Men are the prize yet can’t stop obsessing and talking about women. If they were the prize why so many on dating apps desperate for ‘female attention’?
See this is why I will just remain single, chase my dreams and goals, and let God direct me. If my husband finds me, great, if not, even better. The dating pool has acid in it and I’m not about to willing step in it. 😊
@@kimberlys347 you can do it! It’s a mind shift that requires time and intentional work on your part to seek and learn new and healthy perspectives while actively working to not give in to the old ways in which you have always done things. After the stuff I went through in marriage with my son’s dad, I’ve come to the conclusion that a relationship is not all that people make it out to be especially when both parties have unhealed trauma that is causing them to behave in unhealthy ways. I have a newfound appreciation and understanding for just being single and embracing it. I could go get into a relationship tomorrow if I really wanted to but I don’t want just any kind of man to settle with.
There’s not really TRULY a lot of single men. IN ALL ASPECTS. They’re either tied to an ex, baby mama, a bunch of sneaky links, etc. but SINGLE SINGLE? Nah, they’re very few out here.
@@kimberlys347 facts. Dating in 2022 is HARDER than ever before. You know back in the day when you got someone phone number before cell phones people VALUED approaching each other. You get home check your caller id and call them on your house phone etc. Now with cellphones Facebook etc there’s so many “options” people have the SHORTEST attention span ever. Dating apps are trash pretty much for the most part. I’m a black man aged 25 and i studied this a lot. A lot of advice guys over 50 give me is outdated to an extent being a nice guy gentlemen don’t work like it used to back in the day. Just like how you don’t apply for most jobs in person most is online etc TIMES HAVE CHANGED. The black marriage rate is currently 30% and in 1960 it was 60%. Brace yourself it’s only gonna get a little worse overtime. When women have kids outta wedlock most men dont wanna marry them and most women want fit men that make at least 75k gotta be tall handsome. Everyone wants the exception social media makes it look like there’s millions of studs and it’s really not that many. Where do you see things headed?
That is absolutely correct. I am single single (no kids/no baby daddy drama/no ex-husband drama) and I believe that it scares men. Like I'm a foreign object....lol smh. I've learned that I'm fortunate enough to still enjoy life at my leisure while men in my age bracket or older can't even afford to take off for one day, bc they have financial obligations (child support/alimony/kids in college) that don't allow them to have any leisure time. And if they do have leisure times, it's for them (video games, basketball, football, Mary Jane or gambling) They say they want a relationship but they don't create the space for one. They just want a women to fit into their mess. No.
As a woman, I feel the same way but the complaints are flipped. I have been questioning if marriage is worth it for atleast 2 years now. So many married women are constantly getting cheated on, several of their husbands have had side babies on them, they’re always so exhausted because not only do they have to do all the housework/cleaning/cooking/homework and childcare but they ALSO have to work 40 hours a week at a job these days. I swear it doesn’t sound worth it at all. I remember there was this Twitter thread that went viral last year where women admitted that they feel like single mothers inside their marriages, because they practically get no help from their husbands. Smh. I listen to you to hear the other side of things, but 50% of me still questions whether marriage would be an enjoyable commitment.
In response to the point you made, always keep in mind that there are multiple reasons why two people get married. Every marriage is NOT a match that was made from heaven. I got married in 1998 and I can tell you from experience, marriage is two people merging their lives together to live as one unit. Marriage is never ending work, but to experience a healthy and successful marriage two people have to have the kind of mutual love makes them both forget their heart was ever broken by another human being. When two people find that in each other, marriage will be worth the never ending work required to last until death do you part!!
In response to the point you made, always keep in mind that there are multiple reasons why two people get married. Every marriage is NOT a match that was made from heaven. I got married in 1998 and I can tell you from experience, marriage is two people merging their lives together to live as one unit. Marriage is never ending work, but to experience a healthy and successful marriage two people have to have the kind of mutual love makes them both forget their heart was ever broken by another human being. When two people find that in each other, marriage will be worth the never ending work required to last until death do you part!!
Great comment. I agree completely. I see the same things happening to my friends too. Women are literally work horses for men now. A married woman shouldn't have to work outside the house if she's the one doing most of the work inside it. And that's without children in the picture. If kids are added in to the equation then he should be doing all the providing, period. As for the cheating....a man who has other options will more often than not, exercise them 😔.
Marriage is becoming a juice that is no longer worth the squeeze. I was married for almost 10 years and I then dated after my divorce. It’s the same thing. The men have a laundry list for you while they show up with so little. And all my married friends, they all have the same complaints. If the men would learn how to keep a woman the way we had to learn to keep a man, relationships would last.
I just had to block a guy I was talking to. He said it should be equal. If a woman isn’t calling or texting him, he’s not calling or texting her. Then he went on to state that his SINGLE mom told him that. He got mad because I asked him was she married. I told him he will forever be SINGLE. Any woman that settles for him is just desperate. Women are the prize & the catch. It’s the man job to work for it, once he’s shows it then the woman reciprocate it. Today men get on social media, posting more pics than woman. Talk about popular episodes on Netflix that women watch. Do the latest TikTok trends/dances. When you ladies see signs like this in a man…. RUN!!!!!! They are jealous of women & want to be us!!! RUN!!!!!!
Most people don't know to establish a connection, just a soul tie and it's a big difference. To have a connection is freedom whereas soul ties are bondage.
Times are so different now. To be a lady and want to be asked out on dates by a man. Is hard some men don't ask. I hate some of my family say I have to be aggressive. Sometimes yes I ask but I want to be PURSUED! It is not easy being SINGLE!! 😔
@@Didi-fr5ic That's so sad because I have young single women in my family and for each generation it is getting harder to find a serious-minded mate for good relationship.
I hear a lot more women complaining about marriage and their husbands these days. I think that a lot of women still want to get married because we are so conditioned to think marriage is like a fairytale from Hollywood and is the ultimate happiness. Men don't get those same messages constantly forced on them from a young age. Women are changing now though I can see the shift.
Well according to the Bible we shouldnt be having relations w/o marriage. Not speaking for all women, but that's what I look at . Especially all the single mothers, as a woman, it's security. They complain so much about single mothers it's almost like they're running women away. Just my perspective. It's to the point, I'm not even wanting a relationship no time soon .
Women want security and we feel security in the contract of marriage. We also feel self respect when we don't allow a man to sleep with us UNLESS he signs that contract. Giving ALL of us just as a girlfriend feels wrong especially that with one sentence "let's break up" everyone goes their separate way. At least with marriage there is still a cultural taboo with cheating in comparison to gf/bf cheating. Divorce is a long process that gives respect to the relationship, while gf/bf breakups are short and cold making the relationship seem easily replaceable. That's how I feel about + the religious aspect of it.
I'm old school and my feelings are so hurt by this new 2022 mindset of men. To some women having to make the 1st move is not natural and could be the reason not the excuse as to why some women are with the wrong man😮💨😥😢
Just know that when women stop giving it up, they still won't get married. They will get more and more feminine and screw each other more. 🤷🏾♀️ Just saying
Smh lord I wish so too , because they are making hard for me the good woman. I have friend’s who just meet men and just give the milk 🥛 for free in one week. Making it hard for me because now the men expect me to bust down. After some barbecue chicken wings and some celery stick with ranch Long Island 🏝 tea. I had to disassociate myself from my friends. Because they’ve given off desperate vibes. By sleeping with ppl they don’t like . Karzy smh
I was blessed to grow up in a two parent household. They were married 65yrs and 11 months…….and that’s bc he got called home to be with God. (He really was a true servant of the Lord)
I think a huge problem is that most men nowadays think they are entitled to a woman/wife just because they are a man. They under a spell of thinking that they shouldn't have to work to develop and maintain a relationship with a woman. That somehow that's the woman's job to not only pursue but to sustain the relationship. Now women don't need men to survive, so men actually have to be good genuine men in order to get the women they want. Plus, women can just leave the situation when she is not being fulfilled in the relationship. Men are not afraid of marriage, they are afraid of divorce. Most men know they aren't husband material. Also they refuse to seek guidance or emotional intelligence to become husband material. Its the whole getting a trophy just for showing up mindset they are operating on. And that's not flying with women anymore.
@@j_bubblez279 RUN. If today he expects you to wake him up for a date, imagine five, ten, or fifteen years in. RUN. That is a level of irresponsibility -- because we have alarms on our cellphones -- that will not get better no matter how much you talk with him.
You are so right. I think there is a low key subconscious competition amongst women. That's what social media platforms are all about...displaying what you've got going on in your life for all the viewers to see. Not sure if men do this or not but I do believe a lot of women are guilty of it. That's why I had to disable my fb and disconnect from all friends on Instagram bcuz I didn't like how it made me feel towards other women and actually men included and I don't want anyone looking my way judging me.
I agree with you, in regards to Social Media. Some people use it just for that, myself included, and some people use it to boast and brag. Alot of it is fake. Online they're one way but if you run into them at the grocery store or the mall, they're the complete opposite. Sometimes I deactivate my accounts too. Especially if I find myself spending too much time on it (more than once a day). After 9pm is a no for me because it just ends up being endless/pointless scrolling.
I agree..I deactivated Facebook and Instagram because there was just to much going on in terms of how we should feel and things of that nature. Only on TikTok because see you don't have to friend anyone to see decent content.
Tony I have been listening to you for the past week because I got hurt..I like to communicate my feelings when it bothers me I never ghost people. I met him at the gym first weekend great..second weekend he ask me am I seeing you I said yes..a whole weekend goes by..only saw him when I went out..I send a beautifull voice message saying I wish him well but I am not being valued and he makes it easy for me to walk away friendship is about respect. It's been a week nothing. He is a grown boy I am not chasing his silent treatment gave me my answer, I could never understand why woman say don't be afraid to lose him, I think if I was he would've taken me for granted. I am so proud of myself to finally stand up for myself as a woman and calling him out early on. Writing this just gives me a sense of peace ✌ I don't regret sending that..I am proud because they will use us for months. Thank you sir :) and thanx for reading youtubers..woman are so hurt today because of men for real
stop writing to them. stop leaving rediculous voice messages. you did it to see if you could get him to chase. women's strength is in being feminine, holding a poised dignified stance and shutting your mouth
@@lisettecamejo4243 if you don't check a man on his behavior how will friendships and relationships ever work..communication is key not shutting your mouth and ghosting people unless it's abusive..and communicating is feminine ghosting is immature so let that sink in. Woman should express themselves to a man because if we don't we will resent them and walk on egg shells all the time..don't tell me what's best for me
I would say, do not get attached to men so quickly because of a good 1st and 2nd date. Those 2 dates are just trying to feel the person out. If you feel you’re getting “hurt” from barely knowing a guy, you may need to do some inner work. I used to be the same way but worked on my self esteem. Realizing the guy didn’t hurt me but my expectations and the idea of him being something more when he wasn’t is what hurt me. Sometimes we as women break our own hearts.
I feel you with this! I did the same with a friend but I didn’t do it as early as I should’ve though. I don’t like ghosting. I just told him i felt resentful because of past actions and saw his reaction/response. He didn’t text back after a week, so I said thanks and goodbye and blocked him. I felt so much at peace after and feel like I’ve grown from doing it! There are some people that you may have ghost though
I am not a millionaire, but your busy lifestyle is normal in my area, and it is stressful. When I was married and the kids growing up, I worked long hours, went to school, cleaned up the house with multiple levels, bedrooms bathrooms,. I cooked, and took all 7 kids (blended family) to games and practices. It's a lot, and instead of my husband helping me, he went out and had affairs because he said I was no fun anymore! Some people are very selfish. He is now sick, alone, and our grown kids don't want to be bothered with him and won't even take his calls. Our 2 youngest are in college and they tell me how grateful they are for me being able to do it all! So if these single men don't want to help, then they can go on to the next woman.
One out of four people I know personally like their marriage, and they have been married for only 5 years. I think the problem with most relationships is that a lot of people quickly let familiarity breed contempt, and they don’t wanna work to sustain the relationship
I always wondered why I valued relationships and marriage. Thank you Tony. I grew up in a household where my parents stayed married, although it’s not exactly ideal or happily ever after, I never witnessed my father with multiple women or my mom with multiple men. I have a half sister from my dads first marriage where she prides herself on “having options” and that’s because she watched her mom cheat on my father the entire relationship. When my dad married my mom, she is a modest woman who knows her value and doesn’t get off on outside validation or attention. She raised me to value sex and relationships. I went until 20 not having sex and I’m fresh out a toxic relationship at 26 to a man with a porn and sex addiction. I wasn’t getting dates, flowers, phone calls with substance (anymore), and I was like this just isn’t working, your sex isn’t keeping me emotionally interested in you when everything else is missing, we have to end this. So we ended it but he’s gonna find a woman who values sex over real partnership (what I offered) and he’s gonna miss what I brought to the table. That’s okay though, I’m going to find an emotionally intelligent and sexually disciplined man that shares my core values and I can build a stable future with. I watched my parents maintain a stable household financially and everything else, I will not be accepting less, I have wonderful examples. Men these days can’t understand why I decline meeting at their homes / letting them pick me up / minimal effort dating because I have standards and expectations for myself and of others. My mom drilled into my head how to be a woman, a wife and a mother.
@@foreverolly8864 oh, I see what you mean. When I said this statement I was referring to the fact she cheats on the men she’s in committed relationships with and makes them work super hard only for her to screw them over. She got upset at me because I don’t date men, cheat nor do I have sex with everyone I’m just casually dating. Having options to me doesn’t mean entertaining just everybody, I look for substance, she looks for warm bodies..
@@monicanicole738 if she’s not married to them is she cheating? Why are you so willing to offer this kind of commitment while dating? There’s no such thing as committed relationships without marriage. Stop judging that girl, sounds like she got it right while you’re sitting here wondering why the dudes won’t commit to you.
I like how real you are Tony. You said a lot of days it feels like you are with a man. And you still love her unconditionally. A lot of men would complain about that and leave.
You are one of two men that I watch videos on that is giving actual genuine advice. I wish everyone would see this and wake up. Thank you so much for sharing from your heart.
Great message Tony! I'm glad I grew up in the 90s so I know what dating was before this hook-up culture. And because this I won't settle for a lukewarm man --- I hint any sign that I am a part of a roster --- I'm out! No judgment if that's what he wants but it's not in alignment with my goal of a God ordained husband. So ladies don't settle less than you deserve and no wife benefits for boyfriends (cooking, cleaning, handling his affairs).
My grandma told me, “All men are the same just pick a face and a wallet you like.” . . When she told me I didn’t understand what she meant. Bc I grew up in the 1%! Men who are CEO’s, doctors, lawyers, very powerful men. All my friends and I came from two parent house holds! Out of me and my 5 closest friends, I only believe one man name Tim truly loved his wife. And all my friends had white fathers. Even when I made friends with other nationalities, “Korean, Mexican, Indian.) All came from two parent house holds, but None of them seem to really appreciate their wife just tolerate! All around me everyone was married, but I only believed Tim truly loved his wife. Even my dad still tolerates my mom. I felt like all the other marriages were terrible business deals. Mind you, my friends and I grew up with maids, nanny, cooks, all types of help. And still the wife’s were not truly valued! Now I can count two men who love their wife, Tony being the second man!
I think that we are already lovers of themselves. I haven’t heard many ministries translate that scriptural portion in that way. I’ve only heard it translated concerning homosexuals, though I believe that both applies. But I also feel that it means narcissism, and self centeredness.
I love my life, but I’m lonely at times without a partner. People my age are busy with their spouses and or kids so I’m alone a lot of the time. I love companionship. I feel like I’ll be single forever because I haven’t found someone who is consistent long term. it would be so nice to have a life long partner who’s shows to be on the same team as me. My grandparents had their roles and they had a great respectful marriage with 6 kids. My grandpa made sure everyone respected my grandma. It’s hard to see that in younger generations. Men and women used to be expected to have traditional roles and I think that may have helped with the success since universal expectations offer guidance in what position you play on the team but I question the closeness or openness and humility. Did they always feel reserved or could they be their true selves 100% of the time? My grandma seemed too be reserved but my grandpa was not. Just thinking (typing) out loud.
Serious question, since it’s a known fact that men and women cheat differently. If you had a partner/husband who cheated, but it seriously meant nothing, yet he still was affectionate and doing what needed to be done at home , yet you found out he cheated, ? Knowing what you know now about loneliness etc, how would you handle that situation ? Would u leave ?
@@nolimitkk2715 I would definitely leave. I’d feel more lonely than I am when I’m single! I’d look at him as a roommate, or an acquaintance, show him respect (eventually lol) and also save money and make plans to leave. I’ve tried staying before and it just wasn’t the same. It’s really hard when someone offers a lot of good because it messes with my mind, but cheating isn’t just a red flag, it’s a deal breaker for me so I have to remind myself that each time I’m feeling weak. I also will never live with anyone again unless we are engaged. So that helps with my own personal security. I think it takes a very rare personality to be able to rebuild trust and have the patience to do so after that much damage. Everyone’s different though, for me, cheating and then coming home to sleep with me is almost like rape- I’m not consenting to that dynamic and being taken advantage of. For someone to betray me and then keep it a secret, which is even worse, I don’t believe there’s a man who would put in the effort to rebuild, if our relationship was mutually important then I’d expect him to prevent cheating and temptation be rebuilding himself if he felt like he couldn’t resist. That’s just how I personally feel about it. Many people feel differently and I wish I could be one of those people. I can forgive but if my heart isn’t 100% in and open (which it couldn’t be after that level of betrayal) then I won’t feel authentic in myself. When friends and family and strangers do things that damage us, most of us protect ourselves unless it’s fully resolved and behavior stops, if not, we distant ourselves or change the relationship if we want to keep it bad enough. I expect my partner to be the one person who doesn’t betray me because honestly we don’t betray people we really love, we make mistakes, we don’t betray. I have kids and I could never ever betray them, I could never betray my family or friends either. If someone feels betrayed by something I say or do then I’ll gladly change my approach but something like cheating on a partner? That’s a given, that’s not something anybody needs to teach not to do. If cheating means something different to a man then it does a woman, he should understand if a woman cheats then, also if he’s in a monogamous relationship then why is he cheating? Just don’t be in a monogamous relationship then, it’s that simple. Make excuses to make a ton of broken homes and broken people like Nick Cannon does. At least all his newest women knew what to expect….but ouch- those poor kids growing up without a father.
Amen, Lovers of themselves, my man said to me He was the PRIZE, I HURRIED UP AND RAN because I know that I being the women was the GIFT from GOD that bring FAVOR TO THE MEN
As a woman who relies on instacart for Her income (I went to college btw so I could Do “better”/I have had “better” jobs… I do instacart bc I absolutely love Grocery shopping) it’s astounding to me how many men are comfortable doing instacart full time like me (I’m not taking about guys who do it on the side for extra cash… very different) and don’t think it’s feminine. I chose to do this bc it makes me feel like I’m paid to be a house wife! So many men are in denial about how feminine they’re being. And I agree-they are taking over female-driven industries. 🤦♀️instacart even sends shoppers to Sephora (makeup) and Guys will shop for those orders!!🤯
@@mentalhealingwithelaine yes those are traditionally feminine fields. You must be triggered bc you’re either feminist and/or you’re dating someone who does it 😂pick me energy
I know a lot of men need some guidance when it comes to dating because they do crazy things on the first date like asking her if she can cook or clean like their dating on defense mode and it’s just bad from the start. I think if we work on being friends first it will be the foundation of a healthy relationship
Omg! Can I like this a million times? 😂I just had a convo with a friend and we were talking about the same thing. This new age of men act like women and want to be treated like one. I just don’t completely understand it but I hope things turn around soon. Thanks for your transparency Tony.
I love when Mr. Gaskins can sit down away from the outside noise, treadmills, and really key in on a subject. This video right here I bet was partially or fully influenced by this comment I saw him make on a post, about a guy who said hes never getting married, and want multiple women only, bt he lets the women know that upfront. Either way, Mr. Gaskins is speaking so much truth in this video, of why men do the things they do, cse if u ask me, men were more willing to be boyfriends more in the early 2000's etc. and more men want multiple women catering to them, than taking a chance on being a husband 🙄 💯❤❤❤❤❤
Another aspect is not only do some men receive negative messages about dating and marriage from other men but also from some of the hurt and bitter women in their lives too. An unhealed moma can mess a son up quick!
Absolutely no one wants to mention how mother issues can be just like daddy issues for a woman I’ve experienced this with my ex his mom was a very selfish individual
I sincerely wonder why a lot of men even get married. It really seems like some of them want to play the field all the time. I went out with one and he always joked about wanting to have a hooker. I really think he probably was getting hookers. I enjoy Tony's candor very much. It's really funny how he is mentioning how some men want to be women and that is 100% true. And I think sometimes it has to do with drugs that these men are taking. I know that the last guy was with told me he was partying and he realized he wanted to be appreciated for his Beauty. I really had nothing but problems with this guy. It was a roller coaster ride.
This was a great message Mr. Gaskins 🙏🏽. I've been listening to you for a while but I subscribed off of this message. God Bless you and the spirit that he has put on you to deliver these messages.
Single women already taking out their own garbage. So that is not a deal breaker. But the toilet seat. Men just put the toilet seat back down. It’s not hard.
Thanks for your transparency about marriage. It is important to discuss expectations and roles in marriage before marriage . That is why I discussed everything with my fiance.
I enjoy watching your channel . Getting deep into detail putting it all out on the table and speaking true facts . Been in relationships with men that had no father figure verses being in a relationship with a man that had a father figure in his life there is a difference on actions and treatment .
Thank you for this because some guys don't really get how much it takes to raise kids carpool drive to your kids to another city for a better education and experience of their childhood and work full-time clean house etc and still be a good wife, this was an excellent video appreciate your honesty!
This was loaded with gems! Thank you. I work in a very male dominated industry so I hear all the things you mention almoat daily! Guys are always asking my opinion and I love that I can refer them to your videos even though your target audience ia women. And RESPECT to you and your wife for being ttansparent. If we were all more honest it'd be a much better world. Keep doing what you're doing! God bless.
Honestly im really at the point where im so sick of men and their lies and games. If they come with Any nonsense, inconsistency, etc i walk away with no discussion. We are grown they should know better
What I did (and what I notice no one seems to do) is have a list of the fundamental things I needed in a long term partner: loyalty, trust, ambition, caring, ability to improve (not potential- ABILITY). I hated some things but I chose to work through them since the important things were there. We’ve been together as long as you and your wife :) blessings!
Tell him to keep dreaming. These men will realize it after good women keep leaving them because they don't have anything to offer. Then they will complain about how there are no good women lol
I appreciate the realness shared in this video. Many of the points you mentioned, I had already previously observed through life thus far (via observing others and also from my own experiences). Thank you Tony 🙌🏽✨
I wish all husbands understood this. Some husbands you will be working and they still expect you to be domesticated it's like how, when we need the help sir
Men do not want or respect what they do not work for. Women are just way too easy. I get it ; when we crush on someone we let our guards down..but ladies let's do better.
It definitely will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier for you and your wife because when kids get just a little bit of attention from their parents it will be more peace in the home when kids appreciate the time given them you are more likely to be much happier and more productive at least as a parent (Women) for me I believe this will be a good thing and a challenge that makes us better people at home first. Thanks for sharing, God gives birth to their own story after doing the work.
This man one day told me he was gonna teach me how to drink, it’s a doctor yall!!lol. Anyway he told me if you drink vodka, people won’t be able to smell the alcohol on you. I used to suspect he was tipsy or something at work. Sometimes he does and says some off the wall stuff, now I see why.
Everything you said was spot on. Simply put..yall are a TEAM and work to make things EASIER FOR EACH OTHER however that is for y'all. It doesn't seem as if yall undervalue each other as INDIVIDUALS and not just a wife or husband.
I've had more than 1 Black man tell me he was a "hot commodity" because he's educated and employed. Say they can have sex with any woman they want so what is the appeal of "settling"? I'm so over the single scene - honestly, if the Lord wanted me to be married he would have brought me a husband...I am at peace.
Working in the medical field these older men are doing horrible ‼️ they are collapsing left and right with heavy regret ‼️ no visitors ‼️ if a man that haven’t collapsed yet have the big head ‼️ what role are women playing in this ‼️
There is a lot of hurt men out here. Matter of fact we live in a time where you have men that want to use women and you have women that want to use men. As a young guy in his 20’s I honestly don’t see the value of relationship anymore. People out here have no discipline, having all these kids with different type of people and no substance. You have young men and women my age that’s on their third child and third baby mama or father. We live in crazy times.
There’s value.. God would not have created a helpmeet for Adam if there were no value for unions/relationship/marriage. If we stop idolizing everything/everyone over God then we could have better relationships. Your friends put pleasing the flesh first.
Cmon. Yassss I just said this about our grandmothers had two bedroom houses vs 4+ bdrms and 3 levels. Men need to hear and understand this. Laundry, ironing, mopping, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, cooking etc.
I'm sooo like your wife. The trash? It's just not that serious. Ultimately I hear that you and your wife are really good friends at the core and you both protect the peace and pleasure within your relationship. Thats flourishing to ME. Most relationships are propped up on the IDEA of what it could be, but the REALITY of building a thriving relationship requires that the relationship be grounded IN reality. The housekeeper is a real deal. When you're actually nurturing a business, career, family, AND a relationship that domestic stuff can be outsourced 🙌.
Stop telling men to get married at 40 when Erectile dysfunction is knocking at their door‼️ as a man said recently you tell men to be 304s all their life and then think he can commit to 1 woman at 35-40‼️ that marriage will fail ‼️ men also lose their health in huge numbers after 50 Will their bros be taking care of them 🤡
This was so dope & informative especially for a single person like myself. Thank you & your wife for being so open & willing to share your stories. I am full of respect for what you make us privy to. It's necessary and appreciated!!
I had a male therapist that told me a man was a prize. Needless to say I never went back.
I wouldn’t go back either.
The sheer audacity of that therapist 😮
Sounds like he was trying to groom you into some foolishness with him.
Men are the prize yet can’t stop obsessing and talking about women. If they were the prize why so many on dating apps desperate for ‘female attention’?
LOL 😂😭 He was projecting to say the least.
See this is why I will just remain single, chase my dreams and goals, and let God direct me. If my husband finds me, great, if not, even better. The dating pool has acid in it and I’m not about to willing step in it. 😊
Trying to get to this place. More power to you my friend
@@kimberlys347 you can do it! It’s a mind shift that requires time and intentional work on your part to seek and learn new and healthy perspectives while actively working to not give in to the old ways in which you have always done things. After the stuff I went through in marriage with my son’s dad, I’ve come to the conclusion that a relationship is not all that people make it out to be especially when both parties have unhealed trauma that is causing them to behave in unhealthy ways. I have a newfound appreciation and understanding for just being single and embracing it. I could go get into a relationship tomorrow if I really wanted to but I don’t want just any kind of man to settle with.
1000000000%
Well said sweetie I feel u that's what I'm on now
Same. I highly agree with you. Well said!
So difficult to meet someone who is serious about dating . Tough times out here!
@@designhub360customapparel all
There’s not really TRULY a lot of single men. IN ALL ASPECTS. They’re either tied to an ex, baby mama, a bunch of sneaky links, etc. but SINGLE SINGLE? Nah, they’re very few out here.
True, there’s always in between something. You’re right
@@kimberlys347 facts. Dating in 2022 is HARDER than ever before. You know back in the day when you got someone phone number before cell phones people VALUED approaching each other. You get home check your caller id and call them on your house phone etc. Now with cellphones Facebook etc there’s so many “options” people have the SHORTEST attention span ever. Dating apps are trash pretty much for the most part. I’m a black man aged 25 and i studied this a lot. A lot of advice guys over 50 give me is outdated to an extent being a nice guy gentlemen don’t work like it used to back in the day. Just like how you don’t apply for most jobs in person most is online etc TIMES HAVE CHANGED. The black marriage rate is currently 30% and in 1960 it was 60%. Brace yourself it’s only gonna get a little worse overtime. When women have kids outta wedlock most men dont wanna marry them and most women want fit men that make at least 75k gotta be tall handsome. Everyone wants the exception social media makes it look like there’s millions of studs and it’s really not that many.
Where do you see things headed?
That is absolutely correct. I am single single (no kids/no baby daddy drama/no ex-husband drama) and I believe that it scares men. Like I'm a foreign object....lol smh. I've learned that I'm fortunate enough to still enjoy life at my leisure while men in my age bracket or older can't even afford to take off for one day, bc they have financial obligations (child support/alimony/kids in college) that don't allow them to have any leisure time. And if they do have leisure times, it's for them (video games, basketball, football, Mary Jane or gambling) They say they want a relationship but they don't create the space for one. They just want a women to fit into their mess.
No.
@@ceeb107 you said a handful but you said it all.
@@Ms.J. same here! I’m with you on this!
As a woman, I feel the same way but the complaints are flipped. I have been questioning if marriage is worth it for atleast 2 years now. So many married women are constantly getting cheated on, several of their husbands have had side babies on them, they’re always so exhausted because not only do they have to do all the housework/cleaning/cooking/homework and childcare but they ALSO have to work 40 hours a week at a job these days. I swear it doesn’t sound worth it at all. I remember there was this Twitter thread that went viral last year where women admitted that they feel like single mothers inside their marriages, because they practically get no help from their husbands. Smh.
I listen to you to hear the other side of things, but 50% of me still questions whether marriage would be an enjoyable commitment.
In response to the point you made, always keep in mind that there are multiple reasons why two people get married. Every marriage is NOT a match that was made from heaven.
I got married in 1998 and I can tell you from experience, marriage is two people merging their lives together to live as one unit. Marriage is never ending work, but to experience a healthy and successful marriage two people have to have the kind of mutual love makes them both forget their heart was ever broken by another human being. When two people find that in each other, marriage will be worth the never ending work required to last until death do you part!!
In response to the point you made, always keep in mind that there are multiple reasons why two people get married. Every marriage is NOT a match that was made from heaven.
I got married in 1998 and I can tell you from experience, marriage is two people merging their lives together to live as one unit. Marriage is never ending work, but to experience a healthy and successful marriage two people have to have the kind of mutual love makes them both forget their heart was ever broken by another human being. When two people find that in each other, marriage will be worth the never ending work required to last until death do you part!!
Great comment. I agree completely. I see the same things happening to my friends too. Women are literally work horses for men now. A married woman shouldn't have to work outside the house if she's the one doing most of the work inside it. And that's without children in the picture. If kids are added in to the equation then he should be doing all the providing, period. As for the cheating....a man who has other options will more often than not, exercise them 😔.
@@angelicaangel2624 and that’s the thing, we women don’t have to take cheating anymore if we don’t want to. We can take care of ourselves.
Marriage is becoming a juice that is no longer worth the squeeze. I was married for almost 10 years and I then dated after my divorce. It’s the same thing. The men have a laundry list for you while they show up with so little. And all my married friends, they all have the same complaints. If the men would learn how to keep a woman the way we had to learn to keep a man, relationships would last.
I just had to block a guy I was talking to. He said it should be equal. If a woman isn’t calling or texting him, he’s not calling or texting her. Then he went on to state that his SINGLE mom told him that. He got mad because I asked him was she married. I told him he will forever be SINGLE. Any woman that settles for him is just desperate. Women are the prize & the catch. It’s the man job to work for it, once he’s shows it then the woman reciprocate it. Today men get on social media, posting more pics than woman. Talk about popular episodes on Netflix that women watch. Do the latest TikTok trends/dances. When you ladies see signs like this in a man…. RUN!!!!!! They are jealous of women & want to be us!!! RUN!!!!!!
Women should reciprocate and show interest. It’s a relationship where both men and women benefit. He should initiate most of the times…not all.
Very shallow thinking and their is 55 more women who think like this smdh
We Don’t Want To Be Women 😂😂😂
@@Bidness100 so why did you reply? Obviously it’s not about you but you took the time out to respond 👀
@@BeautyIam819 Because It’s Hilarious That You Truly Think That 😀
Most people don't know to establish a connection, just a soul tie and it's a big difference. To have a connection is freedom whereas soul ties are bondage.
Deep
💯
This is a word 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Tony, youre so right. Lovers of themselves, lovers of money, lacking natural human affection. So sad 😢
Times are so different now. To be a lady and want to be asked out on dates by a man. Is hard some men don't ask. I hate some of my family say I have to be aggressive. Sometimes yes I ask but I want to be PURSUED! It is not easy being SINGLE!! 😔
You have to wine & dine yourself, now days.
We have to be aware..it is going to get worse.
Aint no men pursueing lol
Betta pay for a man
They want you to be in the talking stage for months to get to know you before asking you on a date. I rather just stay single then
@@Didi-fr5ic That's so sad because I have young single women in my family and for each generation it is getting harder to find a serious-minded mate for good relationship.
Where did this "prize" talk come from? I don't want a prize. I want a blessing
I hear a lot more women complaining about marriage and their husbands these days. I think that a lot of women still want to get married because we are so conditioned to think marriage is like a fairytale from Hollywood and is the ultimate happiness. Men don't get those same messages constantly forced on them from a young age. Women are changing now though I can see the shift.
Well according to the Bible we shouldnt be having relations w/o marriage. Not speaking for all women, but that's what I look at . Especially all the single mothers, as a woman, it's security. They complain so much about single mothers it's almost like they're running women away. Just my perspective. It's to the point, I'm not even wanting a relationship no time soon .
Women want security and we feel security in the contract of marriage. We also feel self respect when we don't allow a man to sleep with us UNLESS he signs that contract. Giving ALL of us just as a girlfriend feels wrong especially that with one sentence "let's break up" everyone goes their separate way. At least with marriage there is still a cultural taboo with cheating in comparison to gf/bf cheating. Divorce is a long process that gives respect to the relationship, while gf/bf breakups are short and cold making the relationship seem easily replaceable.
That's how I feel about + the religious aspect of it.
I'm old school and my feelings are so hurt by this new 2022 mindset of men. To some women having to make the 1st move is not natural and could be the reason not the excuse as to why some women are with the wrong man😮💨😥😢
Until women stop giving the milk away for free, men will no longer be purchasing cows. I’m a single woman and I don’t blame them. 🤷🏽♀️
Just know that when women stop giving it up, they still won't get married. They will get more and more feminine and screw each other more. 🤷🏾♀️ Just saying
@@MayaONeil23 With women being so desperate, we’ll never know! Lol
Yes! We want men to grow up, meanwhile, women aren't putting their foot down. Just accepting 🗑️ left and right. Smh
Smh lord I wish so too , because they are making hard for me the good woman. I have friend’s who just meet men and just give the milk 🥛 for free in one week. Making it hard for me because now the men expect me to bust down. After some barbecue chicken wings and some celery stick with ranch Long Island 🏝 tea. I had to disassociate myself from my friends. Because they’ve given off desperate vibes. By sleeping with ppl they don’t like . Karzy smh
So very true!! I wish I could pin your comment Sis 🎯🎯🎯
I was blessed to grow up in a two parent household. They were married 65yrs and 11 months…….and that’s bc he got called home to be with God. (He really was a true servant of the Lord)
At almost 52 years old I cannot tell you how over I am caring about what men want. They’re ridiculous
Agreed!
This was a whole Masterclass. Thanks Tony. As a single person, I appreciate the realness and transparency.
It really was!!
I think a huge problem is that most men nowadays think they are entitled to a woman/wife just because they are a man. They under a spell of thinking that they shouldn't have to work to develop and maintain a relationship with a woman. That somehow that's the woman's job to not only pursue but to sustain the relationship. Now women don't need men to survive, so men actually have to be good genuine men in order to get the women they want. Plus, women can just leave the situation when she is not being fulfilled in the relationship. Men are not afraid of marriage, they are afraid of divorce. Most men know they aren't husband material. Also they refuse to seek guidance or emotional intelligence to become husband material. Its the whole getting a trophy just for showing up mindset they are operating on. And that's not flying with women anymore.
All facts!
E x a c t l y! Well said! They don't want women to tell them what to do AND they don't want to think and do the work themselves.
Very true. Just had that conversation with boyfriend because he was upset at me for not waking him up for our date.
@@j_bubblez279 RUN. If today he expects you to wake him up for a date, imagine five, ten, or fifteen years in. RUN. That is a level of irresponsibility -- because we have alarms on our cellphones -- that will not get better no matter how much you talk with him.
BINGO!!
You are so right. I think there is a low key subconscious competition amongst women. That's what social media platforms are all about...displaying what you've got going on in your life for all the viewers to see. Not sure if men do this or not but I do believe a lot of women are guilty of it. That's why I had to disable my fb and disconnect from all friends on Instagram bcuz I didn't like how it made me feel towards other women and actually men included and I don't want anyone looking my way judging me.
I agree with you, in regards to Social Media. Some people use it just for that, myself included, and some people use it to boast and brag. Alot of it is fake. Online they're one way but if you run into them at the grocery store or the mall, they're the complete opposite. Sometimes I deactivate my accounts too. Especially if I find myself spending too much time on it (more than once a day). After 9pm is a no for me because it just ends up being endless/pointless scrolling.
@@LA-wv7gf Same...agreed.
Totally agree. It's very fake and tends to lead to drama.
Sis, it ISN'T LOW KEY‼️🤔😯😐🙁😥
I agree..I deactivated Facebook and Instagram because there was just to much going on in terms of how we should feel and things of that nature. Only on TikTok because see you don't have to friend anyone to see decent content.
Bromance is real. Especially if they’re in a fraternity.
Chill 😂
@@mr.brooks9802 Lol, are you in one?
@@akilahbatyah6505 I am. Funny enough, I’m in the airport listening to this video after coming from a trip with some of my Fraternity brothers lol
@@mr.brooks9802 😆😆😆Are you a Q?
@@akilahbatyah6505 Alpha
It’s also so unfortunate for the women who truly desire a life partner… Fear gets in the way almost every time.
Tony
I have been listening to you for the past week because I got hurt..I like to communicate my feelings when it bothers me I never ghost people. I met him at the gym first weekend great..second weekend he ask me am I seeing you I said yes..a whole weekend goes by..only saw him when I went out..I send a beautifull voice message saying I wish him well but I am not being valued and he makes it easy for me to walk away friendship is about respect. It's been a week nothing. He is a grown boy
I am not chasing his silent treatment gave me my answer, I could never understand why woman say don't be afraid to lose him, I think if I was he would've taken me for granted. I am so proud of myself to finally stand up for myself as a woman and calling him out early on. Writing this just gives me a sense of peace ✌ I don't regret sending that..I am proud because they will use us for months. Thank you sir :) and thanx for reading youtubers..woman are so hurt today because of men for real
stop writing to them. stop leaving rediculous voice messages. you did it to see if you could get him to chase. women's strength is in being feminine, holding a poised dignified stance and shutting your mouth
@@lisettecamejo4243 if you don't check a man on his behavior how will friendships and relationships ever work..communication is key not shutting your mouth and ghosting people unless it's abusive..and communicating is feminine ghosting is immature so let that sink in. Woman should express themselves to a man because if we don't we will resent them and walk on egg shells all the time..don't tell me what's best for me
Count it a true blessing when people show you who they are in the early stages. Move on, and be thankful.
I would say, do not get attached to men so quickly because of a good 1st and 2nd date. Those 2 dates are just trying to feel the person out. If you feel you’re getting “hurt” from barely knowing a guy, you may need to do some inner work. I used to be the same way but worked on my self esteem. Realizing the guy didn’t hurt me but my expectations and the idea of him being something more when he wasn’t is what hurt me. Sometimes we as women break our own hearts.
I feel you with this! I did the same with a friend but I didn’t do it as early as I should’ve though. I don’t like ghosting. I just told him i felt resentful because of past actions and saw his reaction/response. He didn’t text back after a week, so I said thanks and goodbye and blocked him. I felt so much at peace after and feel like I’ve grown from doing it! There are some people that you may have ghost though
Man I’m 21 bro an Im a man myself an I appreciate all the content you post an im single thank you bro you are a blessing
I appreciate that
I hope that God working in your heart through these videos and is allowing you to use ears of discernment to grow 🙏🏾
I am not a millionaire, but your busy lifestyle is normal in my area, and it is stressful. When I was married and the kids growing up, I worked long hours, went to school, cleaned up the house with multiple levels, bedrooms bathrooms,. I cooked, and took all 7 kids (blended family) to games and practices. It's a lot, and instead of my husband helping me, he went out and had affairs because he said I was no fun anymore! Some people are very selfish. He is now sick, alone, and our grown kids don't want to be bothered with him and won't even take his calls. Our 2 youngest are in college and they tell me how grateful they are for me being able to do it all! So if these single men don't want to help, then they can go on to the next woman.
One out of four people I know personally like their marriage, and they have been married for only 5 years.
I think the problem with most relationships is that a lot of people quickly let familiarity breed contempt, and they don’t wanna work to sustain the relationship
This is so true, even for the older men in 70, and 60.
I think one of the messages here is "don't worry about what other ppl think, listen to your heart to know what's best for you and follow your heart.
I always wondered why I valued relationships and marriage. Thank you Tony. I grew up in a household where my parents stayed married, although it’s not exactly ideal or happily ever after, I never witnessed my father with multiple women or my mom with multiple men. I have a half sister from my dads first marriage where she prides herself on “having options” and that’s because she watched her mom cheat on my father the entire relationship. When my dad married my mom, she is a modest woman who knows her value and doesn’t get off on outside validation or attention. She raised me to value sex and relationships. I went until 20 not having sex and I’m fresh out a toxic relationship at 26 to a man with a porn and sex addiction. I wasn’t getting dates, flowers, phone calls with substance (anymore), and I was like this just isn’t working, your sex isn’t keeping me emotionally interested in you when everything else is missing, we have to end this. So we ended it but he’s gonna find a woman who values sex over real partnership (what I offered) and he’s gonna miss what I brought to the table. That’s okay though, I’m going to find an emotionally intelligent and sexually disciplined man that shares my core values and I can build a stable future with. I watched my parents maintain a stable household financially and everything else, I will not be accepting less, I have wonderful examples. Men these days can’t understand why I decline meeting at their homes / letting them pick me up / minimal effort dating because I have standards and expectations for myself and of others. My mom drilled into my head how to be a woman, a wife and a mother.
Your sister had the right idea.
@@foreverolly8864 in what way?
@@monicanicole738 she realized and prided herself on having options. She wasn’t afraid to date different guys, even if you looked down on her for it.
@@foreverolly8864 oh, I see what you mean. When I said this statement I was referring to the fact she cheats on the men she’s in committed relationships with and makes them work super hard only for her to screw them over. She got upset at me because I don’t date men, cheat nor do I have sex with everyone I’m just casually dating. Having options to me doesn’t mean entertaining just everybody, I look for substance, she looks for warm bodies..
@@monicanicole738 if she’s not married to them is she cheating? Why are you so willing to offer this kind of commitment while dating? There’s no such thing as committed relationships without marriage. Stop judging that girl, sounds like she got it right while you’re sitting here wondering why the dudes won’t commit to you.
I like how real you are Tony. You said a lot of days it feels like you are with a man. And you still love her unconditionally. A lot of men would complain about that and leave.
You are one of two men that I watch videos on that is giving actual genuine advice. I wish everyone would see this and wake up. Thank you so much for sharing from your heart.
Ladies the key is pray pray for the guys to heal grow up n become masculine again
So glad you and your wife are doing great. Yall are definitely marriage material.
Great message Tony! I'm glad I grew up in the 90s so I know what dating was before this hook-up culture. And because this I won't settle for a lukewarm man --- I hint any sign that I am a part of a roster --- I'm out! No judgment if that's what he wants but it's not in alignment with my goal of a God ordained husband. So ladies don't settle less than you deserve and no wife benefits for boyfriends (cooking, cleaning, handling his affairs).
Preach Tony! People have unrealistic expectations of marriage. Thank you for keeping it real and sharing your truth.
No lies told Uncle Tony. Also factor in that some men were molested and have not healed from that trauma to even focus or date a woman smh
Thank you for your wisdom. From Africa, Zambia 🇿🇲
Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. (Proverbs 16:18)
Amen.
My grandma told me, “All men are the same just pick a face and a wallet you like.”
.
.
When she told me I didn’t understand what she meant. Bc I grew up in the 1%! Men who are CEO’s, doctors, lawyers, very powerful men. All my friends and I came from two parent house holds! Out of me and my 5 closest friends, I only believe one man name Tim truly loved his wife. And all my friends had white fathers. Even when I made friends with other nationalities, “Korean, Mexican, Indian.) All came from two parent house holds, but None of them seem to really appreciate their wife just tolerate! All around me everyone was married, but I only believed Tim truly loved his wife. Even my dad still tolerates my mom. I felt like all the other marriages were terrible business deals. Mind you, my friends and I grew up with maids, nanny, cooks, all types of help. And still the wife’s were not truly valued! Now I can count two men who love their wife, Tony being the second man!
I think that we are already lovers of themselves. I haven’t heard many ministries translate that scriptural portion in that way. I’ve only heard it translated concerning homosexuals, though I believe that both applies. But I also feel that it means narcissism, and self centeredness.
🎯🎯💯💯💔
Yes! Its about making ourselves gods😔 and praise the self
I love my life, but I’m lonely at times without a partner. People my age are busy with their spouses and or kids so I’m alone a lot of the time. I love companionship. I feel like I’ll be single forever because I haven’t found someone who is consistent long term. it would be so nice to have a life long partner who’s shows to be on the same team as me.
My grandparents had their roles and they had a great respectful marriage with 6 kids. My grandpa made sure everyone respected my grandma. It’s hard to see that in younger generations. Men and women used to be expected to have traditional roles and I think that may have helped with the success since universal expectations offer guidance in what position you play on the team but I question the closeness or openness and humility. Did they always feel reserved or could they be their true selves 100% of the time? My grandma seemed too be reserved but my grandpa was not.
Just thinking (typing) out loud.
My sentiments exactly
Serious question, since it’s a known fact that men and women cheat differently. If you had a partner/husband who cheated, but it seriously meant nothing, yet he still was affectionate and doing what needed to be done at home , yet you found out he cheated, ? Knowing what you know now about loneliness etc, how would you handle that situation ? Would u leave ?
@@nolimitkk2715 why do you assume he will cheat. SMH y’all are miserable. Not every man cheats nor does every relationship ends due to infidelity
@@nolimitkk2715 I would definitely leave. I’d feel more lonely than I am when I’m single! I’d look at him as a roommate, or an acquaintance, show him respect (eventually lol) and also save money and make plans to leave. I’ve tried staying before and it just wasn’t the same. It’s really hard when someone offers a lot of good because it messes with my mind, but cheating isn’t just a red flag, it’s a deal breaker for me so I have to remind myself that each time I’m feeling weak.
I also will never live with anyone again unless we are engaged. So that helps with my own personal security.
I think it takes a very rare personality to be able to rebuild trust and have the patience to do so after that much damage.
Everyone’s different though, for me, cheating and then coming home to sleep with me is almost like rape- I’m not consenting to that dynamic and being taken advantage of. For someone to betray me and then keep it a secret, which is even worse, I don’t believe there’s a man who would put in the effort to rebuild, if our relationship was mutually important then I’d expect him to prevent cheating and temptation be rebuilding himself if he felt like he couldn’t resist. That’s just how I personally feel about it. Many people feel differently and I wish I could be one of those people. I can forgive but if my heart isn’t 100% in and open (which it couldn’t be after that level of betrayal) then I won’t feel authentic in myself.
When friends and family and strangers do things that damage us, most of us protect ourselves unless it’s fully resolved and behavior stops, if not, we distant ourselves or change the relationship if we want to keep it bad enough. I expect my partner to be the one person who doesn’t betray me because honestly we don’t betray people we really love, we make mistakes, we don’t betray. I have kids and I could never ever betray them, I could never betray my family or friends either. If someone feels betrayed by something I say or do then I’ll gladly change my approach but something like cheating on a partner? That’s a given, that’s not something anybody needs to teach not to do.
If cheating means something different to a man then it does a woman, he should understand if a woman cheats then, also if he’s in a monogamous relationship then why is he cheating? Just don’t be in a monogamous relationship then, it’s that simple. Make excuses to make a ton of broken homes and broken people like Nick Cannon does. At least all his newest women knew what to expect….but ouch- those poor kids growing up without a father.
@@mentalhealingwithelaine I think you read her comment wrong. She didn’t assume anything.
This needs to be seen everywhere !!!! This was a WORD Tony !!
Wow. I love this video. Dating has changed so much and men are not men anymore. It’s sad
Love this sm🙏 this discussion needs to be everywhere
Amen, Lovers of themselves, my man said to me He was the PRIZE, I HURRIED UP AND RAN because I know that I being the women was the GIFT from GOD that bring FAVOR TO THE MEN
You said your man but you said you ran which one is it ❓
As a woman who relies on instacart for
Her income (I went to college btw so I could
Do “better”/I have had “better” jobs… I do instacart bc I absolutely love
Grocery shopping) it’s astounding to me how many men are comfortable doing instacart full time like me (I’m not taking about guys who do it on the side for extra cash… very different) and don’t think it’s feminine. I chose to do this bc it makes me feel like I’m paid to be a house wife! So many men are in denial about how feminine they’re being. And I agree-they are taking over female-driven industries. 🤦♀️instacart even sends shoppers to Sephora (makeup) and Guys will shop for those orders!!🤯
Wow ignorant. So a man working in a certain job is feminine. What about kale nurses or teachers. Are they feminine too? These are mainly women fields.
@@mentalhealingwithelaine yes those are traditionally feminine fields. You must be triggered bc you’re either feminist and/or you’re dating someone who does it 😂pick me energy
Happy you have a job you love
I know a lot of men need some guidance when it comes to dating because they do crazy things on the first date like asking her if she can cook or clean like their dating on defense mode and it’s just bad from the start. I think if we work on being friends first it will be the foundation of a healthy relationship
I agree with this so much. It is a turn off when they are in defense mode or looking to see what you can do for them
Omg! Can I like this a million times? 😂I just had a convo with a friend and we were talking about the same thing. This new age of men act like women and want to be treated like one. I just don’t completely understand it but I hope things turn around soon. Thanks for your transparency Tony.
Well feminism made women want to be like men, so now you have women being like men and men like women😭
I love when Mr. Gaskins can sit down away from the outside noise, treadmills, and really key in on a subject. This video right here I bet was partially or fully influenced by this comment I saw him make on a post, about a guy who said hes never getting married, and want multiple women only, bt he lets the women know that upfront. Either way, Mr. Gaskins is speaking so much truth in this video, of why men do the things they do, cse if u ask me, men were more willing to be boyfriends more in the early 2000's etc. and more men want multiple women catering to them, than taking a chance on being a husband 🙄 💯❤❤❤❤❤
Another aspect is not only do some men receive negative messages about dating and marriage from other men but also from some of the hurt and bitter women in their lives too. An unhealed moma can mess a son up quick!
An unhealed father can mess up his daughters worse.
Absolutely no one wants to mention how mother issues can be just like daddy issues for a woman I’ve experienced this with my ex his mom was a very selfish individual
@@ARS-fn6px It’s not a competition lol
Not the booty🤣🤣🤣 it's the way you said it. They even getting their finger nail polished
It's so sad!!!!
I sincerely wonder why a lot of men even get married. It really seems like some of them want to play the field all the time. I went out with one and he always joked about wanting to have a hooker. I really think he probably was getting hookers. I enjoy Tony's candor very much. It's really funny how he is mentioning how some men want to be women and that is 100% true. And I think sometimes it has to do with drugs that these men are taking. I know that the last guy was with told me he was partying and he realized he wanted to be appreciated for his Beauty. I really had nothing but problems with this guy. It was a roller coaster ride.
Wow what a shame 🤦🏾
Career benefits.
@@Thatbul True and social status. People view married men more trust worthy than single men. It's also helpful in business.
This was a great message Mr. Gaskins 🙏🏽.
I've been listening to you for a while but I subscribed off of this message.
God Bless you and the spirit that he has put on you to deliver these messages.
Single women already taking out their own garbage. So that is not a deal breaker. But the toilet seat. Men just put the toilet seat back down. It’s not hard.
Facts. We already do that “manly”stuff so that’s not an issue to still do it in a relationship.
Thanks for your transparency about marriage. It is important to discuss expectations and roles in marriage before marriage . That is why I discussed everything with my fiance.
I enjoy watching your channel . Getting deep into detail putting it all out on the table and speaking true facts . Been in relationships with men that had no father figure verses being in a relationship with a man that had a father figure in his life there is a difference on actions and treatment .
So true
I agree with this but I think the key is a “healthy” father figure. I know quite a few narcissists that had father figures in the home lol
Thank you for this because some guys don't really get how much it takes to raise kids carpool drive to your kids to another city for a better education and experience of their childhood and work full-time clean house etc and still be a good wife, this was an excellent video appreciate your honesty!
This was loaded with gems! Thank you. I work in a very male dominated industry so I hear all the things you mention almoat daily! Guys are always asking my opinion and I love that I can refer them to your videos even though your target audience ia women. And RESPECT to you and your wife for being ttansparent. If we were all more honest it'd be a much better world. Keep doing what you're doing! God bless.
This is the most truthful channel on RUclips! God bless you and your family Tony Gaskins!
Blessings to you Bro Tony, I got to do catch up with your videos , am enjoying my Birthday weekend in Myrtle Beach. now am relaxing and watching.🙏🏾😊❤️
Happy birthday
@@TonyGaskins Thank you Bro Tony , Blessings to you and your beautiful family 🙏🏾❤️😊
Honestly im really at the point where im so sick of men and their lies and games. If they come with Any nonsense, inconsistency, etc i walk away with no discussion. We are grown they should know better
Best video ever! Shared this with my “grown boy” friend. Thank you for the message.
What I did (and what I notice no one seems to do) is have a list of the fundamental things I needed in a long term partner: loyalty, trust, ambition, caring, ability to improve (not potential- ABILITY). I hated some things but I chose to work through them since the important things were there. We’ve been together as long as you and your wife :) blessings!
I recently had a Man who said “he is the prize”😆😩😩 lol
Tell him to keep dreaming. These men will realize it after good women keep leaving them because they don't have anything to offer. Then they will complain about how there are no good women lol
@@la6136 lol I laughed so hard, I never looked back😆😆😆😩
Lol sis
He would’ve been in competition with you the entire time. Glad you didn’t entertain that!
Lol absolutely not!
This is sooo true it’s sad!
So is there any hope for traditional, conservative women in their 30s who want to marry masculine men after traditional courtships at all?
Tony I love your honesty ❤. You have a calling for honesty. Your honesty is a blessing 🙏. PLEASE DON'T CHANGE!!!
First 5 minutes scream facts 💯💯💯
Tony always keepin it 💯. Thank you for preaching the real word Mr.Gaskins. God bless you and your family
I appreciate the realness shared in this video. Many of the points you mentioned, I had already previously observed through life thus far (via observing others and also from my own experiences).
Thank you Tony 🙌🏽✨
Tony
You Always Hit The Nail Square On The Head...You truly are gifted and heavy in your Purpose..Be Blessed Sir! 🙏🏽🤎🖤💪🏽
I wish all husbands understood this. Some husbands you will be working and they still expect you to be domesticated it's like how, when we need the help sir
Yes, some of those IG comments were clear indications of what you’ve been telling us.
Men do not want or respect what they do not work for. Women are just way too easy. I get it ; when we crush on someone we let our guards down..but ladies let's do better.
Who are these woman? I literally know no woman who is easy or sleeps with a man who she barely knows. Where are these women???
2 Timothy 3 is what's happening now. Love should rule the world, for many self preservation is what rules the world.
Tony always on 🎯! Thank you for sharing your wisdom 🙏🏽
It definitely will be hard in the beginning, but it will get easier for you and your wife because when kids get just a little bit of attention from their parents it will be more peace in the home when kids appreciate the time given them you are more likely to be much happier and more productive at least as a parent (Women) for me I believe this will be a good thing and a challenge that makes us better people at home first. Thanks for sharing, God gives birth to their own story after doing the work.
Tony i am so happy o have discovred this channel few years ago!!!
Thank you for this important message. Your videos are always quite informative. I respect you, Mr. Gaskins.
Again, you are speaking straight truth.
This man one day told me he was gonna teach me how to drink, it’s a doctor yall!!lol. Anyway he told me if you drink vodka, people won’t be able to smell the alcohol on you. I used to suspect he was tipsy or something at work. Sometimes he does and says some off the wall stuff, now I see why.
Wow smh
LOVE the hour videos. Would love if you kept em coming. Appreciate you doing videos Tony! Big help!
As a newly married woman I'm glad I listened to this.
Congrats lady!! 🎉
@@brittanyr1456 ❤️💕
Everything you said was spot on.
Simply put..yall are a TEAM and work to make things EASIER FOR EACH OTHER however that is for y'all. It doesn't seem as if yall undervalue each other as INDIVIDUALS and not just a wife or husband.
I've had more than 1 Black man tell me he was a "hot commodity" because he's educated and employed. Say they can have sex with any woman they want so what is the appeal of "settling"? I'm so over the single scene - honestly, if the Lord wanted me to be married he would have brought me a husband...I am at peace.
Working in the medical field these older men are doing horrible ‼️ they are collapsing left and right with heavy regret ‼️ no visitors ‼️ if a man that haven’t collapsed yet have the big head ‼️ what role are women playing in this ‼️
Thank you for your transperancy Tony; this video has opened my eyes about my own relationship. God bless!
This was another real one Tony 🙌🏾
There is a lot of hurt men out here. Matter of fact we live in a time where you have men that want to use women and you have women that want to use men. As a young guy in his 20’s I honestly don’t see the value of relationship anymore. People out here have no discipline, having all these kids with different type of people and no substance. You have young men and women my age that’s on their third child and third baby mama or father. We live in crazy times.
I think it has a lot to do with what people saw growing up ☹️
💯 the earth is a ghetto place
There’s value.. God would not have created a helpmeet for Adam if there were no value for unions/relationship/marriage. If we stop idolizing everything/everyone over God then we could have better relationships. Your friends put pleasing the flesh first.
I'm in my 20s too and I agree.
Hook up culture, a lot of black families up bringings and how social media has made it easier to meet people.
Cmon. Yassss I just said this about our grandmothers had two bedroom houses vs 4+ bdrms and 3 levels. Men need to hear and understand this. Laundry, ironing, mopping, sweeping, dusting, vacuuming, cooking etc.
Tony you are absolutely correct! Thank you for all this good information. We appreciate you 🙏 ❤️
Be blessed Sir!
We have to keep telling the truth no matter how cultural hates it.
I'm sooo like your wife. The trash? It's just not that serious. Ultimately I hear that you and your wife are really good friends at the core and you both protect the peace and pleasure within your relationship. Thats flourishing to ME. Most relationships are propped up on the IDEA of what it could be, but the REALITY of building a thriving relationship requires that the relationship be grounded IN reality. The housekeeper is a real deal. When you're actually nurturing a business, career, family, AND a relationship that domestic stuff can be outsourced 🙌.
Stop telling men to get married at 40 when Erectile dysfunction is knocking at their door‼️ as a man said recently you tell men to be 304s all their life and then think he can commit to 1 woman at 35-40‼️ that marriage will fail ‼️ men also lose their health in huge numbers after 50 Will their bros be taking care of them 🤡
This was so dope & informative especially for a single person like myself. Thank you & your wife for being so open & willing to share your stories. I am full of respect for what you make us privy to. It's necessary and appreciated!!
Such wisdom brother Tony you are definitely anointed .
Gotta watch this one again. So much insight
This video was everything !!!
Great word Tony ! I thought when you took out that piece of paper you were giving us the numbers from back in the day 😂 anybody else think that ?
Gosh I appreciate this message so much. Your transparency is everything. Thank you
Great message Tony!