Clearly this is a Kafkaesque masterpiece about the feelings of hopelessness and isolation one feels in the modern world, combined with the futility of the human struggle against a cold, indifferent universe. If only Jim had taken the time to truly understand the intellectual depth of the designer!
I wish Valve would make it a requirement that the developer must upload a 15+ minute Let's Play of their own game and provide a link to the video on the game's store page.
+VA7 Nah, it's in cm because it's using UE4 (I know those stock particle effects well) which uses metric measurements when determining scale and location and whatnot. It's measuring the distance the objective and player location are in relation to (0,0,0) world space. So what the dev did was simply run some super basic "get location" code and pasted it onto the screen, rather than make some actual UI.
Putting a heart (commonly used as a symbol for hp in videogames) next to stamina percentage (percentage!) is great game design decision, right guys? Yeah.
Holy shit, I just realised at 9:50 every time another zombie runs up the red filter on the screen gets darker, almost like it's being applied multiple times...... The zombies are killing him more than once? Like, they're running up to his corpse and scoring a kill even though he's already dead, so the filter gets applied multiple times. You're triple-dead, Jim!
Ehh? In Unity at least your transform position holds 3 float values and the numbers seen in game look pretty much what it would look like if they just directly rendered those floats on the screen.
"smooth movement" as in "smooth enough to make me sick from the bobbing of the head" And this is coming from someone that doesn't get motion sickness easily... I really think this is just someone's class work?
I've got to say, I think this might be the worst game you've ever covered, Jim. Few other games have been so completely horrendous to watch (and I'm sure play). This is offensive toward all five senses.
... When it says "red light flicker" does it mean the recording indicator in the top left corner? I think it does, and I think that is the saddest thing I have ever seen.
I think that thing - the heart with a heartbeat line in it and a freaking #% next to it - at the bottom left is the fkn STAMINA. You know, because a HEART is _always_ used to represent STAMINA in a video game, and it could neeeeever be confused with any other vital statistic, certainly not one that is far more commonly tracked in the UI than stamina percentage, especially not when that HEART is the ONLY metric on display! Noooo waaaaay! It honestly took me almost 4 whole minutes to figure that out. I thought it was just bugged or something, especially since it was literally impossible to see what actually caused his death most of the time. Massive unformatted XYZ coordinates, holy crap _using_ the Z coordinate, a "UI" that covers up nearly half the damn screen, near total darkness, no weapon to speak of, calling the built in flashlight a feature, simple terrain with no geometry/assets...This "developer" did the very least amount of "work" possible. I've never used one of the free engines, but my guess is he opened it, selected a few default settings, selected an asset pack and a terrain type, and fucking shipped it. I mean the dude clearly didn't even add any lighting. I'd be willing to bet this "game" is all or part of some kind of pre-built example type of thing that comes with the engine. And even though I've never used one of the free engines, I promise you I could make a better game than THIS in probably a single day. This is one of the most frustrating dog turds I've ever seen.
I like how when I realised it was stamina after making the comment, I had no desire to edit my comment. Since yeah, it's a bloody heart with a percentage near it. If anything is a health meter that is a health meter. A Z co-ordinate in a game that doesn't seem to allow for digging or climbing does seem like a stupid edition. The Y co-ordinate destination is ridiculously far away, almost 20k cm away from where he starts so how you are meant to get there with a low "stamina" bar and bullshit enemies is beyond me, well it would be if this was a game designed to be beatable anyway.
Q: "Why couldn't they just put a map marker on [the screen]?" A: Because the developers couldn't find one on the asset store so that would have meant spending effort.
What's crazy is the version Jim plays here isn't the version the creator plays on indiedb. The video there shows a house, green fog in the house, and the creator testing triggers to play the sound of a girl saying "mommy" and dead bodies falling from the ceiling. Now I'm really confused.
The kinda sad thing is making a map marker is such a basic task no one would bother putting it on an asset store, which of course leaves hacks like the maker of this thing out in the cold.
First-person Ghost & Goblins, except you start in your underwear, there's no armor, and you start on the second loop. Oh, and Arthur has a horrible illness.
BTW - I swear I saw this map as a later mission in another "horror" game, where it also was a "follow these coordinates" gameplay, making me think the entire game is just wholesale asset flip.
Literally the only things the "Feature List" is right about are the "Full-Body" thing, Red light flicker (IF they were talking about the completely arbitrary and superfluous "REC" light in the upper left corner), Basic Main Menu, Fullscreen/Windowed Option, and Toggle Flashlight. That's it.
I can't tell which was more visually distracting; the horrible head-bobbing, the fire that was seemingly inches away from your face, or the fact that the land was apparently plunged into pitch blackness even though it's not set in the night.
This is sickening to look at. between the ridiculous head bobbing, the motion blur and alternating between pitch black and your torch fire going directly into your virtual eye sockets you have to wonder who looks at this and goes "yep that's ready for release"
Well they got the torch right at least, you wouldn't be able to see anything if you held the torch in front of you like that, but unsurprisingly, not being able to see anything isn't a great game mechanic.
It's a bad thing when I'm surprised, not because this game literally lied about its features, but _because Valve actually did something about it._ Operation: #cleanlight might be working. Thank god for the -Cleanland Steamer- Steam Cleaner.
I have played a lot of games in my day. I have seen the worst that steam has to offer. In all that time, THIS is the first one to give me a legitimate headache just by looking at it.
hey jim, hit the tilde key and type in 'ghost', this will allow you to walk very fast and warp through objects. once you reach the goal coordinates, find a solid spot underneath you, hit the tilde key again and type in 'walk'. Just curious as to what happens if you reach the goal.
This game is very similar to a recurring nightmare I have. Weird zombie type creatures are chasing me and I can see or move properly. It would be much less unsettling I had Jim commentating over it.
1) The "torch" appears to be a baseball bat with a circular saw blade stuck in it, lit on fire. 2) Why do you have a torch AND a flashlight? 3) What's with the "Rec" symbol in the corner? Do you have a helmet cam?
I remember this from Greenlight. The dev actually bragged that: "I made this game in a couple of weeks", like that was a good thing. They never listened to any critique or comment, they always had an excuse. I'm pretty sure they think they made the next Amnesia.
If you are doing a combined 3rd and 1st person model, maybe some form of vision stabilization should be thought of. I dunno but I might not want to feel like I'm playing during a constant earthquacke.
So you have issues with number groupings? Sounds a lot like numeral dyslexia to me. That is something I suffer from myself,and I understand numbers just as I can read a 24 hour clock, but if you give me a huge grouping of numbers like a bus time table, although I understand it, the grouping of numbers confuses my brain, and I find it hard to read, and is one of the main reasons I could never do the hacking mini game in Alpha Protocol.
Sooo it takes a couple of seconds to move enough to make X coordinate change a digit. And the first (only?) objective is 16000 away. Now I'm really curious whether at the location (after running for hours) you find something huge like center of the universe, or if it just states that objective 1 completed, now go to the objective at X=45000
Actually, the older DVDs sometimes say "menu" on them because the even older DVDs sometimes didn't have menus, just the movie. If, you know, they were being really cheap. And considering that a lot of games on Steam Greenlight actually DON'T have menus on them, I'd say that's a selling point. It's all relative.
You know what? I can dig the visual style they were going for. I like the idea of the sky being bright, but not lighting the ground. I think it actually gives the game a creepy style. Though that actually involves... work to get it right
Gosh this gives me the same feelings as One Day For Ched, Time Ramesside & Robert Mensah's Sins of the Father where i only want to play it in this unplayable state to see if it's possible; because they'll probably never be good games but the horrifically broken challenge is at least something.
Just tossing this out there, you might be dyscalculaic which is basically dyslexia with numbers. I personally have had it growing up which made trying to get through math classes an absolute nightmare because nobody understood why my reasoning was solid but I would seemingly pull jumbled numbers from out of nowhere mid equation.
It's back on Steam, with even more features in the list. It now has... Binoculars, too. And an "advanced zombie AI". I guess he means the zombies have the advantage over you that they move faster and insta kill you.
"There also seems to be a stamina meter at play, though I can't see it. Oh, and I'm dead again, even though my life bar isn't at zero, and is still going up." For fuck's sake, Jim.
His other game still has a store page, maybe try that? 'Operation Breakout®' (though somehow I doubt he really registered that 'trademark'). It has a whole *four* positive reviews - that said, one of them is from a user who just happens to have the same surname as the dev. And they're all users on the dev's friend list. I'm sure that's merely a coincidence. Gotta be.
Silly Jim, if there was a map in the game, it would be included in that amazing list of features
The full game will include the following:-
Visuals
Audio
inb4 handgun DLC
Cue an angry letter from the developer claiming that Jim is wrong and the game is a masterpiece.
Clearly this is a Kafkaesque masterpiece about the feelings of hopelessness and isolation one feels in the modern world, combined with the futility of the human struggle against a cold, indifferent universe. If only Jim had taken the time to truly understand the intellectual depth of the designer!
This may very well be the best comment I've read on RUclips all day.
Brian Jones He doesn't give a shit, he's Jim Fucking Sterling Son!
What drug do you have to be doing for you to create this, play it and say, "Yeah, this has to get on steam."
Greed
Rouge cum
One drug that hopefully he will share with me at least.
Oh they are on the good stuff.
I wish Valve would make it a requirement that the developer must upload a 15+ minute Let's Play of their own game and provide a link to the video on the game's store page.
Well, it looks like we've got ourselves a real contender for game of the year.
No microtransactions, so it's got a better shot than Overwatch.
strange. They give you your position and destination in xyz, they could easily get the vector and program in a direction arrow.
On top of that it's in centimeters too.
......so?
Those arent cordinates, they are the distance you have to walk on the z,x and y axis, thats why they are in cm( /s probably? who knows?)
+VA7 Nah, it's in cm because it's using UE4 (I know those stock particle effects well) which uses metric measurements when determining scale and location and whatnot. It's measuring the distance the objective and player location are in relation to (0,0,0) world space. So what the dev did was simply run some super basic "get location" code and pasted it onto the screen, rather than make some actual UI.
Nonononono, that requires math. A whole subtraction function. Y'know, work (not really).
Putting a heart (commonly used as a symbol for hp in videogames) next to stamina percentage (percentage!) is great game design decision, right guys? Yeah.
Those fonts alone are an atrocity.
I dunno man, the Y kinda looks like Solaire praising the Sun, atleast seen that way it's pretty jolly.
daavpuke Horrible use of it anyways. Shitty ass games tend to do that.
i wonder where they got it from anyway. kinda doubt it's original if the general quality is any indication
You can get it on Cooltext. I think that font is called Cenobyte.
I actually clicked on this thinking it was the Jason game.
Nicole Schoenhoft I know, right? And I didn't see even *one* Argonaut!
Same....
that would be the game that did NOT lie about jason voorhes
Insflare1 You won
Yup same here.
It's up on Steam again and it has a new feature: Advanced Zombie AI;
I'm getting so hyped.
EDIT: Recommended memory: 8 MB. Seems about right.
Holy shit, I just realised at 9:50 every time another zombie runs up the red filter on the screen gets darker, almost like it's being applied multiple times...... The zombies are killing him more than once? Like, they're running up to his corpse and scoring a kill even though he's already dead, so the filter gets applied multiple times. You're triple-dead, Jim!
The best feature about this game is that it kills you all the time because it knows it's crap and it wants you to ask for a refund.
You have to get to the Obective!
I GET KNOCKED DOWN
I CAN'T GET UP AGAIN
THOSE ZOMBIES GONNA BRING ME DOWN
Just a bunch of Groundthumpin...
How could you just glance past the "gas who make you to move slow" thing without going insane from laughter?
Just goes to show how good Half-Life 2 must be that they give you a toggleable flashlight for free, without you even asking for it.
The objective's co-ordinates being in centimetres is bloody stupid as well.
uidFluiq Somehow I doubt it's even that. Unity and UE4 both work in meters. It seems like the dev took extra time to divide all their values by 100.
Ehh? In Unity at least your transform position holds 3 float values and the numbers seen in game look pretty much what it would look like if they just directly rendered those floats on the screen.
"Gas who make you to move slow." - Ed from Ed, Edd n' Eddy.
I like how the zombies with gasmasks were like "grrrbrluuurglrrekkkrrrbrrglork" then 2 seconds later you're dead.
Well, why wouldn't you have voted for this on Greenlight? I mean, it HAS turning on and off a torch [mind blown]
"smooth movement" as in "smooth enough to make me sick from the bobbing of the head"
And this is coming from someone that doesn't get motion sickness easily...
I really think this is just someone's class work?
Seems like a game made by someone who never played videogames.
DigGil3 No, its not made by Hello Games.
Where the fuck is that FPS Counter?
I've got to say, I think this might be the worst game you've ever covered, Jim. Few other games have been so completely horrendous to watch (and I'm sure play). This is offensive toward all five senses.
... When it says "red light flicker" does it mean the recording indicator in the top left corner? I think it does, and I think that is the saddest thing I have ever seen.
I'm happy to see Valve have improved their standards.
Valve has standards now? That's news to me.
wariodude128 Yeah, man with games like this we can only expect the highest quality.
Easily GOTY 2016. DLC flood incoming.
Bucky•JaKRBT PC Master Race?
Holy shit, is Jim going to need to make a super last minute addition to the Shittiest Games of 2016 list?
I like how the controls and gameplay are difficult and disorienting to convey the confusion inherent in a zombie attack. Ultra realistic.
the hand on the start menu is the dark brotherhood from the elder scrolls series' insignia. this game literally stole that as well.
DLC will include:
-Gun what shoot zombie
-Loading Screen
-1080p HD graphic
-Microtransaction (only cosmetic)
100% health. You are dead.
Game design!
I think that thing - the heart with a heartbeat line in it and a freaking #% next to it - at the bottom left is the fkn STAMINA. You know, because a HEART is _always_ used to represent STAMINA in a video game, and it could neeeeever be confused with any other vital statistic, certainly not one that is far more commonly tracked in the UI than stamina percentage, especially not when that HEART is the ONLY metric on display! Noooo waaaaay! It honestly took me almost 4 whole minutes to figure that out. I thought it was just bugged or something, especially since it was literally impossible to see what actually caused his death most of the time.
Massive unformatted XYZ coordinates, holy crap _using_ the Z coordinate, a "UI" that covers up nearly half the damn screen, near total darkness, no weapon to speak of, calling the built in flashlight a feature, simple terrain with no geometry/assets...This "developer" did the very least amount of "work" possible. I've never used one of the free engines, but my guess is he opened it, selected a few default settings, selected an asset pack and a terrain type, and fucking shipped it. I mean the dude clearly didn't even add any lighting. I'd be willing to bet this "game" is all or part of some kind of pre-built example type of thing that comes with the engine. And even though I've never used one of the free engines, I promise you I could make a better game than THIS in probably a single day. This is one of the most frustrating dog turds I've ever seen.
I like how when I realised it was stamina after making the comment, I had no desire to edit my comment. Since yeah, it's a bloody heart with a percentage near it. If anything is a health meter that is a health meter.
A Z co-ordinate in a game that doesn't seem to allow for digging or climbing does seem like a stupid edition. The Y co-ordinate destination is ridiculously far away, almost 20k cm away from where he starts so how you are meant to get there with a low "stamina" bar and bullshit enemies is beyond me, well it would be if this was a game designed to be beatable anyway.
Even Jim didn't realize it until near the end of the video. Because it makes ZERO sense!
Q: "Why couldn't they just put a map marker on [the screen]?"
A: Because the developers couldn't find one on the asset store so that would have meant spending effort.
"The gunshot sound was fine. 10/10." - Robert Romine Reviews
The full game will support:
Movement
Visual space
All those features remind me of one word, "Bus!"
Yes, it could describe a bus alright.
A true FPS bus
I love how the flame from your torch obscures your vision if you turn the wrong way.
What's crazy is the version Jim plays here isn't the version the creator plays on indiedb. The video there shows a house, green fog in the house, and the creator testing triggers to play the sound of a girl saying "mommy" and dead bodies falling from the ceiling. Now I'm really confused.
I'm pretty sure that "Gas who makes you move slow" is actually the stamina... thing.
Looks like Digital Homicide is back, this time collaborating with Jason Welge.
That gurgling noise...
Sounds like a gremlin fed after midnight giving sloppy toppy
I'm sorry you had to do this for us, Jim.
It's the cm scale on the GPS that gets me. It's truly wonderful.
This video kept making sounds that sound like my dog barking from the back room..... It was REALLY bothering me.
My favourite part of your videos is the first 5 seconds when you call the viewers something inane.
Jim, don't take issue with the sound effects! They could have come from AAA games like Call of Duty, like another lovely game we know
The kinda sad thing is making a map marker is such a basic task no one would bother putting it on an asset store, which of course leaves hacks like the maker of this thing out in the cold.
First-person Ghost & Goblins, except you start in your underwear, there's no armor, and you start on the second loop.
Oh, and Arthur has a horrible illness.
I love how the objective text just says "OBIECTIVE"
BTW - I swear I saw this map as a later mission in another "horror" game, where it also was a "follow these coordinates" gameplay, making me think the entire game is just wholesale asset flip.
Literally the only things the "Feature List" is right about are the "Full-Body" thing, Red light flicker (IF they were talking about the completely arbitrary and superfluous "REC" light in the upper left corner), Basic Main Menu, Fullscreen/Windowed Option, and Toggle Flashlight. That's it.
I can't tell which was more visually distracting; the horrible head-bobbing, the fire that was seemingly inches away from your face, or the fact that the land was apparently plunged into pitch blackness even though it's not set in the night.
Jim do you intend to make a review video about Super Mario Run?
"I can't see anything." "Is this real life?"
This is sickening to look at. between the ridiculous head bobbing, the motion blur and alternating between pitch black and your torch fire going directly into your virtual eye sockets you have to wonder who looks at this and goes "yep that's ready for release"
So there's a stamina counter in the corner, no health bar, and unlimited enemies who move a ton faster than you.
"I keep getting caught on bits of the ground" actually runs out of stamina.
Well they got the torch right at least, you wouldn't be able to see anything if you held the torch in front of you like that, but unsurprisingly, not being able to see anything isn't a great game mechanic.
Jesus Christ it's like trying to find your friend in Minecraft.
It's a bad thing when I'm surprised, not because this game literally lied about its features, but _because Valve actually did something about it._
Operation: #cleanlight might be working. Thank god for the -Cleanland Steamer- Steam Cleaner.
*Picture of Jason*
I'm not holding out hope that this for quality.
I have played a lot of games in my day. I have seen the worst that steam has to offer. In all that time, THIS is the first one to give me a legitimate headache just by looking at it.
hey jim, hit the tilde key and type in 'ghost', this will allow you to walk very fast and warp through objects. once you reach the goal coordinates, find a solid spot underneath you, hit the tilde key again and type in 'walk'. Just curious as to what happens if you reach the goal.
This game is very similar to a recurring nightmare I have. Weird zombie type creatures are chasing me and I can see or move properly. It would be much less unsettling I had Jim commentating over it.
Dying Light 2 looks pretty great so far!
Wepel lol
This time, the light is literally dying, making it a pain in the ass to see where you're going.
The FOV is like the in-game camera is stuck on the end of a pole which is attached to the character's forehead.
Fucking hell it looks bad.
1) The "torch" appears to be a baseball bat with a circular saw blade stuck in it, lit on fire.
2) Why do you have a torch AND a flashlight?
3) What's with the "Rec" symbol in the corner? Do you have a helmet cam?
I think 1-500$ per game submission, including re-submissions would solve a lot of problems.
I sometimes focus on getting a lock on one coordinate at a time and maybe see if the others might be going in the general right direction.
I remember this from Greenlight. The dev actually bragged that: "I made this game in a couple of weeks", like that was a good thing. They never listened to any critique or comment, they always had an excuse.
I'm pretty sure they think they made the next Amnesia.
Jim do you record these in full Jimquisition regalia? I'd like to imagine you do.
What the FUCK is up with this headbobbing?
It's like they broke their neck and it's making me nauseous...
It's supposed to look like the PC is holding a camera. It's still bad, though.
legion999 I'm not looking. Results are mixed. Still nauseous even when not looking directly at it.
It's one of the features along with ability to run
I don't get motion sick or anything like that from video games, but this is giving me a migraine.
If you are doing a combined 3rd and 1st person model, maybe some form of vision stabilization should be thought of. I dunno but I might not want to feel like I'm playing during a constant earthquacke.
So you have issues with number groupings? Sounds a lot like numeral dyslexia to me. That is something I suffer from myself,and I understand numbers just as I can read a 24 hour clock, but if you give me a huge grouping of numbers like a bus time table, although I understand it, the grouping of numbers confuses my brain, and I find it hard to read, and is one of the main reasons I could never do the hacking mini game in Alpha Protocol.
Damnit Jim...here I thought you were given some exclusive, early look for the Friday the 13th game xD I've been had!
OBECTIVE!
surprised that wasn't spotted. gave me a chuckle.
Spam maybe because the font is so horrible it's hard to tell what the hell is being written there?
I just realized the "flashing red light" is the rec dot on the upper left 😂
Sooo it takes a couple of seconds to move enough to make X coordinate change a digit. And the first (only?) objective is 16000 away. Now I'm really curious whether at the location (after running for hours) you find something huge like center of the universe, or if it just states that objective 1 completed, now go to the objective at X=45000
Actually, the older DVDs sometimes say "menu" on them because the even older DVDs sometimes didn't have menus, just the movie. If, you know, they were being really cheap.
And considering that a lot of games on Steam Greenlight actually DON'T have menus on them, I'd say that's a selling point. It's all relative.
"It's SHIT!" Another spot on review jim. Thank god for this man people
You know what? I can dig the visual style they were going for. I like the idea of the sky being bright, but not lighting the ground. I think it actually gives the game a creepy style.
Though that actually involves... work to get it right
i can puke the national anthem of the UK with THAT head bobbing!
I've seen that exact heart icon before. Is that a default UE4 asset?
Gosh this gives me the same feelings as One Day For Ched, Time Ramesside & Robert Mensah's Sins of the Father where i only want to play it in this unplayable state to see if it's possible; because they'll probably never be good games but the horrifically broken challenge is at least something.
I think this may be the only game where having a torch actually makes it harder to see.
Removed from Steam, you say?
it is back now since the dev removed the copyright image.
Oh, goddamn it.
Steam's curation can't get it's shit cleaned up fast enough.
It's gone again it seems.
Demonic Akumi Thank god
Jim died because he didn't complete the "Obective". Also, who makes a game with absolutely no visual feedback on damage to either you or enemies?
Silvershock Nicktail Midsoft Inc, apparently
Zombies just don't stand there doing nothing while the character is dead at their feet.
...how did you play this for 10 minutes?
Red light flicker - accomplished.
There is no way our boy Jason would associate himself with this shit.
Just tossing this out there, you might be dyscalculaic which is basically dyslexia with numbers. I personally have had it growing up which made trying to get through math classes an absolute nightmare because nobody understood why my reasoning was solid but I would seemingly pull jumbled numbers from out of nowhere mid equation.
Why is the Objective coordinates marked in "centimeters"... That's what drives me insane the most about it
Unreal Engine units are in centimeters. Why they didn't just divide that number to show meters instead I don't know.
That Objective typo cover up gets me.
It's back on Steam, with even more features in the list. It now has... Binoculars, too. And an "advanced zombie AI". I guess he means the zombies have the advantage over you that they move faster and insta kill you.
"Literally unplayable" is about the only way to describe this game.
Jim, did you ever get checked for dyscalculia? It involves issues with numbers, and is something I suffer from.
"Shitty DVDs that have 'Menu' as a feature" had me laughing! So nostalgic lol
This game should be called Groundhog Day but that'd be way too clever.
"There also seems to be a stamina meter at play, though I can't see it. Oh, and I'm dead again, even though my life bar isn't at zero, and is still going up."
For fuck's sake, Jim.
His other game still has a store page, maybe try that? 'Operation Breakout®' (though somehow I doubt he really registered that 'trademark').
It has a whole *four* positive reviews - that said, one of them is from a user who just happens to have the same surname as the dev. And they're all users on the dev's friend list. I'm sure that's merely a coincidence. Gotta be.
That had bob is probably the worst I've ever witnessed. Watching this made me motion sick