Kevin Costner & Andy Stumpf on Overcoming Divorce

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  • Опубликовано: 19 янв 2025

Комментарии • 475

  • @LK-bz9sk
    @LK-bz9sk 6 месяцев назад +203

    It took me years to realise it was the loss of the dream of the family that killed me, not the divorce from of a woman I grew to despise. Once I got that the healing accelerated. But still, a divorce with two young daughters was the greatest hit I have taken.

    • @digidrum2003
      @digidrum2003 6 месяцев назад +6

      Same here....I thought we would grow old together and be grandparents together....instead she moved in with a cop she work with and the cop dude doesn't want her around her grown daughters or any other family. It's been 1 year now. Good luck brother.

    • @ted2136
      @ted2136 6 месяцев назад +9

      Me too bro. It was the no family or different family life that gets me. 1 year on, see my kids 4days of 14. Making the most of it and battling on

    • @ted2136
      @ted2136 6 месяцев назад

      3:11

    • @marrop2760
      @marrop2760 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@digidrum2003 oops! sounds like a sociopath to me! or narc..

    • @digidrum2003
      @digidrum2003 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@marrop2760 You got it... a narc.

  • @Wh00says
    @Wh00says 7 месяцев назад +151

    Getting divorced, for me, felt like a party was going on and suddenly they wanted me to leave. Like, leave existing. Burnt a hole through me. Burns a hole through anyone that feels it.

    • @annebenn353
      @annebenn353 6 месяцев назад +1

      I had a party.🎉

    • @JohnJourdan88
      @JohnJourdan88 6 месяцев назад

      annebenn353
      Because vvomen literally cannot lose in this society.

    • @waingrobro
      @waingrobro 5 месяцев назад +2

      long term relationships feel the same way. Just because people didn't get their union "blessed by god" doesnt mean a divorce is the worst form of break up

    • @plasmaarmelund
      @plasmaarmelund 4 месяца назад

      Men are disposable in this society

  • @thomasobrien1213
    @thomasobrien1213 6 месяцев назад +71

    It's been 20 yrs. Since my divorce. Still destroyed financially and emotionally. It's absolutely not about her. It's about my kids. I hang in there for them. Otherwise, just paddling around aimlessly

  • @TheSakufighter
    @TheSakufighter 6 месяцев назад +74

    As someone who’s currently cut off from his daughter this touches home for me.

    • @walkertranger5746
      @walkertranger5746 6 месяцев назад +2

      I’m sorry you are experiencing that

    • @adammalay3842
      @adammalay3842 6 месяцев назад +2

      That must be extremely difficult. Hang in there. I’ll say a prayer for you.

    • @CCW0708
      @CCW0708 5 месяцев назад +2

      I can understand ur pain. I’m not seen my daughter for 4 years. It hurts me not to be able to see her.

    • @mfar3016
      @mfar3016 5 месяцев назад +2

      I’m so sorry. I’m on the other side of that, as I was a child victim of parental alienation. It cuts deep & the scars remain. Praying you can reunite in the future.

  • @petef.4361
    @petef.4361 5 месяцев назад +15

    My wife cheated on me with one of her co-workers, and while I am over her specifically, I am now in a spot 8 years later where I wonder if I will die alone. I am terrified of getting involved with anyone again, because I don't know if I can handle the pain again if it doesn't work out. I reached the lowest point in my life mentally when I went through my divorce, and I don't know how much more I can take if I had to go through that again. I feel for all the men (and women!!!) who were wronged by their spouse, and the only advice I can give, is to don't give up. Life is not always fair, but things get better and you need to do what makes YOU happy, don't worry about what other people think of you.

    • @mariemellard5949
      @mariemellard5949 3 месяца назад +1

      ❤Kevin tu es le meilleur en TOUT i love you Kevin un homme qui me plaît ❤️💕💘👍

  • @carolsampietro9873
    @carolsampietro9873 7 месяцев назад +48

    I am so glad he chose to be a story teller and actor. He has given great artistry to filmmaking. So authentic!

    • @chebrubin
      @chebrubin 6 месяцев назад

      Hitching your politics to Lizz Cheney is what killed him

  • @Dalpha64
    @Dalpha64 6 месяцев назад +82

    1 marriage is absolutely the rule, I will never marry again

  • @jonmueller2117
    @jonmueller2117 6 месяцев назад +68

    The only thing worse than death is betrayal. Married 35 years and one day she said she wasn't happy and that was it.

    • @Theresa-dg1rk
      @Theresa-dg1rk 6 месяцев назад +3

      I understand.
      I look at as a second chance to find real love and a blessing I didn't stay til death

    • @ThisHandleWasTheOnly1Available
      @ThisHandleWasTheOnly1Available 6 месяцев назад +7

      Yes, betrayal is the worst

    • @CA1567-v8p
      @CA1567-v8p 6 месяцев назад +9

      A women never divorced unless she has a backup plan

    • @eileenhetherington3704
      @eileenhetherington3704 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@jonmueller2117 That's life. People change. Sometimes a relationship runs it's course.

    • @eileenhetherington3704
      @eileenhetherington3704 6 месяцев назад

      @@CA1567-v8p Absolutely not true. I was looking after the kids while he was a Merchant Marine. Found out he was cheating every time he pulled into a different port. Gave me 2 STDs. A good friend bought me plane tickets from my husband's hometown in Minnesota back to Oklahoma. We had nothing. Dirt poor. No car, no job, no home. It took years to rebuild our lives, alone. And we did. Got an education and a good job. Kids had their grandparents, too.

  • @mralowen
    @mralowen 7 месяцев назад +71

    I've always really liked Kevin Costner, he seems down to earth to me

  • @DerekSeguin
    @DerekSeguin 6 месяцев назад +19

    It has taken me over a year and a half to get through the day my boys got back to their mom’s house without crying, and it still happens here and there. Easily my most painful experience.

  • @davidfleming4052
    @davidfleming4052 4 месяца назад +2

    I'm the only one of 26 first cousins being divorced. The shame, the shock. Then I met an old friend. And I had a second marriage...and had to fire her dad. She filed the next day. No doubts but oh the regrets and sadness. Thanks for this therapeutic encouragement. .

  • @MrFossilMetty
    @MrFossilMetty 6 месяцев назад +67

    Divorce fundamentally broke me as a human. Been 5 years, and it's only getting worse so far. And the financial burden of the support after the fact has all but put me into bankruptcy. Wouldn't wish this on anyone.

    • @davecom3
      @davecom3 6 месяцев назад +3

      Reading up on the teachings of stoicism helped me immensely. Start by being a friend to yourself.

    • @davecom3
      @davecom3 6 месяцев назад +3

      Read up on stoicism. It helped me immensely.

    • @MrFossilMetty
      @MrFossilMetty 6 месяцев назад +4

      @@davecom3 Thanks dude. Being easy on yourself is one of the hardest parts. lol. I appreciate the care and advice. Thank you

    • @elijahrector2168
      @elijahrector2168 6 месяцев назад +13

      You’re never alone.
      Mine filed for divorce today.
      Getting through one minute at a time

    • @Highlander1432
      @Highlander1432 6 месяцев назад +8

      Family court and the aftercosts bankrupt so many men.
      It destroys the hopes and dreams they had.
      Educate your sons about the realities of the family legal system

  • @barryedwardchadwick8162
    @barryedwardchadwick8162 6 месяцев назад +39

    I got home one night ,sat in my chair and when I looked up the devil was sitting there,he said why aren’t you afraid most people start crying or screaming,I said that may be true,but I was married to your sister for ten years ,now that’s frightening!

    • @davidfly254
      @davidfly254 6 месяцев назад +1

      😂😂❤😂🎉
      Thanks man, best laugh of this week!

    • @litotroxler211
      @litotroxler211 6 месяцев назад

      Thank you for that one!

    • @DorothyBakkers-j5u
      @DorothyBakkers-j5u 3 месяца назад +1

      I think to have gone through not only a bad divorce but to be betrayed by someone you called friend was a double edged sword. Kevin is a loving husband, dedicated father and great artist. He is also a loyal friend to anyone who needs a friend. You may not like every view point he discusses but his heart is in the right place every time.

    • @barryedwardchadwick8162
      @barryedwardchadwick8162 3 месяца назад

      @@DorothyBakkers-j5u know him ,do you?

  • @carlosmacmartin4205
    @carlosmacmartin4205 7 месяцев назад +95

    Been there and done the American Dream. Single is much better. Life goes on.

    • @OGLD
      @OGLD 6 месяцев назад +4

      No way is single better

    • @carlosmacmartin4205
      @carlosmacmartin4205 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@OGLD And why is that?

    • @OGLD
      @OGLD 6 месяцев назад +10

      @@carlosmacmartin4205 I’ve lived both. Being married to a great woman will make your life far better than being single

    • @carlosmacmartin4205
      @carlosmacmartin4205 6 месяцев назад +8

      @OGLD To each their own. I've made my life better without the aid of anyone else. It's possible some people need another person to make them feel complete, while others don't. 🤔 Me, I'm not lacking anything or needy. I feel great being alone. More at peace with myself and the universe. Yeah, perhaps I'll meet another woman someday, but in the meantime, I'm not in a rush or suffering from desire. Works for me.

    • @diegodesouza9697
      @diegodesouza9697 6 месяцев назад

      @@carlosmacmartin4205single is way better, but once you have a kid with a woman you will try everything to not brake the marriage because the kids.
      That’s the issue that the majority of man have. Sometimes I think I should just do like it was done hundreds os years ago, but for some reason I can’t just leave my son and go for another live with out him.

  • @Christinekueblerartist
    @Christinekueblerartist 6 месяцев назад +64

    My x and his affairs literally obliterated my finances and my career. I had to leave my job because he was involved with a coworker of mine and she refused to leave. I had my kids and a teaching career. We lived on next to nothing for years. My job was never the same after having to leave my beloved school. 12 years later I’m through it, with a new partner and still working through the job stuff. I carried the heaviest pain in my body for years after that. I made it out, but I had to claw my way out.
    Be good to each other folks. ❤

    • @HendersonHinchfinch
      @HendersonHinchfinch 6 месяцев назад +3

      You didn’t have to leave your job, you decided to. Your X didn’t literally obliterate your finances and career, you did. He definitely made it hard for you though.

    • @mattggonzz
      @mattggonzz 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@HendersonHinchfinchone of the most ignorant responses I’ve ever read. It’s the hate in you that makes it hard to love and support each other.

    • @mattggonzz
      @mattggonzz 6 месяцев назад +1

      I’m glad you clawed your way out. The path we choose isn’t always right or the easy one. It’s the destination that matters. I hope we all get there.

    • @HendersonHinchfinch
      @HendersonHinchfinch 6 месяцев назад

      @@mattggonzz No ignorance. Everything I stated was factual.

    • @mattggonzz
      @mattggonzz 6 месяцев назад

      @@HendersonHinchfinch You must be the C U next Tuesday that worked at the school.

  • @sniper161718
    @sniper161718 5 месяцев назад +4

    Going through a divorce for me was far and away the hardest time of my life. That said meeting my current wife makes me so grateful I got through that divorce.

  • @tomcarpenter2421
    @tomcarpenter2421 6 месяцев назад +7

    The answer to get over a divorce or separation is not to find someone else but to be happy with yourself.

  • @BuckRolly1
    @BuckRolly1 7 месяцев назад +295

    The sepraration from the woman in a divorce is the easy part - there are plenty of women out there, after all - it's the serparation from your kids and the fact that you go from seeing them every day to seeing them on a set schedule. That's what rips your guts and your heart out

    • @MrJayehawk
      @MrJayehawk 7 месяцев назад +28

      Fully agree. A decade into something I don't want to still be in because I refuse to leave my children. It's not the right choice for everyone, but it's the only choice for me.

    • @kingdong640
      @kingdong640 6 месяцев назад +3

      I got a flat tire in the rain once and although it's not as bad as some of the other stuff on here it was tough. Not something I'd wish for anyone.

    • @annebenn353
      @annebenn353 6 месяцев назад +13

      Good luck I think the worst thing for Kevin was the shock when he returned after filming to find his wife having an affair with his tenant and friend. Friend being the worst to accept.

    • @jensejense
      @jensejense 6 месяцев назад +1

      I are to much because the food was so good.

    • @LK-bz9sk
      @LK-bz9sk 6 месяцев назад +24

      You’re exactly right. The death of the dream of the family is the real pain. Not the divorce from a woman it didnt work out with. To come home to a silent home, no longer two young daughters running into my arms “daddy daddy daddy” if I let it in, still kills me 28 years later.

  • @onesilentarrow
    @onesilentarrow 5 месяцев назад +2

    Choked me up watching this. Going thru it now with three young kids. It’s a strange paradox to wish I never met her but realize that means I would’ve have my kids. I love them so much. Loving from a shattered and broken heart is painful.

  • @mikeorlick7233
    @mikeorlick7233 5 месяцев назад +9

    I lost fifty pounds and discovered what anxiety and depression were during my divorce. Thought I was gonna be alone forever too and like Andy, met an incredible woman. Married ten years now happily. But that divorce from my ex nearly killed me...

    • @whata86
      @whata86 3 месяца назад

      How did you get through it . I’m suffering tremendously and don’t have anyone to talk to. My engagement was called off and she started talking to / slept with another man a few weeks after being together four years .

    • @mikeorlick7233
      @mikeorlick7233 3 месяца назад +2

      @@whata86 I got through it poorly, to be honest. I highly recommend talking to a professional that can at least help you understand the stages of grief you're going through and I highly suggest you stay away from alcohol. Double down on getting healthy physically and mentally yourself, especially if you have kids so you can be useful as a parent to them. You're probably not hungry ever but make sure you force yourself to eat so you have energy to force yourself out of bed... And some days you might literally have to force yourself. Good luck man, it sucks for sure but you CAN get through it.

    • @whata86
      @whata86 3 месяца назад

      @@mikeorlick7233 thank you. I’m glad you got through it

  • @ThisHandleWasTheOnly1Available
    @ThisHandleWasTheOnly1Available 6 месяцев назад +12

    I got divorced a year ago. I have two young kids. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through. Felt like getting run over by a dump truck. Whant Andy is talking about at 2:42 is exactly how it felt.

    • @gabrielkarehana1080
      @gabrielkarehana1080 5 месяцев назад

      she left me and the kids abruptly no foul play or abuse on my end had me confused.she moved citys and i was suspicous after nightmares and dreams she was cheating i decided too check tinder and there she was advertising herself too the masses previously telling me she needs time and to be patient seeing her profile pic broke me when confronted she denied it until i showed her screenshots.i feel like death i held down the fort and our kids so she could find tinder love
      he

  • @DoctorHemi
    @DoctorHemi 6 месяцев назад +8

    The loss of my nuclear family was devastating to me. My ex-wife and I are still very cordial, and we shared custody of our two kids (they're 20 and 22 now) with no issues...all is well on that front, but it's still devastating: I don't think I'll ever get over not having a "real family", and I have no interest in a "blended" family.

    • @robsmith8933
      @robsmith8933 6 месяцев назад +1

      I feel for you man. Been through a painful divorce. Thank God we didn’t have children together. It would have ruined my life.

    • @DoctorHemi
      @DoctorHemi 6 месяцев назад

      @@robsmith8933, thanks, and I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. Kids or not, it's still one of the worst things to have to endure. Good luck, man.

    • @TopJ809
      @TopJ809 5 месяцев назад +1

      Very well said.

  • @personne7542
    @personne7542 5 месяцев назад +9

    No marriage. No kids. Im good.

  • @RabbiCashMoney
    @RabbiCashMoney 6 месяцев назад +28

    The key to a successful divorce is an excellent prenuptial agreement. Costner's 2nd wife, whom he most recently divorced, did not do the calculus on the cost/benefit analysis of filing for divorce as she received far less than she anticipated and was overtly engaging in an extramarital affair with a friend of Costner who was also a tenant on Costner's estate. His prenuptial agreement protected him.

    • @scopeway
      @scopeway 6 месяцев назад +4

      James Sexton (many of his interviews are on RUclips) advocates strongly for that very thing.

    • @js53168
      @js53168 5 месяцев назад

      Prenups get thrown out all the time for a variety of reasons.

    • @RabbiCashMoney
      @RabbiCashMoney 5 месяцев назад +3

      @@js53168 No, they don't. That's delusional fallacy of those who: 1. Have no idea WTF they're talking about; 2. Don't understand the legal requirements and framework of a successful prenuptial agreement and it's strict legal requirements; 3. Couldn't afford a qualified attorney to draft one; 4. Have never seen a prenuptial agreement. Run along, adults are talking.

  • @cuttheknot4781
    @cuttheknot4781 7 месяцев назад +18

    Two class acts right there. Kevin Costner is one of my 5 favorite actors. The first movie I saw with Costner was American Flyers, a very touching movie about triumph, family, and loss. If you have not watched it - do so.

    • @laurajoy8164
      @laurajoy8164 6 месяцев назад

      Great movie also one of my favorites

    • @pando4000
      @pando4000 6 месяцев назад

      Love American Flyers

  • @62LSXNova
    @62LSXNova 7 месяцев назад +29

    definatly agree about the divorce. Its hard. Alot of pain after 26 years with her.

    • @michael7v6
      @michael7v6 7 месяцев назад +7

      I’m dealing with it now. 22 years. She is 1/2 moved out as of today. Sucks.

    • @62LSXNova
      @62LSXNova 7 месяцев назад +8

      @@michael7v6 I’m sorry man. Stay strong. It gets better over time. I know it doesn’t sound like it or feel like it right now but it will. I been there. Almost 4 years for me now. Met someone new and living life again. It will get better

  • @browmi03
    @browmi03 5 месяцев назад +1

    I remember when my mom died and my friend said it really hits home when both parents died. My dad died and I was going to therapy because it wasn't good circumstances. That was pretty painful, but the greatest pain so far was going through a divorce when probate wasn't even closed yet.
    The best words of encouragement I got were that I would be ok. It got so crazy I was about 2 months from being homeless while still making 6 figures. No kids still cost me 400k. You really find out who your real friends are in these times.
    I agree with the kid thing. I never had kids because she left a few other times and didn't want to raise them in that environment.

  • @vitamind2387
    @vitamind2387 5 месяцев назад +2

    I got divorced last summer and I was blindsided by it, we had our issues but I swore an oath to her, I was never going to turn my back on her. I have never felt that level of betrayal and I felt like my life was over and all my friends said it would get better. It’s been a year and they were right, it does get better. You just have to weather the storm, focus on yourself and keep grinding. Easier said than done but if you feel like everything is over for you, just keep going. Don’t stop

  • @christors
    @christors 6 месяцев назад +7

    Strong people always have a strong story, thanks for sharing-

  • @TheStuport
    @TheStuport 7 месяцев назад +36

    I said my Vows and whole heartedly believed "till death do us part". Once was enough. "She" on the other hand is on her third go around. I shake my head at seeing or reading about people who have multiple marriages as in 5 or 6 or more. They marry like they are eating a bag of Skittles! NEVER do I want to feel that mental hurt again. I have dated since then and even lived with a couple of Ladies but unlike Ric Flair, I shall NEVER Walk That Aisle Again WOOOOO! And the best part is my Kids are my biggest supporters! Stay Strong and Keep Strutting! 👋

    • @TheMusicmak3r
      @TheMusicmak3r 5 месяцев назад +1

      WOOOO!

    • @TheStuport
      @TheStuport 5 месяцев назад +1

      @@TheMusicmak3r 🤣 WOOOOOOOO Bruddah👋

  • @jeffilli1663
    @jeffilli1663 6 месяцев назад +5

    Going through it now. Miss my kids so much!

  • @francesalmanza5747
    @francesalmanza5747 6 месяцев назад +12

    Wow amazing… that is actually why I remain single! “I don’t think I can take more pain.” Been divorced since 2018…time passing and with the idea that I will remain alone…

    • @joendrsn
      @joendrsn 6 месяцев назад

      um its generally women that initiate divorce. you should be able to find yourself a good man - and your risk of divorce would be about 0 % unless you stir up a mess

    • @private-private
      @private-private 6 месяцев назад +1

      But you dont have to be alone, you can date, you can be in a relationship, just dont marry the government and dont live with them. Women can be great, relationships can be a ton of fun but we all keep signing the contract with the government. Enjoy all the company of women, just dont sign contracts and dont co habitate. No excuses. Why do you think it has to be alone or married and they are your only options.

    • @francesalmanza5747
      @francesalmanza5747 6 месяцев назад

      @@private-private lol I am a woman lol i think you meant I should date men lol thanks for your comment 😊 it made me chuckle 🤭

    • @private-private
      @private-private 6 месяцев назад

      @@francesalmanza5747 Exactly right too! Same rules for women regarding men. If you have your own home and life just date men, enjoy them because we are great. We love to be with you, love your company, dinner dates, movies, a little travel and love to have your clothes on our bedroom floor... LOVE IT ... but dont live with us and dont sign any contracts with us. I always think when we are all free to walk away and feel free to walk away but happy.... why would any of us walk away? A bit of an over simplification but you get the idea. And when you are not tied to the hip of a man physically or emotionally you really cant be too hurt right? I think most men and women are great, its the contracts that destroy us, its feel trapped that destroys us. Freedom, peace and a contented mind are the most valuable things in the world but when young people have them they give them up for a pipe dream sold to them by government. WHY????? 🙂 Thanks for commenting back. Is your name actually frances. I named by boat Frances. Its a lovely feminine name.

    • @CA1567-v8p
      @CA1567-v8p 6 месяцев назад

      ​@@francesalmanza5747you go on alot of dates?

  • @HCP-ux9ej
    @HCP-ux9ej 6 месяцев назад +32

    The pain doesn't go away even when you move on with someone new and great.

    • @MrRatclima
      @MrRatclima 6 месяцев назад +1

      I've always wondered that. My parents got divorced when I was 9 and now I'm older, I'm curious as to how it may have affected my Dad.

    • @dimebagvinnie644
      @dimebagvinnie644 6 месяцев назад

      Sorry yo , I'm about to get divorced

    • @HCP-ux9ej
      @HCP-ux9ej 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@dimebagvinnie644 sorry to hear 😞

    • @danielsedgebeer598
      @danielsedgebeer598 6 месяцев назад +1

      Haven’t even thought about someone new because of the fact I feel it would be impossible not to project the pain and darkness into their life. Divorce is the worst thing I have ever experienced.

    • @jdawg3629
      @jdawg3629 5 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@dimebagvinnie644Dime and Vinnie will always be with you, through the ups and downs. They will never be replicated. RIP bros

  • @cheribee968
    @cheribee968 6 месяцев назад +8

    Hurts the kids most of all
    Sometimes you don’t get over it.

  • @nohandlesavailable677
    @nohandlesavailable677 6 месяцев назад +10

    I never really have wanted marriage, but the countless stories I've heard how bad divorce wrecks your life, I damn sure don't want it now.

    • @nweeezy
      @nweeezy 6 месяцев назад

      like EVER

    • @dsoccer241
      @dsoccer241 5 месяцев назад

      Marriage is a wonderful thing if you find the right lady for you but it ain’t easy

    • @Erick-di9gm
      @Erick-di9gm 5 месяцев назад +4

      Everyone thinks they have the right one in the beginning!

    • @WTHenry2023
      @WTHenry2023 5 месяцев назад +1

      You never really know your wife until you meet her in divorce court....

  • @bisonradio5847
    @bisonradio5847 6 месяцев назад +1

    I agree with both of you! I’m going through the second one now. (I felt a real affinity with Kevin. I’m just north of Oklahoma, in Hesston Kansas. And my late brother was 5 years older than me. And I was a dreamer as a boy as well. I enjoyed hearing him talk.)

    • @private-private
      @private-private 6 месяцев назад

      The SECOND one? With respect then and man to man? Quit moaning about it because you did it! TWICE !!

    • @bisonradio5847
      @bisonradio5847 5 месяцев назад

      @@private-private “moaning”?

  • @mmsk2010
    @mmsk2010 6 месяцев назад +4

    Neither Kevin Kostner nor any of us decide on our fate. For one. fate doesn't exist. To say it does, rids one of free will. Two. We don't live in a vacuum, untouched by the world around us. We are like billiard balls, careening off one another. Someone might bounce you in one direction, you bounce them in another.

  • @BrockLanders
    @BrockLanders 6 месяцев назад +24

    As a man who’s been married and divorced, I’m not sure why any man would sign up for a second, third, fourth marriage. Nothing wrong with long term dating or relationships without having the burden of the legal hassles and unnecessary drama that goes along with a divorce.

    • @MrScottskiuk
      @MrScottskiuk 6 месяцев назад +6

      I totally disagree. I've been divorced, and had two serious relationships since. Neither worked out, in part because I was so fearful of what might happen if it went wrong. I regret that entirely. Marriage is a statement of commitment. I would give up all my financial success for a happy family.

    • @daryl9799
      @daryl9799 6 месяцев назад

      ​@MrScottskiuk Why do you need a piece a paper for your commitment? You can have a commitment in a long term relationship with two mature adult and if thing go sour you can walk away making it easier for both parties. The piece of paper is a man made trap just to follow the heard it's all in your mind but hey if you think lawyers and the government are on your side go for it.

    • @adambritain5774
      @adambritain5774 6 месяцев назад +2

      Been married once. And divorced five years later. Won’t be doing it again.

    • @seanl904
      @seanl904 6 месяцев назад +1

      Spoken by a guy with probably not a lot of money.

    • @private-private
      @private-private 6 месяцев назад +3

      @@MrScottskiuk More power to you then, but dont whine when it all turns to shit. I think Brocklanders is 100% right but as men we have the right to make any decisions we want. But if you enlist you march Marriage is NOT a statement of commitment, you have been drinking the coolaid. Marriage is no commitment due to no fault divorce. What marriage is is a pension plan for your wife in most cases ( not all) and she gets the pension when she stays with you or not. If you had two serious relationships then they did work out, they just did not work forever but so what? They were nice relationships so go have some more. Im sorry but it's your thinking thats skewed, just because it'd does not last forever does not mean it did not work. If your wife died after 10 years would you consider your marriage a failure? or say it did not work out? No!!

  • @mirrorglassgames
    @mirrorglassgames 5 месяцев назад +5

    AT 32 years old, I am so glad I never married or had children. You can go on and on about "passing down your legacy" or this and that, but when I see guys my age that are super overweight and looks like their souls left their bodies, I don't care what I missed out on. It's not a cope, men just love way harder than women do. Else men would be the ones walking out on women saying "they aren't happy." It doesn't matter how rich you are, how good looking you are or how much you've built, it's all about how they feel. And unfortunately, feelings are a fleeting thing. You can't expect a guy to maintain someone else's feelings for 35+ years without a single slipup. Marriage is for the fool that buys the car, when he was already being handed the keys to it every single day.

    • @a-t5380
      @a-t5380 5 месяцев назад +2

      That last quote is incredible… “marriage is for the fool that buys the car when he was already getting handed the keys to it every day”

    • @stevenalbrechcinski8979
      @stevenalbrechcinski8979 5 месяцев назад

      @@a-t5380 What about the original quote: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"? And there are some prize heifers out there!

    • @a-t5380
      @a-t5380 5 месяцев назад

      @@stevenalbrechcinski8979 I’ve used it countless times

  • @jonnyo8163
    @jonnyo8163 5 месяцев назад

    I’m separated 2 years and divorced with 2 young kids. I haven’t had an easy life and that was by far the hardest experience I’ve ever gone through. Still not out of the woods and questioned whether I should be here on many occasion. But those thoughts are fading. My kids are happy which I have to remember, and I’m learning to heal and live a different life now. As the saying goes ‘if you’re going through hell, keep going’
    Don’t ever give up!

  • @DorinaRotar-dd9nh
    @DorinaRotar-dd9nh 6 месяцев назад +4

    Kevin you are a wonderful person
    I wish you all the best
    Life must go on.
    So good luck my dear Kevin.
    Don't give up.
    Life is wonderful and offer us so manny surprises.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • @JosephSchuett
    @JosephSchuett 6 месяцев назад +9

    Someone once told me: a man will sacrifice his happiness for his family. A woman will sacrifice her family for her happiness.

    • @charlesterrizzi8311
      @charlesterrizzi8311 6 месяцев назад +4

      That’s a really messed up way to think. People that think this way set themselves up for disaster.

    • @user-bt3fo3og4z
      @user-bt3fo3og4z 6 месяцев назад +1

      It’s true .

    • @eileenhetherington3704
      @eileenhetherington3704 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@JosephSchuett Total BS. It's normally the other way around. I lived it, so did numerous friends. You marry and the kids start coming. Next thing he is stopping for a drink after work with the bros, even though you both work. Then the "weekend business trips". Someone else's perfume on his clothes. Then the creeping contempt. Somehow he is devastated when you want a divorce.

    • @scottverge938
      @scottverge938 6 месяцев назад

      @@eileenhetherington3704 No divorce that I know of personally was due to the man cheating. Always the women cheating or losing feelings for her husband. Women end the majority of relationships and the majority of men can't cheat. They have a hard enough time finding one woman that's into them.

  • @DrGordonS
    @DrGordonS 5 месяцев назад

    Absolutely same answer. Betrayal is horrific.

  • @kopsie6379
    @kopsie6379 7 месяцев назад +18

    "There's nothing wrong with Love" ❤

    • @pfc4156
      @pfc4156 6 месяцев назад

      Apart from love for your children, is there love?

    • @JamieAug
      @JamieAug 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@pfc4156 yes, there's love for and beyond your children. I know because I've felt ; however, there's no guarantee the other person will feel the same, or if they do initially, that they will always feel the same way. Marriage is not a guarantee, but culturally we have a hard time wrapping our minds around this harsh reality.

  • @TennGrizz
    @TennGrizz 7 месяцев назад +3

    Open range is one of my favorites, Semper Fidelis Bible and ⚔️ from a fellow Okie.

  • @JohnGalt99999
    @JohnGalt99999 6 месяцев назад +2

    POWERFUL interview. ACCURATE interview. Divorce with children is a soul-destroying journey to hell. AND? Completely unnecessary most of the time.

  • @A91367
    @A91367 6 месяцев назад +4

    woulda been cool to hear Kevin’s thoughts on his divorce

    • @ThisHandleWasTheOnly1Available
      @ThisHandleWasTheOnly1Available 6 месяцев назад +1

      Not having heard Kevin's thoughts, I still know exactly what they are. I'm sure Andy does too.

    •  6 месяцев назад

      Andy. Be quiet. Let your guest tell his story.

    • @A91367
      @A91367 6 месяцев назад

      👍

  • @abelovedflame
    @abelovedflame 5 месяцев назад

    I got intimately familiar with pain in the years after my divorce. It fundamentally changed me forever. Proceed with extreme caution if you plan to marry and have kids.

  • @ellamarie9709
    @ellamarie9709 6 месяцев назад +22

    Divorcing my husband was the worst pain I’ve ever been through emotionally speaking. It completely changed the trajectory of my life. That was 30 years ago and it still remains the most painful time in my life. I didn’t marry to divorce. Thankfully, I met and married a wonderful man 28 years ago. I feel blessed. ❤

    • @mprkg
      @mprkg 6 месяцев назад +12

      Give me a break. You divorced and like immediately remarried.

    • @73cidalia
      @73cidalia 6 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@mprkg Two years later is "immediately"? Don't judge. We don't know what came before and how many years of it before the divorce was official.

    • @curlew-3592
      @curlew-3592 6 месяцев назад +2

      🤔😂😂😂

    • @torreyintahoe
      @torreyintahoe 6 месяцев назад

      @@mprkg Two years isn't immediately.

    • @JohnJourdan88
      @JohnJourdan88 6 месяцев назад

      Oh poor you

  • @kyle6209
    @kyle6209 7 месяцев назад +13

    What a solid guest! Andy’s neck keeps getting bigger

  • @JaredReall
    @JaredReall 5 месяцев назад

    Worst thing I’ve ever been forced to go through and i lost my fiancé to a drunk driver when i was 25. 41 now and divorced with a son. Just an awful thing to go through. Awful..

  • @Bubbagump871
    @Bubbagump871 5 месяцев назад

    Divorced 16 years ago with 2 young kids. Never recovered emotionally. Stopped dating 10 years ago. Couldn't find any hope of having a normal life.

  • @chihuahuancamel
    @chihuahuancamel 7 месяцев назад +12

    Just a couple stand up fellas talkin about being men and how tough it is to be themselves

    • @joendrsn
      @joendrsn 6 месяцев назад

      thats right. whats it like being you?

  • @kesstron1
    @kesstron1 5 месяцев назад

    Link to full interview?

  • @silverstar4289
    @silverstar4289 6 месяцев назад +4

    I am married 34 years. Both of us on first marriage. We were thirty when we wed. Likely made the difference.

  • @sbfhawk4343
    @sbfhawk4343 6 месяцев назад +4

    I was married for 5 years and then was divorced with 1 kid. It wasnt hard that marriage was very toxic..I still made investments and made profits..Then I married again. Lasted 14 years and two children ...Sold the investments and made money and then divorced again again not regretful. It was a part of the Journey I am still holding high and doing what I want to really do..Everything is a risk..

  • @DPMusicStudio
    @DPMusicStudio 6 месяцев назад +9

    Finalizing a divorce now from a woman who I never in a million years thought I would ever be separated from.
    Mental illness took her away from me, then she turned on me after 15 years (we married in our early 20's), turned on our son, and I spent about six months gathering evidence of her treatment of him.
    Turned it over to the court. They interviewed me, him, her.
    After the investigation, the court appointed investigator turned in her report. They gave her the minimum amount of time with him possible under state law. I have the maximum.
    He's safe. That's all I care about.
    And - I live in a state with no alimony.
    My story has not been as awful as some, and for that I'm thankful.... but even this has been unbelievably difficult.

  • @kevinwhelan9607
    @kevinwhelan9607 6 месяцев назад

    Andy, thanks for liking my poem- how about passing it on to Kevin Costner? The man, like any other star, always had skin in the game; he had to start at the bottom and work his way up. When he quit his marketing job, he and a few other young actors and writers used to "train' in a disused CHEMICAL factory. But that's what serious people do. Apparently, at an early audition a female casting agent told him they wanted someone "handsome" for the role. What was he- Shrek? The director Adrian Lyne was very kind to him, getting Costner the "lead" in an Apple computer ad in 1983. Apparently, he showed up looking like, in Costner's words, "a bum". He told Lyne "he'd rather go fishing". Lyne reminded him that the gig was worth twenty-grand- serious money forty-plus years ago- and delayed the shoot for a day, then shot it.--Kevin Whelan (and yes, I really am a "Kevin"!).

  • @gilbeggergilbegger5819
    @gilbeggergilbegger5819 5 месяцев назад

    amen brother...amen

  • @scukeguy
    @scukeguy 6 месяцев назад +22

    I think divorce is worse than death. Just brutal

    • @henrycooper4213
      @henrycooper4213 6 месяцев назад +1

      You need perspective if you honestly believe that. You live in a safety paddy fairy land. You have no idea about suffering or what it truly means to live.

    • @WTHenry2023
      @WTHenry2023 5 месяцев назад

      @scukeguy Yes, divorce, especially with Western legal systems, will wreck a man both emotionally and financially. It is well known by psychologists that the pain (and conflict) from losing a spouse through divorce is greater than losing a spouse through death. Keep on keeping on brother and don't give up!

  • @victortodoran1828
    @victortodoran1828 6 месяцев назад +2

    I did not know the Duttons lived in Compton at some point

  • @paolah1828
    @paolah1828 5 месяцев назад +1

    Divorce is painful because it is not natural. Once legal fists get involved, your children, your finances, your sense of reality is broken. Divorce alone should be illegal. (Not saying not to separate) I’m saying the legal process of divorce exacerbates the pain. Lawyers know it is a shit system and a shit process that tears people apart

    • @WTHenry2023
      @WTHenry2023 5 месяцев назад

      Lawyers greatly benefit from the current system. That is why it exists.

  • @mariemellard5949
    @mariemellard5949 4 месяца назад +1

    Kevin ont t'aiment 💘❤️

  • @LynnWright-cv5wf
    @LynnWright-cv5wf 6 месяцев назад +2

    I am not a Kevin Costner fan even though I love his movies dances with wolves been my favourite. I will be the same age next month as Mr Costner and I truly hope in time he will find true happiness again. I am sure all his children will always be there for him like he has for them . Really admire your work. Wishing you all the best. Lynn from york in Yorkshire. England.

    • @Lousmash
      @Lousmash 6 месяцев назад +1

      So you love his movies, but dislike him as a person, or?

  • @cptpepper7731
    @cptpepper7731 7 месяцев назад +34

    Especially when the ex cleans out your bank account.

    • @ericwilliams626
      @ericwilliams626 6 месяцев назад +10

      Men are sometimes in love, women are always in business.

    • @DD-xw6uw
      @DD-xw6uw 6 месяцев назад +5

      The worse part is that in most relationships the man would’ve made that money regardless of whoever he was with. The woman had no impact, but she gets half as if she was half the reason the man got the wealth in the first place.

    • @jamesmiller5272
      @jamesmiller5272 6 месяцев назад

      What happened to me also

    • @debrad6599
      @debrad6599 6 месяцев назад +1

      0:07 When you have their children and raise them while the husband is away working, you are entitled to half of everything - It's the law!

  • @kevinlibby681
    @kevinlibby681 5 месяцев назад

    Going through it now

  • @darrensmith9407
    @darrensmith9407 6 месяцев назад

    Yes divorce is no walk in the park that's for sure but my ex wife and i realised that we both had to work extra hard to shield the kids from any emotional divorce pain on the kids...now the kids are in their 20s with good jobs and in good relationships and my ex wife and i get along better than ever!!
    I should write a book but i have no idea what i did to get this result...????

  • @rangerwhite5165
    @rangerwhite5165 5 месяцев назад +1

    It's the worst thing you'll ever go through, bar something happening to one of your kids.

  • @ladylilymae5589
    @ladylilymae5589 6 месяцев назад +1

    I say this with love which is the most precious gift life has for us. Things happen for a reason, in time he will understand why... .

    • @Erick-di9gm
      @Erick-di9gm 5 месяцев назад

      Good May come out of it but didn't need to happen.

    • @ladylilymae5589
      @ladylilymae5589 5 месяцев назад

      @@Erick-di9gm I don t know the ins and outs but perhaps it needed to happen for her....maybe she felt deeply lonely because the man she loved was away working all the time.

  • @KathrynAntrim
    @KathrynAntrim 7 месяцев назад +12

    Divorce is so bad. Ilost my oldest son to a drug overdose 6 years ago took a peice of my soul. Your not supposed to bury your children

    • @digidrum2003
      @digidrum2003 6 месяцев назад +1

      Similar situation....my wife left me for a coworker of hers and took our 16 year old son with her.....he passed away shortly after moving with her. I will never recover from his passing. Take care and I'm sorry for your loss.

    • @KathrynAntrim
      @KathrynAntrim 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@digidrum2003 I'm so sorry for your loss. People say it will get easier as time goes on but it doesn't will keep you in prayer.

    • @digidrum2003
      @digidrum2003 6 месяцев назад

      @@KathrynAntrim Thank you for your words.

  • @RidleyHolmes-sr2tw
    @RidleyHolmes-sr2tw 7 месяцев назад +2

    When are we going to see a Navy SEAL podcast about Italian cooking?

  • @gerardo9052
    @gerardo9052 6 месяцев назад

    Where's rollo?

  • @SAR0311
    @SAR0311 5 месяцев назад

    Loved her loved being married and wanted to keep being married. Divorced at 31 everything was ripped out and at 43 still has not healed.

  • @somenuttysquirrel
    @somenuttysquirrel 6 месяцев назад +5

    Can't get divorced if you don't get married.

    • @nweeezy
      @nweeezy 6 месяцев назад +1

      bingo

  • @JohnRhodes-lv3rg
    @JohnRhodes-lv3rg 6 месяцев назад +3

    I had to watch my ex let her boyfriend hurt our kids for years. She would lie to protect him and to detectives.

  • @miwe3719
    @miwe3719 6 месяцев назад +4

    Count yourself lucky if dicorcw is the worse thing you've gone through

  • @philippians.4.8
    @philippians.4.8 6 месяцев назад +1

    There is nothing wrong with love, thank you for that. 🕊

  • @douglashagan2795
    @douglashagan2795 6 месяцев назад

    Great western

  • @kungfooslap2983
    @kungfooslap2983 5 месяцев назад

    It was the hardest 15 minutes of my life after my divorce but then the elation overwhelmed me and now the only problem is I get everywhere early…..it’s because I skip…..I skip everywhere I go.

  • @albadelpilaracunatrujillo3506
    @albadelpilaracunatrujillo3506 7 месяцев назад +4

    My divorce was difficult but all have solutions and try to be positive ❤❤❤❤

  • @WilliamGibble
    @WilliamGibble 5 месяцев назад

    Its sucks.. I never get to see my daughters.. it hurts.. Kevin Costner Put the work in 😊

  • @Theresa-dg1rk
    @Theresa-dg1rk 6 месяцев назад

    Can u check on him?
    I think he may be having a hard time.❤

  • @MariaTavernese
    @MariaTavernese 7 месяцев назад +2

    ❤❤❤❤❤ Kevin ❤❤❤❤❤.Ti auguro il meglio ❤❤❤❤

  • @SquidGunman
    @SquidGunman 7 месяцев назад +14

    An Oscar worthy performance here.

    • @janefromtennessee
      @janefromtennessee 6 месяцев назад +1

      He is real!

    • @SquidGunman
      @SquidGunman 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@janefromtennessee He forgot to mention the part where he caused the divorce by cheating on his wife with numerous bitches.

    • @CA1567-v8p
      @CA1567-v8p 6 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@janefromtennesseehe plays make believe he's crazy 🤣

    • @janefromtennessee
      @janefromtennessee 6 месяцев назад

      @@CA1567-v8p. Could be. Yes! Think he’s a kind soul??

    • @janefromtennessee
      @janefromtennessee 6 месяцев назад

      I don’t like him using the “F” word like he does!!

  • @olabashanda
    @olabashanda 5 месяцев назад +1

    God hates divorce....and a significant part of that is the damage is does to the human hearts of everyone surrounding it.

  • @DrcReeves
    @DrcReeves 4 месяца назад

    LOL>>>He too learned to have self-confidence...this is what makes him win in life.
    I considered divorce when son was younger...seeing it now at my age, wow! They would had stolen my boy.
    However, my son saw a hard working father...we chased him with his son but he didn't perceive to accept our situation. He never participated in fathering even though, I tried to give him multiple opportunities.
    My Ex-Spouse used my circumstances and lost me because he thought he could take advantage...now, I watch this interview trying to understand the situations we both face. I noticed he planned his 2nd marriage so he wouldn't leave those kids without a father but his fear from the first, set him up in a same controversy. We all learn...I met him on-line only, chose to stay out of his way but his wife divorced him. And, I believe he is still interested. So I do not know what is going to happen....I didn't want to take away anybody's dad. I have a son of my own who is grown...but fight the conflict of still trying to help them two be available for one another. To me, it feels like a lost cause. But maybe this is happening because God knows, there are no lost causes. It is all in the hands of the Heavenly Father, not the one I lost as a child whom I never knew. Somewhere, Sometimes, God will help put the puzzles back together the way they were originally meant to be. Kevin here, set a goal, reached it...nowadays, we cannot get kids to be self-motivated, to set their own goals. Instead, I was married t to a man whose mommy tried to tell him to go be a teacher but he made me cry all the time lording his over-opinionated attitude over me. If this Kevin and I mesh, great, if not, I pray social services will restore all that they allowed been stolen me..

  • @ellenherman9543
    @ellenherman9543 7 месяцев назад +7

    Kevin is better without her

  • @RUdigitized
    @RUdigitized 6 месяцев назад +13

    I made the decision I could never get married when a judge ordered Kevin kostner, a 70 something year old man to pay 120k a month in child support. Will never get married

    • @BrockLanders
      @BrockLanders 6 месяцев назад +4

      Smart man

    • @dubiousdistinction6500
      @dubiousdistinction6500 6 месяцев назад +2

      @@jayniekinser7029 125k a month? wtf? they have 20 kids? jeezus

    • @annast9172
      @annast9172 6 месяцев назад +3

      This was a temporary payment, it was soon reduced to 63K. And honestly, making a decision not to get married because of a Hollywood divorce is stupid.

    • @CharlieBravo887
      @CharlieBravo887 6 месяцев назад

      @@jayniekinser7029 You kind of blame her? It's 100% her. She's a malcontent witch and a disgrace to boot.

  • @ellenherman9543
    @ellenherman9543 7 месяцев назад +4

    Divorce is tragic ..but there are far worse things.

    • @nichellesanchez3701
      @nichellesanchez3701 7 месяцев назад +3

      In your opinion. Stop speaking for other people and minimizing their feelings and experiences!

    • @MapleBar777
      @MapleBar777 6 месяцев назад +2

      “Worst” is relative to an individual’s own experiences. Comparing experiences to someone else’s only unfairly invalidates someone in pain, adding to it.

    • @viviennepastor3188
      @viviennepastor3188 6 месяцев назад +2

      I agree. The tragic death of a loved one is something that I have never recovered from.

  • @JesseGraham-l9s
    @JesseGraham-l9s 6 месяцев назад +1

    Please bring this up on Rogan some time Andy to help others. Glad to hear you're in a better place now. I honestly think we can turn this country back around in a decade or two if we can get rid of "no fault divorces." I think both sides would entertain it.

  • @chychywoohoo
    @chychywoohoo 6 месяцев назад +2

    2:35

  • @Ja50nkAt
    @Ja50nkAt 6 месяцев назад +1

    Hearing all the sad stories in the comments is sad. Treat women like a mountain lion, back away slowly don't make eye contact.

  • @tammywest8279
    @tammywest8279 6 месяцев назад +10

    This is why, God hates divorce. It’s worse than dying in the fact that the marriage is dead but everyone involved is still alive. It’s a special kind of hell.

  • @toddjohnson271
    @toddjohnson271 6 месяцев назад +15

    Imagine not being worth 900 million....divorce hurts a lot worse.

    • @DoyouevenknowtheTruth
      @DoyouevenknowtheTruth 6 месяцев назад

      No. It. Does. Not.

    • @toddjohnson271
      @toddjohnson271 6 месяцев назад +3

      @@DoyouevenknowtheTruth YES....the average man gets devastated much worse than Kevin Costner who can afford the damges.

  • @KNIGHTJUMPS
    @KNIGHTJUMPS 7 месяцев назад +5

    There is a guy on RUclips you pointed out all the women who divorced rich, famous, strong, successful, good men. There are a lot of selfsh women who will ever be happy by choice.

    • @CharlieBravo887
      @CharlieBravo887 6 месяцев назад +2

      If men were spiritually aware enough to see what is in wimmin, they'd never get married under the state.

  • @peacesmakers
    @peacesmakers 7 месяцев назад +3

    "They deserve an Oscar, Kevin Costner, Oh My Gosher"
    - Big Sean, Wiz Khalifa, Phone Numbers

  • @Wheelgauge-bt7ox
    @Wheelgauge-bt7ox 6 месяцев назад +8

    I made it through a divorce and NEVER AGAIN! Stay single and your pockets will always jingle😜

  • @bradwolfe2993
    @bradwolfe2993 5 месяцев назад

    no matter what happens, stay close to your kids, and stay active in their lives , it is the ultimate priority. they suffer just as much, and the outcomes affect them the rest of their lives and their children's lives. In Jesus' name, I stand alone. Amen

    • @TimeGoes-b7x
      @TimeGoes-b7x 5 месяцев назад

      Sad and funny thing is most these women have sons and are enabling future women to shatter their son's lives as well.
      All these women are codependent enablers of each other.

  • @amochswohntet99
    @amochswohntet99 5 месяцев назад

    Sometimes I ask myself how divorce is even possible, but then I remember that some people can be very irrational, and men also can be huge goofs. Women reeeally hate goofiness, because it can cause embarrassment to themselves in a group setting, but they often fail to reject the goody man before the relationship gets serious, and then their emotions take over and they accept him anyways, but as life goes on this goofiness can become more pronounced generally or in certain situations, and then real disdain starts to form. Also, douchiness is a type of goofiness.
    This common failure of men cannot be overlooked, because women are more social than men, they look to the group and are keenly aware of where they stand within it.

  • @BirdDogey1
    @BirdDogey1 7 месяцев назад +1

    Kevin Costner and other CSUF distinguished alumni have their pics in one of the campus buildings.