Top Surgery 101: Post Op Depression, Dysphoria, and Body Dysmorphia
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- Опубликовано: 30 авг 2018
- (CW: post op depression, eating disorder, body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria)
VIDEO ON HOW I OVERCAME DEPRESSION: • How I Managed My Depre...
^^ I thought that might be relevant
Thank you all so much for watching, ilu ❤❤❤
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My top surgery is in October but my little brother has aggressive kidney cancer that’s spread to his brain and I’m not sure he’s gonna live that long. I’m just praying that I get to love him long enough to show him the me I was supposed to be.
You are always so articulate and clear in the concepts you explain. As a cis woman, I better understand the interaction between body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria... this is so informative and important for everyone to know- cis or trans.
Your normal! Not some new speak cis....
@@stevedd9725
Lmao, cisgender just means that this person identifies with the gender they were assigned at birth.
No one has to bend to your „norm“. There is no such thing as normal as everyone is individual and different and that’s a beautiful thing.
i love the way you explain things and the way you talk and your voice and like the way you move your hands
thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this, im sure it will help a lot of people out there. I will remember this when i get top surgery
ps: this shirt looks amazing, the colors fit you really well
The book "30 Days to Reduce Depression" by Harper Daniels does a great job addressing depression.
Thanks Aaron. I'm getting top surgery this march and the one thing I'm super scared of is relying on other people for things, I already feel like so much of a burden just existing and being depressed and autistic, it's going to be tough being vulnerable and begging other people to take care of me. But you made me feel like I might be able to handle it okay, that its not forever and asking for something needed isnt the same as being demanding. I'm still scared but thank you
Have you ever considered teaching? There are so many non traditional settings for teaching and I think you'd be wonderful.
I really get it about your mom.... My mom came to take care of me for after my surgery, and she's doing a good job with taking care of me for the most part and I'm grateful, but she's not really the most supportive when it comes to me being trans, so anything that requires me showing my chest makes me feel so vulnerable and just awful to be honest even if she doesn't say anything I don't feel like I can trust her and it makes me not want to be in that situation, even though I need her and she's willing to help.
I’m so nervous for my surgery, I’m planning on getting it in the summer. My parents are very supportive, but I’m scared that I’m doing the wrong thing, even though no matter what I want my chest to not be like..this. I’m doing a lot of research recently and I’m pretty scared about the drains I’ll probably have to get, the fact the incisions might get infected, and the possibility of post-op depression and regret. I’m going into my second to last year of high school soon and I honestly don’t know what I’m more scared about. Going into my senior year with a flat chest and people noticing and saying things, or going into my senior year as a whole. I haven’t even got an evaluation yet and I’m scared that there might be complications that might make the healing process harder. Don’t get me wrong, I’m *so* thankful that I have people around me that support me and my family is going to pay for it, I know that many people don’t have that luxury, I know I’m lucky and it weighs on me. I dunno I just. Thank you for making this video. It’s helped me get a lot of insight into what might happen afterwards and before surgery and how to deal with it on an emotional scale.
This video meant a lot to me. I had my surgery on Monday (June 22nd) and I was scared cause I keep feeling really dysphoric and was reminded of my body dysmorphia. I looked at myself and thought I was so fat and disgusted with myself. I was happy to see I had a flat chest but I couldn't pay attention to that enough, I was not comfortable with how I looked. I was worried I made a mistake or everyone was right in saying it's a phase. I still have a few weeks to go for recovery and it's really hard cause my parents wanted it to be instantaneous, for me to be happy, but I can't feel happy so soon. I've been lucky where my EDS hasn't relapsed cause I've been sleeping so much, and unable to think about it, but I'm still sitting in a big funk of depression that makes this recovery hard. I appreciate this video a lot and it's good to know it's not all fun and rainbows, but it still hurts and takes time.
This is a while later... but I'm 3 weeks in recovery and I'm in the same circumstance. ED is relapsing and all I can think about is how girlish my hips/thighs look, and how maybe I should have just stayed a girl if I'm just going to be an unattractive boy. When did it get better for you? :(
@@alexe1673 I'm going to be honest, it hasn't stopped for me yet. Or at least, some parts of it. I no longer feel as dysphoric, but I struggle still every once in a while. With my new meds and some other circumstances, I won't delve into, I have gained a lot of weight, and am now on a diet and exercising to try and feel better. I look like a pregnant woman with how my gut has grown and it's been really hard for me. I agree that it's hard looking at your body and thinking "This still doesn't look right" but I'll reassure you that it *wasn't* a mistake, you'll feel better about yourself but it'll take time, and most of all working on it yourself. Get new clothes to make you feel better, do some mindful or gratifying exercises, exercise your body too. You just have to realise that not every body is perfect, media teaches us that to be a man you have to be some ripped, handsome man with a chiseled jaw and six pack. But not everyone can achieve that. And that's *okay.* I know I likely will never have a six pack, but I know that there are people out there who will love me and attribute terms of cub or dad bod to me. And if I truly work out and continue working it'll get better. And it'll definitely continue to get better with T, once I am stable enough to start taking it. Sorry for such a long ramble, but I hope my words have given you some hope. Good luck, dude!
Wow Aaron, another great video!!! I’m so happy that you’re helping the trans community.
As a cis gay guy, you are teaching me so much. I still say that I’m sorry you went through so much.
Love you buddy!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I’m not diagnosed, but it’s possible I have EDS and I was trying to explain my chest dysphoria to my mom and so she basically said I can’t ever get top surgery because of HSD, and I’d just have to suck it up and deal with it. I eventually got a binder and I can’t bind very often because Hypermobility+ asthma. Anyway I guess the point of this was that I really appreciate that you make these videos because it helps me see some of the logistics as someone with similar health issues. ❤️
I'm so grateful you're making this series because these things don't get talked about enough. Mostly what we see is the happy part of being post-op and not any of the possible complications and difficulties involved, and I can just imagine being depressed post-op when you've only seen happy post-op people and how miserable and invalidating that might feel. Knowing the posible complications allows people to be better prepared and more educated during the whole process, not to mention feel less alone if/when anything goes wrong.
I had a full on panic attack, the week following my top surgery, after getting home from the the reveal of my new chest. I’m still dealing with post surgery depression (surgery was on 7/27/2018).
Part of it is because it didn’t look like how I had always imagined it would look, I will also need a revision to correct a few things (It’s complicated). I also suffer from chronic depression, but it always gets worse after surgery.
I’m so glad you’re making these videos, as most ‘top surgery’ videos, don’t talk about post surgery depression. It is a fairly common side effect to surgery, but rarely talked about. It does reassure me knowing I’m not alone in this struggle. So thanks. 💕
I’m currently 4 days post op and this is just what I needed. thank you
I'd really like to hear more about how your dysphoria and dysmorphia interact if you're comfortable talking about that because at first, I thought that I thought I wasn't trans and that my body dysmorphia just made me think that I wasbut I've realised that someone can be both trans and have body dysmorphia so I'd really love to know how you distinguish between the two:) Thank you for this video as well, really helpful:)
I went through top surgery on June 25 and recovery over the past month or 2 with no friends and had to rely on family which was weird. I’m not asking for sympathy or anything, just your video helped make me feel more calm about the situation in general. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am 3 weeks post op and most of the things you said you felt about receiving help from someone post surgery reflected how I felt. Also help me organize my thoughts and feelings as well. Today I realized that what I was feeling may be a part of post op depression. I wish I could have had more than one person to take care of me as well, but unfortunately with covid it’s been really difficult to do so. But watching you made me feel so much less alone and felt validated. Thanks again.
I’m having surgery on the 4th so I couldn’t think of a better time to see this! Thanks man
Good luck! I wish you all the best
I love these videos where you talk about the overlap between being trans and other conditions/issues. I don't personally plan on doing any surgery, but it helps me being more understanding of others. Very educational as usual !
Big hugs from the UK my lovely. You take all the time you need. Forget vids to keep your subs happy. You do what you need to do and don't feel pressured to tell us all about it. Keep well and keep your mind happy. Love from a fellow depression sufferer. xxx
I love how clearly and precisely you explain things, it makes me really relaxed when I´m not bracing for something being said out of passing frustration but just listening to heavy topics talked about in a well thought out way
I'm so happy that you and Chase make these types of videos, I'm pre-op and pre-t and I want to get top surgery and be on testosterone one day, so I'm glad that you both make these videos so I can feel somewhat prepared, because there aren't a lot of videos like this. You and Chase are both huge inspirations for me, so thank you so much for inspiring me and many others throughout their transitions 🖤
Your mom sounds so precious 🥺🥺🥺❤
I'm a cis woman with eds and my daughter is getting tested for asd and your videos are literally the only thing that makes me smile some days. I'm so happy you exist and am so grateful that I'm able to watch you and hear about your life. Stay well (ok we have eds so who the fuck am I kidding!) and please be kind to yourself as you are worth that xx
man this video is literally the best! like i have never related to a video so hard in my life, i went through the exact same stuff during my surgery recovery and it feels so nice to know that im not alone in that
i’m 3 days post-op! i know this is an old video but just wanna say thank you for making this 💕💕💕
The most honest video to date from a younger FTM. Thank you so much. Needed to know bloating is not just me
thank you so much for this recourse, the way you shed light on this and the advice you give is great, feeling more confident in what is about to be with me after top op
Thank you for sharing this so much. I’m one day post op and I relate to a lot of the things you said about how you reacted to seeing ur chest and also feeling alone and stuff w ur mom. I’m very proud of you and thankful for you
Aaron, thank you very much for this series. i struggle with an ED, but it has gotten better this year, and i fully just need to know what to expect once i am post-op.
i relate to all of the feelings you explained, you talked about the fears i have for when i am post-op and i am thankful for that. i'm thankful that you're putting this information out because it's extremely helpful. it's terrible to go through but it's still important to know. much love!!! 💕🌿
This series has been really good dude. I appreciate all the insights into emotional states of everyone involved and the advice about what to talk about with caretakers/as a caretaker. Once my husband and I are closer to the reality of top surgery this is the first place I’m gonna come for prep notes! So much appreciation for the hard work ❣️
It's good to hear that it's ok if you don't have an immediate blissful reaction to top surgery. I'm a long ways off from getting it so I've been mentally preparing myself for it in the meantime. I don't have an ED but I have OCD with themes that center around the legitimacy of my transness, and I'm anticipating that the physical trauma of surgery + the anesthesia leading to a possible relapse. Sharing this was probably a big deal especially since most of the top surgery reactions you see online are full of joy, it doesn't seem like there's a lot of people sharing about their vulnerable moments (which makes sense I mean).
Man, this series is amazing! It's great to hear all this from the perspective of another spoonie. And the timing is amazing for me, because I just had my first consult and I'll probably have surgery in about 10 weeks, so I'm really preparing.
As an FTM who’s pre-op, I want to thank you for sharing your experiences and how you got through the tough times in your transitioning journey. This gives me lots of hope and makes me feel less alone. I hope all is well with you and your family ❤️
So real and so raw. Thank you for being so vulnerable.
Aaron, I’m so glad and thankful to you that you do these videos. You help me and many other ppl so much. Love and hugs to ya boo 💙🤗🌱
2 videos of yours in and 💚 I dig it. Soft low voice. Good advice. Honest. Can relate to a lot of what you say.
Thank you so much for sharing your insights and feelings in this video, Aaron! Informative and wonderful as always ❤
I just wanted to say that you're amazing. Also, your shirt reminded me that I had stargazer lily bulbs on my back porch that I needed to pack for my upcoming move back to Massachusetts from Florida.
Hi Aaron! Thank you so much for this series. So useful and informative! I'm having top surgery in 6 days so this helps so much! I can relate on the mom front too. Lots of love to you!
Thank you Aaron!! You really have some golden material here. It was such a great idea to do a top surgery 101 series, bravo dude!! 😊 These are some of the best, most well thought out top surgery videos I've seen. You are hitting on some really important things that aren't talked about much and you're doing it in a very clear, well communicated way. I can tell you've put a lot of thought into these and I'm grateful!!
I have my Dr appt to get my letter for top surgery Monday. And as I think more and more about the surgery, I am positive I want/need it but there are other obstacles that worry me, as someone who has had two surgeries in the last year, doesn't have the best physical health, and am ripe with mental/emotional disorders. I don't have a huge support system and I am freaked out A LOT by asking for help and being a burden on others.
Anyway, I am eternally grateful for your videos and you!
❤️💛💚💙💜
I just got my letter today! :D Excited to start T soon. gotta make a date with my endo!! Unfortunately it will be awhile before surgery but thankful your making this series so I can be mentally prepped. much love Aaron!
thank you for sharing
Thank you for sharing this. It's really helpful for me, cause i know now better how to prepare myself in terms of having a support system. And it makes me feel understood, and like i'm not weird for my fear in regard to trusting my mum with such things
Amazing information! Keep track of the videos, excited about looking at even more of those
im on my 5th day recovering from top surgery and im relating to everything you’re saying. you have no idea what a relief it is to know that other people are feeling this as well. i thought something was wrong and im not as happy as im supposed to be, it’s definitely bringing me back to the dark eating disorder days especially because i feel so bloated. thank you for posting this even if it was 3 years ago you really helped me out❤️
Wow I don’t really know you and you obviously don’t know me, but I’m proud of you for having went through that because that’s one tough situation especially with EDS and all the other stuff. So yeah that’s a powerful video. I was really scared because I’m going to have to get some stuff frozen from my body and it will be a small surgery and it really helped me to see your video.
Tanks
I can't believe what a long way you overcame to become yourself! I know how hard it is to get together all feelings, emotions and turn them into words... I'm so thankful for your explanations!
P.S: hello from Ukraine)
I love you for doing this video !! Thx Aaron
A great video Aaron thank you for your openness.
Just a video/ discussion idea. Talking about triggers and how warning people of these triggers have come about and the importance/effectiveness of such warnings in today's society.
Just would love your take on such a topic. Thanks 🙂
I have sarcoma, found a lump on my chest and breast bone... 2 surgery's and I have a 3 inch by 3inch scar... I've only been out of hospital for now 2 months. I can't even look at myself without being disgusted or just sad that not this is something I have to live with. I can't wear most of my old clothes because they show off the scar, bras are uncomfortable. When the doctors warned me about this I didn't take it seriously, I've dealt with depression for a long time so I thought this would be a piece of cake
I haven't struggled like this in a long time
Sorry for the long comment 😂 I don't have anyone to talk to about how I'm feeling sadly aha
hey dude sending So much love. thank you for sharing such vulnerable info. its very helpful man... going under surgery in a little under 2 weeks
Liquid diet two days prior and five days after is a huge help with the surgery constipation. I haven’t had top surgery but I have had a LOT of surgeries especially in the abdominal area.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! This was a really interesting video and was super informational.
This is a really old video, but I’d like to say thanks anyway! I appreciate you being realistic about possible outcomes.
I did enjoy it. Thank you so much ❤️ much love
Thank you for making those videos Aaron, it has been very helpful for my family and me, and for so many other trans folks as well. Have a wonderful day !
loved this video aaron! what a great series! I was just curious, since you mentioned it, are you ever going to post your top surgery reveal? I totally understand why you wouldn't want to I was just wondering.
thank you for this video. I got my top surgery in 2 days and it helped me a lot (I'm still freaking out tho).
take care we love you.
love from France !
Thank you for this series dear Aaron! Like I mentioned in the comments on the first video, I will be having at least two surgeries in the next year, and while none of them are gender-confirming, I still plan on showing all my caregivers all these videos because I think all of this was TOP DRAWER advice for recovery from any surgery. So I'll just say it one last time; thank you! 💕💝💕💝
An amazing video!
Do you have any video on how you dealt with the healing to avoid big scarring ? I’d love to hear about that!
Great series, much needed! ^^
Edit: just finished watching, looking forward to that video! Haha 😄
im lucky that my mum is already my paid carer and she has do drive for me because of seizures so i i am lucky this week and i get the go ahead for surgery (i have serious health issues that could stop me getting it as well as ptsd from hospitals, you can imagine how that is a problem) i know i will be taken care of properly
you have gone through so much, i look up to your perserverace
The book "30 Days to Reduce Depression" by Harper Daniels does a great job addressing depression.
New viewer here, love your videos they’re so informational!! Love your personality and also your cats n rats
oh man I get you so well that I think Ive got your attachment style
I’m happy of my top surgery I’m 2 days Post-Op but I had a complication, the swollen & black on my left side needs to die down in a few weeks. Both sides being really looking different was unexpected to me, plus my stomach it looks more big now. Basically I notice most is my side that had a complication and we can tell & also my stomach I’m 138lbs and look 250lbs with my face & body shape in my head
Thanks for this video I just got on the waitlist and I'm worried it will trigger my eating disorder
Love you Aaron
💜 thank you 💜
Watching this 3 weeks post op as I relapse into my eating disorder... your description of focusing on hips/thighs is completely accurate. Can't stop thinking about it and can't eat normally. When does it get better? :(
Thanks for sharing your experience. It's good to see everyone's experience because it is equally valid. The fact that you shared this, shows that it's normal to not feel okay after surgery. I will have top surgery in the near future. I have huge hips and stomach and am not on T so This is definitely a concern for me too! I have tried to imagine what I wi ll look like in the mirror and I know it's going to be weird for a while. I'm hoping to get body contouring covered by insurance. For me, I always identified as gender fluid, but menopause made me look more "womanly," and I really began to struggle with my self-image. So, I'm taking it one step at a time. I've decided not to get graphs because I won't have anyone to help me at home post-op. I appreciate the tips you gave about opening the tops of water bottles too!!
thank you!
In hindsight though. Maybe some people were assholes. Particularly those who had experienced top surgery and said they'd be there knowing what was required and still weren't. Though even if they hadn't known, they made a commitment and should have also researched it.
Your needing care was not unreasonable.
Lol can I just say I love the "SAD BOI" and frowny face in the thumbnail. Too iconic. I want that on a t-shirt please daddi 👌 EDIT: Also I love your shirt Aaron!!! I have A Kink for floral prints!!
Thank you, handsome! ✨🙏✨
Having a c-section also bloats your lower body and you have to take a stool softener, like Colace (awesome). It's just about doing major surgery on your body and get lots of chemicals being introduced and traumatizing part of your body....I was appalled at seeing it after the emergency c-section after 3 days of induced labor (when my little girl wasn't really ripe yet, so to speak...)...3 days of labor isn't much fun.
It's true no one usually will be there like a Mom will.
all of your videos are so informative!!!! thank you for everything you do! screw the transphobes, love you bebe
i got an ad !!!
I went through alot of that post op. Expecially the post op depression. But for me it was more of an anxiety becoming depression.
Like I get alot of medical anxiety. and feeling so concerned (is my chest ok, are my nips gunna fall off, and just other very anxious thoughts) I was so anxious i felt and still even 7 months post op feel depressed like i feel anxious cuz i needed this big scary surgery and risk of complications and pain, if i was cis I wouldnt have to go through this. Plus what didnt help my anxiety is actually going through a complication. i had a hematoma and needed an emergency 2nd surgery.
So it for me really triggered alot of trans struggles and the costs of being trans physically, mentally, socially and financially just to be who I am...
I also had alot of healing on my own... I dont have many friends. and my dad left me 1-2 months post op when i needed him still. to go get married...
That was so hard in itself
We’re you taking opioids for the pain? Cause opioids cause constipation.
at about 12:30 is that... the cat?
💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
I'm loving this series but idk if it's an issue but I got an ad for an audio bible. It didn't say anything about sexuality but thought I should let you know.
Sorry this is random but you look like Connor from Detroit: Become Human 😅
Not even close
Oh sweetheart
All young women are taught to feel DOOMED by being women. My mom was a Boomer mom, that is to say, she raised a family of four after having served as a secretary in WWII and marrying a sailor who had been in Pearl Harbor (and obviously survived), she had me 10 years after the first 3 kids. Then she became convinced I was some kind of experiment kid, which, the older I get, the more I tend to agree with her. My older siblings were Boomer hippies. My parents got divorced 2 years after I was born and the toxic results of a broken home and fatherlessness that I experienced in my childhood I am seeing happening in epidemic proportions. I'm going to do a whole channel on this shortly, but I have BidenApathy at the moment....check in a month for "A Victim of Circumstance" if I manage to accomplish it...