Ha. Amusing to me you children still read Tolkein & Peter K. Rosenthal…when you could be reading my 26-part fantasy series The Red Watchmen Who Sleep With Each Other On Set, but I guess I must resign myself to the mediocre taste of the commoners
How this man keeps a straight face with this script is beyond me. You have to wonder if he has a personal masseuse. Someone to ease the tension of performing on camera..Maybe an eager, confident young chap just out of freshman year. Those hands, gliding over experienced flesh. Experience can be very arousing, people. You really feel it in the muscles, skin and fibres of a fellow human being. Anyway...I've forgotten my point.
@@Whitecroc As someone who has acted in comedy plays i can say it is pretty damn easy to not laugh at stuff when you know the punchline. Only if something goes hilariously wrong it could get a chuckle out of me. Also we fucked there too theater people are horny but professionals just like Peter.
@@Jebu911 I think my comment was aimed at the last line more than anything, because it seems like the kind of joke I'd make... but then, we're not arguing!
They even put some sexual innuendos hidden throughout the film. Notice that 'Bilbo' rhymes with 'Dildo' and the 'o' in 'The Hobbit' looks like a sex receptacle.
how many times the exact same comment has been posted on yt? Are you just to lazy to think of something clever , or are you really such a moron that can't.
Why are you giving hate to a simple common comment? Honestly- I didn't care for originality, I just felt the need to express myself and that was my sole thought at the time after watching this. Cliches do tend to be more common thoughts, after all.
I love Peter Rosenthal's reviews. He is sofa king insightful. He saves me so much time. I get more pleasure watching his review of the film than if I had watched it 100 times, assuming it was a great movie.
Few longtime viewers realize it, but before he changed his name for a screen name, Peter K. Rosenthal's family name was actually Norse, a name meaning wand-elf or staff-elf. This is reflected in his name Tharkûn, which is "said to mean 'Staff-man' " in Khuzdul. In Middle-earth the color of a Wizard's sweater distinguishes him from other Wizards as he wields his powerful and magical staff which grants him great sexual power and prowess over mere mortals and lusty maidens.
Now see if you can view the scene where Tauriel heals Keli the same way again. Or when Pippin kisses Denethor? Or Frodo getting stabbed by the pale king? RAPE! Or everyone pile-driving Frodo on the bed. Or even that Hobbit who's massaging that pumpkin! So much metaphor. Yes.
Um... Gollum lived in a cave paddling around in ice cold water, helped him stay focused on catching fish.. maybe Peter could try a little cold water and sushi, just..you know... to focus.
Wow highly offensive. I get it, this is the onion. But this is one of the most beloved pieces of work of all time and to just disrespect the work and the actors, it's offensive. And not to mention this guy is a creep and totally sexually harassing his staff. This guy is a disgrace and I hope he doesn't have a family that watches this and then still looks at him the same. Get a honorable job.
As completely obsessed with LotR as I am, I'm glad I didn't see the Hobbit 3: The Quest for More Money. By the sounds of tis review, it wasn't just an over-bloated and bad film... It was also very sticky.
***** I can only assume you were intending to be insulting, and I had a quippy response all ready to go, and then I saw just how long-winded you were, and thought to myself: Well, I can either read that windbag's rant, or I can do something constructive, like space out, staring at a wall, thinking about how umbrellas have evolved over time... And I chose the latter option. No regrets, brah... No regrets.
What do you think gives the films that etherial glow? The answer is the splooge of the thousands of cast and crew and animals of New Zealand. The Films are pregnant with mutual professional love, and if you've watched any of the films then so are you!
Rosenthal's viewers want to know how 'The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies ' compares to his Toranda series. They really don't care about his imaginary assignations. On a one to ten scale, Rosenthal is about a 2. Maybe with a better hair cut he'd be a 3, but probably he'd still be a 2. It strains credulity to think that sober crew members would roll in the hay with him.
That's cute. 'the orc actors". Cg is not an actor. I don't recall a single orc not being cg. Normally I respect your informed, and totally accurate reviews, but that's just sad. Unless... were people fucking the cgi models? We do have hologram technology....
Do you think the crew on Cheaters "know the rules" too? Bunch of ironic hypocrites just going at it with each other between scenes, behind their spouses' backs. They must.
... I need to remind myself to avert my eyes from any of the comments on Mr. Rosenthal's fine reviews if I want to continue to laugh and enjoy the content. Dear God, is there anybody out there who understands what I mean? Oh yeah, and tonsil hockey.
It's behind-the-scenes info like this that makes these reviews so valuable. Thanks Peter!
Oh my god it's improv everywhere.
@@TadCornell
Oh my god, he's everywhere!
Who are you
I was hoping for an update on the Kingdoms of Toranda.
Me too.
Ha. Amusing to me you children still read Tolkein & Peter K. Rosenthal…when you could be reading my 26-part fantasy series The Red Watchmen Who Sleep With Each Other On Set, but I guess I must resign myself to the mediocre taste of the commoners
One review to rule them all. One review to bind them.
Hi.
@@BNK2442 fuck off
@@andersgale9544 I love you
One review to bring them all. And in the darkness, fuck them
...One review to swoon them all. And in the darkness fvck them.
I worked on "Penguins of Madagascar" and I can confirm this is how it goes.
Which environment is more fantastical and perverse? Middle Earth or Peter K. Rosenthal's erotic imagination?
My Damn Channel both combined is more my cup of tea
the Kingdoms of Toranda
How this man keeps a straight face with this script is beyond me. You have to wonder if he has a personal masseuse. Someone to ease the tension of performing on camera..Maybe an eager, confident young chap just out of freshman year. Those hands, gliding over experienced flesh. Experience can be very arousing, people. You really feel it in the muscles, skin and fibres of a fellow human being.
Anyway...I've forgotten my point.
That's why he's a professional and you're not.
@@Whitecroc As someone who has acted in comedy plays i can say it is pretty damn easy to not laugh at stuff when you know the punchline. Only if something goes hilariously wrong it could get a chuckle out of me. Also we fucked there too theater people are horny but professionals just like Peter.
@@Jebu911 I think my comment was aimed at the last line more than anything, because it seems like the kind of joke I'd make... but then, we're not arguing!
@@Whitecroc yeah these are all gold i just binge watched all of these. Good satire is hard to find.
I thank Mr. Peter Rosenthal for his invaluable insight into the filmmaking process.
What he says kinda makes sense...
If it's anything like the olympics it's true. Except the army of CGI creatures.
ssevf and even make new ones.
Duhya Are you insane? They are totally fucking all of those computer animations. :)
Peter always tells the honest truth. dont think further than what he has given..or u will die
Gage Eakins Peter Jackson personally provided oculus rifts to everyone on set so they could get their fuck on.
Once again, Peter K. Rosenthal really nailed it. No fucking pun intended.
Ha, and there goes another pun.
you really SCREWED up in terms of not making puns it really SUCKS
"You shoot, you fuck around a little bit...you go home." Wiser words have never been spoken.
So happy to hear about this behind-the-scenes "fuck fest". Bravo!
College humor is watching Onion! This is like Futurama watching Rick&Morty!
Was Onion an inspiration?
"...sometimes nasty sex." omg that killed me lol
this is one of the best reviews yet, peter. always an impressive, in depth, intellectual and honest review! as always, ur fkn awesome.
I want to see 3 three hour videos of this review!
Maybe they could give you some pointers on how to be funny again while they are at it.
+Ryan Graham ouch man
Same
Peter Rosenthal is the only film critic I listen to.
Rosenthal gets right to the essence of the final Hobbit film.
I figured everyone wanted to become an actor not because of the "art," but because of the unrelenting fuck piles that go on behind the scenes.
Will never think of the make-up chair experience the same again.
now this is the kind of stuff real critics should talk about
This might be the best film review of anything EVER.
Hope Peter gets cast in The Hobbit IX and fulfills this dream
This guy is gold. A gift that keeps giving
Peter K. Rosenthal gets possessed by my film teacher.
This might be Mr Rosenthal 's magnum opus. *Chef's kiss Bravo, good sir. Bravo
Let's not forget the unbelievable amount of people who've had sex with the dragon!
The more I watch, the more I am convinced this guy is the GOAT!
Only Peter K. Rosenthal can handle behind the scene film documentaries with such intimate descrection.
They even put some sexual innuendos hidden throughout the film. Notice that 'Bilbo' rhymes with 'Dildo' and the 'o' in 'The Hobbit' looks like a sex receptacle.
This is one of the very few good series left at the onion, but my god is it great.
It's good that Rosenthal really brings our minds to what really matters; fucking.
Meanwhile a huge fuckfest is going on in the comments, just think about how many people commented.
Cloud, none of the people commenting on RUclips ever get laid. That's just physically impossible.
... The fuck did I just watch?
I agree....I am scared.
how many times the exact same comment has been posted on yt? Are you just to lazy to think of something clever , or are you really such a moron that can't.
Why are you giving hate to a simple common comment? Honestly- I didn't care for originality, I just felt the need to express myself and that was my sole thought at the time after watching this. Cliches do tend to be more common thoughts, after all.
*The cg artists of Rocket Raccoon were rigging bones behind the scenes, if you know what I mean.*
Great, now I can't get the image of Bombur and Bolg going at it in full costume out of my head.
Makes sense Orlando Bloom did make a joke about being interested in making Hobbit porn
Thanks for the uploads.
Ok I think I might just have found THE RUclips channel for me
There's a condom highway you can travel along, taking you through the set locations.
How does this have only 177k views?
I love Peter Rosenthal's reviews. He is sofa king insightful. He saves me so much time. I get more pleasure watching his review of the film than if I had watched it 100 times, assuming it was a great movie.
Few longtime viewers realize it, but before he changed his name for a screen name, Peter K. Rosenthal's family name was actually Norse, a name meaning wand-elf or staff-elf. This is reflected in his name Tharkûn, which is "said to mean 'Staff-man' " in Khuzdul. In Middle-earth the color of a Wizard's sweater distinguishes him from other Wizards as he wields his powerful and magical staff which grants him great sexual power and prowess over mere mortals and lusty maidens.
Now see if you can view the scene where Tauriel heals Keli the same way again. Or when Pippin kisses Denethor? Or Frodo getting stabbed by the pale king? RAPE! Or everyone pile-driving Frodo on the bed. Or even that Hobbit who's massaging that pumpkin! So much metaphor. Yes.
I’m highly disappointed there wasn’t any hardly audible followup to this at 3:32.
He does make some good points.
This is so accurate that I can't even begin to handle it.
I didn't find the movie to follow the original book as much as he did
It's all kind of interesting but he never gets around to actually reviewing the film.
I think Thts the whole point
peter....get a room man.
"we're in a room."
"well then lose some weight."
Um... Gollum lived in a cave paddling around in ice cold water, helped him stay focused on catching fish.. maybe Peter could try a little cold water and sushi, just..you know... to focus.
Wow highly offensive. I get it, this is the onion. But this is one of the most beloved pieces of work of all time and to just disrespect the work and the actors, it's offensive. And not to mention this guy is a creep and totally sexually harassing his staff.
This guy is a disgrace and I hope he doesn't have a family that watches this and then still looks at him the same.
Get a honorable job.
you don't appear to get it
So basically, you've heard of "The Onion", but still have no idea what it is.
Well that's Peter Jackson for you, but what did you think of the review?
i dont think he was actually sexually harrasing the staff. i think they were making fun of the movie for having too much sex or something.
Plz be a troll. "most beloved pieces of work of all time" XD
They could have called them cubes
An unusually positive review from Peter..
Lord of the rings behind the scenes make up artist set role play. Truly an unhinged and under explored genre of erotica
Ahh just like church camp
i dont wanna point any fingers, but something smells fishy!
I am really surprised no one has made a Bill Cosby reference.
Best review for this movie. Very detailed and extensive.
You guys should watch the critic he made about the first scene of Saving Private Ryan.
I started laughing before I even started it
I wasn't disappointed
....this dude, is the shit bro...this dude, is the shit.
So insightful, hands down the best review of the movie!
Peter motherfucking Rosenthal..
So many popular RUclipsrs in the comment section!!
Funny thing is I worked on this movie behind the scenes and yeah, there was a lot of fucking.
As completely obsessed with LotR as I am, I'm glad I didn't see the Hobbit 3: The Quest for More Money. By the sounds of tis review, it wasn't just an over-bloated and bad film... It was also very sticky.
***** I can only assume you were intending to be insulting, and I had a quippy response all ready to go, and then I saw just how long-winded you were, and thought to myself: Well, I can either read that windbag's rant, or I can do something constructive, like space out, staring at a wall, thinking about how umbrellas have evolved over time... And I chose the latter option. No regrets, brah... No regrets.
dropUrPeaches Well, everyone shares their personal experiences on the net. He was just sharing his.
What do you think gives the films that etherial glow? The answer is the splooge of the thousands of cast and crew and animals of New Zealand. The Films are pregnant with mutual professional love, and if you've watched any of the films then so are you!
Rosenthal's viewers want to know how 'The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies ' compares to his Toranda series. They really don't care about his imaginary assignations. On a one to ten scale, Rosenthal is about a 2. Maybe with a better hair cut he'd be a 3, but probably he'd still be a 2. It strains credulity to think that sober crew members would roll in the hay with him.
What is a gaffer?
2:40 rly creepy now that we know he's a child star, but yet not entirely unexpected
This, this is the very definition of mad science
So professional as usual 😂
This movie was so amazing I love all three of them. I love Lord Of The Rings also but I think The Hobbit is better in my opinion.
They should turn the cameras on all the cast and crew rutting like beasts between takes. Make it a DVD extra maybe.
How do you get the footage?!
with great difficulty
Of all things he could talk about this movie, he talks about how much fucking is going on offset?!!!.......needs to keep them thoughts to himself!!
I want more Toranda...
Seriously, the finest show on the web.
Same thing with the olympics. Soooo much humpty dump going on.
Rickardius I mean that's more than confirmed.
The olympics are evil and they should end.
For a devoted Christian Peter sure is pervy.
Feels like The Onion is just running out of jokes
he didn't talk about the movie though, just people fucking. wtf?!
Go to wikipedia and look up "The Onion"... 20 yrs ago.
LOL! This review was so spot on!
That's cute. 'the orc actors". Cg is not an actor. I don't recall a single orc not being cg. Normally I respect your informed, and totally accurate reviews, but that's just sad. Unless... were people fucking the cgi models? We do have hologram technology....
You're a fucking moron.
Do yourself a favor and look up cgi mocap you senseless sack of lard.
+tyrongkojy it's ducking hilarious how these three losers think the orcs were predominately mocapped instead of full cg.
+tyrongkojy never mind, just one fucking loser. My bad. Should have read the names more closely.
vr
Ok I'm sold. I will watch this movie.
Do you think the crew on Cheaters "know the rules" too? Bunch of ironic hypocrites just going at it with each other between scenes, behind their spouses' backs. They must.
this is all true I was there
I wanted a review......not an f-word fest.
Once was acceptable....even got me to chuckle.
But people wonder why I am still a virgin.......
Do they? Don't come to the Onion for an actual review lol
I'm going to see this movie tomorrow but I don't think I can take it seriously any more. It will probably be more entertaining to be honest.
... I need to remind myself to avert my eyes from any of the comments on Mr. Rosenthal's fine reviews if I want to continue to laugh and enjoy the content. Dear God, is there anybody out there who understands what I mean? Oh yeah, and tonsil hockey.
classy, crude low blow, get it blow; really there is so much better you people could have come up with?
i was like "when is he going to start talking about the movie??", and then i finally got the joke. hahahaha.
Oh my.... but I suppose it would make sense...
My bum hurts. Am I gay?
I came here for more taranda I am disappointed
Yup, they're all banging.
he has a point
I don't think this one aged well.
He didn't say it wasn't consensual.
Freud Intensifies
This guy is a shill , that's why he didn't do jokes about how mediocre the movie was.
So this movie's a clusterfcku?!