@@ErutaniaRose So true! My roommate is ACE, and I didn't realize that he didn't choose to think sexually. He just doesn't naturally because that's his state of mind. It seems simple in hindsight. Like, ofc duh, but for the majority, like always, it's hard to think empatheticitly to the minority.
This reminds me. I live in a country that's very much homophobic, bigoted, etc. and on the way home from school, my friend's 8 year old daughter asked her: "Mom, what's lesbian? And what's gay?" Her mom told her: "You know how mom and dad love each other? Lesbian is when two girls love each other, and gay is when two boys love each other." That's all the explanation that was needed, she went: "Okay." And she moved on from the topic.
I had a very similar experience with my own parents as a child. Other than the one time I asked, they never talked about it or treated it as weird or wrong, so I didn't grow up concerned about it. Homosexuslity, like everything, just is.
Yeah, it's bs explaining the basic stuff will "confuse children". Not telling them anything or being weird about things _will_ confuse them. I've explained stuff like being transgender to my kids as soon as they got interested about the concepts of sex and gender. Which was something like 4yo. The basics can be explained in 3 sentences. My country's main language doesn't have linguistic genders and our pronouns aren't gendered either, so also makes things easier and there's one less level of gendered binary separation.
I'm a lesbian and have ran into unicorn hunters many times on dating apps. One of them basically lied to me. She didn't have her bf on her profile and only mentioned him after talking for a week. It's honestly so frustrating only being interested in women and having straight couples show up on your feed all the time.
Oh my god this exact scenario happened to me too!!! A whole week went by. I genuinely liked her, and then she sprung the “so we dig your vibe” thing. Nothing about it in her profile, no indication in our chats. It was so frustrating and embarrassing. The idea that what I thought were private messages between us had been read by her and this stranger. I haven’t used that app since then. The straight ppl always have to ruin it for the rest of us
The unicorn hunters are what drove me off dating apps. If I don't meet someone irl, oh well. I can't stand the lies and drama from couples who don't have a clue what they want and wanna drag me into it.
And I'm in an ENM partnership, bisexual, happy to date people alone.. I'd never try to push my partner on someone but sooooo many do! I think my point was, I'm sorry, from half of a couple who tries to make sure everyone's comfortable. A lot of people suck.
These kinds of situations have contributed to some biphobia in me that I know is toxic, and I really hate....but I'm terrified of being treated as an exotic flower to be put in a bedroom vase for a day and then discarded.
I have had the same experience. It can get so gross. I am AFAB and non-binary. I am also pansexual. Bi Men can be good, when they are single and just want fun. Where it gets complicated is when they are closeted and use women to get them guys. This is one reason I stay clear of guys who are only interested in "Tomboys".I have seen some gorgeous Butch looking women with some very shady husbands. Not my bag, at all. If I am going with a couple, it's only going to happen at an adult club where I can get help if I need it. Convention staff do not play games.
I think that student said the best thing he could to Mrs. Ziegler. The thing about how she should resign, not because of what she does in the privacy of her own home, but because she's ruining education and is extremely bad at the job she forced herself into
I'm glad that the Zieglers are showing their true colors because the more they try and draw this out, the more damage it causes to their mission. This is why the Republicans want them ousted because these allegations are an active hindrance to them. I truly hope that this goes through so not only will the victim receive justice, but both the Zieglers and GOP Republicans can fall to shambles quickly. Any obstruction against these conservatives is a win for us and we should celebrate that, just take the victory!
It’s nice to see them lose because the narrative and agenda they push is so so so harmful. I’m not part of the lgbtq+ community and I use to be conservative until I started listening to people from the other side with empathy and hearing how conservative ideas are very harmful to them. Horrific hate crimes are committed all the time towards people in these minority groups so if we can work together to stop spreading conservative ideas then maybe the violence can stop. That’s why I changed my views because yes I wasn’t committing the violence myself but I’m contributing to it in a sense because I was supporting conservative views and I didn’t want to be part of the hatred anymore I care about everyone’s rights and everyone having the right to live their lives that allows them to be happy.
I hope this also gives strength to the other victims of these right wing freeks, too! Bc we *know* there's many more out there. This is such a common occurrence with reactionary ppl, unfortunately. ☹️ Can you imagine the "degeneracy" that DeSantis probably engages in? 🤮 These religious ppl always use religion as a shield or front. Growing up Southern Baptist opened my eyes to the extreme hypocrisy the most vocal ones engage in! This story is a perfect example.
I would like to believe they won't see the other side of this and that the electorate and justice system will hold them accountable- but this past decade has made me more pessimistic about that. It's ironic that there was such a furore over CRT before all of this, because honestly Derrick Bell's ideas about interest convergence have given me a framework to understand what is going on with all this lgbt rights backlash.
the thing that stood out to me most is, when the newscaster was talking to edwards, the phrase she used "ziegler may herself be a part of the lgbtq community" because no, she's not. she could be bisexual, but if there's a community, she is not part of it, because she is not _in_ community with us, and has instead made it very clear how opposed she is to us as a community. the goal of her life's work is in fact to destroy that community, so no matter her sexuality, she could never be said to be a member of it. a lot of things have gotten me thinking about that phrase a lot, "a member of the lgbtq community", and how the way it's most often used individualizes and euphemizes the whole _idea_ of community into something meaningless and powerless. i don't like it!
@@americaisdyingslowly not gay but from those i interacted with: no, they just have to be unashamed about who they are to the point that event even if children find out about it, it's not a big deal because there is nothing to be ashamed of or worried about.
@@americaisdyingslowly as an asexual person, i think being part of the lgbtq+ community is a part of self-identification, in my opinion. i am asexual, yes, but i don't really consider myself part of the community because i don't interact with the community in any meaningful way. the idea of the lgbtq+ community is also equally flawed in the eyes of many because it doesn't account for all experiences of lgbtq+ people, and not everyone identifies with the lgbtq+ community. mrs. ziegler is NOT a part of the community because she refuses to be identified as lgbtq+, not because she's not teaching or promoting it to children, but because she hasn't identified herself as lgbtq+. just because she and her husband are participating in a fetishized lgbtq+ relationship doesn't mean either of them are lgbtq+, just freaks who force the idea that is strictly "anything lgbtq+ is sexual and therefore children should not be exposed to lgbtq+ things". the fact that mrs. ziegler is not promoting and teaching her stuff to children is false. she is forcing an agenda that is subtly promoting the idea that anything related to the lgbtq+ community is harmful to children. by being a part of the school board, she is indirectly working with children and helping make decisions which impact them. she is not teaching a pro-lgbtq+ agenda. teaching a pro-lgbtq+ agenda does not mean you are part of the community.
your insight here really points to the fact that conservatism is often less about “wholesomeness” or “traditional values” than it is just about patriarchal power - their right to women’s body’s, the voyeurism, rape culture, etc
agree with the theory that Bridget might not be gay, and that her husband has manipulated a situation to have sex with others without compromising the marriage
That's "traditional values" White Christian domination of other nations was traditional for a few hundred years now. They're behaving as they've always behaved.
I was in a "relationship " with a much older (in their 40s) couple when I was 18. I was also mostly in it for her. He showed up at my house, alone, I said no, and he left. I told her because I felt like she should know, and this led to me being pretty much ignored by the both of them. I felt bad about it for years, like I had caused problems in their relationship and was therefore a bad person and a bad friend. Now, as an actual adult, I realize I was pretty much groomed and I was lucky he didn't end up raping me. I felt this whole video pretty hard. 😢
They sought you up. THEY decided to bring a third party into their marriage, a person who is intentionally marginalized and has less voice within the relationship they are having. To blame that third party for the problems in their relationship was both hypocritical and cruel. You were used. These are bad people.
Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot that you understand. It's crazy how long it took me to understand that what happened wasn't my fault. Again, thank you. ❤️
She's lying about "It's Perfectly Normal" being for 4 to 8 year olds because the book itself advertises the reading age as 10 and up, so if a parent gives this to a preschooler, that's their problem, but also, what preschooler could even READ a book with as many words as there are in "It's Perfectly Normal"???
fr... some of the books they say are being given to babies makes me wonder if the million page copy of "our bodies, ourselves" my mom gave me when i was like 12 is now in the kindergarten section. giggling a little imagining a kindergartner carrying such a gigantic book. but seriously kid's books have always had age recommendations ESPECIALLY books with any content regarding sex ed or even puberty
they talk about "its perfectly normal" instead of the book from the same group for kids (its called "its not the stork") and it really confuses me, "its perfectly normal" is a very wordy book, no little kid could read it the other book is more simplified but still talks about consent and puberty (my mother read that book to me when i was little and im glad she never lied about that kind of thing)
@helena4440 yes, true. It's just wild to me that USA conservatives will promote "liberty" and "freedom" and also try to squash freedom of speech and marginalise minorities.
A conservative couple hit on me (it was mostly the guy) when I was 16 and picking up food from a Chinese restaurant for my family at 5 pm on a weekday like...wtf o.O. (I knew they were conservatives because of the obnoxious bumper stickers on their car lmao). The lady just stood there silent and stonefaced once she realized I was uncomfy and her husband just kept talking and wouldn't stop. Also she was pretty and nice while he was... not. 🙃 It was so awkward.
I’m so tired of this whole “rights” conversation. Homosexuals literally have ALL the rights heterosexual people have, if not a little more. What do you guys even want?
@@LFanimes333??? the first 10 minutes of this video are about how florida is (and has been) restricting queer rights. pls watch at least the start of the video before u comment uninformed bs
I am sorry, but do we now have to make it clear we don't want strange men showing up at our homes even when we decline the sex??the non- consent was there the whole way. Plus he showed disinterest to her, so his intent was malicious. That's terrifying.
@tygerchickchibi yup, exactly. I guarantee he felt emasculated when the victim said she was only in it for his wife, and as a result he decided to punish her.
My ex husband pressured me into a sexual relationship w another woman. 10 yrs later my best friend and I are still so happy together. Be careful what you wish for guys…. You just might get it🤷🏻♀️
Ya saw a reddit AITA post where a guy pressured his wife into an open marriage and then was upset that she kept getting tons of guys, and he hadn't had much luck. he said she wasn't as attentive or giving all that sexual desire to him anymore like she used to. He wanted to stop the open marriage, but she doesn't want to stop now, and he's super butthurt, but he didn't think he was an ahole. Reddit said stay mad about it DA.
@@emilyrlnDude thought it was still his day, but those days passed by him a long time ago. I know several middle aged men that are bitter about not getting as much, or at all game, anymore. It's mostly to due with their misogynistic views that they can't get laid, but if you explain that to them they roll their eyes. Oh welll
The hypocrisy is infuriating. These are the types of peopIe that dont want basic rights for non-cishet peopIe and want to controI women's sxuaIity, then turn around and do THIS.
You know what's more depressing? It isn't hypocrisy. Pretty women of whatever identity existing to be used for the sexual pleasure of white cishet 'family value' types FITS PERFECTLY WITHIN THEIR VALUES. Slave owners been doing this always. You don't have to value someone's humanity to sexually objectify them. In fact, that's very often the point. 😒
"Rights for me, not for thee." The gay and trans people who sell out and become Pick Me conservatives do this all the time. They believe their protective shield of money and privilege will keep them safe.
Id say, unfortunately, r-wording a woman who is at least bi actually really is an extension of what they are preaching. Also, people that are horrible vermin like this usually are very free in doing all kinds of morally corrupt shit in their private lives
@@MrDucksBill that they want to criminalize lgbt people but then in secret they participate in acts that sexualize those same criminalized people?? You can't be this dense babe
I hate the whole “kids shouldn’t talk about that” argument because I guarantee they wouldn’t have an issue with what the kids were saying to and calling me at that age
Yeah that’s one of the first things I felt as I was reading it. I’m proud she immediately recognized it and had the strength to say so!! Took me years to
It was very smart. She knew what his excuse would be and laid a paper trail to prove what she was experiencing before he could try and make the case that she actually wanted it. I don’t trust that the legal system will do right by her. But she clearly has seen how these cases go and she did everything she could to establish her story.
I have been trying to tell fellow liberals that they shouldn’t ban books with sexual assault mentioned from teens reading it. For some reason they were trying to argue “it’s grooming” for an adult to recommend a teen a book with sexual assault. Even liberals are starting to sound like conservatives to me. My exact point was yours: it gives them the language and knowledge of sexual assault looks like so they can recognize when it’s happening (to them, to others, and even to prevent themselves from ever doing it to someone). People are crazy.
Right? I laughed, when she said that being called a "racist" didnt mean anything anymore, when she is doing what she accuses others of doing with the accusations of pedophilia and grooming.
Before I delete my tinder account, in my profile I made it explicitly clear that I wasn’t interested in being a third for a straight couple. Cut to half of my likes because straight women with the classic” let’s play while he watches”. Just so infuriating because I made it clear enough but for some reason I still got those people. Either they didn’t read my profile and just assumed or they did but couldn’t care less what I wanted because to them I’m just some toy. And the kicker is I’m not even bisexual. Complete full blown non binary lesbian over here.
“I promise he won’t touch you” I don’t care leave me alone. I had that same problem as a lesbian. Bi and lesbian women are just not respected. Straight couples all sexualize us and don’t see us as people.
The thing is that other conservatives won’t look at this scandal and do some reflecting on their community’s history of hypocrisy and harm. They’ll just ignore it, deny it, and double down.
The first time this happened to me was at the LoveFest afterparty rave in San Francisco: I was by myself, dancing on MDMA, and this couple did the "Ohh wowww we couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are, we love your vibe" shpiel, but I was rolling too hard and am too socially clueless, so I was just like "[huge dilated pupils, sweating, breathing heavily] aw thanks so nice" and just danced to the other side of the room
San Mescalito, Mary Jane, Lucy in the Sky and all of the other drug gods must have been watching over you that night, making sure you were stoned enough to not notice they were trying to pick you up, and not so stoned that they were able to just pick you up and carry you off.
When Kat is talking about the Don't Say Gay bill, it's really important to note that bills like that are angry law. They're vague and can be weaponized to harm anyone the lawmakers want. This isn't about children, outside of LGBT kids anyway, it's about erasing the possibility of people learning about "alternative lifestyles" (aka alternatives from the viewpoint of the status quo). These angry laws' goals are extermination.
To add to this, they kept saying when pressed that Don't Say Gay was only going to apply for grades K-3 and then almost immediately moved to enforce it for grades K-12 🙄 So yes, incredibly vague and enforced however they want to enforce it. So glad I left that state.
I've been part of the swinger community for 7 years now and everything Kat says about the dynamics within the community is 100% true. The older you get and the more experience you have, the more obvious it becomes, and that's the reason I'm turning away from the community. I just can't take the toxicity anymore.
To me, it's been about finding those cool people who aren't like that and going to the events for them. That's kinda what I appreciate about CERTAIN swinger spaces.
@@KatBlaque Very true.Nowadays only very selectively go to parties with "the cool people :P" or meet up with them privately. This may be weird for some, but they are like a circle of longtime friends that I have sex with (some singles, some couples). But I've been very lucky to find my people. But I don't go to parties alone anymore because I don't have the energy. In my experience, it's very rare to find people at parties (especially couples) who are also interested in you as a person.
YES! That’s also a major reason I don’t participate. Swingers have this uncanny desire to quite literally never even associate with people they have once met at an event and that’s just not my vibe. Worked too hard to be proud of myself to engage in shame. My tribe would always say hello to each other if we run into each other. Some of these people will avoid maintaining eye contact if you saw them in passing
I don't identify as a swinger, but I've been in "the lifestyle" for a while (bc I'm not polyamorous, and it seems the only ENM communities that exist are polyam or swinger). I could make a whole PhD level thesis about conservatism in the swinger community. Not only is the lifestyle super heteronormative and people generally follow rigid gender roles, I've been truly shocked by some of the political opinions people thought it was safe to share with me bc they assumed I was one of them. For the record I am heavily tattooed & used to have a shaved head (currently it has streaks of neon purple).... Can't figure out what part of my appearance says "Republican". lmaoooo Edit to add: the LS community in Europe is at least less homophobic than in the US. Last time I was at LS events in France, I saw men openly being affectionate with other men, and several gender nonconforming people.
@@2stayweird You are right. At the last party I was at there were two homosexual couples and it was crazy what they were asked and how they were spoken to. it was just pure embarrassment and at the same time absolutely infuriating.
The suggestion that her husband might be pressuring her to engage sex with a gender she is not sexually attracted to, fits with her false narrative that it requires "grooming" to be gay. She is just projecting her anger at her husband onto people who consensually engage in queer romantic/sexual relationships.
"May the world come to love bisexual women as much as straight couples in failing marriages." Another aspect of the "unicorn" is she is willingb to be available to married couple without demands, satisfying their needs and will go away without complaint when the couple needs to "protect the relationship" so the unicorn 🦄 is a living sex toy not a person in the couples eyes. *edit* I just posted my comment right when you got to that point! Great minds lol.
19:09 I love that you continue to hammer home the point that an important part of sex education is understanding consent. It makes me think about the things that I heard in college coming from both men and women who weren't fully knowledgeable about these topics, and how it's really an upstream issue overall
I've been propositioned before, not just by unicorn hunters, but by guys in open/poly relationships looking for separate fun, and every time I've had to break it to them that I'm way more interested in their female partners than in just them. So you're right on the money with the bi attraction thing, lol.
the other alarming aspect of the unicorn usually being the "more out" one is that there is less protection (both legally and societally) for queer people, whereas the couple can retreat into the safety of heterosexuality/"sanctity of marriage"
I went to a swinger club with a conservative friend once. He was actively looking for experiences with a guy. Despite this, he still identifies as heterosexual and complains about the "woke agenda". The mental gymnastics of these people are baffling.
I was a unicorn once and I felt like I was tricked. I was young and not doing well mentally. When I went over I realized that the female partner wasn’t there and it was just the male partner. I now understood that this man lied to me and the wife was probably unaware of me. I felt so disgusted that I took the longest hot shower I could and scrubbed myself twice
@@KatBlaque I really appreciate that. I definitely felt a lot of shame about it and it took a lot of healing to get past it. I definitely grown to have a lot of trust issues especially with men
@@meggerz5687 While it's 'not all men' theamount of them that ARE 'that man', and their family, friends, coworkers etc KNOW he is like that and says/does NOTHING. But oh sure, everyone has to mention that while we have society wide issues with men, its not "all men". So fcking annoying that they are complaining even a peep that their actions need to be looked at with scrutiny. If they called out 'their boys', they would earn trust, but that's so rare from a guy that DIDN'T grow up with sisters.
@@meggerz5687You aren't the only one .. rape by deception is still rape, however difficult it is for some people to understand. It wasn't your fault, only if one has been there themselves they can understand the pressure and fear.
As a bi women I have avoided the entire swinger community for the reasons you describe. I usually end up at BDSM events where there are still a lot of problems but at least in my experience have been more bi-positive spaces. (You've also spoken about being in the BDSM community and at least in New England and the Mid-Atlantic the BDSM and swinger communities and events tend to be separate.)
On the West Coast larger cities have private clubs with separate nights. It's more monitored. Everything has changed since the 90's when someone would invite a person they like to a private party with a card. I was around pre Internet. Everyone had a "green sheet". None of this FetLife BS.
@@jerrimenard3092 Yup, I've been to plenty of parties where you've had to sign a contract before entering. The good parties would actually kick people out if they broke the contract. The bad parties it was just a meaningless piece of paper.
I think i must give off a ""'vibe""' to these sorts of people because the amount of times ive been clearly clocked as a bi femmeish presenting person and approached by married couples (even when ive been out on a date!) is absolutely wild, its always really uncomfortable
As much as I hate the stuff happening in my state (especially being trans myself), this is admittedly a bit funny on some level, but mostly sad and disgusting Most of the individual people I've spoken to are supportive of queer people, but with what the state government has done, I don't blame people for entirely avoiding the state. As a Floridian, I would like to apologize to every queer person for what the Floridian state government has done
I'm a queer socialist from Denmark. Both Scott and DeSantis has stated tham I'm not welcome in that state. So of course I'm not visiting. A lot of wealthy Danes I know are taking their money elsewhere when going on vacation. The world is huge and Fl is small in comparison.
Yeah I’m thinking about going there for college but as a trans person myself it’s definitely making me reconsider since I might not get gender affirmation care so :/
when I first realized I was bi I thought having sex with a couple would actually be a "low commitment" way to explore my sexuality and holy shit what you said about unicorn hunters just seeing bi women as sex toys is so damn true. a lot of conversations I had with couples on tinder were weird and off-putting and the one couple I ended up deciding to have sex with used me like a toy instead of a person who was there for my own enjoyment as well. I'm not surprised that bigots enter the swinger space because they inherently don't see us as serious or even real people.
In my admittedly anecdotal and totally non-scientific observations, Liberals & Leftists tend to go for polyamory, while conservatives tend towards swinging.
Cause leftists more so sees the third partner as a person with a fully realized sexuality and desires, while the right sees threesomes as a fetish, something to be taken on and off and to be ashamed of, and the third party as disposable.
i’d argue it’s because polyamory requires communication and trust and a genuine bond, while swinging is just a sex thing and you don’t actually have to care about the other person
I feel like its important to mention that as of yet, i dont personally feel like Sex Ed does a great job of explaining consent and all its nuances. I took sex ed in high school, ill always been grateful that my high school offered it. But one thing sex ed didnt teach me about was how important my own consent was in an encounter. Idk... I think sex ed, in its current iteration (or at least the version i experienced) still needs improvement
My sex ed was worst. All they did was show us a bunch of pics of folks genitalia that had severe cases of STDs. Didn’t teach us anything about preventive measures or anything, let alone consent.
@@ashleywatts888 exactly. I remember when, at effing 34, I first started to truly understand what consent means, thinking back to all the missed opportunities over the years for people to teach it to me. It should have been my parents. Barring my parents, it should have been the school. The fact that no one thinks it's paramount to teach young children that their consent matters is a travesty 🥺
Sex ed is very much still something being figured out. I’d agree. And that’s partially why I understand a lot of the knee jerk reactions to it. The book I reference tho, does a pretty good job of explaining that consent can be withdrawn and it’s a book Bridget has directly advocated against.
It's genuinely disheartening to hear the level of victim blaming. No matter how loose a person's morals may or may not be, nobody deserves to be violated like this.
Not even the conservatives themselves. It's heartbreaking to see "leftists" wish this kind of thing on people. I think the type of person to do that never cared about social justice, they jusy want to feel righteous while being a bully.
I had a man bring me to a swingers club. I’m Ace, I struggle with being with men. I’m not attracted to women. I made that very clear yet he still begged me to go with him. I told him I would, but I wasn’t going to have sex. He began talking to other couples immediately trying to get sex initiated. I broke off from him and was pretty quickly bombarded by other men. The guy who brought me ended up sulking at the bar because no one was willing to sleep with him when he went searching but I had so many men trying to get me to bring them to a room.
Haha yep that’s how it often goes!!! Single men are the bane of everyone’s existence at these events!! Mostly cuz of stuff like this! I always end up hanging out with someone like you when I go to these events lol. It’s super clear to me that a lot of people rush into it
As a bisexual woman, I never tell people about the other half of my sexuality. I’m afraid of being fetishized by men or women will be afraid that I’ll want to take advantage of them. And I’m afraid people will think I’m willing to sleep with anyone when the reality is I value a connection when sleeping with someone. I don’t want to be pressured into anything.
All of the stuff you've mentioned about swinger events, their perspectives of men being bi and especially pushing women to interact more with other women for their pleasure is so true. Like the moment a woman brings up bringing another man into it, their partner is offended.
This was/is so wild. For most people this would be a non story, but because of their public work it exposes immense hypocrisy (stating the obvious for sure). You can eat out anybody you want like it’s the Mandarin as long as you aren’t trying to take away peoples rights lol
I'm having trouble with the notion (from the news anchor) that having what sounds like a predatory 3-way makes someone part of the LGBT community. Just no. I'm not gatekeeping, just pointing out that it's an opt-in community and she opts out hard. *edited to add, because it's early, not saying being LGBT+ is optional, but participation in and identification with the community is.
idk, i see the point everyone is making about community, but to me it just seemed like the anchor was trying to spontaneously come up with wording that didn't sound like she was saying ziegler was gay/bi (and maybe getting sued for slander or something?) similar to how people are very careful to use the "allegedly" disclaimer
so much of this swinger culture shit reminds me of the always top dudes on grindr who "just want to experiment" and "normally don't bottom, but there's something special about you," then cry and call you slurs for like 30 minutes after. or is that just, like, a melbourne thing?
i'm glad the truth is coming out about this. when it comes to conservatives, it's never really shocking to hear about sexual violence or hypocrisy about sexual freedoms from them. had no idea who either of these people are but you did a good job explaining it. i just hope consequences actually happen for them. was also going to say that i hope the victim and her story aren't reduced to gotchas but it seems most headlines are focusing on the hypocrisy part and not the rape part.
I had my first encounter with unicorn hunters when I was 17. We were out partying and they approached me in the most cliche way lmao, they were in their mid 30s and after I denied their request of coming with them they started trying to convince me and gave me their bottle of wine to drink. I didn't realize it in the moment how INCREDIBLY fcked up you have to be to put a person (a fcking minor on top) in this situation.
As soon as I heard this story, all I could think after processing everything that happened was "I bet Kat is going to cover this." Probably the most complex and nuanced look at this whole situation.
When it was time for me to get the sex talk, my aunt bought me the book "it's perfectly normal" and that book really helped me with understanding many things about myself and others
Thanks for sharing your take on this situation! I have been a "unicorn" a few times, and I personally wouldn't have had one on one encounters outside of the threesome. I knew the couples as couples, and to have a side dalliance with one of them outside of their partnership would have felt untoward and trifling to me. And yes, I have felt like a sex toy in those situations before, and the whole scenario was as rare as a unicorn sighting, so I stopped doing it. I'm not interested in hurting people, being a prop or a guinea pig for the bicurious or starting drama: none of that turns me on. Tom Edwards is class act with his response. You have some skills at flirting! Great to see you again!
It's really important for very young kids to understand sexual things to an extent because I know I as a small child could've hurt myself. None of this would've opened me up to doing acts with others, especially not with adults. Moreover, a book like that would've been a lot more explanatory in how I was being sexually exploited by adults.
I'm sorry but this clip at 3:48 kills me... cause ultimately what she's saying is "IF YOU THINK THAT OUR KIDS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SEE BLACK MEN WITH FLOWERS ON THEIR HEAD, YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL!!😢"
It's easy for them to have such a contradiction in their attitudes and actions because for them it's not about sexual orientation really. It's about power, power and control. For them there is no contradiction.
Imagine calling queer people groomers when you literally are trying to ban a book that helps kids understand, avoid, get help for and stand up to grooming.
🙋 Something Ill add as a curiosity for fellow fans, and its more relevant to 'unicorn hunters' than the Zieglers, themselves: One of the other reasons 'male unicorns' tend to be less common isnt just because of the homophobia, but also because the kind of sex 'unicorn hunters' seek from men is, itself, often homophobic. Having been raised by parents who participate in this kind of abusive behavior behind closed doors, and having been asked to participate by non-family unicorn hunters, it's a bit gritty. Often, male unicorn hunters tend to be less involved as a couple and err toward voyeurism while the man violently dominates (a usually younger) male. Unlike female unicorn hunters, where the exploration of bisexuality tends to be mutual, male unicorn hunters are often trying to cope with repressed homosexuality and all the rage that may come with it. I say yes to bi men, but hell no to bi couples for that reason. Im very aware good couples exist, but Ive always said no because the propositions were always creepy AF. Stay safe, everyone. 🙏❤️
I get what you're saying. In my experience male-male sexual dynamics fit into an top/bottom sub/dom dynamic the majority of the time. You don't need a sperate BDSM dating or hook up website for male-male stuff it tends to go with the territory. I get what you're saying... But we really love it 😋
Of course you're right and no offence meant. I can only speak of my own experiences and those who enjoy that sort of thing. Your millage may vary and as I say I do get what YOU are saying. Fun though it may be you do wonder sometimes if there's not some repression going on and us males could be a bit more loving to each other in between the hard core kink...@@user-ki3qf7mw3m
@@a.e.3984 thank you! I meant no hate for the first comment, but liking BDSM =/= being gay And liking BDSM =/= enjoying mistreatment from experimental bi couples 😰
My parents got “It’s Perfectly Normal” for me as a kid. It’s not at all pornography; it has naked drawings of people in very plain, non sexual positions. It’s there to help you understand how puberty, sex, and bodies work. It helped me a lot. Then again I’m trans so maybe they’re onto something /s
the way the woman who im assuming is Reid just dragged Adams thru the dirt with the quick "Adams, an education consultant with *no* education degrees-"
So glad I keep hearing more and more people saying that book banning and folks who want highly censored or abstinence only sex ed sets off alarms for them because ignorance is a tool of groomers. Beyond that just wanting people to not learn about racism and injustice in our history or wanting schools to be religious and privatized, even in some lines the push for homeschooling... all setting off the sirens for oppression and abuse.
ive been saying it for years! certain people thinking being LGBT is inherently a fetish/sex thing only think that bc they have a fetish for LGBT relationships!
I think the reason that these conservative parents don't want gay or lesbian people in schools or around children is because they view us as sex toys and you keep sex toys away from kids. Instead of viewing us as fully realized people and adults who have a sexual side and many many other sides. It's incredibly ironic because many times we are the ones who are most concerned about consent and the safety of minors.
you brought it up when you read through "It's perfectly normal"; books like that give insight to the fact that other sexual orientations and gender identities exist, but also gives children the language to understand if they're being sexually abused. they want to control children in every aspect, and turn a blind eye if someone they know is taking advantage of a child. it doesn't end and begin with trying to snuff out the concept of sexuality and gender, they want children to be seen as objects, and not people.
6:04 thank you for being brave and talking about all this. Groomers certainly among other things are looking for children ignorant of sex, sexual parts, consent, and boundaries.
I was impressed by how well I was able to "call" the true nature of the Zieglers' relationship with one another and with their victim, even though I've never been part of swinger culture.
Is that what this is though? I'm not arguing, just trying to parse all this out. My boyfriend used to swing, with his ex wife. He never really wanted to get into it with me, but we've talked a lot about it. From what he told me, swinging isn't about bringing a single person into a relationship, it's about meeting other couples. And consent is this massive thing in swinging apparently. Actually, one of the things that really struck me about him is just how deep his understanding of consent goes - he told me that's where it came from. So I guess what I'm wondering, is this swinging, or a category of swinging, or something else entirely? I mean, I guess maybe it could just have been the particular "club" he was a part of... I don't claim to be an expert, sorry. This whole issue is so confusing 😕
@@justhearmeout3959I being up swingers because swingers have devoted a lot of energy to creating spaces where these relationships can be cultivated. This means they are really great spaces to make these observations. They’re also the spaces where you can see a wide range of these relationships. From the truly supportive partners of their bisexual partners to the couples who manage to be very toxic. By definition, swinging is not about this type of relationship dynamic. However, quite a few swinger couples do not want to swing; meaning trade partners. They want a single person they can both form a relationship with. If you can imagine it’s common for a unicorn not to be into both the man and the woman, it’s even less common for all 4 to want to actually be into each other. That happens but it’s pretty rare. It’s often easier to find a single woman to share. Which is why I tend to get approached so often as a person who is usually alone.
@@KatBlaque omg thank you so much for this detailed explanation, this was really helpful. I think a lot of this is hard for me to wrap my mind around because my own experience has been rather, er, isolated. Thank you, I appreciate so much that you took the time to help me understand this whole thing better ❤️❤️❤️
Omg Kat thank you so much for calling out men that fetish bi girls. I was preyed on by a male like that and at the end of it all i just felt so stupid. And i remember vowing to myself i wouldnt even bother with a guy who would be open to the idea. That was the second time in my life i felt dirty for being bi 😅
I've been enjoying the reality show stuff but I'm so excited to hear you dive into this. Also, the makeup is flawless as always; I love your eyeshadow color combinations.
I only just discovered this channel and you, so I am guessing I am late to this, but damn, you lived in Orange County as a Black trans woman? GIRL I spent most of the first three decades on my life there and lemme just say, you are one of the bravest people I have ever come across. Just existing as ONE of those three things is hard there, and you survived all three. Impressive doesn't even begin to cover it. I respect tf out of you.
I'm a bi woman who lived in Florida for a few years, and I was actually talking to a couple about being their unicorn when the pandemic hit. Being immune compromised, I was very clear that it was not happening until there was a vaccine. By the time it came out, though, I had entered an LDR with a cute Australian femme enby I met playing DnD online (yes, a I'm sapphic stereotype, I'm aware.) I mostly talked to this couple through the guy, and he was a bit short with me when I said "sorry I met someone" but this video made me wonder if I dodged an even bigger bullet than I thought. I'd done bi threesomes before, but never with an established couple, so I wasn't familiar with that scene. That poor woman, though.
I’m confused about the books she’s naming that are “woke.” Choked is about air pollution and Farm Boy is… the sequel to War Horse?? And she’s listing it right next to This Book is Gay???
Naming an organization 'Vermilion Education' is such a red flag (pardon the pun); it's almost too perfect that not only is it a beautiful shade, it's _infamously_ toxic due to its mercury content...
I am polyam and in FL, and this is not surprising. The conservative unicorn hunters where they are "clean, drama free, and fit" is such a thing here. The bicurious or heteroflexible wife and the overeager creep husband who of course will refuse to use condoms. But, bringing in exploitation, bigotry, and lack of empathy into the CNM community??? That is a hard NO from me.
A family member told me about this when we were driving somewhere when the news broke and honestly, I wasn’t surprised either, despite growing up in a fairly liberal area and raised by very liberal, although not super well educated on queer issues, parents. It’s just a very basic case of the weird mind games homophobes play, as you laid out in the video. It was sort of cathartic to realize how much of a stain this puts on Florida’s conservative school policies though. I hope the victim receives justice and this whole case just digs a deeper hole for the conservatives’ agenda to sink in.
Bless folks like Tom Edwards. I don't think I could stand strong in a situation like that, but it's imperative that those folks are there to fight for kids who have no choice but to live in that situation.
Girl! Yes....and I am over 50 and i have lived in blue states cities for over 40 years, and it was NOT until i moved here to TN that i been approached for threesomes Bdsm stuff etc....im not judging their flow but i am also a sociologists and find it so fascinating and believe that the oppression of the church has made these folks desperate. Interestingly, I have railed against ourvlical MFL so I find this whole thing insane
I used to be a unicorn for my two ex best friends. And then I realized the guy was super possessive and a narcissist and the girl was totally ok with the abuse he was giving me and when I told her explicitly that he makes me feel suicidal she still wouldn’t listen. I lost two best friends but I had to end the relationship for my own well being. It makes me feel really sad but my new partner is super supportive and awesome and we started opening our relationship and we love learning about our third partner as a person because we can’t connect physically if we don’t know who they are. Met lots of great people that way!!
Not entirely the same thing, of course, but my best friend when I was younger just loved voting Republican, and yes, also when they made anti-Gay the entire point of bush's reelection. "Let me love my gay best friend and lets go to the gay club and, and, and... let's also support their second classing and putting people into power who cause more violence to happen".
This is very reminiscent of what happened to me and I'm so glad you're covering the story. Too often, people are not educated re: sexual assault and don't really know how to process what's happened to them until it is too late and they cannot seek justice. This is why your last video regarding the It's Perfectly Normal book is very much so needed because people like the Zieglers can do what they want to victims and bank-on them not knowing how to pursue justice. We also need more stories in the public eye of people being taken advantage of with drugs and such because it is all too common and allows for anyone to be sexually assaulted if they are said to have been under the influence. It basically means that you can never be drunk or high (even by yourself in your home) because if someone happens to break-in and rape you, you'll have no recourse.
I'm so exhausted by the idea that queerness is entirely sexual. Like, dam... y'all ever loved before?
this is why sex ed is so important like it's important we understand love and the difference between romantic and sexual attraction
I ghink because sexual urges are thought of as a need, not a compulsion. Mindful thinking isn't really practiced in those kinds of moments.
For real. I feel this so much as someone on the Ace spectrum.
@@ErutaniaRose So true! My roommate is ACE, and I didn't realize that he didn't choose to think sexually. He just doesn't naturally because that's his state of mind. It seems simple in hindsight. Like, ofc duh, but for the majority, like always, it's hard to think empatheticitly to the minority.
Frfr
This reminds me. I live in a country that's very much homophobic, bigoted, etc. and on the way home from school, my friend's 8 year old daughter asked her: "Mom, what's lesbian? And what's gay?"
Her mom told her: "You know how mom and dad love each other? Lesbian is when two girls love each other, and gay is when two boys love each other."
That's all the explanation that was needed, she went: "Okay." And she moved on from the topic.
Kids are the best. I’m not christian but I do think Jesus was on to something when he said to listen to little children. They’re pretty smart.
I had a very similar experience with my own parents as a child. Other than the one time I asked, they never talked about it or treated it as weird or wrong, so I didn't grow up concerned about it. Homosexuslity, like everything, just is.
Yeah, it's bs explaining the basic stuff will "confuse children". Not telling them anything or being weird about things _will_ confuse them.
I've explained stuff like being transgender to my kids as soon as they got interested about the concepts of sex and gender. Which was something like 4yo. The basics can be explained in 3 sentences.
My country's main language doesn't have linguistic genders and our pronouns aren't gendered either, so also makes things easier and there's one less level of gendered binary separation.
this is actually the same thing my mom told me when I asked her the same thing
@@Pippis78they just don’t want their kids being “confused” into being gay
I'm a lesbian and have ran into unicorn hunters many times on dating apps. One of them basically lied to me. She didn't have her bf on her profile and only mentioned him after talking for a week. It's honestly so frustrating only being interested in women and having straight couples show up on your feed all the time.
Oh my god this exact scenario happened to me too!!! A whole week went by. I genuinely liked her, and then she sprung the “so we dig your vibe” thing. Nothing about it in her profile, no indication in our chats. It was so frustrating and embarrassing. The idea that what I thought were private messages between us had been read by her and this stranger. I haven’t used that app since then. The straight ppl always have to ruin it for the rest of us
The unicorn hunters are what drove me off dating apps. If I don't meet someone irl, oh well. I can't stand the lies and drama from couples who don't have a clue what they want and wanna drag me into it.
And I'm in an ENM partnership, bisexual, happy to date people alone.. I'd never try to push my partner on someone but sooooo many do! I think my point was, I'm sorry, from half of a couple who tries to make sure everyone's comfortable. A lot of people suck.
These kinds of situations have contributed to some biphobia in me that I know is toxic, and I really hate....but I'm terrified of being treated as an exotic flower to be put in a bedroom vase for a day and then discarded.
I have had the same experience. It can get so gross. I am AFAB and non-binary. I am also pansexual. Bi Men can be good, when they are single and just want fun. Where it gets complicated is when they are closeted and use women to get them guys.
This is one reason I stay clear of guys who are only interested in "Tomboys".I have seen some gorgeous Butch looking women with some very shady husbands. Not my bag, at all. If I am going with a couple, it's only going to happen at an adult club where I can get help if I need it. Convention staff do not play games.
I think that student said the best thing he could to Mrs. Ziegler. The thing about how she should resign, not because of what she does in the privacy of her own home, but because she's ruining education and is extremely bad at the job she forced herself into
She doesn't believe in public education so she should never be on a public school board.
I'm glad that the Zieglers are showing their true colors because the more they try and draw this out, the more damage it causes to their mission. This is why the Republicans want them ousted because these allegations are an active hindrance to them. I truly hope that this goes through so not only will the victim receive justice, but both the Zieglers and GOP Republicans can fall to shambles quickly. Any obstruction against these conservatives is a win for us and we should celebrate that, just take the victory!
Amen
It’s nice to see them lose because the narrative and agenda they push is so so so harmful. I’m not part of the lgbtq+ community and I use to be conservative until I started listening to people from the other side with empathy and hearing how conservative ideas are very harmful to them. Horrific hate crimes are committed all the time towards people in these minority groups so if we can work together to stop spreading conservative ideas then maybe the violence can stop. That’s why I changed my views because yes I wasn’t committing the violence myself but I’m contributing to it in a sense because I was supporting conservative views and I didn’t want to be part of the hatred anymore I care about everyone’s rights and everyone having the right to live their lives that allows them to be happy.
I hope this also gives strength to the other victims of these right wing freeks, too! Bc we *know* there's many more out there. This is such a common occurrence with reactionary ppl, unfortunately. ☹️ Can you imagine the "degeneracy" that DeSantis probably engages in? 🤮
These religious ppl always use religion as a shield or front. Growing up Southern Baptist opened my eyes to the extreme hypocrisy the most vocal ones engage in! This story is a perfect example.
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I would like to believe they won't see the other side of this and that the electorate and justice system will hold them accountable- but this past decade has made me more pessimistic about that. It's ironic that there was such a furore over CRT before all of this, because honestly Derrick Bell's ideas about interest convergence have given me a framework to understand what is going on with all this lgbt rights backlash.
I need to start going up to Republicans to tell them I don't approve of their lifestyle 🙄😤
That's not only fair, it's *_mild._*
So stunning and brave of you....😂
You'll have to stand in line., and it may take awhile. Bring potato chips. And a book.
they’ll take it in pride.
@@milenalm5288So original of you.
the thing that stood out to me most is, when the newscaster was talking to edwards, the phrase she used "ziegler may herself be a part of the lgbtq community" because no, she's not. she could be bisexual, but if there's a community, she is not part of it, because she is not _in_ community with us, and has instead made it very clear how opposed she is to us as a community. the goal of her life's work is in fact to destroy that community, so no matter her sexuality, she could never be said to be a member of it. a lot of things have gotten me thinking about that phrase a lot, "a member of the lgbtq community", and how the way it's most often used individualizes and euphemizes the whole _idea_ of community into something meaningless and powerless. i don't like it!
Yeah completely agree! I did not like that phrasing at all
So basically she simply sees her actual bisexuality as a matter of privilege. A privilege " common " people shouldn't have .
@@americaisdyingslowly not gay but from those i interacted with: no, they just have to be unashamed about who they are to the point that event even if children find out about it, it's not a big deal because there is nothing to be ashamed of or worried about.
@@iateyursandwiches as a gay. Yes this the idea
@@americaisdyingslowly as an asexual person, i think being part of the lgbtq+ community is a part of self-identification, in my opinion. i am asexual, yes, but i don't really consider myself part of the community because i don't interact with the community in any meaningful way. the idea of the lgbtq+ community is also equally flawed in the eyes of many because it doesn't account for all experiences of lgbtq+ people, and not everyone identifies with the lgbtq+ community.
mrs. ziegler is NOT a part of the community because she refuses to be identified as lgbtq+, not because she's not teaching or promoting it to children, but because she hasn't identified herself as lgbtq+. just because she and her husband are participating in a fetishized lgbtq+ relationship doesn't mean either of them are lgbtq+, just freaks who force the idea that is strictly "anything lgbtq+ is sexual and therefore children should not be exposed to lgbtq+ things".
the fact that mrs. ziegler is not promoting and teaching her stuff to children is false. she is forcing an agenda that is subtly promoting the idea that anything related to the lgbtq+ community is harmful to children. by being a part of the school board, she is indirectly working with children and helping make decisions which impact them. she is not teaching a pro-lgbtq+ agenda.
teaching a pro-lgbtq+ agenda does not mean you are part of the community.
your insight here really points to the fact that conservatism is often less about “wholesomeness” or “traditional values” than it is just about patriarchal power - their right to women’s body’s,
the voyeurism, rape culture, etc
agree with the theory that Bridget might not be gay, and that her husband has manipulated a situation to have sex with others without compromising the marriage
That's "traditional values" White Christian domination of other nations was traditional for a few hundred years now. They're behaving as they've always behaved.
Whoops, patriarchal power IS “traditional values”💀
I was in a "relationship " with a much older (in their 40s) couple when I was 18. I was also mostly in it for her. He showed up at my house, alone, I said no, and he left. I told her because I felt like she should know, and this led to me being pretty much ignored by the both of them. I felt bad about it for years, like I had caused problems in their relationship and was therefore a bad person and a bad friend. Now, as an actual adult, I realize I was pretty much groomed and I was lucky he didn't end up raping me. I felt this whole video pretty hard. 😢
What a sad memory. I hope you could move on to better ones.
That is really horrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
I'm sorry, you got taken an advantage of & got hit with couple privilege. I'm ENM but won't date poly guys in existing relationships because of it.
They sought you up. THEY decided to bring a third party into their marriage, a person who is intentionally marginalized and has less voice within the relationship they are having. To blame that third party for the problems in their relationship was both hypocritical and cruel. You were used. These are bad people.
Thank you so much for your support. It means a lot that you understand. It's crazy how long it took me to understand that what happened wasn't my fault. Again, thank you. ❤️
She's lying about "It's Perfectly Normal" being for 4 to 8 year olds because the book itself advertises the reading age as 10 and up, so if a parent gives this to a preschooler, that's their problem, but also, what preschooler could even READ a book with as many words as there are in "It's Perfectly Normal"???
Yeah the book literally says “for ages 10 and up” but I also think there are multiple versions of the book. I know it’s been republished a few times
fr... some of the books they say are being given to babies makes me wonder if the million page copy of "our bodies, ourselves" my mom gave me when i was like 12 is now in the kindergarten section.
giggling a little imagining a kindergartner carrying such a gigantic book. but seriously kid's books have always had age recommendations ESPECIALLY books with any content regarding sex ed or even puberty
they talk about "its perfectly normal" instead of the book from the same group for kids (its called "its not the stork") and it really confuses me, "its perfectly normal" is a very wordy book, no little kid could read it the other book is more simplified but still talks about consent and puberty (my mother read that book to me when i was little and im glad she never lied about that kind of thing)
@@Eepypwuppy-cj8yc just curious, does it also have a lot of detailed illustrations or depictions of what happens during sex?
Moms for their own liberty but nobody else's.
Or Klanned Karenhood, tbh
not even their own at times lol, so weird
@helena4440 yes, true. It's just wild to me that USA conservatives will promote "liberty" and "freedom" and also try to squash freedom of speech and marginalise minorities.
Moms for totalitarian double speak.
moms for total control (but still… freedom🦅)
It's so insidious how Ziegler lumped in terms like "groomer" with "racist" or "bigot". Those are *really* not the same. Wow. I loathe her.
What do you mean they are not the same thing?
They're all accurate descriptors for both her and her husband
@@ismaelismael8543ate
@@ismaelismael8543LMAOOOOOO
A conservative couple hit on me (it was mostly the guy) when I was 16 and picking up food from a Chinese restaurant for my family at 5 pm on a weekday like...wtf o.O. (I knew they were conservatives because of the obnoxious bumper stickers on their car lmao).
The lady just stood there silent and stonefaced once she realized I was uncomfy and her husband just kept talking and wouldn't stop. Also she was pretty and nice while he was... not. 🙃 It was so awkward.
I’m so sorry that sounds absolutely nightmarish
Ugh, to a *child* 😩
@@joycewible8816the ones these hypocrites pretend they care about.😒 empahsis on pretend of course.
@@andreja9425 Thank you! Thankfully it was awhile ago, and I got out of the situation as fast as I could.
@@joycewible8816 Right. I'm no longer a minor. But when I was 16 I definitely looked and acted 16. :/
It really is so frusturating how unsuprised I am by people like this being willing to have the Fun, but refusing to let people have rights.
Always remember their moto; "freedom for me, not for thee".
I’m so tired of this whole “rights” conversation.
Homosexuals literally have ALL the rights heterosexual people have, if not a little more.
What do you guys even want?
@@LFanimes333american 🫵
@@LFanimes333??? the first 10 minutes of this video are about how florida is (and has been) restricting queer rights. pls watch at least the start of the video before u comment uninformed bs
@@LFanimes333 You Are Disgusting
I am sorry, but do we now have to make it clear we don't want strange men showing up at our homes even when we decline the sex??the non- consent was there the whole way. Plus he showed disinterest to her, so his intent was malicious. That's terrifying.
He's a predator. Most likely not the first time he's done something like this.
He was definitely doing it to "put her in place", imo
@tygerchickchibi yup, exactly. I guarantee he felt emasculated when the victim said she was only in it for his wife, and as a result he decided to punish her.
He’s a dangerous predator and I’m terrified he won’t face justice.
My ex husband pressured me into a sexual relationship w another woman. 10 yrs later my best friend and I are still so happy together. Be careful what you wish for guys…. You just might get it🤷🏻♀️
Ya saw a reddit AITA post where a guy pressured his wife into an open marriage and then was upset that she kept getting tons of guys, and he hadn't had much luck. he said she wasn't as attentive or giving all that sexual desire to him anymore like she used to. He wanted to stop the open marriage, but she doesn't want to stop now, and he's super butthurt, but he didn't think he was an ahole. Reddit said stay mad about it DA.
@@SaintShionlmao 😂 i wonder what he thought would happen… poor surprised Pikachump
@@emilyrlnDude thought it was still his day, but those days passed by him a long time ago. I know several middle aged men that are bitter about not getting as much, or at all game, anymore. It's mostly to due with their misogynistic views that they can't get laid, but if you explain that to them they roll their eyes. Oh welll
Best ending to a comment I've seen in years.
@@SaintShion😂😂😂😂 this is great
The hypocrisy is infuriating. These are the types of peopIe that dont want basic rights for non-cishet peopIe and want to controI women's sxuaIity, then turn around and do THIS.
You know what's more depressing? It isn't hypocrisy. Pretty women of whatever identity existing to be used for the sexual pleasure of white cishet 'family value' types FITS PERFECTLY WITHIN THEIR VALUES. Slave owners been doing this always. You don't have to value someone's humanity to sexually objectify them. In fact, that's very often the point. 😒
"Rights for me, not for thee." The gay and trans people who sell out and become Pick Me conservatives do this all the time. They believe their protective shield of money and privilege will keep them safe.
Id say, unfortunately, r-wording a woman who is at least bi actually really is an extension of what they are preaching. Also, people that are horrible vermin like this usually are very free in doing all kinds of morally corrupt shit in their private lives
it’s always rules for thee but not for me with these bigots
@@MrDucksBill that they want to criminalize lgbt people but then in secret they participate in acts that sexualize those same criminalized people?? You can't be this dense babe
I hate the whole “kids shouldn’t talk about that” argument because I guarantee they wouldn’t have an issue with what the kids were saying to and calling me at that age
I don't think your "guarantee" is correct
She’s brave to tell him that she didn’t like what happened.
Yeah that’s one of the first things I felt as I was reading it. I’m proud she immediately recognized it and had the strength to say so!! Took me years to
It was very smart. She knew what his excuse would be and laid a paper trail to prove what she was experiencing before he could try and make the case that she actually wanted it.
I don’t trust that the legal system will do right by her. But she clearly has seen how these cases go and she did everything she could to establish her story.
I have been trying to tell fellow liberals that they shouldn’t ban books with sexual assault mentioned from teens reading it. For some reason they were trying to argue “it’s grooming” for an adult to recommend a teen a book with sexual assault. Even liberals are starting to sound like conservatives to me. My exact point was yours: it gives them the language and knowledge of sexual assault looks like so they can recognize when it’s happening (to them, to others, and even to prevent themselves from ever doing it to someone). People are crazy.
And as a fellow heterosexual swinger, I am disappointed to hear that no one’s doing full foursome switching. 😅
As I also like to put it: "Depicting something is not the same as condoning it or supporting it."
Liberals are conservative. Find some radical folks❤️
that’s bc liberals are conservatives lmao
@@ticcitoasty
That, and as we all know, if you scratch a liberal...well...
Surely you can't just call another politician "a law breaker and an LGBTQ groomer" in a public speech. Like how is that not slander and defamation?
It is, it's just that your government is a lawless and corrupt autocracy
Right? I laughed, when she said that being called a "racist" didnt mean anything anymore, when she is doing what she accuses others of doing with the accusations of pedophilia and grooming.
White straight cis women are the second most powerful group, they're the white man's inheriters
Before I delete my tinder account, in my profile I made it explicitly clear that I wasn’t interested in being a third for a straight couple. Cut to half of my likes because straight women with the classic” let’s play while he watches”. Just so infuriating because I made it clear enough but for some reason I still got those people. Either they didn’t read my profile and just assumed or they did but couldn’t care less what I wanted because to them I’m just some toy. And the kicker is I’m not even bisexual. Complete full blown non binary lesbian over here.
“I promise he won’t touch you” I don’t care leave me alone. I had that same problem as a lesbian. Bi and lesbian women are just not respected. Straight couples all sexualize us and don’t see us as people.
What is a non binary lesbian
I'm confused. How can one be a lesbian if they're enbies?
@@standowner6979 Maybe they present more feminine but don't identify as female so it's the closest term?
@@yukikanegawa7470 Or maybe they’re an attention whore, narcissist
The thing is that other conservatives won’t look at this scandal and do some reflecting on their community’s history of hypocrisy and harm. They’ll just ignore it, deny it, and double down.
It happens over and over and over again.
If conservatives knew and were critical of their history they wouldn’t be conservatives anymore 😂
The first time this happened to me was at the LoveFest afterparty rave in San Francisco: I was by myself, dancing on MDMA, and this couple did the "Ohh wowww we couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are, we love your vibe" shpiel, but I was rolling too hard and am too socially clueless, so I was just like "[huge dilated pupils, sweating, breathing heavily] aw thanks so nice" and just danced to the other side of the room
San Mescalito, Mary Jane, Lucy in the Sky and all of the other drug gods must have been watching over you that night, making sure you were stoned enough to not notice they were trying to pick you up, and not so stoned that they were able to just pick you up and carry you off.
@@arcadiaberger9204The Goldie Locks zone 😆😌🥳
What they heck. ??????.
Thankfully
When Kat is talking about the Don't Say Gay bill, it's really important to note that bills like that are angry law. They're vague and can be weaponized to harm anyone the lawmakers want. This isn't about children, outside of LGBT kids anyway, it's about erasing the possibility of people learning about "alternative lifestyles" (aka alternatives from the viewpoint of the status quo). These angry laws' goals are extermination.
That's what is so infuriating about the bill. It's so vague they can claim it isn't homophobic but they can use it to target people. Just nasty.
To add to this, they kept saying when pressed that Don't Say Gay was only going to apply for grades K-3 and then almost immediately moved to enforce it for grades K-12 🙄 So yes, incredibly vague and enforced however they want to enforce it. So glad I left that state.
@@MrDucksBill So, that's just a lie.
This thread is basically a groomers’ circle jerk.
@@MrDucksBillyes we know it isn’t actually called the don’t say gay bill. That’s explicitly referenced in this video
I've been part of the swinger community for 7 years now and everything Kat says about the dynamics within the community is 100% true. The older you get and the more experience you have, the more obvious it becomes, and that's the reason I'm turning away from the community. I just can't take the toxicity anymore.
To me, it's been about finding those cool people who aren't like that and going to the events for them. That's kinda what I appreciate about CERTAIN swinger spaces.
@@KatBlaque Very true.Nowadays only very selectively go to parties with "the cool people :P" or meet up with them privately. This may be weird for some, but they are like a circle of longtime friends that I have sex with (some singles, some couples). But I've been very lucky to find my people. But I don't go to parties alone anymore because I don't have the energy. In my experience, it's very rare to find people at parties (especially couples) who are also interested in you as a person.
YES! That’s also a major reason I don’t participate. Swingers have this uncanny desire to quite literally never even associate with people they have once met at an event and that’s just not my vibe. Worked too hard to be proud of myself to engage in shame. My tribe would always say hello to each other if we run into each other. Some of these people will avoid maintaining eye contact if you saw them in passing
I don't identify as a swinger, but I've been in "the lifestyle" for a while (bc I'm not polyamorous, and it seems the only ENM communities that exist are polyam or swinger). I could make a whole PhD level thesis about conservatism in the swinger community. Not only is the lifestyle super heteronormative and people generally follow rigid gender roles, I've been truly shocked by some of the political opinions people thought it was safe to share with me bc they assumed I was one of them. For the record I am heavily tattooed & used to have a shaved head (currently it has streaks of neon purple).... Can't figure out what part of my appearance says "Republican". lmaoooo
Edit to add: the LS community in Europe is at least less homophobic than in the US. Last time I was at LS events in France, I saw men openly being affectionate with other men, and several gender nonconforming people.
@@2stayweird You are right. At the last party I was at there were two homosexual couples and it was crazy what they were asked and how they were spoken to. it was just pure embarrassment and at the same time absolutely infuriating.
The suggestion that her husband might be pressuring her to engage sex with a gender she is not sexually attracted to, fits with her false narrative that it requires "grooming" to be gay. She is just projecting her anger at her husband onto people who consensually engage in queer romantic/sexual relationships.
"Every conservative accusation is an....." you know the rest
a* confession.
@@teehee4096 Or, "an admission".
Either one will do.
"May the world come to love bisexual women as much as straight couples in failing marriages."
Another aspect of the "unicorn" is she is willingb to be available to married couple without demands, satisfying their needs and will go away without complaint when the couple needs to "protect the relationship" so the unicorn 🦄 is a living sex toy not a person in the couples eyes.
*edit* I just posted my comment right when you got to that point! Great minds lol.
TRUTH
Misogyny at its fucked up finest
19:09 I love that you continue to hammer home the point that an important part of sex education is understanding consent. It makes me think about the things that I heard in college coming from both men and women who weren't fully knowledgeable about these topics, and how it's really an upstream issue overall
Totally
I've been propositioned before, not just by unicorn hunters, but by guys in open/poly relationships looking for separate fun, and every time I've had to break it to them that I'm way more interested in their female partners than in just them. So you're right on the money with the bi attraction thing, lol.
the other alarming aspect of the unicorn usually being the "more out" one is that there is less protection (both legally and societally) for queer people, whereas the couple can retreat into the safety of heterosexuality/"sanctity of marriage"
As a poly person living in the south... this wasn't surprising at all!!!
I went to a swinger club with a conservative friend once. He was actively looking for experiences with a guy. Despite this, he still identifies as heterosexual and complains about the "woke agenda". The mental gymnastics of these people are baffling.
“Every accusation is a confession” needs to be printed on tee’s and handed out to conservatives
I was a unicorn once and I felt like I was tricked. I was young and not doing well mentally. When I went over I realized that the female partner wasn’t there and it was just the male partner. I now understood that this man lied to me and the wife was probably unaware of me. I felt so disgusted that I took the longest hot shower I could and scrubbed myself twice
If it helps, you’re one of so many people who’ve had this experience. It’s not your fault❤️
@@KatBlaque I really appreciate that. I definitely felt a lot of shame about it and it took a lot of healing to get past it. I definitely grown to have a lot of trust issues especially with men
@@meggerz5687 While it's 'not all men' theamount of them that ARE 'that man', and their family, friends, coworkers etc KNOW he is like that and says/does NOTHING.
But oh sure, everyone has to mention that while we have society wide issues with men, its not "all men". So fcking annoying that they are complaining even a peep that their actions need to be looked at with scrutiny.
If they called out 'their boys', they would earn trust, but that's so rare from a guy that DIDN'T grow up with sisters.
@@meggerz5687You aren't the only one .. rape by deception is still rape, however difficult it is for some people to understand. It wasn't your fault, only if one has been there themselves they can understand the pressure and fear.
Its so common for these types of hypocrites to be found out, its basically a trope.
Not gonna lie the victim's story made me shiver.... it literally sounds like a scene out of a horror movie.
As a bi women I have avoided the entire swinger community for the reasons you describe. I usually end up at BDSM events where there are still a lot of problems but at least in my experience have been more bi-positive spaces. (You've also spoken about being in the BDSM community and at least in New England and the Mid-Atlantic the BDSM and swinger communities and events tend to be separate.)
They’re separate here as well.
On the West Coast larger cities have private clubs with separate nights. It's more monitored. Everything has changed since the 90's when someone would invite a person they like to a private party with a card. I was around pre Internet. Everyone had a "green sheet". None of this FetLife BS.
@@jerrimenard3092 Yup, I've been to plenty of parties where you've had to sign a contract before entering. The good parties would actually kick people out if they broke the contract. The bad parties it was just a meaningless piece of paper.
Very separate throughout the west coast as well.
I think i must give off a ""'vibe""' to these sorts of people because the amount of times ive been clearly clocked as a bi femmeish presenting person and approached by married couples (even when ive been out on a date!) is absolutely wild, its always really uncomfortable
5:17 Not her, inadvertently giving me a list of books to go buy forreal 😂
I actually did buy several of these books while working on this video lol
As much as I hate the stuff happening in my state (especially being trans myself), this is admittedly a bit funny on some level, but mostly sad and disgusting
Most of the individual people I've spoken to are supportive of queer people, but with what the state government has done, I don't blame people for entirely avoiding the state. As a Floridian, I would like to apologize to every queer person for what the Floridian state government has done
I'm a queer socialist from Denmark. Both Scott and DeSantis has stated tham I'm not welcome in that state. So of course I'm not visiting. A lot of wealthy Danes I know are taking their money elsewhere when going on vacation. The world is huge and Fl is small in comparison.
Yeah I’m thinking about going there for college but as a trans person myself it’s definitely making me reconsider since I might not get gender affirmation care so :/
We don't blame you we blame ron de stupid.
As a black, bisexual women, 25 years old, I honestly appreciate your coverage of this scandal. Kat you are a God sent. Much love 💯🔥💜
Much love 💜🩷💜🤍
when I first realized I was bi I thought having sex with a couple would actually be a "low commitment" way to explore my sexuality and holy shit what you said about unicorn hunters just seeing bi women as sex toys is so damn true. a lot of conversations I had with couples on tinder were weird and off-putting and the one couple I ended up deciding to have sex with used me like a toy instead of a person who was there for my own enjoyment as well. I'm not surprised that bigots enter the swinger space because they inherently don't see us as serious or even real people.
In my admittedly anecdotal and totally non-scientific observations, Liberals & Leftists tend to go for polyamory, while conservatives tend towards swinging.
Cause leftists more so sees the third partner as a person with a fully realized sexuality and desires, while the right sees threesomes as a fetish, something to be taken on and off and to be ashamed of, and the third party as disposable.
Conservatives view life through hierarchies and cannot comprehend the gender and relational equality that true polyamory demands.
i’d argue it’s because polyamory requires communication and trust and a genuine bond, while swinging is just a sex thing and you don’t actually have to care about the other person
They want to be covert, so they aren’t perceived. It’s manipulation.
@@mashuxgrim66 YESS!!!!! Damnnnnnn, why you gotta be so honest and correct about it 🤣😂
I feel like its important to mention that as of yet, i dont personally feel like Sex Ed does a great job of explaining consent and all its nuances.
I took sex ed in high school, ill always been grateful that my high school offered it. But one thing sex ed didnt teach me about was how important my own consent was in an encounter.
Idk... I think sex ed, in its current iteration (or at least the version i experienced) still needs improvement
My sex ed was worst. All they did was show us a bunch of pics of folks genitalia that had severe cases of STDs. Didn’t teach us anything about preventive measures or anything, let alone consent.
@@ashleywatts888 exactly. I remember when, at effing 34, I first started to truly understand what consent means, thinking back to all the missed opportunities over the years for people to teach it to me. It should have been my parents. Barring my parents, it should have been the school. The fact that no one thinks it's paramount to teach young children that their consent matters is a travesty 🥺
Sex ed is very much still something being figured out. I’d agree. And that’s partially why I understand a lot of the knee jerk reactions to it. The book I reference tho, does a pretty good job of explaining that consent can be withdrawn and it’s a book Bridget has directly advocated against.
Back when I was in school, sex ed was incredibly lacking. Nothing on consent. Just awful. So much work is still needed.
It's genuinely disheartening to hear the level of victim blaming. No matter how loose a person's morals may or may not be, nobody deserves to be violated like this.
Not even the conservatives themselves. It's heartbreaking to see "leftists" wish this kind of thing on people. I think the type of person to do that never cared about social justice, they jusy want to feel righteous while being a bully.
@@k4nd1incyb3rsp4c3Who said leftists wish this on anybody?
Sounds like unicorn hunters have the worst type of main character syndrome ever. 🤢
Christian Ziegler saying it was consensual is dubious at best. I wouldn't trust him to actually know what consent is if it sat on his face.
I had a man bring me to a swingers club. I’m Ace, I struggle with being with men. I’m not attracted to women. I made that very clear yet he still begged me to go with him. I told him I would, but I wasn’t going to have sex. He began talking to other couples immediately trying to get sex initiated. I broke off from him and was pretty quickly bombarded by other men. The guy who brought me ended up sulking at the bar because no one was willing to sleep with him when he went searching but I had so many men trying to get me to bring them to a room.
Haha yep that’s how it often goes!!! Single men are the bane of everyone’s existence at these events!! Mostly cuz of stuff like this! I always end up hanging out with someone like you when I go to these events lol. It’s super clear to me that a lot of people rush into it
As a bisexual woman, I never tell people about the other half of my sexuality. I’m afraid of being fetishized by men or women will be afraid that I’ll want to take advantage of them. And I’m afraid people will think I’m willing to sleep with anyone when the reality is I value a connection when sleeping with someone. I don’t want to be pressured into anything.
All of the stuff you've mentioned about swinger events, their perspectives of men being bi and especially pushing women to interact more with other women for their pleasure is so true. Like the moment a woman brings up bringing another man into it, their partner is offended.
This was/is so wild. For most people this would be a non story, but because of their public work it exposes immense hypocrisy (stating the obvious for sure). You can eat out anybody you want like it’s the Mandarin as long as you aren’t trying to take away peoples rights lol
I'm having trouble with the notion (from the news anchor) that having what sounds like a predatory 3-way makes someone part of the LGBT community. Just no. I'm not gatekeeping, just pointing out that it's an opt-in community and she opts out hard. *edited to add, because it's early, not saying being LGBT+ is optional, but participation in and identification with the community is.
idk, i see the point everyone is making about community, but to me it just seemed like the anchor was trying to spontaneously come up with wording that didn't sound like she was saying ziegler was gay/bi (and maybe getting sued for slander or something?) similar to how people are very careful to use the "allegedly" disclaimer
@@astridarideout1864 I see what you're saying, that makes a lot of sense with how sue-happy everyone, ESPECIALLY in Florida, is
so much of this swinger culture shit reminds me of the always top dudes on grindr who "just want to experiment" and "normally don't bottom, but there's something special about you," then cry and call you slurs for like 30 minutes after. or is that just, like, a melbourne thing?
i'm glad the truth is coming out about this. when it comes to conservatives, it's never really shocking to hear about sexual violence or hypocrisy about sexual freedoms from them. had no idea who either of these people are but you did a good job explaining it. i just hope consequences actually happen for them. was also going to say that i hope the victim and her story aren't reduced to gotchas but it seems most headlines are focusing on the hypocrisy part and not the rape part.
Tbh, being anti sex ed is just a cover to hide either their sex crimes or that they are in the closet. Sometimes it’s a lil bit of both.
I had my first encounter with unicorn hunters when I was 17. We were out partying and they approached me in the most cliche way lmao, they were in their mid 30s and after I denied their request of coming with them they started trying to convince me and gave me their bottle of wine to drink. I didn't realize it in the moment how INCREDIBLY fcked up you have to be to put a person (a fcking minor on top) in this situation.
Yeah, the couple that I talk about in the very beginning of this video. Also gave me a weed edible. Giving drugs is kind of part of it. Lol.
@@KatBlaquecoercion for $500, alex
kat is an anthropologist of swingers and sex parties
Is she wrote a book about this, I’d buy it in a heartbeat!
@@naomigray575 ahh that would be fascinating
As soon as I heard this story, all I could think after processing everything that happened was "I bet Kat is going to cover this."
Probably the most complex and nuanced look at this whole situation.
When it was time for me to get the sex talk, my aunt bought me the book "it's perfectly normal" and that book really helped me with understanding many things about myself and others
Thanks for sharing your take on this situation! I have been a "unicorn" a few times, and I personally wouldn't have had one on one encounters outside of the threesome. I knew the couples as couples, and to have a side dalliance with one of them outside of their partnership would have felt untoward and trifling to me. And yes, I have felt like a sex toy in those situations before, and the whole scenario was as rare as a unicorn sighting, so I stopped doing it. I'm not interested in hurting people, being a prop or a guinea pig for the bicurious or starting drama: none of that turns me on. Tom Edwards is class act with his response. You have some skills at flirting! Great to see you again!
It's really important for very young kids to understand sexual things to an extent because I know I as a small child could've hurt myself. None of this would've opened me up to doing acts with others, especially not with adults. Moreover, a book like that would've been a lot more explanatory in how I was being sexually exploited by adults.
I'm sorry but this clip at 3:48 kills me... cause ultimately what she's saying is "IF YOU THINK THAT OUR KIDS SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO SEE BLACK MEN WITH FLOWERS ON THEIR HEAD, YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL!!😢"
"I am unicorn hunter phobic" girl you can't just say funny things like that and not give me time to breathe 😂😂😂
It's easy for them to have such a contradiction in their attitudes and actions because for them it's not about sexual orientation really. It's about power, power and control. For them there is no contradiction.
😩 TRUTH
Imagine calling queer people groomers when you literally are trying to ban a book that helps kids understand, avoid, get help for and stand up to grooming.
🙋 Something Ill add as a curiosity for fellow fans, and its more relevant to 'unicorn hunters' than the Zieglers, themselves:
One of the other reasons 'male unicorns' tend to be less common isnt just because of the homophobia, but also because the kind of sex 'unicorn hunters' seek from men is, itself, often homophobic.
Having been raised by parents who participate in this kind of abusive behavior behind closed doors, and having been asked to participate by non-family unicorn hunters, it's a bit gritty.
Often, male unicorn hunters tend to be less involved as a couple and err toward voyeurism while the man violently dominates (a usually younger) male.
Unlike female unicorn hunters, where the exploration of bisexuality tends to be mutual, male unicorn hunters are often trying to cope with repressed homosexuality and all the rage that may come with it.
I say yes to bi men, but hell no to bi couples for that reason. Im very aware good couples exist, but Ive always said no because the propositions were always creepy AF.
Stay safe, everyone. 🙏❤️
I get what you're saying. In my experience male-male sexual dynamics fit into an top/bottom sub/dom dynamic the majority of the time. You don't need a sperate BDSM dating or hook up website for male-male stuff it tends to go with the territory. I get what you're saying... But we really love it 😋
@@tezatheboffin2184 you dont need to explain what a top is, and Ive used grindr, too.
And no, we dont all really love it.
Of course you're right and no offence meant. I can only speak of my own experiences and those who enjoy that sort of thing. Your millage may vary and as I say I do get what YOU are saying. Fun though it may be you do wonder sometimes if there's not some repression going on and us males could be a bit more loving to each other in between the hard core kink...@@user-ki3qf7mw3m
@@tezatheboffin2184Not all gay/bi men are kinky. And not all the kinky ones want to be unicorn hunted by homophobes...
@@a.e.3984 thank you! I meant no hate for the first comment, but liking BDSM =/= being gay
And liking BDSM =/= enjoying mistreatment from experimental bi couples 😰
My parents got “It’s Perfectly Normal” for me as a kid. It’s not at all pornography; it has naked drawings of people in very plain, non sexual positions. It’s there to help you understand how puberty, sex, and bodies work. It helped me a lot.
Then again I’m trans so maybe they’re onto something /s
but thats GROOMING 🤬🤬🤬🤬 /s
the way the woman who im assuming is Reid just dragged Adams thru the dirt with the quick "Adams, an education consultant with *no* education degrees-"
So glad I keep hearing more and more people saying that book banning and folks who want highly censored or abstinence only sex ed sets off alarms for them because ignorance is a tool of groomers. Beyond that just wanting people to not learn about racism and injustice in our history or wanting schools to be religious and privatized, even in some lines the push for homeschooling... all setting off the sirens for oppression and abuse.
Oooh, girl!! It’s the hypocrisy for me. Thank you for covering this. I genuinely enjoy hearing your perspective on this.
i went to new college. it was a nice little safe haven. the faculty was incredible and it’s sad to see them be driven out
ive been saying it for years! certain people thinking being LGBT is inherently a fetish/sex thing only think that bc they have a fetish for LGBT relationships!
As a polyamorous mostly fem passing and often presenting non-binary folk. This intro is soooo accurate
I think the reason that these conservative parents don't want gay or lesbian people in schools or around children is because they view us as sex toys and you keep sex toys away from kids. Instead of viewing us as fully realized people and adults who have a sexual side and many many other sides. It's incredibly ironic because many times we are the ones who are most concerned about consent and the safety of minors.
you brought it up when you read through "It's perfectly normal"; books like that give insight to the fact that other sexual orientations and gender identities exist, but also gives children the language to understand if they're being sexually abused. they want to control children in every aspect, and turn a blind eye if someone they know is taking advantage of a child. it doesn't end and begin with trying to snuff out the concept of sexuality and gender, they want children to be seen as objects, and not people.
6:04 thank you for being brave and talking about all this. Groomers certainly among other things are looking for children ignorant of sex, sexual parts, consent, and boundaries.
I was impressed by how well I was able to "call" the true nature of the Zieglers' relationship with one another and with their victim, even though I've never been part of swinger culture.
Between this and the pedophile scandal, I don’t see Moms for Liberty continuing much longer.
It's starting to crack. Quite a few M4L who were trying to get elected to school boards lost this year.
This video pairs wonderfully with Shanspeare’s recent videos about tradwives and how conservative women contribute to white supremacy
You are so on target with the analysis on the swinger dynamic.
Is that what this is though?
I'm not arguing, just trying to parse all this out. My boyfriend used to swing, with his ex wife. He never really wanted to get into it with me, but we've talked a lot about it.
From what he told me, swinging isn't about bringing a single person into a relationship, it's about meeting other couples. And consent is this massive thing in swinging apparently. Actually, one of the things that really struck me about him is just how deep his understanding of consent goes - he told me that's where it came from.
So I guess what I'm wondering, is this swinging, or a category of swinging, or something else entirely?
I mean, I guess maybe it could just have been the particular "club" he was a part of... I don't claim to be an expert, sorry. This whole issue is so confusing 😕
@@justhearmeout3959I being up swingers because swingers have devoted a lot of energy to creating spaces where these relationships can be cultivated. This means they are really great spaces to make these observations. They’re also the spaces where you can see a wide range of these relationships. From the truly supportive partners of their bisexual partners to the couples who manage to be very toxic. By definition, swinging is not about this type of relationship dynamic. However, quite a few swinger couples do not want to swing; meaning trade partners. They want a single person they can both form a relationship with. If you can imagine it’s common for a unicorn not to be into both the man and the woman, it’s even less common for all 4 to want to actually be into each other. That happens but it’s pretty rare. It’s often easier to find a single woman to share. Which is why I tend to get approached so often as a person who is usually alone.
@@KatBlaque omg thank you so much for this detailed explanation, this was really helpful.
I think a lot of this is hard for me to wrap my mind around because my own experience has been rather, er, isolated. Thank you, I appreciate so much that you took the time to help me understand this whole thing better ❤️❤️❤️
Omg Kat thank you so much for calling out men that fetish bi girls. I was preyed on by a male like that and at the end of it all i just felt so stupid. And i remember vowing to myself i wouldnt even bother with a guy who would be open to the idea. That was the second time in my life i felt dirty for being bi 😅
Thank yew for the comment but also SEOUL CITY DRIFT!
I've been enjoying the reality show stuff but I'm so excited to hear you dive into this. Also, the makeup is flawless as always; I love your eyeshadow color combinations.
Thank you!
I only just discovered this channel and you, so I am guessing I am late to this, but damn, you lived in Orange County as a Black trans woman? GIRL I spent most of the first three decades on my life there and lemme just say, you are one of the bravest people I have ever come across. Just existing as ONE of those three things is hard there, and you survived all three. Impressive doesn't even begin to cover it. I respect tf out of you.
That assault was so awful and I really hope the victim get the justice she deserves
I'm a bi woman who lived in Florida for a few years, and I was actually talking to a couple about being their unicorn when the pandemic hit. Being immune compromised, I was very clear that it was not happening until there was a vaccine. By the time it came out, though, I had entered an LDR with a cute Australian femme enby I met playing DnD online (yes, a I'm sapphic stereotype, I'm aware.) I mostly talked to this couple through the guy, and he was a bit short with me when I said "sorry I met someone" but this video made me wonder if I dodged an even bigger bullet than I thought. I'd done bi threesomes before, but never with an established couple, so I wasn't familiar with that scene. That poor woman, though.
I’m confused about the books she’s naming that are “woke.” Choked is about air pollution and Farm Boy is… the sequel to War Horse?? And she’s listing it right next to This Book is Gay???
Righttt lmfaoo
wait I think 'Choke' was a chuck palanuik book with rape described by the narrator or something
Naming an organization 'Vermilion Education' is such a red flag (pardon the pun); it's almost too perfect that not only is it a beautiful shade, it's _infamously_ toxic due to its mercury content...
I am polyam and in FL, and this is not surprising. The conservative unicorn hunters where they are "clean, drama free, and fit" is such a thing here. The bicurious or heteroflexible wife and the overeager creep husband who of course will refuse to use condoms.
But, bringing in exploitation, bigotry, and lack of empathy into the CNM community??? That is a hard NO from me.
A family member told me about this when we were driving somewhere when the news broke and honestly, I wasn’t surprised either, despite growing up in a fairly liberal area and raised by very liberal, although not super well educated on queer issues, parents. It’s just a very basic case of the weird mind games homophobes play, as you laid out in the video. It was sort of cathartic to realize how much of a stain this puts on Florida’s conservative school policies though. I hope the victim receives justice and this whole case just digs a deeper hole for the conservatives’ agenda to sink in.
Yes! This is what I thought too. She is not bisexual, just pleasing her man.
Bless folks like Tom Edwards. I don't think I could stand strong in a situation like that, but it's imperative that those folks are there to fight for kids who have no choice but to live in that situation.
Girl! Yes....and I am over 50 and i have lived in blue states cities for over 40 years, and it was NOT until i moved here to TN that i been approached for threesomes Bdsm stuff etc....im not judging their flow but i am also a sociologists and find it so fascinating and believe that the oppression of the church has made these folks desperate. Interestingly, I have railed against ourvlical MFL so I find this whole thing insane
Haha yeah! I probably wouldn’t even be into it if I didn’t grow up on a conservative area lol. I definitely think they’re kinkier just way judgier lol
I used to be a unicorn for my two ex best friends. And then I realized the guy was super possessive and a narcissist and the girl was totally ok with the abuse he was giving me and when I told her explicitly that he makes me feel suicidal she still wouldn’t listen. I lost two best friends but I had to end the relationship for my own well being. It makes me feel really sad but my new partner is super supportive and awesome and we started opening our relationship and we love learning about our third partner as a person because we can’t connect physically if we don’t know who they are. Met lots of great people that way!!
That opening bit triggered my fight or flight 😭
As a Florida native, this video makes my soul ache
I'm never surprised by evangelical hypocrisy, nor am I ever surprised by fascist hypocrisy. Both movements are fundamentally based on hypocrisy.
Not entirely the same thing, of course, but my best friend when I was younger just loved voting Republican, and yes, also when they made anti-Gay the entire point of bush's reelection.
"Let me love my gay best friend and lets go to the gay club and, and, and... let's also support their second classing and putting people into power who cause more violence to happen".
Also - merry xmas everyone!
Did your friend ever learn how hurtful that was to you. Was there any chance to salvage the friendship
This is very reminiscent of what happened to me and I'm so glad you're covering the story. Too often, people are not educated re: sexual assault and don't really know how to process what's happened to them until it is too late and they cannot seek justice. This is why your last video regarding the It's Perfectly Normal book is very much so needed because people like the Zieglers can do what they want to victims and bank-on them not knowing how to pursue justice. We also need more stories in the public eye of people being taken advantage of with drugs and such because it is all too common and allows for anyone to be sexually assaulted if they are said to have been under the influence. It basically means that you can never be drunk or high (even by yourself in your home) because if someone happens to break-in and rape you, you'll have no recourse.
Ah the county where I was educated. It has absolutely been destroyed since 2016.
OH GOD A TITLE THAT SETS OFF MY FIGHT OR FLIGHT
lol ❤️