singles here need to form an AGW christian singles group and get to mingle .. it'd be fun I guess since we are across boarders and continents....who knows wat might happen when we widen our scopes? #justthinking!
Is there any biblical backing for the "boy pursues girl" concept?? Is there some reason it can't be mutually ,and equally spontaneous event? Have we allowed a figure of speech to evolve into some kind of ritual?
This one was a tough one bc the guy I’ve liked, he told me he’s waited for me to come around for almost 6 years but when I finally did, he backed off and got too “busy”. He’s always checking my social media and he’ll text me a lot but hasn’t been coming around the way he told me wanted me to. Unfortunately, it’s been a year of this back and forth.
The hard truth is they are NOT PURSUING in general. They are simply not. It is not that they are not pursuing me...they are not pursuing ANYONE. The men in their 40s seems so broken that they cannot find the strength to pursue.
In one way, lawyers ruined it. Guys know the risk of divorce and the ex taking EVERYTHING he worked for. Even for an example a house or property in his name before the marriage. A corrupt court can destroy him. So common sense prevails here. Why pursue someone when the end result will likely result in its loss? Never invest time or money into an outcome you know you will never afford to keep. Too much risk. Not worth pursuing.. A friend in church asked me why i never got married or had kids as him and his wife had three. I told him since my job only pays my bills and nothing more, it was unwise to invest money in a wife and kids i know i will never be able to afford as doing do would be extremely stupid and foolish. After all as the husband i am responsible to provide for them and she manages the kids and home with me. It is my responsibility to provide. Since I cannot afford to provide for a wife and kids, no point in even dating until i can afford to do that.” He said that if he thought like i did by waiting until he could afford to get married, he never would have gotten married in the first place. 2 years later he had an affair and divorced his wife and left. High taxes, cost of living, feminism, corrupt courts, and lawyers destroyed many guys hopes of a wife and kids. Unfortunately now days common sense is to avoid that all together. Its more affordable.
You wonder why men in their 40s are broken? Steve K gives one such example in his comment in this thread. I had dated lots of women when I was in my 40s & most of those women were broken, many were total emotional wrecks. They tried to hide it at first but it soon became apparent that their emotional volatility were huge red flags. Run Forrest, run! That’s what happens when there is an absence of Christ. We are all broken to a point, some more than others. If there’s a life to be had avoiding anxiety then NOT PURSUING a romantic relationship is one way of leading a peaceful and serene life. There are pros and cons to any lifestyle choice however, the freedom of being single is liberating.
istvanski if you are going to stay single then you never get to have sex again. That is the rule. Either follow it or recognize that you are in rebellion and repent. If you burn with lust you are to marry
Life's too short to waste time. And have a heart to not waste someone else's either.
One man's "I'm not ready yet" is someone else's "I knew when I first met her".
Meet lots of people as purely friends, with no motives. The one you feel most at ease with and natural, who's fun, yet charming to you, compatible values, admirable to each other, yet challenges you spiritually and keeps you on your toes in a way, the healthy balance- like a dance- yeah 😊. Do your research, make sure they're a man of character by others who know him. Then you'll be able to make the right choice, with God's help.
If he truly likes you, he'll let you know. If not, he won't. Shouldn't be too complicated. If it is, that's prob not the way you want to live- with a complicated person who doesn't know their own mind, esp not if he's supposed to be the leader.
Sinéad Torres , yes. In addition to all of that - statistical reality is that women are more interested in men who seem high value by being more in demand . Narrator also completely ignores Briffault’s law- which is basically that women decide whether and when a relationship exists .
I don't know about the more in demand part. I'm beginning to realize it's the not so obvious, obscure gentlemen that are the best, bc they're not so attention-hungry and needing to flirt all over the place with every woman they meet. The awkward men are the best bc then you know they haven't been around the block a bunch. Someone sacred is someone worth waiting for. And I pray for strength and wisdom to know who that is when it happens. At this point, it would be like bumping into a needle in a haystack, and that's ok. I give up, I'll just leave it to God at this point. He knows everything and everyone besides.
Sinéad Torres we make it so complicated. it's so simple. I mean it really is. the problem is people make themselves their own God and don't let Him be God! preach!
Such wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing! 😊
Sinéad Torres in a perfect world, yes. In our broken world , women are statistically more attracted to men whose feelings for them are not clear . While you’re correct in theory, you’d have to be quite conscious of who you’re attracted to and why etc
Be still, believe and wait, you will know!
Don't wait around for someone you know wouldn't wait for you.
I agree, Mary Swenson, if there's no evidence then no waiting is best
ApplyGodsWord.com/Mark Ballenger ya even if there is evidence then unless that person is at the stage of life that they are searching for committed relationship don't wait around with some wishy washy idea they will change. It's so much easier to figure these things out when you communicate with the person as well
Exactly! 😃🙌
Amen!
Mary Swenson Please pray for me to be able to move on completely from my wishy washy ex fiancé...At least for now.
Single but emotionally taken :)
Same here sister
How so,
What do you mean by this?
Never heard it said better🙌🏾
@@mariahconklin4150 it's literally waiting for the man to make a move/commit.
Good advice, guys needs to pursue but nothing wrong with initiating.
Kevin B 👍
Thanks for the advice God bless
👍
I think it is equal parts a girl pursuing a guy as they are both adults.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. Point 5 especially. I keep thinking about the “what if’s” and hoping something would get better but it’s been staying in the same place for like a month. It’s confusing me and hurting my heart and it’s all I think about to the point I know it isn’t healthy.
So thank you
God bless everyone
I wish someone could have spelled it out like this years ago when my biggest hope was marriage and children. I know God can decide to use me as a mother at any time and age, but physically, that season is waning for me now, and I'm truly ready and at peace about it. Honestly, that's been the biggest struggle with not finding "the one". I've been told my whole life to sit back and wait, be happy being single, etc etc. And while I have, it always grated on me that these people telling me this were married, and married at young ages most of the time. However, I'm blessed to hear it now. Thank you. I love your channel for many of your different topics, and so I really only watched this one because I was academically intrigued... but maybe I'll put this into practice. God bless. This is a very good thing your doing. ❤
I think women need to let the guy know that they want to see them more. Reach out and If the guy is still not initiating, then there is no interest there and you need to move on. A guy might be confused too. He might have someone else in his life drawing his interest from you. Don't fight it! Don't even feel bad about it because that guy might have met his future wife in that other person. Then you know he is not intended for you. There is a specific person for you. The bible even mentions our names being written in the book of life before we were born. So, those people have to be born and their parents have to be married to have those children mentioned. God is sovereign in all things. Those events have to play out and those people have to meet. Nothing can stop it. Be praying and asking the Lord about your spouse and what you need to do to be ready for them. Pray and be humble. Never assume, God is much bigger than that and many times later on in life you will be floored at what he was doing. Pray even more after you meet that person.
JR G in other words the girl makes the first move? Why can't the guy be the one reaching out?? If that is your mentality I am worried
Just leave it with God and do what you have to do. Be open to God and not the flakiness of people's messages.
BADBONEZTHLEGND , yes . Men approach women continually. Think of even harsh traditional expectations of attractiveness and know that a 5’2” 250 lb woman may well have attracted an alpha male over 6’ and athletic etc . This doesn’t mean they had good intentions, though and there are great Godly men who don’t look like Chad, Tyrone or Antonio. Most of these men have been repeatedly rejected and may not approach you .
BADBONEZTHLEGND not placing fault by being honest about societal standards which are not equal. If any fault , it’s feminism.
Nobody’s going to tell you much of what you need to know going into relationships as a man . Even Christian pre marital classes are slanted towards feminism. You’ll basically be told that you’re full of sexual desires like a beast and that you’ll need to contain them , you’ve surely been to that point by now .
Pre marital , you’ll be told much about respecting your wife and understanding her, listening to her and giving her space when she’s had bad day , tired , bad mood , disinterested, busy with other things, upset with you etc . It’s expected that you , though will be a lover ready to go at anytime your wife desires . If you’re not , and you have no medical reason ( Erectile Dysfunction,Low testosterone etc ) then You are either unfaithful and or watching porn .
Amen, I am 31 and I wish I saw this video between 20-24 because I wasted time with guys. Now at 25 God sent me someone and told me to wait on him and he still has me waiting on him for this miracle he is bringing together with the one he has for me.
During the time of waiting he prepared me, made me fight the good fight if faith, I wrestled with the devil and God tested my patience. I was faithful and I know he is too. The flesh vs. the spirit is real but I know God's promise and I know I will be happy I waited. It was and still not easy but this is God's work unfolding.
I'm curious... What happened to your story? Did you end up with the man you are speaking of here?
The devil will tell us to wait for a man as well. I hoped to marry my flaky boyfriend for 4 years. The thing was he pursued me. He was talking love and marriage. He was a liar. So y'all be careful because a man could say he loves you and string you along for YEARS.
INVITE!!! Thank you! It’s the perfect word to get the edge off the uneasiness of pursuit
I almost let him go after more than 10 years but then he told me his true feelings and we are together 😊 it was worth the wait. God knew i wanted that solid friendship foundation first ❤
Such good timing again! Thank you!!
Rachel Figueroa 👍
I once had a crazy crush on an usher at church. We would exchange looks all the time. I literally prayed to ask God to not let me feel things for him I cried so hard one day (never even spoken to him yet). God also revealed his name to me (I thought I heard wrong at the time though). Skip to a year later I invited my ex to church and he’s very friendly and introduced himself to the guy and I had confirmation on the guys name from a few months earlier and was so shocked. It turned out he was engaged to another girl who kind of looked like me lol but then it fell apart and I always feel like he wasn’t really listening to God as he should e pursued me so I dodged a bullet in a sense. Moral of the story is trust God in EVERYTHING. I keep meeting beautiful young men who just aren’t Christian and having to tell them no but I trust that the right one will come and he will love Jesus already.
I will just put this out there. “ Tell him you are into him and the rest is up to him.A Good christian guy will not judge you be and cut you off. God gives love and believing in him makes everything better. And Ladies once you tell a guy you like him,they will always think about it and process it regardless.If God put it for you,it will always be yours. Pray about it!
They usually get turned off when a girl says that
This is good stuff for us Christian single women to know!! Thank you!
Mark has become a role model and a guy to look up to when it comes to being a gentleman and a servant of God.. this video speaks so many truth, I am currently single but my heart belongs to my kids mother and with god’s grace I hope one day we both serve god and reconnect to become a wholesome family serving god.
God**
Thank you Mark, I got it now, I wasted so much time holding on waiting for this man to pursuit me and he never did, I held on for 5years like Rachel and after waiting for so long and every time they came around it was never for me, how stupid I was, however, now I got it and it’s been almost 2years since I’ve moved on, and what a great feeling, I have learn to love myself more, stay focus and continue to keep serving God, I thank you Mark I got it now, he never liked me I guess I wanted him to, again I got it now, and I have moved on never looked back since, meanwhile, wait on God again. God Bless
Hey AGW, yeah i could relate to some parts of that video...I am Definitely the extreme type, it takes over for sure.I am much happier now, I departed from the uncertainty, because it was taking over, and causing hurt.....I really became honest with myself, and realise I aint ready, God needs to first be my all, he wasn't at the time, now I am enjoying just "me and Him" time :)
Amen Pan-Aggie, it's always best to seek God's timing :)
Still single and awaiting pursuit however emotionally occupied. Living on Hope, Trusting in the Lord.
Wow, a very powerful and righteous message.I say you personally have to tell the person. You don't let a person know don't get mad, jealous or any tasteless actions.when that person go's with someone else. Thats a choice you made.They have a right to be happy as well. No one should be choosing anyone for you. Thats between you and her. Alot of men1 are afraid to say something. Guess what change that around and be afraid not to say something. Cause then you might dee something that you could of avoidThat person could even decided to stay with that person. There isn't a hope for a chance any more. That's why we have to pray for courage for mens. some man just have to man up. So prayers for that as well.That God would help them straighten them out.God bless you🍂🍂🍂
Can you do a video on women being extreme with the unknown, I find it so hard in the wait in terms of this issue that sometimes messes with my confidence... I felt like when I was in the world I could get any man that I was attracted to meaning he always felt the same way I did but now that I’m saved and I’m waiting to be found it sometimes feels like torture when there are Godly men I may be interested in but they may not feel the same exactly or they engage but do not continue
@@broco6608 Real shame about Christian men not being celibate. If they can't get that right..geez
@@broco6608 I've made a commitment to be celibate and I'd like to think the man I marry has too. It's not easy, admittedly but if we can't get this right..seriously, what does it say about our relationship with God? It's Christianity 101!!
Anna.. keep your heart open to the Lord above all. He is sovereign. Remember... He knows your heart and chose to redeem you. Trust Him in this area. If he clothes the birds of the field.. He can bring you your person.
Thanks Mark for the great video. This was what I was thinking about today. I am super passive and haven't even spoken to him yet. My fear and anxiety have made me miss a couple of chances. I need prayer and therapy.
weenieboys 2, just prayed for you :)
Thank you! I have more peace now.
I wish I could pursue this beautiful girl at my church... I’ve been single for nine months, coming out of a very toxic relationship, and I know I’m ready to be in a relationship. But I know God has a plan and a promise.
Trauma from toxic relationship makes it hard to pursue a good person after that don't it
I’m going through the same thing was in an abusive relationship. Been talking to someone online that seems really interesting but trying to just sit back and let God take control instead of me taking control. I’m always hearing “let the guy lead” so I’m letting him lead but I think I’m not really asking him any questions to show I’m interested but I am. 🤷♀️
Hope it works out for you though Lou. Did you move on are are you still interested in her?
@@mikeypeinado383 exactly and if it’s both people who are toxic it’s even worse. 😞
Hey, I’m sorry you were in a toxic relationship. I hope you don’t let the past hurts. Stop you from experiencing something beautiful in your future. You said that you’re ready for a relationship so I it seems like you’ve done a lot of work on yourself and I hope you’ll pursue her. As a female, we really appreciate that.
Hi!
I’m waiting because God gave me signs when I asked Him for it. The man I like is in r church and he indeed acts weird when I’m around (so I was told by some people). And I’ve noticed that he behaves different with me...that extra mile, I mean. He seems a genuine fellow! And many times we end up looking in each other’s direction very often in church and it’s cute, little embarrassing too! 😅😅
But he’s pretty senior to me... so I feel that he feels lil weird or he hesitates to talk to a girl 10 yrs younger to him! Plus, I’m that “godly girl” in the church n college according to people. So, I wonder if he thinks that I don’t talk about anything but God God n God...!
Did he??
Some men are shy too. There's a guy in church who is on the shy side. But he always talks to me. But I'm older and know to be cautious.
The guy I like was widowed last fall after a very committed marriage. I have texted him occasionally to check in plus a group of us get together about once month to eat out. This man makes a point of sitting next to me when we eat out. I really don't know him that well so I am using these outings to learn more about him. His late wife was a work friend of our group and she regularly invited me to go out to eat with them when she was alive. He is a great guy and is fun to be around. I also had invited him to our company holiday party and he jumped at the chance to attend. It was my first time having a man accept one of my invitations, ever. He was also excited to let others know that I had invited him to the party. Things have calmed down a bit but I believe that he is using this time to get to know each of the ladies in our group better while getting past the loss of his wife.
I used to text a guy trying to feel him out. He would never text me back to start conversation but would talk to me at church but then I found out he was dating other girls. So I quit talking to him but then he seemed offended that I wasn't interested in him anymore.
Dominique Blagojevic that’s his ego talking.
Stay away from such men. Is either 100% you or 100% not you. Especially when he is offended that you're not interested in him anymore.
The pool in my area is SOOO discouraging.
Depends. If one of them just got out of a BAD relationship and were devastated they may want to go slow, slow, slow.
If you drop hints and you smile and seem intrested in a tentative whenever he talks then he probably knows you are intrested. Also if there are group events and you ask him if he is going to be there he will know. You can even take it a step further and say "I hope I see you there". At that point every man and the universe will know you are intrested. If he does not pursue then he is not intrested at that point.
Why would a guy invite me to social events with him and then he doesn't show up? I met a guy who did this so many times I gave up on him and actually left the church so that I wouldn't bump into him at church which would give him yet another chance at inviting me to an event. To this day I can't figure out what the heck he was thinking.
@@lynnv8501 That's a weirdo is what that is. Lol I know people decide not to go places the last minute sometimes cause they don't feel like it. But it could be a bunch of different things anywhere from he was nervous to talk to you and chickened out which doesn't sound like much of a man to me but regardless of the reason that's just goofy weird. I presume that you're asking me because you never asked him lol I would definitely have confronted that person even if just in a silly way to get an answer. Also, you should typically not allow anything in the natural to keep you from where God tells you to go. Make sure you hear from God where to go to church and if you can't hear from God yet then make sure you find a church that you can grow and learn to hear his voice! ;)
@@i-primeproductions1517 Thank you for responding! I appreciate it because my closest girl-friends don't know what to think of his behavior either, and the mystery of it all confuses me. After he didn't show up to about 5 events I realized he had issues. I had just never had a guy treat me like this. I did finally go back to the same church, just a different day of the week, and to an all-women group.
@@lynnv8501 Well I'm so glad that didn't keep you from your church. My advice is don't spend another moment worrying about it. Also, you have nothing to be ashamed about but perhaps he does so I wouldn't worry about seeing him but would also not pursue a relationship of any kind with him.
Good point. That would be the perfect relationship A guy waiting for a few months to make a move!
I have been friends with a guy for 8 years and I have told him in the past that I liked him twice and both times, he pushed me away and it was painful but I decided to move on and continue to be his friend. There was one time that he hung out with me and my best friend at the pool at my sister’s apartment. Later that evening, he told me that he wanted to kiss me really bad when we are at the pool and I was like whoa 😯
And I asked why? You pushed me away when I told you how I felt and then he said he wanted to kiss me to see if he feels the same way 🤷🏽♀️ So long story short, we had a very long talk at his apartment and he told me that he liked me and he is attracted to me and he said he is trying so hard not to hold me in his arms and kiss me and he didn’t the rest of the night but he had the “look” in his eyes anytime he looked at me which I have never seen before. He said he wants us to do this God’s way but another thing he said was he is scared of ruining our friendship if we date and it doesn’t work out!! So I think that I shouldn’t wait on him to take a risk and date me bcos I feel like I shouldn’t waste my time. Any advice Mark?
I was divorced for 14 years, a male I had know for 23 yrs, who had never married came back into my life. We both love the LORD, and decided to wait for marraige due to obstacles..debt and loose ends that needed to be sdjusted
Unfortunately, I believe the desire fizzled on his end. Now, we're just friends in the Lord.
God bless you. Amen, very well said on this message of pursuing her. Cant be any more clear👧🏼👏📙
How do you know if someone acts differently around you? You aren't around them to know how they act when you aren't there. :/
What happens when he’s so quiet around you, act very nervous around you, and weird but around other women, he’s fine.
Great question.
This happens to me all the time as a Christian man around women I want to date. He probably perceives you as a 9/10 or out of his league at the moment (taking into consideration money status personality and looks). He may not be simping or putting you on a pedestal but might not be in the over 6ft/6 figure/6 inches category that modern women desire so he retracts due to being a diligent planner as the bible says. Men want to be a good provider but most men out themselves because they don’t make enough money. One of the problems most men have is satisfying hypergamy but being separate from the high Worldly standards that 90% of modern women share.
@@Cross.Ministry Hi, Kale. Thank you for your input. The thing is, I really do like the guy. However, both of us have left the church and moved to different things. I believe he currently live in a different state. My prayer is that God would bring both of us together if it is His will. I never stopped thinking and praying for him even after I left the church early 2019.
@@daphneephilemon7895 Continue to pray but know that God is in control and He is good and faithful. Seasons of singleness are gifts so we can mold our characters and submit even more to God. I think the most attractive qualities in a women is respectful, modest, and separate from the Worldy girls.
Like yourself when I’m at church, I see all these women that I want to talk to (and I would say I’m an attractive male that a Christian women would be blessed to have) but I retract because most of these women dress “up” into a league which I cannot satisfy (even managing and stewarding diligently what God provides in my life). I don’t feel like I can satisfy their needs (their love being conditional to what I provide) but my hope is that a Godly women will come along can see me as the Lord sees me: Joseph in the pit/jail is the same Joseph second to Pharaoh with money and status part. So right now see myself as being invisible to these women but trust Gods timing and to know my wife will be equally yoked. Haha sorry I’m rambling my problems hahaha
@@Cross.Ministry Wow. I have always felt God blind the eyes of the wrong men so they don’t come near me. When I pray to God about my husband, I prayed he would be a man who truly love the Lord, a man I can pray with, and do ministry with, and a man who would have the characteristics of Jesus Christ. I definitely think a real man of God would want his wife to be to look set apart and be set apart for God’s greater purpose.
My situation is a little more complexx lol but i am hopeful. Anything is possible with God and He has shown me that
Amen, God is good all the time :)
My situation is complicated too
Amen
Me too lively 😩😩.
Yeah tbh I agree 👌🏾👏🏾👏🏾 I made a mistake, I’m no longer stuck now.
God bless!
What if he knows you like him? How long should you wait?
I think you should try to talk with him more, do activities with him etc... so he could know you more
@@laFrancaise806 Why he already knows you like him?
nofy bn I mean... if he knows you like him and he doesn’t do anything, it means he don’t try to pursue you maybe because he doesn’t know you and doesn’t know if you could match with him. So try to show who you are but ask god if it’s the true man for you before doing anything. And after all your efforts if he doesn’t do anything, don’t go further. God will give you someone who cares about you and will engage with you and give you peace but don’t try to pursue a man. God will provide the one who will give you peace. The one God wants for you will go to you. It won’t take away your peace. So don’t search someone beaucause God will provide at the good Time, trust him and pray « But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. » Matthew 6:33.
The plane need a clear to land signal from the control tower before landing.
God is in the Control Tower... Need an "All Clear" before the takeoff..😂😂😂😅😁😂😂
I totally agree with you Sinead Torres. I couldn't have said it better than you 😊👍
These old videos always pop up for me when I need a sign , 🥴🤦🏼♀️🤣 well here we are again
Nr.5 is really unbounding🙌Thank you for your time & effort!May God bless all you do!
I need to move on. I have been "loyal" for a guy that only let me cues and riddles. No settling anymore. I want a godly man since I am a godly woman and I want to glorify God. Thank you brother!
Love this video! Super helpful and insightful 🙏Blessings to you Pastor Mark,your family and ministry
No guy has ever pursued me. Is something wrong with me? Zero guy is looking at me or pursuing me.
@Addison Amit I am praying and I have faith. Sometimes I get soo discouraged and frustrated. But I will not lose hope.
@Addison Amit I hope you find that special girl. I am trying to find that special person for myself as well.
@Addison Amit exactly, same here. I just want to be loved, accepted, and wanted. I need to focus on getting my life together in order and learn something like go back to School and follow my plans that I have laid out for myself.
@Addison Amit what do you mean by that?
@Addison Amit yes I do after service
This is exactly the video I needed right now
My situation is much more complicated than any that you described...
Can you please please do a video on during a separation in marriage how to know if we should wait for our spouse to come back or to divorce even if they are not interested in getting back together at the time
Very objectionable and Godly wisdom...
Thanks for the book link, The One.
Don't wait, work and live your life. God will do it. If you're thinking about it, he's not assertive enough for you. But I have been guilty of waiting 🙄 ps - never invite a guy, ( way too obvious) men are hunters, they will pursue if truly interested.
Thank you for the video Mark :) its very helpful, God bless!
My pleasure, I'm so glad to hear it was helpful!
Waiting on God for the right one
Amen!
Yes. Me too❤️🙏🏾 God will send them in HIS timing. I believe sometimes we aren’t even aware of what he’s doing right in front of us. But it’s for his glory and ultimate plan for our lives. He knows the way.
Don’t wait. Get out there and connect with the people God brings your way. No guy is worth it unless he is making time and space for you. If God wants you together, God will open His eyes. Why not embrace your life in the mean time?
Love all your videos!Such a download of wisdom!❤❤❤😊😊😊😊
...Thank you I was looking for advice on how to move on from the wrong one! Thank you and God bless!😇
OH SHHHNAP, “5 signs to a Christian Player”! I gotta check that out.
Let’s just say for self survey purposes
There's a man I believe is interested in me but "God told me not to awaken love before its time."
Five signs of a Christian player.... subscribing to this channel! 😂. That is AWFUL but thank you for putting it out there and helping us out!
I personally want to know that he can lead me, my first sign of knowing that is that he asks me out. I will not ask him out.
I have found at my church that some married Christian men don't wear wedding rings. So it is more challenging for me to invite a man to pursue me, when I don't know if he is single.
But I won't give up.
I feel like God is telling me I will meet him in the next 4 months. I have been waiting 7 months already, since He first told me I am getting married in 2024. I will keep trusting His timing
Don’t wait…..focus on yourself. A marriage can be an important desire, however, don’t obsess and make it your number 1 priority. What is for you will have no choice but to hit you head on😂. I have other things on my priority list.
Ouch it hurts. If youre waiting for years. Then its to move on. I can relate. This guy doesnt really like me.
I have to say that I agree with you on every AGW video that I've seen but on this one I have to disagree I do apologize. But I know that as soon as a female ask a guy to go out to do some type of activity then they will assume that she's being too aggressive and have killed the chase for them
Natasha Taylor I agree I’ve always been told to let the man initiate and the woman should respond
So, I disagree with his advice of inviting a guy. Ladies, that's really pursuing him. Don't invite him. Please don't. If you want to guard your heart, don't follow that advice. But, he's right in saying that we don't have to be passive. Smile and say hello. That's how you can gauge if he's interested. If he is, he'll step up and make it known. Hoping that men will find the courage to step up when they're interested.
Dionnea Seals You took the words right out of my mouth! That is exactly what I’ve told my daughters and they know better than to pull this ‘inviting’ him ... it’s the other way around. I do agree with all the other points though
Would you say following them on social media is pursuing them or just friendly follow? #help
Thank you!
@@missmaedeut3210 so sorry about the late response. I don't think a friendly follow is bad. However, is your heart prepared if he's showing interest in someone else and makes it known on social media? Just something to think about. But if you know how to manage your emotions...have a friendly follow. Emphasis on friend...until he makes his interest known.
@@dionneaseals why is that bad and why do you dissagree with what he said? Would like to hear some logical argumentations.
He keeps saying to me “we’re almost there” and he gave me a 10 carat yellow diamond ring , he says he has to abide what God is gonna so next..:then later he gets upset and texts me mean words...it hurts. But I don’t say back mean words to him, but maybe because he’s got so much going on..he’s a Pastor and prays for the sick and dying, the lost and hurting; the homeless. We used to minister together on the streets...I think he’s stressing because of his big responsibility.
I think this is helping me... He does care about me, he loves me. I serve God everyday, I minister and serve God. It jus that he’s ..I don’t know..it seems like he’s not opening up to me...discernments
If he's mean, move on.
Do not accept even 1 mean word, it will only escalate.
How many months is a few months? I think I know I should move on because it's messing with my emotions and there is no reciprocation when I tried initiating (definitively not chasing because I'm too shy to do it) but I am having a hard time completely letting go of the "what ifs".
I left it ambiguous on purpose bc I don't think there is a one size fits all answer. But it sounds like you know it's time. It's helpful to remember God's sovereignty. If you seek to obey him he won't let you miss his will.
Move on and let PEACE direct you. not your mind
For me and this guy, it’s complicated and a long story and started good and we got confirmation and then messed up and now i feel like we know what we want but he doesn’t want to mess up again.. but i feel like he’s going by how he feels in the moment and I’m feeling like God isn’t telling me to move on yet.. like there is so much that God has told us and told me and God just keeps saying, go back to what i first told you… idk.. i don’t want to waste my time but at the same time I feel like i know what it is it’s just he is scared to walk into it completely or start over because he doesn’t want us to mess up again. & our walks with God are solid as well. We repented and grew and didn’t talk for a while but when we do talk, it’s not awkward.. idk
So how does a friendly guy be more friendly to somebody likes?
I've been going to a new church and there's one single guy there he seems nice he made a move and talked to me a little and after that nothing happened now what do I do? What's the next step its confusing.
Nancy Cossident Next time at church, casually go over and say "hello" and ask how he's doing. If he keeps the conversation going, he may be interested. By going to talk to him, it lets him know that you're open to conversation. After that it is his turn to make a move to pursue you. Good luck.
So I guess stalking is a big no?
Julie Keeney lol!!!😂
Thanks for the practical advice.
My pleasure!
Is it possible that the guy is deadly shy to make the moves? He kept giving hints that he likes someone but without making the moves.
Chloe Kim It is possible and if the woman he likes is interested as well, she should engage him in light-hearted conversation first. This gives him the signal that she's open to talking with him. She can even invite him to a group event. We have to remember that guys don't like rejection either so maybe he needs a little nudge from her that she's interested in getting to know him. But at some point, he will have to pursue her. Good luck.
CC B thanks a lot
Chloe Kim No problem! 😊
CC B Great response!
T Regis i would disagree to a point. If the guy likes a gal but feels she would logically not accept him for any particular reason, it would be reasonable to not ask her out as he knows his emotions could be misleading him. You can have emotions, just never trust them they will betray you any chance they get. Most circumstances will never change no matter how you feel. They change based on events. I can be waiting for a customer to load my trailer at the dock and regardless of whether i am happy or angry they will not load me any faster. “There is a way that feels right unto a man but the end there of leads to death”. Just because a guy might be interested in a gal in no excuse to pursue. Instead wait, observe and see if there is anything to indicate a reason not to. Then if there are no obvious issues strike up a conversation THEN see if there is potential worth pursuing. If there is then i would do so over time. Never trust an emotional impulse Love is like trust. IT IS EARNED over time and should never be given away. The “time” in question ( to ask her out so to speak)could be a few weeks or months(2--3) Just don’t rely on emotions alone. They can guide, but never let them control.
I definitely believe a man needs to pursue, but all for initiating hang outs.
Yeah but sometimes we’re just to scared to say anything, loosing friends is a fear of mine. I won’t ever do something, I’ll wait for her to come to me which chances are won’t happen.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
You have nothing to loose but could gain some experience in how to man up.
So there's this guy at church that started coming after Covid let up. He's quiet and doesn't go up to people besides our seniors. He's been chatting with my dad and just once walking out to cars he said something. I can see the intent, but its not mutual. Do you have a video on that?
Point 5 needs it's own video!!😆
Do you tell him that you need to move on? That it's hurting your heart and messing your head?
Ms EffieM pray and get away! God is not the author of confusion but of peace and you're not feeling the Holy Spirit sister
U just move on....no explanations
Great advice!! Thank you for your videos!
If a guy acting different around you is this: he is really happy and talkative to everyone else but you! When you are around he says absolutley nothing, minor small talk occasionally but not engaging into full conversation (but still looking/staring), then what does that mean? 😂
Eevu he may like you bc I have a crush on someone right now and that's how I act with them. When they come around I get super nervous and shut down. #soseventhgrade
this means he either likes you or have high respect for you.
Thanks for the comments 😊 I act like a 7th grader myself sometimes too LOL! And might give the idea I couldn't care less of a guy I'd actually like to get to know better haha! Pretty sad 😂
He's terrified because he doesn't want to say the wrong thing haha.
Magie Sam Someone actually told me they think he has really high respect for me and is kind of intimidated. Don't know about that though. I've just though he has no intrest but it might not always be the case. And guys are sometimes insecure too. They don't always come and talk to the person they're interested in, that I have noticed. It might sometimes be really the opposite.
I want to ask her out, but I am actually terrified. I do not think that she likes me although we are quite awkward around each other. She sometime ignores me outright but would reach out if she needs something. I am not really sure what to think here.
He asked the Lord that I would wait for him, Until he was healed And I said yes I would wait, it’s been four years and All he’s doing is flirting.
There are really many more eligible Christian people out there than you can imagine if you live in the US. I think that the ultimate way to find a spouse is to go do things in groups. This gets rid of the tensions of one on one and you can get the feel feel or hint at all people in the entire group. Someone might be a friend of one of the women in your group, maybe a sister or cousin. The same goes for guys, they might have a friend or brother that you have no clue on. We need to spend time together Christian people!!! Even older people at church might play match maker and introduce you to their granddaughter or grandson.
Maybe all the singles here need to form an AGW christian singles group and get to mingle .. it'd be fun I guess since we are across boarders and continents....who knows wat might happen when we widen our scopes? #justthinking!
THANK YOU!!! I really needed this
Thank you this is extremely helpful
So glad this was helpful sushikey990
Love the advice. All videos are so helpful. I used the invitation trick and it worked. Is it to early to ask if he wants to come to a family party?
Nice! I don't know if it is too early . . . what do you feel about it?
If ur family is mexican maybe
LETTING GOD lead
I agree to move on
Thank you. God bless you.
I've been pursuing her.She didn't want to go out but made it clear she is single
Can you make a video about singleness being a widow ect . I like a guy who is a widow 😅 but don’t know how to approach the situation 😂
Is there any biblical backing for the "boy pursues girl" concept?? Is there some reason it can't be mutually ,and equally spontaneous event? Have we allowed a figure of speech to evolve into some kind of ritual?
Great information...
Thanks!
If God as been showing you a particular guy to u n ur dreams and the guy is not askng you out ...what can you do ?
This one was a tough one bc the guy I’ve liked, he told me he’s waited for me to come around for almost 6 years but when I finally did, he backed off and got too “busy”. He’s always checking my social media and he’ll text me a lot but hasn’t been coming around the way he told me wanted me to. Unfortunately, it’s been a year of this back and forth.
Move on. You're wasting your time.
The hard truth is they are NOT PURSUING in general. They are simply not. It is not that they are not pursuing me...they are not pursuing ANYONE. The men in their 40s seems so broken that they cannot find the strength to pursue.
In one way, lawyers ruined it. Guys know the risk of divorce and the ex taking EVERYTHING he worked for. Even for an example a house or property in his name before the marriage. A corrupt court can destroy him. So common sense prevails here. Why pursue someone when the end result will likely result in its loss? Never invest time or money into an outcome you know you will never afford to keep. Too much risk. Not worth pursuing.. A friend in church asked me why i never got married or had kids as him and his wife had three.
I told him since my job only pays my bills and nothing more, it was unwise to invest money in a wife and kids i know i will never be able to afford as doing do would be extremely stupid and foolish. After all as the husband i am responsible to provide for them and she manages the kids and home with me. It is my responsibility to provide. Since I cannot afford to provide for a wife and kids, no point in even dating until i can afford to do that.”
He said that if he thought like i did by waiting until he could afford to get married, he never would have gotten married in the first place. 2 years later he had an affair and divorced his wife and left. High taxes, cost of living, feminism, corrupt courts, and lawyers destroyed many guys hopes of a wife and kids. Unfortunately now days common sense is to avoid that all together. Its more affordable.
You wonder why men in their 40s are broken? Steve K gives one such example in his comment in this thread. I had dated lots of women when I was in my 40s & most of those women were broken, many were total emotional wrecks. They tried to hide it at first but it soon became apparent that their emotional volatility were huge red flags. Run Forrest, run!
That’s what happens when there is an absence of Christ. We are all broken to a point, some more than others. If there’s a life to be had avoiding anxiety then NOT PURSUING a romantic relationship is one way of leading a peaceful and serene life. There are pros and cons to any lifestyle choice however, the freedom of being single is liberating.
istvanski if you are going to stay single then you never get to have sex again. That is the rule. Either follow it or recognize that you are in rebellion and repent. If you burn with lust you are to marry
Couldn't even tell you what girls at church are single. Lots of them just stare at me. Never talking to me.
Sure a great Christian guy. That said , every video I’ve seen puts this onus on Christian males which is extra biblical .
Passive amazing choice of word. So what do you do if the guy may like you, but is passive with what happens?
Mark what if we are staying at different places