There are at least 3 mistakes in this video. Oh well. 🤷🏼♀️ Watch next: No more procrastinating with these HEALTHY PRODUCTIVITY HABITS 👇 ruclips.net/video/WzfXW8CrrRg/видео.html
I took me a while to make peace with the fact that making mistakes is part of the process. I used to be afraid to start something new because there was a risk of failure. But I have learned that taking risks is the only way to personal growth! Great tips!
Well articulated sweetie. Perfection has its roots in fear of rejection perhaps. If we are not perfect, then we are not enough and if we are not enough, then we are not lovable?.....You have grown so much Vera over the past year.....it is lovely to see your confidence grow, your material expand and your sweet smile...Hugs
You were exactly right with the last tip. My perfectionism came from my mother who had very high expectations from me whether at school or helping at home. It took many years to let go of her expectations. 💜
Thanks for sharing Tina. I think it's so important to learn where it comes from. Otherwise, it's just about coping better with it (which is also good of course) but not about solving it and letting go. Have a lovely weekend!! 🤗🌾
My perfectionism comes from my mother as well. I’m learning to love myself and be okay with not being perfect. I’m enough and everything is enough if it’s not done or 80%. Life is about joy, love, happiness and so much more. It’s so much bigger ❤
Trying to be perfect has decreased for me with age !! I love this quote , " Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will ". It is interesting that people who are HSP often suffer from this more. Thanks Vera xx
Being a Mom, I never had time for perfection. I always did the best I could for the time i had. Having children, you learn very quickly that they will show you how imperfectly perfect they are, and what they do is the same. Its a beautiful thing. Sure, I look back now that my children are young adults, and think I could have done better on some things, but I also know I did the best I could at the time.
Yes I can definitely imagine with having children! And I think that's also partly why family bonds tend to be strong, because you see the 'real' version of the people you live with, and it makes you love them all the more :)
This is so true, all you have said😊I love how you pack so much wisdom in one video, yet present it in such a joyful, clean, clear, and organized mannerI I struggle with perfectionism a lot! I have just recently found that if I set timelines, deadlines..that I can rise above this. For example, 2 years ago I began painting our kitchen cabinets white. I had thought, I'll just take all of the time that I need to get them looking **PERFECT** Well, it took me a whole year to get them all painted, and I had not even painted the inside of the doors. It is now over one year later, and I am just beginning to paint the insides. I have 19 doors to do, and I have found that when I write down the numerals 1-19, I can check each door off, one by one. Also, I am setting a deadline of doing one door per day. This is how I am rising above my tendency to procrastinate on the final leg of this kitchen remodel project😊 I will try to remember what you have said to encourage me even further..thank YOU!
This is just what I needed to hear. I’m a painter and will take months on a painting when they could be done in a couple of weeks. I go over and over it changing each little thing. By the time Im done, Ive probably painted 10 paintings that were fine, but got covered up with my perfectionism. I’m going to try your tips, thanks Vera!
I'm so glad it was helpful for your painting!! And I think Parkinson's law is very applicable to creative projects like this. I can relate with editing my videos for days and days haha. Good luck with painting!
I have watched all your videos several times, some more than others. This video helped me yesterday. I have been struggling to finish renovating my very small bedroom, until recently, and further more mount up my new ikea wardrobe. I had great help from my mother, but non of us had mounted up a wardrobe before. We made mistakes along the way, but in the end it was me who made the mistakes that kind of p* me off. I have been suffering from exhaustion and just wanted to finish it. I dropped some of my smaller tools when tightening some bolts when I stood on some stairs.. I later understood that I made several scratches in the bottom of the wardrobe, which by then I kind of just gave up. It's just the fact that I had used so much time, energy and money on this wardrobe that in the end, by making such a mistake that I'm not able to repair, it kind of made me feel everything was at a loss. I was able up manage on, clean up my wardrobe and put my linen bedding, linen clothes and everything else in it, but at the same time it ruined the whole experience for me. My thought of minimalism is that I should own few furnitures, few clothes etc, but they should all be made from better quality, be in top shape and look spotless. I know that's not going to happen and I have a tendency to put everything up on a pedestal, whit pretty much a high expectation. I think I am a perfectionist, but I am trying to be less so. I tend to be very picky (not that there's anything wrong with that in perticular), must have it all in top shape if it's brand new and no way can I have any mistakes with the items. When you said that it's better to have it done than perfect it hit me. I think I have to make mistakes like these just so that I can learn that it's not the end of the world if it's not so and so. Yes, one has to make mistakes to achieve greatness, but at the same time I don't think me achieving greatness is a good thing for me. I think I have to realize in cases like this that items/things shouldn't have such a great hold on me. A perfect home would be just that, perfect, but if something would then be ruined or scratched up it wouldn't be perfect anymore. Things hold too much space and such a grip onto me and I think that's something I'd have to work on. There are more important "things" in this life that I should pay more attention to and items more than often get in the way of that.
This is such a wise and insightful video about dealing with perfectionism! Thank you for making this and sharing, i have learned a lot from you today :)
You are Amazing! Thank you for sharing this video. I always wanted to overcome PERFECTIONISM, especially when doing projects. Life is short and we should never waste it in small details, instead, we can take this time and learn many new things... thanks for making me realize this point.
In my culture, I’m pressured to be a perfect wife, look perfect, act mannered. In another culture where I grew up, I also feel pressured to fit in other different roles and complete them. I needed to take a step back and just be as good as I can be and be happy in the process. Perfectionism rips joy and love out of everything. It’s from fear, low self esteem, wanting to be loved more and accepted. It fed my “people pleaser mentality” and made me not know when to stop which is very detrimental mentally. We are already perfect in all of our flaws. I’m a Christian and I believe I’m perfect because Jesus Christ is inside of me. Love your videos! Hugs! ♥️
Great video. Thank you for the insights. My perfectionism def stems from my childhood. My perfectionism has greatly improved over the past twenty years, but it’s still something I deal with. Now that I am aware of the tendency, I try to focus and use it as a strength, rather than a hinderance. I’m not always successful lol.
Haha but that's a great thing to do 😄 I think it can be a real strength too, and when we accept ourselves for who we are and our tendencies, we can use them in ways that serve us 🙂💫
I'm always late for my assignment because of perfectionism and always finish last with exams, thank you this was recommended by my college, came at the perfect time, studying and working is challenging add perfectionism to that it's mission impossible.
Thank you SO much for this video! It was extremely helpful as my perfectionism right now is affecting my university exam preparation. Now I feel less ovewhelmed and stressed about it so thanks again! I love your channel! xx
Hi, great content Vera. From the onset of your video it got me thinking about my Dad because he was a perfectionist and I was thinking that that was probably why im the same, he used to say " if a job is worth doing, its worth doing right". then come the end of your video where you asked to try to find where your perfectionism comes from, it made me laugh because I had just figured that out lol x
Haha it worked out 😄 I agree with the premise of doing your best. The adaptive perfectionism part. If you do your best, but you're okay with not being perfect and making mistakes, and there's no anxiety about it, then I think the balance is right 😊 Have a lovely weekend, take care!!
When I first started my blog several years ago, I did it simply because I enjoyed it and nothing else. I feel like as time has gone on, I started having feelings of stress or pressure because I kept trying to put a mold on myself to become a full-fledged content creator, and I would always be comparing my efforts to those who have been doing this longer than I have. Understanding this struggle I've had for the last couple years makes me realize that perhaps being a content creator/blogger full-time just isn't for me, and if all I feel is stress when I try to make my content "perfect" with great editing and a caption that feels staged or too perfect if that makes sense, then to me, that's a sign that social media and blogging is better left as a hobby. Writing is a great source of joy for me (as well as fashion), but I just don't enjoy the stress that comes with worrying about those other details that makes everything seem perfect.
I totally get that Amy, and I personally don't think it's true we need to always pursue the path of turning our hobbies into an income. Sometimes hobbies are bettter as hobbies and there's nothing wrong with that :)
@@SimpleHappyZen I appreciate you responding and being understanding! I feel like now, I have a better sense of awareness and understanding of why people choose to make RUclips or social media their career or side hustle. It can be fun to make content based on your interests, and I've learned so much about myself because of what I've experienced when it comes to social media and how I use it :)
Feeling the need to be perfect in the lessons you teach your students is a real thing. Students are quick to point out when you've spelled things wrong, when your information is wrong, or when one thing you've said doesn't match another thing you said. It has taken several years as a teacher for me to learn to embrace the mistakes, have conversations with my students about how teachers make mistakes too, and even find ways to celebrate students for finding my mistakes (like giving them candy when they find a spelling mistake in my PowerPoint) because in reality they are still learning and taking something away from your lessons.
The sweater comment on the "80% mode": it's like knitting this sweater and after it's done in about an hour, it's going back and nitpicking (no pun intended) on the little fine details for the next 2 hours. As a perfectionist, I needed this.. I thought I was just a little crazy.. I call it "borderline ocd". Thank you for this❤ I've gotten a lot better as I got older but it was really bad when I was younger.. now I know that it can get even better. Oh! And for the "procrastination" part.. I procrastinate, not because I'm afraid to make mistakes but because I know it's going to take me an eternity to finish a project due to worrying about the details.
Thanks for sharing your story and I'm glad the video was helpful! I think letting go of our overly perfectionist tendencies is something we can keep in our mind year after year. For me I notice that it's easier for me in some periods of my life, and then suddenly I get more perfectionistic again. So it's always good to remind yourself that good is good enough :)
I can’t say that I am a perfectionist but there is always a room for improvement. I need to set the time frame for myself more so I don’t fill the time with useless tasks. Great topic! Thank you!
I'm glad you liked the video and the time frame tip! I think that can be good for non-perfectionists as well, like you said. Have a wonderful rest of your day! 🤗🌺
I couldn't believe wat I'm gong to say but this is a life changing video and the most important for me. I will search for more related videos in you channel.
For me its perfection in cleaning the house.....I be almost dead tired by evening but still keep on cleaning dishes vacuuming dusting.......arranging wanna get rid of this habbit coz its gives me satisfied but I don't have peace within me....i get easily depressed and anxious......i wish i learn to go easy with this habbit of mines
Yes that does sound a bit tiring for you Laila. Maybe the 80% rule can help with cleaning as well! Or as a challenge for yourself, try to leave the dishes for a night and see how it feels. Then clean them up the next morning, and you'll see that nothing bad has happened. 🙂 Take care!
@@SimpleHappyZen I will dear Thank u for ur advice means alot to me....even if u can advice something on dusting or il do the same as u said for dishes.have a great day ahead
I got a link to this video from my University, (university of the People) I never knew I was a perfectionist not until I watched this video, I wish I saw this earlier because PERFECTIONISM has cost me a lot, just last week, i was given about 6 assignment which was suppose to take about 7 days, all through the week I was trying to gather information because I wanted to be the best. On the long run I was only able to submit 1 out of the 6 assignment. Of a truth "done is better than perfect".Thanks Zen for this video. But why didn't i see this before now!!!!!!
Vera - thanks so VERY MUCH! We are in the "process" of downsizing/minimizing and changing our way of life. This video comes at the exact right time. Thanks again ! Steve and Cathy Cox
I needed this message so much. Thank you making this video! I had never heard of Parkinson’s Law before but it has been a prevalent theme for me throughout my college career. I typically take twice as long as others to finish papers and other general assignments due to the pressure of my perfectionism and I’m interested in trying some of the approaches you recommended to find gentleness for myself again. Thanks again!
So glad to hear the video was helpful for you Kelsey-Brooke. I hope the tips will help you to get your perfectionism under control and finish things a bit faster. Take care and let me know how it goes! 🤗🌺
Hi Vera such helpful tips for anyone struggling with perfectionism? I am a bit guilty still of worrying what others think of me especially when I go out anywhere I feel I have to take care of my appearance and dress well which can be very tiring I am not vain I just feel better in myself if I’m well presented especially now I’m getting older 🤗 it sometimes stops me going out if I’m having a bad day which is exactly when I need to get out ? This really helps so thank you your the best and I have watched you gradually get better and better at presenting 😘
Geat tips. Thank you. I had ready begun to implement some if these ideas. I really appreciate your concise presentation. Very useful for when I need a quick reminder. 😊
Once again a very nice video :) Thank you. I'm afraid I have a long way to go before I can let go of the downsides of perfectionism... until then I keep postponing and feeling unhappy about any of my results because it's never good enough... but I'll learn... one day...
You'll get there! I think it starts with wanting to let it go, and then slowly working on it step by step. The best thing to do, I think, is realize it's holding you back and then really wanting to let it go. Hopefully these tips can help with that a little bit as well. Good luck and take care! No more postponing. :) A plan executed imperfectly now, is better than a plan executed meticulously never. Het komt goed :)
This made me feel much better about my self and the way that I tackle tasks in my day to day life. Thank you for making such a beautiful video, I am going to think about what you said and focus on getting that 80% rule nailed down. P.S. You are awesome! =)
loved the video. I often struggle with starting a new project. these tips will help. Your Japanese handwriting is so nice. I had learned Japanese 10 years back. Till n4 but didnt continue later. 😊
The details and possibilities to improve just stand out to me so I hardly can ignore them! I think my perfectionism roots very much in my personality, because neither my parents nor my teachers put a lot of pressure on me in my past (maybe I was just instinctively meeting all their expectations? Well that’s another story...). But I‘ve learned (and am still learning) along the way that I have to stop the editing process at a point! I don’t have to be 100% content with something to call it done.
Thanks for sharing Eena. I can relate actually :) But it's true what you said, sometimes we can be okay with things not being 100% perfect. I think the difference is between doing your best and working hard at things, but not feeling this overwhelming pressure and anxiety about everything needing to be perfect and not allowing ourselves to make any mistakes.
Simple Happy Zen exactly! And: we don’t always have to do our best. Giving our best in every situation will burn us out very quickly... I want to consider very carefully where I’m spending „my best“ 🤔 Work? Family? Hobbies?Career? Charitiy? Friends? Myself??! Which investment of my best is healthy and really worth it?
oh my goodness I totally relate to the part where you talked about wanting to have 10 videos ready before launching your channel. I did the exact same thing lol. Anyways, thank you so much for these tips 🤍 I’ve got a lot of self-deflection and self-work to do, but at least I recognize it and am starting.
Yup! Bingo; we have a winner. I am realizing that I have spent A LOT of time chasing perfectionism in things that don’t matter: a perfectly logical and efficient breakfast routine; cleaning each toom in thr house in a cycle; belt EXACTLY matching my shoues (I am a white hetero male), so much that the store salesman noticed my anguish and said to me ‘theyll never match perfectly!’; t shirt color matching my scrup top PERFECTLY (I probably have 5 yellow t shirts, each slightly different), looking up grammar rules. Total bloody pathology.
Guess what? I just got my grade back on my portfolio and it wasn't "perfect," but all I need is a proficient in all categories, so--all done! Definitely at least 80%, so I'm calling it a day! Thanks for your tips! :)
Mine came from begin black in a white world. Youngest in a single parent household. I grew up in the 60’s it was different. But what I did learn is that your knowledge can not be taken. No hate just love. Love my journey.
Excellent video. I have issues with perfectionism at work. Things taking too long or not starting big projects on time. I'll definitely start setting little deadlines for myself on these big projects; that should help light a fire under my butt to get going! What jerks would leave a thumbs down on this video? Boooo them! :P
Thank you! I'm a web developer. I like my job and want to learn new skills and improve them. but because of perfectionism, I cant start to do projects for myself to learn from them.
In my case, I wanna let it go my perfectionism in my college grades and working because this produced me stress and some disbalance in my emotions so this video was perfect for me.
My perfection came from my upbringing, the primary cause is my father who did any repair or maintenance just good enough to keep it working and to reduce the cost even though the cost was not relevant.
Favorites from Holland in no order: windmills, tulips, KLM Airlines, Actor Rutger Hauer, The Holland National Soccer team (Oranje), and now I'm adding Simple Happy Zen w/ Vera! 😊
Hahahaha thanks so much 😄 And Amsterdam's football club Ajax will play the semi-finals of the Europe Champions League this Wednesday, so they are probably better than the national team right now
日本でも、失敗(しっぱい)を恐(おそ)れずに、挑戦(ちょうせん)することは大切(たいせつ)だ、といわれます。 That is very important,but it’s hard to do.And I also think it’s difficult to express its importance logically.You are studying very well.l am very happy to hear your story!!!
ありがとうございます！🤗 My pianoteacher used to scold me if I was afraid of hitting the wrong note on the piano. She would say: I don't care if you make a mistake, but do it loudly and proudly! Without fear 😊 またね！
I want to let go of perfectionism while doing my woodworking hobbies and baking. With baking I stress myself out hoping everyone will like what I baked, thus taking some of the fun out of it.
You know how they say write for the bin? That the whole process of writing is more like re-writing and re-writing until you come up with something you like? Maybe try baking for the bin haha. Not literally of course, cause that would be a waste, but having no expectations about how it's supposed to come out. If it comes out really good and you want to share with others, great. Otherwise, you will have had fun and you can maybe just freeze it and enjoy it over time yourself :)
Oh my♡Your ひらがなhand writing is so cute:) also I liked when you explained bout the 80% mode to the comment! 少し勇気の要ることだったかもしれません。because it could be 批判になり得ますから。👏🏻 素敵な週末を:)
ありがとう、嬉しい 😄😍 Yes I think in Japanese culture, at least as far as I know, there is much emphasis on making things perfect and being your best at all times. But I think we can still do our best and 一所懸命頑張ります the things we do 😊 But in a way that we don't worry or feel anxious if we make a mistake. Is that possible in Japanese culture, do you think? Xxx
I think it’s cultural thing. We’re good at details, try to be accurate in everything. Majority of ppl seem to have low self-esteem. They’re afraid of being left out and apologizing way too much lol
still struggling with perfectionism... it has held me back with so many things already mainly because I only just realized i was a perfectionist. i hope your tips can help me transition
As always - very interesting and a beautiful video. Perfectionism is so tough but learning more about oneself will definitely help, and these tips help a great deal. Wow, the difference between your videos then and now, it gives me hope. Maybe I'll be able to grow and be comfortable soon too :) I finally reached 100 subs :P
Thank you so much Linda. I hoped showing my earliest material would be helpful for other RUclipsrs. :) We all have to come from somewhere and YT takes a LOT of learning. My videos now still have lots of room for improvement. You'll get there if you keep learning and improving, and I saw your recent comments, seems like your videos are already helping a lot of people! :) That's something to be proud of.
Thank you for this valuable video! My personal trouble with deadlines is that - despite of having them and working full-on to achieve them, I seem to never be able to finish the project at that time, no matter how early I start. It's always accompanied by utter stress and frustration... I found that perhaps, with no time frame, my projects might drag a bit, but would give me enough space and specially no stress. But perhaps academic deadlines trigger something whereas personal deadlines are more relaxed altogether? Am I the only one feeling like this?
Thanks Vera! Are you a therapist I can reach out to? Although I subscribed to your channel a few weeks ago, I’m watching this particular one too late! I guess my perfectionism originates fro my upbringing during childhood from overly protective parents and an incompatible couples themselves!
I liked your video Vera, very good subject , although M a perfectionist, I believe that perfection is beauty , you made something's without mistake. It's done completely n you get a satisfaction. But this rule is not applicable for everything in life, sometimes you need to relax , be lazy and pampered.
Thank you Meenaxi 😊🌺 I agree, working hard on something and seeing how well it turned out can be a great satisfaction. As long as people don't feel anxious about not always being perfect and making a mistake, there's nothing wrong with giving something your all, right 🤗🌼 Have a lovely rest of your week!
nearly perfect - joking. Very good and helpful tipps as always, thank you very much Vera for anotrher push to re-think things from a different direction.
Perfectionism simply means you are a master of “fault finding” A condition that produces a state of always missing the mark. Producing a state of an Ungrateful Human Being. Moral of this statement Stop Being a Fault Finder
I really like this way of thinking. It's easy to find a million faults in others (or sometimes ourselves even), but sometimes, it's better to find the good qualities or positive attributes in people or situations. I think that sometimes, people are way too quick to find faults and that causes their state of well-being to drop into negative thoughts and feelings, which lowers their happiness.
Hi Vera, I love this video! I think perfectionism is such an important topic so thank you for bringing it to people's attention! I actually made a video about it a few weeks ago. I was more focusing on how being a perfectionist can negatively affect relationships with our loved ones and how I managed to change that around. It's always interesting to hear different perspectives on this topic! Sending a huge hug! My perfectionist video: ruclips.net/video/717XzxA74_c/видео.html
Thanks for sharing Natalie! 🙂💫 It's a very interesting topic and lots to discuss. Even in this video I had to make choices about which things to talk about. There's so much more :)
There are at least 3 mistakes in this video. Oh well. 🤷🏼♀️
Watch next: No more procrastinating with these HEALTHY PRODUCTIVITY HABITS 👇
ruclips.net/video/WzfXW8CrrRg/видео.html
I took me a while to make peace with the fact that making mistakes is part of the process. I used to be afraid to start something new because there was a risk of failure. But I have learned that taking risks is the only way to personal growth! Great tips!
Well said! I totally agree 🤗
I think (and know) mine came from my childhood programming.
Well articulated sweetie. Perfection has its roots in fear of rejection perhaps. If we are not perfect, then we are not enough and if we are not enough, then we are not lovable?.....You have grown so much Vera over the past year.....it is lovely to see your confidence grow, your material expand and your sweet smile...Hugs
Thanks so much for your supersweet comment Dina 😄🍃
I love the quote at the beginning. You have such a peaceful spirit, I am obsessed with your videos 🌸
Thank you so much Katie 🤗🌻 That's so sweet
You were exactly right with the last tip. My perfectionism came from my mother who had very high expectations from me whether at school or helping at home. It took many years to let go of her expectations. 💜
Thanks for sharing Tina. I think it's so important to learn where it comes from. Otherwise, it's just about coping better with it (which is also good of course) but not about solving it and letting go. Have a lovely weekend!! 🤗🌾
My perfectionism comes from my mother as well. I’m learning to love myself and be okay with not being perfect. I’m enough and everything is enough if it’s not done or 80%. Life is about joy, love, happiness and so much more. It’s so much bigger ❤
Trying to be perfect has decreased for me with age !! I love this quote , " Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will ". It is interesting that people who are HSP often suffer from this more. Thanks Vera xx
I love that quote! 😊🌼
Being a Mom, I never had time for perfection. I always did the best I could for the time i had. Having children, you learn very quickly that they will show you how imperfectly perfect they are, and what they do is the same. Its a beautiful thing. Sure, I look back now that my children are young adults, and think I could have done better on some things, but I also know I did the best I could at the time.
Yes I can definitely imagine with having children! And I think that's also partly why family bonds tend to be strong, because you see the 'real' version of the people you live with, and it makes you love them all the more :)
Perfectionism at work. Love your perspective and kind vibe. Thanks to you for what you do!
Thank you so much for your kind comment 🤗🌻
This is so true, all you have said😊I love how you pack so much wisdom in one video, yet present it in such a joyful, clean, clear, and organized mannerI
I struggle with perfectionism a lot! I have just recently found that if I set timelines, deadlines..that I can rise above this. For example, 2 years ago I began painting our kitchen cabinets white. I had thought, I'll just take all of the time that I need to get them looking **PERFECT** Well, it took me a whole year to get them all painted, and I had not even painted the inside of the doors. It is now over one year later, and I am just beginning to paint the insides. I have 19 doors to do, and I have found that when I write down the numerals 1-19, I can check each door off, one by one. Also, I am setting a deadline of doing one door per day. This is how I am rising above my tendency to procrastinate on the final leg of this kitchen remodel project😊 I will try to remember what you have said to encourage me even further..thank YOU!
Thanks so much for sharing Julie! I think setting timelines and deadlines is so important. Your example really shows that 🤗🌸
Vera I have realized that things no longer have to perfect. What's the worst thing that can happen. you are so inspiring. Thank you ❤
Aw thank you so much for your kind words Cathy Lynn. And you're absolutely right, what's the worst thing that can happen? 😀🌺
These are really great practical tips. Thanks so much for putting this together!
I'm glad you think so Laurie, thanks so much! 😀💫
You are such a wise young soul.
So glad I discovered your channel and Patreon.
🙏💕
Thank you so much Amanda 🥰🌺
This is just what I needed to hear. I’m a painter and will take months on a painting when they could be done in a couple of weeks. I go over and over it changing each little thing. By the time Im done, Ive probably painted 10 paintings that were fine, but got covered up with my perfectionism. I’m going to try your tips, thanks Vera!
I'm so glad it was helpful for your painting!! And I think Parkinson's law is very applicable to creative projects like this. I can relate with editing my videos for days and days haha. Good luck with painting!
I have watched all your videos several times, some more than others. This video helped me yesterday. I have been struggling to finish renovating my very small bedroom, until recently, and further more mount up my new ikea wardrobe. I had great help from my mother, but non of us had mounted up a wardrobe before. We made mistakes along the way, but in the end it was me who made the mistakes that kind of p* me off. I have been suffering from exhaustion and just wanted to finish it. I dropped some of my smaller tools when tightening some bolts when I stood on some stairs.. I later understood that I made several scratches in the bottom of the wardrobe, which by then I kind of just gave up. It's just the fact that I had used so much time, energy and money on this wardrobe that in the end, by making such a mistake that I'm not able to repair, it kind of made me feel everything was at a loss. I was able up manage on, clean up my wardrobe and put my linen bedding, linen clothes and everything else in it, but at the same time it ruined the whole experience for me. My thought of minimalism is that I should own few furnitures, few clothes etc, but they should all be made from better quality, be in top shape and look spotless. I know that's not going to happen and I have a tendency to put everything up on a pedestal, whit pretty much a high expectation. I think I am a perfectionist, but I am trying to be less so. I tend to be very picky (not that there's anything wrong with that in perticular), must have it all in top shape if it's brand new and no way can I have any mistakes with the items. When you said that it's better to have it done than perfect it hit me. I think I have to make mistakes like these just so that I can learn that it's not the end of the world if it's not so and so. Yes, one has to make mistakes to achieve greatness, but at the same time I don't think me achieving greatness is a good thing for me. I think I have to realize in cases like this that items/things shouldn't have such a great hold on me. A perfect home would be just that, perfect, but if something would then be ruined or scratched up it wouldn't be perfect anymore. Things hold too much space and such a grip onto me and I think that's something I'd have to work on. There are more important "things" in this life that I should pay more attention to and items more than often get in the way of that.
This is such a wise and insightful video about dealing with perfectionism! Thank you for making this and sharing, i have learned a lot from you today :)
You're very welcome Lisa, glad the video was helpful! :)
You are Amazing!
Thank you for sharing this video. I always wanted to overcome PERFECTIONISM, especially when doing projects. Life is short and we should never waste it in small details, instead, we can take this time and learn many new things... thanks for making me realize this point.
You're very welcome, so glad the video was helpful. Good luck with everything 🌸
In my culture, I’m pressured to be a perfect wife, look perfect, act mannered. In another culture where I grew up, I also feel pressured to fit in other different roles and complete them. I needed to take a step back and just be as good as I can be and be happy in the process. Perfectionism rips joy and love out of everything. It’s from fear, low self esteem, wanting to be loved more and accepted. It fed my “people pleaser mentality” and made me not know when to stop which is very detrimental mentally. We are already perfect in all of our flaws. I’m a Christian and I believe I’m perfect because Jesus Christ is inside of me. Love your videos! Hugs! ♥️
Great video. Thank you for the insights. My perfectionism def stems from my childhood. My perfectionism has greatly improved over the past twenty years, but it’s still something I deal with. Now that I am aware of the tendency, I try to focus and use it as a strength, rather than a hinderance. I’m not always successful lol.
Haha but that's a great thing to do 😄 I think it can be a real strength too, and when we accept ourselves for who we are and our tendencies, we can use them in ways that serve us 🙂💫
This is so enlightening for me, I really learnt a lot and got liberated in my mind. Thanks so much Vera.
I'm always late for my assignment because of perfectionism and always finish last with exams, thank you this was recommended by my college, came at the perfect time, studying and working is challenging add perfectionism to that it's mission impossible.
I hope the tips in the video can help you out :) It's a process, take it one step at a time and you'll get there 🤗
Thank you SO much for this video! It was extremely helpful as my perfectionism right now is affecting my university exam preparation. Now I feel less ovewhelmed and stressed about it so thanks again! I love your channel! xx
So glad the video helped you out! Thanks and good luck with your exams!! 😄✌🌺 You can do it!
Thank you so much Vera! My perfectionism has been hard for me to overcome. It comes from
fear of criticism. Your video gives me hope and guidance. ❤
I'm so glad my video was helpful for you Lena. Keep taking small steps to overcome your perfectionism! :)
Hi, great content Vera.
From the onset of your video it got me thinking about my Dad because he was a perfectionist and I was thinking that that was probably why im the same, he used to say " if a job is worth doing, its worth doing right". then come the end of your video where you asked to try to find where your perfectionism comes from, it made me laugh because I had just figured that out lol x
Haha it worked out 😄 I agree with the premise of doing your best. The adaptive perfectionism part. If you do your best, but you're okay with not being perfect and making mistakes, and there's no anxiety about it, then I think the balance is right 😊 Have a lovely weekend, take care!!
When I first started my blog several years ago, I did it simply because I enjoyed it and nothing else. I feel like as time has gone on, I started having feelings of stress or pressure because I kept trying to put a mold on myself to become a full-fledged content creator, and I would always be comparing my efforts to those who have been doing this longer than I have. Understanding this struggle I've had for the last couple years makes me realize that perhaps being a content creator/blogger full-time just isn't for me, and if all I feel is stress when I try to make my content "perfect" with great editing and a caption that feels staged or too perfect if that makes sense, then to me, that's a sign that social media and blogging is better left as a hobby. Writing is a great source of joy for me (as well as fashion), but I just don't enjoy the stress that comes with worrying about those other details that makes everything seem perfect.
I totally get that Amy, and I personally don't think it's true we need to always pursue the path of turning our hobbies into an income. Sometimes hobbies are bettter as hobbies and there's nothing wrong with that :)
@@SimpleHappyZen I appreciate you responding and being understanding! I feel like now, I have a better sense of awareness and understanding of why people choose to make RUclips or social media their career or side hustle. It can be fun to make content based on your interests, and I've learned so much about myself because of what I've experienced when it comes to social media and how I use it :)
Feeling the need to be perfect in the lessons you teach your students is a real thing. Students are quick to point out when you've spelled things wrong, when your information is wrong, or when one thing you've said doesn't match another thing you said. It has taken several years as a teacher for me to learn to embrace the mistakes, have conversations with my students about how teachers make mistakes too, and even find ways to celebrate students for finding my mistakes (like giving them candy when they find a spelling mistake in my PowerPoint) because in reality they are still learning and taking something away from your lessons.
I love that 😊 I could definitely see myself worrying about making mistakes as a teacher. Your solution sounds amazing!
The sweater comment on the "80% mode": it's like knitting this sweater and after it's done in about an hour, it's going back and nitpicking (no pun intended) on the little fine details for the next 2 hours.
As a perfectionist, I needed this.. I thought I was just a little crazy.. I call it "borderline ocd". Thank you for this❤
I've gotten a lot better as I got older but it was really bad when I was younger.. now I know that it can get even better.
Oh! And for the "procrastination" part.. I procrastinate, not because I'm afraid to make mistakes but because I know it's going to take me an eternity to finish a project due to worrying about the details.
Thanks for sharing your story and I'm glad the video was helpful! I think letting go of our overly perfectionist tendencies is something we can keep in our mind year after year. For me I notice that it's easier for me in some periods of my life, and then suddenly I get more perfectionistic again. So it's always good to remind yourself that good is good enough :)
I can’t say that I am a perfectionist but there is always a room for improvement. I need to set the time frame for myself more so I don’t fill the time with useless tasks. Great topic! Thank you!
I'm glad you liked the video and the time frame tip! I think that can be good for non-perfectionists as well, like you said. Have a wonderful rest of your day! 🤗🌺
I couldn't believe wat I'm gong to say but this is a life changing video and the most important for me. I will search for more related videos in you channel.
🤗🌼🌳💕
For me its perfection in cleaning the house.....I be almost dead tired by evening but still keep on cleaning dishes vacuuming dusting.......arranging wanna get rid of this habbit coz its gives me satisfied but I don't have peace within me....i get easily depressed and anxious......i wish i learn to go easy with this habbit of mines
Yes that does sound a bit tiring for you Laila. Maybe the 80% rule can help with cleaning as well! Or as a challenge for yourself, try to leave the dishes for a night and see how it feels. Then clean them up the next morning, and you'll see that nothing bad has happened. 🙂 Take care!
@@SimpleHappyZen
I will dear Thank u for ur advice means alot to me....even if u can advice something on dusting or il do the same as u said for dishes.have a great day ahead
@CRK1020 I agree but I don't rely on it but do it coz I know will not be able to stand the mess and if don't do it .....its gonna pile on just for me.
Done is better than perfect. I love this!
Happy to hear it :) Thank you and have a lovely day!
Great Vera, such good advice! Absolutely correct! Thankyou so much ❤️
Thanks so much Karen, you're very welcome, enjoy your Sunday!
As usual, excellent video. I found this one particularly helpful, Thank You 🙏
I'm so glad to hear it Tracy, thank you!!
I got a link to this video from my University, (university of the People) I never knew I was a perfectionist not until I watched this video, I wish I saw this earlier because PERFECTIONISM has cost me a lot, just last week, i was given about 6 assignment which was suppose to take about 7 days, all through the week I was trying to gather information because I wanted to be the best.
On the long run I was only able to submit 1 out of the 6 assignment. Of a truth "done is better than perfect".Thanks Zen for this video. But why didn't i see this before now!!!!!!
Great advice, Thank you 🙏❤
You're very welcome! :)
Thank yo so much. It was so useful❤
What a wonderful video, thank you so much for sharing!
You're very welcome Susan 😊🌱 Have a great weekend!!
Vera - thanks so VERY MUCH! We are in the "process" of downsizing/minimizing and changing our way of life. This video comes at the exact right time. Thanks again ! Steve and Cathy Cox
Aw, you're very welcome 😄 Good luck with everything!
I’m there too Steve and Cathy. I agree that I needed this.
I needed this message so much. Thank you making this video! I had never heard of Parkinson’s Law before but it has been a prevalent theme for me throughout my college career. I typically take twice as long as others to finish papers and other general assignments due to the pressure of my perfectionism and I’m interested in trying some of the approaches you recommended to find gentleness for myself again. Thanks again!
So glad to hear the video was helpful for you Kelsey-Brooke. I hope the tips will help you to get your perfectionism under control and finish things a bit faster. Take care and let me know how it goes! 🤗🌺
Hi Vera such helpful tips for anyone struggling with perfectionism? I am a bit guilty still of worrying what others think of me especially when I go out anywhere I feel I have to take care of my appearance and dress well which can be very tiring I am not vain I just feel better in myself if I’m well presented especially now I’m getting older 🤗 it sometimes stops me going out if I’m having a bad day which is exactly when I need to get out ? This really helps so thank you your the best and I have watched you gradually get better and better at presenting 😘
Thank you so much Therese, that's really nice to hear :) And I'm glad the video was helpful for you!!!
You are so smart. I really enjoy your videos :)
I'm glad Daniel, thank you so much!
Thank you, Vera. Really an insightful video. Best wishes .
I found this video so helpful. Thank you for taking the time to make it!!!
So glad to hear it Deilia :)
Geat tips. Thank you. I had ready begun to implement some if these ideas. I really appreciate your concise presentation. Very useful for when I need a quick reminder. 😊
Thank you so much Maria, glad the video was helpful! 🤗
Thanks Vera 💕
Once again a very nice video :) Thank you. I'm afraid I have a long way to go before I can let go of the downsides of perfectionism... until then I keep postponing and feeling unhappy about any of my results because it's never good enough... but I'll learn... one day...
You'll get there! I think it starts with wanting to let it go, and then slowly working on it step by step. The best thing to do, I think, is realize it's holding you back and then really wanting to let it go. Hopefully these tips can help with that a little bit as well. Good luck and take care! No more postponing. :) A plan executed imperfectly now, is better than a plan executed meticulously never. Het komt goed :)
@@SimpleHappyZen dankjewel Vera 😊 dat geeft me weer wat moed 💪
💪 You got this! 🙂
This made me feel much better about my self and the way that I tackle tasks in my day to day life.
Thank you for making such a beautiful video, I am going to think about what you said and focus on getting that 80% rule nailed down.
P.S. You are awesome! =)
Aw, thank you so much, and I'm glad the video made you feel better! :D
Really like your videos...realistic and meaningful..
Thank you so much Neelsha! 🤗
loved the video. I often struggle with starting a new project. these tips will help. Your Japanese handwriting is so nice. I had learned Japanese 10 years back. Till n4 but didnt continue later. 😊
Thanks so much Ankita! 🤗🌺 And that's impressive! I'm studying for N3 now but the kanji.... 😪😹
True. I tried N3 two years back but I was overwhelmed with it. must be bcoz of the long break. I have loved language learning. It keeps me alive. 😊
The details and possibilities to improve just stand out to me so I hardly can ignore them! I think my perfectionism roots very much in my personality, because neither my parents nor my teachers put a lot of pressure on me in my past (maybe I was just instinctively meeting all their expectations? Well that’s another story...). But I‘ve learned (and am still learning) along the way that I have to stop the editing process at a point! I don’t have to be 100% content with something to call it done.
Thanks for sharing Eena. I can relate actually :) But it's true what you said, sometimes we can be okay with things not being 100% perfect. I think the difference is between doing your best and working hard at things, but not feeling this overwhelming pressure and anxiety about everything needing to be perfect and not allowing ourselves to make any mistakes.
Simple Happy Zen exactly! And: we don’t always have to do our best. Giving our best in every situation will burn us out very quickly... I want to consider very carefully where I’m spending „my best“ 🤔 Work? Family? Hobbies?Career? Charitiy? Friends? Myself??! Which investment of my best is healthy and really worth it?
Yes haha I try to think the same way. To priotritize where I'm spending my "best"
Thank you. Needed this today :-)
You're very welcome Eira 🤗🌺
This was phenomenal. Thank you for sharing
So glad you think so! Thanks 😄🌸
oh my goodness I totally relate to the part where you talked about wanting to have 10 videos ready before launching your channel. I did the exact same thing lol. Anyways, thank you so much for these tips 🤍 I’ve got a lot of self-deflection and self-work to do, but at least I recognize it and am starting.
Haha yes it's really like that :) Best of luck with your channel, your what I eat in a day looks great! I I think your channel has what it takes :)
Simple Happy Zen aww thank you so much! 🤍 (also I meant *self-reflection lol). you’ve got a new subscriber here. keep up the great videos 🥰
Yup! Bingo; we have a winner. I am realizing that I have spent A LOT of time chasing perfectionism in things that don’t matter: a perfectly logical and efficient breakfast routine; cleaning each toom in thr house in a cycle; belt EXACTLY matching my shoues (I am a white hetero male), so much that the store salesman noticed my anguish and said to me ‘theyll never match perfectly!’; t shirt color matching my scrup top PERFECTLY (I probably have 5 yellow t shirts, each slightly different), looking up grammar rules. Total bloody pathology.
Great advice 😁. Thank God you decided to post them 1 year ago! They are all great, just the way they are 🍀🌹🌿
Aw that's sweet, thank you Bogdan 😄
Guess what? I just got my grade back on my portfolio and it wasn't "perfect," but all I need is a proficient in all categories, so--all done! Definitely at least 80%, so I'm calling it a day! Thanks for your tips! :)
Hahaha that's great 😄🌸
Thank you for this video. Great tips!
I'm glad you think so 🤗🌱
Mine came from begin black in a white world. Youngest in a single parent household.
I grew up in the 60’s it was different. But what I did learn is that your knowledge can not be taken.
No hate just love. Love my journey.
It's helpful! Thanks for sharing these tips
So glad to hear it :D
Excellent video. I have issues with perfectionism at work. Things taking too long or not starting big projects on time. I'll definitely start setting little deadlines for myself on these big projects; that should help light a fire under my butt to get going!
What jerks would leave a thumbs down on this video? Boooo them! :P
Good luck with setting deadlines, hope it's helpful! :) And hahaha boooooo them :D
Awesome Vera. I enjoy your videos. 💕
Thank you so much! 🤗
Thank you so much for this video, Vera!
You're very welcome Tavish, have a wonderful rest of your weekend!
Thank you! And the same to you!
I love your videos Vera. You absolutely rock!!! ✌ 😎
Thank you so much Brad, as always!!
Thank you!
I'm a web developer.
I like my job and want to learn new skills and improve them. but because of perfectionism, I cant start to do projects for myself to learn from them.
I hope this video was the start for you to gradually let go of your perfectionism too :)
Thank you so much for this
You're very welcome! Enjoy your weekend 🤗🌱
In my case, I wanna let it go my perfectionism in my college grades and working because this produced me stress and some disbalance in my emotions so this video was perfect for me.
So glad the video was helpful for you, good luck with letting go of your perfectionism! 🤗
Thank you so much
You're very welcome :)
fantastic video, thanks for sharing, I learned a lot
So glad to hear it! 😄
My perfection came from my upbringing, the primary cause is my father who did any repair or maintenance just good enough to keep it working and to reduce the cost even though the cost was not relevant.
Soo motivating video
Thank you, that's nice to hear 🙂
After 81 years, I learned a good phrase: "Good enough". Also, "The perfect is the enemy of the done". Must everything in life be a competition?
Thanks for sharing, I like it :)
Favorites from Holland in no order: windmills, tulips, KLM Airlines, Actor Rutger Hauer, The Holland National Soccer team (Oranje), and now I'm adding Simple Happy Zen w/ Vera! 😊
Hahaha I love it ✌ Being in the same list as Rutger Hauer is high praise 😀 Oranje!
@@SimpleHappyZen Actually will add one more great thing Dutch, a band called Golden Earring! Now, Vera dear you are in great company! 😁
Hahahaha thanks so much 😄 And Amsterdam's football club Ajax will play the semi-finals of the Europe Champions League this Wednesday, so they are probably better than the national team right now
I want to loose my perfectionism. I'm already trying to loose it 😊
日本でも、失敗(しっぱい)を恐(おそ)れずに、挑戦(ちょうせん)することは大切(たいせつ)だ、といわれます。
That is very important,but it’s hard to do.And I also think it’s difficult to express its importance logically.You are studying very well.l am very happy to hear your story!!!
ありがとうございます！🤗 My pianoteacher used to scold me if I was afraid of hitting the wrong note on the piano. She would say: I don't care if you make a mistake, but do it loudly and proudly! Without fear 😊 またね！
お返事ありがとうございます！
Thank you very much for your reply.
I will continue to support you!!!😊
I want to let go of perfectionism while doing my woodworking hobbies and baking. With baking I stress myself out hoping everyone will like what I baked, thus taking some of the fun out of it.
You know how they say write for the bin? That the whole process of writing is more like re-writing and re-writing until you come up with something you like? Maybe try baking for the bin haha. Not literally of course, cause that would be a waste, but having no expectations about how it's supposed to come out. If it comes out really good and you want to share with others, great. Otherwise, you will have had fun and you can maybe just freeze it and enjoy it over time yourself :)
Thank you for the advice. I believe that will help me out.
Oh my♡Your ひらがなhand writing is so cute:) also I liked when you explained bout the 80% mode to the comment! 少し勇気の要ることだったかもしれません。because it could be 批判になり得ますから。👏🏻 素敵な週末を:)
ありがとう、嬉しい 😄😍 Yes I think in Japanese culture, at least as far as I know, there is much emphasis on making things perfect and being your best at all times. But I think we can still do our best and 一所懸命頑張ります the things we do 😊 But in a way that we don't worry or feel anxious if we make a mistake. Is that possible in Japanese culture, do you think? Xxx
I think it’s cultural thing. We’re good at details, try to be accurate in everything. Majority of ppl seem to have low self-esteem. They’re afraid of being left out and apologizing way too much lol
still struggling with perfectionism... it has held me back with so many things already mainly because I only just realized i was a perfectionist. i hope your tips can help me transition
I took 15 days to make simple cover song.. u r right unnecessary perfection kills time. But gives quality. Within time its good.
As always - very interesting and a beautiful video. Perfectionism is so tough but learning more about oneself will definitely help, and these tips help a great deal.
Wow, the difference between your videos then and now, it gives me hope. Maybe I'll be able to grow and be comfortable soon too :) I finally reached 100 subs :P
Thank you so much Linda. I hoped showing my earliest material would be helpful for other RUclipsrs. :) We all have to come from somewhere and YT takes a LOT of learning. My videos now still have lots of room for improvement. You'll get there if you keep learning and improving, and I saw your recent comments, seems like your videos are already helping a lot of people! :) That's something to be proud of.
I would give more many than one like to the video.
Thanks so much 😄 I wish that was possible haha
My perfectionism come from my childhood fear n expectations from family to be best... N fear of rejection
Thank you for this valuable video! My personal trouble with deadlines is that - despite of having them and working full-on to achieve them, I seem to never be able to finish the project at that time, no matter how early I start. It's always accompanied by utter stress and frustration... I found that perhaps, with no time frame, my projects might drag a bit, but would give me enough space and specially no stress. But perhaps academic deadlines trigger something whereas personal deadlines are more relaxed altogether? Am I the only one feeling like this?
Nice video Vera. You are looking
very pretty in this video. Greetings
from Switzerland.
Thanks so much! 😀🌸 Is this Hazel? You have a new username? Enjoy your weekend! ✌
@@SimpleHappyZen Good guess
Vera. Yes I often change my
user name. Greetings from
Zurich.
😄🤗🤗🤗🌾
Thanks Vera!
Are you a therapist I can reach out to?
Although I subscribed to your channel a few weeks ago, I’m watching this particular one too late! I guess my perfectionism originates fro my upbringing during childhood from overly protective parents and an incompatible couples themselves!
Thank you amazing
Glad you enjoyed the video!! 🙂
I liked your video Vera, very good subject , although M a perfectionist, I believe that perfection is beauty , you made something's without mistake. It's done completely n you get a satisfaction. But this rule is not applicable for everything in life, sometimes you need to relax , be lazy and pampered.
Thank you Meenaxi 😊🌺 I agree, working hard on something and seeing how well it turned out can be a great satisfaction. As long as people don't feel anxious about not always being perfect and making a mistake, there's nothing wrong with giving something your all, right 🤗🌼 Have a lovely rest of your week!
nearly perfect - joking.
Very good and helpful tipps as always, thank you very much Vera for anotrher push to re-think things from a different direction.
Hahaha thanks so much!! 😄🤗🌻
I wana let go perfectionism for my work
Very good video
Thank you 🤗 Have a great day!
Perfectionism simply means you are a master of “fault finding”
A condition that produces a state of always missing the mark.
Producing a state of an Ungrateful Human Being.
Moral of this statement
Stop Being a Fault Finder
I really like this way of thinking. It's easy to find a million faults in others (or sometimes ourselves even), but sometimes, it's better to find the good qualities or positive attributes in people or situations. I think that sometimes, people are way too quick to find faults and that causes their state of well-being to drop into negative thoughts and feelings, which lowers their happiness.
📝📝
🤗
Love the 80%rule.. Vera. Btw, you play piano?
Thank you!! Yes I do 😊
how do i know what is realistic
80% rule doesnt work because i usually tgink my work is maybe 30% perfect. I guess i need 30% rule
I would like to be better at Parkinson's law problem like you decided to do what you can do in a week instead of planning a large project.
It's all about practicing it, and you'll get better at it :)
Your handwriting of Japanese looks very beautifull and easy to read💛 字がきれいですね(*^^*)
本当に? うれしい 😍😄
Hi Vera, I love this video! I think perfectionism is such an important topic so thank you for bringing it to people's attention! I actually made a video about it a few weeks ago. I was more focusing on how being a perfectionist can negatively affect relationships with our loved ones and how I managed to change that around. It's always interesting to hear different perspectives on this topic! Sending a huge hug!
My perfectionist video: ruclips.net/video/717XzxA74_c/видео.html
Thanks for sharing Natalie! 🙂💫 It's a very interesting topic and lots to discuss. Even in this video I had to make choices about which things to talk about. There's so much more :)
1 - Parkinson's Law