This is my 3rd attempt going grey. I mentioned to another woman the other day and first thing they say is , “Don’t do it!”. Or other negative comments. I would never tell someone what to do with their hair. So annoying. I want to go through with it this time because I’ve noticed the dye is irritating my scalp and tired of trying to cover up the grey .
@@KatieGoesPlatinum , I love how you talk about how conversations take on a life of their own. I often feel that way, even when talking about other things besides gray hair.
I have been totally grey for almost 3 years now. In my 3 years of being grey, I have not received 1 positive comment. In my experience, it feels that a lot of the insulting comments that I receive about my hair color choice seem rooted in other people’s own insecurity and fear of aging. I made this choice to be grey because 100% of my hair is grey and trying to keep up with the coloring meant I would have to dye my hair every 2 weeks or see a visible demarcation line. To transition to grey, I shaved my head rather than go the route of the grow out - kind of the rip the bandage off approach. When I was dying my hair, people always assumed I was 10 years younger than my age. Having grey hair now, people assume I am 10-20 years older than I actually am. That took a while to get used to. I could let this get me down or feel hurt by their comments, but I don’t. This whole process has helped personally in learning to accept myself regardless of what other people think. We live in an age where with social media, people are constantly seeking validation from others. Learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. We are all full of wonderful qualities and talents that go much deeper than our hair. ❤
Agreed! And it's going to take a while for people to stop assuming everyone with gray hair is elderly. Now that more and more women of all ages are foregoing hair dye, some of those outdated notions might die off.
I am SO happy that you are able to allow yourself to be the candlestick in the dark. Your flame is gorgeous and believe me, you are inspiring people. I think the natural white is a beautiful, angelic highlight. I’m glad I saw your message. 💕
My daughter is 33 and has a 4 or 5 inch pure white streak which she shows off and beautiful sparkly white hairs on top. I think grey hair is unique it's totally different for everyone. So sorry to hear you had so much negativity. You rock your look!
Love the "wow" response to "I care too much about my appearance to go grey"! My hair is what it is--a mix of colors, mostly grey, thick, curly, and long. I stopped coloring 15 years ago. One frequent comment, "You aren't fooling anyone into thinking you're young with long hair." *sigh* If I wanted to look young, would I grow out this much grey hair? Rudest comment, "What's your real color?" All of them--every strand is exactly how it grows.
Gosh, those are both terribly rude comments! It's funny - I've been thinking of cutting my silver hair shorter, but part of the reason I keep it long is because it drives certain people CRAZY to see an older woman with long hair (especially long gray hair). It's fun to horrify people :-)
@@FreshGrey-pm4vw Who knows! It was likely an intentional jab at me for not coloring, as she was fresh from the salon in a new lighter blonde with added multi-toned streaks.
I also have long grey hair. One friend says cut it to look younger. I told her I want to look old. I also have very fair olive tones skin. I am called the snow queen as a nickname. I try to play up my pale skin.
I'm in the U.S. in Washington state, and I am the only one of my close friends who is gray/silver. I've heard all these things. Or, even worse, people don't say anything. Some days I have to keep reminding myself of all the benefits: no hair dying $$, no rigid upkeep schedule, no more drudgery of dying at home or worrying if I missed a spot...Favorite bonus: my hair is SO healthy now with curls galore. I don't like the immediate assumption that I'm older than everyone else in the room, but that's just how it usually goes. Thanks for posting this video!
You're welcome! Yeah, all the benefits outweigh these negatives. And I honestly think we all look great because the silver is SO flattering for our skintones (any skintone)!
First, I consider you one of my "coaches" during my transition to gray. I retired at age 64 in Oct. 2018 and began going gray in March 2020. My natural hair color was very dark brown-almost black and that was how it was colored for over 20 years. I wanted to do this a few years earlier but did not want to be an object of office gossip. The process wasn't as bad as I expected; I wore scarves and headbands and not having my hair dyes resulted in a great deal of regrowth which was an enormous plus. I love the way it came out; very streaky and get compliments from strangers all the time. However, some of my friends and family have refrained from commenting and that speaks volumes. I believe they were so used to my long dark hair and the gray reminds them of their aging. My husband loves it; he grew out his beard which is completely white. I'm also not telling anyone what to do but I will support and encourage anyone who decides to stop dying their hair. Thanks again Katie!
I agree that true friends wouldn’t act this way (and if they did, they’d be dead to us), except it’s often strangers and/or acquaintances that do this. And I think sometimes even friends can be thoughtless without being purposefully cruel.
Im in the UK, about 5 months or so into my transition and I bumped into an ex boyfriend today. We usually we have a friendly little chat and a catch up but today he couldn't get away fast enough. I'm sure it was because of my grey hair. He approached me from behind, my hair is mostly dark at the back, but when I turned to face him and spoke to him, he acted like I was a stranger and walked away. I didn't challenge it, I just let him disappear. I'm trying to not let it bother me, I didn't think he was like that. Sort of explains why lots of women are afraid to stop colouring their hair.
The "you are so brave" has happened so many times to me....don't really think it's intentional on their part to be critical or negative. I think it forces them to accept their own issues about aging and makes them uncomfortable. On the other hand, I've received so many wonderful comments about my white hair and it always is an instant ego boost! I don't remember too many compliments about my natural or dyed hair.....almost never, but having "let it go" seems to give people permission (in their way of thinking) to have an opinion and state it.
Oh, agreed - I don't think the brave comment is critical. It just gets old having to hear it all the time. And YES - I get so many more compliments on my silver hair than I ever did on my dyed hair. That seems to be fairly common - a nice bonus!
In choosing to go grey, I realised last night that it's because I had reached the stage in my development where "I" became more important than "everyone else". Meaning, that my comfort/health/time became more important to me than other people's opinions or what they think of me. That's huge. We spend so much of our lives for other people, trying to be attractive or whatever, without even realising that's what we're doing. I was having to touch up my roots every weekend and I just got so sick of it. I've decided that if anyone is brave enough to comment on my decision, my reply will be "I'm going to go grey and I'm going to rock it!" If anyone dared to say 'I'm to too vain to go grey" I shall reply "well I decided I'd rather be my true self than fake" lol. Looking forward to the rest of my life of liberation!
Reading through all these comments I seriously cannot believe the amount of people who have had negative comments or no comments at all about their hair. Wow, its so sad. How do ppl become so cruel. Im sure you all look absolutely gorgeous
I believe that the reason people are triggered when we do something differently, is that they also want to do that or know that is the right thing to do for them but don’t go that way becouse of fear or wanting to fit in and it does trigger that frustration of not having chosen that themselves when they see other people doing it. We don’t realize but the most powerful way we speak to people is by what we do, not by what we say and some people can feel attacked or judged by what we do even if we never had any intention to attack their own personal beliefs. I know it is not pleasant when it happens becouse I’ve also experienced it myself.
I love your silver hair! I am from FL and it has been 13 months since I ditched the dye and my soon to be 80 year old sister who has been dyed blond for many years told me that I look older with my gray hair and I should dye it blond and my best friend said the same thing...I guess it is there own insecurities! I told them quite a few times that I am never coloring my hair again...don't they get it! lol...I just turned 73 last month
I stopped dieing my hair when I was 59. My partner had died, I was just about holding it together, and hair maintenance was low on my priority list. I bleached my hair as light as I could with peroxide, then had a very short haircut (from jaw length) then I toned my hair with purple shampoo as it grew out. It took about 2 years, similar to if I had done it naturally. I am complimented, often with how lucky I am to have such nice white hair. I always say ‘Thanks, my mother had lovely white hair, I am lucky to have inherited it’. And I don’t always keep it white, I still use purple or pink conditioner, so my hair is often multi coloured. People ask to touch my hair, they seem to think it will be like Candy floss. Here in Scotland , I don’t get the passive aggressive stuff, I must look scary. Deliberately gray 7 years now, no regrets.
"Wow" is good and you already gave us the best reply: going gray is not for everybody. Thanks for all, Katie. Spanish lady living in Germany for 22 years. Went grey 4 years ago and never had been involved in this kind of conversation, but in the case that this happens in the future I will know how to reply.
I'm in Canada , Ontario and I can so relate to everything you have said...I recently ran into a friend from my passed and the first thing she said was "I'm way to vain to go grey thats brave of you" I was left feeling unattractive yet I love my silver hair and yet I let her change my thoughts for a brief moment.... Thank you for sharing this just to know I am not alone with dealing with this response to my choice of going grey silver platinum. Next time I will be ready with the "WOW!"
You’re welcome! I’m sure many people (including your friend) don’t mean to be rude - but it’s not a bad idea for them to find out that it comes off that way! It’s such a weird thing to say - as if we don’t care about our looks at all because we don’t dye our hair?!
Isn’t it crazy how you can suddenly become the unicorn in the room in the US? In New Mexico this choice is a norm but still on occasion my hair becomes the highlight reel. It can be uncomfortable after two hours or so… 😬. There is a psychology trick to derail a person’s train of thought and that is to say something really nonsensical and walk away while they order what the hell you just said. For instance, “you know I would have never spent that two years in college if it hadn’t been for that horse.”
Thanks, Joli! I like your idea - I’m going to have to try it! I love that silver hair isn’t that unusual where you live. It’s definitely more common here in Los Angeles than it was five years ago but sometimes I’m still the only person in the room.
What a treat to stumble upon your channel today. I am in the U.S. and have had some interesting experiences with my own hair - namely loosing all of my hair during chemo after being told I wouldn't lose my hair. I was shocked and oddly enough, devastated. I had no idea it would impact me like that. During covid I decided to stop coloring and cutting my hair which is long and white (I was a blonde from childhood which is ANOTHER story for another time). Very few folks had even commented other than they didn't recognize me - but admittedly I don't see many people these days. What I find is how horrible my drivers license and ID card photos turned out in the last two weeks - I look like a ghost in yhe photos. I suppose the cameras aren't meant for beauty shots buy again, I wasn't expecting how drastic the difference from my daily look in the mirror. Hair is powerful. Thank you for this channel.
You're welcome! Yes, hair IS super powerful. You should read "Me, My Hair, and I" by Benedict. It's a fantastic collection of essays by women all about their hair. I love it! Re: the driver's license, remember that they use fluorescent lights at the DMV.- as a photographer, I can tell you those lights are the WORST! Totally unflattering.
Hi, you look fantastic! I stopped colouring my butt- length hair just before Covid hit, so I'll have 3 years of silver growth by January. I'm an American living in Ireland. You are right, people tend not to share / over-share as much here, so I do get compliments and the odd "you're so brave" every once in a while, but that's it for the most part. I am and always have been an unconventional person who also does not get into trying to convince others to change. You are right, insecure folks in the past have angrily projected onto me about my life choices - being vegetarian, not drinking alcohol for example. It doesn't happen so much these days though. I find the more at peace I am with myself, the less it happens. Or maybe I just don't suffer fools anymore and people Intuitively pick up on that and leave me alone!
That's so interesting (and not that surprising) that it happens less in Ireland! I think you're right, though - sometimes people can pick up on the fact that they should NOT comment. When I was younger, I think I projected a sweetness that made people feel free to say whatever popped into their head. Now i have RBF and they are a little afraid sometimes :-)
I live in Ireland and I had alot of negative comments from other women about going grey statements like"you'll be old time enough" or " it ages people" needless to say it didn't deter me
Thank you Katie for this video. First I’d like to applaud you for your honesty and your willingness to help others through their journey as you have shared yours. You look beautiful. Those comments from those “friends” are really more about themselves. It’s been my experience that insensitive people tend to be jealous of your successes and want to bring you down or have you question your life decisions. I have found that most of the negative remarks are from women that I have known for years. Strangers have been more complimentary especially men. The word “courageous” is the wrong “C” word. The correct word is CONFIDENCE. Those comments come from jealous individuals. They lack self confidence to stand out. You shine Katie! Unfortunately we tend to take to heart the few bad comments then hold onto the many many good uplifting ones especially when they come from “friends” or family members. And by the way I too used cloth diapers when my kids were babies and to boot hang them on the clothes line to dry. And no not in the 50’s or 60’s before disposable were invented. Lol it was the late 80’s and early 90’s. Thank you again for sharing your story and all the resources that you provide. I transitioned cold turkey just like you. Last time I colored was November 2014. You couldn’t pay me money to ever go back to dye. I’ve woken up from nightmares that I’ve been to a salon and for a trim and fell asleep in their chair and woke up with dark brown or black dyed hair.
Thank you so much for your sweet comments. I think you're right - if you're feeling confident, some people want to knock you down. It's sad, really (for them). How cool you used cloth diapers too - I loved them! And YES - that nightmare is fairly common among us silver sisters. I need to do a video about that - it's the worst!
I am from the US. The only comments I have gotten have been the exact same “are you going to let the gray keep growing?…..that’s so brave!” Brave seems so strange to me but I get it. I will admit that before I started to transition I would have been guilty of saying my gray wouldn’t look as good as other people. At that point I truly felt that some people looked better with gray hair than I would. It wasn’t so much about the hair as a lack of confidence in myself causing me to think that. I am approaching a year and I love the shiny silver I have. However I cannot yet tell what it will look like when I am done I enjoyed this video!
Love your silver hair and you look beautiful. I decided to stop coloring my hair during covid and have never regretted it. I dyed my hair for over 40 years and going silver was absolutely liberating!!! I get more compliments on my thick, silver hair than I ever got as a brunette. Haven't got any negative comments at all. I live in the USA in the great state of TX.
I grew out my grey hair, it took a long, tedious three and a half years. I persevered with it with it for two years, mostly salt, a little pepper. However, looking at pictures of myself, I saw how flat it looked and how it unnecessarily made me look older than I was. I initially had blonde highlights put in (which greatly damaged my naturally dry hair), but it still looked ashy and flat. I have just put a mid brown henna in my hair and it makes me look more vibrant, and as a bonus, helped lessen the damaged appearance. This is my experience only, each to their own. May I also say that not once did anyone make a negative comment about my grey hair. If they were thinking it, they certainly didn't say it. P.S. I'm from Australia.
I am 45; my hair is 50/50 salt and pepper, when I see roots coming out in other women I don’t like it and remembered why I stopped coloring, Most of the comments I received is a question about if I am going to colored again, I just answer maybe but for now I am happy like this, and then I change the topic, generally it works and people forget about my hair for the moment, I guess my friends are just getting use to see me like this, I have to understand them too.
Everyone thinks I am old. I keep getting told I need the senior discount. I started taking the discount. USA one man at a trade show asked if I was letting myself go. He was selling skin care. I said yes and walked away.
I’m in US. I had always looked 10-15 years younger than I am. I went gray during the pandemic and have been fully gray for about a year. I get very few comments about it - one way or another. But if I get a comment, it’s usually negative. I have noticed that strangers treat me differently than when I colored my hair. They’re nicer! When my mom stopped coloring her hair, she noticed the same thing. You get treated like an old lady.
Interesting! It probably depends on where you live in the USA. I haven't gotten any negative comments about my hair since I went gray (I received more during my transition) but it honestly does depend. I've heard women in the Pacific Northwest and New England say that they get a lot of support, but women in certain cities or regions have the opposite.
Yeah, I got all those comments and yeah, they tell me that "you're lucky that your hair looks pretty because mine would look ugly". Say what? Like you, at 1:53 I hated my hair in the beginning because we have this mix of hair dye and grey hair that makes our hair looks dirty, with no shine in it because the hair dye is just past the time of retouching or redoing it, and now after 8 months it looks completely different and still changing because of course I have the grombre now. I did it for myself and I don't evangelize anyone because I know how difficult it was for me to make the decision. I did it because I was tired of going to the hairdresser every 3 to 4 weeks and it wasn't fun anymore. That was it. By the way, I'm Chilean, but I live in the UK. I received these comments mostly from people in my own country.
Hi Katie! Love your videos!! Lucky for me I’m retired so I didn’t have to deal with comments from colleagues. I went gray during the pandemic so that made it easier to go gray. I have a small circle of friends and no one has said anything negative, but I did notice some discomfort from a few friends in the beginning. That was awkward but it’s now back to normal. In the end I think many women think about going grey but find it hard to start the process. My grey hair feels and looks so much healthier, so I’m happy and that’s all that matters.
Meanwhile How beautiful is Katie's hair, I'm 10 months cold turkey. Shoulder length brunette dyed blonde. Yeah it's stripey, it needs washed more often but it's natural, what an ***** relief. I am me and this is me. I'm taking care of myself best I can, diet, exercise and working full time. It's a journey all right and I'll be using WOW. Thanks K x
You're welcome! And thanks for the compliment! Sounds like you are on a great path! If you haven't already, make sure to check out my free download with some transition tips! www.katiegoesplatinumlead.com/10-easy-steps-landing-page/
I'm in the US. The same thing happened to me when I went vegan. All the questions about why, how, when, etc became tiresome. I would get to the point of saying I had to use the restroom and left the conversation. In a society where everyone says "you do you", it almost seems silly then when people make comments about your silver hair or any of your other choices outside of what is considered to be the norm. Since I went gray back on 1/21/22, I haven't seen my core group of girlfriends. I did see a couple of their husbands though at a funeral and they said nothing. I think the women are more prone to asking all the questions right?
Yes, it's women 98% of the time. Most of the men either say nothing or are complimentary. But you're right - we're supposed to be a country that cheers individualism, but there can be heavy-duty pressure from our peers to conform. We just have to shrug it off and do what we want to do anyway. (Which is what I always do, I just get sick of hearing about it).
I am also Vegan as of Feb this year, and I stopped dying my hair in June 2020. Both are the best decisions I have ever made. And both cause so many comments. I will say, I have had more complements on my grey hair than I have had regarding my hair in years.
I think your hair looks beautiful and so do you! I'm nearly 4 months into ditching the dye and hair is a very dark brown. I hope I don't lose patience.
Thank you, Huma! You can do this - it's SO worth it! Whenever you feel like you're losing patience, just try to wait it out if you can. You'll be happy you did 🙂
You're very right... Going gray is not for everyone. I dyed my hair for over 30 years and relaxed it for the same amount of time before I made the decision to stop!
@@KatieGoesPlatinum Yes Ma'am! We look full time in an RV and I just did not want to destroy the little bathroom that we had with hair dye and chemicals from the relaxer.
USA here (Northeast), stopped dying 3 months ago, I had gone 4 months before but got cold feet and went back to the dye. I'm still kind of on the fence about the whole thing mainly because my hair is long, it's below my bra strap and will take ages to grow out. I don't want to chop it all off since short hair on me is very very unflattering (I look like a troll!). Funny thing is my mom and younger sister (who is 53) are both cheering for me to let the gray grow out, so I've already got a built in positive couple of people on my side. My mom's side of the family are all very early grayers, my own middle son who is 26 is salt and pepper. The gray is strong in our family. 😂I'm doing my best to embrace it as the roots that have grown in so far (about an inch) look pretty and shiny, I'm going to let it go till the middle of June then make the final decision. All it will probably take if I chicken out is a call to my mom. 😁
You are so lucky you have a lot of white in your hair. I still have too much dark for my liking So I’m gonna have to wait for idk how long for more white Then no more bleaching yay Your hair is lovely I’m from south east England
Hello from Atlanta. Just starting my transition at 72. Thanks for the great insight and the Wow comment - so good! I've not received any comments yet, but sure I will when my hair grows out a bit more (my fun retirement job is customer service, I meet all kinds).
Hi, Maggie! So glad you liked it! I hope you never get a rude or intrusive comment but if you do, I'm glad I could help you be prepared. I don't always think quickly on my feet so I think it's a good idea to have some responses ready 🙂
I’m from the US south. I haven’t had a problem. I had med brown hair that I highlighted with ash blonde for many years. As I turned gray, it just gradually got lighter. I eventually stopped highlighting it and couldn’t tell a difference. It’s getting more silver as opposed to gold but no big change. My sister in Texas stopped coloring her hair in her 50’s and went from very dark brown to really striking pure white and has gotten only compliments as far as I know.
Looking at your before and after, to be honest, I think you look so much prettier with greay hair. Not that my opinion matters and so it shouldnt. I feel so bad for you, not so very nice friends you have!!! You look fantastic and you have given me real inspiration to go grey. Unfortunately Ive dyed my hair darkest brown, so this brings me to why Im on your channel. We should all be able to make our own choices and not be judged by that. Hell, I used disposable nappies and so did my daughter with her children. My choice and I dont feel guilty for my choices either. I cant say Ive ever had anything like youve experienced. Im glad too because I suffer with depression. I live in Australia, beautiful country, as yours is too. Thanks for taking the time to share this video. I hope you have made some new, lovely friends. Id be around for coffee and a chat about your gorgeous hair if I were your friend. Stay Safe
First time here and I love it! I think this is true in all areas of life. We choose a very different path regarding to many aspects of life and it is very clear how people get triggered ( sorry English is not my first language). Great video, thanks!!!
Your cloth diaper experience was my homeschooling experience with my boys. Lots of unsolicited advice. Sometimes I did not answer in some comments I answered. I'm in the USA.
In Germany I have never had a single comment about my grey hair. I am not fully grey, but stopped dying in 2018 and have salt and pepper :). Coincidently I used cloth nappies on my daughter (13 years ago) and no.one ever commented on that either.
I had some regrets at the beginning, but was fully committed to going gray and I love it and am so happy I did it. It's a very personal choice, and as you say I am not here to convince anyone. I have had many of the uncomfortable comments you mentioned (mine would be ugly, you're brave I could never do it, etc). For the most part I just nod and smile and move on. I'm not sure it really dawns on them that it could be a hurtful comment. (I'm in the US.)
I hate dying my hair, but I don't find grey hair flattering on anyone. I think it does age you, and I don't like this feeling. Some people still manage to look good on it, though. But I doubt I will. Still, I am kinda stubborn type of girl, so I am giving it a try, without conviction 😂. Let's see...
Oh, gosh. To name people most of us know, I LOVE Jane Fonda and Jamie Lee Curtis with grey hair. There is a woman at work who is growing out her greys and has black hair. It looks AMAZING even though it isn’t fully grown out. My mom was blond and her white hair is stunning! I think tons of women look better with grey hair. I think part of it may be whether or not they have a flattering cut and keep their hair looking nice as opposed to looking unkempt, which is unflattering on everyone.
Hi Katie. I am in the UK and of South Asian descent. I can assure you this doesn't happen just in the US. It's universal. I am 5 months since I last dyed my hair. I went to my regular beauty salon last week after a very long time. I am not related to or friends with the beauty therapist there. She is also of South Asian descent. I was talking about why I hadn't been in the salon for such a long time, (started new job and not finding time) and then as she was doing my brows, she said "Yes, look your hair needs doing as well. You should look after yourself. You should keep doing it if you're able to until your not". By the last sentence, she meant that if you are at an age where colouring your hair still looks okay you should still do it. I was sat there thinking "What the ....?!!" By the way, I am 56 and she is in her early 60s I think and she dyes her hair. It didn't knock my confidence because as I said, I am not friends with her or related to her. She's also a hairdresser which is why I guess she made the comment. Women from my native community i.e. South Asian also have it ingrained that grey hair is for "old" people. I mentioned to a close female relative that I was going to ditch the dye some months before I stopped dying it; she looked disappointed and then started recommending a colour that wouldn't take so long to apply (since I mentioned I don't have the time to be doing this anymore). She hasn't seen me again since I stopped dying my hair. I think if she did and then commented, that might knock my confidence. Anyway, I am desparate to fully transition. It feels like the grey was coming back a lot quicker when I was dying it than now I am not! It does really feel good though to not have to think about making time to dye it. Everytime there was some event, I'd be thinking "Oh I've got to dye my grey!" Not any more.
I'm so glad that you were able to let those negative comments pass. And you're right to stay away from those type of people -they just drag you down and away from your goal. I hope your transition is going smoothly and I'm so glad you're happy to be done dyeing!
People get defensive when someone makes a different choice than they do. Happens lots with parenting: homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, bedtimes, etc. people should do what works for them (and their family) and let others do the same without judgement.
I only dye my hair about every three months, generally just to do something different, and I just turned 60. I'd love to know what people do who have just a bit of gray but not a lot? I swear if I let it grow I'll just have two gray streaks from my temples down... I don't see gray in other areas. My hair is very dark brown and I usually use an auburn color just because I like the warmer tone and feel it is more 'fun'. My mom is 93 and she still gets her hair colored, just to make it GRAY. Becuase otherwise she has five different patches of color on her head!
I have seen some women who let their grey streaks grow out and I always thought it looked really unique and awesome. We even had a newscaster growing up with a white streak and black hair.
Personally, I think your type of gray streaks look super cool! My friend's hair grew out that way - darker in the back and streaks at the front, and it was very flattering. The silver hair framing her face really made it glow.
I'm 54 with 1.5 inch roots (level 5.5 on the rest) and am having babylights added this Wednesday and toned to silver to hopefully ease my transition! Also, I'll be purchasing a darker silver leave in color depositing conditioner (probably Pravana) for the Grey roots and a lighter silver (probably Guy Tang) for the midst and ends to use maybe 3x week until it alllll grows to where I want it. Ughh. But I also don't have the patience to do what you did and I really don't want to keep applying a toner to my hair to keep it silver so I'm praying this works....I'm committed!! And your hair looks FABULOUS!!💖
I'm from the US. I've gotten a few comments, but not as many lately. Some have come from my younger sisters, who dye their hair, and are a bit worried about looking older than they are. The gray hair grows in early on my father's side, with my grandfather's hair turning mostly white by twenty-five, and my father being mostly white by his mid forties. I had my first gray hairs when I was fifteen, and now it's a nice salt and pepper and I'm not even forty, yet. I have also gotten a few winks/smiles from people who seem to think that I'm a cougar to my baby-faced hubby, who is actually a few years older than me. On the topic of doing things differently, I've seen too many people get overly critical and/or practically lose their minds when someone indicates that they have a food allergy or intolerance.
Agreed. I had a friend who was a vegetarian and it drove her Mom crazy. Her Mom even would purposefully cook with chicken broth and lie about it. My friend had to confront her, but the Mom just could not TAKE it that she had beliefs that were different from the way she was raised.
I went gray and someone asked me if I was the mother of my sister. Another said, she's too young to go gray and needs to dye her hair (but no I am not). And I was always getting judged as older (or maybe that is what I perceived) because getting older is hard). I loved how healthy my gray hair felt. I hated how cold it was. So, I went back to streaking my hair (On my own) with blonde to warm up the cold (at eleast for a while.) It probably looks terrible but even yesterday my hairdresser (who only cuts my hair said, "you look good". In short, I felt the gray made me look older and I wish this wasn't the case. I don't mind looking my age, but are we just conditioned because we have been dying our hair for so long? I think it is uncomfortable.
I really do think we are conditioned to equate gray hair with old thanks to 100 years of advertising that told us (and our grandparents) that was the case. I really think it everyone just let their hair go gray, it would be more acceptable as just another shade of hair color. But you have to do what works for you ♥
I have run into this situation in a very similar way in regard to me no longer drinking alcohol. It is so weird. I never bring it up except to politely say no when offered a drink. People act so weird like i am judging them.
This happens to people all over who change religion or lose religion and those who stop eating meat and dairy. Its weird, its almost like just existing in a different way is too much for some.
Hi, Alice! I'm sorry to hear that - some people do experience texture changes. Joli Campbell of QuickSilverHair.com offers hair consultations - you might want to check that out as she really understands the science of hair better than anyone around. I'm sure she could help you.
Hi I am Margaret from New Zealand, I often get a screwed up going to puke face from my mother in law reg Gray hair, she obviously has issues about it. But it's her who has the issue not me.😊
That's so irritating! The older generation really seems to have more of a problem with it than the younger - women in their 20s and 30s are especially supportive (in general).
I box dyed my very dark brown hair lighter and lighter brown, then started to grow in my silver in 2018. I got about half way, but wasn't ready, so did blonde highlights for several years. The bleach destroyed my hair so I went back to dark brown recently. I've had a reaction to the dye, nothing horrendous, but terrible itching for 2 days, I've also noticed a lot of hair loss. I have now decided I'M FINALLY READY!!! It's going to be tough, but I'm also excited! Did anyone get thicker hair after they stopped the box dyes?
Hi, Jenny! My hair definitely got thicker once I ditched the dye, and I've heard that from a number of my readers as well. I used to lose so much hair that I had to buy a special hair catcher for my tub (!!). No more. Best of luck to you for a wonderful transition!
Jenny, I got my beautiful thick and shiny hair back. My gray pattern is so much better than I could have imagined. I wear a pixie and look younger than I did with longer, darker hair that was washing me out. I haven’t had/heard a single negative remark but it might be because people in my life wouldn’t dare! I have black hair naturally and I’m not going to lie, it stunk to let my dark color grow out (thus a pixie at 16 months). Katie is so right about everything. Her advice is solid and the silver community has been a blessing. Let’s go!🎉
I think your hair looks fantastic but the only person whose opinion counts is YOU, of course ♥️ This post has a lot of suggestions if you’re feeling iffy about your hair : katiegoesplatinum.com/hate-gray-hair/
Well I wanted to let my hair grow out after 50 yrs of being a red headed. So I used 1/2 inch clippers and cut away all the back except the top. So I bleach the top thinking it would come out gray, it did not….bleached blond, ugh. So I colored top grey and didn’t use any measuring, still yellow. So finally today used L’Oréal Soft Silver Blond 8S….much, much better. Got a soft grey blond, which I think I will start using til my gray comes out🤪🤪🤪🤪
I have only received a single comment on going grey which is now complete. That was from a close friend who has tried to get me to change my mind! Otherwise, no comments at all!
I live in PA. I have colored my hair black(box dye) for 20 years or so. I stopped coloring in December. My hair grows super slow. It is now turning redish/ brassy. Has anyone used Go Grey Remover and Revitalize Treatment? I want to get the box dye gone.
Hi, I distributed some boxes of that to my followers a while back (I couldn’t test it on myself since I’m already gray) and (of course) I warned them that I wasn’t sure if it would damage/discolor their hair. The good news is, all the feedback I received was positive. It doesn’t appear to be harsh, which is a relief. The effect was more mild than some of them hoped for, but they were pleased. For the grassiness, have you tried blue shampoo?
its funny how our experiences go...I have only been all gray for a couple of months, having cut off this outside layer of dyed blonde which totally concealed all the gray hair from 9 months of grow out. no matter what I did, that stubborn blonde was always showing front and center. I got sick of waiting for it to grow long and I used a razor tool to shag out my hair. I was stunned at how much silver hair was underneath it. so now I go out in the world and get very interesting stares, and I forget I have gray hair! I will be thrilled when it gets more chin length but its already growing much faster than ever before. I never considered this decision to be one which would evoke these kinds of strong reactions so I guess I better get ready.
It's great that your hair is growing faster than ever before! I bet it looks great! RE: the comments, it's just a good idea to prepare a few stock answers. I'm not always great at thinking on my feet, personally!
@@KatieGoesPlatinum Yes - I think you are right. I saw some disapproving stares from coworkers and before they could pounce, I said "I cant wait to be a gray haired old lady, so fun!". Silence. lol.
I let my gray hair grow three years after I got first gray hairs, some 15 years ago, I was the first of my friends to do so, and if anybody asked me, I said the truth: I can't be bothered with colouring my hair every week, and white hair look groos when they are alreay at half centimeter long. Then they would ask how to do it. Cold turkey, I would say. Now majority of my friends have their natural grays and they all look better. Their hair look healthier too. We are all now in our late fifties and early sixties. Now I hear here there is a gray hair movement .. Please, don't make a movement of growing hair, ladies. It is ridiculous. You place attention to it with that kind of nonsense.
That's great that you and your friends embraced your grays and are happy with it! I have to disagree about the gray hair movement, though - it's not just about gray hair, it's about empowering women to feel comfortable taking a different path than society tells them to (whether that be for gray hair or any other choice). xoxo
That’s great! Are you in the USA? I only received 1 really negative comment - and also get mostly positive comments, but every so often get to be a recipient to the weird conversations i mentioned in the video. Awkward!
We agree not to make anyone’s hair the topic of conversation. I’ve experienced it for years and have never liked it. I have girlfriends who’ve stopped coloring and with their long gray hair tell me how women are so much more beautiful when they go gray/natural. So, I guess I’m an ugly POS because I color. It definitely goes both ways. USA
I agree with you 100%. I never proselytize about my gray hair to my friends - it’s everybody’s personal choice how to take care of their own hair and how they want to look. I also hate it when women comment on each other’s weight (even if it’s meant as a compliment).
I don't say WOW. I say, "Hmmmmm." To me , "Wow, "sounds like I'm offended. And "Hmmmmm" sounds like I've just "silently judged them," lol! Although I haven't received one negative comment since I've gone gray. I did get the "Aren't you afraid of looking old"? in the beginning of my transition. My response was, "Well , i don't want to look older, but im not AFRAID of looking older. But 2 and 1/2 yrs later, not one negative comment. I can be scary. I've got a very "razor" sharp wit.
Every time I tell my BFF I'm going to transition to gray she goes, Noooooo!!! I haven't made my final decision but I am getting ready by trying to get my hair as healthy as possible before deciding whether this is it or I just want to re-dye to a lighter color.
Has this ever happened to you? I’d love to hear your stories!
This is my 3rd attempt going grey. I mentioned to another woman the other day and first thing they say is , “Don’t do it!”. Or other negative comments. I would never tell someone what to do with their hair. So annoying. I want to go through with it this time because I’ve noticed the dye is irritating my scalp and tired of trying to cover up the grey .
@@thecourageouschristian i hate that people feel free to chime in on a personal decision! Best of luck to you with your transition!
@@KatieGoesPlatinum , I love how you talk about how conversations take on a life of their own. I often feel that way, even when talking about other things besides gray hair.
I have been totally grey for almost 3 years now. In my 3 years of being grey, I have not received 1 positive comment. In my experience, it feels that a lot of the insulting comments that I receive about my hair color choice seem rooted in other people’s own insecurity and fear of aging. I made this choice to be grey because 100% of my hair is grey and trying to keep up with the coloring meant I would have to dye my hair every 2 weeks or see a visible demarcation line. To transition to grey, I shaved my head rather than go the route of the grow out - kind of the rip the bandage off approach. When I was dying my hair, people always assumed I was 10 years younger than my age. Having grey hair now, people assume I am 10-20 years older than I actually am. That took a while to get used to. I could let this get me down or feel hurt by their comments, but I don’t. This whole process has helped personally in learning to accept myself regardless of what other people think. We live in an age where with social media, people are constantly seeking validation from others. Learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. We are all full of wonderful qualities and talents that go much deeper than our hair. ❤
Agreed! And it's going to take a while for people to stop assuming everyone with gray hair is elderly. Now that more and more women of all ages are foregoing hair dye, some of those outdated notions might die off.
I am SO happy that you are able to allow yourself to be the candlestick in the dark. Your flame is gorgeous and believe me, you are inspiring people. I think the natural white is a beautiful, angelic highlight. I’m glad I saw your message. 💕
I take advantage when I see that people think I am older than I actually am. No hard feelings, thought.
My daughter is 33 and has a 4 or 5 inch pure white streak which she shows off and beautiful sparkly white hairs on top. I think grey hair is unique it's totally different for everyone. So sorry to hear you had so much negativity. You rock your look!
Love the "wow" response to "I care too much about my appearance to go grey"! My hair is what it is--a mix of colors, mostly grey, thick, curly, and long. I stopped coloring 15 years ago. One frequent comment, "You aren't fooling anyone into thinking you're young with long hair." *sigh* If I wanted to look young, would I grow out this much grey hair? Rudest comment, "What's your real color?" All of them--every strand is exactly how it grows.
Gosh, those are both terribly rude comments! It's funny - I've been thinking of cutting my silver hair shorter, but part of the reason I keep it long is because it drives certain people CRAZY to see an older woman with long hair (especially long gray hair). It's fun to horrify people :-)
what? they think you dye your gray hair?
@@FreshGrey-pm4vw Who knows! It was likely an intentional jab at me for not coloring, as she was fresh from the salon in a new lighter blonde with added multi-toned streaks.
@@KatieGoesPlatinum Horrify on! 😂🤣😂 It is encouraging to see you and so many other ladies sporting long grey locks!
I also have long grey hair. One friend says cut it to look younger. I told her I want to look old. I also have very fair olive tones skin. I am called the snow queen as a nickname. I try to play up my pale skin.
I'm in the U.S. in Washington state, and I am the only one of my close friends who is gray/silver. I've heard all these things. Or, even worse, people don't say anything. Some days I have to keep reminding myself of all the benefits: no hair dying $$, no rigid upkeep schedule, no more drudgery of dying at home or worrying if I missed a spot...Favorite bonus: my hair is SO healthy now with curls galore. I don't like the immediate assumption that I'm older than everyone else in the room, but that's just how it usually goes. Thanks for posting this video!
You're welcome! Yeah, all the benefits outweigh these negatives. And I honestly think we all look great because the silver is SO flattering for our skintones (any skintone)!
My hair also got thicker and grew a lot. Even my eyebrows grew back. Those were never dyed. Not sure why, but I will take it.
First, I consider you one of my "coaches" during my transition to gray.
I retired at age 64 in Oct. 2018 and began going gray in March 2020. My natural hair color was very dark brown-almost black and that was how it was colored for over 20 years. I wanted to do this a few years earlier but did not want to be an object of office gossip. The process wasn't as bad as I expected; I wore scarves and headbands and not having my hair dyes resulted in a great deal of regrowth which was an enormous plus.
I love the way it came out; very streaky and get compliments from strangers all the time. However, some of my friends and family have refrained from commenting and that speaks volumes. I believe they were so used to my long dark hair and the gray reminds them of their aging.
My husband loves it; he grew out his beard which is completely white. I'm also not telling anyone what to do but I will support and encourage anyone who decides to stop dying their hair.
Thanks again Katie!
You're welcome! I"m honored to be considered one of your coaches 🙂. I'm so glad your transition went well and that you and your husband love it!
@@KatieGoesPlatinum that is because light hair doesn't make deep shadows, so the lines on your face seem tinier.
Honestly, I probably would end friendships and attending social events with people who mock someone because of their looks, etc.
I agree that true friends wouldn’t act this way (and if they did, they’d be dead to us), except it’s often strangers and/or acquaintances that do this. And I think sometimes even friends can be thoughtless without being purposefully cruel.
I love my grey hair! Other people’s opinions of me and my hair are not my business or problem.
From the US.
That’s how I feel, too - it just gets tiresome hearing the same things over and over again ❤️
Im in the UK, about 5 months or so into my transition and I bumped into an ex boyfriend today. We usually we have a friendly little chat and a catch up but today he couldn't get away fast enough. I'm sure it was because of my grey hair. He approached me from behind, my hair is mostly dark at the back, but when I turned to face him and spoke to him, he acted like I was a stranger and walked away. I didn't challenge it, I just let him disappear. I'm trying to not let it bother me, I didn't think he was like that. Sort of explains why lots of women are afraid to stop colouring their hair.
I hope it was something else and not your gray hair - but in any case, I’m sorry that happened to you!
The "you are so brave" has happened so many times to me....don't really think it's intentional on their part to be critical or negative. I think it forces them to accept their own issues about aging and makes them uncomfortable. On the other hand, I've received so many wonderful comments about my white hair and it always is an instant ego boost! I don't remember too many compliments about my natural or dyed hair.....almost never, but having "let it go" seems to give people permission (in their way of thinking) to have an opinion and state it.
Oh, agreed - I don't think the brave comment is critical. It just gets old having to hear it all the time. And YES - I get so many more compliments on my silver hair than I ever did on my dyed hair. That seems to be fairly common - a nice bonus!
In choosing to go grey, I realised last night that it's because I had reached the stage in my development where "I" became more important than "everyone else". Meaning, that my comfort/health/time became more important to me than other people's opinions or what they think of me. That's huge. We spend so much of our lives for other people, trying to be attractive or whatever, without even realising that's what we're doing. I was having to touch up my roots every weekend and I just got so sick of it. I've decided that if anyone is brave enough to comment on my decision, my reply will be "I'm going to go grey and I'm going to rock it!" If anyone dared to say 'I'm to too vain to go grey" I shall reply "well I decided I'd rather be my true self than fake" lol. Looking forward to the rest of my life of liberation!
Reading through all these comments I seriously cannot believe the amount of people who have had negative comments or no comments at all about their hair. Wow, its so sad. How do ppl become so cruel. Im sure you all look absolutely gorgeous
I believe that the reason people are triggered when we do something differently, is that they also want to do that or know that is the right thing to do for them but don’t go that way becouse of fear or wanting to fit in and it does trigger that frustration of not having chosen that themselves when they see other people doing it. We don’t realize but the most powerful way we speak to people is by what we do, not by what we say and some people can feel attacked or judged by what we do even if we never had any intention to attack their own personal beliefs. I know it is not pleasant when it happens becouse I’ve also experienced it myself.
I love your silver hair! I am from FL and it has been 13 months since I ditched the dye and my soon to be 80 year old sister who has been dyed blond for many years told me that I look older with my gray hair and I should dye it blond and my best friend said the same thing...I guess it is there own insecurities! I told them quite a few times that I am never coloring my hair again...don't they get it! lol...I just turned 73 last month
That's a really interesting take! I can see that. Thanks for your insight.
@@joann3651 good for you!
@@KatieGoesPlatinum Thank you! 😍
I stopped dieing my hair when I was 59. My partner had died, I was just about holding it together, and hair maintenance was low on my priority list. I bleached my hair as light as I could with peroxide, then had a very short haircut (from jaw length) then I toned my hair with purple shampoo as it grew out. It took about 2 years, similar to if I had done it naturally. I am complimented, often with how lucky I am to have such nice white hair. I always say ‘Thanks, my mother had lovely white hair, I am lucky to have inherited it’. And I don’t always keep it white, I still use purple or pink conditioner, so my hair is often multi coloured. People ask to touch my hair, they seem to think it will be like Candy floss. Here in Scotland , I don’t get the passive aggressive stuff, I must look scary. Deliberately gray 7 years now, no regrets.
Hi, Norma! I'm so glad to hear your had. a great transition and love your hair. It looks gorgeous in the photo! I have no regrets either :-)
"Wow" is good and you already gave us the best reply: going gray is not for everybody. Thanks for all, Katie. Spanish lady living in Germany for 22 years. Went grey 4 years ago and never had been involved in this kind of conversation, but in the case that this happens in the future I will know how to reply.
I'm in Canada , Ontario and I can so relate to everything you have said...I recently ran into a friend from my passed and the first thing she said was "I'm way to vain to go grey thats brave of you" I was left feeling unattractive yet I love my silver hair and yet I let her change my thoughts for a brief moment.... Thank you for sharing this just to know I am not alone with dealing with this response to my choice of going grey silver platinum. Next time I will be ready with the "WOW!"
You’re welcome! I’m sure many people (including your friend) don’t mean to be rude - but it’s not a bad idea for them to find out that it comes off that way! It’s such a weird thing to say - as if we don’t care about our looks at all because we don’t dye our hair?!
I am only 29 and I will love it when I my hair will turn gray. I loove loove loove grey afros!!
Me, too!! ♥️♥️♥️
I’m in Vancouver Canada 🇨🇦 - it’s a casual, relaxed city. Lots of women grew out their silver during the pandemic.
I love Vancouver ♥️
Isn’t it crazy how you can suddenly become the unicorn in the room in the US? In New Mexico this choice is a norm but still on occasion my hair becomes the highlight reel. It can be uncomfortable after two hours or so… 😬.
There is a psychology trick to derail a person’s train of thought and that is to say something really nonsensical and walk away while they order what the hell you just said. For instance, “you know I would have never spent that two years in college if it hadn’t been for that horse.”
Thanks, Joli!
I like your idea - I’m going to have to try it!
I love that silver hair isn’t that unusual where you live. It’s definitely more common here in Los Angeles than it was five years ago but sometimes I’m still the only person in the room.
What a treat to stumble upon your channel today. I am in the U.S. and have had some interesting experiences with my own hair - namely loosing all of my hair during chemo after being told I wouldn't lose my hair. I was shocked and oddly enough, devastated. I had no idea it would impact me like that. During covid I decided to stop coloring and cutting my hair which is long and white (I was a blonde from childhood which is ANOTHER story for another time). Very few folks had even commented other than they didn't recognize me - but admittedly I don't see many people these days. What I find is how horrible my drivers license and ID card photos turned out in the last two weeks - I look like a ghost in yhe photos. I suppose the cameras aren't meant for beauty shots buy again, I wasn't expecting how drastic the difference from my daily look in the mirror. Hair is powerful. Thank you for this channel.
You're welcome! Yes, hair IS super powerful. You should read "Me, My Hair, and I" by Benedict. It's a fantastic collection of essays by women all about their hair. I love it!
Re: the driver's license, remember that they use fluorescent lights at the DMV.- as a photographer, I can tell you those lights are the WORST! Totally unflattering.
Hi, you look fantastic! I stopped colouring my butt- length hair just before Covid hit, so I'll have 3 years of silver growth by January. I'm an American living in Ireland. You are right, people tend not to share / over-share as much here, so I do get compliments and the odd "you're so brave" every once in a while, but that's it for the most part. I am and always have been an unconventional person who also does not get into trying to convince others to change. You are right, insecure folks in the past have angrily projected onto me about my life choices - being vegetarian, not drinking alcohol for example. It doesn't happen so much these days though. I find the more at peace I am with myself, the less it happens. Or maybe I just don't suffer fools anymore and people Intuitively pick up on that and leave me alone!
how fun to live abroad! good for you - i love being unconventional also.
That's so interesting (and not that surprising) that it happens less in Ireland! I think you're right, though - sometimes people can pick up on the fact that they should NOT comment. When I was younger, I think I projected a sweetness that made people feel free to say whatever popped into their head. Now i have RBF and they are a little afraid sometimes :-)
@@KatieGoesPlatinum, what is RFB? I have no clue what it stands for, but from the context, I think I may have it, too! 😅
@@KatieGoesPlatinum - Oh, I just remembered what RFB stands for and I do, indeed, have it! 😂
I live in Ireland and I had alot of negative comments from other women about going grey statements like"you'll be old time enough" or " it ages people" needless to say it didn't deter me
Glad you didn't let that get you down!
Thank you Katie for this video. First I’d like to applaud you for your honesty and your willingness to help others through their journey as you have shared yours. You look beautiful. Those comments from those “friends” are really more about themselves. It’s been my experience that insensitive people tend to be jealous of your successes and want to bring you down or have you question your life decisions. I have found that most of the negative remarks are from women that I have known for years. Strangers have been more complimentary especially men. The word “courageous” is the wrong “C” word. The correct word is CONFIDENCE. Those comments come from jealous individuals. They lack self confidence to stand out. You shine Katie! Unfortunately we tend to take to heart the few bad comments then hold onto the many many good uplifting ones especially when they come from “friends” or family members. And by the way I too used cloth diapers when my kids were babies and to boot hang them on the clothes line to dry. And no not in the 50’s or 60’s before disposable were invented. Lol it was the late 80’s and early 90’s. Thank you again for sharing your story and all the resources that you provide. I transitioned cold turkey just like you. Last time I colored was November 2014. You couldn’t pay me money to ever go back to dye. I’ve woken up from nightmares that I’ve been to a salon and for a trim and fell asleep in their chair and woke up with dark brown or black dyed hair.
Thank you so much for your sweet comments. I think you're right - if you're feeling confident, some people want to knock you down. It's sad, really (for them). How cool you used cloth diapers too - I loved them! And YES - that nightmare is fairly common among us silver sisters. I need to do a video about that - it's the worst!
I am from the US. The only comments I have gotten have been the exact same “are you going to let the gray keep growing?…..that’s so brave!” Brave seems so strange to me but I get it.
I will admit that before I started to transition I would have been guilty of saying my gray wouldn’t look as good as other people. At that point I truly felt that some people looked better with gray hair than I would. It wasn’t so much about the hair as a lack of confidence in myself causing me to think that.
I am approaching a year and I love the shiny silver I have. However I cannot yet tell what it will look like when I am done
I enjoyed this video!
Love your silver hair and you look beautiful. I decided to stop coloring my hair during covid and have never regretted it. I dyed my hair for over 40 years and going silver was absolutely liberating!!! I get more compliments on my thick, silver hair than I ever got as a brunette. Haven't got any negative comments at all. I live in the USA in the great state of TX.
That’s wonderful, Rosemary! And thanks for the kind words!
Well that’s probably why. Everyone knows not to mess with Texas! ;)
I like your "WOW" idea😁
That comes from Carolyn Hax, the columnist. She gives great advice!
I grew out my grey hair, it took a long, tedious three and a half years. I persevered with it with it for two years, mostly salt, a little pepper. However, looking at pictures of myself, I saw how flat it looked and how it unnecessarily made me look older than I was. I initially had blonde highlights put in (which greatly damaged my naturally dry hair), but it still looked ashy and flat. I have just put a mid brown henna in my hair and it makes me look more vibrant, and as a bonus, helped lessen the damaged appearance. This is my experience only, each to their own. May I also say that not once did anyone make a negative comment about my grey hair. If they were thinking it, they certainly didn't say it. P.S. I'm from Australia.
I'm glad you are happy with the henna! We all have to do what works best for us, for sure!
I am 45; my hair is 50/50 salt and pepper, when I see roots coming out in other women I don’t like it and remembered why I stopped coloring, Most of the comments I received is a question about if I am going to colored again, I just answer maybe but for now I am happy like this, and then I change the topic, generally it works and people forget about my hair for the moment, I guess my friends are just getting use to see me like this, I have to understand them too.
Yes, great point
Everyone thinks I am old. I keep getting told I need the senior discount. I started taking the discount. USA one man at a trade show asked if I was letting myself go. He was selling skin care. I said yes and walked away.
Wow, that man was a jerk!
I’m in US. I had always looked 10-15 years younger than I am. I went gray during the pandemic and have been fully gray for about a year. I get very few comments about it - one way or another. But if I get a comment, it’s usually negative. I have noticed that strangers treat me differently than when I colored my hair. They’re nicer! When my mom stopped coloring her hair, she noticed the same thing. You get treated like an old lady.
Interesting! It probably depends on where you live in the USA. I haven't gotten any negative comments about my hair since I went gray (I received more during my transition) but it honestly does depend. I've heard women in the Pacific Northwest and New England say that they get a lot of support, but women in certain cities or regions have the opposite.
Yeah, I got all those comments and yeah, they tell me that "you're lucky that your hair looks pretty because mine would look ugly". Say what? Like you, at 1:53 I hated my hair in the beginning because we have this mix of hair dye and grey hair that makes our hair looks dirty, with no shine in it because the hair dye is just past the time of retouching or redoing it, and now after 8 months it looks completely different and still changing because of course I have the grombre now.
I did it for myself and I don't evangelize anyone because I know how difficult it was for me to make the decision. I did it because I was tired of going to the hairdresser every 3 to 4 weeks and it wasn't fun anymore. That was it.
By the way, I'm Chilean, but I live in the UK. I received these comments mostly from people in my own country.
Finally somebody speaks clear! Thanks!
You’re welcome!
Hi Katie! Love your videos!!
Lucky for me I’m retired so I didn’t have to deal with comments from colleagues. I went gray during the pandemic so that made it easier to go gray. I have a small circle of friends and no one has said anything negative, but I did notice some discomfort from a few friends in the beginning. That was awkward but it’s now back to normal. In the end I think many women think about going grey but find it hard to start the process. My grey hair feels and looks so much healthier, so I’m happy and that’s all that matters.
Yes! That's the most important thing - being happy with it! So glad you love the videos.
Meanwhile How beautiful is Katie's hair, I'm 10 months cold turkey. Shoulder length brunette dyed blonde. Yeah it's stripey, it needs washed more often but it's natural, what an ***** relief. I am me and this is me. I'm taking care of myself best I can, diet, exercise and working full time. It's a journey all right and I'll be using WOW. Thanks K x
You're welcome! And thanks for the compliment! Sounds like you are on a great path! If you haven't already, make sure to check out my free download with some transition tips! www.katiegoesplatinumlead.com/10-easy-steps-landing-page/
I'm in the US. The same thing happened to me when I went vegan. All the questions about why, how, when, etc became tiresome. I would get to the point of saying I had to use the restroom and left the conversation. In a society where everyone says "you do you", it almost seems silly then when people make comments about your silver hair or any of your other choices outside of what is considered to be the norm. Since I went gray back on 1/21/22, I haven't seen my core group of girlfriends. I did see a couple of their husbands though at a funeral and they said nothing. I think the women are more prone to asking all the questions right?
Yes, it's women 98% of the time. Most of the men either say nothing or are complimentary. But you're right - we're supposed to be a country that cheers individualism, but there can be heavy-duty pressure from our peers to conform. We just have to shrug it off and do what we want to do anyway. (Which is what I always do, I just get sick of hearing about it).
I trust their husbands didn't even notice😉
I am also Vegan as of Feb this year, and I stopped dying my hair in June 2020. Both are the best decisions I have ever made. And both cause so many comments. I will say, I have had more complements on my grey hair than I have had regarding my hair in years.
I think your hair looks beautiful and so do you! I'm nearly 4 months into ditching the dye and hair is a very dark brown. I hope I don't lose patience.
Thank you, Huma! You can do this - it's SO worth it! Whenever you feel like you're losing patience, just try to wait it out if you can. You'll be happy you did 🙂
Your hair is beautiful!
Thank you so much 😀
Perfectly put with humor and lots of great insight!
Thank you, Amy!
You're very right... Going gray is not for everyone. I dyed my hair for over 30 years and relaxed it for the same amount of time before I made the decision to stop!
Yeah, I think I dyed for over 25 years. Isn’t it nice to be DONE? ❤️
@@KatieGoesPlatinum Yes Ma'am! We look full time in an RV and I just did not want to destroy the little bathroom that we had with hair dye and chemicals from the relaxer.
USA here (Northeast), stopped dying 3 months ago, I had gone 4 months before but got cold feet and went back to the dye. I'm still kind of on the fence about the whole thing mainly because my hair is long, it's below my bra strap and will take ages to grow out. I don't want to chop it all off since short hair on me is very very unflattering (I look like a troll!).
Funny thing is my mom and younger sister (who is 53) are both cheering for me to let the gray grow out, so I've already got a built in positive couple of people on my side. My mom's side of the family are all very early grayers, my own middle son who is 26 is salt and pepper. The gray is strong in our family. 😂I'm doing my best to embrace it as the roots that have grown in so far (about an inch) look pretty and shiny, I'm going to let it go till the middle of June then make the final decision. All it will probably take if I chicken out is a call to my mom. 😁
You are so lucky you have a lot of white in your hair.
I still have too much dark for my liking
So I’m gonna have to wait for idk how long for more white
Then no more bleaching yay
Your hair is lovely
I’m from south east England
Thank you!
I love my grey hair.. its so healthy and long thick shiny.. people think i get it done professionally and no I have always taken care of my own hair..
That’s wonderful! I love mine, too ❤️
This is a great video. I love these reflections on society!
Thanks, Sara!
What you said about: " I wouldn't look good with gray hair"! My response was how do you know? Try it!!
Hello from Atlanta. Just starting my transition at 72. Thanks for the great insight and the Wow comment - so good! I've not received any comments yet, but sure I will when my hair grows out a bit more (my fun retirement job is customer service, I meet all kinds).
Hi, Maggie! So glad you liked it! I hope you never get a rude or intrusive comment but if you do, I'm glad I could help you be prepared. I don't always think quickly on my feet so I think it's a good idea to have some responses ready 🙂
I’m from the US south. I haven’t had a problem. I had med brown hair that I highlighted with ash blonde for many years. As I turned gray, it just gradually got lighter. I eventually stopped highlighting it and couldn’t tell a difference. It’s getting more silver as opposed to gold but no big change. My sister in Texas stopped coloring her hair in her 50’s and went from very dark brown to really striking pure white and has gotten only compliments as far as I know.
That’s wonderful! I’m so glad you both have had such a great experience !
Looking at your before and after, to be honest, I think you look so much prettier with greay hair. Not that my opinion matters and so it shouldnt. I feel so bad for you, not so very nice friends you have!!! You look fantastic and you have given me real inspiration to go grey. Unfortunately Ive dyed my hair darkest brown, so this brings me to why Im on your channel. We should all be able to make our own choices and not be judged by that. Hell, I used disposable nappies and so did my daughter with her children. My choice and I dont feel guilty for my choices either. I cant say Ive ever had anything like youve experienced. Im glad too because I suffer with depression. I live in Australia, beautiful country, as yours is too. Thanks for taking the time to share this video. I hope you have made some new, lovely friends. Id be around for coffee and a chat about your gorgeous hair if I were your friend. Stay Safe
Thank you, Misty! Xoxo
First time here and I love it! I think this is true in all areas of life. We choose a very different path regarding to many aspects of life and it is very clear how people get triggered ( sorry English is not my first language). Great video, thanks!!!
Thank you! ♥️♥️
Your cloth diaper experience was my homeschooling experience with my boys. Lots of unsolicited advice. Sometimes I did not answer in some comments I answered. I'm in the USA.
It’s so annoying - unsolicited advice is the worst!
I'm in the UK and nobody mentions it!
Thanks for letting me know - I’m a bit envious!
In Germany I have never had a single comment about my grey hair. I am not fully grey, but stopped dying in 2018 and have salt and pepper :). Coincidently I used cloth nappies on my daughter (13 years ago) and no.one ever commented on that either.
I think I’m going to have to move to Germany! Ich spreche ein bischen Deutsch! ❤️. Thanks for letting me know.
@@KatieGoesPlatinum Sehr gut 🤗
I had some regrets at the beginning, but was fully committed to going gray and I love it and am so happy I did it. It's a very personal choice, and as you say I am not here to convince anyone. I have had many of the uncomfortable comments you mentioned (mine would be ugly, you're brave I could never do it, etc). For the most part I just nod and smile and move on. I'm not sure it really dawns on them that it could be a hurtful comment. (I'm in the US.)
I hate dying my hair, but I don't find grey hair flattering on anyone. I think it does age you, and I don't like this feeling. Some people still manage to look good on it, though. But I doubt I will. Still, I am kinda stubborn type of girl, so I am giving it a try, without conviction 😂. Let's see...
Good luck! You might be pleasantly surprised.
Oh, gosh. To name people most of us know, I LOVE Jane Fonda and Jamie Lee Curtis with grey hair. There is a woman at work who is growing out her greys and has black hair. It looks AMAZING even though it isn’t fully grown out. My mom was blond and her white hair is stunning! I think tons of women look better with grey hair. I think part of it may be whether or not they have a flattering cut and keep their hair looking nice as opposed to looking unkempt, which is unflattering on everyone.
I hope you are liking your grow out.
Hi Katie. I am in the UK and of South Asian descent. I can assure you this doesn't happen just in the US. It's universal. I am 5 months since I last dyed my hair. I went to my regular beauty salon last week after a very long time. I am not related to or friends with the beauty therapist there. She is also of South Asian descent. I was talking about why I hadn't been in the salon for such a long time, (started new job and not finding time) and then as she was doing my brows, she said "Yes, look your hair needs doing as well. You should look after yourself. You should keep doing it if you're able to until your not". By the last sentence, she meant that if you are at an age where colouring your hair still looks okay you should still do it. I was sat there thinking "What the ....?!!" By the way, I am 56 and she is in her early 60s I think and she dyes her hair. It didn't knock my confidence because as I said, I am not friends with her or related to her. She's also a hairdresser which is why I guess she made the comment. Women from my native community i.e. South Asian also have it ingrained that grey hair is for "old" people. I mentioned to a close female relative that I was going to ditch the dye some months before I stopped dying it; she looked disappointed and then started recommending a colour that wouldn't take so long to apply (since I mentioned I don't have the time to be doing this anymore). She hasn't seen me again since I stopped dying my hair. I think if she did and then commented, that might knock my confidence. Anyway, I am desparate to fully transition. It feels like the grey was coming back a lot quicker when I was dying it than now I am not! It does really feel good though to not have to think about making time to dye it. Everytime there was some event, I'd be thinking "Oh I've got to dye my grey!" Not any more.
I'm so glad that you were able to let those negative comments pass. And you're right to stay away from those type of people -they just drag you down and away from your goal. I hope your transition is going smoothly and I'm so glad you're happy to be done dyeing!
People get defensive when someone makes a different choice than they do. Happens lots with parenting: homeschooling, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, bedtimes, etc. people should do what works for them (and their family) and let others do the same without judgement.
Oh my goodness, cloth diapers!! I used them also and lots of judgment there too!
Agreed! you put it beautifully.
I only dye my hair about every three months, generally just to do something different, and I just turned 60. I'd love to know what people do who have just a bit of gray but not a lot? I swear if I let it grow I'll just have two gray streaks from my temples down... I don't see gray in other areas. My hair is very dark brown and I usually use an auburn color just because I like the warmer tone and feel it is more 'fun'. My mom is 93 and she still gets her hair colored, just to make it GRAY. Becuase otherwise she has five different patches of color on her head!
I have seen some women who let their grey streaks grow out and I always thought it looked really unique and awesome. We even had a newscaster growing up with a white streak and black hair.
Personally, I think your type of gray streaks look super cool! My friend's hair grew out that way - darker in the back and streaks at the front, and it was very flattering. The silver hair framing her face really made it glow.
I love your attitude and your hair
Thank you!
I'm 54 with 1.5 inch roots (level 5.5 on the rest) and am having babylights added this Wednesday and toned to silver to hopefully ease my transition! Also, I'll be purchasing a darker silver leave in color depositing conditioner (probably Pravana) for the Grey roots and a lighter silver (probably Guy Tang) for the midst and ends to use maybe 3x week until it alllll grows to where I want it. Ughh. But I also don't have the patience to do what you did and I really don't want to keep applying a toner to my hair to keep it silver so I'm praying this works....I'm committed!! And your hair looks FABULOUS!!💖
Thank you! And best of luck to you, Joy! I hope that works for you. If not, look at my video about the dye strip technique. That’s a good alternative.
@@KatieGoesPlatinum ahhh I'll look that up, thank you!😊
I'm from the US. I've gotten a few comments, but not as many lately. Some have come from my younger sisters, who dye their hair, and are a bit worried about looking older than they are. The gray hair grows in early on my father's side, with my grandfather's hair turning mostly white by twenty-five, and my father being mostly white by his mid forties. I had my first gray hairs when I was fifteen, and now it's a nice salt and pepper and I'm not even forty, yet. I have also gotten a few winks/smiles from people who seem to think that I'm a cougar to my baby-faced hubby, who is actually a few years older than me.
On the topic of doing things differently, I've seen too many people get overly critical and/or practically lose their minds when someone indicates that they have a food allergy or intolerance.
Agreed. I had a friend who was a vegetarian and it drove her Mom crazy. Her Mom even would purposefully cook with chicken broth and lie about it. My friend had to confront her, but the Mom just could not TAKE it that she had beliefs that were different from the way she was raised.
I m 50 and actually a lot of friends of me don t dye, it s not an issue, europe
That’s great to know!
I love it, great video!!
Thanks, Kristen!
All jealous comments! I love your hair and I love my gray grow out!
Thank you! And I'm so glad you love your hair too!!
I went gray and someone asked me if I was the mother of my sister. Another said, she's too young to go gray and needs to dye her hair (but no I am not). And I was always getting judged as older (or maybe that is what I perceived) because getting older is hard). I loved how healthy my gray hair felt. I hated how cold it was. So, I went back to streaking my hair (On my own) with blonde to warm up the cold (at eleast for a while.) It probably looks terrible but even yesterday my hairdresser (who only cuts my hair said, "you look good". In short, I felt the gray made me look older and I wish this wasn't the case. I don't mind looking my age, but are we just conditioned because we have been dying our hair for so long? I think it is uncomfortable.
I really do think we are conditioned to equate gray hair with old thanks to 100 years of advertising that told us (and our grandparents) that was the case. I really think it everyone just let their hair go gray, it would be more acceptable as just another shade of hair color. But you have to do what works for you ♥
I have run into this situation in a very similar way in regard to me no longer drinking alcohol. It is so weird. I never bring it up except to politely say no when offered a drink. People act so weird like i am judging them.
Yeah, I think making bold choices brings out some people's insecurities, for sure!
Im 53 and decided no more coloring for me. Going grey and dont care what anyone thinks.
Wonderful! With that attitude, you should have an easier transition for sure! xo
This happens to people all over who change religion or lose religion and those who stop eating meat and dairy. Its weird, its almost like just existing in a different way is too much for some.
Agreed!
The one downfall I’ve noticed is my hair is so dry and wirey. I’m use to curly/wavey
I don’t know what to do!
Hi, Alice! I'm sorry to hear that - some people do experience texture changes. Joli Campbell of QuickSilverHair.com offers hair consultations - you might want to check that out as she really understands the science of hair better than anyone around. I'm sure she could help you.
@@KatieGoesPlatinum thank you !!
I will be looking into this. 🥰🥰
You sparkle ❤️😊🌹
Thanks!
Hi I am Margaret from New Zealand, I often get a screwed up going to puke face from my mother in law reg Gray hair, she obviously has issues about it. But it's her who has the issue not me.😊
That's so irritating! The older generation really seems to have more of a problem with it than the younger - women in their 20s and 30s are especially supportive (in general).
Not only do I like your hair, I also like your brain.❤
I box dyed my very dark brown hair lighter and lighter brown, then started to grow in my silver in 2018. I got about half way, but wasn't ready, so did blonde highlights for several years. The bleach destroyed my hair so I went back to dark brown recently. I've had a reaction to the dye, nothing horrendous, but terrible itching for 2 days, I've also noticed a lot of hair loss. I have now decided I'M FINALLY READY!!! It's going to be tough, but I'm also excited! Did anyone get thicker hair after they stopped the box dyes?
Hi, Jenny! My hair definitely got thicker once I ditched the dye, and I've heard that from a number of my readers as well. I used to lose so much hair that I had to buy a special hair catcher for my tub (!!). No more. Best of luck to you for a wonderful transition!
Jenny, I got my beautiful thick and shiny hair back. My gray pattern is so much better than I could have imagined. I wear a pixie and look younger than I did with longer, darker hair that was washing me out. I haven’t had/heard a single negative remark but it might be because people in my life wouldn’t dare!
I have black hair naturally and I’m not going to lie, it stunk to let my dark color grow out (thus a pixie at 16 months). Katie is so right about everything. Her advice is solid and the silver community has been a blessing. Let’s go!🎉
@@citizenjoevotes thank you for taking the time to leave a lovely comment 😊
I also get the men who want me to talk to their partners because they want them to stop coloring it, and that's awkward...
Yes! That's SO awkward. Or sometimes they'll start trying to convince their wife RIGHT in front of you and sometimes, she'll get mad...at you! ARRGH
You made me LMAO with the rescue babies... So funny. lol People take themselves so serious..
Agreed!
I've grown out my gray hair and I'm not sure if I like it. What now?
I think your hair looks fantastic but the only person whose opinion counts is YOU, of course ♥️
This post has a lot of suggestions if you’re feeling iffy about your hair :
katiegoesplatinum.com/hate-gray-hair/
Well I wanted to let my hair grow out after 50 yrs of being a red headed. So I used 1/2 inch clippers and cut away all the back except the top. So I bleach the top thinking it would come out gray, it did not….bleached blond, ugh. So I colored top grey and didn’t use any measuring, still yellow. So finally today used L’Oréal Soft Silver Blond 8S….much, much better. Got a soft grey blond, which I think I will start using til my gray comes out🤪🤪🤪🤪
Nice!
I'm in a hurry, I want to enjoy it while I can
I have only received a single comment on going grey which is now complete. That was from a close friend who has tried to get me to change my mind! Otherwise, no comments at all!
I live in PA. I have colored my hair black(box dye) for 20 years or so. I stopped coloring in December. My hair grows super slow. It is now turning redish/ brassy. Has anyone used Go Grey Remover and Revitalize Treatment? I want to get the box dye gone.
Hi, I distributed some boxes of that to my followers a while back (I couldn’t test it on myself since I’m already gray) and (of course) I warned them that I wasn’t sure if it would damage/discolor their hair. The good news is, all the feedback I received was positive. It doesn’t appear to be harsh, which is a relief. The effect was more mild than some of them hoped for, but they were pleased. For the grassiness, have you tried blue shampoo?
its funny how our experiences go...I have only been all gray for a couple of months, having cut off this outside layer of dyed blonde which totally concealed all the gray hair from 9 months of grow out. no matter what I did, that stubborn blonde was always showing front and center. I got sick of waiting for it to grow long and I used a razor tool to shag out my hair. I was stunned at how much silver hair was underneath it. so now I go out in the world and get very interesting stares, and I forget I have gray hair! I will be thrilled when it gets more chin length but its already growing much faster than ever before. I never considered this decision to be one which would evoke these kinds of strong reactions so I guess I better get ready.
It's great that your hair is growing faster than ever before! I bet it looks great!
RE: the comments, it's just a good idea to prepare a few stock answers. I'm not always great at thinking on my feet, personally!
@@KatieGoesPlatinum Yes - I think you are right. I saw some disapproving stares from coworkers and before they could pounce, I said "I cant wait to be a gray haired old lady, so fun!". Silence. lol.
Canada
I let my gray hair grow three years after I got first gray hairs, some 15 years ago, I was the first of my friends to do so, and if anybody asked me, I said the truth: I can't be bothered with colouring my hair every week, and white hair look groos when they are alreay at half centimeter long.
Then they would ask how to do it.
Cold turkey, I would say.
Now majority of my friends have their natural grays and they all look better. Their hair look healthier too.
We are all now in our late fifties and early sixties.
Now I hear here there is a gray hair movement ..
Please, don't make a movement of growing hair, ladies.
It is ridiculous.
You place attention to it with that kind of nonsense.
That's great that you and your friends embraced your grays and are happy with it! I have to disagree about the gray hair movement, though - it's not just about gray hair, it's about empowering women to feel comfortable taking a different path than society tells them to (whether that be for gray hair or any other choice). xoxo
Doesn't going grey and white make us look older??
It doesn't have to! Check out this video: ruclips.net/video/RuSK91BcHys/видео.html
I am 17 months in and have had only positive feedback or silence../ lol!
That’s great! Are you in the USA? I only received 1 really negative comment - and also get mostly positive comments, but every so often get to be a recipient to the weird conversations i mentioned in the video. Awkward!
@@KatieGoesPlatinum I’m from Canada
@@amandasilversister that makes sense. Canadians have the reputation of being nice 😊
We agree not to make anyone’s hair the topic of conversation. I’ve experienced it for years and have never liked it. I have girlfriends who’ve stopped coloring and with their long gray hair tell me how women are so much more beautiful when they go gray/natural. So, I guess I’m an ugly POS because I color. It definitely goes both ways. USA
I agree with you 100%. I never proselytize about my gray hair to my friends - it’s everybody’s personal choice how to take care of their own hair and how they want to look. I also hate it when women comment on each other’s weight (even if it’s meant as a compliment).
I don't say WOW. I say, "Hmmmmm." To me , "Wow, "sounds like I'm offended. And "Hmmmmm" sounds like I've just "silently judged them," lol!
Although I haven't received one negative comment since I've gone gray. I did get the "Aren't you afraid of looking old"? in the beginning of my transition. My response was, "Well , i don't want to look older, but im not AFRAID of looking older. But 2 and 1/2 yrs later, not one negative comment. I can be scary. I've got a very "razor" sharp wit.
It’s good to be scary! Apparently, i look too friendly because people feel free to say insensitive things to me. I need to work on my RBF. 😂
@@KatieGoesPlatinum yes. But even if you can't do it. A silent smile is pretty effective too.
I like the hmmm response.
Wow! 👍👏❤️
I’am 64 & letting my dark blonde hair go gray. I just want to let my hair go to its natural color.
I think that’s a great goal!
Лайк. Спасибо!💖💖😍😍🌹🌹🌹
I was put to shame by the moderator of a physical training
I’m so sorry to hear that!
Every time I tell my BFF I'm going to transition to gray she goes, Noooooo!!! I haven't made my final decision but I am getting ready by trying to get my hair as healthy as possible before deciding whether this is it or I just want to re-dye to a lighter color.
Sounds like a good plan!