REAL vs FAKE Investment From Men... (10 Comparisons)
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- Опубликовано: 2 июл 2024
- NEW SUMMER 2024
Ryan now offers self-guided online courses to help women of ANY age crush those single streets FASTER and more efficiently!
Check out his course offerings here: www.boyfriendblueprint.com/co...
In this video, dating coach Ryan Patrick lays out 10 comparisons in real vs fake investment from men you meet.
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*NEW SUMMER 2024*
I now offer self-guided *online courses* to help women of ANY age and experience level CRUSH those single streets FASTER and more efficiently! 🙂
Check out my course offerings here 👉 www.boyfriendblueprint.com/courses
"I 100% support you" VS the day comes when you need his true support and he drifts away...
when guys call you babe when they first met you... it's such a red flag
I once asked, "You forgot my name, didn't you?" LOL
Didn't work out.
@@gritsonamission That's a fantastic comeback!
or princess lmao
True
You validated an investor for me- my car broke down on Valentine’s and he not only set up a raincheck on that special date, but said ‘ i really want to see you... let me come help you w your car and we’ll just have pizza instead. His flexibility and support when i fell apart was amazing.
That is wonderful!!
I am so happy for you!
💘💝💘
I married my husband. We dated when I had a foot injury and we did dates at my house. No sexy time. We also did puzzles. Even just came over for a coffee as a date. We connected super fast and we adore each other.
That's amazing.
Amazing 🥰
I now look for actions to match words and vice versa. If he acts like he likes me but doesn't say it, he doesn't. If he says he likes me but doesn't act like it, he doesn't. Fake investment is getting easier to spot. My friend had one this week.... Says he really wants to meet, talks about date ideas, doesn't set it up. Agrees to a phone call, doesn't call. Says he still really wants to meet, doesn't plan a date. Blocked and deleted. Ain't nobody got time for that. It's so easy to tell yourself that people are going to come good and it's the early stages etc, but I've now met two men who are both friends, who have proven that if there is genuine connection from the outset, you a) don't have to work for their attention and b) they will not give you reasons to worry, question yourself or feel confused. The worst trap for women is that when you can't even imagine experiencing the treatment you deserve, you are far less likely to expect it, and that's why we accept rubbish. We quite literally just don't know any better.
Well said+!
Preach girl!!
Yes! That last sentence hit home.
Ain't nobody got time for that, indeed! 💯
Generic nicknames, frequent check ins, lack of investment- no questions, I mean you really hit the nail on the head with this list.
100% lol
I realize now that my best clue is to focus on how his behaviors are affecting me. do I feel lonely, not good enough, or feel like I'm not being heard. is my self esteem struggling. all clues that he's not the one for me. I have positive friendships in my life where these type of feelings don't crop up. big clue! plus why be around someone that keeps you guessing and feeling like crap.
yes and no sex. I can't trust someone with my love when I don't even know them and especially if knowing him has a negative impact on my life.
Right. Who makes you feel good
There are a lot of coaches who give good dating advice but they do it in such a matter of fact way. But with you it's like talking to a best friend who gives you honest advice but genuinely cares for you and wants the best to happen to you.
Thank you, Panda 🙂 I try to bring as much heart as I can to my work everyday. I appreciate you noticing that 🙏
These are really great points, especially #5 -- asking you questions vs self-disclosing himself. That is soooo common. smh
I dated a guy who nicknamed me “Sparkle”. I loved that! ✨✨✨🥰. By the way... we haven’t dated in ten years and he still calls me Sparkle. 😉
😉
This one was amazing Ryan .. I ‘ dated ‘ a guy on and off for three and a half years .. never met his mother , his boys or friends and never once was over to his place OR even knew where he lived ! So many of your things you described .. he did to me .. the endless texting , pics and stories of himself , breadcrumbs of attention , bailing on dates ... looking back I was SO BLIND !!
He was probably MARRIED. You have Sex with a Man...that gives you the right to see where he lives.
@@CrystalDatingCoach If you haven't see where he lives, you shouldn't be having sex with him... Just my opinion. That's how you attract stray cats and stray dudes... I am not running a shelter.
@@gritsonamission I actually believe Dating doesn't include sex. Dating is getting to know each other...you want sex. You make it official. 😉
Dated this guy for 8 months. I think he was love bombing me and spoke about the future. I fell for it. After NYE, him spending the night for the first time...he started to be distant. He said he needed a break stress. He would still talk to me and fall asleep every night. Saw him 3 times in January. My birthday was just recent and Valentines. We had a small fight the day before my birthday. Didnt hear from him all day. So told him Ill give you as much break as you want. No contact or meeting whatsoever. Told him to reach out a couple days so we can decide what to do loving forward. He reached out with a text hey... then on Valentine's day am i up? Didnt bother I'm moving on...🤘
Submarining is like half ghosting haha
Number 4. He stalks me everywhere on social media for over a year and hasn't made any real move. He can't accept being blocked by me and let go of never being refused by anyone.
Ryan, thank you so much for your advice a couple months ago. Moved on from the jerk and got back in touch with an old friend. He reached out over New Year's and we've been together for a bit over a month now. Known each other for over 10 years now and it's nice to have him back in my life.
Beautiful, Promise! Let that intuition guide the way 😉👌
Ryan! This was very helpful. I never thought about those, "How are you doing?" texts are self-validating to him! OMGoddess! 🤦♀️
Yeaaah me neitherrr
Ryan, here's something that's always coming up for me. I'm a good listener, and as a result, people tend to talk my ear off. I show interest, ask questions, and even my friends talk my ear off. And this is how it goes with guys. Even guys who really seem interested in me are usually too busy talking about themselves and trying to impress me, rather than asking questions about me and listening. This has got to be my #1 problem with dating: guys are not good listeners. How the hell do I work with that??? Can I do something differently, to get them to listen? I just assume that listening is a woman's skill, not a man's (and therefore I will either have to become a lesbian, or stay single).
Me too. Men talk to me for ages but don't want to meet up, don't ask about me. Initially I thought it meant that they liked me if they spent so much time talking to me but eventually I realised I am just good company, someone to talk to and flirt with and that's all. They weren't interested in getting to know me as they already knew they didn't want to date me. Finally, I ditched them saying I saw no reason to invest time in something that wasn't going anywhere. My time is valuable. Better spent working on myself and with family and friends than listening for hours to men who don't want me as a girlfriend. They were shocked that I had the audacity to tell them to stop contacting me.
Now I get out quickly. If we aren't working towards something, then I am not investing time and energy in him. Better to be alone than someone's doormat. Men show you how they see you - friend zone or potential girlfriend. If they are not interested in your life or getting to know you it means they don't see you as a potential girlfriend. You are just company until he finds a girl he does want to date and then his energy and time will be spent on her. You can't make him date you and he isn't going to change his mind. Move on. You are worth more than being his temporary companion.
@@bettesalmon8136 I get asked out and pursued by these men who talk my ear off - they are actively trying to see me. I just think that listening doesn't come naturally to a lot of men, and they actually don't care to know that much about you. What they are interested in is how you make them feel. I believe it takes a man who's developed his feminine side to be a good listener and ask questions. I haven't read Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, but a friend who has said that this is confirmed in the book. Therefore it's up to men to work on this skill, not up to us to do anything differently - other than bring this issue up to men, and hope that they listen (lol - which obviously they probably won't, if they haven't developed their listening skills). I recently brought this up with a guy I was dating who did everything else right, and he took offence / got hurt, and just told me he doesn't see it that way. (But then also told me that wasn't the first time a woman had brought this up to him.) Would really like Ryan to address this issue.
I haaaate the constant sending of text messages with no plans in mind. I try to get to a date within the first two weeks. Ive come to realize that some people on these apps are just looking for pen pals and I am NOT interested in looking for a pen pal
Ugh yeah, the pen pal one=byeeeee👋🏻
The...
"Hey how ya doing, dont really care... but I'm gonna ramble on about nothing to keep you in my date bank.
Oh, and I'll never actually call you or hang out with you, I'll just talk about it... maybe... but then change the topic, and drop off the earth till next week."
Yup. Those guys. 😏
@@CrankyBarista OMG YES EXACTLY, THOSE GUYS!!! You described it PERFECTLY!!! If they drop off the face of the earth, I just dont respond when they return back
@@SamElle I wish all women were as smart as you and ignored them... they wouldn't be able to pull that stunt after while of constant rejection. 👍🏼
Amen
Wow! Talk about a timely video! First this guy asks me out to a buffet, on Valentines Day, with a one-day notice, but when I told him I couldn’t make it then, he sent me a text later about dinner at his place. I used to like him but that was a big turnoff.
At one time that would’ve made me doubt my own value but now I say ...next.
Thanks to you Ryan🌸
Oh wow! Heck yeah, if they don't see your light Dixie, NEXT! that fool 👉👉👉
Dating 21st in the century soul destroying. Thanks to saying apps and hook ups no one gives a crap anymore. Too many options!
Speaking of pet names... It drives me crazy when a man thinks I'll swoon because they initiate the conversation with, "Hey beautiful" or "Hey gorgeous".🙄 Please. NEXT! Actually sometimes I like bait them. Lol
These are some hard truths. Thank you for this video. It is one that I'll need to do some serious soul searching on! ❤
I was totally surprised to learn that the guy I met and had two dates... being way super sweet on text but not making any big effort to met for our third date, low investment 🤦♀️🥺
The good morning and good night texts.
Gotta be careful with those 🙄
Oh crap, I send those but I'm actually invested in this one girl, here I am making sure I'm doing the right thing with this girl, and oops yikes lol
@@chrispersinger5422 Some of us like it, at least I do. Just don’t say the same exact thing every morning. Lol
Love your videos. Helped me confirm a fake investor. Never met any of his family or friends. Usually turned me down or cancelled plans at the last minute. But went places with other people. Helped him when he was going through a divorce. But never helped me with anything (but told me that he helped others). Cooked him dinner a couple times but he never cooked me dinner. He would text me at the last minute to get together. I now realize that he was just using me as a fill in. Which hurts because he knew how I felt and still did what he did.
This is a great and insightful video. There's many guys and also gals who will do this. Thanks Ryan
Confirmation of what I already knew! Yes! And just what I needed to watch. It reinforces the decision I made a little over a week ago. I'm hurting but I know there's someone better suited for me out there and have to stay STRONG!!! YES!!!
I'm having such a hard time. This guy was my crush and I really really like him. He does texts fast and said he liked me but he never asks questions about me and talks about kiss and sexual stuff more than I like.
I know he doesn't have a side girl, he's honest but I just feel like he's just trying to use me. Idk
Thanks to Ryan, I’m more focused on actions vs words. The texting thing...my god. I will not make the time for it! Texting is literally the cheapest form of effort (esp in the beginning). My friends are starting to think I’m crazy for thinking that way 😂 nope! It’s facts and based on experience lol.
Points for coming up with the best word ever....submarining. Lol. 👍👍👍👍 There are times tho when it can be the same emotionally. They show up like they’re supposed to but you just wind up feeling like you’re constantly being picked up and dropped over and over on an emotional level.
Ryan, thanks for the video! I like the comparisons. Very helpful and eye opening.
Although we went on 2 dates and he text me all the time, in fact, his text arent as personal such as I thought (point number 5). Now I see that he actually don´t ask deeper questions to find out who am I. And yes, he use only generic nicknames, not my real name. I am standing my feet on the ground again - thanks to you!
Gifts and romantic gestures can make a woman believe that a man is falling in love, but it is really just a way to make her trust him prematurely or distract from red flags in the budding relationship.
I’ve found gifts are from more thoughtful and generous men. Not trying to manipulate me. Just graciously accept and see if their other behaviors also match up.
@@sssparklei think it's good when they make gifts before dating sometime, just at the first couple of dates it's not unique or genuine
The best video you've ever made. So helpful. Thanks Ryan Patrick x x
So good! Hit the mark for sure 🎯
Whoo hoo! Love getting the bullseye emoji! Thanks, Lora 🤗
Gosh your contact is just...so helpful and straight to the point. Thank you Ryan🙏🥰❤
It was they “heyyy shorty” for me 😂😂😂
Your best video yet, imo. Wish I knew this 2 years ago. Much time could have been saved and much confusion avoided.
Where tf are all the guys who actually want to get to know you? 😑 All the dudes I keep finding pretty much only talk about themselves. So obnoxious
Really> So sad. What age group are you talking about?
Ikrrrrr
Thank You Ryan. I Look Forward To Your Videos & Advice. YOU Have Changed My Perspective xx
Happy to offer a new side of things Aana 😋
Man, I'd hug you so hardcore hard if I could right now. THANK YOU for sharing. You're advice is lifechanging. Wish you all the best🤗😄
So thankful for you and your videos 🥰🤗
This is so helpful! Thank you so much Ryan :) now I know what to look out for now as this helps to see how guys make genuine investments
This video helped me a lot! Thank you!
BOOM! ✊
Best video! Thank you. So true
My life became better because of you Ryan
Truth!
Mine too.. he’s like a big brother that has your best interest at heart... absolutely love this channel! Thank you Ryan
He is the real deal 👍
Awww that's super sweet of you, Oluchi, thanks!! 😃
✊✊
Great content as always and really not boring, I m really thankful
Definitely aim to not bore, so I'm glad to hear that, Senpai 😂
@@datingcoachryanpatrick 😉😁
I super need this, thank you!
I like these a lot. Have to keep it as a reminder
No more fake investments for me! I will no longer tolerate them. And I don't want to be bothered with a guy that is not completely invested in me! I really liked this video. I learned a lot. This was truly helpful. Now I know the difference🙌🙌👏👏🔥🔥❤
Love your channel!!
Glad you enjoy it! 😄
DON'T PUT OUT!! DON'T PUT OUT!!
you always make us see everything wisely, thanks for your help ryan❤️
This describes so perfectly all the men I've met in my life pretty much very few exceptions. Thank you for enlightening me!
Great video as always, Ryan! Thanks for the tips 😊
Thanks, Stephanie! Good to see you on the thread 😃🖐
@@datingcoachryanpatrick oh definitely, I really enjoy when you post you’re videos 😊 🖐🏻
Your channel is the best out there....
Mine appears to teeter back and forth. Sometimes he flakes and other times he here. Hes been seen in public places with me but not often. He communicates via text and phone. He came to see me Valentines which was a surprise. But watching this video makes me feel like hes only partially invested. 😔
Yes. Sounds like it. You are in reserve until he finds Ms Right
Great creative content
Appreciate it, Stella 🙂
Okay so did anyone else say Felshia out loud to an empty room, when Ryan said "Bye"
Or was it just me?
But what if there is an exception. I dated this guy last November. The texting was minimum and the "setting up the date" part was maximum. In the end he ghosted me for some other girl. And even returned recently asking for a second chance. Obviously I said a big No.
Dating is very frustrating. They will talk to me for awhile but not ask me out on a date. What’s the point?
They don't want to spend money on a date and show you a second class treatment hopping to get some for free... No date set at the end of the first convo - move on to the next profile. Losers will act like that.
#3 happened over Christmas break with a friend/acquaintance. We were supposed to meet up once while he was here visiting family so I could give him some treats I had made (I made some for coworkers, so I was doing it to be nice), but we never met up. He texted me a few days ago apologizing, asking if I can forgive him and if we can still be friends (which I was never sure if we were to begin with, so it was nice to hear him say it). I forgave him of course. Besides, he wasn’t here to see me; he was here for his family. It was just going to be a nice gesture from me
Yep, the ol' "no follow-through" routine... 😬
Congratulations on your new channel, Ryan Patrick!
Excellent video right to the big, top 10!!
Thank you.
Thank you very much! I hope everyone gets additional value from it 👍
I don’t have enough time to tell you all of the ways I’ve experienced fake investment. Fake behavior in dating is an epidemic.
I know you're getting smarter about it though, Emerald. You've been hanging with me and my channel long enough now 😉
I'm starting to really like your channel. Especially your barely disguised annoyance with low investment dudes.
Ohh wow haha literally experienced all of this....you Sir are a genius 👏 🙌
Genius, well... thank you! 🙋♂️
Thank you for making this video Ryan! This made me understand more of the situation I'm in.
He got me out of a year long Hell. Thx Ryan
Beautiful! Awareness is everything 🤓
GOOD! Now - let's get you IN to a lifetime of bliss D W 🙏😎
@@datingcoachryanpatrick yes please, I have met someone on line but I have no idea if he is genuine or not cause he's being really nice, but the last guy started out that way too. He is supposed to come visit and he says he's clear on the no sex at first boundary but I'm afraid he's gonna show up and just try anyway and that's is going to really disappoint me. So should I just let him come and see what happens?
@@DW-jv2zh so this guy was a no show. Ryan. I'm lost. Either u give them sex right away (I wont) or you r alone. 😪😪😪😪😪😪
I saw a couple of comments about a walk being a low investment date, but I think it depends. I had a really nice date walking in a large state park. Eventually we stopped at picnic table and talked some more. We talked for hours and it was nice because I could tell he was being himself and not trying to impress me or get me into bed right away.
Really need this whilst navigating online dating! Do you have any advice regarding the constant texting vs. Meeting up during the current situation. My country is in lockdown so meeting up is not an option for quite a while so there is a lot of texting happening! Also could you consider different language captions or at least English captions on your videos so I can share it with friends worldwide. Thank you for your content!
I've encountered every single one of what you mentioned 😂
Everything you said is true cause my ex never introduced me to his friends we never went out to eat he would always order in now that he has someone new now he is showing off and now I hear he got her pregnant my ex is 41 and his new girl is 23
wtf that's illegal
Hilarious Ryan 🤣🤣🤣 Could not stop laughing. You are so on point with all this.
I try to be when I can 🙂
Love when the screen goes to black and white/slow motion, and his voice gets deep and creepy. Lol
Good editing.
Thanks..I wish i knew some of these things before i met the last guy i did
No worries, Mama! Now you know for next time 😉
I experience all of them right now. But As soon as I watch your videos I get relieved. 😞.
$#@% I NEEDED THIS VIDEO LIKE NOW!!!!!!
I'm glad I've seen things for what they were with both guys and drifted away with my instincts. I had to get harsh and hurt some feelings but how many times does someone have to express their needs and the other person will try but quickly go back to their old ways of being inconsiderate?
I'll meet you halfway and I'll meet on your terms if you've met on my terms but give me something worth meeting for.
Invaluable info Ryan! Greatly appreciated so I can allow myself some closure and contentment with my decisions and to stop feeling guilty for recognizing their games aren't worth playing.
Good morning, goodnight and what's up texts..but no calls and no dates...wanting to talk daily but no dates...
The guy constantly asked if I love him. We only went on 2 dates. Come on dude I’m not your side chick to help you get through law school
Girl RUN
🤣
I just love your Show...
Thanks Mamie 😋👍
😆All the signs are here. Thanks
All I can say is wow. 😂 I'm being fake invested in😭😂💔
Ryan you ROCK :)
YOU rock, Rukhshanda 😎
On my 20th video in 2 days. Very interesting and true. Thank you
Wow, thanks for checking out the channel, Rhonda! 😀🙏
I wish could like this video many times 👌👌👌
I wish you could too, Deepti! 😄
I failed Number 10, I'm a private person. I told my friends about my bf, but not my family. He told both his friends and family about me. I'm nervous if my family will like him.
We made cute nicknames like wolfie and white kitty for each other, but we usually say honey, hun, babe, or sweetie.
Okay, I applied. No case tougher than me.
Cheap gifts vs more valuable when he can
I do three strikes you’re out! 1) Can I find him on people search 2) Does he ask to borrow money 3) Does he want to come over to watch tv (he’s not interested in the movie)
Wow! Been with this guy 5 years. He is so fake love. I only wished I saw your video sooner. You describe everything about him. His texting habits always reporting when he got home. I never met his family or friends. Some new about me and some don't. His social media only pictures of him. He would say because he didn't want women or men to know about us because some people get jealous. They would want that happiness too and I believe him. I just wished I didn't wasted my time always trying to make it work.😡🤬
Submarining is very annoying. Once a guy did it to me and I quoted that movie.. "Look at me. I am the captain now." He disappeared again. 😂
Good Morning Love,
Good night, sweet dreams Love, for 8 weeks and not much else, just scraps to keep me texting him. Maybe he was lonely or wanted attention, but he was not into me, a total fake. I asked fir a call and a meeting, neither happened. Dont fall into this trap.
"Love" "Gorgeous" oh my I could have kept going lol 🤦🏻♂️
The worst was someone I dated from graduating high school to my early thirties. Had absolutely no reason to think anything negative or life altering would happen. Aside from his mom being racist, we had what I thought was the healthiest relationship I’ve had to date. Until I found from his younger brother and cousins that he’d gotten a whole other person pregnant and married her. I got a call from her one day asking what my intentions with her husband were which by far is the most insulting thing that happened, she had absolutely no clue who I really was and after hearing the version from her what he claimed to her to be true history, I was completely floored. She was told that he and i only knew each other for two years in high school and that we didn’t actually know each other like that. So, even when you think it’s a green flag, there can be other signs.
Ryan make a video on how to attract true love or genuine man in ones life. Please i request you
Hi Ryan, how would you advise to approach number 10 with him? Ask him directly or?
you are so funny and kind 😁😉
Aww shucks 😄
I decided to tell a guy to eat it because I asked him when i was gunna see him and he said “whenever” I said I don’t do “whenevers” and yeah he couldn’t hang went on to guilt trip me about having his son and yada yada, I said naw you could pencil me in if you were serious. So he couldn’t hang. NEXT! Thank you Ryan!
Talking about serious topics vs avoiding them.
On Valentine's Day....was going to make me pay for half of the dinner be promised to take me out to
Oh that's rough! im sorry! he,s kinda trash lol! I hope you find better!
Throw that in the bin
That’s terrible! You deserve better:)
I had a guy bring me in with fine dining. then after a year he started insisting I pay my own. Also I would get invited to join him on a biz trip then asked to share cost of lodging. Bye bye!
@@LadyCamilleE That's very deceptive! yeah it might be "fine" for a woman to pay for her stuff or for them to split the bill but that's very manipulative to start by paying and/or not making it clear that you would like to split the bill! that's good that you left im proud of all of you guys that left toxic relationships!
I went on a first date and liked the guy. I told him I don’t sex on the 1st date, but we drank and I messed up, big time. He said we were going to be exclusive, but just breadcrumbed me for three weeks after that 1st date. I was gutted. Really violated feeling and gutted. I told him to not contact me again at the 3 week mark. He acted surprised and shocked to find out I was upset. He did a lot of things mentioned in this video
Our problem is that our minds think he is not interested.. just because he isn't texting us all day long.. we need to step away from those thoughts. It would take away a LOT of stress
True! Its so much easier now for me. I lean back and watch what he is doing but i won't say "why don't u Text me? Why do u do this or that" keep calm Queen.
I was interested with a guy, we knew each other and , we were texting
but when I saw him with his friends in the street, after he saw me, just turn around🤷♀️
@@munneli2014 thanks 😊 but I’m not interested in this guy anymore
I need help. Can a guy friend make you jealous by telling you that he has a gf? Even though he told you a few days ago that he loved you??
One guy was very full on, you ate the one and he did all the right things, even I traduced me to the family once very early.
But after less than 3 months got inconsistent... and I broke things up but he made it look like he did with me 🤦🏽♀️🥴🥴 until now he thinks he ended 🤣🤣🤣